I. Vegeta's First Mood Swing

Bulma was inventing an automatic can compactor one normal day, when she heard, from an adjacent room, a girl screaming. She stopped what she did and blinked, unsure what to make of it. A moment later, however, the scream echoed down the hallways again. She blinked. Again, a few seconds later, the scream reached her ears. Getting curious, she stood up and put down her invention to find the source of the outburst. Though one might have been scared of a random girl screaming, the fact that this was rather repetitive didn't cause Bulma do be upset in the least. Besides, Vegeta was home. If anyone wanted to start some shit, she'd say "Bring it on, bitch." and grin that stupid grin of hers. After about five more times of the girl screaming, Bulma started to get irritated. 'It sounds like a dying cat,' she thought miserably, picking up her pace to make the noise stop.

Quite pissed by the time she reached the living room, she idly watched Vegeta in a cross between curiosity and anger. After the girl screamed three more times, however, the blue-haired lady refused to take anymore of it, "Vegeta...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" The Saijin looked over his shoulder, the girl screaming yet again, "Hn?" Bulma angrily marched over and unplugged the TV set from the wall, "I said..WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!" Vegeta blinked, letting a pause run longer than it should, "Watching the television." Bulma stared at him for a moment, "Then what the hell was with the screaming!?" Vegeta blinked, but other than that, didn't move, "I was watching a movie. A horror as you humans call it. I didn't understand why it was supposed to be scary." Bulma blinked, wondering why she decided to choose such a dense guy for her boyfriend, "Vegeta, you're so STUPID!" Vegeta tried his best not to laugh at the pathetic insult, "Hn." Bulma gave an aggravated sigh, "YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!" Vegeta blinked, unmoving, "Hn." Resisting the urge to attempt to hurt him she merely plugged the TV back in, giving the previously silenced girl her voice back.

"He shouldn't have stabbed her there," Vegeta mentioned, tilting his head to the side, "See, he missed a vital organ. If he wanted to do some damage he should've twisted." Bulma grit her teeth, "That is so disgusting, Vegeta." The prince didn't seem phased in the least, "Woman, you are so weak." Bulma pushed the TV over, breaking it, "Go outside, Vegeta." Vegeta blinked, "Hn."

***

Walking down the street, the Prince of Saijins mused as to why he had listened to that woman at all. Though it had surprised him when she had resorted to violence, a thing she swore she'd never do. He chuckled to himself, sensing that he was rubbing off on her just a tad. He suddenly stopped on the sidewalk, turning to look at the building he had come to - which happened to be a library. For some unknown reason he was drawn to the house of knowledge and he went inside to gaze across the shelves of literature. Walking around aimlessly he randomly picked up a book to find it was on anatomy. Bored to death or slightly interested, Vegeta took a seat at a table and began to flip through the pages. 'Humans aren't that different from Saijins,' the prince thought, examining intricate diagrams.

"Hey man," a grungy teenager said, leaning over from the table next to him, "Don't waste your time on that." Vegeta raised an eyebrow, wondering if the boy was currently high on some drugs. "Here man," the boy said, turning and sifting through a pile of books, "Take this. Trust me." Vegeta glanced at the cover which was plain save for that of bold capital letters proclaiming "KARMA SUTRA". The teen gave him a wink and a nod before turning away. Sensing a strangeness to the book Vegeta stuffed it under his shirt and made a swift exit.

***

Stepping into Capsule Corp, Vegeta noticed that the TV was still on the ground broken, but Bulma was no longer around. Kicking off his boots he padded upstairs to his room, dropping himself onto the bed. Curiosity was eating away at the small man and he pulled out the book, examining it's cover once more before opening to a random page. His eyes widened and he nearly choked on his own spit as he realized what type of book it was the foolish teenager had handed him. Flipping around aimlessly he could only think about how strange humans were.

"Vegeta?" Bulma's voice suddenly asked, the door opening. The prince nearly had a heart attack, throwing the book backwards and out his open window, letting fate carry it elsewhere. "Oh there you are," the scientist said, "Look, dinner will be ready in a few minutes, ok? I'm going to go tell Trunks." Vegeta didn't understand why he had suddenly felt so embarrassed, and after thinking about it he got quite upset with himself for acting so stupid. "Hn," he said, glaring at nothing.

***

Trunks was a regular young teenager that was starting his journey into adulthood. As such this permitted him to stay up late and sleep into all sorts of strange hours in the day. He was abruptly awoken when a large object smacked him in the face. Groaning, Trunks pulled the object off to find that it was a book. A random page in it showed two people engaged in sexual intercourse, causing the half-Saijin to not only stare in shock, but wonder where exactly it was that the book had come from. It seemingly flew in on the wind and hit him on the head. 'Maybe it's a sign from above,' Trunks mused to himself, still staring at the pictures within the book. Before he had time to react, however, the door to his room opened and his mother stepped inside. "Trunks honey, it's time for dinner," she announced, her gaze falling from her son's shocked face to the book he held in his hands, "What's that you have there...?" Trunks wasn't sure what to do, whether hand Bulma the book or chuck it out the window the way it came in. He didn't move. Bulma approached with caution.

***

Vegeta sat at the table, waiting for his woman and son to join him so he could eat. Sighing, he drummed his fingers on the table-top, a bored expression on his face. The scene from the horror movie replayed inside his head and he smirked. The blood had been so fake. Suddenly a thunder of footsteps approached, and with idle fascination Vegeta found Bulma running toward him, looking more panicked than she ever had in her whole life. "Vegeta! Vegeta!" she wailed, looking as if she was about to cry, "Our little boy is growing up!!" Vegeta's lips upturned into a forced smirk before falling again, "Hn." Bulma paced, unable to keep still, "Vegeta! We...we have to give him the talk!" Vegeta quirked an eyebrow lazily, "The what?"
"You know...the talk."
"No. I don't know."
"YOU KNOW....THE TALK..?"
"Oh, yes, woman, you're being so descriptive. The talk, like that doesn't narrow down the thousands of categories it could be about."
Bulma was exasperated, "Sex! We need to give him the sex talk!" Vegeta sat back in his chair, "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Bulma nearly sobbed, burying her face in her ends, "Why me?" Vegeta toyed with the silverware, "So when are we going to eat?" The blue-haired lady's mood instantly took a different turn, "No way! We're not eating until our son knows how to have safe sex!" Vegeta frowned, his hands dropping the silverware back onto the table, "Then go talk to him." Bulma gripped the back of a chair and squeezed, "I can't give it to him! I'm his mother! You have to talk to him!" Vegeta didn't seem intrigued in the slightest, only uttering, "Hn." Bulma went over and tugged on him, "Go! Now! Talk to your son about the birds and the bees!" Vegeta calmly walked forward despite Bulma's pushes; looking over his shoulder he questioned, "The what?" Bulma yelled in his ears, "SEX! Talk to him about SEX!!"

The scientist marched them right up to Trunks' door, opened the door, and pushed Vegeta inside to deal with it. Vegeta muttered something under his breath as the door shut, leaving father and son alone. "Hey boy," the prince addressed his offspring, "Your mother demanded we have the talk about sex." Trunks groaned and fell back against his bed, terribly embarrassed already. "Don't worry, I'm not going to lecture you," Vegeta said, walking up to the boy's bed and sitting on the edge of it, "I'm fully aware that you already know how to do it. It's instinct. Humans are so strange..trying to explain instinct. Hn, just a waste of breath. Instead how about this..." He trailed off as his eyes caught sight of the Karma Sutra book that lay on Trunks' nightstand. He opened his mouth to ask his son how he had acquired it, but decided against it. "Here," Vegeta said, taking the book, "Move over." Trunks did as commanded and the two royal Saijins spread themselves across Trunks' bed. Flipping open to a random page, Vegeta tilted his head, "Humans can bend like that?" Trunks cleared his throat, "Yeah, dad." Vegeta nodded, a smirk on his face, "Cool." Trunks gave a nervous smile, chuckling lightly at his father's strange attitude, "Dad, are you feeling okay?" Vegeta shrugged, flipping through the pages randomly till he saw something that sparked his interest, "Yes, of course I am.....Hey, look at that, that's a good position, don't you think Trunks?" Trunks peered at the book, blushing thoroughly, "Yeah, dad, sure." Vegeta merely nodded, "Hn."

The bonding commenced under the strange circumstances, twenty to thirty minutes passing. "Hey Trunks?" Vegeta questioned, turning to look his son straight in the eyes, "I just wanted to tell you, I love you." The half-Saijin gave a nervous laugh, "Ah...dad...that's just weird that you say that when we're looking at a book all about sex." Vegeta shrugged and ruffled his son's hair, "If I don't say it now, I'll probably never say it. I'm proud of you." Trunks gave the brightest happiest smile of his life, "Thanks dad, I love you too." Vegeta nodded, scanning a few more pages, "I just want you to know..." The words came out of, seemingly, no where, "...that if you decide that you're gay, I'll understand." Trunks swallowed, unsure if he should laugh or be worried, "Uh..thanks dad. Good to know. Are you sure you're fine?" Vegeta cast him another look, "Of course I am."

Of course, this was far from the truth. Vegeta was not okay. He was far from okay. In fact, with each passing second he became more and more less okay. Vegeta, however, was blissfully unaware.