heavy

9-1-98

heavy is my heart as i close my eyes...

the memories wheigh heavy on my soul as they drift accross the canvas of my mind...

slowly slipping into unconsciousness, i loose control over my emotions...

i cry out and reach for someone who isnt there...

only an empty space and cold sheets...

i am tormented by the unknown and mocked by the past...

looming shadows and jeering faces...

ghostly shadows that haunt my most private of hideaways...

no one can find me here, no rescue for my soul...

i am left to my own devices which are feeble at best...

something tugs at my awareness...

someone perhaps, lingering on the edge of oblivion...

throwing aside all reservations, i am dancing with wild abandon....

the mist swirls around my legs, rising to the heavens...

the stars are close enough to touch as they twinkle in my minds eye...

glowing brightly, they seem to breath hope into a world filled with fear and uncertanty....

the stars begin to fade away...

the mist slowly dissipates...

i become aware once again of the empty space and cold sheets and the heavyness under my breast....