Michael Moore, outspoken liberal director of the Academy Award winning mockumentary Bowling for Columbine, has announced plans to aim his guns at “Fergies Fathouse.” Moore plans to use similar tactics to those used in Bowling: errant facts, sensationalist demonstrations, over-edited interviews, etc., in his expose´ of America’s popular weight loss program.

“Twinky” Moore, as his crew has come to call him, experienced a traumatic childhood, being constantly mocked for his weight problem. In true Moore fashion, Begging for Cheesecake will expose Weight Watchers as a capitalist pickpocket, robbing poor helpless fat people of food and money. Being overweight, Begging will claim, is society’s fault, and programs like Weight Watchers serve no purpose other than to mock overweight people who can do nothing about their condition.

Begging for Cheesecake will closely resemble Moore’s previous work in that facts will be distorted and sensitivities exploited in order to trick the audience into hating Weight Watchers. As Bowling accuses gun owners of being nothing more than fearful rednecks, Begging will accuse healthy people of making the unhealthy overweight. Rather than focusing on the problem of dedication and willpower, Begging will expose people like Monica Lewinsky and Sarah Ferguson as being members of a vast government conspiracy to trick citizens into believing in its pocket corporations.

Set to hit theatres nationwide in late August, Begging for Cheesecake will include such features as interviews with Rosie O’Donnell, Tom Arnold and the late Chris Farley, as well as exercises in which Moore does not exercise, but rather eats...and eats...and eats. One highlight of what Moore calls his “favorite documentary” is the demonstration organized by Moore and several of his fat friends; demonstrators will return bags full of spoons and buckets of Ben & Jerry’s to 7-Eleven stores across the country, accusing the corporation of making its patrons fat.

Parts of Begging follow the recent lawsuit in New York in which an overweight youth and his family sued the McDonald’s corporation for his weight problem. The child was found to have eaten at McDonald’s restaurants multiple times each week, consuming numerous Big Macs, french fries and milkshakes. The lawsuit accused the McDonald’s corporation of not taking responsibility for its consumers’ weight problems brought on by eating McDonald’s food. The case was recently dismissed.

Moore expects Begging for Cheesecake to be an even bigger hit than Bowling for Columbine thanks to his recent media attention. Moore spent his Oscar acceptance speech berating President George W. Bush and Operation Iraqi Freedom, including references to the 2000 presidential elections. Moore considers four recounts all finding Bush the winner in Florida to be “a fictition.”

Those suspicious of Moore’s work characterize his newest film as another example of Moore’s fanaticism. They say he is doing nothing more than fulfilling the old saying: “Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming spoons for Rosie O’Donnell being fat.”