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Ten men and one woman were hanging onto a rope that extended down from a
helicopter. The weight of eleven people was too much for the rope, so the
group decided one person had to jump off. No one could decide who should
go, until finally the woman volunteered. She gave a touching speech, saying
she would sacrifice her life to save the others, because women are used to
giving up things for their husbands and children. When she finished speaking
.......all the men started clapping.





Early one morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up,
shaking him gently. "Wake up, Honey. It's time to go to school."
"But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school," he whinned.
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school and maybe I'll
consider it," she taunted.
"One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me," he
concluded. "Oh! Those are not good reasons. Come on... get up. You have to
go to school now."
"Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?" he retorted.
"One, you are 52 years old, Honey. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL."






A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO.
This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.
The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to
show everyone he means business!
The CEO, walks up the guy and asks -
"and how much money do you make a week?"
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies,
"I make $200.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams -
"here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the
room and asks - "does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters -.....
"Pizza delivery guy".