Ask Seru, Part 1Dear Seru, I have a problem. There's this guy. He's stupid. He's Canadian. He lives in Canada. And he's a Canuk. And a dumbshit football player. He's bald, ugly, has a gay voice, etc. You might think this is a great description of yourself, but I assure you it is just a coincidence. Any advice? Terrene/Ashton/Ultra Cool Girl/Dyke Dear Misinformed Whore The next time you seek advice from me make it in the form of a question, like on that game show hosted by fellow Canadian Alex Trebek. A mere description just makes you seem like a slobbering nimrod that would need a support worker to empty their bedpan before the worker can spell check for them. Tell him/her that Canuck is spelled wrong. As for an answer, I’m try to piece together what you said as best I can. As far as my experience goes, most Canadians are either one or more of the following. Smarter than you. More attractive than you. Have a better sense of personal hygiene. Not a dyke Football is a sport that combines brutality and psychological warfare. I’ve never met a ‘dumbshit’ that played it, only those without regard for themselves or others. Sincerely, Seru40 My whiny step-sisters are preventing me from getting rid of this god awful AOL. They're too stupid to operate Hotmail or AIM, so they complain whenever anyone brings up switching from this piece of crap. How can I get rid of this problem without doing any work or going to jail? FLAMING KID MOE The other 10% of your fan base Dear FKM, As a fellow person with a sister that has difficulties operating simple things like Hotmail (specifically), I can empathize with you. I found that simply schooling them on the program is a useless venture anyways, and ultimately not the path to follow. Violence will most assuredly get you into the jail you mentioned, so I can only think of one solution. Simply apply some sort of sticky substance to the keyboard and keep an industrial size tub of Vaseline next to the computer. Then purchase several phallic shaped fruits, vegetables, and rubber products and dip them in said Vaseline. Finally, purchase any magazine popular among girls 12-14 and tape the pictures of the males that are described in the publication as “dreamy”, a “hottie”, or other word that describes their attractiveness. If you succeed your step-sisters, or anyone in your household, will ever set foot near the computer again. Unless of course they enjoy phallic shaped fruit as well. Sincerely, Seru40 I am a dirty Aussie hoar. What should I do to remedy this awful situation? -Fabio To remedy this, I suggest not sending questions that take all the comedic possibilities out of it by pre-labeling yourself a dirty Aussie hoar. Now I have nothing to work with. You truly are a dirty hoar, so my answer is more or less inconclusive. Sincerely, Seru40 Dear Seru, MAYY I EAT A HAM SANDWIXH?!!!?!1@ Love, KN The salt content in ham is rather unhealthy. I recommend a salad with a little lemon juice. Sincerely, Seru40 |