| |
 |
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for more than two years. We recently moved in together, and since then our sex life has become nonexistent. He claims it's because we're around each other a lot now and see each other every day. Is there anything we can do to get over this?
Advice from the Baroness: A vanished sex life could mean your cohabitant is panicking — as many of us do — about taking the relationship to the next level. Moving in together may not be marriage, but it certainly brings with it many losses, including that of independence, privacy, and the freedom to play the field. His reaction is totally natural and shouldn't make you think he wants to bail — he may just need some time to get into the idea that he's building a life with you.
In the meantime, you can definitely do things that will bring his libido out of its deep freeze. For starters, show him you two can still have your own lives. Make plans with your girlfriends, go out of town alone to visit family, step up your workout regime, or even take on a totally new hobby. All this will demonstrate that although you're living together, you are not expecting to spend every minute with him. Plus, a busy agenda means you'll have to schedule 'dates' with him, which will comfort him by reminding you both of those days back when you lived in separate roosts.
Another way to rev his engine is to initiate sex in places other than the bedroom, whether that's the living room couch, the shower, or under the dining room table. Or, one day when he comes home and walks into the kitchen to investigate pleasant odors wafting from the stove, be there naked, clothed in only an apron. By doing this, you paint your pad as an erotic playground rather than a prison — the kind of place he's anxious to return to and find you there waiting for him.
|
|
