GW Takes On…Bunny Suits.

Standard disclaimers apply, and even if I forgot to say that I still have zero money to sue for. Ha.
Warning: Lots of OOC at the beginning, and some people might say even further on too. I just want you all to know that I am aware of this. Also, I have Treize still alive at the end of the show in this particular story, so don’t assume I don’t know what I’m talking about, I just needed him to be alive for it.
~All G-boy voices are in the color that matches them for this fic. ~

By Lena Ban Obsidian: ENJOY!!

The day had started weird. Duo felt uneasy about their newest mission, though he had not yet spoken a word to the others about it. Because the only person who’s awake right now is Heero, Came the wry thought. But back to that mission- he had a creeping suspicion…had the scientists tried to pull some kind of sick joke? Had the scientists been paid? Had the scientists completely lost it?
Wisely, (or not…^.^;) he decided to converse over a hearty breakfast/lunch of Bomb-O’s™. (The cereal that pops apart like a real explosion, giving you the sugar kick you need to make it through the day! Duo liked them especially because it featured a group shot of the Gundam pilots on the front of the box.)
“Heero?” Duo ventured, swallowing as the dark-haired pilot looked up with a glower.
“Hn.” The American pilot swallowed again- boy this was nerve wracking- and opened his mouth to ask Heero the question that had been nagging at his conscience since five a.m. that morning.
“Did you get a-“ Ah, but fate intervened! Trowa, Quatre and Wufei chose at that moment to make their first appearance since eight p.m. the night before.
Wufei looked unusually cheerful, and Trowa looked completely wiped out.
Quatre seemed unaffected, if a bit jumpy.
“Ah, the wonders of being allowed the leisure to get up at noon,” Wufei took a seat, filling his bowl with Bomb-O’s™ and looking around for some milk.
“It’s four in the afternoon, Wufei,” Quatre pointed out, sounding a bit cross. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose before sitting down next to the Chinese pilot and filling his bowl with the cereal as well.
“Life…is…” Trowa began, sounding particularly exhausted. He slumped down into a chair that just happened to be next to Duo, causing the boy to worry.
Trowa had always made it a point to sit as far away from the talkative Duo as possible- Trowa was definitely out of it. The American winced at the creaking of the table- just how much weight was the other boy putting on the poor wooden contraption?
“Life is what? Short?” Wufei snorted and resumed his ferocious shoveling of food into the cavern that was his mouth.
Trowa shook his head slowly from side to side.
“Life is…a…a…” The other boy paused again, blinked ever-so-slightly, and finally finished. "A b###h…” Quatre grumbled under his breath and shoved the box of cereal towards his glazed over comrade. Trowa regarded the box for several minutes before realizing that it contained food, and that food was something he wanted to put in his bowl. Beyond that, he couldn’t figure out anything else- such as why he wanted to put food into his bowl- but it seemed enough for the oddly tense Quatre.
“So…what happened last night?” Duo wondered, aiming his question to Wufei, who seemed the cheeriest and most likely to respond- despite the fact that this condition worried the Shinigami pilot.
“You know the rave that you were telling us about? I mentioned it to Quatre, and then he said we should all go…the dancing was great, and we all totally lost ourselves to the music.” Duo thought quietly, lest the psychic Quatre hear him, Oh, yeah. The music. And I bet you’ve never heard of raves before this, either. The Chinese pilot was faring far too well to be a non-pro at the crap the trio must have taken the night before…unless… “Wufei, you ever heard of E?” Quatre perked up and the Chinese pilot looked confused, both reactions causing Duo some minor brain-wiring problems.
Quatre…E…
“E? No, but I took something they kept calling Ecstasy last night…” Duo rolled his eyes.

Note to self: NEVER, EVER let Wufei go near the rave scene again.
*: Check into Quatre’s background. He seems to know too much…

Now he turned his attention to Trowa, who still looked completely and totally exhausted. That is, he looked more dead to the world than usual.
“Trowa? Did you take anything?” Before the pilot could speak up, Quatre replied: “No, I couldn’t get him near the stuff. There was a lot of alcohol available, though, and…” Didn’t think you had it in you, Trowa! Duo clapped the near-comatose pilot on the back, which immediately woke him up. He straightened, remembering finally that oh, yes, you eat food so you can function, and proceeded to devour his small bowl of Bomb-O’s™.
Duo stared for a moment, and then made another addition to his mental note.

*: Trowa will need no supervision at my bachelor party.

Which thought brought him back around to the subject he had been trying to broach with Heero before the trio made their entry. He cleared his throat, which got the attention of all but the stoic Japanese pilot, who was now on his third bowl of Bomb-O’s and soon to move on to his fourth.
“Hey, Heero, think you could save us some for later?” Somehow, against all the laws of character, that got Heero to look up, milk dripping from one corner of his mouth and a wad of food waiting to be swallowed as he was given pause.
He glowered, unable to use words (not that he would have, glowering is an inevitable thing here) and proceeded to swallow the spoonful that Duo had interrupted.
“What do you want?” The American pilot almost face-faulted, realizing that ordinarily, four words were Heero’s entire verbal communication for the day.
“Did you check the new mission we got?” With a small frown, the Wing pilot whipped out a laptop from Spandex Space and set it on the table, moving his empty bowl aside.
“There is a new mission,” He murmured, almost surprised. He clicked, read, and sweat-dropped. “Duo, if this is a joke, omae o korosu. And I mean it, this time.” Slowly, the braided boy shook his head from side to side.
“What is it?” Trowa, Wufei and Quatre chorused together.
“Here, read it for yourselves,” Heero grumbled, turning the laptop so that they could see.

XXX Operation: Surprise XXX
Assigned by: J, G, O, S, and H.
All Gundam pilots are to respond
The Queen of the World
Is getting married
To the former leader of Oz
You are to attend her
Bachelorette party
Pick up proper attire at
Zone 4 Street 116 Block 7
Arrive no later than 9 p.m.
At 555 E. Queens lane
In the Sanc kingdom
XXX Transmission Ended XXX

“We have to what?” Quatre cried, rereading the message. Trowa and Wufei (who had lost his odd perkiness, finally) exchanged puzzled, vaguely worried glances, and Duo looked hopefully at Heero for some answers.
“Ninmu ryoukai,” The pilot stated, shrugging. They couldn’t be in for anything bad, now could they?

? ~.^ ?

The clock struck ten, and the assembled women all cheered.
Catherine, who was dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a red spaghetti strap shirt…if it could be called a shirt…called out loudly to attract attention.
“Hey, girls! Everyone, stop for a moment!” The ruckus that could only truly be described as a party calmed down a bit. Catherine motioned to Noin at the far end of the auditorium. Thank god you’re rich, Relena, Catherine thought.
Relena had allowed them the use of her money for funding.
“We first have a beautiful dance number by a certain…group…we all know and love. And then we have a romantic song to be sung by each member of the group, and at least one will be for Relena only!” There was a loud, half-depressed ‘awwww’ from the people assembled and Catherine held up a hand, winking and smiling.
“But that doesn’t mean the other four songs can’t be for us out in the audience, does it?” This declaration was met by loud cheering, and again Catherine held up a hand for silence. “Will miss Relena Peacecraft please take her front row seat?”
The blond girl smiled around at the people who shooed her over to the small round table up at the front of the auditorium, next to the stage. Eventually, she ended up sitting in the chair, and Catherine clapped her hands to encourage applause.
“Now let’s give a nice, warm welcome to the Gundam boys!” She replaced her mike and danced off the stage to the side, joining the audience. The idea had been Dorothy’s, and Noin and herself had managed to coerce those scientists into making the boys do it- sufficed to say, the whole thing was brilliant.
Dorothy sidled up next to the redhead and grinned, mouthing the words, “I am genius.”
Then the music started up.
A small ripple of laughter traveled through the room, but it was short lived because the women were too enthralled by the sight that met them on the stage.
The first figure to make an entrance was a very grumpy looking Wufei. He was snazzily dressed in a red bunny suit, complete with tail, ears, and pretty red sequined high heel shoes that gave him no troubles whatsoever with balancing.
He came kick-dancing onto the stage, did a couple of cute moves, and then dropped to his knees, arms welcoming in the next of the G-boys. His scowling face was the only sign that he wasn’t enjoying himself.
Duo came staggering on-stage in a blue bunny suit and matching heels, with balance not quite so admirable as Wufei’s. There was an interested murmur when he accidentally ended up wiggling his cute little…er…tail, at the audience, and then he did the same end move that Wufei had, a pained look on his face. The shoes hurt! His mind cried.
Next came Quatre, in a yellow bunny suit with gold heels to match, agile as a ballerina and twirling about the stage. No one seemed particularly moved until he did the splits on the stage floor once, twice, three times and then did a handstand, performing the splits in the air.
His finish came with wild applause.
As the yellow clad boy motioned, breathless, to the next performer, Catherine whispered excitedly into Dorothy’s ear, “Here he is!”
On to the stage came a bunny-suit clad Trowa, appropriately green, but many different shades thereof. He performed several acrobatic stunts, including the famous triple-axle-without-the-ice-skates and then the circus performer went into an interesting sort of tap dance, making use of the shoes he wore.
His face was completely blank, but the crowd was going wild as though he looked like he was enjoying it too. The boy did an- interesting flip and landed right on Relena’s table, proceeding then to bow to her and flip back onstage.
Even the Queen of the world looked a bit breathless after that, and then the music changed from sexy to downright evil-intentions-with-a-heavy-drum-beat. Heero came onstage in his shimmery black bunny suit, which out-glittered all the other boys, and began stripping. When he was down to the lower half and his shoes, he stopped. There were loud cries for more…and then the music changed again. The Wing pilot had taken the mike, stepped off stage-thusly onto Relena’s table- and begun to sing.
“Every time you say goodbye…I die- a little.”
All the people who hadn’t already gone silent immediately shut up. It was becoming obvious to them all that Heero really knew how to sing.
Catherine grinned to herself when she saw Relena get breathlessly whipped up onstage next to her half-naked Gundam obsession, which she had given up for the peace of the world. Unfortunately, the peace of the world could only be accomplished by marrying Treize, which effectively had destroyed the chances of Relena and Heero ever getting together. Officially, anyway…but Treize and Relena didn’t seem to mind. (Not that Catherine hadn’t noticed that the two got on rather…nicely.)
“Every time you say goodbye, I wonder why… a little.”
Every pair of eyes in the room that didn’t belong to Heero bugged out as he proceeded to do what was basically a belly dance.
“Why the gods above me
Who must be in the know
Think so little of me
They allow you to go.” Trowa, Quatre and Wufei started turning their heads so they would not have to watch, examining with great interest the nearby walls and the ceiling. Duo, however, remained transfixed, fascinated by the lengths Heero was going to accomplish his mission.
“When you’re near there’s such an air
Of spring about it,
I can hear a lark begin to sing…” At the word sing, he had embraced her. The song was momentarily interrupted as he kissed her passionately, and restarted again when he was done.
“About it.” He drew away from her, slowly, his eyes showing a sadness at his leaving that invited Relena to follow him.
“There’s no love song finer
But how strange
The change…”
Heero ripped off the remainder of his clothes, save the bunny tail and a tiny, black sparkling thong. There was a collective gasp of appreciation from the female audience.
“From major to minor.
Every time…we say goodbye…” Here he leaned in close to her again, this time taking her hand and kissing it, then bowing to her.
“Every time…we say…goodbye…” Still holding the last note, Heero walked slowly, seductively off the stage, kicking off first one shoe, then the other.
He handed Duo the mike before leaving stage as the cheers blazed in the audience, and Relena debated whether or not she should follow him. Catherine and Dorothy reached up and gently pushed their blond comrade in the direction of the exit Heero had taken, their eyes twinkling in mischief. They knew that neither Heero nor Relena would be willing to do anything promiscuous, but they also knew that Heero’s mission included making Relena happy, and that could mean more dancing.
The cheers did not stop for a good fifteen minutes, and even then they only stopped because Duo got bored with waiting and spoke into the mike, interrupting the ecstatic party-goers.
“That one was specifically for Relena, but how about you ladies out there?”
The screaming was rekindled with a passion.

? O_o; ?

The five Gundam pilots woke up completely exhausted and thoroughly sore.
Trowa and Quatre sat together at the table, moaning softly over the pain their feet were giving them. The acrobat didn’t do much of it, but he did contribute here and there.
Wufei was methodically wolfing his breakfast of Bomb-O’s™ with a permanent, fierce scowl adorning his tired face. He must be remembering last night, Duo thought. The American was doing the same as his Chinese comrade…minus the scowl, of course. In order to occupy his mind, Duo surveyed the clothing the boys were in, including himself in his survey. The first thing he noticed was the amusing fact that they were all wearing very loose, comfortable pajamas- in contrast with the tight bunny costumes they had worn the night before.
The banged boy wore barnum and bailey pajamas, with a pretty sea-green background, the blond wore white silk, and Wufei was, Duo noticed with a slight grin, in SD Shenlong-covered jammies, complete with the most adorable clip to loosely hold the glowering boy’s hair back. Duo himself was in black slacks and a white t-shirt, which had a nice stitched picture of the DeathScythe on the back.
Heero was no where to be found.
A laptop beeped on the table; four guns were whipped out of Pocket, Vest, Braid and Sword-Sheath Space, all firing on the blinking screen at the same time. All beeping stopped as the machine abruptly died, its screen shattering into glass shards that added a nice, lived in feeling to the room. The boys returned to their generally melancholy silence, which was interrupted again a few minutes later be a sleepy looking Heero in cops and robbers, navy blue pajamas.
“Guys? I heard gunfire…” A wide yawn interrupted anything further he might have had to say, and the boy blinked rapidly under the harsh light.
“It was nothing, Heero. Go back to bed.” The Japanese pilot nodded his head once, the eyes sliding closed and another yawn coming before the boy shuffled back into his room.
After returning to their separate activities, the others soon forgot about the incident with the laptop, causing a minor crisis when Heero truly awoke a few hours later, learning that his computer was dead.
Duo sheepishly pointed at Wufei.

~FIN~
^.^

Hotcha, G-boys in bunny suits…
And stripping in bunny suits…
Mmmmmmmmm…mwa ha ha….

I guess it’s a little late, but this is really a girl fic!
(Laughs) Warning! Very much a chick fic! Har har…