WELCOME TO A STRESS-FREE LIFE !!

Most of us have had so many occasions in our life when we have been under so much pressure. This article tells you all about how Understanding, Compassion, Detachment and Egoism, Possessiveness play an important role in stress. And how to deal with it…

Somebody once said, "Stress is a liar. It makes us think that every situation is an emergency!" How true! Leading a stress-free life is easier than you think it is. Yet, if one wants to be free from stress, and tries hard enough, it is actually possible.

Solving Stress :

The ideal approach to the problem of Stress, (or for that matter, to any problem) is to get to the root of it. What are the various factors that cause Stress? Pressures, domestic, official, or financial. True, some of these cannot be avoided. But is Stress an answer to this problem in such a case? Certainly not! If not anything else, by worrying about an inescapable problem that cannot be solved, and spoiling our health in the bargain, we are making things worse for ourselves by adding to the existing problem!
Such problems have to be endured whether we like it or not. The truth is that the typical man spends the first half of his life running after wealth, wasting his health, and then the second half, running after health spending all his wealth!! This way, he is stressed all his life in running after things he does not possess, or desires to possess more of!

We must all try and understand that there are two kinds of problems: solvable and unsolvable. We must accept that we can change only that which is in our power and capacity to change. It is also essential that we develop the grace to accept the problems and stressful situations that cannot be changed as inevitable.

Regarding the solvable problems facing us, psychology and a basic understanding of human nature can help us. Simple as it may seem, we only need to understand the effects of the positive human traits of Compassion and Detachment and the negative attribute of egoism in inter-personal relationships. After all, life is transient, and, as the saying goes, just as we came into this world with nothing, we can't take anything with us when we ultimately leave this world.

Understanding and Compassion

Compassion implies empathy. The capacity of a person to understand, feel and identify with another person's point of view. To put yourself in the shoes of the other person and view matters from their perspective. Compassion is also about kindness and respect for the feelings of other fellow-beings, human and otherwise. Our scriptures abound with narratives of the saathwick behaviour of kings, sages and ordinary mortals. All religions advocate compassion towards others and this goes a long way towards societal harmony. Most of the ills of Society can be traced back to a lack of understanding of the hardships and problems faced by our fellowmen. A helping hand at this juncture can heal much more than just a wound, physical or metaphorical, as it would change, irrevocably, the outlook of the recipient not to mention the mental satisfaction that it imparts to the benefactor. It will be very easy, and shortsighted, not to care about others, but, Man has always been a gregarious creature and mutual co-existence is always welcome. Situations are cyclic and positions tend to get reversed in the course of time. Do unto others as thou wouldst have others do unto you - as the Bible says.

Possessiveness

Man, by nature, is possessive. Possessive, not as in a compulsive way but as in a way that there is reluctance to let go. All through life, Man goes about getting attached to material possessions, people and convictions that, at a certain stage, Man becomes a slave to attachment. And this leads to disappointments, disillusionments and despondence. Greed, or avarice, brings about the downfall of anyone, if it gets out of control. Our scriptures, therefore, lay emphasis on total detachment from worldly things to ensure a happy and a contented life. A disciple once asked Sankaracharya, "I want peace". And the Sankaracharya replied, "Forget the first two words, 'I want', and the third word 'peace', will come by itself". Lead life like a water droplet on a lotus leaf is the analogy that is often quoted. Though the droplet stays on the leaf, it rolls off it without the slightest resistance and this is the quality that Man is advised to inculcate towards a harmonious life. It is the persistence of clinging on to possessions and people that is a major of discontentment and total detachment is the remedy. Detachment towards your loved ones also makes it easier for them to chart out and lead their own lives without feeling guilty or stifled.

Egoism: I ,Me, Myself

Egoism is the feeling of ' I Me Mine '. It is this Aham, as the ego is referred to in Sanskrit, that is the root cause for the attachment that has been spoken about. It is the clash of egos that is the root cause of interpersonal rifts and misunderstandings. It is this egoism - my possessions, my opinions, that causes the friction between persons, not permitting each other to concede to the other person's viewpoint in the mistaken impression that doing so would result in submission to the other's ego. Once a person is able to reach the level of emotional maturity, the capacity to view matters realistically and dispassionately comes automatically and this ensures that the ego does not unnecessarily play a part. To attain this frame of mind, our scriptures highlight the fact that an individual's contribution to the Universe is so insignificant that it would be pompous to feel egoistic of one's achievements.
Let us all ask ourselves this question : However great our accomplishments, what would we have been if it was not for the divine gift of Life? Could we have achieved anything if it was not ordained for us?

God and Man

There is this story set in the future where scientists have discovered how to create life in the laboratory. They feel exultant and immediately call God for a competition. They tell Him, " Dear God, we too can create life from dust, just the way You have done. Shall we see who is a better Creator?" God smiles and agrees. But under one condition - "Bring your own dust."

Focus on the End Result !

Understanding Compassion, Detachment and Egoism can see us through domestic and official problems that involve inter-personal relationships. Seeing other people's viewpoint and effectively getting your point of view across through proper communication will solve most of the problems. More trouble is caused from a lack of understanding rather than from misunderstanding. Giving a clear explanation without unnecessarily losing one's temper definitely helps to further one's case. What we should focus on is the end result - and not just score, driving a point home, if it does not bring us closer to the solution.

Compassion, Detachment and Egoism are interconnected and each has a bearing on the other two. Detachment comes from the absence of ego, as does compassion. Or, conversely, ego hampers detachment and, to a certain extent, compassion. Once the ego is controlled and curtailed, peace and contentment is assured. Welcome to a Stress-free life!