Hi there...this is me. Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains.
I love being a babe hound. Girls make spit roll down my chin.





This is my mom. She has lots of boyfriends. One of them even has a job.





This is my brother Hank. He is in jail right now.
When he gets out he is not allowed to be around animals and kitchen appliances.





My grandma lives with us in our trailer. She smells real bad.
She likes to hang out in bars and drink beer.





My mom says she is almost positive this is my dad.
He lives in a Federal Penitentiary in Montana.
When he gets out in 55 years we are going fishing.






This is my dad’s truck.
The bloodstains inside are almost all gone.





My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking an eggbeater after
mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident.





We are proud of my older brother Barney.
He is only 27 and all ready in the 4th grade.
He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name.





My half brother JimBob and his wife. She is a hottie.
They raise Possum in their back yard.
They are not allowed to have children.





This is my older sister Sue Ellen. She has 15 kids and they all look different.
We depend on her welfare check to get by. She has a disease that makes her itch.





Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway.
He once went 53 days without taking a bath.





This is Michael. He used to be my best friend but got killed by a
bus on the interstate. I still wear his underwear.





These are 2 kids we throw stuff at. There used to be 3 of them.
Mom says we can't throw heavy stuff any more.





Jake holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers.
Jake crashed a lot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear a helmet.





This is my Uncle Marky. He sells perfume in a department store and
my mom says if I study real hard in school I can become just like him.