[19:26] * Orator changes topic to 'It's Open Discussion Wednesday!! Come discuss "Safety first with Orator and velvety_girl tonite :)......!help is always available, and make sure you read our !rules.'
[19:34] <@Orator> Safe - Sane - Consentual...the three S's of D/s
[19:34] <@Orator> lol
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> lmao
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> s's huh?
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> and hon
[19:34] <@Orator> Yes'm?
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> its consensual
[19:34] <@Orator> Thank you!
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> yvw :D
[19:34] <@Orator> We can spell check each other...
[19:34] <@Orator> lol
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> lol
[19:34] <@Orator> consensual
[19:34] <@Orator> consensual
[19:34] <@Orator> Okay.
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> good luck if youre counting on me
[19:34] <@ange`de`velours> but that one i do know :)
[19:35] <@Orator> :)
[19:36] * @Orator fills a pitcher of water
[19:37] * @Orator takes the water and two sparkly clean glasses to the podeum.
[19:38] * @Orator 's printer buzzes to life as it produces name cards...
[19:38] <@ange`de`velours> oooooooo
[19:38] * @Orator puts a name card on the left side of the podeum for velvety_girl, and one on the right, Orator
[19:39] * @ange`de`velours smiles
[20:47] * velvety`girl looks up.... i made the topic!!!!!!
[20:48] * @Orator 's printer clicks to life as it prints a new namecard for velvety`girl...he replaces the velvety_girl name card with the freshly printed one.
[20:48]  ooops!
[20:48]  i forgot to change it after the show
[20:48] * velvety`girl is now known as velvety_girl
[20:49] * @Orator gets some ice for their sparkling clean glasses and fills the glasses with water, and sets one for each of them on the podium.
[20:49] * velvety_girl smiles softly at Orator... thank You Sir
[20:49] * @Orator gently takes the velvety`girl name card and replaces it with the original velvety_girl name card.
[20:49] * velvety_girl giggles...i'll figure out who i am at some point
[20:50] <@Orator> :)
[20:56] <+LovnMaster> wants a vote to limit fufu to 5 names
[20:56] <@Orator> lol
[20:57]  is she in here?
[20:57] <+LovnMaster> Aizou-afc
[20:57] <@Orator> Aizou-afc
[20:57]  that's fufu?
[20:57] * +Aizou-afc waves :)
[20:57] <+LovnMaster> LOL yup
[20:57] * velvety_girl runs over and hugs Aizou-afc
[20:57] <@heartsown> lol
[20:57] <+Aizou-afc> hugsssssssssssssssssssssssssss :D
[20:58] <+Aizou-afc> ill be fully back in a few :)
[20:58] * velvety_girl adds that to the growing list of names
[20:58] <@Orator> "The many nics of fufu..." Brought to you in living color by, Pinkerton Detectives. Pinkerton...when you really have too many names to count.
[20:58] * velvety_girl giggles
[20:58] <+LovnMaster> ROFLMAO
[20:58] <@heartsown> lol
[20:58] * @Orator chuckles
[20:58] <+LovnMaster> she needs Pinkerton just to tell HER who she IS
[20:58] <+Aizou-afc> bears laughing now Or :P
[20:59] <+Aizou-afc> ohhhh i know who i am ;)
[20:59] <@heartsown> lol
[20:59] <@Orator> Outstanding! HI BEAR!
[20:59] * velvety_girl sits in her chair taking a few much needed breathes to calm her nerves
[21:00] <+Aizou-afc> [22:04] * cummy_bear waves to Orator from the hallway
[21:00] <+Aizou-afc> happy now? LOL
[21:00] <@Orator> lol
[21:00]  hey Bear!!!
[21:00] <@Orator> I missed it bear...lol
[21:00] * +Aizou-afc giggles
[21:01] <@Orator> Okay...
[21:01] <+Aizou-afc> he says hiiiiiiiiiiiii :D
[21:01] <+Aizou-afc> lol
[21:01] <@Orator> It's 10pm here on the east coast.
[21:01] * +Aizou-afc goes back to putting him to bed :)
[21:01] <@Orator> 9pm central.
[21:01]  9pm here central time
[21:02] <@Orator> It's 8am at Casey Station in Antarctica.
[21:02] <@Orator> (It's also -62f there)
[21:02] <@Orator> So...
[21:02] <+Aizou-afc> lol
[21:02] <@Orator> We're here to talk about Safety.
[21:02] * velvety_girl looks at Orator
[21:02] <+LovnMaster> brrrrrrrr
[21:02] * @Orator smiles at velvety_girl
[21:03] * velvety_girl smiles at Orator
[21:03] <@Orator> Safety is all important.
[21:03] * +Aizou-afc snuggles in quietly, as she listens
[21:03] <@Orator> We must all keep our affiars safe, sane, and consensual.
[21:03] <@Orator> (spelling fufu?)
[21:03] <@Orator> Right?
[21:03] <+Aizou-afc> yes :)
[21:03]  Safety can be the difference between life and death.
[21:03] <@Orator> YAY!
[21:03] <+Aizou-afc> affairs
[21:03] <+Aizou-afc> LMAO
[21:03] <@Orator> Dang it.
[21:03] * @southern^shell pulls up a chair
[21:03] <@Orator> Anyway...
[21:04] <@Orator> As velvety_girl states, it can seriously be a matter of life and death.
[21:04] <@Orator> Safety...
[21:04] <@Orator> According to Websters...
[21:04] <@Orator> # The condition of being safe; freedom from danger, risk, or injury.
[21:04] <@Orator> # A device designed to prevent accidents, as a lock on a firearm preventing accidental firing.
[21:05] <@Orator> Safety can be defined in emotional and physical terms.
[21:05] <@Orator> For our forum in general...
[21:05] * wicked`kitty{W} (Hisgift@bondage-hidden-88494760.hsd1.il.comcast.net) has joined #the_d/s_parlor
[21:05] <@fireblade> wicked`kitty{W} Welcome, Thanks for stopping in. Hope you enjoy your stay
[21:05] <@Orator> Hi wicked`kitty{W}! Pull up a chaird.
[21:05] <@Orator> chaird.
[21:06]  good evening :)
[21:06] <@Orator> RRRR
[21:06] <@Orator> Chair.
[21:06] <@heartsown> hello wicked`kitty{W}
[21:06]  thank You
[21:06]  hi wicked`kitty{W} welcome
[21:06] <@Orator> (picks a Cocoa Pebble out from between his R & D keys)
[21:06] <@Orator> Anyway...
[21:06] * velvety_girl smiles
[21:06] <@Orator> We all know of basic safety online.
[21:06] <@Orator> ...not giving our real names...
[21:06] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles and listens
[21:06] <@Orator> ...locations...
[21:06] <@Orator> ...phone numbers...
[21:07] <@Orator> ...emails...
[21:07] <@Orator> Until we're really comfy with someone.
[21:07] * velvety_girl looks at that last one
[21:07] * Aizou-afc is now known as ange`de`velours
[21:07] <@Orator> Oh yes, email can be.
[21:07] <@Orator> For example...
[21:07] <@southern^shell> yes even yahoo or hotmails 
[21:07] <@Orator> I run my own domain.
[21:08] <@Orator> If my email is bob@bob.com, someone can use Internet tools to look up bob.com.
[21:08] <@Orator> Bob.Com's registration information may include street address...phone number...
[21:08] <@Orator> Things that a potential bad-guy can use.
[21:08] <@Orator> And as shell said...
[21:09] <@Orator> Yahoo, AOL, MSN...they all have risks.
[21:09] <@Orator> My personal yahoo profile has my real name and city on it.
[21:09] <@Orator> Were someone to want to look me up, they could.
[21:09]  can't You fake that out though?
[21:09]  oh god, mine has a picture
[21:09] <@Orator> You can indeed wicked`kitty{W}.
[21:09] <@heartsown> that's what i do
[21:09] <@Orator> But, I use mine for some professional references.
[21:10] <@Orator> Or for my R/L friends/family.
[21:10] <@Orator> Some bad guy from bondage.com got my yahoo mail address, they could find me.
[21:10] <@Orator> I'm listed in the phone book.
[21:10] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[21:10] <+Andais> hi, did I miss the beginning?
[21:11] <@Orator> We're just getting started Andais.
[21:11] <+Andais> ok
[21:11] <@Orator> Pull up a chair.
[21:11] <+ange`de`velours> we're discussing emails atm
[21:11] <@Orator> Right now, we're talking about e-mail safety.
[21:11] * +Andais slips in and lays Her lush body across a sofa, gets comfy and grins.
[21:11] <@Orator> But there's more to come, including some real life things that might surprise you.
[21:11] <@Orator> So anyway...
[21:11]  absolutely
[21:11] <@Orator> Email is just one way...and innocent way for most folks...to communicate.
[21:12] <@southern^shell> I can give you all an example 
[21:12] <@Orator> It's also an avenue for baddies to find targets.
[21:12] <@southern^shell> I had a IRC Stalker that got my email 
[21:12] <@Orator> Shelly has an example...go ahead dear.
[21:12] <@southern^shell> via my email he sent a 25 meg file back in dail up days 
[21:12] <@southern^shell> this will kill you 
[21:13] * @Orator turns off his log so he doesn't get the 25mb
[21:13] <@Orator> lol
[21:13] <@southern^shell> not only that he contacted my ISP he told them I was after him and bad bad this and that 
[21:13] <@southern^shell> and he hacked there files 
[21:13] <@southern^shell> and got info on me 
[21:13] <@southern^shell> my address - phone -- billing 
[21:13] <@southern^shell> he knew it all 
[21:13] * @Orator nods
[21:14] <@heartsown> my husband had a online stalker who got his phone number and she started following him around when he went places
[21:14]  omg!!
[21:14] <@southern^shell> all this happened because he has my dsn --- and i can get that off anyone here, and I told him NO
[21:14] * wicked`kitty{W} shudders
[21:14] <@heartsown> and pranked the house over and over
[21:14] <@Orator> It's all too easy to do.
[21:14] <+Andais> dsn?
[21:15] * +ange`de`velours snuggles into her pillows, listening quietly
[21:15] <@Orator> I think she meant DNS.
[21:15] <+Andais> which is?
[21:15]  DNS?
[21:15]  shell, may i ask what the ISP provider did?  they didn't give out your info, right?  he had to hack for it?
[21:15] <@Orator> DNS is a component of the Internet.
[21:16] <@southern^shell> it is basicaly your ISP
[21:16] <+Andais> ah ok
[21:16] <@Orator> It turns names (like bondage.com) into addresses for computers to use.
[21:16] <@southern^shell> do a /whois on yourself
[21:16]  and i can get that on each person in here
[21:16] <@Orator> Type /dns orator
[21:16] <@southern^shell> you will even get your routerip
[21:16] <@Orator> That 68.83.22.135 is the address to my computer.
[21:16] <+ange`de`velours> 1) Short for Domain Name System (or Service or Server), an Internet service that translates domain names into IP addresses. Because domain names are alphabetic, they're easier to remember. The Internet however, is really based on IP addresses. Every time you use a domain name, therefore, a DNS service must translate the name into the corresponding IP address. For example, the domain name www.example.com might t
[21:16] <+ange`de`velours> The DNS system is, in fact, its own network. If one DNS server doesn't know how to translate a particular domain name, it asks another one, and so on, until the correct IP address is returned. 
[21:16] <@Orator> Some baddie could use that to backtrack to my system.
[21:17]  what does the -hidden- part mean?  doesn't that protect somewhat?
[21:17] <+ange`de`velours> that hides that part from others kitty but that isnt fool proff
[21:17] <+ange`de`velours> proof^
[21:17] <@southern^shell> some but if the info is out there for you to see 
[21:17] <@southern^shell> then others can get it 
[21:17] <+Andais> that 68 bit doesn't show on My comp
[21:17] <@Orator> They hide part of the literal address to keep you from having all the details.
[21:18] <@Orator> But if you give a hacker (like me) an email address, soooo much info can be garnered.
[21:18] <@Orator> Not to scare'ya or anything...
[21:19] <@Orator> And I'm the "Obi Wan Kanobi" of hackers...I hack people professionally to help them prevent attacks from bad guys.
[21:19] <@Orator> You get Darth Vader on your tail...
[21:19] <@southern^shell> LOL i need to talk to Orator
[21:19] <@Orator> lol
[21:19] * wicked`kitty{W} grins
[21:19] <@southern^shell> I didn't realize what you did for a liv
[21:19] * +ange`de`velours smiles and hands Or a few more lightsabers
[21:19]  i need to definitely talk to Orator
[21:19] <@Orator> I'm yours anytime southern^shell...
[21:19] * @Orator purrrrrrs
[21:20] <@Orator> So anyway...
[21:20] <@Orator> POINT 1: Keep your private info private.
[21:20] <@Orator> Private info is not just the stuff you'd think...name...address...phone...
[21:20] <@southern^shell> and don't expect your pm's to be private they can be hacked LOL
[21:20] <@Orator> But be careful to whom you give your e-mail.
[21:20]  they can???
[21:20] <@southern^shell> yepper
[21:20] <@Orator> It's possible.
[21:21] <@Orator> Yes'm.
[21:21] * velvety_girl runs down closing all 12pm's
[21:21] <@Orator> lol
[21:21] <@southern^shell> LMAO
[21:21]  is it noticeable if someone has hacked in during a pm ?
[21:21] * +ange`de`velours chuckles
[21:21]  lol velvety
[21:21] <+ange`de`velours> no kitty
[21:21]  dang
[21:21]  sorry Sir
[21:21] <@southern^shell> and one isn't me buttttt i know what you been sayin sis *winks* 
[21:21] <+ange`de`velours> its usually a backdoor set up on your mirc by a dl
[21:21] <@Orator> No reason to worry velvety_girl....someone has to hack your PC to make it happen.
[21:21] <@southern^shell> also cam's 
[21:21]  dang nothing is safe
[21:22]  i have no cam
[21:22]  ah ha ... what if i'm not using mirc? :)
[21:22] <@southern^shell> don't ever think they are safe and only the person you invite can see you 
[21:22] * +Andais very innocently deletes every pm log ever made on Her pc.
[21:22] <@Orator> lol
[21:22] <+ange`de`velours> if you accept files hon, any of them can have a backdoor attatched
[21:22] <@southern^shell> ircle is safer that is an advantage of mac 
[21:22] <@southern^shell> but it is still optainable
[21:22] * velvety_girl blushes deep red at the thought of anyone reading her PM logs
[21:22] <@Orator> Folks...there's no reason to panic
[21:22] <@southern^shell> lol Andais
[21:23] <@Orator> It all goes back to that same good sense.
[21:23] * +ange`de`velours sure isnt panicing.... *looks back her last pm and giggles*
[21:23] <@southern^shell> really honestly --- just use common sense
[21:23] <@Orator> Don't take files from folks you don't know/trust.
[21:23]  absolutely, which i hope most people are using
[21:23] <@southern^shell> specaily Orator
[21:23] <@Orator> Yeah...watch out for that Orator character.
[21:23] <@Orator> He's a bulldog.
[21:23] <+ange`de`velours> chuckles
[21:23] <@Orator> RUFF
[21:23] <@Orator> RUFF
[21:23] * velvety_girl grins up at Orator
[21:24] <@Orator> So...
[21:24] * +ange`de`velours pets Or
[21:24] * @Orator purrrrs
[21:24] * +ange`de`velours chuckles
[21:24] * velvety_girl scratches Orator behind the ear
[21:24]  is there an advantage to cable, dsl or dialup?
[21:24] * @Orator purrrs and thumps his foot
[21:24] * wicked`kitty{W} giggles
[21:24] <@Orator> That's a good question wicked`kitty{W}.
[21:24] <@Orator> And, when you get into an environment like IRC, they're all pretty much the same risk level.
[21:25] <@Orator> On dialup, it's slower.
[21:25] <@Orator> That's the advantage of dialup.
[21:25] <@Orator> You might be able to recognize something wrong, and take action.
[21:25] <+ange`de`velours> that and the dns usually changed each time you connect
[21:25] <@Orator> For folks on DSL/Cable, it can take a fraction of a second for something to go wrong/be downloaded/inserted/whatever.
[21:25] <@Orator> Right, ange`de`velours.
[21:26]  exactly and that's what concerns me
[21:26] <@Orator> For me, that 68.83.22.135 is always my PC's address.
[21:26] <@southern^shell> lol or accedently send your nudes
[21:26] * +ange`de`velours writes that down for later
[21:26] * wicked`kitty{W} chuckles
[21:26] * @Orator purrrrrrrrrrs
[21:26] <@Orator> Anyway.
[21:26] * velvety_girl writes it down and sends Him an email talking all dirty
[21:26] <+LovnMaster> yeah shell I got them all2,369 of em
[21:27] <@Orator> On dial-up, you routinely have different DNS addresses.
[21:27] <@Orator> On cable/dsl you're usually assigned the same each time.
[21:27]  On cable modem, my company allows me to call and change my ISP from time to time
[21:27] <@Orator> That's true about 90% of the time.
[21:27]  cable is static even if i turn it off each night?  .. hasn't paid attention ... sheepish grin
[21:28] <@Orator> Yes, it usually is wicked`kitty{W}.
[21:28] <+ange`de`velours> normally, yes kitty
[21:28] <@southern^shell> cable changes now and then but your router doesn't that it is connected too 
[21:28] <@Orator> And that's cool, velvety_girl.
[21:28] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[21:28]  i usually do that about every 3 months and will definitely first thing in the morning
[21:28] <@Orator> POINT 2: Don't take candy from strangers.
[21:29] * velvety_girl hides her bag of lolipops
[21:29] <@Orator> Always trust your source before you accept a file, or open an e-mail.
[21:29] * @southern^shell snatches them
[21:29] * @Orator pouts
[21:29] <@Orator> I didn't know we had lollipops.
[21:29] * wicked`kitty{W} looks hopeful
[21:29] * velvety_girl grins at southern^shell and snatches the bag back giving her a handful and passes them out to Everyone
[21:29] * +ange`de`velours grins at Or and gets other thoughts before behaving
[21:30] * @Orator purrrrrrrs at ange`de`velours...and velvety_girl....and southern^shell...
[21:30] * @Orator licks his lips
[21:30] <@Orator> ANYWY...
[21:30] <@Orator> ANYWAY...
[21:30] * velvety_girl finally behaves
[21:30] <+ange`de`velours> giggles, now he cant type :D
[21:30] * @Orator puts both hands back on the keyboard
[21:30] <@Orator> So...
[21:31] * wicked`kitty{W} grins
[21:31] <+ange`de`velours> lol
[21:31] * velvety_girl giggles as another thought hits her mind
[21:31] * @Orator purrrrrrrrrrrs to velvety_girl
[21:31] <@Orator> SO...
[21:31] * +ange`de`velours giggles, point one, dont talk to strangers, point two dont take candy from them either :D
[21:31] <@Orator> POINT 1: Keep yourself private.
[21:31] <@Orator> POINT 2: Don't take candy from strangers.
[21:31]  and point 3.. protect your personal information
[21:31] <+ange`de`velours> those too :)
[21:32] <@Orator> Right, velvety_girl.
[21:32] * @southern^shell slips robe on
[21:32] <@Orator> We've covered online safety.
[21:32]  what about "innocent" information .. how much is too much?
[21:33]  Another aspect as a sub is keeping yourself safe.  Orator has covered the online safety but i'm talking real life safety
[21:33] <@Orator> Hold on to that wicked`kitty{W}...we'll come back to it.
[21:33] <@Orator> Go on, velvety_girl.
[21:33]  The first area is how many know what a safe call is?
[21:33] * +ange`de`velours raises her hand :)
[21:33] <@Orator> Yes ange`de`velours?
[21:33] <+Andais> safe call or safeword?
[21:34] <+ange`de`velours> lol she asked a question
[21:34] <+ange`de`velours> safe call Andais
[21:34] * velvety_girl looks at ange`de`velours... a safe call
[21:34] <+Andais> nope, never heard that one
[21:34] <+ange`de`velours> safe call is what ppl set up when theyre planning a meeting
[21:34] <@Orator> This is an excellent idea. Go on velvety_girl.
[21:34]  exactly ange`de`velours
[21:35] <+Andais> ah yes... common sense that!
[21:35]  i never realized how important safe calls were till i wound up in the hospital
[21:35] * @Orator nods and listens to velvety_girl
[21:35]  i will not meet anyone, no matter what if i can't set up a safe call with a friend and provide them with enough information to find me immediately in an emergency
[21:36] <+ange`de`velours> exactly velvety
[21:36]  i agreed to meet Someone when i first came into the lifestyle and didn't know what a safe call was... i learned quickly when a maid found me in the hotel room hours later
[21:36] <@southern^shell> velvety what good is a safe call if you are meeting in a hotel
[21:36] <+ange`de`velours> oh wow
[21:36] * @Orator nods
[21:37]  Never ever go meet Someone without a safe call, it could be life or death
[21:37] <@southern^shell> not trying to be smart but I can name two situations where people risked life 
[21:37] <@southern^shell> I agree but i think part of that is meet in a safe puplic place too 
[21:37] <+Andais> damn :(
[21:37]  oh gosh
[21:37] <@southern^shell> hotels are not for first meetings
[21:37]  i give my friend a full description of me, make model year and plate number of my car...and i give the same car info on the person i am meeting
[21:37] <@Orator> Go on velvety_girl...
[21:38]  southern^shell.. i had met Him 3 times previously
[21:38] <@Orator> So on your fourth meeting, he was altogether different.
[21:38]  at a set time, i call my friend, if i don't, she calls me... if i don't answer...she calls the police immediately
[21:39]  absolutely Sir
[21:39] <@southern^shell> yepper same here 
[21:39] <@southern^shell> I can know the dude for years
[21:39]  i still have some damage from that night
[21:39] * @Orator shakes his head
[21:39] <+Andais> was he prosecuted, velvety_girl?
[21:39]  if i stress anything to E/everyone here... use a safe call
[21:39] <@Orator> Yeah - get this Andais...
[21:40]  yes He was prosecuted, and received 6 months probation and is still in the local groups
[21:40] * @Orator sighs
[21:40] <@southern^shell> yupper
[21:40] <+Andais> what the hell?
[21:40]  i have warned every sub and slave i know
[21:40]  omg
[21:41] <+Andais> that's when it's time to call My 7 foot cousins and get them to hand his ass to him.
[21:41]  After set the safe, and arrange to meet.. make sure its in a public place and during the day
[21:41] * +ange`de`velours inserts... neverrrrrrrrrrrrrr invite them to your house
[21:41] * @Orator cringes
[21:41] * wicked`kitty{W} nods 
[21:41]  if i arrange to meet... i always get there well ahead of the time i agree too
[21:42] * +Andais nods
[21:42]  That way, He can't be lurking in the parking lot getting my information.  After i meet them, i stay minimum 2 hours after He's left.
[21:42] <+Andais> have done that with every man I meet.. vanilla or "sub"
[21:43]  do you watch him leave and make sure he's left?
[21:43]  i watch to be sure He's gone.
[21:43] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[21:43]  When i do leave, i circle around town for about 30 minutes so there's not much chance of Him following me home.
[21:44]  i know i sound like i'm preaching, but man safety is toooo important.
[21:44] <@Orator> No. You're right on.
[21:44]  i agree
[21:44]  Do you show id?
[21:44] <@southern^shell> I agree 
[21:44] <+ange`de`velours> it has to be..... it only takes one tiny mistake and your dead
[21:44]  me? never
[21:44]  or do you have him?
[21:44]  i always ask for driver's license number, His name, and plate number
[21:45]  but you wont give yours?
[21:45] <@Orator> Mine is PA 24...
[21:45] <@Orator> lol
[21:45]  i have on occasion
[21:45]  :)
[21:45]  but another thing to consider... How many have your social security number on your license?
[21:45] <@Orator> Not I,
[21:45] <@Orator> .
[21:45]  Get it off!
[21:45] * wicked`kitty{W} had mine removed a few years ago
[21:46]  A person can destroy you with your ss number.
[21:46] <@Orator> Indeed.
[21:46]  I know a girl who did everything right. Safe call, all that. BUT the guy happened to be smart enough track down who her ISP provider was, hack in her pc and found out who she was....
[21:46] <+LovnMaster> in some states soc sec IS driver lic number
[21:46]  thats right LovnMaster Sir
[21:46]  i understand LovnMaster Sir.. and that's sad
[21:46]  yikes, that's bad 
[21:46] <@southern^shell> btw whois brave -- someone form us that is, give me your real name and I will prob show you more info then you want me to know in pm
[21:46] <+Andais> crap.. that stinks
[21:47] <@Orator> They're changing that.
[21:47]  indiana is optional, i had mine on and removed it
[21:47]  i'm brave
[21:47]  illinois too
[21:47] <+Andais> <-- not from US
[21:47]  wicked`kitty{W} i know they use ss number for your license
[21:47]  southern^shell... you want it here?
[21:47]  i was in illinois i was required... cant remember if its on my new on in the new state
[21:47]  i've had mine removed for years
[21:48]  it's changed now
[21:48]  i removed mine last renewal
[21:48]  or do you mean within the number itself?
[21:48] <+ange`de`velours> no its actually listed on your license in some states hon
[21:48]  wicked`kitty{W}.. you might check about getting a state ID and possibly it doesn't have your ss number
[21:49]  my DL does not have my ssn
[21:49]  yes.. in illinois.. my license number was the initial of my last name, and ss number
[21:49] <+ange`de`velours> jersey used to do that too
[21:49] <+Andais> I found myself on google.. not home address, but work info.
[21:50]  its scary how much info you can get on the internet about someone
[21:50] <@Orator> Many of my friends were surprised that I could find their work addresses and phones just by putting in their names.
[21:50]  yours had your ss on your license number? When i lived there i was my first initial of my last name, then numbers unrelated to my ss
[21:50]  yes that was my driver's license number
[21:51]  yikes velvety .. mine is like what alana describes
[21:51]  what part of illinois were you in. I was born an raised there and never had my ss as part of the license #
[21:51]  i had no choice, and quickly left illinois
[21:51] * Play`nSimple (tooshoes@bondage-hidden-A945D195.gv.shawcable.net) has joined #the_d/s_parlor
[21:51] * ChanServ sets mode: +o Play`nSimple
[21:51] <@fireblade> Play`nSimple Welcome, please make yourself at home, invite your friends and have a party.
[21:51] * +ange`de`velours pounces in Plays lap as she listens
[21:51]  Hello Play`nSimple Sir
[21:52] <@southern^shell> hugs play 
[21:52] <@Play`nSimple> hello all :)
[21:52]  That's weird. I lived there all my life and they never had that. the ss was seperate from your license #
[21:52]  hi Play`nSimple
[21:52]  true, there isn't a choice in the number assigned ... and in the beginning they do put your ssn on it, but you can request it removed these days ... especially with the identity theft laws
[21:52]  this was in the last year
[21:52] <@Play`nSimple> hello alana^
[21:52]  Yes, i just moved from there.. never had to have it
[21:52] <@Play`nSimple> hello velvety_girl
[21:53] * @Play`nSimple hugs fufu the pouncer
[21:53]  Anytime you meet someone, you are taking a huge risk, its what you do to stay safe that determines how huge that risk is.
[21:53] * +ange`de`velours smiles and kisses him too
[21:54] <+ange`de`velours> exactly velvet, best thing i find is to take someone with you if you can
[21:54] * sweetmel (mylilmelod@bondage-hidden-A3AB481F.new.res.rr.com) has joined #the_d/s_parlor
[21:54] <@fireblade> sweetmel Nice to see you what is your pleasure
[21:54]  So you've met the person a few times, and are considering playing with them
[21:54]  If you meet someone online, there really isn't any true safety. Because there is always away to track someone threw the net. The phone. However. Its very easy. If you tell them your full name, they can easily do a yahoo or google search and find out where you live, and directions to your house
[21:54] <+ange`de`velours> hubs went with me when i went to meet bear
[21:54]  absolutely ange`de`velours
[21:54] * @Play`nSimple melts ....into her blouse, of course
[21:54]  everyone speaks of initial meetings and safe calls ... how often should those types of meetings continue without moving forward to be safe?
[21:54]  wicked`kitty{W} i know people who have gone months...
[21:54]  if i have your phone number, i can find out your name and address within 5 minutes
[21:55] <+LovnMaster> welcome sweetmel kissss
[21:55]  you dont need a phone number, just a name
[21:55] <@Orator> Indeed.
[21:55]  even if my number is unlisted?
[21:55]  yep
[21:55] <+ange`de`velours> it depends on the person kitty... like with me and bear... i know ppl will say it was unsafe, but we were "alone" after three days
[21:55]  you can call me, and your number will show on my caller ID, i go to the nearest pizza joint and look in a reverse directory
[21:56]  what about *67?
[21:56]  My husband and spent a year talking on the phone before we met. But of course, he was also a good friend of my friend..
[21:56]  that doesnt always work
[21:56]  that blocks from caller ID but what about *69
[21:56]  does *69 reveal the number?  doesn't it just call me back?
[21:56]  i have automatic call back service
[21:56]  if a call is blocked *69 doesn't work.
[21:56] <+Andais> eyes closing here.. good night everyone
[21:57]  it doesnt work all the time.. i called with a phone card dialed the *67 number still showed up
[21:57]  sleep well Andais
[21:57]  i have it too. And if the number is unavailable it doesn't work
[21:57]  yes and i can unplug that phone and call you daily for the rest of my life
[21:57] <@Orator> Whenever I'm not 100% confident of someone, I whip out my MCI Calling Card...
[21:57] <@Orator> You dial MCI's service...put in your code...put in the number you want to call, then they call.
[21:57] <@Orator> It gives the MCI service's number in the CallerID.
[21:57] <@Orator> You can't get back to me.
[21:57]  is that expensive Orator?
[21:57] <@Orator> Nope.
[21:58]  i can phone card as cheap as $5
[21:58]  calling cards are cheap.. you can get them at any store... and i use to do that too
[21:58] <@Orator> Stop by your local convienence store. They come in $5, $10, $25, and more.
[21:58]  oh so any calling card at a grocery?
[21:58]  but some still show up the phone number
[21:58] <@Orator> Yep.
[21:58]  i have had it happen
[21:58]  gotcha .. thanks
[21:58]  yes thats true
[21:58]  depends on the company..
[21:58]  what about using a cell phone?
[21:58] <@Orator> It won't if you go with the mainstream companies.
[21:58] <@Orator> MCI
[21:58] <@Orator> AT&T
[21:58]  are those safer?
[21:59]  they can still track you threw cell phone
[21:59]  use a calling card and a pay phone
[21:59] <@Orator> It usually will if you go with the 'no name' or 'store' brand.
[22:00]  Just to share something... i gave southern^shell my name in PM.  She's already told me what city i am in
[22:00]  within 5-10 minutes?
[22:00]  yes
[22:00]  talk about freaky
[22:00]  the only way you can be somewhat safe, is an unlisted number
[22:00]  when i met my former Dom.. we talked online for about 6months and onphone then we set up meeting...every time i met him for the first year, i had a safe call set up
[22:00]  scary
[22:00] <@southern^shell> and actually that is just off her whois
[22:01]  i could give you my name.. but there is actually alot of me in the US
[22:01]  even an unlisted number isn't safe... don't fall into a false sense of security there
[22:01]  but my former name.. there was one.. i coudl be found
[22:01]  yikes
[22:01]  oh i dont say its completely safe
[22:01]  but it sure as hell takes a lot more work than listed
[22:01] <@Orator> Well...
[22:01]  i've googled my home phone number, which is unlisted, and fortunately it only shows the former people who had it 
[22:01] <@Orator> Not really.
[22:02]  and besides.. the stalker, dangerous ones go for the nieve
[22:02]  actually.....unlisted just means you aren't in the phone book
[22:02] <@Orator> I have a friend in one of the major phone companies.
[22:02] <@Orator> He can get me...information otherwise unavailable.
[22:02]  i've had an ex boyfriend get my number 6 times, and i'm unlisted and non published
[22:03] * brb`{kalina}EM (beloved@bondage-hidden-66E34927.nas8.tucson1.az.us.da.qwest.net) has joined #the_d/s_parlor
[22:03] <@fireblade> brb`{kalina}EM Welcome, Thanks for stopping in. Hope you enjoy your stay
[22:03] <@Orator> Hey may have a friend in the right place.
[22:03] <@Orator> Hi brb`{kalina}EM
[22:03]  wb
[22:03] <+ange`de`velours> guys, its been great but ive gotta slip off, five am comes way too early
[22:03] <@Orator> Good night fufufu
[22:03]  most if they have to go to all that work, dont bother. They go for the ones who are nieve and are not guarded
[22:03] <@Orator> woops
[22:03] <@Orator> fufuf
[22:03]  sweet dreams ange
[22:03] <@Orator> ARRRRRRRRr
[22:03] * +ange`de`velours huggss you all, great talk guys :)
[22:03] <@Orator> fufu
[22:03]  my phone number now isn't listed in my name.. and my bill goes to a PO Box
[22:03]  thanks
[22:03] * ChanServ sets mode: +o {kalina}EM
[22:04]  is it safer to meet someone for the first time within the confines of a munch?
[22:04] * ange`de`velours is now known as fantasy`sleeping-afc
[22:04]  absolutely..there you are surrounded by a lot of people
[22:04]  well, not confines .. but it's not private chatting
[22:04] <@Orator> Yes.
[22:04] <@Orator> Exactly.
[22:04] <@Orator> You want to be public.
[22:05]  Not always. I know many who met the first time at a munch. And one or the other weren't known by the group and wound up dangerous
[22:05] <@Orator> Where you can attract attention if something goes awry.
[22:05]  I even was introduced to a man threw a group,  who they vowed was safe.. but turned out to be a convicted rapist.
[22:05]  The most important thing i want to see everyone take from this discussion is this....When you think you are safe, that is when you are in the most danger you've ever been in
[22:05] * @Orator nods
[22:06]  i agree velvety 
[22:06] * @Orator looks over his shoulder
[22:06]  exactly. My attacker is still in the group and i have to deal with him every time He attends
[22:06] <@Orator> That's shameful
[22:06] <@Orator> That the group even tolerates it.
[22:06]  I left the group because they said... if he doesn't hurt anyone here, we have no reason to kick him out
[22:06] * {kalina}EM frowns and hugs velvety
[22:06] <@Orator> That's a sucky attitude too.
[22:06]  If you have any concerns about meeting Someone, then don't.
[22:07]  i would too alana
[22:07]  That's exactly what they told me.
[22:07] * velvety_girl hugs {kalina}EM
[22:07]  Its a part of common sense. And there are many Dominants who have been put in Danger too. 
[22:07]  I've met Doms who wound up with psycho women and their lives turned upside down
[22:08] <@Orator> Indeed, alana^.
[22:08] * @Orator married one
[22:08] <@Orator> lol
[22:08] <@Orator> Anyway
[22:08]  exactly. Safety isn't just a sub/slave problem, there are psychotic sub/slaves out there too.
[22:08] * wicked`kitty{W} wonders why no one likes my rabbit stew
[22:08] <@Orator> You know...
[22:08]  Well true, married or not.. they can just be who or whatever they want
[22:09]  all kidding aside, that is true ... psychos are psycho regardless of the relationships they are or are not in
[22:09] <@Orator> I'm a big guy...6'4", 350#...but it only takes a few drops of some bizarre substance to put anybody in a state where they can't fight or do anything.
[22:09]  speaking of "weirdos" You talk to a person ONE time online and suddenly they become your bestest friend and each time you hop on line they are following you... lol
[22:10]  must be those pheremones you wear alana :)
[22:10] <@southern^shell> Orator - my ex was the same and a lil 14 yr old 100 pound girl put him out on the floor in pain one day 
[22:10] * @Orator cringes
[22:10]  must be hun lol
[22:10]  but its not just the Doms who do that, subbies too...
[22:10] <@Orator> Yeah...
[22:10]  yikes
[22:10]  i know i'm good, but NOT that good
[22:10] <@Orator> But as velvety_girl said...
[22:10] * alana^ laughs
[22:10] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles
[22:11] <@Orator> Don't ever think you're 100% safe...that's the time youll make a mistake.
[22:11]  I"ve gone on many of my 1sts with friends in the next booth
[22:11]  But don't i don't want to freak anyone one out of ever meeting someone either.  i have met people and made life long friends.
[22:12] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles warmly to velvety
[22:12]  that's good 
[22:12] <@Orator> So...
[22:12] <@Orator> Don't freak...
[22:12]  I can tell you a small world tale
[22:12] <@Orator> Use good judgement.
[22:12]  Jus use caution.
[22:12] <@Orator> Be smart.
[22:12] * wicked`kitty{W} gets paranoid sometimes ... but i agree with when i feel "safe" i double check my gut
[22:12] <@Orator> That's a good reaction, wicked`kitty{W}.
[22:12]  exactly.
[22:13] <@Orator> Go with your gut.
[22:13]  Another area is safe words.
[22:13]  I talked to this girl online for over a year, then when i got ready to move here i found out one of her roommates was a Dom i had talked to for 2 years, and the Doms wife worked with my hubby... now THAT is a small world...
[22:13]  wow
[22:13]  Can anyone tell me what a safe word is?
[22:14] <@Orator> "Get the hell off of me"
[22:14] <@Orator> lol
[22:14] <@southern^shell> NNOOOOOOOO
[22:14] * alana^ looks at velvety_girl...
[22:14] <@southern^shell> STOOOPPP
[22:14]  lol...no
[22:14]  no
[22:14]  stop, dammit, fuck, quit, ouch are not safe words.
[22:14]  a safe word is any word that you and your "other" come up with or agree with. There are no set words.
[22:14]  I had a safe word that is STOP
[22:14]  and QUIT
[22:14]  popcorn
[22:14] <@southern^shell> *giggles* a word / color / action used to preceed with caution and/or stop and discuss before proceding 
[22:15]  I've had firehouse
[22:15]  my safe words are yellow- which means you are approaching a limit, or something i can't handle, so proceed with caution.
[22:15]  i've used a bell and dropped it or a scarf, or someother object
[22:15]  red- means everything stops immediately
[22:15]  my safewords are like a traffic light.
[22:15] * @Orator nods
[22:16]  green means.. omgg you are driving me wild.  yellow means proceed with caution.  red means everything stops immediately.
[22:17]  When i first started in the lifestyle as  newbie i used the color code. But that is with those who i've never played with, or am at a play party. But with "normal" people they get to know body language and they know me.. and most "good" doms will ask... is it okay and not go til you have to say a color.
[22:17] <+Vicctor> 've used Penguin before.
[22:17]  is it a good idea to test the safe word to see if He'll really stop?
[22:17]  then again if you're like me and tied down, gagged, and can't talk, then you have to figure out something else...i've actually hummed jingle bells in June.
[22:17] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles
[22:18]  wicked`kitty{W}..if you have to test him, He's not someone You should be playing with yet.
[22:18]  thanks
[22:18] * LordofORings (lordoforin@bondage-hidden-C3C46EE7.su.shawcable.net) has left #the_d/s_parlor
[22:18] <@Orator> Wow. That's good advice velvety_girl.
[22:18]  Trust is the most important aspect of a D/s relationship.
[22:18]  I have very rarely played with someone in general. Safe words have hardly ever been an issue. Because the people i am with know me so good that when i say too much or stop they do.
[22:19]  yes.. but not all Doms are like that.
[22:19]  i am just beginning to meet people in real
[22:19]  munches and the like
[22:19] * velvety_girl looks up at Orator..feel free to jump back in
[22:19]  Those are the Doms i dont play with :)
[22:19] <@Orator> Oh, I'm absorbing at this point.
[22:19]  I'm very very picky on those i play with. I dont just play with any Dom, Dick, and hairy.
[22:19]  But how do you determine that?
[22:20]  How, TIME.. LOTS OF TIME... sure i may want to play, but i take the time to get to know them.
[22:20]  exactly and i understand that, but anyone can tell you what you want to hear.
[22:20] <@Orator> It goes back to trust, every time.
[22:20]  and they take the time to know me. As a friend... and small babysteps... could be as simple as nipple torture
[22:21]  i never let anyone tie me up when we first start playing
[22:21]  True... but if you can not distinguish between the two you shouldn't be in the lifestyle
[22:21]  How do you know that they really know you well enough that you don't need a safe word?
[22:22] * +fantasy`sleeping-afc peeks in
[22:22] <+fantasy`sleeping-afc> im married
[22:22] <@Orator> Time.
[22:22] <+fantasy`sleeping-afc> 15 yrs
[22:22]  i very seldom use mine, but i will not play without one.
[22:22] <+fantasy`sleeping-afc> i still have a safe word
[22:22]  When i was a newbie.. i was so green it wasn't funny. Made so many mistakes and no nos.. now 15 years later.. i'm a lil wiser.
[22:22] * velvety_girl smiles at fufu
[22:22] <@southern^shell> safeword is always needed
[22:22] <+fantasy`sleeping-afc> ok back to bed, just had to point that out :)
[22:22]  Lets put it this way velvety_girl, how do we know what we hear online, the advice and what nots are the truths?
[22:22]  only a little alana :)
[22:22]  i don't care how long you've known the person, safe words are a must for when you explore new areas
[22:23]  How do we know anything is really true. You have to go by instinct and time. TIME is the biggest one.
[22:23]  we can only go by whether we hear warning bells or not
[22:23] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[22:23]  alana^.. it goes back to trust and following your gut instinct.
[22:23]  velvety_girl, if someone was going to go out and hurt you, those type do not have the patience to wait and take things slow.
[22:24]  my assaulter met me 3 times and spent at least 6 hours at each meeting, and countless hours on the phone with me
[22:24] <@southern^shell> ummmmmmmmmm wrong
[22:24]  If someone is one of those who is out to hurt, they dont want to get to know you well or you them. Because then there is too much of a chance for them to get busted. They are the hit and run types
[22:24] <@southern^shell> alana^
[22:24] <@southern^shell> my ex had alot of patients
[22:24]  hunters enjoy the hunt
[22:24]  my attacker probably spent hundreds of hours talking with me.
[22:25]  there are tale tell signs that many choose not to see.. trust me. Been there done that.
[22:25] <@southern^shell> wrong alana^
[22:25]  we talked constantly on the phone, or email for over 8 months before i agreed to meet him.
[22:25] <@southern^shell> not ALL have signs 
[22:25]  no alana^ they show you only what they want you to see
[22:25]  Heck after a year of dating my bf, day in and day out... he raped me...beat me..and put me in the hospital
[22:25]  THAT is a tale tell sign...
[22:25] <@Orator> How can guys do that?
[22:25] * @Orator fumes
[22:26]  exactly.. and how long did you spend with him? that wasn't a quick move in for the kill.. he spent a year
[22:26] <@heartsown> i was raped, abused and almost killed by a b/f
[22:26]  i'm not a newbie at this at all. I've been in this lifestyle for 20 years total... 
[22:26]  i spent 8 years with a man who beat me no less than 3 times a week and is currently in prison doing 20-life
[22:27]  and that's what scares me for you alana^
[22:27]  yes and my ex beat me for 13 years... but sits free... 
[22:27]  dont even say what i think you are going to say velvety_girl
[22:27] <@heartsown> my ex bf abused me verbally and physically and then tried to strangled me but didnt spend even a min in jail
[22:27] <@heartsown> for 7 years
[22:27]  that i believe i know it all, because i have experience
[22:27] * velvety_girl looks at alana^
[22:27]  Not at all. I just know i keep up on the "bs" that goes on in the outside world
[22:27] <@southern^shell> basic is that the person that aims to hurt can hide it till they are ready to let it be known
[22:27] * @Orator feels his bp going way up
[22:28]  i didn't say that.. but i do think you are at the point you think you know how to spot a bad person right off and that's scary
[22:28] <@southern^shell> and you never know also when the good guy will snap or gal
[22:28] <@Orator> So...
[22:28] <@heartsown> and he did it most of the time in front of my girls
[22:28]  I know there are those who will tell you ANYTHING just to get to you and tell you what you want to hear and the things they want you to see....
[22:28]  really? how so?
[22:28] <@heartsown> took alot of courage for me to leave him but i finally did
[22:28]  scarey... you'd think it would be a good trait.. and i never said RIGHT off the bat
[22:28] * @Orator nods
[22:28] <@Orator> Well...
[22:28] <@southern^shell> you know tho there is alot of good too 
[22:29] <@Orator> Yep.
[22:29]  sometimes it takes a while....not over night, not in a week, heck it may take a year.. who knows
[22:29]  alana^ all i am saying to you is be very careful.
[22:29] <@Orator> There are respectable guys out there.
[22:29]  absolutely Sir.
[22:29]  hun.. i'm married, I have no reason to go out and be stupid with someone i dont know.
[22:29] <@Orator> And even with someone like me, who you could not be safer with, you still gotta practice good thinking.
[22:29] * +fantasy`sleeping-afc wavesssssssssssssssssssss bring this back to safety please :)
[22:29] * @heartsown curls back up by herself in a corner and watches again
[22:29]  And i am FAR from stupid.... to get in my bed, takes a miracle from GOD.
[22:30] <@Orator> Folks, we've gotten a bit off topic here.
[22:30]  i think we need to move on in our discussion now
[22:30] * velvety_girl sighs softly.
[22:30]  anyway i'll leave since i'm.. scarey.. have a good evening
[22:30] * alana^ (alana@bondage-hidden-88CD18BA.cable.mindspring.com) has left #the_d/s_parlor
[22:30] <@Orator> These are some incredible stories....
[22:30] <@Orator> Well...
[22:30] <@Orator> Okay.
[22:30] <@Orator> SO.
[22:30] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles and listens
[22:31] <@Orator> We're all agreed that there is much we need to do to maintain a safe posture.
[22:31] <@Orator> There's a lot of fun, recreation, and exploration we can enjoy with another.
[22:31]  You can meet people and find that special One.  Just use caution.
[22:31] <@Orator> But we must all keep these examples in mind.
[22:31] <@Orator> Exactly velvety_girl.
[22:32] <@Orator> We're all here for the same reason.
[22:32]  Even after what i went through that night, i still meet people.
[22:32] <@Orator> We've got that kink.
[22:32] <@Orator> It just so happens that our kink comes with ropes, chains, gags, and oh so much more that I don't even know about.
[22:32]  But i am a lot more cautious.
[22:32]  that's reassuring velvety :)
[22:32] <@Orator> That's the point here, velvety_girl. Exactly.
[22:32]  Whic Sir, brings up another area of safety.
[22:32] <@Orator> To be cautious, but not to let it paralyze us.
[22:33] <@Orator> I remember (wicked`kitty{W}) asking a question earlier...what about "innocent" information .. how much is too much?
[22:33] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[22:34]  i'm not sure what innocent information she's referring to
[22:34] <@Orator> Yeah...that's what I was coming to. What do you think of innocent information as, wicked`kitty{W}?
[22:34]  for instance ... i live in a large city ... that seems innocent to give the name of the city
[22:34] <@Orator> Well...
[22:34] <@Orator> Sure, it can be.
[22:34] <@Orator> But...
[22:35] <@Orator> If I just spend a little time with you...
[22:35]  i live in a city of 160,000 people
[22:35] <@Orator> And I'm friendly and all...
[22:35] <@southern^shell> wicked`kitty{W} == realy honestly I can find what ever i want on a person with out them knowing they are giving it to me --- BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT the chances of that happening are slim
[22:35] <@Orator> I might be able to coax something out of you.
[22:35] <@southern^shell> I have had one issue in over 15 years that went too far 
[22:36] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[22:36] <@southern^shell> and it wasn't from info i gave out
[22:36] <@southern^shell> but info he found
[22:36]  exactly like my ex
[22:37]  for instance ... i consider myself cautious ... i will give my first name, city perhaps, and an email address .. one of 3 depending on how "good" i feel about them
[22:37]  no information that reveals who you are, where you live, or anything about you directly is innocent.
[22:38]  Lady`Violet.. we were just discussing safety, please feel free to join in
[22:38]  Thank you velvety_girl
[22:38] <@Orator> I'm with velvety_girl on that wicked`kitty{W}.
[22:38]  anything in a public directory is vague or the same information ... city/state only .. no name
[22:38] <@Orator> The smallest bit of info can be turned against you.
[22:39]  or my nick/handle
[22:39]  But how common is your name? are you the only Jane Doe in your town?
[22:39] <@Orator> So, when you get the "A/S/L" thing...give the L as your state/province/country.
[22:39] <@southern^shell> I look at it this way for how much is to much 
[22:39]  i don't give my last name
[22:39] <@southern^shell> you can live in fear of death and never leave your house becuase the dog might eat you 
[22:40] <@southern^shell> chances are there it could happen but it is slim
[22:40] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[22:40] <@southern^shell> so yes you go out but you do it with basic quidlines, knowledge and saftey precautions 
[22:41]  when we began, i PMed southern^shell with my name, within 5 minutes she knew my cable company and my city
[22:41]  and i hadn't given her the city or the cable company's name
[22:41] <@Orator> lol
[22:41] <+LovnMaster> middle / not lately / Pa
[22:41]  she could if she was a bad person, hack my cable company and get my address
[22:41] <@southern^shell> lol tell em what else i found out sorta but now do know ... dads 
[22:41]  she gave me my dad's name
[22:42] <@southern^shell> lol i am good
[22:42]  she's damn good
[22:42]  in reality it's the lurkers that are more dangerous
[22:42] <@southern^shell> exactly wicked`kitty{W}
[22:42]  no offense to anyone here of course listening :)
[22:42] <@southern^shell> i know how to optain all that info and will tell you i do but never do i use it 
[22:42]  exactly
[22:42] * @Play`nSimple tries his best to look all ominous and stuff
[22:43] * wicked`kitty{W} winks at PnS
[22:43]  the only reason i gave southern^shell my name is she and i have talked at great length and i feel really comfortable with her
[22:43] <@heartsown> i dont have anything in my name, i dont pay any bills either. my hubby used a alias when he set up his phone bill so he doesnt even use his real name
[22:44] * velvety_girl looks up at Orator smiling softly
[22:44] * @Play`nSimple hides behind a convient leafy tree lurks
[22:44] <@heartsown> although i do use my real nickname online
[22:44] * @southern^shell hugs velvety_girl
[22:44] <@Play`nSimple> convenient too
[22:44]  Be well E/everyone
[22:45]  southern^shell?
[22:45]  Orator just also pmed me with my city and state, and i didn't even give Him a last name to work with
[22:46] <@southern^shell> yes 
[22:46] * wicked`kitty{W} nods
[22:46] <@southern^shell> sorry 
[22:46] <@southern^shell> lol MikeT had me a sec
[22:46]  The other area i'd like to touch on is safety during play.. 
[22:46] <@southern^shell> i got that off your whois hun
[22:46] * wicked`kitty{W} listens
[22:46] <@southern^shell> i didn't need your name
[22:47] <@Orator> Same here.
[22:47]  You've that person, You're comfortable playing and ready to play
[22:47]  a question most don't think about is.. what effect do medical problems have on play.
[22:47]  i have chronic bronchitis.. therefore its probably not wise for me to do breath play
[22:48] <@heartsown> i have asthma and i know some say i'm crazy i do breath play
[22:48]  For safety reasons i keep an inhaler and my breathing machine nearby at all times during play
[22:48] <@southern^shell> alergies is important to know
[22:49]  heartsown.. that's a decision only you can make.. i support you doing what makes you happy.
[22:49]  exactly southern^shell
[22:49] <@heartsown> and emotional health as well
[22:49] <@southern^shell> ohhh yes!
[22:49] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles
[22:49] <@heartsown> like i cant do certain things because i'm clasutaphobic
[22:50]  any history of abuse.. in my case you can't sneak up and grab me around the neck from behind.
[22:50] <@southern^shell> I have a major issue with not knowing if a person is mentaly as well as physically able to do something 
[22:50] * @Orator nods
[22:50] <@heartsown> and anxiety prevents me from doing things
[22:50]  exactly
[22:51] <@heartsown> self asteem is also a biggie with me
[22:51] * wicked`kitty{W} nodsnods ... for me too
[22:51] * velvety_girl looks at the floor at the mention of self esteem
[22:51]  heart conditions need to be made known
[22:51] <@southern^shell> well my situation is I have flash backs now and then that can be set of by action, sound, phrase, scent --- and some doms will be look i just want to play i don't need your life history 
[22:51] <@southern^shell> and I am bi-polar
[22:52]  exactly southern^shell.. but they need to know for safety
[22:52]  yes, they do
[22:52] <@southern^shell> It is improtant that they know the basics of this may happen and if does here is how you handle it 
[22:52]  on the reverse .. isn't it important to know the same of the Dominant?
[22:52] <@heartsown> yes it is
[22:53]  i was in play one night and had a body temp, blood pressure, and blood sugar all drop at the same time
[22:53]  absolutely wicked`kitty{W}
[22:53] <@heartsown> oh yea, that's another biggie for me,  i suffer from high blood pressure
[22:53] <@heartsown> i was just diagnoised though
[22:54]  i have low blood sugar
[22:54]  we were doing ice/medical play
[22:54] <@heartsown> so that is something i need to concider from now on when i play
[22:54]  ahh that makes sense then velvety
[22:54]  it was very intense and hit me as play was ending.. luckily for me He is a nurse and knew what to do
[22:55] <@heartsown> you have to use your eyes and sences when you play,  if you feel like something is wrong..stop
[22:55]  i told Him something felt wrong and He had me untied in under 2 minutes flat
[22:55]  He cut the ropes to free me
[22:55] <@Orator> Good.
[22:55] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles softly
[22:55] <@southern^shell> what about drinking and drugs -- is it ok to have a few glasses of wine before play
[22:56]  i wouldn't
[22:56] <@heartsown> it's always safe to stop and ask and then if things are alright...continue playing
[22:56]  and immediately wrapped a blanket around me, gave me hot cocoa and held me till i came out of it
[22:56]  If a Dom doesn't care about my medical history, He's not someone i care to play with.
[22:56] * wicked`kitty{W} nods ... i agree
[22:57] <@heartsown> no, i dont play when i take my pain meds,  my judgement and pain threshold is different and it could hurt me
[22:57]  Something i see happen at play parties a lot is a slave drinking and then playing
[22:59]  IMHO alcohol has no place at a play party.
[22:59] <@Orator> It dulls the senses too much.
[22:59] <@southern^shell> I agree 
[22:59] <@heartsown> i agree too
[22:59]  exactly
[22:59] <@Orator> And the decisions become a little to easy to bend.
[22:59] <@Orator> So...
[22:59] <@Orator> We've spent the last two hours talking about Safety.
[23:00]  i know we've hit alot of areas tonight and i hope you leave here a lot more safety conscious than when you came in.
[23:00] <@Orator> It's obviously something we all think about.
[23:00] <@Orator> Yes, velvety_girl. Right on.
[23:00] <@Orator> So, thank y'all for hanging with us on this.
[23:00]  Please, please be careful when meeting someone, but have fun!
[23:00] <@Orator> And thanks sooooooo much for sharing your personal stories.
[23:01] <@Orator> And always remember...Safe = Happy
[23:01]  Orator if sharing my horrors helps prevent someone from suffering the same thing, i'll share it everyday for the rest of my life.
[23:01] <@Orator> You're a great lady for having that attitude.
[23:01]  thank you for taking the time ... smiles
[23:02] <@Orator> Thank you very much for sharing from what was a very painful time for you.
[23:02] <@Orator> And to all...
[23:02]  thanks for joining us wicked`kitty{W} and sharing
[23:02] * @southern^shell hugs you
[23:02] <@Orator> Thank you southern^shell!
[23:02] <@southern^shell> ya all did great
[23:02] * velvety_girl hugs southern^shell
[23:02] <@Orator> Thank you wicked`kitty{W}
[23:02] <@Orator> Thank you fantasy`sleeping-afc
[23:02] <@southern^shell> and tomorrow --- looks at heart
[23:02] <@Orator> It's poetry night...
[23:02] <@southern^shell> are we going to do poetry sharing 
[23:02] <@heartsown> poetry night
[23:02]  Thanks southern^shell and fantasy`sleeping-afc
[23:03] * slutboy4mic-m (nico_1978@ADAD30A2.A89FE520.2213872C.IP) has joined #the_d/s_parlor
[23:03] <@fireblade> slutboy4mic-m Welcome, please make yourself at home, invite your friends and have a party.
[23:03] <@southern^shell> hi slutboy4mic-m
[23:03]  hi, southern
[23:03] * wicked`kitty{W} peeks behind the tree and grins at Play`nSimple
[23:03] * Orator changes topic to 'It's Poetry Thursday!! Come share in the gift of words as written by some of our own, or brought to us through the insight of others. !help is always available, and make sure you read our !rules.'
[23:04] <@heartsown> i wanna put hosted by me on there  lol
[23:04] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles
[23:04] <@Orator> Go ahead, heartsown
[23:05] <@southern^shell> yepper yepper 
[23:05] <@southern^shell> host is heartsown
[23:05] <@southern^shell> is Vicctor helping again
[23:05] <@southern^shell> ya all did great
[23:05] * wicked`kitty{W} applauds
[23:06] * @Play`nSimple winks at wicked`kitty{W} and tries to look ominous and stuff again
[23:06] <@heartsown> not sure, he hasnt been feeling well
[23:06] <+Vicctor> I probbly will shelly, assuming my laptop quits bitching at me, long enough to get the script
[23:06] <@heartsown> oh he is here  hehe
[23:06] <+Vicctor> hehe
[23:06]  thank Yyou all for the welcome and the discussion .. i really appreciate it and will visit again ... please be well and have fun :)
[23:07] <+Vicctor> be well wicked`kitty{W}
[23:07]  wicked`kitty{W} come back anytime sweetie
[23:07] <+LovnMaster> good night friends
[23:07] * wicked`kitty{W} smiles and slinks out the door
[23:07]  i really hope i didn't scare you too badly but made you stop and think
[23:07]  night LovnMaster Sir
[23:07] * wicked`kitty{W} pauses and looks back

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