After a while, we'd gotten our coffees and some donuts, we went back into the car to await the arrival of the midway manager. It was a long wait, as he had a tendency to take his sweet time about everything. He honestly didn't give a damn how long people were made to wait, he wasn't going to show up anywhere one second before he absolutely had to.

The carnival would be set up in the parking lot of the shopping center, near a now vacant furniture store where there was ample space. None of the trailers had arrived yet, including the cookshack and the bunkhouse. It looked to me that it would be a long day of doing nothing.

I stared out the window of the car, just looking over this desolate landscape that would, within a few hours, become a carnival lot. Sean was sleeping, and Greg and Eric had long since gotten out and wandered around the parking lot, talking to the other people who had shown up in the time we'd been there. It was raining, cold, and pretty miserable.

By nine a.m., I was bored to tears. I had managed to drift in and out of sleep while Sean snored away next to me in the driver's seat. Next thing I know, Sean is shaking me awake, telling me that Brian had finally arrived.

"He's going to want to have a meeting, Sara," he said. "We should go see what he has to say."

I nodded sleepily, zipped up my coat and got out of the car. We walked over to Brian's trailer, but there was really nothing going on there. However, the bunkhouse and the cookshack had arrived, but both would require some time before either would be available for their various applications. Therefore, we were pretty much on our own until the afternoon.

Sean wanted to drive around town, just to see what Dedham looked like. I had never been here, because it was a little too close to Boston for my liking. So we went and drove around for about an hour, had lunch at McDonald's, then headed back to the lot. Then, all hell broke loose.

Apparently, we should have gotten permission to leave the lot. Brian was more than a little steamed when we met up with him at his trailer. He proceeded to tear Sean and me new assholes, threatening us with getting thrown off the lot, throwing up in our faces all kinds of offenses, real and imagined.

We heard him out without saying anything (which would have been pointless, because I was convinced that Brian was in love with the sound of his own voice), then Sean told him to go ahead and throw us off the lot.

"Then you won't have anyone to run your stupid rides. I don't need the aggravation and the bullshit, all for the princely sum of $275.00 a week."

I shot a panicked glance in Sean's direction. I saw that Sean apparently had his reasons for saying what he'd said. I just hoped it didn't backfire.

"And that means," Sean continued, "that you won't have Sara here, either. You know what she can do with a soldering iron, so if one of the rides has a circuit board problem, she won't be here to bail out your sorry ass. She doesn't live far from here, so should she decided to go home, then she doesn't have to come back to work for you."

Brian went on about our leaving the lot without permission. That was starting to piss me off.

"Now wait a minute, Brian," I said. "There isn't anything going on here at the moment, just a lot of sitting around, being unproductive. Last I checked, we weren't indentured servants that needed the master's okay to leave. If I choose to leave the lot when there is nothing happening, then I'm going to leave. Throw me off the lot if you must, I have a way to get home. And I'll take Scooby with me."

Brian just looked at me like I'd lost my mind and said, "Indentured servants?"

"Slaves, fool!" Sean exclaimed. He rolled his eyes as if to say, I may look stupid, but even I know what indentured servants are.

Brian backed off after that, apparently just getting it. He dismissed us with a wave of his hand, just like the lord of the manor. He truly disgusted me.

When we were out of earshot, Sean let go with his crazy laugh, clearly pleased with himself. "He doesn't want to lose us, so he had no grounds to throw us off the lot," he said.

"I supposed it didn't help that the familiar orange car with the white stripes was missing when he went looking for us," I said. I'd often cursed the Camaro for being so recognizable since I'd been with the Show.

"That's Brian's problem," Sean said. "He was looking for someone to bitch at and our number came up."

"It wasn't that we left the lot, it was because we weren't here when he decided he wanted to talk to us."

"Yep, yep," Sean said.

We went back to where the car was parked, and got our stuff out so we could put it in the bunkhouse when it was ready. Looking over to where it was parked, I saw that some of the maintenance guys were trying to get the power and water hooked up. We walked over there and asked if we could just put our stuff inside, and we got the okay to do so. Then we walked back to the car.

Eric came over and asked what Brian wanted, and Sean related to him what went down. Eric laughed and said that Brain didn't dare mess with us because Sean could clean his clock and I could confuse his pea brain with three-buck words.

"But, shit," Eric said, "if we don't get started soon, I'm going to find a liquor store and get me some Black Velvet."

"I feel ya, bro," Sean said.

Around noon, one o'clock, some rides finally rolled onto the lot. In one corner, there was a tent being set up that I hadn't seen before. Some of the games and food joints were already in place, and I went over to the Dough to see if Val needed any help. She didn't because she was going to go home to New Hampshire that afternoon to take care of some personal business, but would be back the next morning around ten, and to meet up with her then.

Sean was over at the Wheel with Cliff, discussing if they were gong to try and attempt to erect it. The wind had picked up considerably, and there were concerns about it tipping over, because the forecast called for near hurricane force (up to 74 mph) winds to hit overnight. All we needed was another broken Ferris wheel.

I headed back over to the midway, where the High Striker was being set up, and the same concerns were voiced about the overnight forecast: should it be put up and hope the winds weren't that strong, or wait til morning? Andy decided to wait until morning. We'd be opening late on Thursday, so there would still be a whole day and a half to get everything together.

I went back over to the Wheel to get the key to our room from Sean. I wanted to lie down and take a nap. I told Sean I'd leave the door unlocked so he could get inside in case I was sleeping when he got there.

I got inside and laid on the bunk. I felt cold, so I didn't take my coat off. I pulled the thin blanket over me and soon I had fallen asleep.

The wind did blow hard that evening. On top of that, it was raining. To paraphrase my late father, it's not fit for man nor beast out there. Sean and I spent most of the evening in our room at the bunkhouse. My cell phone rang, and was pleasantly surprised when I discovered it was my daughter, Linda, on the other end. She was calling from school, concerned that she was unable to reach me at home. I told her where I'd been, what I was doing and that I was okay. She expressed some surprise at that news. She couldn't believe her mother was working in a carnival, then asked if the carnival would be coming down her way. I said no, that the carnival I was with stayed in New England.

"Well, it's a job, right?" Linda asked.

"Yeah, but it ends in October, then I have to start looking for a 'real' job."

"You're paying the bills, right?"

"Yes, Linda. The bills get paid."

Linda said that she was doing well in school, and had called to tell me she made the Dean's list again. She had gotten a job on the Naval Base working in the Exchange, and a part time job working at the campus library. She asked about her brothers, and I told her they were fine and that they miss her.

We talked for about ten more minutes, then she had to go. I looked over at Sean and realized that he was closer in age to Linda than he was to me.

"What's wrong, Sara?" Sean asked.

"Nothing," I said. "It's just that my oldest is really an adult now. I guess I'm a little sad that she's all grown up."

"You were pretty young when she was born, weren't you?"

"Yeah," I said, "I was nineteen when she was born. She was born in December, and I turned twenty in March."

"I take it she's doing well in college?"

"Yes. She made the Dean's list for the spring semester. She's on scholarship so she has to keep her grades up. She also has two jobs."

"Wow!" Sean said, surprised. "Good grades and two jobs. She's a hard worker, just like her mama."

"Thanks." I said, not sure if that was a compliment or a statement of fact.

Sean then said that he thought I was a good mom, and that he hoped someday that he could be as good a dad. I had seen Sean interacting with the kids who rode his rides, and he seemed to relate to them. Even the young kids he met seemed to feel safe around him. Little kids are non-judgmental, so Sean's tough looks didn't faze them. Their parents were another story.

I hadn't mentioned anything to Sean about some suspicions I'd had. My period was three weeks late. My cycles were thirty-two days on the nose. You could set your watch by it. It had been late before and I wasn't pregnant, usually due to some kind of stress in my life. Maybe it was the stress of working in the carnival that was the culprit, because I hadn't missed any of my pills. Still, I decided that if it didn't come in the next couple of days, I would get a home pregnancy test. The idea of being pregnant now scared me. I didn't know how Sean would react to the news, and I was ill prepared to raise another child. After all, I had no job, I didn't know where my relationship with Sean was going to go after the carnival season was over. I had all these doubts, which didn't help me stay stress free.

I kept my secret to myself. I didn't want to say anything to Sean until I was sure that a pregnancy was a reality.

Sean noticed that I seemed to be deep in thought. He asked if I was still thinking about Linda's phone call, and I told him that was one of the things on my mind. He told me that I thought too much and I needed to relax. I said that, yes I need to relax. It was the thoughts going through my head that was a cause of my chronic insomnia. "I can't seem to turn off my brain when I need to," I said. I had suffered from insomnia for several years, and even had prescription sleep aids to take. I never liked to take them, because I didn't want to become hooked.

Sean put his arms around me. "You can relax with me, baby. Nothing's gonna happen to you with me around."

"I know that, Sean," I said, leaning against him. "And I do relax around you. I just can't sleep sometimes."

"I've had that happen to me, too, Sara," Sean said as he stroked my hair. "Mostly when I'm stressed about something. It happened a lot when I was married."

I said something like "umm hmmm", and I realized that I was sleepy. Maybe I'd get some decent sleep that night. I knew it was still early, but I didn't care. I thought that Sean would go out and drink a few beers with Eric and the other ride jocks, but he decided to stay in. It was raining out, and Sean had just gotten over a virus. He felt no need to risk getting something worse.

We got under the covers and cuddled together. To my consternation, he fell asleep before I did...long before I did.

There was a loud knock at the door the following morning, and someone yelling, "work call! Everyone get up!"

"Awww, fuck," Sean said, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?"

I looked at my watch and saw that it was only eight-thirty. I mentioned this to Sean and he looked confused. "I thought work call was at ten! I was going to get up at nine."

"Either it's someone's idea of a sick joke, or there was a change in plans."

Sean got up and got dressed, then stormed out the door to find out what was going on with the work call deal. Turns out that there was a change, but the change was made that morning, so the only way that everyone was going to find out was to wake everyone up.

Sean groused on his way to the Wheel. The wind had died down during the night (but it was still raining a bit), so he and Cliff were going to put the Wheel up. I wandered over to the Dough, but Val wasn't there yet, nor did I see her Suburban in the parking lot.

There was some activity over by the mystery tent that was set up yesterday over by the Wheel. I went to go check it out. There was a truck with an animal transport trailer hooked up to it. "What's going on here?" I asked Autumn, who had come over to see what was happening as well.

"They're putting animals in this tent," Autumn said. "Something about it wasn't a fair if there weren't any animals, so the sponsor had some animals brought in."

"I see," I said. I didn't know there was a specific difference between a carnival and a fair. I had always thought the two terms were interchangeable. But, I guess not.

Two pigs, two sheep, some geese, ducks, and chickens were offloaded and placed in separate pens. They were provided with food and water, but that's it. It turned out that there would be no one to tend to the animals during their stay.

Before the sheep could be penned in, they escaped and started running down the busy street just steps from the tent. The men who were offloading the animals panicked, then started chasing the sheep down the road.

Sean and Cliff saw what happened and gave chase. Cliff and one of the handlers got to one of the sheep, but the other was about a quarter mile down the street. Sean ran back to the Camaro, got in, started her up and peeled out of the parking lot in pursuit of the wayward sheep.

The other handler was far behind the now freaked out sheep. The animal was running blindly into and out of traffic, nearly causing any number of accidents. There were two Dedham police cars involved, and Sean in the Camaro leading the way. After about twenty minutes, Sean had managed to trap the sheep in an alley. The sheep's response to this entrapment was to charge the car. Sean managed to block the charge (and got a beaut of a bruise for his trouble) and held off the sheep until the cops and the handlers were able to retrieve the animal.

Sean got back into the car and drove it back to the lot. Once he parked the car, he looked it over for damage. Finding none, he came back to the Wheel, where he related to me where he'd gone and what he'd done. He assured me that he and the car were fine, but that the sheep was a little worse for wear. The handlers ended up taking the sheep away, so we only had one sheep for the weekend.

"It's a good thing that stupid sheep didn't cause any accidents, and that you and the car came back in one piece," I said, a little perturbed that Sean used my car to trap the sheep in an alley.

"Yeah," Sean said. "The cops were right behind me, I was sure I was going to get a ticket for driving like a madman after the stupid thing."

Brian had come out by this time (naturally missing all the excitement) and demanded to know what happened and why in the hell we had these stupid animals?

One of the handlers explained that the fair's sponsor requested that there be animals on site to make the event a true fair. When he said that the sheep had escaped and that Show personnel had helped round them up, Brian blew a gasket! He wanted all Show people who were involved to come to the Show Office as soon as humanly possible. Then he stalked off to await the arrival of Sean, Cliff, and a few others.

Sean looked at me, then at Brian's retreating form, then at Cliff. Cliff just looked back at Sean and said one thing: "We're fucked."

"What were we supposed to do, Cliff?" Sean asked. "Let the sheep get killed? Let the sheep cause traffic accidents? We did the right thing, dude."

Cliff said he knew that, but Brian was looking for any excuse to fire some people. Why not him and Sean?

But, they went with the three other ride jocks to the Show office. I thought that Brian was being an asshole, and would probably blow this whole episode totally out of proportion.

Within ten minutes, they were back. They were laughing and joking and carrying on about Brian being a jerk. When Sean told me about the meeting, I knew why they were laughing.

The two Dedham cops were at the meeting, and told Brian that without the help of Show personnel, the sheep may have caused a number of accidents and gotten themselves killed in the process. Then the cops wanted to know who had the permit to have the animals on private property. Brian had no answer for them, as he himself had only learned about the animals' presence after the excitement was already over.

Cliff found it funny that Brian was made to look foolish. "I can not stand Brian! He thinks he's God of Carnivals. It was nice to see him squirm for a change."

With the all the drama over, everyone got back to work. I went back over to the Dough, and Val and Molly were there. They wanted to know what was going on at the red and white striped tent. I explained the whole episode, and they couldn't stop laughing. Val called her husband, Danny, over and had me repeat everything to him.

Soon the whole story was all over the midway. Now that it was over and done with, it was a pretty funny story.

I'd been in a panic the entire day. Work was okay and nothing out of the ordinary happened (except the runaway sheep, of course). I was still stressing about my period being late. I was going to go to the DeMoulas across the parking lot from where we had set up and get a pregnancy test if it didn't come the next day.

I still hadn't said anything to Sean about my suspicions. I didn't want to needlessly upset him. I was upset enough for the both of us. I was seriously beating myself up over this: how could I let this happen, and with a man I'd known only a couple of months? What kind of example was I being to my kids? How was I going to take care of a baby when I could barely take care of myself?

After we were done for the day, I decided that I wanted to drive around for a while. I just needed time alone from everything. But, that wasn't going to happen, because Sean had other plans for the car.

He and Eric were going to a liquor store. Sean wanted to get some Hennessey and Eric wanted his Black Velvet. And, I suspect, there would be beer involved somewhere during the evening.

"Sara, you want anything from the store?" Sean asked me.

I couldn't think of anything along the lines of booze that I really wanted, so I asked him to get me a Pepsi or something. He said he'd get that for me, then he and Eric left.

They were gone for what seemed like forever. At one point, I went out to the doniker and saw the Camaro parked on the other side of the bunkhouse from where it had been parked before Sean left. So, why hadn't Sean come to tell me he was back?

When I was done with my business, I went back to our room. All I had to look forward to was another boring night alone while Sean was getting drunk and doing God knows what. My mind was ticking off all the possibilities of what he might be doing thinking I'd never find out. He'd made some stupid comment about if he hadn't met me, that he would have tried to get together with Autumn, so I wondered if he was cheating on me. If he was, I didn't want to know about it. After all, he was a carnie, that's what was expected of them, wasn't it? If so, what the hell was I still doing here?

Just then, Sean came in the door. He looked like hell. He was drunk, so I knew that trying to talk sense to him would be impossible. He was mumbling something under his breath about "that bitch", and wondered briefly if it was me he was talking about. It turns out, it wasn't me, but given my state of mind, it was the first thing I thought of.

"...why doesn't that fucker keep his bitch in line, and not let her get so wasted that she wants to pick fights with anyone who looks at her cross-eyed..."

"What are you talking about, Sean?" I asked.

"That Amy bitch," Sean spat. "She's running her god damned mouth again."

"Is she drunk?"

"Fuck yeah she's drunk," Sean said, slurring his words slightly; "You know Indians can't hold their liquor."

"You're not exactly sober yourself, Sean," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm not walking around wanting to beat up people either, am I?"

Oh, no, I thought, does she want to go another round with me?

There was a loud knock at the door. Sean opened it, and Amy burst into the room, followed close behind by Jayson, her boyfriend.

"Get out!" I said angrily. "You are not welcome here."

"Who the fuck asked you, bitch?" Amy sneered at me. Her eyes looked glassy and she was unsteady on her feet. I could easily take her out, but I just didn't feel like dealing with her shit.

"C'mon, Amy, let's go," Jayson said as he tried to lead her out of the room. Amy resisted. She was going to have her say, no matter what.

"Least I'm not an ex-con, like this asshole here," she said, nodding over in Sean's direction. If Amy thought she'd shock me with that revelation, she thought wrong. I already knew about that part of Sean's past. "Harvard, he went to jail for beating people up." And why did she insist on calling me "Harvard" or some other Ivy League school?

"No kidding, really, Amy?" I said. "Don't you think he's already told me that?"

"Did he tell you it was last year?"

"It was in 1993," I said. "Nine fuckin' years ago."

Sean was getting pissed off. He told Jayson to get Amy out of our room, or he'd let me push her into the mud again. Jayson just apologized and Sean told him that he needed to keep his woman under control, or someone else would do it for him, and it might not be a pretty picture.

"Fuck you, Scooby! I know all about you. You're a fuckin' thug. You Cajuns are nothing but trouble, that's why we kicked you outta Nova Scotia." Amy was livid. Even drunk, she knew the history of the Acadian expulsion from Canada some two hundred fifty years ago.

"Out!" I said. "I've gotten tired of you and your drunken babbling."

Jayson finally got his boozer girlfriend out of our room and Sean closed and locked the door. He then sat down on the bunk.

"I'm sorry, Sara," he said. "I didn't try harder to keep her out."

"I think we should talk about your state of intoxication, Sean," I said.

"It's that damned Hennessey. I over did it."

No shit. Really, Sean?

Sean then said he was sorry again for disappointing me. All I said was that I thought he should get to bed so he could be ready to work in the morning. My tone of voice was such that even drunk, Sean could not mistake my disappointment.

I got onto the bunk next to him and pulled the covers up around us. I just wanted to fall asleep. As per usual, I was wide awake for hours before I fell asleep.

"Man, I feel like hell..." Sean said when he got up the next morning. I was still half asleep. "Sara?" I heard him say as he was nudging me awake, "How much of an asshole was I being last night?"

Now somewhat awake and able to carry on a coherent conversation, I said, "Why don't you tell me why I had to find out on my own that you had returned from the store, and my car was parked on the opposite site of the bunkhouse?"

"I tried to park where we'd been before, but Brian said that I couldn't and to find somewhere else to park."

"And why didn't you tell me you were back?"

"I went to Eric's room to drink."

I expected that response from Sean. He knew I didn't care to drink and didn't always want to be there when he did.

"Maybe you could have come by and said 'hey Sara, I'm back, and if you need me I'll be in Eric's room'?"

"I wasn't thinkin', Sara."

"I figured that." I said, then, "Look, Sean, I don't begrudge you your fun, but when you tell me you'll be back, I expect you to be back. I don't expect to find out on my own. Just tell me this; you weren't driving the Camaro while you were drinking, were you?"

"No, I didn't start drinking until I got to Eric's room."

Well, at least he didn't put my car in jeopardy during all this nonsense. "Did you get into a fight with Amy while you were drinking, is that why she came to our room?"

"She was dissin' the Cajuns, man..." Sean said. "Said we were nothing but a bunch of thugs and thieves and malcontents."

"And you took that personally?"

"Damn right I did."

"You don't have to fight anyone to defend your heritage, Sean. You're a Cajun, but not all Cajuns are you. You alone don't have to defend the entire Cajun community."

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

"And," I said, "Amy is bad enough when she's sober. Don't ask for her wrath when she's been drinking. You yourself told me that, Sean."

"So I did." He laughed softly. "Maybe I should take my own advice."

We talked for a few more minutes before we went out to the cookshack for breakfast. Sean had mentioned that I seemed a little preoccupied lately, and I told him that I'd had a lot on my mind. That reminded me to pop into DeMoulas after breakfast to pick up a pregnancy test. Lord, I didn't want to be pregnant now...

Val wanted me at the Dough at noon, because she had gone back to New Hampshire the night before and she expected to be back by then. She had taken Molly with her. Since Sean had to be at the Round-up at ten, I had a couple of hours to take care of my business.

I decided not to go to the DeMoulas for the pregnancy test after all, because they all knew me there as a carnie. I took the car and went to the first drugstore or supermarket I could find. I found a Brooks Drugs and went in there. I picked up a few other items along with the test, so it didn't look like I was just coming in for that one thing.

I paid for my purchases (damn, pregnancy tests were expensive!), and then went over to a Dunkin Donuts to get a coffee. While I was there, I went into the rest room to perform the test.

Reading the instructions, I noted that if one line appeared, I wasn't pregnant; two lines meant I was. I took the test stick out of the shrink wrap and followed the instructions. Then I waited. All the while, I was thinking, one I'm not, two I am, one I'm not, two I am, one I'm not, two I am...

(One if by land, two if by sea? Being so close to Boston, the irony wasn't lost on me.)

I almost didn't want to look at the stick after the allotted time. I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them and looked.

One line.

I discarded the test and all the accompanying garbage that came with it, and left the restroom. I got back in the car and drove back to the lot. When I got there, it appeared that all hell had just broken loose.

There was a crowd over by The Wave, so I wandered over there to see what was going on. I asked someone what happened and they told me that someone had gotten hurt and were going to the hospital. I asked if they knew who it was, and they told me they didn't.

I went back to the bunkhouse to get ready for work. Sean had given me the key since he was already working, and I went inside to change. I was just getting ready to leave when Sean burst into the room.

"Sara..." he said breathlessly, "Steve got hurt helping with The Wave, and he needs to go to the hospital. I'm going to take Autumn there. Want to go?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let me tell Val where I'll be. I'll bet Autumn is freakin' right about now."

"She's really upset, Sara," Sean said as we walked to the Dough, only to find that Val and Molly weren't back yet. Val's husband, Danny, was at his game, so I told him to tell Val that I had to take Autumn to the hospital because Steve got hurt. He said he would, then we went over to where Autumn was, still over by The Wave.

"Sara!" Autumn cried when she saw me. "Scooby said you could take me to the hospital to be with Steve."

"Yeah, what hospital is he being taken to?"

"I don't know. One in Boston, I guess."

I went over to the EMT guys and asked where they were going to take Steve. They told me that the closest hospital was the Veteran's Hospital, about five miles from the lot. They'd stabilize him there, then transfer him to Boston General.

"They're taking him to the closest hospital, Autumn," I told her when I walked back to her. "It's the Veteran's Hospital about five or so miles from here."

"Okay," she said, and we went to the car and drove to the hospital. We beat the ambulance there by about three minutes. Once inside the emergency room, Autumn was being told that because she wasn't a family member, that she couldn't see Steve while he was being treated. Autumn was in tears while she was telling me and Sean this, so I went over to the desk to see if there was anything I could say to make them bend the rules a little.

I told the nurse at the desk that Steve's family was out of state, and that Autumn was his girlfriend. She should be allowed to see him once he was stabilized. The nurse seemed undeterred and told me that only family could see the patient.

"She's the closest to family you're going to get," I said. "She's the one who will be contacting his family about the accident. I think they would rather hear the news from someone who is close to him rather than a perfect stranger in a far away hospital."

The nurse said she'd see what she could do, but for the interim, we had to wait.

And, wait is what we did. For close to six hours, we sat in the waiting room, waiting for some word on Steve's condition. Autumn had called Steve's mother in Ohio, told her who she was and that Steve was in a hospital near Boston, Massachusetts. Autumn said that Steve's mother was concerned and thanked Autumn for calling, and to call (collect if necessary) when she heard anything about Steve's condition.

Sean had been getting us drinks and food, but he soon fell asleep in one of the chairs. Autumn remarked that that looked like a great idea, but, "I couldn't fall asleep if I wanted to right now."

"I hear ya, girlfriend," I said.

"I'm glad you and Scooby could come with me. I don't think I could do this alone."

"You'd be surprised what you could do if you really had to, believe me!"

"I feel better that you guys are here."

"That's good, Autumn," I said as I hugged her. "I'm glad that you feel that we could be of some comfort to you."

Autumn was just about to say something when someone called her name. It was a doctor. I'd never known Autumn's last name, so I was surprised when I heard it.

Autumn went to speak with the doctor and I woke Sean up from his nap. "Looks like we're going to find out something, baby," I said. "Autumn's talking to the doctor now."

"I hope Steve's going to be okay."

"Me, too."

After about half an hour, Autumn came back over to where we were. She told us that Steve had a collapsed lung, two broken ribs, and several badly bruised ribs. He was going to be transferred to a hospital in Needham, not far from where we were. He would stay until his bruised ribs were healed and they could tend to his collapsed lung.

"Would the Show pay for that?" I asked.

"I wouldn't think so," Sean said, "but I guess we could ask."

"I don't know how Steve would pay for his hospital stay otherwise," Autumn said. "The doctor gave me some forms for the Show to fill out and send back. He said that Steve might qualify for free or reduced fee care, based on his injuries."

"We can only hope..." I said.

Autumn said that she would be allowed to see Steve for a few minutes, and asked us to wait. We told her we would.

"Maybe I should call Val and let her know what going on here, and when I expect to be back," I said.

"That might be a good idea, just in case Danny didn't say anything," Sean replied.

I went outside to use my cell phone, and noticed that it had begun to rain. Oh, lovely, I thought. I got a hold of Val, and she said that Danny told her why I left, and asked about Steve and how Autumn was holding up. I gave her the news, and she said that she'd see me the next day at noon, and that she wasn't mad at me for pulling a disappearing act. "I always knew you were a good person who cared for her friends," she said, and that made me smile.

I try.

I went back inside and told Sean that everything was fine back at the lot, and that Val wanted me there tomorrow at noon. Sean said that Autumn was still with Steve, but was expected back shortly.

"That will make her feel better and she'll have something to tell Steve's family when she calls them tonight," I said as Sean handed me a Pepsi from the machine behind us.

"If I got hurt on a ride, would you be there for me?" Sean asked out of the blue. I noticed that sad tone in his voice whenever he was down in the dumps.

"Of course I would, Sean," I said. "Just try and keep me away."

Sean said nothing at first. His green eyes were looking at me in a way that made me sad. Knowing his background, I wondered if he always felt like no one cared about him. His divorce probably reinforced those feelings.

"I kinda knew you'd say that," Sean said. "But I wanted to hear it anyway." He then took me into his arms, gave me a bear hug, and told me that he loved me.

After a few more minutes, Autumn came back into the waiting room and told us that Steve was okay for the time being, that he's in a lot of pain, on medication, and felt bad for letting the Show down.

"Aw hell," Sean said; "Fuck the Show. They put him in this position to start with. They knew that people got hurt settin' up that stupid Wave ride. They should have taken more precautions. I'm glad though that Steve is going to be okay."

"Me, too," I said. "It could have been a whole hell of a lot worse that a couple of broken and bruised ribs."

Autumn said she felt better that she got to see Steve, that his prognosis was good, and that he was going to get good care even if it turned out he couldn't pay for it right away.

It was very late when we left the hospital. God only know what Brian would do to us when we returned to the lot. He must have know that someone got hurt and went to the hospital. If he didn't, or if he gave us a bad time about leaving the lot, then he was truly a heartless person who deserved to roast in Hell.

When we got back to the lot, we found that there were a lot of rumors going around about what happened. Everything that idle minds could come up with were thrown out at the three of us as we made our way to the bunkhouse; That Sean was hurt, or I got beat up by Amy, or Autumn got raped and Steve got hurt trying to fight off the assailant. There was even a rumor going around that Sean and I got thrown off the lot for taking Autumn to the hospital.

"The fact of the matter is this," I said to the assembled throng, "Steve was hurt helping assemble the Wave. He is now in the hospital with serious injuries. Scooby and I went with Autumn because she shouldn't have had to sit in the hospital alone waiting for word on Steve's injuries."

As I was saying all this, I kept thinking, do these people think I know everything about what happened? I was sure that there were some things that Autumn didn't tell us about Steve's injuries. If she chose to tell me, or anyone, would be up to her.

Everyone soon went back to whatever they were doing before we arrived. Autumn went to her tent, and Sean and I went back to our room.

Sean wanted to just go to bed, because the excitement and uncertainty of the days events were exhausting. I had to agree, it had been a tense day.

"Sara?" Sean asked after we settled in for the night.

"Yes, Sean?"

He said nothing more. He just kissed me on the forehead and told me he loved me. That same sad tone in his voice was still there. I wondered what was going through his mind. If he wanted to tell me, he would, so I wouldn't push the issue.

We all had our crosses to bear.

Nothing more happened during the rest of the set up. Things were humming along to the status quo, Brian and his ego not withstanding.

The first night of the "fair" opened at six in the evening, and it was a wristband day. The crowds were sparse, as it was still cold, and had been raining off and on. It boggled my mind that anyone would be foolish (or stupid) enough to come out to a carnival in the rain. It further floored me that people brought their children to the carnival in the rain. Were these people looking to get sick? Needless to say, the Dough was pretty busy, but not busy enough to justify three people working. Val let me go for the night after two hours.

I went over to the Round-Up where Sean was working. Working in this case was a lot of standing around getting wet, because no one was riding because of the rain.

"This is so fucked up!" Sean said as I got close enough to hear him. "Why the fuck are we even open? There's no-fucking-one here!"

"I don't think we're going to make any money in this spot," I said. "I can see why some people were calling this spot 'Dead-ham'. It certainly is dead."

"Yeah," Sean said, laughing; "Dead on fuckin' arrival."

And so, the night limped along. Closing was uneventful as well, and we all got to bed early. Sleep, however, was not always swift in coming. There were few people still awake at one in the morning.

Sean wasn't one of them. He'd been asleep from almost the time his head hit the non-existent pillow (we were using a small duffel bag filled with some of Sean's old tshirts). I, on the other had, was still wide awake. Not even the sound of the rain falling on the roof of the bunkhouse lulled me into dreamland. And, since the walls in the bunkhouse were paper-thin, I could hear the conversations going on in the rooms on either side of ours. I may as well have been in the same room, the conversations were that clear.

Amy and Jayson were in the room on our right, which is where Eric and a ride jock named Dale were. Dale was bitching because he was trying to sleep, and Amy told him that if he didn't like it, to leave. Therein, a argument ensued. Amy, I gathered, was drunk again, and Jayson wasn't doing much to stop her tirades.

Just then, someone over there hit the wall with something, which woke Sean up, and he wasn't in a good mood. "What the fuck, man..." he grumbled as he picked up a shoe and hit the wall with it to shut the people next door up.

Someone then banged on our door so hard I thought they were going to knock it down. Sean answered it to see Dale on the other side.

"What the hell, Scooby? What's crawled up your ass and died?"

"You guys fuckin' woke us up with your god damned banging on the walls." Sean didn't know that I hadn't been to sleep, so I didn't say anything.

"Well I was tryin' to sleep and that bitch Amy started ordering everyone around. She was tryin' to kick me outta my own room!"

Sean just sighed disgustedly. Although his back was to me, I could almost see him rolling his eyes. "If it's your room, bro, kick the ho out. She has no say in anything."

I could hear Amy fussing outside, and I knew that Jayson was trying to get her to leave the bunk house and go back to their trailer. She was still bitching at someone about something. Haley finally poked her head out of room and told Amy to shut the fuck up, that there were people trying to sleep and she's gone and woken everyone up.

"Fuck you, bitch!" Amy spat out as Jayson finally got the upper hand and literally dragged her away.

Sean then closed the door and got back on the bunk. He was still grumbling about Amy, Jayson, and why the hell hasn't the Show fired her ass yet?

"Just another exciting night in Carnyville," I said sleepily. "C'mon back to bed, baby."

Work call was at nine. At eight-thirty, someone banged on the door yelling, "Work call in thirty minutes! Get yo' asses outta bed!"

"Aw shit," Sean said. "Why the fuck do they have to do that? I'm fuckin' awake already!"

I was already up and getting dressed. I had managed to get up an hour earlier and get in a shower before everyone else got the same idea. Sean just noticed that my hair was wet.

"Yeah, I grabbed a shower."

"I shoulda gotten one, too," he said. "Next time you do that, wake me up, okay babe?"

"If I'm coherent enough, I will."

We got our act together and stumbled out the door. It was still raining. Lord will this rain ever stop?

The answer to that was "NO". It was raining for the majority of the day, but we still had to get out there and get wet and be miserable. Luckily, I was inside the Dough most of that time, so it didn't faze me as much.

By the time we opened at six, it was still raining, but not enough to consider not opening. I was still amazed that people actually came out to willingly get wet. They even rode on the rides and played the games while they were getting wet and courting pneumonia.

The Dough was busy. Everyone wanted to get something warm after being out in the rain. We had started selling apple cider, and we could barely keep up with the demand.

"It certainly picked a great time to rain for days upon end," Molly remarked. "I hope that we can close early."

"Don't count on it," Val said. "As long as people are dumb enough to come out in the rain, then we are obligated to remain open until eleven p.m."

I was pouring and serving cider like there was no tomorrow. Occasionally, someone ordered some fried dough, and all in all, we had a good night. I was glad to see the fair close at eleven. The next day, Saturday, we'd be open from ten in the morning to eleven at night. Rain not withstanding.

As I walked back towards the bunkhouse, I ran into Sean. He was soaked! He was wearing a relatively thick sweatshirt, but his teeth were chattering and all he wanted was some Hennessey to warm up.

"You have some?" I asked.

"Yeah, I bought two bottles the other night," he said. "I'll drink it in our room. You want some?"

"Nah...I'm good."

We went into our room and got ready for bed. Sean wasn't going anywhere tonight. He just wanted his Hennessey, his woman, and his pillow.

I could live with that.

Rain danced on the roof of the bunkhouse as I lay awake. It was close to daybreak and I was having trouble falling back to sleep after a trip to the doniker. Sean snored away next to me, oblivious to my being awake. I went over all the things I had to do that day. It was nearing the end of the month, and I needed to pay some bills.

I was getting physically exhausted working for the carnival. I'd never worked so hard in my entire life. That combined with my insomnia was taking its toll on me. I thought there for a while that I was finally getting used to it, but it just delayed the inevitable. I would be a wreck before the end of Topsfield, which was our last spot. It would also be the longest spot during my tenure. We would head out that way when we were done here in Dedham. The Topsfield Fair was the longest continuously running fair in the United States, having been instituted in 1818.

Topsfield was in Essex County, the same county where my home in Lawrence was located. It was about twenty-five minutes from the apartment, so if I needed to get home for some reason, I wouldn't have a long drive. As I lay there on the bunk, it was rather tempting to just bail out right there. I knew I wouldn't though. If I could make it through the two weeks of Topsfield, then I was stronger than I thought I was.

Sean was banking on getting his season-end bonus and buying a car. As much as he loved driving the Camaro, he knew it was still my car, and I wanted to keep it in decent condition. We had discussed entering it into at least one car show after the New Year.

I glanced over at the little clock that Sean had recently acquired and saw that it was nearly five in the morning. I had to get some sleep, or I would be worthless all day.

The morning was like every other morning in the last couple of months. Get up, get dressed, hustle out the door and get to work call, and maybe, we might get some time to inhale breakfast before the day gets underway. We were all looking forward to getting out of Dedham and through Topsfield, and then the winter, when I'd finally get a chance to relax.

It felt like winter now. It was wet, rainy, and cold as hell. Who in the hell, with half a brain, would come out to a fair in this weather? Answer was, lots of people.

I reported in at the Dough and got to work getting it ready to open at ten. Val was out getting supplies, and Molly was resting. She was due in the early part of December, and she was starting to tire easily. She'd come over and work just before opening. And I really didn't mind working alone for an hour or so. I had the routine down pat now. I was going to miss these guys at the end of the season.

I could see Sean over at the Round-Up, doing the daily inspection. There was some commotion over by the Century Wheel. I thought, what the fuck is wrong with it now?

As I would later find out, there was plenty wrong with it. And, since it was Unit 2's Wheel, they had decided that it would be sold at the end of the season, but if it was in need of repairs now, then they'd take it away. There were going to be at least two Wheels at Topsfield, so one missing wasn't going to matter as much.

As it got closer to opening, the weather was getting progressively worse.

"Will we still open under these conditions?" I asked Val.

"That's up to Brian and management, Sara," Val said. "If it were up to me, I'd leave right now."

I laughed and agreed. The rain was coming down in sheets, and everyone was getting drenched. Off to my right, where the gate was, I could see people waiting to get onto the midway. These people were insane!

Just as quickly as it began, the rain stopped. We would open on time after all.

The sun even came out for a short time in the late afternoon. As it was becoming evening, it was getting colder, and around nine, it began to rain again, and it wasn't going to let up anytime soon. However, we still closed at eleven. As we were closing up the Dough for the night, Val was taking out the day's receipts, and shook her head disappointedly. Molly and I just looked at each other. We knew that look. We didn't do well today.

"We'll have to kick ass in tomorrow, guys," Val said. "After paying you guys and deducting expenses, I'll be lucky to have a profit. It'd be nice if they took Dedham off our schedule next season. We've never done well here."

"Topsfield is a much better venue," Molly said. "Two weeks there will make a big difference in our bottom line."

"Let's hope so," Val said.

After we were done cleaning up for the night, Val cut us loose and I headed over to the Round-Up. Sean was grumbling about something.

"What's up?" I asked.

"It sucked today, Sara."

"I know, we didn't do squat at the Dough today."

"We shouldn't have opened today," Sean said. "People who come out in this mess are crazy!"

"Tomorrow's the last day, then we go to Topsfield. It's bound to be better there," I said.

"God, I hope so," Sean said. We started back toward the bunkhouse.

The cookshack was closed, Paul having closed up earlier in the evening when it started raining again. Sean groused about that.

"We could go to Mickey D's," I said. The drive thru at McDonald's was open later than the restaurant itself in most places.

"Nah, I don't wanna go out tonight," Sean said. "I just want to chill in the room with you."

I shivered and said I was already well chilled, thank you, and Sean laughed.

Next morning, I stepped outside to go to the doniker, and saw that the storm was clearing out. Maybe, just maybe, it will be a good day. And, as it was the last day, so it would be a short day. One more spot to go, then Sean would get his bonus and we could go home.

The crowds were good today. I couldn't help but wonder why people came out when it was raining cats and dogs, when this was the best day weather-wise. It was cold, but it wasn't raining, and that's all any of us cared about.

Sean had bought us sweatshirts with the Show's logo on it the first day, when we were still setting up, and those pretty much kept us warm. Once a sweatshirt gets soaked, like they did yesterday, then it's just another wet, uncomfortable garment.

My being inside the Dough, I didn't get wet. Much. I was the one who went out for ice and other supplies when we ran low, so I got my share of rain on my head.

Today, everything was dry and cool. There were still puddles on the ground, which kids loved to jump in. There was one right by the Round-up, where Sean was working, and some eight or nine year old kid jumped in it and Sean got wet. The parents apologized profusely, and Sean was gracious. He told them that it'd been raining all weekend, so a little more water wasn't going to hurt.

I was walking up towards the Round-up when all this was happening, and I was impressed by Sean's behavior. Most people would have been pissed by getting splashed, but Sean handled it well.

It seemed that the day went by fast. Soon we were cleaning up in the Dough and getting the trailer ready to travel. It was nearly nine-thirty when we were done with our chores. Val paid me and told me she'd see me in Topsfield in a couple of days. I went off to where the car was parked and saw that Sean had already packed the trunk with our stuff. I knew that Sean probably wouldn't get done for a couple of hours or more, so I had a long wait ahead of me.

I thought about going somewhere to get something to eat. There was an Uno's across the street, and I walked over there and got some burgers for Sean and me. Then I went over to the Flying Bobs, where he was helping disassemble it, and gave Sean his burger.

"Damn, girl, you read my mind!" He was appreciative.

"I thought you might be hungry," I said. "I was getting something for myself, and decided to get you something."

"Yeah, we were just talking about getting something after we were done here," Sean said as he ate; "But we don't know when that will be." The Bobs was the one ride that took the longest to take apart, and it was about half disassembled now. They would still be a while.

"I'll go wait in the car, then," I said. I turned and walked toward the Camaro.

"Sara..."

I turned to Sean's voice; "Yes?"

"I love you. I'll be done soon, baby, okay?"

"Okay."

I had only been in the car about an hour when Sean tapped on the window. I unlocked the door and Sean slipped into the passenger's seat.

"You done already?"

"Yeah. They only needed me for the heavy stuff."

"We takin' anyone to Topsfield?" We hadn't jumped yet without a load of people in the backseat.

"Eric, and maybe Brucie, if he can't get a ride with Eddie and Haley." Sean slumped down into the seat.

"Tired, babe?" I asked.

"You know it. I'd rather just get going now, than wait for Eric to get done on the Bobs."

"We gotta wait for Brian to give the word to jump, don't we?"

"Yeah," Sean said. "It'll be a while."

We were resigned to wait there in the car for a while to come. Might as well get some sleep, I thought. Sean was already snoring away. Lord, I envied his ability to fall asleep at the drop of a hat!

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