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Jerry left his desk one day to seek out a cup of coffee. But just as he was leaving his workstation it hit him, he had to go on a secret five. He glanced twice at the co-workers on both sides of him, decided that they don't care and Jerry went about his business. Jerry knew he was doing the wrong thing, but the sweet scent of tobacco drew him closer and closer to his own death. He left the office to have a secret five at exactly 7:17. It was a dark night, the moon hidden behind high-up clouds. The air was cool and there was a steady breeze. He knew the breeze would hinder his ability to use his lighter.

On the walk out of the building, as he was approaching the smoker's designated area, he saw his boss. But he knew his boss wouldn't care, so he went on with his business. Walking beside his boss, Jerry was inclined to say something, "Hey boss how's it going?"

His boss replied, "fantastic Jerry how are you? Going on a smoke break I see..."

Jerry looked at his boss, then he looked right through him, "Yeah boss, I'm going to kill myself slowly with cigarettes."

"Carry on then, I'll see you later," prompted the boss.

Jerry then felt compelled to yell 'Jabber walkie talkie' to his boss who was now on his way to the elevator. Jerry continued toward the smoke pit.

There were three people from his office out on a smoke break. Jerry cast quick glances at each and reached into his pocket for his lighter and smokes. He waited for the wind to die down, and lit his light cigarette. Jerry thought to himself, "I wonder if they know I'm out on a secret five..."

Genevieve, his enamoured co-worker piped up in the conversation, "Jerry what brings you out here at this time of night?"

Jerry was quick on his feet at this and already had his answer ready, "I told everyone upstairs that I'm in the bathroom. I was talking to the boss on the way here and he didn't seem to mind."

At this, Genevieve responded, "Uh oh you're taking the risky secret five aren't you?"

"As a matter of fact, I am."

Jerry smoked the rest of his cigarette and hurried back upstairs to his desk.

When he arrived at his workstation, he noticed a large pile of back-orders were placed on his desk... Oh no, Jerry thought, I wonder if I had stayed at my desk if this extra work would have landed on someone else's desk.

Well that's the price you pay to have a secret five...

Unless you get away with it and the only one who knows won't tell...



Oh the secret five is...

The secret five is the time for smokers,
The secret five leaves no time for jokers,
The secret five is so good for me,
We love it cause it's almost free.


I love the secret five after eight,
I love the secret five, because its great,
Who does the secret five,
We do, we do
Who loves the secret five,
We do, we do.


The secret five leaves you with cancer,
The secret five brings chance for answer,
The secret five we love it true,
Because its the only thing we do.



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