an asian men’s group

This is the first time since the group has formed that I've updated this site.

I suddenly realize, after a really good meeting recently, that this group is less about Asian men and more about small groups, and of the power of small groups to help individuals get traction on issues, to connect, and to validate as well as challenge what might be clanging about in their heads during the week.

Clearly, the participants are Asian men, and the content is about Asian men in our society. But the underlying structure is that of a small group, and I would love to learn more about this if anyone has ideas or references.

When I've asked people what their friends say when they mention that they're in an Asian men's group, it seems the response runs the gamut. One person, who works as a religious leader, lives in a community that expects people to be in small groups; just part of their work. My experience, and those of some of my dear female supporters, is that of a little suspicion: will this be homophobic? will it be anti-feminist? These are clearly political issues that will be determined by who's in the group, and by its leader to a lesser measure.

We're finding the classic check-in works well (no response, just go in a circle to say what you like, in order to enter the room). An article, a video, anything, can animate the discussion, and we're using a listserv (yahoogroups, e.g.), to help facilitate email communication. We also always have a check-out: a few words on what was good, what to try differently, and we make sure we have time to agree on the next meeting time.

That's all I'll say for now, other than to encourage you to start one yourself if you're interested, and to keep at it. It takes time to develop trust, and, if you're patient and persevere, you might be pleasantly surprised at the life it takes on in due time. It also helps to have a partner of some kind: to bounce ideas of off, help get feedback.

Please feel free to contact me at tsesung at yahoo if you like.