Hi, My Name is Slim Shady.

Ol Dirt McGurt: HELLO, SIR.
PsarevoOmorfia: Gay.
Ol Dirt McGurt: JUST LIKE YOU.
PsarevoOmorfia: I wish Melissa was on.
Ol Dirt McGurt: AS DO I. SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO CALL ME SOON.
PsarevoOmorfia: I've been talking to MEN all weekend. I want to talk to a woman.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I'm talking to a woman who wants to have dirty, dirty sex with me right now.
PsarevoOmorfia: Instead, I'm stuck with a black man.
Ol Dirt McGurt: ISN'T THAT EVEN BETTER?
PsarevoOmorfia: Who enjoys watermelon and violence.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Shit, I had something I wanted to tell you.
PsarevoOmorfia: Was it about watermelon and/or violence?
Ol Dirt McGurt: Neither, I think.
PsarevoOmorfia: Who is "KaneGabriev?" Do you know?
Ol Dirt McGurt: I don't think I've ever heared of the fellow.
PsarevoOmorfia: He's IMing me right now, and I'm trying to figure out who he is.
PsarevoOmorfia: I'm pretty sure he's ONE OF US.
Ol Dirt McGurt: HOW HORRIBLE.
PsarevoOmorfia: And he gets He-Man references.
PsarevoOmorfia: He can't be too bad.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I remember watching He-Man, but I don't remember much about it.
PsarevoOmorfia: Just think of gay, and you pretty much have it.
Ol Dirt McGurt: OK!
PsarevoOmorfia: Prince Adam was a raging homosexual. And so was his cat. Only a sword, and the power of Castle Greyskull, could turn them straight.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I think the final episode of every series should have every character die.
PsarevoOmorfia: Even Three's Company?
Ol Dirt McGurt: ESPECIALLY THREE'S COMPANY.
Ol Dirt McGurt: At least John Ritter should die.
PsarevoOmorfia: JACK TRIPPER WAS HILARIOUS.
Ol Dirt McGurt: DON'T DEFEND THAT TRIPE.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Is the most Greek thing you've ever done eat at a Greek restaurant?
PsarevoOmorfia: Hmm...... MOST GREEK. Would humping a sheep count?
Ol Dirt McGurt: Of course.
PsarevoOmorfia: I do enjoy Vasili's. I eat there OFTEN.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I've never heard of it.
PsarevoOmorfia: That's because there's only one Vasili's.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I see.
PsarevoOmorfia: Most Greek.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I really don't know anything about Greece. One time I saw a show were some greek guys knocked a bull unconsious and slaughtered it in the middle of town with everyone watching.
PsarevoOmorfia: Would you like me to share with you an email I sent to Mr. Mike Payne?
Ol Dirt McGurt: Sure.
PsarevoOmorfia: It explains why I don't trust Turks.
Ol Dirt McGurt: NO ONE SHOULD.
PsarevoOmorfia: OK, here it is.
PsarevoOmorfia: > I would never > INTENTIONALLY piss a Greek off, sir. I've read about the stuff that > you guys have done to the Turks.

What WE have done to the Turks?????

WHAT _WE_ HAVE DONE TO THE TURKS?????

WHAT IN HOLY LOVE ARE THOSE WACKY BELGIAN SCHOOLS TEACHING YOU?

Oh, my dear Mr. Payne, you're lucky my grandpa isn't here... he'd probably like to tell you some stories. THE MAN LOVED EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET, EXCEPT TURKS.

Here's a little anecdote for you, just as an example: This happened in 1822, during the Greek war for independence against the Ottoman Empire (400 YEARS, they had Greece for). Anyway, Chios (the island my grandpa came from) got involved in the war, and the Sultan became furious that his favorite island was rebelling. So he ordered his admiral to make an example of Chios that nobody in Greece would ever forget. Over the next two weeks, 30,000 people were slaughtered and another 45,000 were taken into slavery. TWO WEEKS! 75,000 lives destroyed in TWO WEEKS! Now THAT is butchery.
So if the Greeks have ever done anything to the Turks... well, I don't know... but the Turks are worse.
Ol Dirt McGurt: The Turks are horrible
PsarevoOmorfia: Yes. Now you are educated.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Very.
PsarevoOmorfia: He really did love everyone but Turks. He would become quiet and hateful when they were brought up.
PsarevoOmorfia: My grandma didn't like them either.
PsarevoOmorfia: My sister bought me a Turkish pipe last time she was in the Mediterranean. I've been wondering if I should smoke from it.
Ol Dirt McGurt: HELL NO!
Ol Dirt McGurt: Your sister should be shunned.
PsarevoOmorfia: They didn't like her in Turk Land.
Ol Dirt McGurt: They being your family or they being the Turks?
PsarevoOmorfia: The Turks didn't like my sister.
PsarevoOmorfia: They saw PSAROS, and became mean.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Ho, ho. That must have been horrible.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I'm still laughing about Gay Coleman.
PsarevoOmorfia: YES, THAT WAS FUNNY. Freudian slip or something.
Ol Dirt McGurt: I read a funny story about a Freudian slip.
PsarevoOmorfia: Is there a talking dog in the story?
Ol Dirt McGurt: no
PsarevoOmorfia: Well, tell it anyway. I GUESS.
Ol Dirt McGurt: A guy meant to ask his wife for something but he said you've ruined my life or something to that effect.
PsarevoOmorfia: You are a FABULOUS storyteller, Andre.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Yes, I know, Chris.
PsarevoOmorfia: You should be a black comedian.
Ol Dirt McGurt: What's the difference between Greeks and Turks?
Ol Dirt McGurt: I don't know, but they're both gay!
PsarevoOmorfia: WHITE PEOPLE SO SILLY! WHITE PEOPLE... DEY TALK FUNNY!
Ol Dirt McGurt: I have a white person voice I do. I do it too much. My friends are getting tired of it.
PsarevoOmorfia: I have an old Jew, a Negro, a Gay, and some others.
PsarevoOmorfia: Actually, MANY others.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Your Jew impression is fantastic.
PsarevoOmorfia: I'll do my Gay next.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Hurrah.
PsarevoOmorfia: I've gotta go. You should post this on your site. Because, hey, why not?
Ol Dirt McGurt: Yeah... I'll think about it.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Actually, I probably will.
PsarevoOmorfia: Content is content.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Compared to some of the crap we have, this will be great.
PsarevoOmorfia: "IT"
Ol Dirt McGurt: DELETED.
PsarevoOmorfia: NEVER SAW "IT"
Ol Dirt McGurt: THAT IS GOOD.
PsarevoOmorfia: I'm going to finish my Funyuns now.
Ol Dirt McGurt: Goodnight.
PsarevoOmorfia: GOOD NIGHT! STAY BLACK!
Ol Dirt McGurt: YOU STAY GREEK!
PsarevoOmorfia: YES!