SPEECH DELIVERED AT MOP VAISHNAV COLLEGE (CHENNAI, SOUTH INDIA) AT THE INAUGURATION OF THEIR DISABILITY AWARENESS CAMPAIGN ON 26-08-2003

Good morning, everyone!

I have come not to speak to you, but to talk with you. I am going to talk about mindset and attitude.

I suppose, since I have experienced life both as a normal person as well as one differently abled, I can speak on behalf of both sides.

Till the morning of the 4th of Jan. 2001, I was just like everybody else. Even now, I am just like everybody else - only I no longer have an ankle in my right leg. An accident - while on a morning walk. I fell into a deep pit and the ankle burst out. A year and a half, in and out of hospitals, and half a dozen operations later and a further six months of being completely confined to the bed - leading a totally horizontal life, I learnt to stand again. On my own two feet. I learnt to walk again. First with a walker, then with two crutches and later with just one crutch. At first, taking even a couple of steps seemed an achievement. But today, here I am standing before you - a tribute to God's grace, determination, willpower, unstinting support from family and, of course, the marvel of modern medical breakthroughs.

Of all the 206 odd bones in the human body, the ankle joint is the only bone that CANNOT be replaced. So the joint has been fused using a piece of bone from my own hip. This leg has become shorter, cannot bear as much load as a healthy ankle and cannot move. The doctor who operated on me told me my accident was a rare occurrence. Winning a lottery is also a rare occurrence. But that is enjoyable when it happens. This is where mindset is important. Take good things with the bad with equal poise.

I could have drowned in self-pity. I could have cursed my stars. I could have made life a greater hell to my family - who were, as it is, under great emotional pressure. But, would that have restored my ankle to me? I would have only added to my existing troubles.

The human mind is powerful. More powerful than you imagine. More powerful than you CAN imagine. It is within each of us to harness it. 'Broken in body. Never in spirit', should be our motto.

Perspective. Like they say, in Tamil, about IRU KODUGAL. A line can be made shorter or longer, without touching it, by just drawing another line by its side. If the new line is longer, our line will seem shorter and vice versa. Similarly, any problem, however great it may be, can be made to seem smaller. I could have lost the whole leg. What I lost was just a small bone. The size of a small lemon, maybe? How we take it.

How many of you would love to eat a kilo of Badam Halwa? Free. I say, "Eating a kilo of Badam Halwa is such a problem"… you don't believe me? I have to eat all the halwa by myself? I have to balance it on a spoon, I have to take it to my mouth without spilling even a bit of it on my clothes (Yuck!), chew it, and swallow it … and My God! …so much of sweet at one time -- I feel nauseated …! Perspective.

One thing I have noticed about Life is that when something bad happens, we tend to get depressed. Absolutely no point in thinking about it or brooding over it. What has happened has happened. And nothing can change it. At best, we should only make sure that we do not repeat it. After that, what we should think of is what to do next. We have to face it. Come to terms. Anything else will lead to further pressures without lessening the problem. We will only keep adding to it.

Attitude plays a crucial part. The complainer can always find something to whine about. When Opportunity knocks, you can bet he would gripe about the noise. Give him a million dollars in cash and he would complain 'I have to carry it all the way to the bank'. Some people seem to cruise through life as if they did not have any problems. But the fact is: they do not have problems in facing problems.

The moment I fell into the pit in the darkness (it was four and a half feet deep!), I knew I was in deep trouble (pardon the pun!). Even after I was lifted out I willed myself not to look at my leg because I knew that the sight of it would break my resolve. I saw my leg only after three months. When both my daughters rushed to the hospital on hearing about my accident, I told them not to look at my wounded leg. They would be the ones to nurse me through and I did not want them to become downhearted also.

An interesting incident happened at the Emergency Ward. As per their routine, the duty nurse began to take some tests. My BP was being checked. Suddenly her eyes widened and she called out to the senior nurse to come over. She, too, checked the reading and her eyes widened too. They were talking to themselves that perhaps they should bring another apparatus to check my BP. I was, for a moment, surprised! As far as I knew, my BP and sugar levels were always normal! I casually asked her what my reading was. She agitatedly told me 120/80! Now my eyes widened! I asked her 'Isn't that normal?' She said: "That is normal for normal people but not for people in trauma!" Excuse me! Here I was trying to be normal so that it would help the healing process and the last thing I wanted was someone to upset it for me!

Talking about such reactions, I encountered many more such occasions when well-wishers would drop in to see me. I was my normal self, cracking jokes, (don't pull my leg, taking things in my stride), and telling them the worst was over and I hoped to be back in action soon. In all earnest they would start to tell me how, in their family someone had a similar problem and while the doctors were confident and everything seemed to go on well, ultimately the leg had to be amputated! Thank you. It was such an encouraging thought. Even then, I told them, 'Think of how much I can save on cloth for trousers and shoes and socks if that happens!' They call themselves well-wishers … I wonder which 'well' they are wishing. Even for a moment, I do not doubt their sincerity, but the least one can do under such circumstances, if one cannot ease the pain and suffering, at least don't be pessimistic about it and dampen one's resolve.

After I started looking at the world vertically, it did seem unusual. Being confined to bed for almost two years, it felt funny, odd. My wounded leg refused to touch the ground. Once again, it was sheer will-power and my daughters' encouragement - they did not need to even tell me, their approving look each time I succeeded when I tried to stand, and later, when I tried to walk, was such an incentive - and this made me recover.

Today, I am able to walk normally at home without crutches. I need these only when walking on uneven ground or climbing stairs or in crowds... an unexpected jostling could upset my balance.

Of course, I cannot ride a Yezdi like I used to, or, 'Bend it like Beckham' anymore. But I do not consider myself as disabled. At best I would consider myself as having selective mobility. The mindset is important. Why should I feel incomplete? Now that the worst is over, I am looking forward to a fresh lease of life though I do not fancy a regular ten-to-five desk job at an office. I have all the facilities at home to aid my English writing and editing skills - I have written articles on various topics to magazines and I am also good at proofreading. In fact, I had found a mistake even in Time Magazine! If this does not work out my data entry capabilities, hopefully, should keep me productively occupied. I was working for Bank of Baroda for almost thirty-three years when I opted for the Voluntary Retirement Scheme.

When people who are differently abled ask for awareness, what they need is not sympathy or a condescending attitude. They only want you to be aware. In public places, shopping malls, for example. When the steps leading to the mall do not have handrails or if a ramp is not provided, it is creating a handicap for people like me.

I have a visually impaired friend who is an accomplished singer. He has found, quite often when a visually impaired musician does not perform well, the audience takes a patronising attitude and the mediocre rendition is applauded. My friend is infuriated because the sense of sight has nothing to do with singing. It is not as if he had been painting. In fact, most singers close their eyes when signing a mellifluous or a difficult piece. Instrumentalists do not keep constantly peering into their instruments while playing, do they? Where is the room for patronising?

Each and every one of us in this world is differently-abled in some way or the other. A talented painter will make a rotten microbiologist and an internationally acclaimed chef may not be able to sing for nuts. I am a fan of The Beatles. But no way would I have entrusted my wounded leg to them on the operating table. Thank you for your music, but could I have a good Ortho, please?
We must learn to appreciate the positive qualities in each one and try to learn from it. A renowned actor may make a good director and this is because both these fields have something in common. But the disturbing trend these days, especially in politics, is that people are getting swayed by candidates whose capacities or achievements have nothing to do with running the country! And this is a worldwide phenomenon! A glance at the people in the running for the Governor's post in California will prove my point - an actor known for his brawn rather than brain, a publisher of a pornographic magazine, a cabaret dancer, and a former child-star of a successful TV series of yesteryear!

So why segregate people into 'normal' and 'differently-abled' only on the basis of certain criteria? Just as the teacher should help the student, the doctor the patient, the rich the underprivileged, let us help each other - let us understand each other's problems and become aware to their needs. No one needs to patronise the other. In the previous example, the teacher could be the patient visiting the doctor - in one case he is the giver and in the other he is the receiver - each one of us is playing these two roles. What we need is empathy - putting ourselves into the shoes of the other person.

If you ask me, there is a greater need to spread awareness amongst the truly disabled in normal Society - those who can see perfectly well but are blind to the needs of their lesser fortunate brethren; those who can hear perfectly well but are deaf to their pleas; those who can talk but remain speechless on such occasions; those of healthy limbs who neither lift their hands nor take steps to ease their plight and those with minds who don't mind being mindless. We are all co-passengers in Life's journey and let's make it comfortable and enjoyable to all.