~Welcom to #The_Scene_Connection and #The_D/s_Parlors weekly Discussion/Forum. ~First would like to invite you to tune into #RisqueRadio click on this link to connect ~ http://sc3.audiorealm.com:12736/listen.pls ; sit back relax enjoy the discussion and some great music. ~Upcoming events this week: Thursday will be our nightly poetry Evening come in and share your writings and/or enjoy others. Friday sets of our first attempt at an Auction. For more information do !Auction. We will have various Tops and bottoms on the block for sale. Then Saturday evening once everyone piles in we will start of the erotic version of Truth and Dare. ~General Guidelines for the Discussion is: ~State your view with out insulting, flaming, calling of names. Views are welcome and need not be the same but must be presented in a manner that is courteous to all. ~At times you may be asked to hold with a thought that is because it will be addressed shortly or is best left for the end of the presentation in the full discussion area. ~If the room is placed in monitor state please take no offense this is so the presenter can either have control back or address the question at hand. ~Most important enjoy, relax and after come over to #The_Scene_Connection and get hooked up. ~Tonight’s Topic is based on a question many of us have faced at one point or another. Am I normal for wanting to do this? ~The outline of the presentation/discussion will be: ~Definitions ~Intro and Open Floor for 15 minutes starting at top of the list and going around to those who would like to share what they feel/felt when first discovering their desires with in the lifestyle. ~Dominant - submissive relationships are everywhere ~So what about the kinks ~Conclusion ~Open Forum ____________________________________ Definitions: ~D/s, which by the way stands for Dominance/submission ~B&D stands for Bondage and Discipline while S&M stands for Sadism and Masochism. ~Vanilla is a term used by individuals in the BDSM Lifestyle it means sex without control, submission, SM or a fetish role. ~Normal is not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle; conforming to a particular type, standard, or regular pattern; something that occurs naturally Intro and Open Floor for 15 minutes: ~Rather are likes are normal or not is a question we all face when we realize that certain things turn us on or that we are a certain personality. For me this came in a couple of stages. ~First was the life that my ex and I lived - very kinky and I loved it. One of my biggest fears of leaving him was that I would never again experience the lifestyle I had become accustom to both in a submissive role and sexually --- the kinks were great. ~It wasn’t till a couple years later that I actually discovers submission and everything in my life made so much more sense. I no longer felt like a freak but understood parts of my life. ~This understanding also helped me from going from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. ~Now the only question was how to find others like me. ~I would like to take some time and go around the room tell about your experience/feelings as you came into the lifestyle. I would like to talk a little about the Dominant - submissive relationships are everywhere ~For many people, the thought of D/s or BD/SM immediately brings very kinky and erotic images to the imagination. Yes, it can be very kinky. But that is not what the lifestyle is truly all about. ~Most people live in D/s relationships and never know it. ~We all live in a D/s relationship every day of our lives. Parents and children, bosses and employees, president of a local club and the members, our relationship with our significant other are all examples of dominance and submission. I am a Dommie mommy, but very submissive in my relationship, Dommie at work. ~There are many people who enjoy living in the D/s lifestyle relationship even that do not like B&D or S&M play. ~The difference between individuals in a D/s relationship and the so called vanilla individuals is the folks in D/s have come to accept and cherish their roles as a dominant or submissive personality. So are you normal? I would have to say very normal. Ok now for The Kinks - we all have them ~D/s (Dominance/submission.) It is a role that one acts out or is. The kinks come in with B&D (Bondage and Discipline), the various fetishes (Spanking, feet, cbt, wax play, knife play) and S&M (Sadism and Masochism) ~This is one of the areas where most start to feel they are not normal. One will tend to see it as something they shouldn’t feel. ~Let me ask this tho ~ how many really talk about their sex life openly? If you take it back 100 years how often was sex talked about? I ask this because how can one decide it is odd to enjoy something that is bringing them pleasure when no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. ~The best thing that I can state is You are normal for yourself. Meaning, if you are doing things that bring sensations to you that are enjoyable, if you are mentally stimulated by your play, if you are in complete agreement with every part of every scene, then you are doing what is normal for yourself. So why worry about what the Jones like. ~If the Jone’s were to tell you they thought you were abnormal if you didn’t jump into the Grand Canyon would you do it? Noooooppppeeee. So why let them control other parts of your life and tell you what is right for you. Conclusion ~Everyone thinks I'm sick cause I love to watch someone's butt get beaten with a whip. ~I must be a freak for liking spankings; I am weak for giving into the dark side of myself. I am nothing more then a control freak. ~These are all things and more that I have heard and more. Let me leave you with a thought before we open the floor fully. ~ Abnormality only rears its head when you force yourself, or are forced, to engage in activities you do not enjoy or that do not add to your growth. Abnormality destroys; normality nurtures. If you feel nurtured, you are normal. D/s is a very personal thing. ~Be careful not to get caught in the net of comparing yourself to others and thinking that only their play is a representation of 'normal'. Remember, 'to each his own' very much applies here. ~When you are trying to figure out what normal is ask yourself is it normal to want to bunji jump of a bridge, is it normal to want to chase storms, is it normal to want to spend 10 - 12 hours a day or more in a office when you have a family? To some yes this is normal ~ to others it is not. So the only person to define normal for you is you ~ do what you enjoy. ~I would like to open the floor up to some of what your feelings are, experiences and how you have came to accepting the lifestyle is right for you. http://pittsburghleather.org/realize.html http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/sub_normal.php3 http://www.domsub.info/egalitarian.html