Final Fantasy 7: The Director's Cut
Disc 2: Sibling Rivalry
By: Lady Chaos

Legal stuff:
FFVII characters/likenesses are copy right of Squaresoft, and are used without
permission. Sephiroth Clones #31, #118, and #445 are kinda original characters, at least
in the personality aspect.  Sephiroth Clone #662 was created by WB so it's "his"
character, and is used with permission.
 

Warning:
Uh, yeah this is a very messed up fic, and should not be read by ANYONE.
If you are easily offended, or you have no sense of humor stop reading right now.
BECAUSE IT JUST GETS STRANGER.  A LOT of liberties were taken with the plot
and characters: those were intentional.  Anything
else you might find funny was intentional too  ^_^

 

****

{Sephiroth and Aeris stand up at the whirlwind maze.}
Sephiroth: Okay.  They should all be coming here for Reunion.
Aeris: Reunion?
Sephiroth: Yeah.  I'm gonna kill them all!  Ha ha ha!
Aeris: Okay.  {pause.  Cue characters *blink blink* action a couple times.}  Say, do you
know who you remind me of?  My old boyfriend, Zack!  He acted a lot like you!
Sephiroth: Yeah.  I killed him.  The good for nothing slob tried to stop me from freeing
Mother.
Aeris: {indifferent sigh} Oh, well...He was a jerk anyway.
Sephiroth: No kidding.  You could do a lot better.
Aeris: Really?
Sephiroth:  {nod nod} A girl like you could do a *LOT* better than some second-rate
SOLDIER.  Like maybe a First Rank SOLDIER...or the top ranking SOLDIER for that
matter.
Aeris: Oh that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me the entire time I've lived in
Midgar!
Sephiroth: Really?  Damn you need to get out more, girl.
Aeris:  Oh easy for you to say.  Where the hell would I go?  It's not like there's any other
major huge city.
Sephiroth: What about Junon?  Or Wutai?  Or Nibelheim...no wait I burned that to the
ground 5 years ago.  But I have heard that they rebuilt it nicely.
Aeris: I said city...
Sephiroth:  Oh, yeah.  Point noted.  Look, here come some clones now.
{#31, #662 and #118 walk up the maze.}
#31: All right.  We're supposed to meet the Master here.
#662: I'm cold.
#118: Well if you'd put some clothes on you wouldn't be.
#662: I don't like wearing clothes!
#31: I am praying...please let the Master give me a new task.
Sephiroth: Wait...only the faulty clones made it here?
#31: Who are you calling faulty, you little punk?!
#118: OH HONEY!!! I WAS SOOOOO WORRIED WHEN YOU SKIPPED TOWN
THAT IT MEANT YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!!
Sephiroth: {horrified look}  You're more frightening than Mother!
Aeris: Hello!  I'm Aeris Gainsborough!  Are you all related?
#31: I am Sephiroth Clone #31.
#118: And I'm #118.
#662: And I'm #662!  You wouldn't have some earmuffs, would you?
#31: And it appears that #445 brought you here, Miss.  Although I have no idea why.
#118: Maybe he's had too many shock treatments.  He needs a kissie-ums better!
Sephiroth: If you come near me I will kill you.
#118: Oooooooh he's being hostile again!
#31: {hits #445 upside the head with his sword} Stop that, you little punk!
Sephiroth: You show me some respect, Clone!  I am the original Sephiroth!
#662: Ha ha ha!  #445's finally gone crazy!  Ha ha ha!
#118: Well it was bound to happen...we're all crazy!
Aeris: You're all really scary too!
#118: You bet we are!
Aeris: Especially you #118!  You're really ugly!
#118: NO ONE CALLS ME UGLY AND LIVES!!!!!!
{#31 and #662 hold her back}
#118: WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS #662!!!!
#662: D'oh!
{Sephiroth shakes his head}
Sephiroth: Come on Aeris.  We have to go through this maze and...ha ha ha!  Soon I will
be awakened and I won't have to use this clone's body anymore!  Ha ha ha!
#31:  This is most odd.  Can it be that #445 has become possessed by the Master?
All: Naaaaaaah...
Sephiroth: No no!  Really!  I am the real Sephiroth!  Ask me a question!
#31: What's the square root of  256?
Sephiroth: What the hell?!  How would I know?!  What am I a calculator?!
#31: See.  He's not the Master.
Sephiroth: I am too!  Ask me a question that pertains to being Sephiroth!
#118: Do I look better with my hair up or down?
#662: Do we really have to wear clothes?
Sephiroth: WHAT THE HELL DO THOSE HAVE TO DO WITH BEING
SEPHIROTH?!!!!!
Aeris: Um...how many of you clones are there?
Sephiroth: How would I know?!  That moron, Hojo, made them all!
#31: There are approximately 300 clones, more or less.  As for how many of them are
alive right now; no idea.
#662: #31 is the one really possessed by the Master!
{Sephiroth growls, and makes the masamune appear in his hand.  Then he sticks it right
through #31}
Sephiroth:  I never liked you anyway.  {grabs Aeris}  C'mon!  We're going!
#118: Heeeeeeeeeey...when did he get a sword?!
#662: I can't make mine just appear like that...{pouts}
{They follow}

****

{Once inside the maze we find Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Cid, Red XIII, Vincent, Yuffie, Cait
Sith (at least we did when I played the game  I got Yuffs early), Rufus, Hojo {I guess the
wound wasn't fatal}, and a bunch of other non-important people that I'll add in as I
remember.  So here is meaningless comments from each to serve as introductions.}
Cloud: Um, yeah. Here I am. I am Cloud Strife, Ex-SOLDIER First Class.  I am the
"hero", but apparently I'm some Sephiroth clone...and yeah I'm uh possessed by him.
Yeah that's it.  I'm gonna uh...do something now-  Something bad and blame it on being
possessed by Sephiroth.  My shrink says I have trouble accepting responsibilities for my
actions.  Did I mention I have lethally sharp spikes in my hair?
Vincent: .... {stands there looking cool while he broods.  (Gosh he does a good job of it
too!)}
Cloud: *ahem*  Vincent...you have to say something now.
Vincent: .... {looks cool, but in a brooding, depressed way (awwwww)}
Cloud: Uh, I'll start for you, and you can jump in when you're ready, okay?
Vincent: ....
Cloud: er...right.  This is Vincent Valentine, no relation to St. Valentine.  We found him
sleeping in a coffin in the basement of the Old ShinRa mansion in Nibelheim.
Uh...he...uh...has a cool limit break..?
Vincent: ....
Cloud: Ah...right.  Moving on...
Yuffie: Hee hee!  I'm going to be as annoying as possible!  {steals someone's materia}
Cloud: YuffiEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! GIVE IT BACKK!!!!!!!!  {whine}
Yuffie: Oh fine...hyuk, hyuk.  I'm Yuffie Kisaragi!  I steal Materia and be a big pain in
the @$$ as I annoy everyone!  Wheeeeeee!!!!!
Cloud: Yeah.  Exactly.   And this is Tifa Lockheart...
Tifa: Oooooooooh...Cloud!  Heeeeeelp meeeeee!!!!
Cloud: What is it, Tifa?!
Tifa: I can't breathe...my clothes are too tight! {tries to stand up}
Vincent: Who let her wear a mini-skirt and halter top up to the snowy north anyway?
{Everyone stares at him, open-mouth, shocked he's spoken.}
Vincent:  I mean, "....."
Cloud: And this is Barret Wallace.
Barret: D'oh!  Get yo' spikey ass away from me, boy!  I don' need kno' freak pointin' at
me!  I'm the leader of AVALANCHE!  I should be doin' dem introductions not yo'!
Cloud: Right-
Cait Sith: Let me read your fortune!  C'mon!  Let me read it!  {bounces around on a mog}
I know I'm a dirty ShinRa spy!  But you guys keep me around anyway!
Cloud: Hey, I didn't say you could talk yet.
Cait Sith: Your fortune says:  "You're not what you seem!"
Cloud: {weird look}  Get lost, you freaky cat plushie.  This is Red XIII-
Red XIII: Nanaki.  My name is Nanaki.  I'm the smartest person...I mean animal here.
Cid: No #@#!#!#! arguments there, Red you ##!#!#@!#%%!!!!!!!!
Cloud: Cid, watch the language, there might be children present.
Cid: Only you, you @&!!^@#*&@^#!!!!!!!  I'll say what I @^^@^!@&!&@&@ want!!!
Cloud: ...
Vincent: Excuse me, Cloud.  But that's my line.
Cloud: Oh...sorry.
Rufus: I'm the president of ShinRa now!  I am so damn cool!  I can do whatever I want!
Now I will kill you Cloud!   Because you killed my guard dog!
Hojo: I am some crack-pot scientist.  I make clones and act all insane.
Scarlet: I think I was here at the time.  How the hell would I know?!
Cid: You're some nasty #@#@$$!!!!!
Scarlet: You got it, Cid!

{Now this is where any resemblance to the game flies out the window.  No wait.  I'll
rephrase that.  This is where any resemblance to the game that was in this messed up fic
to start with flies out the window.}

Hojo:  It's my son, Cloud!
Cloud: What the hell?!  No!  SHUT UP!!!!! YOU'RE RUINING THE PLAN!!!!!
{Hojo runs over and hugs Cloud}
Hojo: Oh Cloud!  I thought you were dead and stuff!
Cloud: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU IDIOT NOW EVERYONE KNOWS
WHO I REALLY AM!!!!!
Yuffie: Like...wow...I'm shocked and stuff
Tifa: I can't feel my fingers...
{Sephiroth and Aeris run in}
Sephiroth: Oh hey Cloud!  I made it in time!  Look I brought the Materia!  Are we going
to destroy the world now?
Vincent: ....{shoots Hojo}
Cloud: DAMMIT SEPHIROTH!!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE RUINING THE
PLAN?!!!!!
Sephiroth: Oh...whoopsie...
Vincent: {kicks Hojo's body}
Cloud: YOU JERK!!!!  You killed my Dad!
Sephiroth: Wait...didn't I stab him?
{Another Hojo walks in}
Hojo #3: I had myself cloned incase something happened...in fact!  I cloned all of you!
Just like you told me too, Cloud!
Cloud: Thanks Dad.  Now we can sic the bad clones on the good people and distract them
while I run off and call Meteor!
Hojo #2: Sure son.  Whatever you want.
Sephiroth: But..but...but...we agreed to use the Black Materia to awaken the real me so I
wouldn't have to possess this clone!  And *then* call Meteor!
Cloud: No dammit!  I AM CALLING METEOR RIGHT NOW!!!
Sephiroth: Dad!!!!
Hojo #2: Stop your whining Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!  WHY ARE YOU HELPING CLOUD?!!!!! DON'T
YOU LOVE ME?!!!!!
Hojo #2: Of course not.  Cloud was always my favorite.
Cloud: Yep.
Tifa: {turns blue from lack of air and passes out}
Barret: D'oh!
Cid: !Q@$%!  This is really !@#$%#^@ up!!!
Sephiroth: {starts to cry} No one loves me...{sniffle}
Aeris:  I love you!
Sephiroth: {sniffle}  I know you're just saying that so I'll stop crying.  But somehow it
makes me feel better.
Cloud: You make me sick...{tackles Sephiroth and knocks him to the ground}
Sephiroth: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Cloud: GIVE ME THE MATERIA OR DIE SEPHIROTH!!!!!!
Sephiroth: NO NO NO!!! IT'S MINE!!!!! AERIS GAVE IT TO ME!!!!!
Aeris: That's right, I did!
Cloud: GODAMMIT!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE MY BROTHER POSSESSING
ONE OF HIS CLONES!!! I'M STILL GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!
Sephiroth: AHHHHHH!!!!!  WHY?!!!!  I never did anything to you!
Cloud: Mother loves you more than she loves me!  And you always got all the girls!  Why
DAMMIT?!!!!  WHY?!!!!!!  ISN'T MY HAIR JUST AS IMPOSSIBLELY COOL AS
YOURS?!!!!!  AREN'T I AS EVIL AND COLD-HEARTED AS YOU?!!!!!  I mean...I
dropped the match that started the Nibelheim fire!  Maybe you got the credit but IT WAS
MY IDEA!!!!!
Sephiroth:  HEY!!!!  I KILLED ALL THOSE SHINRA PEOPLE!!!!
Cloud: YOU MORON!!!! THAT WAS A *GOOD* THING TO DO!!!!!
Sephiroth:  IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M SO NATURALLY EVIL!!!
{Cloud and Sephiroth continue to scream things and try to kill each other.  Aeris walks
over to the others.}
Aeris: Hello!  Why are all you here?
Cid: That #**&$(*#&$( Cloud  broke my @$#$@%@% plane!
Yuffie: I like to steal materia!
Cait Sith: I'm a ShinRa spy!
Red XIII: They rescued me from Hojo.
Aeris: Really?  That nice Sephiroth Clone rescued me from Hojo too!
{Barret attempts to revive Tifa.}
Aeris: {to Vincent} What about you?
Vincent: ....
Aeris: You don't talk much, do you?
Vincent: ....
{Cloud succeeds in getting the Black Materia}
Cloud: HA HA HA!!!!  The truth is, Sephy, I was never going to awaken you!  Why
would I share God-like power with anyone?!  Tifa, Barret, Cait Sith, Yuffie, Dad Clone!
Let's go!!!  {They all run off with the Black Materia, except for Tifa.  They had to drag
her along coz she's unconscious}
Sephiroth: DAMN!!!!!  I HAD HIM!!!
Aeris: He took my materia!
Sephiroth: Don't worry.  We'll get it back.
Cid: Wait a #@#$@#$ minute here!  That little ^$%@%! abandoned us!!!!!
Red XIII:  This is a most surprising turn of events.  It appears that Cloud...is the true
villain.
Sephiroth: Well no kidding you stupid cat.
Red XIII: I am not a cat.
Sephiroth: Then well no kidding you stupid dog.
Red XIII: I am not a dog.
Sephiroth: What the hell are you then?!
Red XIII: I do not know.
Aeris: Well you can help us stop him!  We'll save the planet!
Red XIII: Isn't that what we were doing?
Vincent: ....
Cid: No you #^^#*@$-ing idiot!  We were saving the planet from Sephiroth!
Aeris: Wow with a mouth like that he should be on South Park or something.
Red XIII:  Well, what should we do about Rufus, Scarlet, those Turks, and that really fat
guy with the annoying laugh?  Should we stop them before we go after Cloud?
Sephiroth: I don't want to save the planet...I just want the Materia back.  Oh yeah, it'd be
nice to kill my brother Cloud too.
Red XII: Then we will help.
Cid:  @#**@*@!!@%@%%@%@%!@%!^%@^#%@!^#%^@!#%&@!%#  right we
will!
Vincent:  {nods} ....
Rufus: Excuse me, but are you ignoring me?  I'll have my Turks kill you!
Sephiroth: Hey, shut up!  Can't you see we're busy?
Aeris: It wouldn't be nice to kill us, silly!  We're going to save the planet from Cloud.  Do
you want to help?
Rufus: Lady, I am president of ShinRa, our motto is "We Abuse the Planet and Pass the
Savings On To You!"  Why the heck would I help you if it wasn't in my own self-
interests?  C'mon, Scarlet, Turks, Fat Guy with the annoying laugh, and you too Hojo
Clone.  We'll go home and blame AVALANCHE or something for anything bad that
happens.
Scarlet: Business as usual!  He he he he!
Vincent: ....
{They leave.}
Red XII: {turns to Sephiroth and Aeris} Perhaps we should introduce ourselves.
Vincent: Didn't we already do that?
{All stare at Vincent, open-mouthed, because he spoke.}
Vincent: Oh right.  I mean: "...."
Cid: I'm Cid Highwind.  A #%$#!$&@ good pilot!
Red XII: I am Nanaki.
Vincent:  I am Vincent Valentine.  I did not know Lucrecia had two sons...
{All stare at Vincent because he spoke}
Vincent: Are you going to do this everytime I say something?  Sheesh, and you people
wonder why I never talk!
Aeris: I'm Aeris Gainsborough!  I'm cute, and lovable, and I sell flowers.
Vincent: Er, right.
Red XIII: Well, I guess we should go after Cloud now.
Aeris: Where did that spiky-haired man go anyway?

****

{switch screens.  Cloud is walking up to the Cocoon in which the real Sephiroth is.}
Cloud:  Let's bust this thing up.
Hojo: But son...if you do that...then your brother can never be awakened!
Cloud: Exactly  {takes out his sword and starts busting stuff} Tifa, Barret, Cait Sith, and
Yuffie! Bust stuff!
Tifa: Like my dress?
Barret: D'oh!
Yuffie: Give me some Materia first!
Cait Sith: Okay Cloud!  Whatever you say!  {Cait Sith starts breaking things}
Cloud: Ahh..Cait Sith.  You shall be allowed to live.
{Caith Sith and Cloud bust up the Cocoon thing.}

****

{ Screen switch back to the others.  }
Cid: So who the #$%#@#@^!%^ are you?!
Sephiroth: I am Sephiroth.
Cid: NO #^!@%^#%!@&#%?!!!!!  REALLY?
Vincent: You are not Sephiroth.  Sephiroth is older than you are.
Sephiroth:  Well, technically I am Sephiroth Clone #445 being possessed by the spirit of
Sephiroth, but that just sounds rediculious.
Vincent:  That's right, son.  Admiting you have a problem is the first step to getting help
for it-
Aeris: I wanna make a snowman!  You can help!
Red XII: Me?
Aeris: YAH!!!
Red XII: And how do you propose I help?  I have no hands.
Aeris: You can roll with your head!
Red XII:  All right.
Sephiroth:  NO! I AM SEPHIROTH DAMMIT!!! I AM POSSESSING THE BODY OF
MY CLONE NUMBER FOUR-FOUR-FIVE BECAUSE MY REAL BODY IS
TRAPPED IN A MAKO COCOON AND CLOUD JUST BUSTED IT UP!!!!
Vincent: Do you think yelling will accomplish things faster, Sephiroth?
Sephiroth:  No...but...JUST SHUT UP!!
Aeris: Wheeeeeeee!!!!
{She makes a little snowball and Red XII pushes it around with his head to make it
larger}
Cid: Well this is pretty #^!@^&%#^@!% up.
Sephiroth: It's not fair!  JUST BECAUSE JENOVA LIKES ME BETTER CLOUD IS
BEING A LAME -
Vincent: Jenova is not your mother, you idiot!  Your mother was a beautiful woman
named Lucrecia who I loved with all my heart!
Sephiroth:  Just shut up, Vincent....or I'll kill you.
Vincent: {pistol whips him}  I don't like that attitude of yours!
Sephiroth:  Oooooooowie!!!  Why does everyone always hit me?!

****

Hojo: Hm Hm Hm...I'm not sure I approve of this, son.
Cloud: APPROVE OF THIS!!!!  {Kills Hojo}  BWA-HAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!
Cait Sith:  It appears Cloud has gone crazy!  Wah hoo!!!!!
Cloud: I call for Meteor!!!
{A sudden explosion is  heard.  The Weapons all escape.  There's Ultima, Ruby,
Emerald, Cubic Zirconia, Aquamarine...(does anyone else think the Weapons have the
stupidest names?)}

****

Cid: What the #@*@$* is going on?!
Sephiroth: Cloud's called for Meteor!  We have to get out of here!
Vincent: Where do you propose we go?
Sephiroth: On the ShinRa plane!
{They run, grabbing Aeris and Red XIII.  After somehow getting on and then off the
plane without being seen, they're sitting in Junon deciding what to do next.}
Cid: Well @^#^@%%, Cloud called for Meteor and locked himself up in that crater.
Now how do we get to him?
{Cait Sith runs over to them}
Sephiroth:  Cat Sith?!  How'd you get here?!
Cait Sith:  CAIT Sith!  MY NAME IS CAIT NOT CAT!!!
Aeris: Whoa...don't go wiggy on us like Cloud did.
Cait Sith:  Me an' Tifa an' Barret an' Yuffie are handing out these things for Cloud!
WHOOOOOOOOO!  Here you go!  {hands them each a piece of paper, and stuffs Red
XII's on his headband.  Then he bounces off on that big ol' Mog}
Aeris: Bye-bye Mr. Kitty Plushie!
Cid: What the #@&#^&*@$^&#@*^$ hell is this?!
Red XII: I can't read mine...
Aeris: {snatches the paper off of Red XII and reads it} Oooooooooooooooh a party!
Cloud invited us to a party!  Isn't that NICE of him?!  What a SWELL guy!
{everyone stares at her}
Sephiroth: I'm beginning to think I know why there are so few Ancients left.
Cid: No kidding...that's one confused kid.
{Everyone gasps because Cid spoke a sentence without swearing}
Cid: Oh #@*$&@# you all!
Sephiroth: {reads} "Hello People, (and you too Sephiroth).  You are invited to my Pre-
Apocoliptic-Meteor Party.  We'll have a bonfire, and roast MOGs, Sephiroth Clones, and
baaaaaaadly dubbed anime!  I'll be ending the evening by gloating about how easily I
defeated you.  Signed:  Your Favorite Psychopathic Lifestream Destroyer/Soon to be a
God, Cloud.  P.S. It's BYO Flamethrower.  P.P.S. I won you lost.  NYAH NYAH
NYAH!!!"
Cid: That @#!&@^$*&!@^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: You said it, Cid.  Of course, he could burn #118.  She scares the crap out of
me...
Aeris: I didn't get to finish my snowman, Sephy-chan!
Sephiroth: Your snowman?
Vincent: "Sephy-chan"?
Aeris: {hysterical giggles}
Vincent: I think there's something wrong with that girl.
Red XII: Indeed.
Aeris: {hysterical giggles}  Oh Sephy-chan!  We'll be happy together in our last moments
before Meteor smashes us all!
Sephiroth: {eyes widened}  Hey wait a minute-
Cid: Yeah!  We're going to stop that ^&^*(&(*& meteor!  And that
^#^(*&@(*#$&(#*@& Cloud!
Aeris:  {latches on to Sephiroth}  NO!  I don't want my Sephy-chan to get hurt!
Sephiroth: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET IT OFF!!!!!  GET IT OFF!!!!!
{He thrashes madly as Aeris clings to him, grinning madly.  Vincent, Cid, and Red XII
stare.}
Vincent: Dear God...
Cid: Well this is pretty #^!@^&%#^@!% up.
Red XII: Indeed.
Sephiroth: DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!  {stops}  Wait a minute...are you Sephiroth Clone
#118 in disguese?
Aeris: {starts to sob}  Don't you LOVE me?!!!!  {bawls and hugs tighter}
Sephiroth: GOD WOMAN!!!!!!!  DON'T DO THAT!!!!!  I...can't...breathe...
Vincent:  {Left eye twitches}  There are more Sephiroth clones?
Sephiroth: Yes but only the faulty ones survived.
{Just then the clones come in.  #662 now has an over-coat on}
#662:  #118 made me put on some clothes...{Pout}
#118: OH HELLO #445!!!!!!!
Sephiroth:  WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!!!
Cid: Excuse me, I'm the one who's supposed to cuss people out.
#118:  We can find you anyway, #445!!  I have cute little honeys radar!
Vincent:  Erk!
Red XIII:  "Erk"?
Vincent: Sorry...that's the only frightened noise I can make.  Erk!
Red XIII: Oh.  That explains it!  Erk away, then!
Vincent: {looks at #118} Erk!!
Cid: Amen, Brudder.  Amen!
Sephiroth: To hell with this!  {cue wierd screen effect.  Vincent goes very still.}
Aeris: Oh hi Sephiroth clones!  We met earlier, remember?
#662: Of course, dear!  You're the one that gasped when my fig leaf fell off.
#118: YOU!!!!  You better keep your hands off my #445!!!  HE'S MINE!!!!
{#118 runs over towards #445}
#445: {blink blink action}  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris:  NO HE'S MY SEPHY-CHAN!!!!
{#118 and Aeris chase #445 around "Vincent", #662, Red XII, and Cid}
"Vincent":  Cid, we must kill that Sephiroth clone.
Cid: Which !@*$&(*!@$&! clone?!!!!!  There's three #@%!^% clones!!!!
"Vincent": The scary female one.  Something are just too evil to live, you know?  Then
we have to get the other clones on our side.  That way we'll have more people to fight
against my bro-...I mean against Cloud.  And we'll crash that party and kill him.
Cid: Uh, Vincent?  We were invited.
"Vincent": ...I know, but crashing is a more evil thing to do.
Cid: Evil?  Do you feel all right, you #@*&$*(@#&$?
"Vincent": um, "..."
Cid: Er, right.  %^&$# to you to.
#445: SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!
Aeris: {girlish giggle}  He's so cute!