Gladiator

Gladiator is a great movie. I loved it. How can you not like a bunch of guys getting stabbed and dismembered? The fight scenes were spectacular. Although historically inacurate, it is a great story of a man who gets revenge for his family's death and all sorts of bad stuff.

Gladiator is the story of Maximus, a Roman general, who is a bad ass motherfucker. No one since Shaft has kicked as much ass in a single movie. Anyway, Marcus Aurelius, the caesar, asks him to be the next emperor, but he declines. Marcus' son, Comodus (who will from now on be known as Faggot Boy) is pissed because he thinks his dad doesn't love him. What a faggot. "My dad didn't love me, so I'm a faggot with no morals." What a fucking bitch. If you do something wrong, you should blame it on your dad, so you can be like Faggot Boy. But I digress. So he kills his dad before anyone knows Maximus is supposed to be emperor and then orders Maximus and his family to be executed.

Maximus, being the bad ass mutha fucka he is, kills the guys who are supposed to kill him and goes off to try and save his family. He is too late. His wife and son are crucified like Jesus. However they are burnt. Not like Jesus. Then it seems like Maximus has a drug induced dream and he's suddenly picked up by a wandering caravan IN SPAIN and made into a slave. Then he gets bought and he's a gladiator and kills a bunch of guys.

Faggot Boy does some strange shit after he's emperor, such as he acts like a pedophile on his nephew. Now he's Pedophile Faggot Boy. Later he wants to have sex with his sister. Incestual Pedophile Faggot Boy.

I think this movie is grand (even though we have a flaming faggot (Faggot Boy) being a bitch throughout the whole movie). I saw it on DVD and the cut scenes were very entertaining. Christians being fed to lions (YUM!) and whatnot. If I was to watch it again I would skip over the plot though, since it is not necessary to the fight scenes (SUPER). I would reccomend this movie. Bad Ass Mutha Fucka (Russel Crowe) kills Faggot Boy (Joaquao;jkd;slfj Phoenix) in a spectacular fight. Is all you could ask for (if you have the balls to watch people get cut in half and decapitated).