"Hope" (Once Upon a Time)
by Kat
Disclaimer: some lines are taken from my favorite book Hope by Glen Duncan. Song is by Guns N' Roses "Novemeber Rain" which I added in while typing this. It's central to the point of the story. Also of course characters not mine although I wouldn't mind if Jake let me borrow Hamilton :)
Rating: R, I guess few curses maybe PG-13. I'm slowly making my way up to NC-17 ;) hehe
Summary: Sequel to "Summer Sea Dream" (Strange Encounter) After two years Hamilton is reunited with Jake at the beach.
Author's Note: After reading Tish's "Sail Away" I got inspired. Also someone said for me to do a sequel to Summer Sea Dream. Notice in both fics I can't decide on one thing for the title ;) Hope everyone likes it please don't flame me if this fic sucks :(
"I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you can keep an open heart
Wouldn't time be time to charm you"
My eyes squinted against the shield of sun. The dolphin disappeared and surfaced with each breath from the sea. Watching it until I lost attention for it. Eyes wandered around the place indifferently until they met another's familiar gaze.
Recognition.
Walking on the beach consisted more effort than it usually did than walking on the sidewalk. Yet, the weight of my feet as it sank into the water and sand wasn't in my mind now.
She stood in front of me unmoving and changed in appearance. Her midnight hair against her shoulders. Her eyes were guarded after the initial shock. It was weird no other word for it. The tension of meeting someone you let inside so easily before.
"It can't be."
"Yeah, it can."
A breeze blew her hair across her face. She pulled it back with an impatient gesture.
"What are you doing here?"
"Wishing on dolphins."
I laughed at her sarcastic comment and she laughed with me too. It was so easy to fall back on old habits, laughing in shared humor.
But this made her defensive again when she realized we were laughing together. The open wound of unhealed memories.
"Shit Hamilton!"
"I can't believe it's you. I can't believe I found you."
She looked at me directly in the eyes for the first time in a long time. It held days and nights living without me. The accumalation of the will to forget.
She's still so beautiful.
"Don't Hamilton." She saw the physical contact I wanted from her.
"But . . ."
"But what? You think we meet each other again after 2 years and I'm supposed to be polite and happy to see you? Not one word from you?"
"I didn't know where you were."
"You couldn't send it with the pictures to my mom?"
"I don't take pictures anymore."
She was standing a few feet away from me. A wall had been built between us. She looked disappointed at this confession.
"Are you with anyone now?"
180 degree change of direction. Was there hope?
"No, you're a tough act to follow . . ."
"Hamilton!" Pain in her voice. She was becoming vulnerable. I could decipher the cracks forming in her wall.
"It's true," I ventured a step forward. "and you?"
She turned away. The dolphine was gone. She was silent.
"So."
Melancholy eyes again rested on me.
"Kind of not serious."
Damn bastard. Is he better than me? It killed my ego she had went on.
"Like us?"
"No."Her voice was sad.
"I'm sorry I didn't go after you. I'm sorry I just let you leave without saying goodbye. If I had to do it all over again . . ."
"You would've done the same thing."
"No, I wouldn't."
"Yes, you would. You said you loved me and at the first test you didn't show up to stop me."
"Do you still hate me?"
She gave a frustrated groan and buried her head iniside her hands sobbing without tears breathing heavily. The words I've been keeping to myself for the past two years were fired like bullets from a gun.
"I love you, Jacqueline. I still love you. Not one fucking day goes by where I don't see your memory inside a window or past a corner. I can't stand loving you and not being in your life!"
"Will you stop it! Just stop!"
She started walking away with speed. Something inside me panicked. I don't know how desperation though could make my voice say without total lack of emotion.
"Jake."
She turned as slowly as I said her name all her energy came and went like the wind. I guess no one has called her by that name in awhile. Why would they?
"You can't forget it either can you?"
She just stared at me waiting for the knife I had already stabbed into her heart to be twisted deeper. Before I could answer she said our favorite lines from a book we both read.
"It was good. Once upon a time. For a little while I know you loved me. I know I loved you. For a while, we achieved it, we realized the myth."
"Do you still love me?"
"No." Sharp pain. She held the knife to my heart now.
"I don't believe you."
"I don't care."
"Jacqueline, I still love you."
"How many times are you going to repeat that!"
"Until you believe in it."
"I already did look where that got me."
"Let's meet again."
She shook her head.
"Please!"
"We met again. We don't need an encore."
"I'm begging you. Just for 2 hours. One hour for each year."
"I can't."
"He won't know. Tell him you're meeting an old friend."
"I-"
"We can meet at the pier and go to a restaurant, a cofee house, please."
I could see her wavering. The knife, the pain washing out to sea. Was there hope?
"Do you remember the drive in?"
"Yes."
"Do you remember old Jim who hid your motorcycle?"
"Spare me the history lesson. I remember. I remember everything."
It's come to us unable to forget each other.
"I've tried you know. To convince myself that what we had wasn't real,"she gave a wistful smile.
"I know." I understood.
"Guess what?" Quiet tones again in a conversation with many roads and many directions that never flowed.
"What?"
"I never stopped loving you either."
I couldn't breath.
"I still love the days of you and me. When you pissed in front of me without any self-conciousness, when you pulled me to you inside the bathroom, all those times at night in my room, and by the lake. Love's always kind in the beginning and you were my first everything."
We were standing side by side then staring at the sea. At it's vastness. All our unanswered questions and the past weren't behind us, but stretched ahead.
I took her hand. It was soft in its comfort. It fit as perfectly as it did two years ago when we both believed in love and each other with all our hearts.
"So never mind the darkness we still can find a way. . .
"You're not the only one
You're not the only one
Don't think that you need somebody
Don't think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody"
Guns N' Roses
"November Rain"
the end
So was it okay?? Did it really suck?? I've been feeling the need to write angst fics sorry :( PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! I need feedback. I want feedback but if this sucks please don't flame me :(
continued . . .
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