You Know You're a Northerner When...

      • You own 3 spices - salt, pepper and ketchup
      • You design Hallowe'en costumes to fit over snow suits
      • You know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not winter and almost winter
      • You also know the other definition of seasons - "winter" and "construction"
      • You have more miles on your snow blower than your car
      • Driving in winter is better, because all the potholes get filled with snow
      • You feel warm and toasty at minus 26
      • You find minus 40 a mite chilly
      • Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof
      • The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
      • Somewhere in the area is a piece of frozen metal with bits of your kid's tongue stuck to it
      • You can play road hockey on skates
      • You find it exciting to stare through a hole in the ice and look at the bottom of the lake
      • You have ten favourite recipes for moose and five for caribou
      • You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary
      • Men think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown with only eight buttons
      • Women attend formal affairs in their best dresses, finest jewelry and Sorels
      • Men think that a Windsor Knot is a new way to tie up the dog
      • Your dogs wear boots too
      • The mayor greets you on the street by your first name
      • You can immediately tell that people are from Outside because they use terms like "Mr." and "Mrs."
      • There is only one shopping mall within 500 miles - and it has 7 stores
      • Your car's tires are square in the morning - until you drive a few blocks (well, a lot of blocks sometimes!) and thaw them out.
      • If you don't go out for lunch you miss the sunrise and sunset.
      • Moose take long naps in your driveway and refuse to move when you need to come or go from the house.
      • Moose leave poopsicles around for the dogs.
      • If you hear a police bullhorn, you know they're driving around warning people about a grizzly or polar bear in the neighbourhood.
      • There is a sign outside of McDonalds that says: "Park dogteams in back"
      • You have to keep your pickup plugged in
      • If the School district had snow days, no one would ever have to go to school.
      • You carry your beer under your armpit to keep it from freezing.

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