Megan was the first to wake up, and she noticed immediately that the lifeboat wasn't rocking back and forth any more. Looking over the side, she saw that it was resting on the edge of a beautiful, sandy beach.

"Woohoo! We're in the Bahamas after all!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Lindsay asked sleepily.

"Can we go swimming now?" Erica asked.

"Swimming?" Jenny asked, puzzled.

"We're on a beach. Why not go swimming?"

"Whatever."

"So, let's go scope out this island," Breanna suggested.

"The freshmen are trying to control everything again," Lindsay whispered to Jenny.

"You're paranoid," Megan whispered to Lindsay.

"As opposed to you?"

Finally, everybody got out of the boat and started walking. It was actually a rather nice island, somewhat round, fairly small, with a thick jungle surrounding a volcano in the middle and a stream running down one side. They stayed out of the jungle, walking on the strip of sandy beach.

"Look!" Derek exclaimed just as they were about to cross the stream.

"Yeah, it is wet," Megan said sarcastically.

"No, out on the ocean. There's something floating towards the island."

"Is someone coming to rescue us?" Erica asked excitedly.

"That's weird," Breanna said, looking at the black speck. "It looks almost like an instrument case."

"Oh, wow," said Lindsay. "You mean we can have band even when we're stranded on a desert island? My wildest dreams have come true."

"It's really big, though," Megan noted. "Maybe it's not a case."

"Or it could be a tuba case," Breanna suggested.

"But tuba cases aren't that big, are they?"

Actually, as they found out when it washed up on the beach, it was a tuba case. More specifically, it was a sousaphone case with something (or someone) banging on the inside.

"Maybe we should open it," Lindsay said.

"But what if Mr. Mullins is inside?" Erica asked. "He's the only person I can think of who's weird enough to hide in a tuba case."

"Actually, it looks kinda like Alex's case," Lindsay noted.

"Okay, so maybe Mr. Mullins stole Alex's case and hid in it."

While Lindsay and Erica were busy arguing about whether or not Mr. Mullins might be in the tuba case, Breanna and Megan opened it, discovering that, while their evil band director wasn't in it, someone else was...

"Alex?" Lindsay said, surprised to see her brother floating ashore in a tuba case.

"Hey, it's better than Mr. Mullins," Derek pointed out.

"Maybe we should put you in the tuba case, lock it, and throw it into the ocean," Megan said, glaring at him. "Or, since we're on an island now, we can vote you off."

"What's going on?" Alex asked.

"Right now, absolutely nothing. Later, though, we're going to hold a tribal council and form back-stabbing alliances."

Nobody laughed at Megan's stupid jokes. You could hear the (presumably) carnivorous crickets chirping loudly in the silence.

"What's up with you and the stupid Survivor jokes, anyway?" Breanna asked finally.

"Well, you know, we're on an island," she explained. "It makes sense to me."

"I thought you didn't watch Survivor."

"I didn't. Which would you rather have, Survivor jokes or Titanic jokes?"

"Am I the only one who hears those drums?" Alex wondered aloud.

"Probably," Erica said.

The drums in question were faint, but definitely getting louder, and the beat was very familiar to the seven Marching Poodles.

"Those drums are beating cadence!" Jenny exclaimed. "Freaky..."

"Cadence is awesome," Erica said for no particular reason.

"So did the drum line get shipwrecked here, too?" Megan asked. "And why do I feel this sudden urge to play 'Perro Caliente'?"

"If only we had our instruments," Breanna said sadly.

Megan muttered something under her breath about brass players.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing."

"I'm sure. So, who wants to go check out what's going on with the drums?"

Everybody raised their hands, and the small group started walking (*not* marching) through the jungle, in the general direction of the drumbeats.

Suddenly, a cage fell down, trapping Lindsay, Alex, and Megan. Another fell down on top of Derek and Jenny, and Breanna and Erica were beneath a third.

"Are you guys all right?" Breanna called out.

"I think so!" Lindsay replied.

"Yeah," Jenny said.

"So...I guess we're just hanging around here till whoever made these cages comes back."

"Is there really another option?"

"Let's play I Spy!" Derek suggested.

"If I could reach you, I'd beat you with something. Will you hit him for me, Jenny?"

"Why would I hurt my friend Derek just because you asked, Megan?"

She shrugged. "Hey, it never hurts to ask."

"I think the drums are getting louder," Alex said.

"What is it with you and the drums?" Erica asked.

"I don't know, but they're getting louder."

"Hey, I think Alex is right. For once," Megan commented.

"What do you mean, 'for once'?"

"You're never right."

"I hate to break up your argument," Breanna interrupted, "but I think something's about to happen."

Just after she said this, some more people came into the clearing where their cages were.

The first group was rather sunburnt and clad only in rags, but they marched neatly in formation. Behind them, a few familiar drum line members were carrying drums and were tied together with vines wrapped around their ankles.

"Drummers?" Megan said, clearly surprised. "Drummers came up with a halfway decent idea?"

"Obviously, they had French horns to help them." That was Breanna. "Or at least someone who doesn't play flute."

"Oh, thanks, Breanna. Just insult the flutists to hide the fact that all brass players are stupid. And the saxophones," she added just for the heck of it.

"Hey!" Erica exclaimed. "Sax players are *not* stupid!"

"While you're all insulting each other's intelligence," said one of the first drummers, "we need to carry you back to our village, if that's all right with you."

"Do we have a choice?" Breanna asked rhetorically as most of the Marching Poodles brass line walked in, bound together like the drummers.

"You are to be our sacrifice to the volcano," a girl explained as four trumpets picked up the cage.

"It's all Mr. Mullins's fault," Erica complained as they were carried through the jungle. "He came up with the idea to go on this stupid cruise. Why couldn't we go somewhere normal, like Florida?"

"Technically, we did go to Florida," Derek pointed out.

"Weird stuff happens wherever we go, though," Megan argued. "Even when we're at home."

"It usually just happens to you," Breanna commented.

"Yeah, but it still happens."

"Plus, you spread it to everybody around you."

"That is so not true. If it was, then Alex wouldn't be here. And besides, the whole Oz thing was DeeDee's fault, because she ran into the trailer first."

"And yet, everybody else followed her."

"Maybe we should just blame everything on Mr. Mullins," Jenny suggested. "After all, he didn't let us wait for the flutes when we were escaping the tornado, and he's the one who booked the cruise."

"Clearly, it's all an evil plot to try to get rid of everybody," Megan decided. "Seriously, though, what if this shipwreck was deliberately engineered just to get us out of the way?"

"What, you mean so that Mullins could have a good band? I think he'd need to get a new job for that to happen."

"Yeah, or it could be the latest reality TV series: a vicious war between marching band sections stranded on an island. I'd watch it."

"Only band nerds like you would watch it, though, and ratings would plummet after the first episode."

"Hey, there's a lot more band nerds than you might think. We'll take over the world someday."

"That's a scary thought. Even scarier than being thrown into the volcano."

"I don't want to be sacrificed to a volcano!" Erica complained.

"Don't worry, they have to fatten you up first," said Zack, one of the Poodles' drummers.

"Oh, that's reassuring," Megan said sarcastically. "The volcano only wants well-fed band members."

"Actually," commented Megan, another drummer, "it only wants well-fed wind players or guard members. It likes the drum line and the pit. Here's your food." She handed each of them a box of animal crackers.

"Traitor," Megan muttered as the other Megan walked away. "She thinks she's so special just 'cause she doesn't have to play the flute during marching band."

"Yes!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Animal crackers! This place rocks!"

"Woohoo! Animal crackers! I love animal crackers!"

"What's up with the animal crackers?" Breanna wondered.

"You wouldn't get it," Jenny said. "It's a woodwind thing."

"It is?" Megan said.

"Uh, yeah. Where have you been?"

"Obviously not eating animal crackers."

"Look! It's a camel!"

"Where? I don't see a camel."

"Because I just ate it."

"I wonder what we're supposed to eat?" Megan asked Breanna.

"I don't know; they're eating all the animal crackers."

"Too bad there's no coconuts or anything."

"There probably are, we just can't reach them because we're in cages."

"Oh. Good point."

"Why are Lindsay and Jenny so quiet all of a sudden?"

"Where are Lindsay, Jenny, Erica, and Derek, anyway?" Megan wondered, looking around. "And where did those animals come from?" She was referring to a black cat in the cage with her and Alex, a chocolate Lab and a monkey in Jenny and Derek's cage, and a golden retriever in with Breanna. Coincidentally enough, Megan noted, the four that were missing had been the only ones to eat their animal crackers.

Breanna must've been thinking the same thing, because she looked at Megan and said, "Is there a connection here, or is it just me?"

"It's just you."

"Very funny."

"Actually, I was noticing that, too."

"Noticing what?" Alex asked.

"That only the people who ate their animal crackers disappeared."

"Oh."

"Ooh!" Megan exclaimed. "I have an idea! What if the animal crackers were enchanted to turn whoever ate them into animals?"

"This isn't one of your Harry Potter books, Megan, it's real life."

"Oh, so I guess it can't be like The Odyssey, and an evil enchantress person turned them into animals."

"No, probably not."

"So what's your explanation?"

"Err..." Breanna sweatdropped. "I don't really know."

"Any other ideas?" She waited for a moment, then decided that Alex wasn't going to say anything. "Well, I say we go with my hypothesis."

"Right, because it's so rational."

"Hey, you couldn't come up with anything better."

"Good point."

"So," Megan continued, "if this is like The Odyssey, we should be able to talk to them like they were still human, and get one of them to slip through the bars and go for help or something."

"Why not just get them to let us go?"

"Hey, good idea. Derek?"

The monkey (Derek) looked up from a banana.

"Would you mind letting us out?"

He nodded, then ran out of the cage and got to work on the knots holding the door closed. After a few minutes, it swung open, and Megan walked out.

"Looks safe," she said. "Now, let's get Breanna out."

"Alex, you stay here," Breanna decided once she was free. "Megan and I will go look for whoever did this."

"So I'm going to be a sacrifice?"

Megan shrugged. "Sounds good to me."

"Okay...molten lava doesn't sound too painful."

"Don't worry; we'll be back before they throw you in. Hopefully."

"Come on, guys," Breanna said, walking back into the jungle. Megan and the animals/people followed her (again).

"Where are we going, oh brave and glorious leader?" Megan asked.

"I don't know. I though you knew."

"Nope. Why would I know? I get lost easily."

"So we're just walking in circles again?"

"Let's see..." Megan mused. "If I was an evil enchantress, where would I hide?"

"Somewhere that isn't on a desert island."

"Well, yeah, but where on a desert island might she hide?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure that we'll find a sign saying 'This Way To The Evil Witch/Enchantress's Place'."

"Or flying monkeys."

"What?"

"You wouldn't get it."

"Obviously."

"Where is the volcano, anyway?"

"Umm...I'd be willing to bet that it's that big mountain in the middle of the island that's smoking ominously."

"That's always a good guess."

"Yeah."

They slowly started wandering in the general direction of the volcano.

"Do you think Alex will be thrown into the volcano?" Megan asked after awhile.

"Probably."

"Oh, darn."

"You seem concerned."

Megan shrugged. "He's just another tuba player."

"Whatever you say, Megan."

She didn't reply, but Breanna could see that she was blushing.

"I thought you were over him."

"Uhh..." Megan sweatdropped. "Sort of. If I was over him, would I have called his room and hung up immediately?"

"How would I know? You do some weird things at times, Megan."

"Well, yeah, but even I wouldn't call someone I didn't like and hang up on him. That's just really weird."

"And you aren't?"

Suddenly, they came into yet another clearing. This one contained a small house, several animals, and gently wafting oboe music.

"You know, I bet we've just found that evil enchantress chica," Megan said.

"Badly played oboe music? That's supposed to entice us?" Breanna commented.

"Owww," Megan complained as the oboe squeaked loudly. "Maybe it's supposed to be a form of torture."

"Could be. Let's go check it out." As Breanna said this, the evil person herself came out.

"Are you related to the Evil Drum Major of the West?" Megan asked.

Breanna glared at her.

"What? She looks just like the Evil Drum Major did before she melted."

"I see some of you managed to escape my enchanted animal crackers," said the Evil Enchantress. "You may call me...Zelda. That's not my real name, but it doesn't really matter."

"I bet your real name is--"

"You must be hungry after such a long walk. Come in, and I'll feed you."

"We may be freshmen, but we aren't that stupid," Breanna informed "Zelda". "We'll eat, but only if you promise not to use magic on us."

"Magic!" Zelda laughed. "When have I ever used magic?"

"You just admitted to giving our friends enchanted animal crackers, for one thing."

"Oh, good point. Fine. I promise I won't use any magic on you. Are you happy now?"

"No, not really. Could you turn our friends back into humans, please?"

"But they're so much quieter this way," Megan protested. Breanna glared at her again. "What? They are."

"You're demanding," Zelda said.

"I know."

"The answer is no, by the way."

"Why not?" Breanna asked.

She shrugged. "I don't feel like it."

"That's a stupid reason."

"Would you like to be turned into an animal, too?"

"You promised you wouldn't."

"True, but I could always go back on my word."

"And Megan and I could always leave."

"Go right ahead. Your little friends will be animals forever, though."

"I told you we needed molu flowers," Megan whispered to Breanna.

"You know, I heard they're having a luau tonight," Breanna said, changing the subject. "Maybe we should all go."

"A luau?" Megan hissed. "Try a sacrifice!"

"Hmm...It does sound entertaining," Zelda said. "Oh, all right."

So, Breanna, Megan, and all the animals followed Zelda to the side of the volcano. This took a few more hours, and by the time they got there, it was dusk.

"Ooh, a human sacrifice!" Zelda exclaimed, running over to Alex’s cage. "Hmm, a tuba player, if I’m not mistaken. Too bad all the worthy sacrifices have been...altered."

"Gee, I wonder who did that?" the other Megan muttered as she walked by momentarily.

Suddenly, Breanna threw the cage door open, shoved Zelda in, and retied the knots holding the door closed.

"Human sacrifice time!" one of the drummers called out. "We must appease the angry spirit of the volcano by feeding her wind instrument players!"

"Big speech for a percussionist," Megan (the original) commented as Adam, Jacob, Mike, and Neil (four of the Poodles’ trumpet players) picked the cage up.

The trumpets wound their way up the volcano, finally reaching the top. Although nobody on the ground could see it, they let Alex go, only throwing Zelda in.

There was a big splash of lava, accompanied by a cheer from the drummers, then silence as the last of Zelda's screams died away.

"Drat," Megan said finally. "Now we'll have to have more drum major tryouts."

Just then, all the animals turned back into humans, revealing Lindsay, Jenny, Erica, Derek, and all the Marching Poodles' woodwinds and guard members.

"We're saved!" Danielle, an alto sax, exclaimed. "Yay!"

"Where's Alex?" Lindsay said anxiously, scanning the crowd for her brother.

Megan and Breanna looked at one another. How could they tell the Harry Potter look-alike that her brother had been thrown into the volcano, along with the evil "Zelda"?

"Here I am!"

"Alex?" Megan and Breanna said simultaneously, surprised.

"Yeah, I'm still alive, no thanks to you guys. The trumpets let me go right before they threw that evil girl in."

"But how are we going to get home?" Jeneta, a colorguard member asked.

"Err..."

"Hey, a boat!" Derek exclaimed.

"By boat," Breanna finished.

"So we get to finish our cruise?"

"Apparently."

"Awesome!"

"I don’t know about you guys," Megan said, "but I’d much rather stay off of boats for awhile. Not that we have any choice."

"I wonder where we were blown off-course to, anyway?"

"We’ll probably never know. I just want to know what on earth will happen to us next."

"Who knows. Something’s got to happen during band camp, though."

"Yeah, otherwise we’ll be bored out of our skulls."

"However will we get used to small-town Illinois life again, after being stranded on a tropical island?"

"Come on, get on the boat!" an all-too-familiar voice called from the distance. "They managed to salvage most of our instruments, so we can start having practice right away!"

"I can think of a few ways," Megan said, grinning. "And apparently, Mr. Mullins can, too. Don’t worry, Breanna, I’m sure life won’t get too boring. It never is."

The End...(yes, it really is this time. Unless you'd like to write one.)

***

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