Live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA
The fades in to shows in to show The Blood Brothers, Stephen Blood and Brock Newbludd, walking through the parking lot of the Staples Center towards the back door of the arena. Both Blood and Newbludd show outward signs of the beating they took from Media during the closing moments of Fusion. Newbludd is walking with a limp and has two butterfly bandages on his face, while Blood's eye is swollen shut.
The two men head towards the back door of the arena and enter. As the enter the audio begins to pick up on their conversation.
Stephen Blood: You need to do some serious damage to HAC and Showtime during the four corners match for the TV strap tonight, bro.
Brock Newbludd: Don't worry, they don't call me the Innovator for nothing. I got something special planned for that pair of assclowns tonight!
The two men come to a T in the passage, and turn right. The camera pans out to reveal that the final participant in tonight's four corners match for the TV Title, The Chef and his mistress, TV Homemaker Extraordinare Martha Stewart, sampling dishes from the catering table.
Martha Stewart: Mmmm, Chef! You have to try to the spam loaf! It is absolutely scrumptious!
Chef (in a French accent) But alas, it can not be as scrumptious as you, mon petite de jue!
The Blood Brothers stop, look at each other, then roll their eyes and shake their head in morbid disbelief of the bizarrely matched pair.
Chef finishes making kissy faces at Stewart and suddenly notices his that the Blood Brothers are standing there. The Chef smiles widely and approaches Newbludd.
Blood grasps a nearby chair, just in case anything goes down. Chef looks over at Blood and smiles, then makes the "calm down" motion with his hands.
Chef: (smiling) Relax mon amis, I come in peace, eh?
Newbludd motions to Blood that it is ok, while Blood raises a wary eye brow at the usually devious culinary scrapper.
Chef: (continuing) That's better. I can see I am not the only one on edge now that Media has taken over.
Blood's eyes narrow as he surveys that master of the Filet Mignon suspiciously.
Chef: Le Innovator, I propose an alliance between us tonight for the early stages of the TV Title match against those two dastardly Media bastards, HAC and Monsieur Showtime.
German sensation Hans Kruger happens to walk past on his way to his lockerroom.
Chef: (Looking directly at Kruger with disdain, but continuing his conversation with Newbludd) We can unite together like our two nations have many times in the past, to defeat all evil nations and doers put in our path!
Kruger doesn't even look at Chef and continues walking down the hall as he disappears into the hallway he calls back.
Kruger: And we walked through your countries futile existence almost as quickly as we overan Poland, you schwine yoman!
Newbludd slaps Chef on the chest to get his attention.
Newbludd: Alright, you got yourself a deal. But once those two are out of the way, our alliance is dissolved.
Chef: (smiling) But of course!
Chef pops a lemon tart into his mouth.
Newbludd turns to leave, then suddenly swings around, grabs Chef by the apron and yanks Chef firmly towards him so the two men are standing nose to nose. Chef looks terrified.
Newbludd: (firmly, sneering) But remember this, fat man. If you screw me over in there tonight, I am gonna plant that rolling pin of yours so far up your ass that Steven won't even be willing to excavate it!
Newbludd pushes the visibly shaken Chef back firmly into the catering table and walks off camera. The camera focuses in tightly on the frightened face of the Chef as the scene fades to black.
The usual Tuesday Turmoil opening of PCW Wrestlers standing among the ruins of a burning city begins to roll. Wrestlers highlighted are Kremmen, Kid Wonder, Dan Hollywood, Tyler Nelson, Misfit and Smokin' Joe Cross.
The scene reopens to show a mob of camera carrying fans outside the Staples Center in Los Angeles, CA. A small graphic in the lower right hand corner of the screen reads "Earlier Today"
A series of rapid fire clips showing various media celebrities arriving the arena and posing for photographers begins to roll. Celebrities shown are Dennis Rodman, Drew Carey, Erkle, Shaq, Jay Leno and former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette.
The scene shifts inside of the jam-packed Staples Center as pyros shoot off from the ceiling, ring posts and entryway as "Ooh boy I love you so" by Shaggy and Janet Jackson rocks the arena. The camera whirls around the arena sampling from the crowd. The camera pauses to focus on screen director/producer Steven Spielberg who is wearing a Media Rules! T-shirt, then shifts over to now-seperated and hot-to-trot actress Nicole Kidman who is wearing a "Height isn't the only place Tom came up short" T-shirt. She then turns around to reveal the words "Why do you think we opted to adopt?" on the back of the shirt. Finally, the camera focuses on Hollywood's longest lasting couple, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. Kermit is wearing a PCW Five Star Frog Splash T-shirt, depicting him hitting former PCW Wrestler Polar Christoffersen with KtF's patented finisher at the end of the Smithsonian Brawl.
The scene shifts to the announce table where the PCW announce team of Dave Kern, Jeff Marx and Steven Smith are ready to go.
Dave: Hello everyone and welcome to Primetime Championship Wrestling's Tuesday Turmoil! We are coming to you live from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California. I'm Dave Kern and alongside me are my partners in crime Jeff Marx and Steven Smith. Guys, I'm still stunned by the defections of HAC and Chris Allen to Media that we witnessed at the end of Fusion!
Jeff: Why were you shocked?
Dave: HAC and Chris Allen have been in PCW since the beginning. They were the apitomy of what PCW was all about
Jeff: (interrupting) That is what shocks me! They were actually smart enough to join the side that has all the power and money. I mean, let's face itChris Allen and HAC are a couple of dumbasses.
Steven: (obliviously) Newbludd was wrong. I'll retrieve the rolling pin from Chef's
Dave: (interrupting) WHOA!!! Ok, we have a jam packed docket for you tonight, with two title matches, eight, first round World Title tourney matches and our huge six man tag team main event feature Doug Troy, Frisco and Hans Kruger taking on Tyler Nelson, Dan Hollywood and Chet King. Let's head to the ring!
Joe Cross vs. Bradley vs. Guy Leslie vs. Hendrix
(Hendrix is already in the ring. "The Way I Am" by Eminem plays as "Smokin'" Joe comes out with Rachel Stevens.)
Clay: The following is a 4 corners match to determine the #1 contender to the PCW Rising Star championship. Already in the ring, at a weight of 275 pounds.......HENDRIX! His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Rachel Stevens, from Manhattan, New York, at a weight of 256 pounds......."SMOKIN'" JOE CROSS
("Sirius" by the Alan Parsons Project plays as "The Machine" comes out with Kristine.)
Clay: Their opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Kristine, from Clevland, Ohio, at a weight of 260 pounds......."THE MACHINE" GUY LESLIE
("Danger" by Mysitkal plays as Bradley makes his way out)
Clay: Their final opponent, from Gueydan, Louisiana, at a weight of 205 pounds.......BRADLEY
All 4 men are in the ring together but referee Speedy Riggs orders two of them out. Brad and Hendrix exit the ring leaving SJC and Guy as the two legal men. They go to lock up but SJC pokes him in the eye. SJC punches away at Guy then whips him into the corner. SJC runs in and catches Guy with an elbow to the jaw. SJC with some stiff chops to the chest of Guy. He then whips him hard into the other corner. Guy bounces out and staggers towards SJC. Joe runs at Guy with a running clothesline but Guy ducks it, gets behind SJC, then grabs him and hits him with a dragon suplex. Guy makes a cover, 1.....2...SJC kicks out. Guy pulls SJC up and whips him into the ropes. Guy sets SJC up for a back body drop but SJC sees it, catches Guy, and drops him with a devastating DDT. SJC covers, 1......2....Guy gets a shoulder up. SJC goes over and slaps Brad signaling a tag. Bradley and SJC stare at eachother for a moment, then Brad approaches Guy. Once Brad gets close enough, Guy hits him with a low blow. Guy then grabs Brad and hits him with The Nice Guy. Guy makes the cover, 1......2.......3
BRADLEY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED
Guy doesn't even get a chance to savor the moment before Hendrix is in the ring beating on him. Hendrix stomping away at Guy. He then starts to choke away at Guy as SJC just laughs from the ring apron. Hendrix pulls Guy up and hits him with a suplex. Hendrix makes a cover, 1......2...Guy kicks out. Hendrix pulls Guy up and whips him into the corner. Hendrix charges in but Guy catches him with an elbow reeling him back some. Hendrix regains his composure and comes in again. This time Guy moves and Hendrix runs right into the corner. SJC makes a blind tag on Hendrix tagging himself in. Guy gets behind Hendrix and hits him with a german suplex. Meanwhile, SJH remains on the apron. Guy goes to the top, not knowing that SJC is the legal man. He's setting up for some sort of top rope move but, before he can do it, SJC pulls Guy's leg from out under him. Guy straddles the turnbuckle and SJC goes up to the top with Guy. SJC grabs Guy, sets him up, then hits him with the Wall Street Crash. SJC covers Guy, 1.......2........3
"THE MACHINE" GUY LESLIE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED
Down to two men now as SJC stands tall and Hendrix is barely getting up. Once Hendrix is up to his hands and knees, SJC winds up and kicks him hard in the ribs sending Hendrix back down to the mat. SJC makes a cover, 1......2....Hendrix kicks out. SJC stomps on Hendrix some, then he pulls him up and whips him into the ropes. Just before bouncing off the ropes, Hendrix springs onto the middle rope, then comes off and catches SJC with a back elbow. Hendrix covers, 1......2...SJC kicks out. Both men are back to their feet. SJC comes at Hendrix with a lariat but Hendrix ducks it. He then grabs SJC and sets him up for The Experience. Right before he's about to hit it, Rachel Stevens hops onto the apron. Hendrix lets go of SJC and walks over towards her. Speedy Riggs steps in between Rachel and Hendrix. The distraction allows SJC a chance to get up. He comes up from behind Hendrix, spins him around, then hits him with a falcon arrow. Rachel hops of of the apron as SJC covers, 1.......2........3
HENDRIX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED
WINNER: "Smokin'" Joe Cross Time: 5:01
Dave: So, Smokin' Joe Cross will move on to face Putter Mayhem for the Rising Star Title a week from this Friday on Fusion!
Jeff: (mimicking Jim Ross) That oughta be a real slobberknocker!
A large yawn is heard.
Dave: (sighing) Why don't you give the guys in the Rising Star division a break, Jeff? They are trying to break through and make their mark in PCW. You, as a reporter, should be supportive of the work they are putting in.
Jeff: (snidely) Ladies and gentleman, my father has just joined us at our announce position.
Dave: Apparently nothing gets through. Well, at least folks at home know I tried. Let's head to the ring for our first, first round tourney match of the evening, featuring PCW Hall of famer Kremmen in action against Boca del Inferno.
Clay Clayborne: The following match is a first round match in the PCW World Title Tournament. Making his way to the ring at this time, from Washington, DC and weighing in at 250 pounds, PCW Hall of Famer, Kremmen!
"Carmina Burana - O'Fortuna" by Orff begins to play as Kremmen makes his way down to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from the Mouth of Hell
Clayborne stops talking as Precious Peter Love, clad in the Ream Team trademark tights runs out and hands him a piece of paper. Clayborne looks at the paper and shakes his head in disgust. Love falls to his knees and wraps his arms around Clayborne's legs, begging and pleading. Clayborne finally is able to extract himself from Love's clutches and sighs in resignation.
Clay Clayborne: His opponent, from the Tool Box in San Francisco, weighing in at 200 pounds, Boca del Inferno!
Pink pyros go off as the luchadore of the Ream Team, clad in his pink tights trimmed with bright orange flames prances down the ramp as "It's Raining Man" starts to play over the arena speakers. Kremmy shakes his head as Boca and Love embrace at the foot of the ramp. Boca climbs up on the apron as the bell rings.
Boca suddenly jumps up and springboards off the top rope into a cross body block, but Kremmy catches the flaming cruiserweight and holds him with no strain. He hoists him up and falls backwards into a fallaway slam. Love jumps up and down in frustration as Kremmy starts to climb the turnbuckles in succession, holding up one fist and mugging for the crowd. As he's doing this, Revenant suddenly runs down the ramp, holding a steel chair. The ex-cave dweller jumps up and nails Kremmy in the head with the chair, causing Kremmy to stagger back and into the school boy rollup by Boca. The ref counts 12 and Kremmy gets the shoulder up. Boca gets up and bounces off the ropes. Kremmy gets to his feet as Boca charges at him and drops his shoulder, hoisting the charging Boca up and nailing him with the Kremmen Special DVD! He covers 123!
Winner, and advancing to the next round: Kremmen!
Dave: So, despite interference from Revenant, Kremmen picks up an easy win over Boca del Inferno in the first round of the tourney.
Jeff: The war of words have been heating up between Kremmen and Revenant as of late, almost reminiscent of the clashes that Joker and Kremmen had a few months back.
Dave: Well, Joker was a mid carder at best with little hope of defeating Kremmen, but Revenant
Jeff: Joker was Revenant, but lived in a house rather than a cave. In my mind, there is no difference between the two. Revenant is just another wrestler attempting to feud outside of his caste, much the way David Arquette married above his caste when he somehow landed Courtney Cox.
Dave: I'm not sure what I could add to that ladies and gentlmen.
Jeff: An amen will suffice
Dave: (sighing) We are gonna keep it right here and go to our second first round tourney match of the evening. Let's head to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: The following match is a first round match in the PCW World Title Tournament. Making his way to the ring, from Orlando, Florida, weighing in at 350 pounds, he is one half of the PCW Tag Team Champions, the Media Assassins, he is "Hardknocks" Chris Allen!
"Hardknock Life" by Jay-Z begins to play as HCA makes his way to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada and weighing in at 226 pounds, Phoenix!
"One Step Closer" from Linkin Park begins to play over the arena speakers as Phoenix makes his way to the ring.
The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos when, Homicidal Anthony Cay rushes out of the tunnel behind Phoenix, with his PCW Tag Team belt in hand. Phoenix senses something is wrong and whirls around, just in time to be smashed in the face with the title belt by the charging HAC. Phoenix goes down like a sack of potatoes to the cold, hard, steel ramp.
HAC goes over and begins laying the boots to Phoenix. After six or seven stomps, he yanks Phoenix up by his hair and drags him towards the ring and tosses him into his Tag Team partner, Chris Allen much to the dismay of the capacity crowd in the Staples Center.
Chris Allen punches his own heart a few times to signal thanks to HAC. The bell rings as HCA goes to work on Phoenix, pounding him in the head with big right hands. He slings Phoenix into the ropes and catches him with a powerslam. He goes for the quick cover 12 and Phoenix kicks out. HCA picks Phoenix up by the hair and lifts a knee into his stomach, bending Phoenix over. HCA slams an elbow across the back of Phoenix's neck, sending the smaller man to his hands and knees. HCA begins to jaw at Phoenix as he punts him in the ribs, flipping him over onto his back. HCA bounces off the ropes and jumps up with some great elevation, going for an elbow drop, but Phoenix is able to roll out of the way, and HCA is left rolling on the mat, clutching his elbow. Phoenix rolls to his feet and starts laying in boots to HCA's midsection. He pulls HCA to his feet and starts to lay in right hands, staggering HCA back into a corner. He strains and tires to lift the big man up to the top turnbuckle, but HCA clubs him across the back with a meaty forearm, and then pushes him to the floor. Phoenix rolls to his feet and charges in at HCA, who meets him with a back elbow, staggering Phoenix back. HCA explodes out of the corner and nails a clothesline, flipping Phoenix head over heels. HCA picks Phoenix up and hoists him up for 3 the Hard Way, but Phoenix squirms over HCA's back, falls to his knees, and brings up his forearm between HCA's legs, sending the big man falling to the mat, clutching his crotch. Phoenix bend over and places one hand on HCA's shoulder and the other on his biceps and does a handstand before falling back down and driving his knee into HCA's shoulder. He gets up and lays in a couple of boots against HCA's shoulder before picking him up. He applies an arm wrench on HCA, applying pressure to his shoulder, and starts to tag the shoulder with elbow shots. Still holding the arm wrench, Phoenix climbs up the corner to the top turnbuckle and leaps off into a deep arm drag, flipping HCA over. Phoenix runs, bounces off the ropes, and lands a seated drop kick onto HCA's shoulder. He goes for the cover 12 and HCA kicks out. Phoenix gets up as HCA rolls to the outside, clutching at his shoulder. Phoenix climbs through the ropes and leaps off, bulldogging HCA to the floor. The ref starts a ten count 12 Phoenix picks up HCA and slams his head into the top of the guardrail 34. Phoenix tries to do it again, but HCA blocks, throws back and elbow catching Phoenix in the face, and slams his head down to the guardrail instead. 567 HCA slings Phoenix back first into the ring apron and nails him with a clothesline 89 HCA picks Phoenix up and rolls him underneath the bottom rope and follows him in. Phoenix gets to his feet as HCA rolls in and starts punching the big man, but HCA shakes them off and lays in a couple of punches of his own. He scoops Phoenix up and body slams him down to the mat. He positions Phoenix so his head is underneath the top rope, then grabs his legs and goes for a catapult, hot shotting Phoenix's throat into the bottom rope. He drags Phoenix out from under the bottom rope, slings him into the opposite ropes, hoists him up in a gorilla press, and drops him throat first on the top rope. Phoenix flips over onto his back, clutching at his throat. HCA picks him up, hoists him up, and nails 3 the Hard Way! He goes for the cover 123!
Winner, and advancing to the second round: "Hardknocks" Chris Allen!
Dave: So, Chris Allen moves onto to face Kremmen in the second round of the PCW World Heavyweight Title Tourney. Jeff, how do you like HCA's chances against Kremmen.
Jeff: I like them a lot more then if you had asked me this same question a week ago. I think there is no stopping the "artist formerly known as Boda" now that he has joined Media.
Dave: (with disdain) Well, since apparently there are two sets of rules in PCW, one set for Media and another for the rest of the PCW roster, you maybe right.
Steven: It's not what you know, but who you know.
Dave: Good to know you're still with us Steven. You had been silent for most of the evening.
Steven: Well, I have been working out the equation of exactly how far into the rectum of the Chef that Brock Newbludd would have to jam the rolling pin
Dave: (disgusted.) BAH! We need to head to a commercial!
(Commercial: Kermit D. Frog: Hi ho! Kermit D. Frog here! Get your PCW Kermit D. Frog, Five Star Frog Splash! T-shirt exclusively from PCW mail order for only $4.95. Call 1800-Get-frog to order today!)
Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil. I suppose that is another one of Media "brilliant" cross promotional plans?
Jeff: Hey man, KDF does possess the best Five Star Frog Splash in the business. I mean, when you talk about DDT's, you talk about Raven and Arn Anderson. When you talk about Five Star Frog Splashes, immediately, RVD and KDF come to mind.
Dave: I suppose I'll have to take your word on it. Take a look at what happened during our commercial.
The scene shifts to the back to show Phoenix staggering through the entryway after his defeat to Chris Allen. A small graphic in the lower right and corner of the screen reads "Moments ago."
Phoenix leans against a nearby table and puts his down out of regret of losing his match. Unfortunately, with his head down, he doesn't see Riptah or the chair he holding in his hand coming at him.
Riptah rears back and smashes Phoenix with the chair. The force of the blow knocks Phoenix conveniently up onto the table he was leaning on.
Dave: It's just not Phoenix' night I guess!
Jeff: Is it ever Phoenix' night?
The three announcers share a laugh.
Riptah unfolds the chair he just smashed Phoenix with and places it about 6 feet from the table.
Dave: What's he gonna do?!
Riptah takes 20 steps back and begins sprinting towards the chair. When he gets about 10 feet from the chair he leaps up into the air, as if he wants to land on the chair and spring off of it. That is, if Misfit hadn't shown up and kicked the chair out of the way!
Misfit enters the pictures and kicks the chair over leaving Riptah up in the air with no where to land. Riptah continues his descent and smashes face first into the edge of the table.
Misfit points at Riptah and looks into the camera.
Misfit: (with Nelson's laugh from the Simpsons) Ha Ha!
Misfit then walks off.
Jeff: Looks like those guys are getting ready for this Friday's TLC match!
Dave: Certainly does! Let's head to the ring for our next first round tourney match.
Clay Clayborne: The following match is a first round match in the PCW World Title Tournament. Making his way to the ring at this time, from Las Vegas, Nevada, and weighing in at 297 pounds, Jon Kano!
Kano comes out to "Come and Get Me" by Jay-Z. As he comes through the entrance way a huge explosion of pyros, lights, and fire come from the stage. He usually walks calmly and calculated towards the ring. He walks up the stairs and over the top rope.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from Birmingham, Alabama and weighing in at 267 pounds, Chris Metal!
A loud screech of a car is heard, and the lights change to green then back to blue. The first chord of "Never Die" by Cream is heard, then the arena goes quiet. The lights turn red and focus on the entrance to the rampway while the eerie guitar riff is going on. As the drums start to play, the lights turn to blue again and a blue pyro on each side of the platform shoots off. The pyros cross paths about 25 feet up, and just as they do, they make a loud bang and Chris Metal bursts through the entrance onto the platform, with Victor Thompson and Trav around 6 feet behind. Chris has two bottles of water with him. He goes to one side of the platform and shows off to the fans with a sort of Chris Jericho pose, then chucks one bottle of water into the crowd. He does the same on the other side. He then walks down the rampway looking as confident as Stone Cold, with his friends following at the same distance. Vic and Trav stay outside the ring, while Chris does
a cartwheel then jumps up onto the apron. He runs to the turnbuckle and climbs halfway
up, looking out to the crowd just like The Rock does. He then goes back to the apron, turns round and shows off to the crowd again, then backflips onto his feet into the ring.
He runs to the ropes and just before he gets to them, jumps into a forward roll. Halfway thru the roll he bounces off the ropes and jumps up and lands on his feet, then runs to the opposite ropes and does the same. He continues this until opponent reaches the ring.
The bell rings as Kano and Metal start trading right hands. Kano starts to get the better of Metal, staggering him back to the ropes. He slings Metal into the ropes, but Metal reverses and sends Kano in instead. Kano bounces back and is met by a dropkick by Metal. Metal picks Kano up and snapmares him over. He picks Kano up and snapmares him over again, then dropkicking him in the back of his head. He goes for the cover 12 and Kano kicks out. Metal gets to his feet and picks Kano up, slinging him into the ropes. Kano ducks Metal's clothesline and swings around behind him, hooking Metal's head and dropping him with a reverse DDT. Kano covers 12 and Metal kicks out. Kano picks Metal up, hooks and arm, and nails a snap suplex. He drops an elbow across Metal's chest and covers 12 and Metal kicks out. Kano picks Metal up and tries to suplex him again, but Metal rolls him up in a small package 12 and Kano kicks out. Both men climb to their feet and Kano lands a couple of punches on Metal. He tries to sling Metal into the ropes, but Metal reverses it again and drop toe holds him face first into the mat. Metal picks Kano, kicks him in the gut, and nails him with a sidewalk slam. Metal goes for the cover 12 and Kano kicks out. Metal picks Kano up and drags him by the back of his head to the corner, and slams him head first into the top turnbuckle. Kano takes a couple of steps back, and then is driven to the mat by a short arm clothesline. Metal covers 12 and Kano kicks out. Metal picks Kano up and tries to sling him into the ropes, but this time Kano reverses and meets Metal with a big boot to the face. Kano picks Metal up, but Metal takes a big swing at Kano. Kano ducks the swing, hooks his arm, spins behind Metal, and nails him with a full nelson slam. Kano goes for the cover 12 and Metal kicks out.
Kano picks Metal up and slings him into the ropes. He goes for a spinning heel kick, but Metal ducks and rolls under it, coming to his feet behind Kano and landing a release German suplex.As Kano flies through the air, his foot clips the referee putting the ref down.
Kano lies on the mat as Metal slowly starts to climb to the top rope. As he gets to the top and starts to turn around, Kano gets to his feet and rushes at Metal, slamming into Metal's legs and causing him to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. Kano climbs up to the second turnbuckle, hooks Metal with an arm across his chest
Suddenly, a small, masked figure dressed in all black is lowered from the rafters via harness, into the ring, behind Kano. The ref is still down.
Dave: Who is that?
Jeff: It's got to be a woman. It's too small to be a man!
The figure in black walks up behind the unsuspecting Kano and grabs his shoulder, causing Kano to suddenly straighten and stiffen up.
Dave: That looks like some kind of nerve hold.
Jeff: (suspiciously) Wait a minute!!!
Due to the "nerve hold" Kano looses his grip on Metal, who falls face forward into the ring. The ref is beginning to stir. The small person dressed in black maintains his/her dehibilitating hold on Kano, and begins to climb the ropes. He/she then tucks Kano's head under his/her arm and springs off the top rope executing a picture perfect spring board bulldog, depositing Kano's head firmly into the mat.
Dave: Nice spring board bulldog!!!
Jeff: (growing ever more suspicious) Just wait one (bleep) damn minute!!!
The small figure then hooks himself back to the harness and zips quickly ascends back up into the rafters.
The ref has shaken away the cobwebs. Chris Metal crawls over and covers Kano. The referee counts..1..2..3!!!
Winner, and advancing to the second round: Chris Metal Time: 6:17
Jeff: That move set looked way too familiar.
Dave: It certainly did, but who am I to speculate. If that person in black was who we think it was, Kano deserved every bit of what just transpired, plus some.
Jeff: If that was who I think it was, Kano should be given the keys to every city in the free world for the service he had done.
Steven: Free world rules. China sucks.
Dave: Thank you for you indepth commentary Steven. Now, we need to head back to the ring for our next first round tourney match.
Jeff Marx: This one will feature a PCW mainstay and an up and comer.
Steve Smith: Did some onesay someone is coming?
{SMACK}
Jeff Marx and Dave Kern: SHUT THE HELL UP!!
Clay Clayborne: The following is a first round tournament match for the World Heavyweight Championship. Currently in the ring awaiting his opponent..... one half of the tag team Tempest...Raine
{"Somebody's Gotta Feel This" from Kid Rock hits the P.A. System.}
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent...from Vancouver , Canada...he is the founding member of sHs...Scott " Hot One" Naket.
Naket climbs into the ring. Looks around and stares at his opponent. Walks towards Raine and smacks him in the face....
Dave Kern: Thats unusual for Naket. And hell...he is the odds on favorite for this match.
Jeff Marx: My money is on the new man , Raine...he was impressive on Saturdays special edition of Fusion.
.....Raine returns a punch to SN face. SN back pedals and charges at Raine. Raine sidesteps him and Naket bounces off the ropes and bulldogs the rookie. Naket pulls Raine up to his feet , whips him to the corner and charges with a shoulder to the gut. Naket then sets Raine up on the top turnbuckle for a superplex. Naket gets the man up but Raine twists his body around in mid air and lands on Naket.....
Jeff Marx: My GOD ...a reversal to the Superplex...I think that is a first.
....Raine makes the cover 1...2....3NO...Naket got a shoulder up.....Raine questions referee Buzz Meachams "slow" count. Naket gets up and hits Raine from behind with a clothsline. Raine down on the canvas. Naket picks him up. Slings Raine to the ropes. Raine comes back and is met with a back body drop from the HOT ONE. Naket drops an elbow on the fallen foe. Cover by Naket 1....2....leg on the rope. Naket picks Raine up again....hits him with a right, then a left, then once again with a right...Raine is stumbling around...swinging blindly at air. Naket signals for his move. Raine finally realizes where he is...but it is too late....Naket with a kick to the gut.....then Naket hits Raine with the HOTT DROP.... Cover by Naket 1.....2.....3 it's over.
Clay Clayborne: Winner and advancing to the secound round...Scott Naket {4:12}
Dave Kern: So Scott Naket will move on to face Chris Metal in the second round of the tourney.
Jeff Marx: I really thought Raine had it after that reversal, or atleast I hoped he did. I am sick and tired of Naket's long winded promos, as if anyone gives a damn about what he, that weirdo Kanton or that cave dwelling freak have to say.
Dave: Thanks for sugar coating it for our young fans Jeff and as if by Jeff's request, I am being told our Cal Seaver is standing by with sHs backstage. Cal?
The camera shifts to just inside the entryway where Cal is standing with Scott Naket, Kris Kanton and PCW Extreme Champion, Revenant.
Cal Seaver: sHs, it's been almost a month since the three of you have been together in the same arena, but tonight it's started again it seems. What are your
Scott Naket grabs the microphone out of Cal's hands and looksright into the camera, long and hard. He shows a can of 7-UP, which has the logo digitally blurred shortly thereafter, by the guys in the production truck, opens it, and takes a drink.
Scott Naket: Tonight, fans of the Canadian Icon around the world, fans of the Pop Tart eater, and fans of the over built tough guy are rejoicing, as sHs has come back, and this time, we are not gonna go away. You see, this time, we have a common goal, a goal that will change a lot of people's views on sHs. You see, people hate sHs, but there is one stable ,one group that people will hate two, NO five, NO, TEN times, wait, no, people will hate even more, and that's Tyler Nelson's group of rich, little pansy crybabies that call themselves Media. Well Media
The feed is suddenly cut.
Dave: What the hell?!?
The scene shifts back to the announce table where Dave, Jeff and Steven seem to be at a loss of what to say.
Dave: Well, looks like we are having some technical difficulties.
Suddenly the Jumbotron surges to life.
Dave: Ok, looks like our Jumbotron may have the feed. Can a camera get a close up on that.
The scene shift to the Jumbotron to reveal the back of what appears to be a leather chair. The chair spins around to reveal it's occupant as non other than the black beret wearing man who has become known as the Executive Producer. . He strokes his graying goutee, sips a glass of brandy and gives out a little chuckle.
Executive Producer: Hello, PCW fans!
The crowd boos.
Executive Producer: You are booing me? HA! You should be cheering me and throwing a ticker tape parade for cutting off the Canadian Cripple Scott Naket.
Jeff: He's got a point there!
Dave: Would you just shut up!
Executive Producer: I just wanted to drop off a little message for all the PCW wrestlers in the back.
The scene shifts to the entry ramp to show that 15-20 PCW wrestlers, including an irate Scott Naket have come out to hear what he has to say. A camera shot of several wrestlers in the locker room also appears, showing another dozen wrestlers preparing for their matches watching from a monitor.
Executive Producer: Good. Very good. I am glad to see I have all of your attention. You know, if any of you think that you are going to come out on this program and bash the management of this company on our dime, you must be out of your minds.
Scott Naket, by my clock, your little interview took :40 seconds before I mercifully cut you off. Do you have any idea how much it costs to run PCW per second on the air?
The camera focuses down on Scott Naket, who has a defiant look on his face.
Executive Producer: $6,500 a secondand that is US dollars, not the rapidly devaluating monetary unit you use up there in Canada. So, by my estimation, you owe me 260,000 dollars.
Dave: What?!?
The camera focuses on an irate Naket.
Executive Producer: Oh, now Scott, don't rush to your checkbook. It's OK. I'll just take it out of your weekly pay, oh, for the next two and a half years.
Naket flips out and rushes to ringside and grabs a chair. He then attempts to hurl the chair at the Jumbotron, but Kanton and Revenant stop him.
Executive Producer: (waving his finger disapprovingly) Be careful! Do you have any idea how much a new Jumbotron would cost?
Jeff: I do!
Dave: Shhhhhhh!!!
Executive Producer: Just to show you that I am out to bury Scott Naket both financially AND professionally, ScottI have decided to book you, Kanton and Revenant in Fusion's main event one week from this Friday.
The camera shifts back to sHs who are listening intently.
Executive Producer: That's right. A week from this Friday sHs will take on Media in the main event.
Dave: WHAT?!? Media has six guys and sHs only has three! That's not fair!
Jeff: I am really beginning to see method behind the madness of Media and am impressed.
Dave: (snidely) You would be.
Executive Producer: Now, all of you, get off of my stage and let the show that never ends continue.
The Jumbotron fades to black. The scene scoots over to Naket, Kanton and Revenant. Naket is furious, but Kanton whispers something to him, which seems to calm him down.
Dave: So next Friday, sHs will take on Media in a three-on-six handicap match. Is there no stopping the abusive of power by Nelson, the Executive Producer and Media? We need to head to a commercial. We will come right back.
(Commercial: PCW March Madness, Sunday March 4th, Live on Pay-Per-View. Call you local cable company or satellite provider to order today)
Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil. We are ready to head to the ring for our next first round tourney matches. Scott Kilborn is already in the ring. "Ain't That a Kick in the Head" blasts over the PA as Franky the Mook comes out with Dominic.)
Clay: The following is a first round match in the 64 man World title tournament. Already in the ring, at a weight of 270 pounds......."THE
HUNTER" SCOTT KILBON. His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Dominic Domedegi, from Chicago, Illinois, at a weight of 260
pounds.......FRANKY THE MOOK
As FTM climbs into the ring, SK pulls the middle rope up on FTM right between his legs. While FTM is straddling the middle rope, SK keeps on yanking it up and down causing FTM even greater pain. After a few seconds, FTM falls into the ring and SK quickly starts stomping away at him. After enough stomping, SK starts choking the former tag champ. SK then takes FTM, pulls him up, whips him into the ropes, and hits him with a knee to the face taking him down. SK drops a knee onto the chest of FTM, then covers, 1.......2.....FTM kicks out. SK pulls FTM up and whips him into the corner. FTM just bounces out of the corner, runs back at SK, then takes Kilborn down with a lariat. SK quickly back up but FTM takes him down with a bodyslam. SK back up again, chaging at FTM, but he's taken down by a drop toe hold. FTM then applies an ankle lock on SK. Kilborn, knowing he's in trouble, quickly gets to the ropes for the break. FTM breaks the hold, then starts pulling SK up but SK rakes him in the eyes. He then lifts FTM up and drops him, on his throat, on the top rope. FTM staggers back right into SK. Kilborn grabs him and hits him with a belly to back suplex. Sk covers, 1....2....FTM gets a shoulder up. SK stomps on FTM some before sending him into the corner. SK charges in but FTM gets his foot up. SK staggers back some allowing FTM a chance to hop onto the middle turnbuckle. FTM waits for a second, then comes off the turnbuckle for a flying double axe handle, but SK gives a boot to the gut and follows with a picturesque DDT. FTM is down.
Kilborn slips beneath the ropes and stands on the ring apron. He graps the top rope, leaps up, the springs from the top rope and executes a spring board Senton Bomb on FTM. SK covers, 1......2......3
WINNER: Scott Kilborn
Dave: So, "The Hunter" Scott Kilborn puts away Franky the Mook with the Kill and moves on to the second round of the tourney with ease.
Suddenly the Jumbotron jumps to life.
Dave: (whispering) I hope it is not the Executive Producer again.
The camera goes in close to the Jumbotron to once again the back of a fine looking leather chair.
Dave: Damn!
The chair spins around to reveal not the Executive Producer, but a smiling Kremmen. Kremmen points to Kilborn and begins to clap.
Kremmen: Congrats to you, young hunter, on your impressive win over PCW's resident jobber Franky the Mook!
Dave: Well, I don't know if I would call the Mook a jobber
Jeff: (enthusiastically) I would!
Kilborn begins jawing up at image of Kremmen on the Jumbotron.
Kremmen: Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend little Scottie's ears by using the word Jobber?
A mixed reaction of boos and cheers hits the crowd, as former PCW World Heavyweight Champion The Reverend Jon Hull slips out of the crowd and slides into the ring, behind Kilborn. With Kilborn's attention occupied completely by Kremmen's speech on the Jumbotron, he fails to notice the Reverend's arrival.
Kremmen: Oooh, this is too sweet of a plumtoo sweet of a plum.
Kilborn's look of anger turns to puzzlement at Kremmen's cryptic words.
With that, the Reverend charges at Kilborn landing a hard clothesline that sends the unsuspecting Kilborn up and over the top rope and crashing to the floor in the ringside area. Kremmen lets out a huge laugh.
Dave: Oh my God! Was this all a setup by Kremmen and Reverend or just a strange coincidence?
Rev slips out of the ring and grabs the still stunned Kilborn. Rev whips Kilborn into the guardrail and follows up with a strong clothesline sending him flying over the guardrail and into the crowd. Rev begins to pursue Kilborn who is starting to back away a little. He runs into a large man during his attempted escape. He turns and looks up into the eyes of Macaber Payne. Payne grabs Kilborn around the throat with two hands and lifts him into the air. He throws Kilborn back at Rev who catches him in a full nelson. He lifts Kilborn in the air getting full extension from his arms and drives the back of his head and neck hard onto the concrete floor.
Rev stands over his head and reaches his hand out asking for a microphone from Macaber Payne.
Reverend: I feel I was a little rude to you last Tuesday. I never properly gave you your welcome to PCW. You're in for one hell of a ride Kilborn. You think you're big around here just cause you are a hunter?
Well, out in the woods you don't have to worry about the deer shooting back. In PCW, you do. Have a nice ride here. I'm sure it won't last too long.
Reverend spits on Kilborn and climbs back over the guardrail.Macaber steps on Kilborn as he also climbs back over. Both men walk back up the ramp and exit as Spirit in the Sky blares over the loudspeaker.
Kremmen continues laughing on the Jumbotron.
Dave: Oh my God! Kilborn is still down!
Jeff: Seems like every top PCW star wants a piece of Scott Kilborn. The Hunter has become the hunted!
Steven: It's not what you know, but who you know.
Dave and Jeff: Agreed.
Dave: Let's head to the ring for our next PCW World Title Tourney match!
Clay Claybourne: The following contest is a first round match up in the 64 man World Title Tournament. Introducing first, he is the PCW Extreme Champion, Revenant.
("What If" by Creed hits the PA and Revenant, with the Extreme Title draped over his shoulder, makes his way to the ring along with a returning Kris Kanton.)
Clay Claybourne: And his opponent Corporal Punishment.
Corporal Punishment doesn't wait for his music to hit as he charges to the ring knocking Kris Kanton from the apron as he enters behind Rev and spins him around and drops him to the mat with a DDT. CP follows up with an elbow drop and goes for another but Rev rolls out of the way.
Both men struggle to make it to there feet and CP makes it up first but is meet with a hard right to the gut by Revenant. Rev stands up and whips CP to the ropes and as CP comes bouncing off Revenant nails him with a huge spine buster. Rev pulls him back up and whips him into the corner and then capitalizes with a few shoulder thrusts. CP drop to the mat falling out of the corner and Revenant applies a spinning toe hold. The ref checks for a tap but CP says NO.
Rev twists his body at more of an angle and the ref checks again but CP struggles to break free and eventually does. Rev begins to stomp at the knee of CP but CP kicks him off. CP grabs the tights of Revenant and pulls him into the into the turnbuckle out of desperation. Revenant hits face first and CP uses the ropes to pull himself up. CP drops another elbow to the back of Revenants head and then lifts him up off the mat and scoop slams him back down. CP leans against the ropes for few moments to catch his breath but this is long enough for Rev to regain his senses and clip the knee of CP from behind. Rev then pulls him off the mat and places him in position for a huge piledriver. CP's head hits the mat full on as he lays there motionless and Revenant rolls to the outside to speak with his Stable mate Kris Kanton. While Revenant recovers on the outside CP does as well on the inside and makes it to his feet. CP notices the two members of sHs on the outside and bounces off the ropes on the other side and comes back nailing both men with a baseball slide drop kick. Revenant goes back in the ring and he and CP square off and CP goes for a clothesline but Revenant ducks and CP hits the ropes on the other side but as he does he is whacked across the back of the head with the Extreme title by Kanton but The ref doesn't see this because he was distracted by Rev. The ref turns around and Revenant covers Corporal Punishment. 1...2....3
Winner and advancing to the second round: Revenant.
Dave: So Revenant joins his sHs stablemate Scott Naket in the second round of the tourney, where he will face Scott Kilborn.
Jeff: So what you are saying is that Revenant is soon to be eliminated.
Dave: I didn't say that!
Jeff: I will! Kilborn is gonna to crush Revenant in the second round.
Dave: So is that your expert analysis of that match up? Kilborn is gonna crush Revenant?
Jeff: Yep!
Dave: Why'd I even bother asking. OK, let's head to the ring for our next first round tourney match which features a couple of PCW newcomers.
("Chicken Huntin' [California Love remix]" by ICP hits as Misfit comes out)
Clay: The following is a first round matchup in the PCW World title tournament. Introducing first, at a weight of 220 pounds.......MISFIT
("Danger" by Mystikal hits and Short Circuit, one half of Da Westsidaz, comes out along with Daisy.)
Clay: His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Daisy, at a weight of 200 pounds.......SHORT CIRCUIT
The two crusierweights circle eachother for a moment, then SC charges. Misfit thinks quickly and takes SC down with a drop toe hold. As SC gets back to his feet, Misfit comes at him with a running lariat. SC ducks it and Misfit bounces off the ropes. SC tries to catch Misfit with a clothesline but Misfit ducks under it. Misfit bounces off the ropes again and flies toward SC with a cross body block but SC falls to the mat, avoiding Misfit. Misfit flies over top of SC and hits the mat hard. SC gets up and grabs Misfit. He hits Misfit with a snap suplex, followed by another. When Misfit tries getting up, SC takes him right back down with a mafia kick. SC covers, 1......2....Misfit kicks out. SC locks Misfit in a side headlock. Misfit quickly fights to his feet and pushes SC off of him and into the ropes. Misfit goes for a hip toss but SC blocks it, then chops Misfit. When Misfit doesn't go down, SC runs against the ropes again. Misfit tries catching SC with a huricanrana but SC counters with a powerbomb. SC goes to the top. Misfit slowly tries getting to his feet as SC sits and waits. Once Misfit's up, SC comes off with a missle dropkick but Misfit blocks it and shoves SC to the side, down to the mat. When SC tries getting back up, Misfit catches him and hits him with a spinning neckbreaker. Misfit makes a cover, 1.......2.....SC kicks out. Misfit stomps SC some before pulling him up. Misfit with some knife edge chops to SC backing him into the ropes. Misfit whips SC into the ropes and catches him with a sleeperhold. Sc is quickly able to fight out of the sleeper. Misfit now applies a side headlock onto SC. SC with a few elbows to the sternum of Misfit. He then pushes Misfit into the ropes and catches him with a sleeper.
Jeff: All these jobbers putting on sleepers is putting me to sleep
Dave: What are you talking about, these are two fine young crusierweights at their best.
Jeff snores as Dave says that.
Inside the ring, Misfit has gotten out of SC's hold by hitting him with a mule kick. Misfit then whips SC into the ropes. He tries taking him over with a hip toss but SC blocks it, then goes for the Westside Stretch. Misfit blocks any and all attempts at SC putting his finishing hold on. Misfit then hits SC with a hard knee to the stomach. Misfit then grabs SC and hits him with the Juggalo Drop. Misfit makes a cover, 1.......2........3
WINNER: Misfit
Dave: So Misfit comes up with a huge win over Short Circuit and moves onto the second round of the tourney.
Jeff continues to snore.
Dave: Ok, we need to head to a commercial. When we return Trashcan Man will hit the ring in first round tournament action. We will be right back.
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Rubbermaid)
Dave: OK, welcome back to Turmoil. We are ready to go with our next tourney match, so let's head to the ring.
(U2's "Beautiful Day" graces the speakers as PPL comes out)
Clay: The following is a first round match in the PCW World title tournament. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Boca del Inferno, from San Francisco, California, at a weight of 267 pounds......."PRECIOUS" PETER LOVE
("While the City Sleeps" by MC 900 ft Jesus plays as the Asylum leader, Trashcan Man, emerges from the back with can in hand.)
Clay: His opponent, at a weight of 275 pounds.......TRASHCAN MAN
PPL jumps all over TCM as he comes into the ring. PPL hammers away at the back of TCM. He then grabs TCM from behind and sets him up for a german suplex. Before he does it though, PPL starts dry humping TCM from behind. This lights a fire under the ass of TCM. PPL goes to take TCM over but TCM blocks the attempt, then hits PPL with a jawbreaker. TCM, enraged by PPL's actions, whips him hard into the ropes and takes him down with a big boot. TCM, looking madder than ever before, pulls PPL up nearly ripping PPL's hair from it's roots. He hits him with a hard knee to the gut. TCM then follows that up by lifting PPL high in the air and dropping him flat on his head with The Pyro Driver. Boca, knowing his lover's in trouble, runs into the ring. TCM hits him with a knee to the stomach then drops him with The Pyro Driver as well. Seeing both Ream Team Members down in the center of the ring, TCM pins them both. Referee Speedy Riggs wonders what he should do, then counts both men down, 1.......2........3
Winner: Trashcan Man
Steven: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Dave: So, Trashcan Man moves on to face Misfit in the second round of the tourney. What a minute!
Suddenly, all six members of media charge out of the back and towards the ring. Trashcan Man beckons them to come.
Chat King is the first one to hit the ring, and the first one to hit the mat courtesy of a big right hand from TCM. PCW Continental Champ rushes in but catches a boot to the gut for his trouble and staggers away to catch his wind.
Mr. Showtime hits the ring and he and TCM begin trading punches. TCM begins to get the upperhand, but his momentum is cut short by a blind side HOMICIDAL SPEAR from Homicidal Anthony Cay.
Boos and debris thunder out of the crowd.
The six Media members begin mercilessly stomping on TCM.
Dave: (disgusted) This is just a sickening display!!!
Steven: Oh the humanity! Someone put a stop to it!
Tyler Nelson scoops up TCM and nails him with GREED IS GOOD! This urges the crowd to throw more and larger foreign objects to the ring.
The Media members celebrate over TCM's unmoving body and welcome the debris from the crowd and beckon them to throw more.
Steven: It's all fun and games boy until someone loses an eye.
Jeff: Yeah, just ask actress Sandy Duncan!
Tyler Nelson pulls out a microphone.
Tyler Nelson: You know, you fans can boo all you want, but it doesn't change one God D
Nelson's words are interrupted by the theme to the Frugal Gourmet Show.
Dave: WHAT?!? That's the Chef's music!
The Chef and Martha Stewart charge to the ring, rolling pins in hand. They slides into the ring and thumps Mr. Showtime across the back with it, the kicks Chris Allen down low. Martha hits Tyler Nelson in the skull, prompting him to drop like he had just been hit in the head with a rolling pin. The rest of Media hastily exits the ring as Chef wildly brandishes his rolling pin.
Dave: Chef and Martha Stewart just ran off all six members of Media!!!
Jeff: What the hell is that! Someone do a sack check on those six guys!!!
Dave: I am being told that we are ready to go with our Extreme Title match where Revenant defends against Dark Lotus, Vegita and Flaymin Amin..
Steven: Oh great, I got extreme before we came on the air with Boca in
The shower.
Jeff: God why don't you just shut the hell up.
The scene shifts to the backstage area where it appears the Extreme
Title match has already began as Revenant was attempting to make his way out to the ring he is jumped by Flaymin Aymin. Revenant snap mares FA over and kicks him stiffly acrossed the lower back. Dark Lotus comes running into view with a wooden crate which he smashes to splinters over the head of Rev. DL begins to lift Revenant back to his feet but is meet with a low blow from Flaymin Amin.
As Dark Lotus and Flaymin Amin slug it out Rev attempts to make it to
His feet but is smacked in the back of the head with a chair by Vegita who just came into the picture. Vegita hammers away at Revenant with the chair and goes for the pin, but his attempt is broken up by both Dark Lotus and Flaymin Amin. Now all four men have made it upright and Flaymin Amin is paired off with Rev and DL with Vegita. DL whips Vegita into a soda machine, then charges into him with a knee to the face. DL picks up Vegita and hits a falcon arrow through a condiment stand. DL covers Vegita 1........2........ broken up by Revenant. Revenant pulls Vegita up and whips him into the mens room. DL turns to be hit with a stop sign by Flaymin Amin knocking him into the mens room as well. With all four men now in the restroom Flaymin Amin proceeds to dunk DL's head in the fecal matter of the toliet bowel. This angers DL who elbows Flaymin Amin in the gut. DL lifts his head from the nasty water and rips the toilet seat off. He places the toilet seat around the head of FA and hits a russian leg sweep. Dark Lotus covers FA and the ref
counts 1....2.....3.
FLAYMIN AMIN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.
Outside the stall where Flaymin Amin has just been eliminated Revenant
And Vegita are exchanging right hands. Revenant ducks and spins Vegita
around and nails him with a belly to back suplex smashing Vegitas head into the porceline sink. Rev then goes for the cover but hesitates long enough for DL to drop and elbow to the back of his head. Rev makes it back to his feet and he and DL begin to punch each other, one on each side of an unconscious Vegite. The two men pause for a second and look down at Vegita and then back to each other. Simultaniously they each place a foot on the chest of Vegita and the ref makes the count.1...2...3
VEGITA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED.
Jeff: I think those two morons just realized that this is an elimination match.
Steven: I just love team work, I always tell Legion that two heads are
Better than one.
Dave: Stop!
With the match down to Dark Lotus and Revenant the two men stare each
Other down, but just as Rev starts to come towards DL the door to one of the stall swings open smacking him right in the face. DL stands there in shock for a second and then drops down and covers Revenant. 1....2....3.
Winner and new Extreme Champion, Dark Lotus!
Dave: Who opened the stall door in Revenants face?
Jeff: I dont' know but they sure laid him out.
The camera pulls back and shitfs around the corner of the stall to
Reveal Kremmen sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper.
Dave: PCW's first World Champion just cost Revenant the Extreme title!
Jeff: BAAHAHAHA!!!! And that is why PCW is great!!
Dave: Agreed. We need to pay some bills. When we return, Mr. Showtime will defend the PCW Television Title against fellow Media stablemat HAC, The Chef and the Innovator Brock Newbludd.
Jeff: There is a lot of bad blood in that match over and above Newbludd.
Dave: (sighing) We'll be right back.
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Tampex)
Dave: Ok, welcome back! We are ready to head to the ring for the TV Title match.
("Seek and Destroy" by Metallica plays as Brock Newbludd comes out.)
Clay: The following is a 4 corners match for the PCW Television championship. Introducing first, from Ashland, Wisconsin, at a weight of 230 pounds......."THE INNOVATOR" BROCK NEWBLUDD
("Eat It" by Weird Al plays as Chef comes out with rolling pin in hand)
Clay: His opponent, from Paris, France, at a weight of 330 pounds.......THE CHEF
("I Disappear" from Metallica plays as HAC comes out with Chris Allen, Lizzy, and his tag title belt.)
Clay: And their opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Lizzy Borden and "Hardknocks" Chris Allen, from Kansas City, Kansas, at a weight of 259 pounds, he is one half of the PCW Tag Team champions......."HOMICIDAL" ANTHONY CAY
("Danger" by Mystikal plays as the final man in the match, Mr. Showtime, comes out with Jennifer Lopez.)
Clay: Finally, being accompanied to the ring by Jennifer Lopez, from Brooklyn, New York, at a weight of 300 pounds, he is the PCW Television champion.......MR. SHOWTIME
The two Media members both come at Brock. Brock catches HAC with a right sending him reeling. He then hits Showtime with a right sending him reeling back. HAC comes at him again but Brock hits him with a dropkick taking him down. He then hits Showtime with a dropkick taking the TV champ down. Brock Newbludd is in control until, WHAM!, Chef clocks him from behind with the rolling pin.
Steven: YESSS!!! Now Newbludd will seek revenge and he Chef will need my services!!!
Chef then starts to stomp away at Brock. Showtime and HAC get up and join in. Chris Allen comes into the ring and helps out. Referee Buzz Meacham throws the match out.
NO CONTEST
As the beating out Brock continues, out from the back run The Outcasts. They don't get very far though as the rest of Media comes out. All of the Media members in the ring, except for Chef, run out and meet up with The Outcasts. A huge brawl ensues on the outside. On the inside, Chef sets Brock up and hits him with the Filet Mignon. PCW officials have started to try and break up the brawl outside thering but aren't having much luck. Everyone is paired off on the outside. Chet King and Miyagawa, Kano and Dan Hollywood, Bang Davenport and Mr. Showtime, and Stephen Blood with both of the Media Assassins. Kid Wonder and Tyler Nelson just talk smack to one another while being restrained. Inside the ring, Chef continues beating away at Brock. As a ref comes in to restrain Chef, the gourmet king talks a bit of trash to the downed Blood Brother.
Dave: The rich keep getting richer!! Chef has joined Media!
Jeff: And to think I thought he was sleeping with Martha to get his new cooking show. Now we know he was sleeping with her for pleasure because he made deal with Media!
Dave: The thought of sleeping with Martha Stewart for pleasure is enough to make mere mortals shudder.
Jeff: Was that a joke Dave? Where you trying to be funny?
Dave: No, that is the sad apart about the whole thing. Let's go to a commercial!
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Nilla Wafers)
Dave: Ok, we are ready for our main event. Let's head to the ring.
("C.R.E.A.M" by Wu-Tang Clan plays as the Media team comes out along with Buffy Vegas and Mr. Simmons.)
Clay: The following is a 6 man tag team match. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Mr. Simmons and Buffy Vegas, at a combined weight of 681 pounds.......the PCW Continental champion DAN HOLLYWOOD, CHET KING, and TYLER NELSON
("Dream a Little Dream of Me" by The Mamas and the Papas plays as the team of Frisco, Doug Troy, and Hans Kruger come out together.)
Clay: Their opponents, at a combined weight of 715 pounds.......HANS KRUGER, FRISCO, and DOUG TROY
Frisco and Chet start things out. The two men lock up for a moment until Frisco just pushes Chet down to the mat. Chet, from down on the mat, looks up at Frisco, then scurries over to his corner and tags in TN. Frisco just stares at TN as he comes into the ring, then thinks about fighting him but goes over and tags in his buddy, Doug Troy, instead. DT and TN are the legal men. The two men circle eachother, then are about to lock up but TN hits DT with a poke to the eye. TN now punching away at DT. TN backing DT into the ropes. He whips the former champ into the ropes but DT bounces off and takes Tyler down with a big clothesline. Chet comes running in but DT takes him over with a big back body drop. DH runs in but DT hits him with a dropkick. TN tries hitting DT from behind but DT senses it coming and kicks TN in the stomach. Then he grabs him and hits him with a double underhook suplex. DT with the cover, 1.....2....DH able to break it up. Frisco runs in and clotheslines DH over the top rope. Chet also up but HK comes in and takes him over the top. DT then grabs TN and tosses him over the top. DAMN has cleaned house and the fans are going crazy. Media gets together outside of the ring to discuss how to attack the force known as DAMN. After much discussion, all 3 men come back into the ring. DH and Chet go out onto the apron as DT stands in the ring watching and waiting. TN then tags in Chet.
Chet and DT lock up. DT gets the upper hand and backs Chet into the corner. Referee Buzz Meacham steps in between the two men and breaks them up. DT alows for a clean break but Chet doesn't. Chet pokes DT in the eye then starts going to work on him. Chet puts DT in the corner and starts to stomp away at him. Meacham comes in to break it up. As he pushes Chet away from DT, thus being distracted, TN and DH come in and take advantage and beat on DT. HK tries coming in but Meacham sees him and stops him. This allows Chet to get in on the action and a 3 on 1 on DT ensues. Eventually, though, Frisco also comes in and, together, Frisco and HK get past the ref and an all out brawl starts up. TN is working on DT, Frisco on Chet, and HK on DH. TN pulls DT up and throws him out of the ring. But, in the meantime, Frisco has also removed Chet. The battle between HK and DH ends up going out of the ring as well. Frisco and Tyler Nelson are the only two men remaining inside the ring. Meacham, who has lost all control, just lets them remain the legal men.
Frisco and TN are about to tie up but Frisco hits TN with a hard knee to the gut. He then picks TN up high in the air and drops him with the Migraine. Frisco then goes up to the top and hits him with a 630 senton.
Dave: WHOA!!! How many flips did he do?
Jeff: That's nothing
Steven: I wonder how his sack holds up during that
Loud slap from Jeff to Steven, (as you could expect)
Inside the ring, Frisco covers, 1......2.....Chet pulls Frisco out of the ring. He gets all of about two shots in before DT comes over and a 2 on 1 beatdown ensues on Chet. Meanwhile, on the outside, HK has DH down. HK, seizing the opportunity, comes into the ring. TN slowly gets up but doesn't know about HK yet as HK stands behind him. When he turns around, HK grabs him and hits him with an overhead belly to blly suplex. He then locks him in a half crab. Buffy Vegas hops onto the apron and distracts Meacham. TN is tapping out but the ref doesn't se it. With the ref distracted, DH sneaks back into the ring, grabs HK from behind and nails him with the Continental Title Belt, dropping the efficient German like a sack of potatoes.
Dave: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Jeff: YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
Steve: BOOOOOOOOOOOCA!!!
The fans erupt into a chorus of boos.
DH then slides back out of the ring to help Chet keep DT and Frisco out. Buffy hops off the apron as, inside, TN covers the downed HK, 1.......2........3! Before Frisco and DT get a chance to see hat just happened, the match is over.
WINNERS: Media
Nelson stands in the ring triumphantly over the stunned Kruger. Doug Troy manages to slip away from the battle at ringside and slide into the ring. DH tries to grab his foot as he slides in but misses.
DT grabs a hold of the celbrating Nelson, spins him around and nails him with THE TAKE. Nelson is out cold.
The rest of Media charges out of the back.
Frisco dispatches of Chet King and heads into the ring. Kruger gets to his feet.
Dave: We are out of time!!! We will see you on Saturday night from San Francisco on Fusion! Good night everybody!
Jeff: WAIT!!!!
The camera switches up to the Jumbotron which has suddenly flickered to life. The camera is focused on a fat, unclean torso, which can only belong to one man.and that man is Trashcan Man.
He's holding a gasoline can and pouring it all around him.
All of the wrestlers have stopped in the tracks and are staring at the Jumbotron.
Jeff: What is that freak doing?!!
Trashcan Man looks at the camera and gives a familiar, wild-eyed grin.
Trashcan Man: Hey, Media, let's see if this burns a little hole in your pocketbook, shall we?
The camera pans to see the Trashcan Man jumping off the roof of Media's hummer limo in the parking lot.
The camera briefly goes up into the ring, and focuses in on Tyler Nelson, who is shaking off the cobwebs after being hit with DT's finisher. Nelson's eyes grow wide as he looks up at the Jumbotron and realizes what is going to happen next.
Trashcan Man grins as he reaches into his pocket for a cigarette. He lights it up with his trusty Zippo and takes a deep drag. He grins as he flicks the cigarette behind him as he walks away. The camera follows the cigarette as it flips end over end and lands in the pool of gasoline surrounding the limo. The gasoline puddle ignites into a blue glow.
The camera pans way as a huge boom and explosion are heard and seen. The explosion fills the entire picturethen the scene and the show fade to black.