"Riley," Buffy grimaced, still stunned, staring at her ex-husband warily. "What...that is...what are you doing here?"

  He appeared oblivious to her discomfort, saying quietly, "I had to see you. Molly and I...it's not working out and I--"

  "Buffy?" a voice came from the living room. "Who is it?"

  Buffy whirled to look at Riley guiltily, whose face reddened.

  "Who is that?"

  She shrugged, trying to distract him. "That's not the issue...I...we divorced Riley. And that means no visits in the middle of the night, okay? Especially on Christmas! I mean, geez...you have a wife now. That's not me. She's who you should be with."

  He waved his hand impatiently, and growled, "Is that him in there Buffy?"

  "To what him are you referring?" she asked, although she knew full well.

  "Angel," Riley said angrily. "God, you've shacked up with him again haven't you?"

  "That'd be between me and Buffy," a deadly calm voice said from behind them, and Buffy cringed. Angel walked up the hallway and stood beside his lover.

  Riley watched the scene with disbelief etched all over his features, his throat working as he tried to choke out the words. "After all this time...you still love him? Well, do you Buffy?"

  Buffy's eyes filled with tears. She took a step away from Angel, and lay her hand on her exes arm. "No, Riley...let's go in the hall and talk okay?"

  Even without being next to him, Buffy could feel Angel flinch, feel his utter and complete despair at her words. But she couldn't take them back. Not in front of Riley. She had her reasons.

  Riley nodded, and Buffy followed him out in the hall, closing the door behind her without looking at Angel, who she knew still stood there. Leading Riley far down the hall to a common area with some couches, she sat him down and then said, "Okay, what happened with Molly?"

  His face tightened as he said, "I don't know. I think she might be having an affair with Fred...you know, Fred at the--"

  "Saw Mill," she finished, "Yeah, I remember. Why do you think that?"

  "I don't know...I guess she just seems to be pulling away from me and I don't understand why."

  Buffy sighed. "Well, I still don't get why you're here Riley. We made the agreement that it would be too hard for you remember?"

  "I know," he muttered. "Have you told him yet? Why you left me?"

  Buffy looked down. "No...it would just make him feel guilty."

  "He deserves it," Riley sneered, "He deserves to feel like shit for what he did to us..."

  "He didn't do anything to us," she insisted, running an unsteady hand through her long blonde hair. "You know that. It was me...and you know how sorry I am. I've told you how sorry I am, but I can't stop what I feel Riley...thats just not who I am. I'm never gonna change."

  Smiling sadly, he touched her cheek. "I know. And I wish I could hate you for it, but I still can't."

  "Please," she urged, "go home Riley. Talk to Molly, I'm sure it was just your insecurities shadowing your judgement. Listen to what she has to say, and I'm sure the name Fred will never enter into it."

  "Okay," he agreed wearily. "Okay."

  "I'll see ya," she murmured, her brain already preoccupied as they hugged quickly and he made for the elevator, quickly disappearing from sight.

  Padding back to her apartment, she opened the door and stepped inside, calling softly, "Angel?"

  Going through to the living room, she saw the note. It was pinned to a present under the Christmas tree. Her hand going to her mouth, her eyes flooding with tears, she picked up the note, opening it slowly.

Buffy,

   I don't know what to say, or even what words would be eloquent right now.

All I know is that I just heard you say that you don't love me. Whatever your reasons for saying that, one thing is clear...I can't be with you right now. I'm going away, I don't know where yet. Being in the same room with you would be too hard right now, and I don't want to do anything I would regret.

  Angel

PS: Your Christmas present from me is under the tree...I never told you this, but among my people, it was considered a wedding ring. You should still have it, even though I'm not there to give it to you

  Ignoring the tears that streamed down her cheeks, Buffy bent down and unwrapped the gift gingerly. Lying inside a small box on a bed of velvet, was the Claddagh ring. She lifted it out, and saw that there was an inscription on the inside.

Always...

"Angel.." she whispered, sinking to the floor and holding the ring against her heart, Buffy wept. Angel was gone...

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