reymundo salao
the guardian, iloilo city

OFTENTIMES DISTURBING
Write-ups from the column of Reymundo Salao
September 2003

BER BER BER
by Reymundo Salao
Oftentimes Disturbing

It wasn't the supposedly visual Mars that allured me while I was sitting before the canvass of the night sky. But it was the cool winds that tell what season it was. At least we can bid humidity a farewell for now, for the September winds have come to remind us that December is near. It seems that we Filipinos are always excited of December, we take notice when the "Ber" months arrive. The malls and shopping centers must be gradually putting on their yuletide decors by now. While some homeowners stand outside their house with a thinking frown, trying to recreate a visual blueprint in their head before they begin to wrap their house in a string of Christmas lights. 

"Ber" or not, I simply just relish evenings when the wind is tickling with a pleasant chill. The kind that makes you think of an imaginary figure to embrace in the cold. But when you're alone, you simply just cherish that imagination in your mind while you walk through the evening streets with a silent smile. On some late evenings after I play some stimulating PC Game at my hangout, Project XXA1, I would walk through the empty crossroads, and pass by the large fountain in front of the Provincial Capitol. The tranquility of an urban scenery under yellow streetlights, coupled with the shivery breezes, make me think of Prague or some exotic urban city that I've seen or imagined from countless spy fictions. 

If my calculations are correct, we should begin to hear Christmas songs in the malls by the middle of this month. Sleigh bells are ringing, although I'd wish those were coins on my pocket. If I were planning to buy that special unnecessary expensive thing this month, maybe it would be better if I'd wait for the sales or discounts that the malls would surely put up. Perhaps it would even be best to buy those decors as early as now, or start buying your Christmas gifts on these upcoming weeks and months, so that you wont have to spend a lot in just one season of gift buying. Just imagine if you'd make just one trip to buy all the presents for all of your family and friends, do you think you'd still have that yuletide cheer when you'd find you only have 20 pesos left for yourself? While the hype is still a long way from now, you still have time to march back and forth to the shops for a pleasant shopping of gifts, and while your at it, the groove of the stroll and the exercise in your legs is all you can get from it. While the hype is still far from now, the streets and the malls are still yours to soar around in.

Christmas season is always felt early since we don't care about Halloween. Sure we celebrate All Saints Day and All Souls Day, but generally, us Filipinos don't get into the hype of Halloween. We don't dress up, we don't hang skeletons and plastic bats, we don't tire ourselves by carving a grinning face on a pumpkin, we just don't give a damn. It's just not our style. It's like, "Why bother?" 

That is one thing that I love about Iloilo. It has so many calm moments, most especially late nights in the middle of the week, or on Sunday afternoons. I used to consider it a dull factor and complain that Iloilo is so boring, and it feels like it has no nightlife, or not enough recreational activity to indulge in. Yes, that is indeed one thing that I don't like about our locality, but it is also the serene factor, the sleepy, laid-back aspect of Iloilo that I am proud of. Whenever you'd see me strolling in the streets like a psychotic lost bum, you could bet that I am in one of my askalish moods. And if it were on an evening with chilly winds, you'd be sure I'm grinning deep inside. December is near. Dear Lord, please start filling my pockets with money now. 
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REMAINING SYMPATHY
By Reymundo Salao
Oftentimes Disturbing

I am very much opposite from being an Arroyo supporter. Although I do appreciate her many projects like the Lifestyle Check, the Massive Anti-Drug Campaign (hmm…massive?), and the Strong Republic National Highway, among others. She was a promising president, but though her efforts may have been sincere, her grace had been diminished. With a position lacking legality, she has been disobeyed. With an emotional and impulsive temper, she has lost some respect. With an awkward attempt to impress the people, she has been ridiculed. With her affiliation with suspicious allies, she has been mistrusted. With her armies attempting to defy her, she has been challenged to a boiling test, and now with a husband faced with accusations of corruption and even infidelity, she must now be immensely fatigued. She may have graced the cover of an international news magazine, which praised her leadership, but we are sure the President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo is very weary. I don't think any normal human being can stand this much pressure. More than ever, I pity her. 

Being the president of the Philippines is taking on a task closer to suicide. Perhaps the only way to free yourself from the pain that this duty induces, is to become corrupted by greed, so that you would be wicked enough to turn a deaf ear to the millions of Filipinos who depend on where your leadership can steer the country to. But beyond the negative things we imagine Gloria possesses, we can see that after all, she is human. Some of us might even think that her being a sensitive female, magnifies the pressure a hundredfold. If you were in her shoes, you can imagine the millions of Filipinos mumbling in protest that you should leave your office. The voices, screams, and shouts of mockery of the protest rallies that call for your resignation. The rhetoric of the Magdalo soldiers that may have sounded like words of poetry yet they sting like acid upon the President's ear. Then there are now the revelations of Ping Lacson. They may or may not be true, but these are the kind of things that cause severe reactions before being even seriously confirmed. If a normal conflict between a husband and wife can cause enough heartache to make one drop dead, how much worse would it be a heartache when your marital private life is being discussed in the primetime news! If a heart attack is like a butcher's knife hacking your heart, Gloria's problem is like using an atom bomb to blow the heart to kingdom come. 

So far, Gloria has been strong. She still is standing firm. But can she still make a difference? Can she still save us? Will all this pressure make her succumb to a doomed fate of being remembered in history books as a failure, or will she overcome this make a miraculous twist of solving the nation which has seemingly gone upside down? 

In my personal opinion, having rid of Angelo Reyes from the position of Secretary of National Defense was a positive bold step. It sends out the message that the president is doing what is best for the country, and not protect Reyes as though she owes him her presidency. On the issue of Ping Lacson versus Mike Arroyo (with special participation of Jose Pidal), it is expected that Gloria better not join in the fray of these two shadowy figures that destroy each other. My pity for Gloria on this subject matter is like my pity for Marcos; Gloria is stained by Mike, as much as Marcos was stained by Imelda. Some of us view this issue as this: Two criminals trying to destroy each other. 

The people in Gloria's life. It's like the hive of scum and villainy. Ping Lacson, the law-enforcer whose accused as a gangster, Mike Arroyo, the beloved husband, whose accused as corrupt, accused as an extortionist, accused as having an affair. Gringo Honasan, who may be a revolutionary, but accused as a war-mongering rebel. Joey Lina, whose actions against Honasan may have been too hasty to be reliable. All these people are like masked shades of black and white. Who is really to be trusted? That's just but a handful of the many figures she has to face and to straighten up. 

I'm sorry, but I think her administration is losing its charisma. Many of us have already been disillusioned by the visible and obvious faults that the system incurs. Yes, we do pity her. But pity is human. There is no room for pity in the field of governance of a third world nation. It may just slow down progress. Come on, Gloria, show us a miracle. 
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HUNG HANGER HANGING OUT
By Reymundo Salao
Oftentimes Disturbing

My friend was frowning for the longest time as he drove through the road that leads to Guimbal. So much so that we ate our fiesta lunch at already around 2 pm. As we got back to Iloilo, I was already stricken with some stress induced-colds that made my nostrils feel like a leaky faucet. Instead of heading home and resting myself with some warm tea and cartoon network, I decided to keep my promise to my friends and went to Cicada that evening. . 

It was the semi-dry run-semi-reopening of the Cicada bar and restaurant, which is located along E. Lopez St., Jaro, Iloilo City (in front of BPI). Cicada is my favorite and most respected bar in Iloilo, not only because it is run and owned by friends of mine, but because of various reasons. It is the only place which has that subliminal ambiance, calm, un-chaotic atmosphere that contrasts from typical bars on this city. It is one place where you can just lay back, chill-out and enjoy their eclectic music, and interact with warm, cheerful, and dynamic spirits. Everybody is welcome in Cicada, and unlike other bars, nobody feels that they are obligated to "look hip", "look sosyal" or "look porma". On the contrary, most of the crowd that patronizes Cicada are artists and intellectuals who prefer a more simple and relaxed environment. 

Armed with a Vicks inhaler to sniff my colds out, ordered a nice hot peppermint tea that steamed up my nerves and calmed my nostrils a bit. You are presented with a variety of drinks to choose from, including exotic mixes like Caipiroska and Daquiris, they even have warm drinks, which include varied flavors of teas and coffees. If you tire of beer, yet in search of affordable mixed drinks, well come take your seat. I also noticed that Cicada has now a wide range of delicacies served, from Italian foods to Spanish foods. Hmmm… Now, perhaps my only problem is to find an aphrodisiac or some magic spell to make Michelle Bayle fall in love with me, in doing so, I am now sure I can take her to Cicada for a nice and tranquil dinner date. But if I couldn't even get an instant cure for my colds, how the heck can I find an aphrodisiac! 

I rarely go out on Friday night-outs nowadays. I couldn't just let episodes of my favorite TV shows pass (at my age, I still dig X-men Evolution! And a little GMA Frontpage to keep track of the misadventures of Jose Pidal). But if I do go out, Cicada is one place that would wanna hangout. Personally, I am annoyed by places where cocky hip-hoppers and coño-english-speaking pasosyals wander about. But I do confess I also like those other places for their lovely, enticing femme fatales who dress in their backless, see-thru, mega-babe outfits. It makes my want to kill myself whenever I drool over them. But there's nothing like hanging out in a place where your sense of relaxation is honest and is steamed in cool warmth. 

Like many other twenty-somethings and older people, most of us are bored with the annoying noise and anarchic adolescent-pumped party fun as defined by the many nitespots, bars, and clubs. We don't care if we're in the "in" place or in the "most happening" places, sometimes; some of us just wish we could find a nice place to have fun without the hassles of a jampacked bar. It's good to know that Iloilo's nitelife has that something that other people can enjoy. Perhaps you want to check out the place and be a regular. They will have their official reopening this Saturday night, September 13, 2003. Hope to see you there!

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FEST CONTROL
By Reymundo Salao
Oftentimes Disturbing

Somebody asked me once what should be the top three priorities of the city government. On the first and second priority, I put flood prevention and cleanliness. Although it is of highest importance, peace and order is understood as always the main priority. On my third priority, I put TOURISM. 

Generally, this is important since money from the tourism industry is a financial input that should not be underestimated. Although Iloilo City is mainly a quiet city that doesn't see much of dazzling activities than Manila or Cebu, we have our share of dormant potentials, our gems that have the capacity to attract foreign attention. We've got the world-famous Boracay nearby, and the Mango-rich Guimaras on just a stone's throw distance from us. We're less the stress, than the kind of stress people get from Manila or Cebu. And we've got seafoods a plenty. Do you know that in western countries one oyster can cost one dollar? A friend told me so. And it's true. A foreigner may gasp wide-mouthed to find that we have oyster stands (sisi stands) EVERYWHERE! And any ordinary pinoy folk can afford one plastic bag of oyster, with a nice cold serbesa to go with it. Our visitors from Manila also get themselves obese by eating all the seafoods they can muster, sometimes to the point that some of them get stomachaches from eating too much oyster. This alone, adds to the magnetism that Iloilo tourism is strong with. Add it with the simple lifestyle that enshrouds the aura of the city, and one can take note of Iloilo as a vacation spot. Especially during seasons when Iloilo holds different festivals. 

It was a pleasant surprise that there are now festivals like the Kayaba festival, which I am actually honestly clueless what it is about. My apologies, no offense intended. Maybe it would be a good idea to have wider publicity and advertising next time, so as to attract more people joining in the festivities. Maybe I was just busy that week so as to have missed hearing the news about this festival. But worry not; I'm optimistic that the next one would bring in more revelry. (I cannot erase the picture of that hot kayaba chick in the sizzling bikini outfit from my mind! I wish I 'd been there myself that time! Hehehe!) Anyway, party on! And more luck next year…We're all part of it anyway!

Whenever we talk about Iloilo's festivals and the tourism that goes along with it, it is obvious that we're talking about none other than the Dinagyang festival. It's the one thing that turns the meek, conservative and calm folks of Iloilo into hyperactive, hedonistic party people, even if it's just for a couple of days. It's nice to know that last week, the city government has already begun preparing for that one giant festival that puts the spotlight on our city. With an early preparation, we can be hopeful that the city government or the designated councils and organizations would efficiently prepare this upcoming year's Dinagyang festival and turn it into something bigger than any Dinagyang festivity in the past. I sure do hope that they would have lots of concerts and parties where everybody can really participate. If I may just be as spontaneous as to freely just pull any idea that farts off my mind, I'd wish there would be exhibits, mini-acoustic concerts, rock concerts (to cater to rock party-goers too), extreme game competitions like wall-climbing, skateboard exhibitions, rollerblade exhibitions, not to mention bangka races at the Iloilo river, jet-ski races, art fairs, the list could go on. 

The street-dancing merrymaking could be better, when the curfew would be more later. I did notice that during the previous year, sound systems were turned off too early. There were also too much sound systems that are located on too near locations, to the point that you can see two different systems, two different radio stations that create too much noise because the gap between them is too near. The concept of street dancing is a cool one, it reminds me a lot of Germany's love parade wherein Germany's streets are filled with dancing, party going masses, raving in revelry. The other problem I have is that most of the radio stations play the same kind of music. I wish at least one of them would play "better" music (the ones that are not baduy), so that there would also be a variety to make others enjoy the evening as well. 

For now, we'd have to get ready for the nearer holiday: Christmas that is! Dinagyang is still far, but there's nothing wrong with hearing drums practicing already…or are those the drums of a Dinagyang council at work? Yudi!

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CITIZEN WEARY
By Reymundo Salao

Another scandal, another suspicion, another administration tarnished, another downfall, another uprising, another "call for reforms", another batch of politicians shifting from one side to the other, biting one another, allying with one camp to another, assuming each and everyone's intentions to be with malice. If some of you have noticed that the Jose Pidal scandal has not gathered enough storm as it did with the Jose Velarde scandal, perhaps it is because the Filipino people is tired of seeing the government of the Republic of the Philippines under heat of its own fire. It's not that they think the allegations are false, neither is it because they think the allegations are true. It is because the Filipino people are weary of the instability of the government. Just read what's on the news: Politician accused of corruption, Threats of impeachment, Threats of a coup, Economy falling. These are all old news. And it cannot attract the attention of the masses anymore. 

One thing about the Filipino masses is that we are a lover of intrigue. That is why the masses are so feverishly attached with showbiz (sad, no?). And the recent Jose Pidal gimmick is old formula, therefore less intriguing. It is a storyline that was already told. And as important or detrimental as it may be to the state of the nation, the people aren't surprised of it anymore. 

Most of us just content ourselves by just sitting back and enjoying whatever it is that comes our way. With the mention of the Pidal subject matter, most of us instantly brush off the issue with a negatory comment like "Oh they're all selfish pigs anyway, what can you expect?" or with a sigh that reads: "oh whatever!" (HAAAAYYYY!)

Really. What kind of end do you expect of this? Coming from a non-partisan, pessimistic point of view, do you think it is good that Lacson would be proven wrong with his Incredible Hulk (He has the nerve to use my comic book idol's name in vain) allegations? Or would you want to see an end where Gloria is pulled down from her last ounce of grace at the last few minutes of her presidential term? And what of the people around her? The senators, congressmen, secretaries, and politicians who are awaiting the next tide of the government and try their luck to assume positions. Do you trust them? Yes, I am assuming that some of you did trust them, for they are now holding those positions because of your votes and your hopes. But in their reign of office have they done any real concrete good to the country so far? And in getting a more powerful position would you think they would do more good? I would guess it all boils down to the kind of government we have. Some of these people remain in office because it is easy to go around the limitations, boundaries, and prohibitions of Democracy. But can you really trust the politicians who are currently in position to have the power to change the system of government? Or is it worth the risk? So to see a real change in the state of the country, it must be a long LONG road to get there. The shortcut may be messy. That is perhaps why some of us tire of giving attention to the complicated woes of the government. Nobody gave you the obligation to solve this national puzzle anyway, right?

But we are only filled with apathy because the effects do not give us much of a painful shock. Yes, we do clamor about the prices of basic necessities, we clamor about the slow pace of government activities, we clamor about the violence of a country haunted by war and crime. All we do is bicker and banter without really having a clear understanding of the issues. And all of a sudden, we are overwhelmed by apathy once more. Many of us just wait to be pulled off our chairs and be caught off balance. We wait to see if we're bleeding before we could really stand up, take things seriously, and express that we care. 

It is actually the poor and the aggrieved that take the toll of the government's disunity and instability. The conflicts that divide these factions in the government hinder the growth of the nation. Similarly, so does the corruption that some quietly practice until the day they are exposed. It's all confusing. The common folk tires of analyzing the details of this mudslinging saga. But if we are to make our own wise judgment of who is right or wrong, we must not turn an apathetic deaf ear on the news and the issues. Having the Filipino people honestly giving a damn about the nations' future is good enough a start that could lead to that long road to a better Philippines.

The Philippines is living in a complex quagmire of corruption, incompetence, and cultural identity crisis. Whether we like it or not, what the Philippines need in order to transform to a better society, is that it goes through an intense revolution that can acid wash off the corruption, that can purge the people until it forces itself to learn and practice competence, and that it be lashed by prejudice so that it can learn to rise from it, fight for it, and learn to value the pride of his Filipino identity. Until this time will come, I believe that the Philippines would only remain on this same cycle of poverty and corruption. 

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THE MUNDEIGHS
By Reymundo Salao
Oftentimes Disturbing

Let me guess…

You woke up this morning with a sigh "I hate Mondays!" It feels like you need a crane to pull you out of your bed whenever this happens. There is a minty spirit that makes your eyes remain on a state of drowsiness. Your muscles and limbs feel like jello, that you'd want to just slither and crawl out of bed and into the table where your coffee awaits. 

While your coffee may have given you the jumpstart for you to go take a bath, get changed and be on your way to the office, you find yourself back in the hellish state of Monday-whining. Graphically, it is most especially whenever you stare at your typewriter or PC, the bunch of files that you have to work through, and the boss who seems to always have his eye on you. If it were in the Star Wars universe, you'd swear he had one of those floating spy drones always focusing on whatever you're doing. 

There is that moment when you suddenly space out, dreaming about lying on the couch with a large bag of chichacorn and some blue pepsi, while watching the cheesy afternoon dramas on television, awaiting for the vendor of steamed sweet corns to pass by wailing "maiiiiiiiiissssssss!!!" The humidity of the afternoon sun, along with the tranquility of a weekday lazily spent at home. It is the definition of nirvana on a Monday with your staplers and the sound of a PC printer making drum noise. Your mind shoves too far that it actually wishes to add another day to the seven days of the week. Maybe if you'd be a member of some obscure religious group that believes working on Mondays is sacrilegious, maybe that could cure your hate for this day. But then again, after awhile, you'd start hating Tuesday. So what's the use?

You'd best adjust your work level to robotic. In the tradition of the Pied Piper of Hamlin, you turn on your little radio to zombify you to an active work level. Just hope the noise that you generate around your supposed perimeter of audio privacy doesn't annoy your boss. 

But worry not, Friday is just around the corner. Making a big deal out of it would only make the days go longer. Tuesdays may be a bore, it's like an extension of the Mondays. Wednesdays, you decide to pass by the bars, hoping it was Friday, or perhaps boggle out your eyes staring at college girls on their way to so-called "ladies-nite" Wednesday parties. On Thursdays, though, jologs are going up and down their phonebooks trying to decide who to ask out for a weekend date. I'd rather spend my Thursdays hooked on TV with Angel and Buffy. And then, comes…ahhhh…. Friday. 

When you think about how annoying a severe case of "the Mondays" can get, then you'd better make a mental note to yourself of getting enough rest on the weekends. As I end this mildly uninteresting write-up, I listen to that 80's song from the Boomtown Rats singing "Tell me why… I don't like Mondays!"

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ANNOYING NANG WITH HER BRATATAT BLABBERMOUTH

MONDAY MORNING. I always enjoy commuting on my way to work, regardless of the possibility of being late; I consider an early morning jeepney ride is as an essential soothing factor, which is as relaxing as coffee, not unless the traffic is wicked and the morning temperature, is utterly humid. 

There I was, sitting, riding on the tricycle, when I saw my officemate (let's call her simply "Nang"), who was seated on another tricycle which was catching up behind. Quickly, I turned my face in the opposite direction, to escape her line of sight. 

Nang is a nice old lady. But that is the problem, she is too nice that it ranges under the classification of "annoying". If she would see me, she would definitely make some silly gesture of saying "HI". She was children's children's TV show host incarnate. 

Apparently our tricycles were heading in one direction, which is the Jaro Cathedral area, where people would ride the different routes of jeepneys that drove to the city proper. 

When I got there, I rushed up and waited to ride a Jaro CPU jeepney with hopes of not ending up on the same jeepney with Nang. My attention was caught by a spunky and attractive campus chick, which seems like your average Jolina cutie. When a spacious Jaro CPU jeepney pulled over, I rushed to take a good seat, which was at the end of the jeepney. When Miss Spunky got in, I made a millisecond prayer that she wold sit on the row across rather than within my row, or beside me. 

Unlike other hot-blooded males who think sitting beside a foxy lady is a yehey thing, obviously, so that they could get a chance to feel the side of her legs, her thighs, or probably rub with their elbows and inhale the shampoo on their hair, their cologne, not to mention taking glances or even stares at the tiny hairs on the back of their neck, like staring at a delicacy that could make mouths wet up. 

Thing is, though, sometimes, you couldn't see their faces. I, on the otherhand, would prefer these attractive chicks to sit across so that, even though you could not "feel them", you could have the chance to admire their beauty (may it be great or simple), like an admirer of a painting which delights the eyes with marvel. 

Just before I was going to hold up my hand to pay my fare, Nang stepped in with a warm greeting and sat beside me. I greeted her with a smile, yet inside, my soul was crushed to find that the solemnity of my morning joyride was about to fall apart. 

Nang's superhuman attributes included 1. Her inhuman nice-ness. 2. Her unstoppable conversationality (a mouth which, though never was it very loud or never did it emit decibels that could disrupt one's balance, but it DOES talk like a machine gun with a silencer. A conversationalist who could go on even though nobody's listening… it is as if she was vying for a name on the Guiness Book of World Records). And 3. Her reeking odor. 

Nang was perhaps one of those superstitious 18th-century women who believed that it was bad to take a bath on Fridays, or if whenever you had a period. 

And so she began blabbering, humming actually, for the way she talked was never loud, just continuous. Like a machine. Like an electric fan which gave off a funny rusty squeak. Her topics were pointless trivial, utter DUH. I did my best to be accommodating, giving off cut & paste replies: "…huo (yes)…umhmm… huo…umhmm…"

There was a reason why I intentionally do not join and hitch a free ride with my parents' car, for they were also heading for the same office building as I am. And there was a reason why I don't feel a great sense of regret or loss with the fact that I do not have my own car to drive myself to office anymore for the past two years now. And that is because I enjoy my morning joyrides. 

And it was ruined because of my smelly, non-stop, humming topic box of an officemate was on the same jeepney as I. I hate this needless conversation that she does. At office, I could just easily excuse myself and move to another perimeter where she does not exist. But in this case, it is a violation of my personal peace. How then, indeed, can I just tell her to shut the hell up without sounding impolite or offensive? 

It got excruciatingly dull and annoying that I had to gradually ignore her, and focus my attention upon the scenery outside the jeep. 

After a while, her attention was diverted unto a couple with a baby, which was situated beside her. Thank God my prayers were answered. Apparently, they were having a bit of a problem. They were trying to pay their fare with a five hundred peso bill. Since it was too early in the morning, the jeepney driver had no change for such a large amount. Nang befriended them instantly then and there on the jeepeney and offered to pay the fare of these strangers. Normally, it is the driver who would usually give out the grace of mercy by granting the family a free ride. But it was Nang who stepped up and paid for their ride. It was rather unusual in urban culture to be extraordinarily kind to strangers nowadays. To do such would sometimes make people think that you must be some kind of fool. But what Nang did, although odd for modern urban standards, was a gesture of pure goodwill. I was ashamed that I was thinking insults to this woman who turned out to be one of the last living urban saints. 
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