Being Older Chapter 1:

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, You're it.
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Doc Who.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and forget why you're there.
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical recliners.

Being Older Chapter 2:

SIGNS OF WEAR

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes & you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

A sexy babe catches your fancy & your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

"Getting a little action" means there's no need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN.....

An "all-nighter" means not getting up to go to the bathroom.