Disappointed, to Say the Least

We had our doctor's appointment today.  To say that I'm disappointed would be an understatement.  Here's a transcript of the questions I asked and the answers she provided.

1) At what hospitals do you practice?  All of them.  Which do you prefer?  Acibadem or Kadikoy Sifa

2)  What do you feel constitutes a natural childbirth?  [She was not able to answer this question without a lot of prompting on my part.  She did finally say that the woman who had an epidural, a huge episiotomy, and forceps delivery was not a natural birth.]

3) What positions do you encourage for 2nd stage (pushing)?  Lithotomy only

4) Under what circumstances do you feel a surgical birth is necessary? [This is another she couldn't answer.  She just kept saying that] it depends on the situation.

5) How often do you perform cesarean section?  [At first she wouldn't answer, but she finally admitted to] 50%

6) What is your opinion of episiotomy? All the books say and I feel that it is necessary.

7) How often do you perform episiotomy? It is routine.  All first time mothers have episiotomy, not always with second and third babies.

8) What is your opinion of breastfeeding? It is the best, of course.

9) Under what circumstances do you recommend formula feeding? I don't, that is up to the pediatrician.

10) What is the hospital's policy on:

a) oral intake during labor? It is forbidden.

b) use of pitocin? [another that she couldn't answer, kept saying that it depends on the situation]

c) upright positioning during labor and birth, i.e., walking, squatting, hands-and-knees, etc?  Walking during the labor is okay but birth is in the bed.

d) breastfeeding immediately after delivery?  It is okay.

e) support persons in labor/delivery? Maybe

f) immediate discharge within two hours postpartum? No.

g) rooming in with baby? Probably most of the time.

Needless to say, she perfectly described my nightmare hospital birth.  By the end of this conversation, I was visibly shaking, on the verge of crying, and wringing my hands.  Hubby and Meg knew what was going through my mind and the doc had to ask Ekrem (in Turkish of course) why I was so upset.  He explained some of the trauma from Meg's birth, but no one can really understand the mental shell-shock of having your body taken away from you.  That's the only way I can think to describe what I feel happens in a hospital birth.  You are no longer a thinking, feeling person--you are a body to be treated, regardless of your feelings or wishes.

I told her that we are planning a homebirth with a midwife and that we would like to maintain tandem care with her and to have her available as a back-up person in the unlikely event that something should go wrong.  She was not amused.  Once I put it in those terms, she flat refused to go along with this scenario.  I even gave her the hypothetical situation that the labor and delivery go well, but there's some postpartum hemorrhage.  Could I call her and have her meet us at the hospital?  Her answer was a flat out No.  Then she said that if I wanted to take responsibility for this birth, I was going to have all of the responsibility without any help.  Nice, eh?  We're looking for another doctor now.

I was so upset that I couldn't walk or see straight and she went through the whole ultrasound procedure again.  I just didn't have it in me to refuse the US this time, even though I didn't want it.  I should've though, because she revealed the sex of the baby, which I didn't want to know ahead of time.  I wanted to be surprised, and now I feel like I've been jipped.   There are so few good surprises in this life, why couldn't I have this one?  But I know that US is not 100% reliable and she may have been wrong.  I may be surprised yet.

Afterwards, we went to eat and many thanks to my dear hubby who believes that chocolate souffle can cure almost any heartbreak.  It helped tremendously.  Then we went to see a friend of ours who is an anesthesiologist and accupuncturist.  We explained the situation to him and he is going to help us to find another doctor who may be able to be more accommodating.  He did explain, however, that there are new laws that allow the prosecution of homebirth midwives/doctors in Istanbul.  It seems that there are so many OB/GYNs and hospitals available for birth, that the gov't feels that homebirth is unnecessary.  He suggested several times that I go back to Florida for the delivery, but where would I go?  To my mother, who is dying of lung cancer?  To my father, who has heart trouble and bad knees?  Or to my sister who has liver failure secondary to autoimmune hepatitis?  Yeah, right.

I am still prepared to do this without a back-up doc, and even without a midwife if we have to.  If we have an emergency complication, we'll just go to the closest emergency department and get the luck of the draw.  But with a normal healthy pregnancy, the odds of something going wrong in labor are slim.

Her answers have only fueled my belief that I don't belong in an Istanbul hospital.  I'm looking forward to sending her the birth announcement in March.