'Tis the season to be jolly eh? And so, The Wife says that we must put up a Holly Wreath at our door.

Hmm...not a bad idea, except that these things just cost too much! A wreath the size of my palm costs about S$5 to S$7. Ridiculous! You can imagine the size that The Wife wanted. You know, the kind that is so huge that you could probably fit someone's head through it and you would look like a show dog?

And so, we've put off buying the wreath for a bit. Except that X'mas is indeed around the corner and so, time is short.

After church today, we decided to head to Vivocity to get some baking stuff for The Wife's baking project. What do you know...we stumbled upon Daiso! For those of you who do not know what it is, Daiso is Singapore's $2 shop, that sells everything for $2. Hitting the X'mas section, the wreaths there were cheap, but even in my opinion, ugly. Wife was a bit crestfallen when she spotted Cute Snow Men.

These creatures were probably meant to be put at the top of the X'mas tree or hung on a tree as an ornament. But hey! It could work. We settled for the Blue and Red one. S$4 for cute X'mas ornaments. I'm cool with that.

Upon arriving at home, I got down to tying the Snowmen to the metal grille gate. Neighbourly Aunty of 70+ who lives on the same floor trots over, eyes the Snow Men and inquires its significance. "It's X'mas!", came the answer rather quickly. You must understand, Neighbourly Aunty can be quite 'neighbourly'. Others might use other words to replace 'neighbourly'. Such examples might be 'Overtly friendly'; 'Especially helpful'; 'Exceptionally proactive'.....you get the drift.

Using rubber bands, I attempted to tie Snow Men to the iron gate. "You cannot use rubber bands, they will break,' so says Neighbourly Aunty.

"Nah! They should be fine," I reassured her (more like in the hope that she will find something else to distract her)

"They will break! Cannot use!" Aunty becomes a little more insistent.

Just then, the domestic helper who lives opposite our unit comes out of the flat. Seizing this opportunity, I remembered that she needed some recycled newspapers to clean up after the family dog. Without so much as exchanging pleasantries, I swooshed into the house, got some old newspapers and passed it to the grateful helper.

"How come you give her newspapers and you never give me?" Neighbourly Aunty looks up with me with bulbous eyes.

Mental imagery of me tearing my hair. I swear that I could crush the iron grille gate at that moment.

Upon composing myself within 2 milliseconds, I gently replied, " OK, will pass you some newspapers next time, Aunty."

"Good," Aunty starts walking away, "And the rubber band will not hold the Snow Men together."

Excellent! She was walking away.

"And close the gate," she adds as she walks back to me and closes my iron gate.

Question: Have you at any point in time had someone close a gate in your face while you were standing right there, without so much as asking your permission? OK, forget the time when your girlfriend slammed the door in your face when she caught you making out with her best friend. I mean, what a total invasion of privacy!

"It's ok, Aunty. I will not be going anywhere. It is really quite safe."

I opened the gate once more, just so that I could make my statement.

"No, no. You must close the gate," as she closes the gate once more in my face.

The line between being helpful and being annoying can be quite fine.

"It's REALLY ok, Aunty. I need to get out of the house to TIE the rubber band for the Snow Men."

Sensing that her time was up, she gingerly trotted back to her unit. I opened the gate once more, in triumph.

"Darling, can you help me with the oven?" hollers The Wife from the kitchen.

I swaggered over to the kitchen like a triumphant warrior back from a victorious battle, adjusted the oven and walked back to the metal gate.

The metal gate was closed.

Peering outside, I swear that I have never seen an old lady walk that fast. One wonders whether her walking stick is really functional, or just a prop for her cover as a Residents' Committee Secret Agent.

I shall probably bring this issue up at the next Residents' Committee meeting.