You can take away the rivers, the snow, even the beautiful glare of the sun, but lord ... please lord ... don't take away penis. Penis is a magical, delicious treat given to us by god. We can suck it, we can lick it, we can stick it in our asses. It fills a hunger that we don't know exist. Penis is sweet, it's hard and sturdy, it tastes like ham. You can eat penis while putting anal beads in your ass, for extra fun. Penis is the best thing to ever exist. EVER. Nuts? They're ok. But find me a man with a nice, throbbing penis, and you've found yourself a man who'd commit suicide just to come back as a ghost and ride him. If I could be revived with my brain cells still intact, I'd become a woman. Then I'd go around and have guys constantly gang rape me by shoving there cocks all around me, sticking them up my fat, hot pussy, my asshole, sticking them in my spreaded lips, and between my tits, while I hold two in each of my palms and masturbate them, then time it just right so that they all cum on my body at the same time, just so I can feel the hot goo stick against me and dry up. I'd do this everyday for at least a month, and eventually my pussy would be so fat and wide that it could handle two cocks at once. And even then that wouldn't be enough. God I love penis. I wish I could buy penis on a stick, then I'd rub it against the entrance to my rectum and explode in cum. Then afterwards I'd eat the creamy semen from the stick and smile in delight. If penis didn't exist, I don't think I'd wanna go on.
In short, I love to masturbate to the Dexter's Laboratory. ActionHank's big black lips and rugged beard are just perfect in that cartoon. I masturbate to him quite often, even when I'm being sodomized by my flatmates, sucking their dicks so they'll be my friends.
[editor's note: this page was made especially homoerotic specifically for Ace Faggot Kendo