Terry Funk: Hello Folks or people whichever you interpret it to be. Welcome to the JCW Pay-Per-View Jugga-Slam. Now tonight we got a great line up of hardcore action as always and other shit, the main event Raven Vs. Inferno for all the freakin' marbles. We have the Triple Crown Title Match we got a crowd Favorite Jamie Madrox going in action against Told You So Alex Simon. What a line up let's get to the first action of the night down in the ring.
[ Swinging The Dead By. DevilDriver hits as the curtian flys open and Mike makes his way out grinning as he looks at the belt suspended above He walks to the ring as suddenly...]
[("All My Friend Crush You" played by Neurotica as Dane Hayward walked out to the stage, pose to the crowd and made on his way to the ring.)]
[Suddenly before the bell rings Billy Kidman walks out and speaks.]
Kidman: Since Vampiro has left me in charge and I dont think you guys are worth it I am having security remove the Tables and Chairs... this is now a ladder match! Oh, Enjoy!
Suddenly the security removes the tables and chairs as Mike goes at Dane and they exchange blows. Dane stops and calls time out and Mike laughs. Dane goes to look at a snail in the ring and tries to step on it. Mike hits a leg sweep then finishes Dane off with a Shit Kicker. 1..2..3.. Then Mike uses the Vulcan Mind Trick on Dane and Dane meows like a cat. (Inside Joke) Mike laughs and walks off.
Poem By Taproot plays and Simon comes out to boos, he gets in the ring and waits for his oppenent Jamie Madrox
Jamie Madrox comes out from behind Alex with a steel chair knocking him down. The bell rings as the Referee Jake Schoville takes the chair away from Madrox telling him to please refrain using foreign objects.
Madrox drops the steel chair at the Juggaloes approval. Madrox picks up Simon by the hair and Simon hits Madrox square in the voice box, Simon hits a quick neckbreaker and then goes for the quick pin trying to get it over with. 1...2..kickout by Madrox at 2 and a half. Simon slams his hands down on the mat as Madrox gets up and does a nice school boy 1...2.kickout by Simon at 2. Too early for any kind of pins in this type of high paced match up. Simon gets up and delievers a nice high clothesline and then hits a quick leg drop across the throat of Madrox. Simon picks up Madrox and hits an Ace Crusher. Simon gets on the second rope and comes off with an elbow drop that catches Madrox in the chest cavity. Simon pins arrogantly with one arm over the chest of Madrox and his hand up in the air with one finger up to represent "he's number one" 1....2..kickout by Madrox at 2 and a half. Simon gets up and stomps his feet up and down clapping his hand in a signal for a faster count. He stomps on Madrox's limp body and then picks him up and gets a quick flury of punches. Madrox puts him inbetween his legs for a piledriver but Simon reverses and hits a nice back drop. Madrox gets up fast and gets on the shoulders of Simon and applies a nice and tight sleeperhold. Simon falls on his back crushing Madrox. Simon gets up and poses on the turnbuckle. All of a sudden "Set It Off" By Snoop Dogg hits and....TTSA COMES OUT! He has with him a wooden baseball bat. TTSA slides into the ring and goes for a hard hit to Madrox to the back. Madrox rolls out of the way so TTSA turns around and blasts Simon in the head with all his might. TTSA then starts to stomp the holy hell outta Madrox and then knocks the total wind out of Madrox with a hit to the back, full frontal force. TTSA gets on the second turnbuckle and flips the bird to the crowd. Everyone is in disbelief as TTSA sees Security he runs out of the ring sliding underneath the bottom ring rope. The match is called a disqualification and there is no winner.
Terry Funk: man what a match, defines a classic like what happened in XPW. Man good times. Oh yeah, that Juggalo-Hater TTSA came out there and fucked things up pretty damn bad, too bad for our competitors tonight in the first match. Damn shame, oh well, let's go on to the Triple Crown Title Match which should be explosive none the fuckin' less. Ahhh, let's set back here with a cold one as some more fuckin' action outfolds here in JCW. And when I say one I mean many more followin' dat one.
Take It by The ICP hits and Vampiro comes out with a few of his buddies the Kendo Stick. Vampiro gets in the ring and takes a look around and then waits for his oppenents.
Trapt by Headstrong Blares throught the arena and Jason Styles one half of the Tag Team Champions comes out to the ring looking for that Triple Crown Title gold. He goes around the ring waiting for his oppenent Crucifix while keeping a sharp eye on one of his other enemies Vampiro.
Smotherd by SpineShank hits and Crucifix comes out to the ring with two Kendo Sticks in each hand. He runs down to the ring but is stopped in his tracks as "Like a Pimp" By David Banner plays out comes some black guy wearing an old trench coat. He sits down near Funk with a bottle of something in a paper bag. Crucifix sighs as he gets in the ring and is meant with a cane shot to the head. The bell rings.
Terry Funk: What the hell are you doing here? Who the fuck are ya?
Kat: Sorry I be late Nigg. Yeah, this be this nickar named Kat. nat's right Nickars, straight outta compton with a 40 in each hand. I wanna give a shot out to my baby momma's Real Daddy that be turnin' the ripe age of 24 today. I want to give another shout out to mah nigg watchin' in dat prison you know who he be, he be dat crazy playa named Three Pac, much love homie.
Terry Funk: Hell I must be really wasted, so this won't hurt.
Funk grabs the bottle from Kat and takes a huge drink
Kat: Nat be da shiznay, ahh Funky Boy? Dat right, you drink dat shit. Ahhhh, boy can Drink Nigg.
Terry Funk: This is Peppermint Snopz, good shit Kat.
Kat: Ya'll know it Funk Da Punk, ha ha!
Vampiro takes another few shots to the head and back of Crucifix and then drops the Cane and then works over Stylez with some elbows and then finishes him off with a nice stiff arm clothesline. Vampiro gets hit in the back of the head from Crucifix, Cru picks up Vampiro and whips him fast into the ropes, Jason gets up with Cane in hand, he blasts it in the ribs of Vampiro, the sheer impact from the blow knocks Vampiro down holding his rib cage. Jason and Cru battle, Cru kicks Jason in the gut and then excutes a single arm ddt. He pins 1...2..interrupted by Vampiro. Vampiro picks up Stylez and does a nice fast thinking Sky High 1...2..Cru gets in an elbow to the back of Vamp's head to stop the pinning combination. Vampiro holds his head and gets up and knocks Cru to his knees with a huge Cane shot. Stylez gets up in the meanwhile and does a sliding dropkick to the back of Vampiro which of course floors Vamp. Stylez starts to pick up Cru by his head but Cru gets a low punch near the groin area and then he gets in a snap suplex on a kendo stick. Vampiro in the meantime gets up and slams the Kendo Stick over the back of Stylez breaking it. Crucifix pins and Vampiro quickly and assurinly breaks up the pin and then stomps on both competitors. Vampiro sees Stylez stir and then goes for a devastating Cane shot but misses and hits the ropes creating a rickashay which gets the effect of Vampiro hitting himself in the head with the Cane. Vampiro falls down bloody from his own mistake. Cru pins him 1...2..Stylez does a quick splash messing up the pinning predicament. Vampiro gets up and puts Jason in the ropes and then picks up a Cane and snaps it over the throat of StyleZ!!!!
Kat: Dat be da shit right 'nare Funky! Ha Ha! Dat crazy Vamp be fuckin' shit up wit dat awesome shot to da throat, niggains be goin' crazy dawg.
Terry Funk: I don't know what the fuck you just said to me and that's why I'm glad I have this bottle of boos you brought to make me understand that I don't have to.
Vampiro pins Stylez. 1...2..kickout by Stylez at 2 and one half. Cru gets up and starts stomping the living hell out of Vampiro in the corner. Stylez gets up weary and broken, he picks up a Cane as his only weapon and wraps it around the throat of Crucifix, He then flights backwards in a Tiger Suplex with the Kendo Stick!!! he drops the pinning and then Stylez goes to the ropes and gets on the top turnbuckle, he comes off and hits Vampiro with a Moonsault!! Pin by Stylez!! 1...2....3!! Your winner and new Triple Crown Champion...Jason Stylez!
Terry Funk: Wow, what a match! They gave it their all and now you see Jason Stylez the winner and new Triple Crown Champion, weird shit, eh Kat?
Kat: Ya'll Funk be crazier than a muthafucka, the nickars back in Compton would love ya humour Diggity Dawg.
Terry Funk: Next up we got this preformance from this band, I never heard of 'em but here they are none the fuckin' less.
Suddenly the crowd goes wild as the screen shots to the stage where Evenescence is playing without Paul McCoy of 12 Stones. But nevertheless a big pop for the band.
how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home
(Suddenly Paul McCoy comes out and sings)
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become
now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
(Bring me to life)
I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside
(Bring me to life)
[Come Out And Play hits as Inferno is making his way to the ring. Raven slides in the ring and the bell rings and Raven goes for a Evenflow DDT immediatly buit fumbles and Inferno turns it into a back drop. but Raven tries to turn it into a Tornado DDT but they both fall into the Cell as it finally drops. Raven gets to his feet and so does Inferno Raven hits Inferno with a couple of right hands and Inferno awnsers back with right hands of his own. Inferno grabs the back of Raven's hair and slams Raven's face into the cold unforgiving steel. Inferno kicks the lock off the cell and throws Raven outside and into the steel barricade. Inferno begins to climb to the top of the cell as Raven looks on. ]
Kat: Nis' be crazy shit!!
Terry Funk: Fuckin' Right for all the marbles.
[Raven begins to climb after and finally asd Raven reaches the top Inferno tries to kick at Raven's hands to send him flying. Raven fights his way up while Inferno continues to lay the boots to Raven now at his ribs. Inferno picks Raven up and grabs his waist to devliver a 3x Powerbomb the fans count every time Raven's back hits the steel (1...2...3...) Suddenly the top beging to give way and in that spot the cage sags. Inferno steps back waiting on Raven and Raven begins to stand up walking forward yet slumped over Inferno runs at Raven and hits a flying DDT the cage breaks and both men fall towards the ring below. The Referee waits as both men are unconcious for several minutes. Suddenly the cage lifts just about 2 feet and out runs Taz and Vampiro. They all run into the ring and the cage shuts again. Inferno begins to get up but sees he is now outnumbered.]
Kat: Nis Nickar Crazed or some weird shit, he got some mental prob but dat how we do it on da street, in numbas, NICKAR!!
[Raven starts to move and he's shaking his head no he is pointing to the back telling them to get lost they open the cage as the 3 leave the cage and the cage shuts down. Raven looks at Inferno and Inferno is shocked. But not letting Raven gain energy Inferno lunges at Raven with a desperation move... clothesline. Both men fall down but Raven is getting up from the weak clothesline. Inferno begins to get up and Raven is getting up Inferno suddenly pulls a Meltdown from nowhere 1..2...3... cage comes up and the 3 men Taz, Vampiro run back in and corner Inferno Raven concerned about getting the World Title is letting them do there business. Vampiro walks over to Trish and hits the Final Nail In The Coffin on Trish. Taz puts the boots to her and Raven is fighting off Inferno. Inferno turns around sees them attacking Trish and his face begins to turn red until all the white is out of his face and his face is now crimson red with rage. Inferno runs over attacks Vampiro with a belly to belly overhead suplex. Inferno then hits Taz with the same move as they both lay motionless He finally turns to Raven hits the Belly to Belly Overhead Suplex then puts him in the Meltdown grins and keeps attacking Raven and as Taz and Vampiro begin to get up Inferno runs off with Trish pissed off. As Deadpool try to recoup 3 men run out. a guy dressed as Mike Myers, Freddy and Jason Vorhees they attack all 3 men, Taz and Vampiro escape but then all 3 start to attack Raven. They take there masks off Mike Myers is CM Punk and Jason is Jason Stylez and Freddy is AJ Stylez CM tells the Stylez bros. to leave as CM Punk looks at Raven and finishes him off with a Pepsi Plunge. CM Punk spits on Raven then walks off.]
Kat: This shit crazy again Nickar! Freds and Jase, what some whack shit.
Terry Funk: Your weird ass is telling me, well ya'll tune into Smokeout to see what happens with all this shit. This is Funk saying drink as much as you want but always puke in the bathroom.
The PPV goes off the air as the turmoil is felt all over the arena.
End Notes: Thanks for WIll and me doin' this so people can see the PPV for what it's all like without all the bitchin' and contraversay that was put into it. I hope ya'll like it even though some of it was rushed *looks at Will* lol, it's all good.