The Guardian
Iloilo City

OFTENTIMES DISTURBING
Write-ups from the column of Reymundo Salao
SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER, NOVEMBER, DECEMBER, 2002

I AM A GEEK
(September 14-15, 2002)

        No matter what happens in our lives, what ups and downs we might go through, we still remain as our true color. We may be jerks sometimes, or sometimes, we may feel cocky, sometimes we even feel as if the whole world is against is. But no amount of experience and trauma can easily alter our nature. For me, I am a Geek. 
        What is a geek? The definition of Geek in the modern ages may that be of a person who lives an unconventional lifestyle, living along with science fiction, modern mythology (of comicbooks and Tolkien-type books), pseudo-obscure films, anime (well, anime has become pop culture lately, so it doesn't always count), fictional monsters, extraterrestrial and paranormal studies, and pc/video games as inspiration. A geek may usually be considered as an unofficial outcast in society for their ideas and practices may be a bit funny and bizarre for a normal individual. 
        We all go through adolescence and an adolescent state-of-mind, especially on the sexual aspect. For young men, there is always a certain state of need to go to bars and clubs to seek out the acquisition of the female of the species. In other words, boys will be boys, and there is always that desire to "score" with a chick every now and then. We all feel that urge to be the Cruises and the Pitts of our generation. For us geeks, it was difficult to get through that state. Chick-hunting is never an easy task for the typical geek. Most especially since the promiscuous chicks who hang out on bars usually go for the "jock" type jolog boys. Those who fancy themselves with their cars or their expensive colognes and checkered polos, plus, their extensive vocabulary on all that is basketball and somehow inherited the arrogant personalities of their jock idols. On the other hand, your typical geek would be usually the shy type whose would find it easy to deliver the simplest diskarte, but in contrast would find it easier to explain the technological schematics of Robocop's skeletal system. Nevertheless, sometimes, we do go through that phase successfully, and many geeks "deteriorate" to become the bar-going jocks that they once hated. They begin to shed off their geekness and deny ever being under the helm of geekdom. That is the issue that I am wondering, for I am bothered as to why these kids consider their geekness to have been a bad factor. 
        For my part, there were times in the past when I have lessened my geekness. There were moments when I preferred going to bars and (sigh!) drinking beers, instead of staying home to find out what happens to Scully and Mulder on the "X-files". Moments when I bought more colognes rather than completing my "Spawn" comics' collection. Those were the moments, which I am ashamed of. Now I am back. Now I am more a geek than before. Now I am proud to say that my extra (hobby) money goes, not unto beers and the "mules" that one buys for chicks just "to impress", but now I spend it on obscure DVDs like "Evil Dead", Star Wars action figures, and internet time surfing to the websites of Star Wars and X-files. I stay home for the most part of the weekend to play Warcraft III, Zeus, Simcity, and Star Wars Battlegrounds. I could not get myself to have vices like smoking, drinking, and drugs anyway. Thank God. I'm happy enough seeing Buffy the Vampire Slayer than the horny chicks on ladies' night. My other friends go "Hey dude, you wouldn't believe what this wild chick did in the bar...!" and continues with an elaborate story of some chicks in some bar event. But you know what, I still prefer staying home…HECK! Buffy is fighting a villain with god-like powers! I would never want to miss THAT. Me and my geek friends, last summer, were discussing during the opening day of "Star Wars Episode 2" and we asked ourselves to make a choice…Have sex with Joyce Jimenez? Or miss "Star Wars" on its first day of release? Watch STAR WARS!!! Geek indeed!

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THOSE SADISTIC MALAYSIAN MONGRELS
(September 6, 2002)

        I was watching the film "Schindler's List" the other day and I couldn't help but notice that the situation in Sabah, where our kababayans are suffering, seem to have a horrific resemblance to what the Nazis did to the Jews during the World War II era. News accounts report that these detained Filipinos are deprived of food, shelter, and clothing. What are their crimes? Being Filipinos? Is that even a crime? Isn't Sabah part of Philippine soil? There are even numerous reports that Filipinas have been tortured by these sadistic Malaysian pigs. Heinous, are these acts that Malaysia have been doing to our fellow Pinoys. Men, women, and children, all treated like stray animals. The animals actually are these Malaysian barbarians whose inhumanity is never far from that of a mad mindless dog. 
        Pitiful and tragic, to the point that this is leading to a racist hate. This may alter the way we look at Malaysia from now on. So much for the road to progress, being disrupted by another crisis. The Sultanate of Sulu has recently had the sensible guts to ask the Philippine government to have the balls to reclaim Sabah, because our law (and history) states that Sabah is indeed Philippine territory in the first place. 
        (According to what I read in a reliable news source: ) The Sultan of Sulu became the sovereign ruler of Sabah in 1704 after the territory was ceded to him by the Sultan of Brunei for the Sulu chieftain's help in suppressing a rebellion there. 
        The Philippines claims ownership of Sabah---formally referred to by the DFA as the "North Borneo claim--- as successor-in-interest by virtue of a deed of cession the Sulu Sultan granted the Republic of the Philippines in 1962. 
        The bone of contention is the lease of Sabah to Austrian consul Baron Von Overbeck and Alfred Dent for the use of the British North Borneo Co. in 1878. 
        The grant, the Philippine government maintains, is just a lease of the Sulu Sultanate's property for an annual fee of 5,000 Mexican dollars. The British government claims Sabah was sold to the British North Borneo Company and became the property of the British Crown until it became part of the Malaysian federation in 1963. 
        The present Sultanate of Sulu, Sultan Jamalul Kiram III, said the Malaysian government is still paying annual rent for Sabah, 5,000 ringgit that the Sultanate has refused to accept. 
Kiram added that the Malaysian government owes the Sultanate of Sulu arrears of 10 billion dollars since 1957, when the Sultanate formally withdrew the lease it granted the British government. 
        Now we have this present situation slapped in our faces. Why deport Filipinos from Philippine soil? Why the heck does the government succumb to this act of cruelty? Susmareeya!!! It is far more disturbing how we plead for mercy, when the guilty party actually is Malaysia, the land-grabber. The Philippines is, once again, becoming the punching bag of other nations, what with the recent "stepping-of-toes" that America has been doing and the revelation of meddling Germans in the PIATCO issue.
        Malaysia is brewing a state of hate, that a frightening possibility of war is lurking around, waiting for a drastic explosion to cause a domino effect. 
        The only way to avoid war is diplomacy. But with diplomacy, will we be able to maintain our pride and integrity? The Sultanate of Sulu is hoping that the Philippine government will ask for the aid of the U.N. on this issue. Perhaps it is only through the U.N. that peaceful means can restore order. 
        (BY THE WAY; HEY! The U.S. is "within our reach" now. But why don't I hear any of their "helpful" voices lately, especially now that we actually could use their help. Maybe I was right when I warned you that Uncle Sam was only watching over his own interests) 

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PRIDE & DRILON'S SHOES
(September 7-8, 2002)

        Senate President Franklin Drilon may have had a point when he made a big fuss over what happened to him at the San Francisco International Airport, but it may be too late for him since skeptics have begun raising their eyebrows, and his reputation may now have begun a change. He was extremely embarrassed and furious when he was asked by airport security to remove his shoes in public for inspection, even after he announced that he was a diplomat, on an official business to the United States (He was on his way back to the Philippines from a speaking engagement) and that he was holding a diplomatic passport. 
        This may be an unexpected error that the mild-mannered Drilon may have committed. But when you put yourself in his shoes (hehehe! No pun intended), you would be furious too. Knowing that one is dealing with a diplomat, the security personnel should have been more sensitive, especially when asking somebody to take his shoes off in front of a mass crowd of airline public. Imagine yourself, you are the virtually the third highest official of a country, and you are forced to take off your shoe before a mass crowd of other airline passengers and personnel. Knowing they are dealing with a diplomat, they should have some kind of a room, where their inspection could be done with a little privacy, avoiding humiliation and unnecessary insubordination. 
        To make it all the worse, the one who made the inspection was a Filipino who was an American citizen. In a news report, the fil-am even said he was not Filipino. Egad, man!!! That's the problem with you, fil-ams! Just get a piece of paper that says you are American citizen now, and you now begin to deny what the blood in your veins tell about your identity! 
        "When someone with a diplomatic passport is before you, identifying himself as an official of the Republic of the Philippines and showing a diplomatic passport, I would like to think that ordinary rules of courtesy apply," Drilon said. "I would like to think that you should not consider the president of the Senate of the Republic of the Philippines as a terrorist. I would suspect that they would recognize me," he stressed. But it would be actually hard for Drilon to clean his slate after this. Here comes the story of former US vice president Al Gore going through the same security procedure and not raising a voice about it, and then there's the story that Senator Loren Legarda has gone through a much worse security procedure at NAIA. It looks like poor Drilon has gone through a road rage that would definitely embarrass him. It is too late because the viewpoints and opinions of the public have spoken. Media has gone out with its reactions, that Drilon committed a "boo-boo". A grave error. A slip on the wet floor. 
        It is never easy to be a diplomat, after all, we are becoming victims of prejudice by our own Filipino brothers and sisters who have fallen into foreign citizenship. It hurts to be a Filipino these days. Maybe because we seldom do stand proud of our citizenship. Even in the simple examples of what we see everyday, like when the Pambansang Awit is played; instead of standing proud in respect, we giggle at those who do. And then there are the people who pessimistically claim how awful being a Filipino is. Many of them tend to wish they were Americans instead. There is something wrong with the concept of pride as a Filipino. We lack it. And even though we know that the American security personnel has a sensible point in telling Drilon to take off his shoes, we should keep in mind that we Filipinos must take sides with Drilon. That's the Pride that I would wish every Filipino to have. 

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OUR DAY IN THE SUN 
(September 19, 2002)

        Amidst all the talks of Mother Earth perishing from the pollution of a lethally overpopulating human race, there are still good news that tell us that mankind is doing its part to alter this damaging effect. 
        According to a news report, An Australian scientific team forecasted that the hole in the ozone layer over Antarctica that protects life on Earth from the sun's ultra-violet rays is shrinking and will be closed by 2050. 
        The team has discovered the level of ozone-eating chlorine from Chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) in the atmosphere has begun to fall some 30 years after the hole was first detected. 
Paul Fraser, chief atmospheric researcher with Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization (CSIRO), said a ban imposed on CFCs in the 1990s under Montreal Protocol had begun paying off. 
        The Ozone layer is the protective layer of the earth that filters the sun's deadly radioactive waves. Think of is as something like sunglasses, only this one protects the entire planet, rather than protecting your eyes. If it is fully destroyed, the sun's rays would have a very damaging effect upon the health of mankind. Skin cancer is merely the tip of the iceberg of this effect. CFCs are the substances which causes these damaging holes in the ozone. These CFCs particularly come from burning Styrofoam and the use of aerosol cans. 

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        Thank God for this, we won't be foreseeing a future where we'd have to use coats, umbrellas, and sunglasses outdoors all day. Ray Ban and I2I would be drowning themselves with profit if that day comes. Just imagine how stupid we'd look. I mean, instead of shields and spears, the next Dinagyang will see tribesmen having "payongs" and large "salakots". That would be heck silly. And then children would look at history books and say "Hey, the tribesmen back then looked cool!" and Mommy would reply "Well son, our ancestors from the late 20th century and early 21st century were just darn STUPID to have been so careless about where they dispose their McJolly burger styros and would put spray net on their dumb hairdos to look like a bunch of short asian cactuses". 

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FPJ: Campus Idol (NOT!)

        I was happy that the University of Sto.Tomas students have recently made their stand to reject actor Fernando Poe Jr. into presidency at the 2004 elections. The Political Science Forum (PSF) was the university group which led this campaign. They stressed that they are not against showbiz personalities entering politics per se, but that actors should not capitalize on their popularity. I wonder if other universities will follow. I believe this drive is not done from a partisan point of view, but from an honest and analytical point of view. I mean SHEEESH! We are talking about what we are going to do about our nation here. Millions of Filipino lives are at stake. While this is a fact, many idiotic showbiz personalities still think its some big joke that they just get into just because they feel as if MAYBE they're right for the job. Well, thank you Mr. Panday, but were not looking for someone who will play for a "Batas 45" sequel, the state of the nation is not a role to be played. Wouldn't it be interesting, though, to have Erap, Ramon "anting-anting" Revilla, Bong "Mr. Pirated-CDs-are-Evil" Revilla, Robert "we need teamplay" Jaworski, and FPJ under a single political banner? Nora AUnor could be their campaigna manager, singing a revised version of "Bagong Bayani", and it would be their banner song. 

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BY THE WAY, World-renowned Tenor singer Luciano Pavarotti will lend his voice to the fight against world hunger at a concert in Monaco next month. It's just funny how I noticed that a really fat celebrity is doing something for world hunger. 

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UNLIKE THE CUBAN MISSLE CRISIS
(October 4, 2002)

        As tensions rise concerning Iraq and the pending arms inspections conducted by the UN, America is all set for war. It should be a panic thought knowing that they are already anticipating unfavorable results from the UN inspections. George W. ("Dubya") Bush simply does not trust Saddam, and he feels that he should finish "what Daddy didn't finish". Alarming, but it is the US camp which is lighting the fires of conflict. Perhaps they have grown a vengeful side which has made them more aggressive when it comes to the countries that they see as enemies. And is never afraid to pick a fight with the smaller ones who may have that hidden dangerous ace to knock them off their feet. 
        Not too long ago, the paranoia of war was also brewing in the guise of the now-famous Cuban Missile Crisis of October 1962. This piece of history began on October 16, 1962, when Kennedy was given photographic evidence of Soviet-installed medium-range ballistic missiles in Cuba, a mere 90 miles from the U.S. mainland -- weapons that in minutes could hit numerous cities, including Washington. The revelation stunned Kennedy, his advisers, and his cabinet, and set up the chief executive for a flurry of conflicting advice. Hawkish military advisers such as Air Force Gen. Curtis LeMay wanted to go to war. Others, such as Adlai Stevenson, the country's ambassador to the United Nations, urged the two countries to talk. Fortunately, the crisis ended with much diplomacy, and the threat of missile presence in Cuba was over. 
        The attitude of George "Dubya" is a far cry from the wisdom of former US president John F. Kennedy. JFK's attitude is more bent on diplomacy. He has prioritized the idea of avoiding war, rather than seeking out victory through warfare. If the US back then did go to war with the Soviets and Cuba, they knew that they could cause a catastrophe that will do great damage to their societies. It could've have sparked a transition from being a Cold War into an all-out war. 
        Giving Bush credit, he may have a very good reason to bombard Iraq. If he has a very clear evidence that Iraq indeed poses as a threat to the national security of the US, Bush has never gone out with that proof yet. And if this bombarding will push through, how would we definitely know for sure if Saddam, knowing of this imminent offensive unto him, has not readied his own retaliatory forces which may be in place, ready to strike their own way of bringing terror as a reply? America may have the most powerful ordnances and firepower to cast a virtual inferno upon its foes, but Iraq has been tinkering with a far more sadistic weapon, that of chemical warfare. On this arena of show force of weapons, I think it is a far more better idea to resolve through diplomacy. Let me end with a quote. "Great warriors? Wars do not make one great"

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THAT SILLY, FUNNY GLORIA
(November 15, 2002)

        In a dark, nihilistic manner, the propaganda advertisements launched by the Arroyo administration such as that of the "The Good Times are still here" make me chuckle with a dry cough, and smile with a sad hopelessness. When you watch these ads, you could not help but rant in your head "Who the heck are these jerks kidding?!" We all know how rotten the situation of the country has become, yet they still continue airing ads such as these. Ads that desperately mislead us into thinking that the state of the nation is as better as, like, 10 years before, when in fact, it has become worse. We have rising crime rates, 2 militias now declared as "Terrorist Groups", bomb incidents, coup threats, beach resorts and tourist attractions abandoned in fear, an unseen-yet-prominent blockade which wards off tourists (not to mention investors), an imprisoned president which awaits his verdict, opposition parties hiding in shadows and masks, and the government cash reserves running dry with the country's poverty, debt, and inflation. So with all that and more, why are they trying to desperately fool us? Most especially, why does Arroyo still continue with her numerous unnecessary media exposure?
        Whenever I read the national dailies (most especially the Philippines Star), I oftentimes find myself laughing out loud, not because of the jokes in the comic strip page, but because of Lola Glo's silly poses. STAR would most often capture Lola Glo's most ridiculous moments. If you would happen to pass by libraries, maybe you would want to browse through Lola Glo's many ridiculous photo poses in the past STAR issues, (hey man, it's just a hobby!) from her frowning facial expression during her son's wedding, up to her feeding a giraffe, up to that of her surfing in the beachwaves, with her mister on the background who cannot balance himself upright with the surfboard. Wacky is the word. Maybe if I had the time and the insanity enough, I would one day cut out her pictures and make a photo album of her silly poses. I would point out to my great great grandchildren someday, "Look, kids! You're never gonna see THESE photos in the history books now, wouldn't you?" 
        Yes, it is indeed all funny. But after a while, we all realize it is NOT. I cannot believe that the President fancies herself (or allows these) with all this silliness, knowing how seriously battered our nation has become over the course of her ruling period. She may think that showing herself and her hubby on swimming trunks, walking along the beach is sweet, but sweet holy Moses knows that she is the friggin president, and there has to be better things to do than waste their time on a tropical little vacation and letting the people of this nation know that they are living "the life", while people suffer in poverty and oppression around the archipelago. There is a line that goes between personal life and duty. Okay, she does have the right to have that little tropical date, but she lets that personal moment be a part of her duty by letting media into it. I know that we all suspect and have already even come to a conclusion that Arroyo is a president who is trying to be an artista. Well she is dreadfully wrong if she is indeed thinking this way. The way I see it, what Lola Glo has been doing is like eating a hearty ham and chicken meal in front of homeless hungry begging aetas. 
        Arroyo has time and again asked for the nation to be united and by sympathetic, asking for respect as a self-proclaimed "Ina ng Bayan". Yet she herself has been putting inconsistencies in her own dignity. She herself is endangering that respect that she asks from the people. Why did she even bother to answer that question about her sex life? She should have scolded that reporter, there are more important matters that a strong president must discuss, and should not bother to stoop down to petty trivialism. 
        Yes, it is indeed oftentimes funny how Lola Glo makes her silly little actuations of errors, inconsistencies, shortcomings, and flaws. But in the long run, these are jokes that causes a great loss upon us all. 

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THE WRONG ARMS STRUGGLE

        As we all might now by now, there is an alert against attacks by communist insurgents. The Military and the Police are intensifying their anti-insurgency campaign, as the New People's Army have launched massive offensive strikes over the past few weeks. It feels like the 1980s all over again. If there is a resurgence of this kind of crisis, it is only a clear indication that the Philippines hasn't progressed at all. Instead of growing from our crises, here comes an old forgotten one which has now caused a pain in the government's ass again. 
        Arms Struggle. When do people decide to take up arms and become rebels? In many cases, people take up arms for the wrong causes and the wrong reasons. Sometimes, people just make lame excuses to take up arms. Poverty and Misery are common causes but they can be petty alibis too. In arms struggle such as that of the NPA, poverty and ideological causes sometimes make us understand why they resort to bloody conflict. But sometimes, there will always be the ones who disregard the ideology and are in it for selfish banditry. There will always be the ones who get into arms struggle because they believe it is easier to raid for ration than it is to work for a decent meal. The same goes out to other rebel groups such as the MILF. Even the ones in the government's side of the military and the police who abuse their jobs by sticking their guns to innocent civilians to collect "extra" cash. Recently, Metro Manila is going through a series of tumultuous trials in solving the police-corruption issue. The government should not let this stain grow. 
        Many times, twisted armed-conflict is the fault of many civilians. Commonly, powerful people like the Landlords, Hacienderos, and aristocrats who own vast properties oftentimes abuse their workers, even to the point of degrading them into slaves. This is most commonly true especially during the 1970s that is why communism escalated in an overwhelming rate during that time. But the situation now isn't like during the iron-fist reign of the Marcos regime. Things can be brought to simmer down and lessen armed conflict.
        We are living in a time when the poverty of the nation has reached a fragile level. We cannot afford to face the crisis of arms struggle when we are even too weak to cure our ails on economy. We have already suffered a lot during the terror of the Abu Sayaff, our wounds are still fresh. If the NPA continue to worsen their arms struggle, they will only mean greater damage to the nation. It is unpatriotic to add to the ails of the nation now. 

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POLITICAL
(December 2, 2002)

        People like Mao Ze Dhong and Adolf Hitler may have been the most notorious names in history. They may have been responsible for many deaths. But in their time, they had vision. They were political leaders who have wielded a country into a state of greatness. In their earlier days, they have had that drive and that devotion to their motherland, that desire that their country shall outshine the grandeur of Rome. And indeed, they have become leaders who command the fanatical loyalty of their countrymen. 
        I think that's what our politicians lack. That devotion, that love, that patriotism. It seems that many politicians only have that desire to have a fat swiss account, a mansion in Ayala Alabang, a number of shiny luxury vehicle, and maybe able to purchase FHM models for a night or two. 
When one wants to be a tycoon, one struggles in politics, where he can obtain power, which will be the tool to obtain much wealth. Politicians have the control of the police, the law, and the system. With this, he can abuse and manipulate the inflow of money that comes from the people. 
What do they do in the arena of running the nation? Perhaps make a bill to make their businesses flow, make bills to cover their illegal activities, and make bills to please the people. Pleasing the people means investing for voters. The cycle goes on and on so that they remain in power. If they would have THAT charisma, maybe they'd run for president. Then what? Then travel the globe, eliminate the foes, sell the country to the yanks, and go surfing with your spouse and let the media watch. 
        It seems nobody wants to be a leader so that they have that desire to make the Philippines the next Rome anymore. I know it seems delusional. But long ago, Germany was just a small country in the European map, till Hitler made the world know the meaning of fear. Long ago, Japan was bombed by the most devastating weapons ever used. Hiroshima and Nagasaki was in ashes, Japan was ravaged. But it never stopped them from becoming one of (if not THE) Asia's most progressive countries. Everybody is whining about the Philippines becoming hopeless. I admit, we are in a state which is almost dead. But to be a politician is to shut up from all the whining, from all the conflict, and from all the selfishness, and just do their jobs doing things good for the nation as they go along the way. 
        If you want to be a politician, be a politician for the right reasons. Be a politician and expect to be bribed, coerced, influenced, forced, and tempted. And with all these circumstances presented, live through it with only the devotion to being in service in mind. Never let the devotion run out. This will determine your guts. If you live through it, and you lost because of the bribed and misguided masses, at least you have had that victory in yourself. The victory that all you wanted and all you did was serve the country. You may lose someday, but you are a hero. Not like the pigs who will survive the years through bribery, abuse, and showbiz-face value. 

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POLI-TIKAL

        Over the years, the word POLITICS have become associated bad connotations. To be a politician has become associated with selfishness, corruption, abuse, and sitting on your office consuming as much pork from the people and making buttocks fat. Most of all, politics have become a word associated with conflicts and deceit. Partisan wars. Sometimes, it is difficult to say when one is becoming a partisan or just plainly honest. With honesty, many of us are just concerned by what the future of the nation will be. Sometimes, we have to be honest so that pigs never could be in power. And in my opinion, some politicians ARE pigs. 

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        What's worse than an idle politician? An idle politician who, at the height of the nation's crisis, goes into an obvious self-gratifying campaign via a commercial for an alcoholic drink! Ah… Mr. Ping and his brandy commercial!. 
        The commercial goes, advertising the whiskey, and at the same time, it desperately tries to hail Mr. Ping as a great, reliable "man for all seasons"-type of person. SUS! Aside from being a pain in the ass of the president, has he really even done any real good during his incumbency aside from representing his political party in the government? Ows…why don't anybody tell me if this guy REALLY did something good ever since he got his position! In fact, a plethora of rumors have come out exposing this rich dude's great wealth and the question upon where and how did he get to acquire that much money. If he was SO good and reliable to the people as what the commercial describes, why don't he let some of his fat cash go to charity work? Or even house the homeless poor in his exquisite pink mansion in Ayala Alabang where the going rates start at P 20 million! 
        Sarcastically hilarious, to think that the presidential elections is still too distant for lousy campaigns to commence. The commercial has a nasty good timing to be aired during this season when politicians are fighting each other with exposing accusations. The Perez-Jimenez conflict makes him look like Mr. Clean to idiotic voters who easily get suckered by campaign media.
 
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        Here's another politician many would love to hate: Mr. Agimat Boy, Bong Revilla. Ever wonder why he's so concerned and enraged over the millions who love the pirated CD business? It's because he is one of the (if not THE) wealthiest and most active film producer of the country. Yes, his campaign seems not too gallant at all, after all, we all have to protect our own business sometimes. 
        This overweight action star turned politician had the balls to "betray" his bestfriends (The Estradas) during the Edsa Dos. It's a nice touch to take side with the masses at the last minute of the battle when everybody knows which side would win. And now more recently, it is quite appropriate to reconcile with old friends ESPECIALLY since 2004 is fast approaching. This would definitely give him the crown of a Christ-like image, following the principle of "love thy enemies" and "forgive thy enemies". I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. "Buy-on" would run for the senate like his actively-dormant father. I guess his Boy Scout medal for his quest to annihilate piracy would make him think he's worthy enough for the post. 

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        Last but not the least; we have another action-star who would surely make lousy action if he would ever become the president of this nation: Ang Panday FPJ. Among his fellow actors and actresses, he is indeed a Mr. Clean. So far, he has no scandals to stain him and make him look like a cruel, wicked man. Maybe the only crime I could see in him is making those overly-ridiculous action films where he fights 5 battalions of ugly hoodlums with his trusty caliber.45 pistol (isang bala per bad guy). 
        The point is, though, that he knows nothing about running the nation. And it is clear that the wicked people behind him are only convincing him to run for office solely because of his potential to capture the votes of the misguided masses. Okay, he's a good guy, but the nation is in a complicated state of flooding problems. FPJ has no potential to fix it. If we have a car that doesn't run and needs a serious repair job, we don't call the Pope to fix it, we call a mechanic. 

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WATUSI & TOROTOT
(December 13, 2002)

        Watusi ban…Are you serious? Perhaps another new reason to hate Bin Laden, (the late?) Abu Sabaya, the Jemah Islamiyaah, and George W. Bush is the banning of our PALUPOK this holiday season. It is only later that I realized that some of the cargo raids which unveiled gunpowder and other pyro ingredients may have been merely just for the pyrotechnic factories. Sure, we cannot deny that most of the raided cargo may have suspiciously been for notorious individuals. Too bad the world has evolved into this state of paranoia. We indeed have to be careful of the people who possess these chemicals. I do think the banning of palupok this holiday sensible may have enough sense into it. But at the same time, Filipinos will indeed go through with the tradition of having firecrackers, from the watusi, up to the dalugdogs and the kamaras. Illegal or not, pinoys everywhere will be in search of a good talabid or sinturon ni hudas, as the tagalogs would call it. Honestly, it would be a bore if pinoys everywhere would only have pasirit on their homes and torotots. Well, a torotot is good, depending on how it is blown. 
        Too bad, it is going to be an extra burden for our policemen, since they would be scratching their heads in how they would implement such law that would hinder pinoys to go through what is already tradition. I think they should focus their attention instead on those individuals who use their guns to "make revelry noise". Those are far more dangerous than firecrackers. Aside from that, they should be alert on people who do not know how to handle their firecrackers responsibly. Sometimes, there are these gagos who would blow their firecrackers on streets and footwalks at a certain time and circumstance when pedestrians pass by. This is a serious accident waiting to happen. While the other dangers include merely of absent-minded drunkards who would hold on to the firecracker too long till it explodes along with their fingers in their hand. Torotot or trianggulo, people have to be careful this holiday season that they don't get blown too much, it might lead to deafness too, you know. 

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        But before the watusis begin their noise, first, we should be prepare to hear the noise of our hijados and hijadas for it is time that they raid their maninoys and maninays for gifts, and shall we say, aguinaldos. If you haven't began your Christmas shopping, I suggest you do it now. You don't want to spend ALL your Christmas bonus all at once in the same time just for gifts, do you? Next time, you should gradually start buying gifts as early as mid-November to avoid the loss of spending thousands at just one shopping wave. 
        I wonder what Christmas television special shall we see Lola Glo this time. Shall she have a televised Noche Buena dinner? I wonder if Nani and Mark will have a yuletide reconciliation, considering that Mark has been singing "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause" with a mixture of anger and malice. Which brings me to the question, was that beso-beso incident just an exercise of Christmas tradition? Or was it an advance Lenten commemoration of Judas' kiss? Hey, cmon! You people are just malicious, it's just a harmless kiss! People who focused their attention on that kiss are beginning to sound like showbiz-chika people. No wonder our politics is closely related to showbiz…. Puro Intriga and Chika!

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