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Q: My boyfriend and I live together. I always initiate sex and wish he'd make the moves on me. I actually went a month without any sex at all while I waited for him to get so horny he'd jump me, but he never did. He says he loves being chased, but I fear that he might not like me as much as I like him. What can I do?
A: Before assuming that his desire for you is deficient, consider these other possibilities. Perhaps he just has a low sex drive — sounds impossible, but many men just aren't sex-craved maniacs, especially if they're stressed out on the job or going through a hard time with their family or friends. Also ask him about his past girlfriends. If one of them frequently rejected his sexual advances, that would definitely make him gun-shy. By letting you call the shots, he doesn't risk any further sexual rebuff.
While it's understandable that you'd want him to take the helm of your Love Boat sometimes, your monthlong "test" probably did more harm than good. By suddenly ceasing to be the instigator, you may have conveyed the very signals you think he's sending you: that you don't want him anymore. A better way to lure him into the chase is to play the seductress. Unlike your usual go-get-him strategy, seduction involves teasing, provoking, and rousing him to action. Leave steamy messages on his voicemail or email at work like "I'm not wearing panties today. You know why? So when we get home, you can just lift up my skirt...." Or tell him a fantasy you've had, such as "I dreamed I was walking down an empty street and you appeared out of nowhere and took me right then and there." Done with strategic creativity and finesse, these hints are sure to get him fired up and ready to burst through the door and passionately pin you to the bed.
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