The angel sighed and took of his glasses. Placing them down on the
podium in front of him, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and then glared.
"So. What do you have to say in defense of this...'life' you led?"
"What do you mean?" The young man before him asked. He blinked in
confusion and peered at the angelic being. "I don't understand. Is this
Heaven?"
The angel waved his hand. "Look at this," he gestured to a book.
"Look at your life. Look at all the things you did."
"Well... I mean I know I wasn't a noble person," the man said slowly.
"I mean, I made a lot of mistakes... but I learned from those mistakes.
I grew from them. Maybe I didn't solve the problem of straving nations
or find a cure for cancer, but I wasn't a bad person. I was faithful to
my girlfriend. I was there when my friends needed help. I tried to treat
everyone with respect, even when they didn't give me any in return."
The angel looked unimpressed. The man sighed. "Look, I don't
understand why I have to justify my life. I mean, I'm not a bad person.
I never killed anyone, I obeyed the laws. I don't understand why I'm here.
It's not like I ever drop-kicked a puppy. I mean, I died before I had the
chance to really do anything evil."
The angel slammed the book shut and glared down the bridge of his
nose at the man. "Exactly. You lived a good life and you were a good
person. You're in the wrong place."
"Wrong place?"
"You know. Hell. H-E-double-hockey sticks. I'm Lucifer."
"...Excuse me?"
Lucifer cleared his throat. "It doesn't matter. It's clear
that this has been some sort of computing error. I have told Him and
told Him... God, buddy, you need to update. Windows 3.0 just isn't
cutting it anymore. Of course we've been using Windows 98 down here
since they put out the bug-free version. We're still having a few
problems with it."
"..."
"You should have seen it on January first," the angel continued.
"It was massive chaos. Souls all in purgatory till they could get the
Y2K bugs sorted out..." he clicked on a few keys. "Hang on, I'll
just opened up my hotmail account and send up an email to let them
know you're coming."
"Windows 3.0?" the man gasped. "Why don't they just use macs?"
Lucifer gave him a sharp look. "A little word of advice, buddy.
You're a clean-cut kid. Your soul is pretty straight. Don't screw that
up. Whatever you do, do not mention macs up there. Michael has stock in
Mircosoft."
cdr
9:27 pm 00/03/15
=====
Started by John Evans
johne@mit.edu
The Sunburst Project, Week 2
http://www.mit.edu/~johne/btr/sbp/
3/23/00