State Of Triple Life


I would like to weave a tale for you, my dear reader. The tale of a gangly limbed black man from the mid west, who had aspirations to make a website filled with great comedy. Alas, he couldn’t do this task himself, and all that was produced was a review of a movie that gave away the ending, a horrid contributed editorial about the female genitalia, and he himself, declaring his adoration and unwavering love for ‘Sexy Anime Bitches.’ So he decided to tap a seemingly endless source of comedy, myself, to write a review. And a short time after it was posted, he decided that he should invite myself and another possessing a sharp comedic wit to join the site, which we accepted. And yes, the initial days were glorious, and we were ‘fucking awesome’ as a boorish whelp might say. Then the laziness set in. In what was to later be seen as a great error, we accepted contribution after contribution. At first, it seemed grand, a mere 5 minutes to complete an entire update. One person contributed so much, he found a way into the staff. More contributions, and the amount of quality seemed to pale in comparison to the tremendous GAY. One or two quality articles couldn’t save the dying site, we’re talking about the same site that could withstand IT. But the staff got cynical, sardonic. They called their own work GAY, shitty, et cetera. Updates promising content seemed the norm, or other useless garbage like updating a link page. And that brings me to the present. The state of Triple Life.


Here's an award we won't be winning soon.

If this site is to survive, something drastic must be done. Be it the deleting of content, a new layout, or even moving to the holy grounds of Terrashare, where 23 year old virginal men seduce young girls with comparisons between a Japanese and American version of a cartoon, pointing out even the most minuscule detail. There was once a time when we assumed we would be good enough to get accepted as a hosted site at Somerandomguy. The same place where the malevolent Mr.Popo’s Palace resides, and the sub-malevolent Psaturn’s Homepage. But with the death of that site, our hopes were crushed like a fat man sitting on a small dog. And I assume that’s none too pleasant. And seeing as the majority of the staff (For example, everyone) is too lazy to move everything to the fabled Terrashare space, it sits on the festering shit covered baboon ass of the internet, Geocities, home to such sites as this. Although I’m sure Robert May gets praise by the bucket full for that magnificent apogee of greatness. We desperately need a fan base though, as the current one includes the gay contributors, some random people from a certain messageboard, a few from another, and the staff itself. Being linked mainly by Dragonball sites has its drawbacks after all. I’m sure if the site were renamed Super Goku’s Super Saiyan Super Site, that counter would roll over. So yes, we need to find our audience. Be it transsexual mental patients, or incarcerated rapists, just as long as they send us flowery e-mails which we can post and call gay, and fill our messageboard with posts praising our hard work. Or at least posts calling Ace Kendo gay. As part of this little diatribe, I should dissect each staff member and what they have managed to accomplish.


Triple Life: His past works are terrible. His more recent works are terrible. Some question why the site is even named after him. The creator of IT and the Linkin Park review, he seemed to be blacklisted from his own site. But recently, something of quality appeared, the Army Men article. So I say it’s better not to rush him to work, because when he wants to, he can be damn amusing. The Popo vs. Mr.T comics were great. I also don’t count AIM conversations as content.


Yogurtman: Has contributed a whole 2 things to the site. Not including those rivetting “Look, I added a link to the link section. GRAND!” updates. Also not including the “Here’s something Fabio did, what a fag, hoho.” updates. As much as I like to see him tear into Fabio like a man that has been held in a P.O.W camp for 20 years fucking a 2 dollar whore (there’s a shitty metaphor), he can do much more. He did however take the old layout that looks like it was made by a sub-Negroid (which it was) and make it into something less sub- Negroidish.


Ace Kendo: Proves the old phrase “If you keep sending articles to the newspaper, they’ll eventually hire you.” Of course, I made that phrase up, but that’s what happened. Capable of comedy, and even more capable of making unfunny gay shit, he has taken over the job of the alpha contributor. Luckily, we don’t have to suffer any more Special Fighters of America comics. I should say something good about him, but I think I’ll just talk about Karnov. Man, that fucking fish boss at the end of the first level is annoying. Level 4 is great.


Seru40: Now, I’m not going to pat myself on the back and be and egotistical whore. With me, for every hit, there is a miss. For every Ninja Scroll review, there’s a Rampage review. Of course, my shittiest isn’t anywhere near contributors (they make a good scapegoat because they can’t defend themselves here) offerings. But shit is shit, no matter how it tastes. (What the fuck?) As a matter of fact, I’m going to be a man and delete my comics page, I’ll be the martyr of heterosexuality. I hope others will learn from my example.


Contributors: Not much to say here that hasn’t already. Most of the time, we commit hate crimes against them (like Triple Life deleting everything Vinny Mac did), but they are fans and we appreciate them, just not the work they send in. Asinine trash like Fabio’s diatribes against America do bring a smile to my face though. Others, like Ashton’s comics, make me wonder if pain can be inflicted through a computer screen. Then you have the oasis in the desert, Zenxin and his GREAT comics. And that’s when I think I give contributors too hard a time.


Then Fabio sends in a new comic.


So that’s where we are at the moment. As for the future, who knows? Perhaps we will pull our shit together, get some nice looking graphics on the site, and an even better layout. We might even update more than once a week, with something that is actually comedic. Or perhaps we will do what we always do, update with the greatest of sloth, add gay contribution after gay contribution, and just generally send ourselves into oblivion.


It’s a mystery to all.

-Seru40