Flowers For Rowan
(Or, how the idiots won't know what I'm talking about.)

I just saw the funniest damn movie I’ve seen in a long long time. Rat Race is a movie by the one of the Godly Zuckers Brothers. Jerry Zucker produced and directed the movie, which starred Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean), Jon Lovitz (The Critic), Breckin Meyer, Seth Green (Family Guy), Omar Gooding Junior (Jerry Maguire), Whoopi Goldberg (A Stupid Nigger). Anyone unfamiliar with Zuckers might remember Airplane, or the Naked Gun series. Yup. Those were his. One of the funniest men in the world. Next to Hitler, Mel Brooks, and David Arquette (funny in the queer way). This is his film.

It starts out in some casino. It's Vegas, does the casino matter? The Camera’s keep changing between the different players. We find out these guys are the players later. It’s not important to plot. You are supposed to laugh at all comedies. So when I sat down, I started laughing. Everyone missed the point, so I had to explain the concept. That was funny in it self, but that’s another tale. So therefore plot is not important. John Cleese (Funny Man), who runs the casino, has all these players “win” these gold coins. Anyone laughing as hard as I am yet?

The back story is Cleese is having all these wealthy foreign men bet on who can get to Silver City, NM. Pure comedy gold. Each member is to get to Locker 001 in The Silver City Train Depot. At first they all dismiss it as a hoax. Except for the affable (get a dictionary, I ain’t on Sesame Street.) Mr. Bean he believes it and starts out to get his money. The funny thing is he is Narcoleptic. He falls asleep anywhere at anytime. So he doesn’t even get out the door. Jon Lovitz plays a Jew. Who gets in lots of trouble with Nazi’s in this film. HE even impersonated Hitler and drives his car into a WWII Veteran reunion. I laughed so hard I blacked out. Hilarious. Whoopi Goldberg plays the role of a stupid nigger. It’s the funniest thing she’s done all her career. She gets in a car with her long lost daughter. She has this daughter because she can't keep her legs closed. So far, so funny. They end up getting bad directions from Kathy Bates. Never ever take directions from Kathy Bates. She will get you killed, if you don’t believe me, watch Misery. She tried to do her duty and kill Whoopi. On a side note Whoopi’s company is One Hoe Productions. IT should be Stupid Hoe. Anyway, she survives it all and gets to the station with everybody else.

Seth Green has a retarded brother. They are scheming to get rich. This gives him the chance. A bunch of stuff happens to them as well. IT wasn’t as funny. Brekin Meyer doesn’t take chances until he meets this Chick, falls in love and goes ahead with the plan. Not funny either. Cuba Gooding plays a ref who made a bad call at a game and cost people money. Lots of money. He is looking to redeem himself. In Scarecrow clothing and a bunch of Lucy Ball impersonators. That is funny.

Anyway to cut to the chase, everyone ends up there at the same time, but no one gets the money. Smash mouth does. What? IF you want to know the ending go see for yourself. Do it for Hitler.

I give this movie 8 Whoopi Goldberg’s hanging from a tree.
-Jebus of Nazareth