Live from the Kibbe Dome, in Moscow, Idaho
The show opens to show a lavishly decorated locker room through the lense of what appears to be a black and white surveillance camera. The camera is shooting from one of the upper corners of the room, giving the impression it could be a hidden camera.
The poor quality, black and white feed begins slowly panning across the room from right to left, finally revealing the room only has one occupant: Primetime Championship Wrestling's President and Media Member, the talk show host turned wrestler, Chet King the Chat King.
King is sitting at a desk reading over some application forms for people who want to become PCW superstars.
King: Hah!! Kurt Ragnarok! This application isn't worth wiping my ass with, let alone consideration!
King throws the application in the garbage. King grabs the next application on the list and begins chuckling.
King: John Jupiter.DE-NIED!
King tosses the application over his shoulder..
Just as King is about to pick up another application there is a knock onthe door.
Chet King: "Who is it?"
Person knocking on the door: "It's Riptah of Da Westsidaz, I'm here with my homey Short Circuit, you wanted us?"
Chet King: "Yes I did, I'll just let you in."
(Chet King the Chat King goes over to the door and let's former gang bangers in, and motions for them to take a seat at some of the chairs sitting at the table.)
Chet King: "So did you guys get the check I sent you?"
Short Circuit: "Yes we did, thanks for that!"
Chet King: "So are you guys going to do what I asked you to?"
Riptah: "Look Chet, we like money and all, but we aren't going to be laying down for The Media Assassins at March Madness!"
Chet King: "So you've decided to reject my offer have you? You're not going to take a fall in the tag team title match at March Madness and let Chris and Anthony pin you guys?"
Riptah: "That's right!"
Chet King: "I hope you've realized what you've just done! You better be prepared to have your arses kicked by Media for the rest of your days!"
Short Circuit: "But we can keep the check, right?"
Chet King: "Of course you can't keep the check!"
Short Circuit: "But that check is the most money we've ever had in our lives! There ain't a lot of money kicking around the ghetto, yo!"
Chet King: "Well too bad!"
(Riptah and Short Circuit quickly discuss something quietly amongst themselves.)
Riptah: "We've come up with an idea so that we can keep the money and help Media out, especially you!"
Chet King: "Ok, what is it?"
Chet King puts his head up and rolls his eyes. S
Riptah: "Well......"
Chet King: (interrupting, looking straight at the camera) "Wait one second!"
Chet King gets up and grabs his chair. Riptah and Short Circuit look for cover, but instead of waffling one of the former gang bangers, King and his chair make a bee-line towards the camera. Chet puts the chair down and steps up onto it, and peers directly into the camera. He then reaches up and grabs the lense.
Chet King: Well, mother fu.
Chet King pulls the camera and the scene breaks to static.
The usual opening promo Turmoil featuring PCW wrestlers in action overlayed on a backdrop of a ruined and burning city. Wrestlers featured are Flaymin Aymin, Chet King, Doug Troy, The Super Duper Masked Jobber King and Trashcan Man.
Just after the opening promo rolls, the scene shifts to the inside of the Kibbe Dome in Moscow, Idaho as pyros shoot off from the ceiling, ring posts and entryway and "Momma Said Knock You Out" from LL Cool J and its driving bass pound across the PA system.
The cameras begin zooming around the arena taking brief samples of the crowd. The first group lucky enough to catch two seconds of air time are holding up toy tractors and a huge "Flaymin Aymin, Your Next PCW Champion!" sign. Mercifully, the director cuts to another camera which is focused on a couple of exceptionally well endowed farm girls wearing overalls.and just overalls. As the camera man moves to get the profile shot of these women any red blooded man around the world is praying for, he camera suddenly cuts to the front row the arena where former Primetime Indy Circuit World Champion Nate Dumas is once again shown sitting at ringside with PCW Personnel Director, Jane Reagan.
Finally, the scene shifts to the announce table where PCW's never been awarded even a single solitary award for anything is ready to begin calling tonight's action.
Dave Kern: Hello everyone and welcome to this special Wednesday edition of Primetime Championship Wrestling's Turmoil. I'm Dave Kern and I am joined at my announce position as always by Jeff Marx and Steven Smith. We are coming to you live from the Kibbe Dome in Moscow, Idaho and by the end of tonight only four men will remain in the hunt for the PCW World Heavyweight Title this Sunday at March Madness.
Jeff: That's right, the quest to get demolished by Meanstreak ends this Sunday!
Dave: (chuckling) Well, that is a common misnomer, but after tonight it is a new ball game and any of the Final Four have gold well within their reach. Ok, it looks as if we are ready to head to the ring for our first match of the evening where the Commissioner of PCW and our Continental Champion Dan Hollywood will take on Fallen in a non title contest.
Jeff: That's right, Fallen is part of the Continental Title match this Sunday at Madness, so this will be a little preview of Sunday.
Dave: Let's send it up to Clay Clayborne!
"Just Got Wicked" by Cold starts to play over the P.A. system.
Clay Clayborne: The following is a non-title match up. Introducing first, hailing from Windsor, Ontario, Canada and weighing in at 226 pounds, Fallen!
Fallen appears at the top of the ramp, dressed in a black trench coat with a black mesh shirt and leather pants underneath. He slowly makes his way to ringside, seemingly oblivious to the cheers from the fans. He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and stands in the middle of the ring, his stare fixated on the ramp.
"Californication" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers pipes through the arena speakers as the Continental Champion makes his way into the arena to a chorus of boos.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, weighing 225 pounds, from Hollywood, California and accompanied by Buffy Vegas. He is the Commissioner of PCW and the Continental Champion, and a proud member of Media, "The A-List" Dan Hollywood!
The boos are deafening as 'The Commish' cockily stands at the top of the ramp and looks out at the crowd, adjusting his big crazy ass sunglasses. He looks at Buffy and makes a disgusted face, then plugs his nose as he makes his way down the ramp. Buffy fans her hand in front of Dan's face, trying to wave the inferred stench away from DH. They stop at the bottom of the ramp and DH laughs at Fallen, who is still standing in the center of the ring staring at Dan. He waves off his opponent and walks slowly up the stairs to the ring apron, stopping at the top to mockingly wave at the crowd which draws another round of boos louder than before. DH calls the referee over to get him to keep Fallen back so he can enter the ring. The ref complies and DH climbs through the ropes, keeping an eye on Fallen the whole time. DH removes his crazy ass sunglasses and hands them to Buffy. Fallen tries to rush DH but the Continental champ ducks his head through the ropes, calling the ref again to back Fallen off. As the ref gets in front of Fallen and pushes him back, DH springs to the attack firing a right hand over the back of the ref and onto the face of Fallen. The ref calls for the bell and the match is under way.
DH fires right hands and knife edge chops that back Fallen into the corner. DH continues to assault Fallen as the ref starts to make the five count1234DH breaks up but not before he slaps Fallen across the face and smiles at him. Irate, Fallen charges out of the corner and tackles DH to the mat. Fallen lands with some right hands and the two competitors roll around on the canvas exchanging the advantage a couple times. Finally Fallen ends up on top and rapidly sends right hands crashing into DH's head. Fallen hops to his feet and pulls DH up with him, then sends DH into the ropes and nails him with a dropkick on the return. DH hits hard on the canvas but hops up only to be met with a vicious lariat from Fallen who quickly makes a pin attempt1.2.kick out by DH. Fallen measures DH up and bounces off the ropes as DH gets to his feet. Fallen comes off with a bulldog on DH and goes for another pin attempt12another kick out. Fallen springs to his feet and goes to the outside and up to the top rope. DH stands up and staggers about, falling on the ropes which causes Fallen to lose his balance and get crotched on the top turnbuckle. DH shakes a few of the cobwebs loose and sees Fallen straddling the top and goes over. DH climbs to the second turnbuckle, firing a couple stiff rights to Fallen's face. Then DH cinches him up and climbs to the top turnbuckle with Fallen. DH then delivers a superplex that takes it's toll on both men. The referee starts the ten count1.2.DH starts to stir on the mat3.4.DH gets to his feet and goes over to Fallen, dragging him up by his hair. DH whips him into the ropes and executes a drop toe hold followed up by an elbow to the back of the head. Fallen covers his head in agony as DH stalks around the ring wearing a devious smile on his face. The crowd roars its disapproval and DH eats it up, jawing with a few fans at ringside. Meanwhile Fallen has gotten up and walks up behind DH, spinning him around and nailing him with two right hands followed up by a scoop slam and a standing leg drop. Fallen covers DH1kick out. Fallen bends down to pick up DH but gets a poke in the eye for his troubles. Fallen staggers around the ring aimlessly as DH runs at him and delivers a clothesline that sends Fallen out to the floor. Like a cat DH hops up to the top turnbuckle and leaps down on Fallen with a corkscrew plancha. Both men are hurt, but DH is to his feet first. He picks up Fallen and sends him under the bottom rope and into the ring. DH slides in after him and pauses for a moment, looking out towards the crowd. DH signals to the crowd that the match is over and waits for Fallen to get to his feet. Then DH springs off the ropes going for the D-List but out of nowhere Fallen hits DH with the Silencer! Fallen quickly grabs the stunned DH and nails him with the Down Fall. Fallen hooks the leg1.2.3!
Winner: Fallen Time: 7:24
Dave: Fallen has just defeated the Continental in a non-title contest!!!
Steven: But can he do it again on Sunday when it counts and there are others involved?!
Jeff: I suppose the cheap bastards at home will have to fork over $20 for the Pay-Per-View to find out!
Dave: Did you just call our viewers, cheap bastards?
Jeff: Why, yes. Yes I did.
Dave: (sighing) Let's head to the ring for our next matchup before Jeff's mouth drives away our viewing audience.
'Man In The Box'by Alice In Chains hits the PA system as orange and blue strobe lighting flash all over the arena.Then a set of fireworks go off at either side of the entracne way as 'The Damn Show'Adam Roberts makes his way out to the ring.He goes through the middle rope and stands in the centre of the ring then raises his right hand slowly in the air and fireworks.
Clay Clayborne: Now on his way to the ring, weighing in at 245lbs, Adam Roberts!
"Sweet Dreams" hits the PA system and out charges Slade. Jack McGriff and BOB are in hot pursuit. Once all four ment make it to the ring, the bell rings.
JMG and Slade are trading punches, as are BOB and AR. AR is getting the best of BOB, and Slade is getting the best of JMG. Slade and AR back their men into the corners, then look at each other. The two men whip their opponents towards each other. As they draw closer, BOB slides under JMG, quickly gets up, and hits Slade with a running clothesline. At the same time, JMG takes AR down with a running lariat. JMG grabs AR and tosses him through the ropes and out of the ring. On the other side of the ring, BOB is stomping away at Slade until JMG runs and hits BOB from behind. This gives Slade a chance to roll out of the ring.
Dave: Here comes company
Jeff: Oh, great, the jobber convention has gotten even bigger.
Out from the back, slowly, strolls Spawn. As Slade starts to get up outside the ring, Spawn strikes. Spawn starts beating up Slade until JMG goes out of the ring and starts beating Spawn up. Slade gets up and he and JMG double-team Spawn until Wade Garrison runs out. Wade and Spawn team up to fight JMG and Slade. Those 4 men all trade punches with one another.
On the other side of the ring, the members of DEATH ROW, Doc Shock, Intoxicator and Death, have all run out.
Dave: WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE!!!
All three of them jump all over AR on the other side of the ring. The 3 men take AR and toss him towards the other 4 men fighting. An all out brawl ensues outside the ring. Out from the back runs Hans Kruger. He hits Wade from behind. Hans is able to do a little more damage to Wade until Guy Leslie runs out and attacks Hans. As Guy and Hans start to battle up the ramp, TriP and Tommy Danger come running out from the back and attack Wade. Guy and Hans battle up the ramp and all the way to the back. Meanwhile, 10 guys battle on the outside as BOB stands in the ring and watches. After enough watching, BOB bounces off the ropes, springs off the top, and hits a springboard pescado onto ALL the guys taking EVERYONE down.
Dave: OH MY GOD!!
Jeff: We are getting a preview of the Rising Star Title Battle Royal at Madness ladies and gentleman!
Crowd: PCW! PCW! PCW!
BOB is the first man up on the outside and he rolls back into the ring. As all the others begin getting up outside the ring, they all start pairing off. The guys of DEATH ROW lay a beating to TRiP, Danger, and Wade. Slade and JMG start to beat on Spawn and AR. Hans and Guy have battled back to the locker room area. Then, at the top of the ramp, Chris Metal shows up. He stands at the top of the ramp laughing at everyone. Everyone looks up at him, see him, and charge up there. Chris Metal runs back to the back as everyone except BOB and AR have gone back after him.
Just as Metal reaches the entryway, Justin Sane appears and crushes Metal in the head with a steel chair.
Jeff: His name may be Metal, but his head is made of flesh and bone.
Sane stands over Metal and begins to jaw at him.
AR rolls back into the ring. AR stands in the ring and watches everyone go backstage after Chris Metal. While AR is watching them, BOB has snuck up behind AR. While AR has his back turned, BOB rolls him up from behind, 1..2..3
WINNER: BOB Time: 6:01
Dave: So BOB comes out the victor in a match where all rules completely were thrown out the window!
Jeff: Sorry, I had dozed off.
Dave: (sighing) We are going to head to a commercial. We will be right back!
(Commercial: "Alive" from Pearl Jam fills the background as the screen fades in to show The Super Duper Masked Jobber King, Frisco, Trashan Man, Meanstreak, Kremmen then Doug Troy in black and white, slow motion action.
Narrator: 64 men began the quest.Only one will finish. Who will it be? Find out this Sunday, on March Madness. Call your local cable company or satellite provider to order today! )
The show fades back in to show PCW Cruiserweight Champion Jake Keeton and his tag teamj partner Slade in the backstage area of the arena. Slade looks winded after his previous match. Keeton, meanwhile, is on his cellular phone.
Keeton: (on the phone) Cool bro. Yeah, this is gonna rock
(Keeton chuckles)
Keeton: (on the phone) Yeah, even more than Kano. Alright man
The Pimply Faced Intern Kid approaches Keeton and Slade carrying some sort of small, thin package. Keeton looks over at the Acne Ridden Reporter with a look of disdain, while Slade straightens.
Keeton: (on the phone) Hey man, hold that thought. Hold on a minute.
Keeton cups the phone and eyes PFIK suspiciously.
Keeton: (to PFIK) Well, you need something other than a 50 gallon drum of Clearasil and a blow (bleep) or are you just admiring the view?
PFIK hangs his head in bumpy-faced shame. Slade laughs at his expense.
PFIK: (voice cracking) Sorry to disturb you Mr. Keeton, but this package came
The startled PFIK's words are cut off as Keeton snatches the package from his hands. Keeton looks at the package label, and a wide smile crosses his face. PFIK just stands there, dumbfounded.
Slade: Is that it?
Keeton nods. PFIK still continues to stare at Slade and Keeton.
Keeton: (to PFIK) What ya waiting for a tip?
PFIK stands frozen, like a deer caught in headlights.
Keeton: Here's a tip for ya. Don't talk to women with three lips!
Keeton and Slade share a laugh, then Keeton's smile turns back to a frown.
Keeton: (to PFIK) Now take a hike, before Slade and I exfoliate your zit factory of a face by grinding it against the concrete floor.
PFIK finally gets up the courage to run away. Keeton and Slade elbow each other and snicker, the Keeton puts the phone back to his ear.
Keeton: (to the phone) Alright man, sorry to leave ya hangin' there. Oh, okay, its cool. I'll be seeing you on Sunday. Peace!
Keeton shuts off his phone.
Slade: So it's a go then?
Keeton smiles evilly and nods.
Keeton holds up the package he just received from the PFIK.
Keeton: And we are set for tonight. Let's go get ready.
The camera shifts back to the announce table.
Jeff: Nothing like a promo with the Pimply Faced Intern Kid in it to spur interest and drive ratings.
Dave: Would you just shut up. We are ready to head to the ring as a couple of our competitors for the Rising Star Title are already in the ring.
Clay Clayborne: This is a fatal four way for the vacant Rising Star Title.
In the ring at this time, weighing in at 235lbs, ......TRiP. And also in the ring at this time, hailing from the united Kingdom, weighing in at 325 lbs,.....Wade "Big Hurt" Garrison.
Garrison attacks the unexpecting TriP immediately.
"Smack My Bitch Up" by The Prodigy hits the P.A. system. Chris Metal charges to the ring to get into the ensuing ruckus in the ring.
Clay: And the next opponent...from Birmingham , Alabama......Chris Metal.
"Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down hits the loudspeakers as Tommy Danger takes his time heading to the ring.
Dave Kern: Smart move by Danger. He's waiting for a spot to jump in.
Jeff Marx: Waiting for them to wear each other down.
Steven: Kind of like I do when I am together with the Ream Team.
Tommy Danger is watching at ringside as the three men in the ring attack and fight each other. Garrison heads out and goes after TD. They exchange blows , with the bigger WG getting the advantage and knocking Danger down. In the ring Metal rolls up TRiP for the early pin. Big Hurt in to break it up. WG and TRiP double team CM. TD back in and hits a spinning wheel kick on WG. TD and CM double team TRiP then they attack each other. Suplex on Metal by Danger. TRiP goes for the knee of the Big Hurt. TRiP working the knee of WG as TD and Metal beat on each other in the other corner. TRiP to the top , elbow drop to the knee. WG screams in pain. Reversal by Metal to TD. Enziguri by Metal. TD down. Cover by Metal..1..2..NO
Broken up by TRiP.
Dave: That was close!
WG is back on his feet and attacks Metal. TRiP heads outside to look for a chair , but gets met with a missile dropkick by TD. TD mounts the fallen TRiP as he pounds the man with lefts and rights. Garrison goes outside and hits TD from behind with a big boot , followed by a leg drop to the back of the head. TD and TRiP are out. Garrison back in and goes after Chris Metal. Metal hits a snapmare on Garrison , follows up with a irish whip. Garrison leap frogs Metals backbody drop attempt then hits THE BIG HURT.
Death of Deathrow charges from the back.
Dave Kern: Big Hurt on Metal. New Champion here we go1..2THR...NO..NO..
Death slides into the ring and breaks the cover!
Jeff Marx: Where'd he come from?
Dave Kern: And he's not alone either! Look!!!!!!!!.
Death is joined by his stablemates Intoxicator and Doc Shock in the ring. They are viciously beating on TBH. Metal tries to break it up , but he catches suplex for his effort. TD in the ring...he gets hit with HANGOVER by Intox.
TRiP gets to his feet and Doc Shock hits him with a chair. Ref Meachem throws this bout out as the brawl continues. There is complete chaos and havoc in the ring. Security finally breaks the men up. Death asks for a mic as Tommy Danger leaves holding his neck and Metal gets up off the floor. WG is still being held back by security.
Death: You have all been sentenced to DEATHROW.
Death drops the mic and takes off with Intoxicator and Doc Shock in tow. Garrison still is jawing at them as TRiP finally gets to his feet.
Clay Clayborne: The ref has decided to throw the match out. It is a no contest decision {7:34}
Jeff Marx: These jabronis from Death Row are trying to make a name for themselves with cheap heat. What a bunch of scumbags!
Dave Kern: Things are picking up in the Rising Star division! How will they determine the entrance order for Sunday's PPV?
Jeff: Who cares? As if people order the PPV to see people who aren't Clyde!
Dave: Why do I bother? Let's head to a commercial!
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Fruity Pebbles and Fruit of the Loom. Officially endorsed by PCW's Steven Smith.)
Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil. Take a look at what happened while were at a commercial!
The scene shifts to the backstage area, where we see the Doug Troy, Frisco and Guy Lesle of DAMN walking down a hallway. A small graphic in the lower right hand corner of the picture reads "Moments Ago."
Doug: Tonight is gonna be a DAMN good night for us Frisco.
Frisco: DAMN straight, we are on our way to the Final Four, brotha.
Frisco, DT and Guy Leslie stop at the entrance to their locker room. They enter the dark room and switch on the light. The door starts to close as we hear a voice from inside.
Voice: Hope you guys didn't mind, we let ourselves in.
The door shuts completely and a commotion is heard within the room.
After a few minutes, the door re-opens and out comes all seven members of Media, led by the CEO of PCW Tyler Nelson, who is adjusting his tie and brushes off his suit.
Tyler: That ought to take care of those DAMN bastards.
Tyler takes a piece of paper out from his jacket pocket and unfolds it. Then he reaches in to the inside pocket and pulls out a pen. He takes the pen and starts to draw a line across the piece of paper.
Tyler: One down on the 'Hit List'.
The rest of the men are all smiles as they exit the room. After they have gone, the cameraman opens the door and we see the members of DAMN sprawled out on the floor.
Jeff: HA HA!!! DAMN got completely punked out!
Dave: Well, I suppose Doug Troy would rather catch a beating from Media in a secret locker room attack rather than relive the horror of your mom abducting him a few months back.
Jeff: (coldly) Oh, that's cool. How many times do I have to tell you that my REAL mother is actress Mabel King, who played "Momma" on the tremendously popular seventies sitcom "What's Happenin!?"
Dave: How many times do I have to call you a lying sack of donkey crap before you will finally shut the hell up about Mabel King being your biological mother?
Jeff: (shocked) I've never seen you so angry and aggressive before, Dave. Keep it up and maybe I'll have smidgen of respect for you sometime in the distant future.
Dave: ARGH! Let's head to the ring for our next match and there is a lot of bad blood between these two teams.
Jeff: That's right, Miyagawa knocked Reverend Jon Hull from the tourney with a little help from Phoenix. Now Reverend is in it for a little pay back.
Dave: Something has to be said for the ype of competitor Miyagawa is for even accepting this match, since he could be facing three matches tonight should he advance in the tournament.
Jeff : Something has to be said about Miyagawa's lack of intelligence for even accepting this match with and possibly damaging his chances of advancing in the tournament.
Steven: Something has to be said about his stamina, which from all accounts is as good if not greater than Boca's. The unfortunate thing is that Japanese boys have little ding-a-lings.
Dave and Jeff: (simultaneously) WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!
Dave: (regaining his compusure) Let's head to the ring.
("One Step Closer" by Linkin Park hits the PA system as Miyagawa and Phoenix appear at the top of the ramp way.)
Clay Claybourne: Now making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 436 lbs, Miyagawa and Phoenix!
(The two cruiserweights step through the ropes and into the ring. "Spirit in the Sky" begins to play over the PA system as a mixed reaction goes up from the crowd. The lights begin to flicker with each guitar riff from the song. As soon as all the other instruments join in with the guitar, huge white explosions go off all over the arena. Reverend appears at the top of the ramp way with Macaber following close behind him.)
Clay: Their challengers, weighing in at a combined weight of 584 lbs, Macaber Payne and former World Heavyweight Champion, Reverend Jon Hull!
(Reverend lays hands on his fans in the crowd as he energetically makes his way to the ring. Macaber rushes past Rev and slides under the bottom rope and begins to lay out both Phoenix and Miya with hard right hands. Reverend continues to interact with the fans at ringside. Macaber sends Miya out of the ring and turns toward Phoenix. Reverend jumps up on the apron. Macaber attempts a clothesline on Phoenix, but he ducks. Macaber hits the ropes and Reverend, sending Rev flying from the apron to the steel guardrail. Reverend holds his jaw as Macaber looks at Rev with a frustrated look. Phoenix catches Macaber in a schoolboy. 1kick out! Macaber does a backwards roll to his feet and nails a charging Phoenix with a hard clothesline. Reverend and Miya have made it back up to the apron. Macaber tags in Reverend. Reverend pulls Phoenix up by his head only to snap suplex him right back to the mat. Rev pulls Phoenix up and whips him into the turnbuckle. He follows through with a hard body splash on the smaller competitor. Phoenix falls out of the corner and to the mat. Reverend jeers at Miyagawa. Miya demands to get in the ring. Reverend pulls Phoenix over to Miya and allows the tag to happen. The two men stare at each other in the ring. Miya charges Rev, sliding in-between Rev's legs as he attempts to punch Miya. Miya gets to his feet and lays a still crescent kick to the jaw of Reverend sending him to the mat. Rev hops back up and is met with another crescent kick. Rev again hops back up and Miya attempts another crescent kick. Reverend catches Miya's leg and performs a clinching slam grounding him. Rev walks over and tags in Macaber. They pick up Miya and perform a double piledriver on him. Macaber goes for a pin. 12Kick out! Miya won't stay down. Macaber picks him back up and sends him into the ropes. He picks Miya up with both hands around his throat and drops him hard in to the mat. He goes for another pin. 12barely kicks out! Macaber begins to pick Miya up again. Miya starts throwing hard rights into Macabers stomach. The shots have no effect on Macaber who just laughs them off. Miya decides to aim a little lower and delivers a low blow. Macaber cringes and falls to the mat in pain. Miya begins to slowly crawl to his corner. Macaber is still stunned from the shot. Miya is close to making the tag. Macaber is now crawling toward Reverend's out reached hand. Miya makes the tag to Phoenix. Macaber is close to tagging Rev. Phoenix rushes across the ring and sends Rev flying off of the apron and into the guardrail with a stiff right forearm. Phoenix begins to kick at Macaber, but the monster seems to be absorbing the shots. He takes kick after kick but only begins to stand more. Macaber gets to his feet, grabs Phoenix and shoves him hard into the corner where the ref is standing. Macaber follows in and crushes both Phoenix and the ref with a hard body splash. The ref falls to the ground unconscious. Miya jumps into the ring and onto Macaber's back. He begins to slug away at the monster's head. Macaber reaches up and elevates Miya high above his head by placing his hands under his shoulders. He flips Miya over and slams him hard neck first onto the mat. Miya lays motionless. Phoenix has worked his way back to his feet and charges at Macaber. Macaber catches him in a full nelson and screams at Rev. Reverend grabs a steel chair from ringside and slides into the ring. He charges and swings the chair. Phoenix ducks under the blow and Rev nails Macaber solidly in the forehead. Macaber is dazed and falls backwards holding himself up with the ropes. Rev drops the chair in shock. He turns back toward Phoenix who nails a dropkick sending Reverend over the top rope. Reverend stumbles up to his feet but Phoenix flips over the ropes and lands on Reverend. His punches away at Reverend. Phoenix turns back toward the ring and jumps up on the apron. Macaber is recovered from the chair shot and walks toward Phoenix. Phoenix tries to flip over the ropes but is caught in mid air by Macaber who nails him with THE SPIRIT FALL! The ref slowly makes his way to make the count. 1.2..3!
Winners: Macaber Payne and Reverend Jon Hull Time: 7:34
Dave: So the Reverend and Macaber Payne exact a little revenge on Phoenix and Miyagawa here tonight.
Jeff: Who cares? Is it gonna get Reverend his tourney spot back? Answer: NOPE!
Dave: Uh oh!
Miyagawa rolls out of the ring, while Phoenix lays motionless in the center. Macaber picks up the motionless Phoenix and nails him with another SPIRIT FALL.
Dave: This is awful!!! Somebody get security.
A recovering Reverend slides back into the ring and tries to celebrate with Macaber. Macaber just stares blankly at Reverend and then leaves the ring, leaving Reverend confused standing in the middle of the ring. A frustrated Reverend kicks Phoenix in the gut and exits the ring following after Macaber.
Dave: Did you see that? Macaber didn't celebrate with Reverend.
Jeff: Well, you should know from first hand experience that being second fiddle carries a lot of resentment.
Dave: Why would I know from first hand experience?
Jeff: Cause we all know who the lead dog is on this announce team, and let's just say I'm not the one sniffing dog balls.
Steven: Sniffing them is ok, but they should be cleaned thoroughly prior to licking them.
There is dead air for..1..23.4..5 seconds.
Dave: (stunned and somber) Let's head to the ring for the PCW debut of "Amazing" Mike Storm.
Clay Clayborne: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, weighing in at 240 pounds, JJ!
And his opponent, soon to be making his way to the ring area, weighing in at 220 pounds, "Amazing" Mike Storm!
"Guilty Until Proven Innocent" by Jay-Z hits on the PA system. On the tron in bold blue letters flashes the word GREATNESS. JJ walks over to the side of the ring nearest the ramp, awaiting his opponent. The music continues, but no Mike Storm. JJ looks to be getting a little frustrated now, pacing back and forth like a caged lion. Them a commotion can be heard in the crowd and Mike Storm hops over the guardrail and slides into the ring.
He quickly puts JJ in a waistlock and muscles him over in a German suplex. The bell rings. MS keeps the waistlock and sets to his feet, dragging JJ up and this time hitting a German release suplex. JJ goes flying across the ring as the bell sounds to begin the match. MS stays on the attack and pulls JJ up getting him in a side headlock. JJ fights back to the ropes and sends MS to the other side. MS comes off and shoulder blocks JJ down to the canvas. MS goes into the ropes again and JJ drops down, MS skips over to the other side and back ducking under a JJ leapfrog. MS bounces off the other side and JJ tries to execute a hip toss, but MS reverses it and delivers one of his own sending JJ sprawling to the outside. As JJ walks around the outside trying to get a breather, MS runs and dives over the top rope landing on top of JJ. MS lifts JJ's limp body up and shoves him back into the ring. JJ rolls a couple times to the center of the ring, then struggles to his feet. MS stands on the outside, waiting for JJ to get up. When he does, MS hops onto the top rope and attempts a springboard huracanrana, but JJ catches him and turns it into a sit down power bomb. Both men lay in the ring for a few seconds and the referee starts the ten count1.2.3.MS begins to stir and get to his feet. JJ also starts to move and gets to one knee as MS bounces off the ropes and delivers a dropkick to the torso of JJ. MS quickly goes to the outside and climbs the turnbuckles to the top. He gets in position and salutes the crowd before he delivers the SkyTwisting Moonsault to the motionless JJ. MS makes the cover.1.2.3!
Winner: "Amazing" Mike Storm Time: 3:58
Dave: So masked marvel known as "Amazing" Mike Storm easily wins his first contest here in Primetime.
Jeff: (interrupting, yelling) LOOOOOOK!!!!
Storm is celebrating on the turnbuckle as "Amazing" Mike Storm look alike, wearing similar leggings and a duplicate mask hits the ring. The man is also approximately the same size as Mike Storm.
Dave: Who's that!
Jeff: I dunno!
The "other" Mike Storm rushes across the ring and grabs the unexpecting "Real" Mike Storm and yanks him backwards off of the turnbuckle. Storm falls and wacks his jaw on the turnbuckle as he lands. In a daze, he stumbles with around with his back still to the fake Mike Storm. The Fake Mike Storm then grabs Real Mike Storm from behind and drives him face first to the mat in a reverse uranage. Real Mike Storm is out cold.
Dave: Oh my God!!! That imposter just demolished Amazing Mike Storm!!! Who is that under the mask!
Jeff: It's gotta be Jake Keeton!
The moment Jeff mentions Jake Keeton's name, the Jumbo surges to life.
Dave: (with disdain) Oh what now!?
The camera closes in on the Jumbotron to show Jake Keeton in the locker room area, taping up his wrists for his third round tourney match.
Jake Keeton: Sorry to disappoint you Jeff, but I am right here in the back preparing for Miyagawa in a few moments. I hardly have time to worry about a pickled piss ant like the "Amazing" Spiderman there! That's not to say I didn't enjoy what we just witnessed.
Dave: So who could it be?
Jeff: I dunno? Miyagawa?
The masked man leaves the ring and exits through the crowd.
Dave: No, look!
The camera goes back to the Jumbotron, to show Miyagawa preparing for his third round match with Keeton, by pounding his head up against a Soda machine.
Dave: Ok, we are going to head to a commercial! When we return, Miyagawa will take on the PCW Cruiserweight Champion in third round World Title Tourney action. Don't go away!
(Commercial: PCW is sponsored by Bisquick. Bisquick, the only instant pancake mix available in China.)
The scene reopens as the Super Duper Masked Jobber King and his valet the Super Duper Masked Jobber King are shown entering the arena.
Dave: There is his, the mystery man ladies and gentleman!
Jeff: Mystery man? It's Kid Wonder in a mask!
Steven: I'd have to agree. From the bulge in the front of SDMJK's tights, I can tell it is indeed Kid Wonder.
There is dead air.
Jeff: Jesus, you are a ratings plague, Stephen.
Dave: For the first time in my life, I agree with the Jeff.
SDMJK and SDMJQ head into the Super Duper Masked Locker Room and flip on the light.Only to find the place bizarrely adorned with posters of Christina Aguleira, Surge Soft Drinks and Chuck Manson. SDMJK let's out a keening wail of disapproval, as the scene cuts back to the announce table.
Jeff: What the hell was that all about?
Dave: Dunno! Ok, it is time for the nitty gritty of the evening. These next few matches will determine who the Final Four competitors for the PCW World Heavyweight Title. Let's send it up to Clay Clayborne in the ring.
Clay Clayborne: This is a Third Round match up in the World Title tournament, introducing first, Miyagawa!
("One Step Closer" hits and Miyagawa runs to the ring ready for histhirdround match up.)
Dave: Miyagawa looks ready.
Steven: Really? It's so hard to tell with litty itty bitty Asian men.
Jeff: Your turn Dave.
A meaty smack is heard. There is wimpering followed by a brief period of sobbing.
Clay Claybourne: And his opponent, hailing from Lexington, Kentucky, he is the PCW Cruiserweight Champion, "The Future" Jake Keeton!
("Take a Look Around" by Limp Bizkit hits the PA and the fans erupt with boos but Keeton doesn't come out.
Dave: Where's Keeton?
Jeff: I dunno!?
(The music cuts off.)
Clay Claybourne: Here is Jake Keeton!
("Take a Look Around" hits but still no Keeton)
Suddenly the Jumbotron lights up and shows a bloody Jake Keeton being loaded into an ambulance.
Beside the ambulance stands Ryan Knox with a chair on the ground beside him
Dave: WHAT!!!
Jeff: Has Ryan Knox managed to score himself more cheap heat? The guy's work rate blows!
Dave: He is just taking revenge for the vicious attack he suffered at the hands of Keeton and Slade last Friday night!
Slade runs into the picture and begins to shout at Knox.
Slade: What the hell happened?
Knox: **laughing** Haha, I don't know, they said something about a head wound.
(Slade and Knox begin to exchange right hands until they are out of the picture and Keeton is loaded into the ambulance and the driver shuts the door. The break lights to the ambulance light up and the motor is turned over.
Suddenly, striding from out of the darkness, comes the Monster the Call Meanstreak. He rushes in front of the ambulance, and let's out a mighty roar.
Dave: IT'S MEANSTREAK!!!!
The driver of the ambulance panics. He opens up his door and runs off. Meanstreak heads to the back of the ambulance.
Dave: Jake Keeton is no good guy, but what is about to happen to him shouldn't ever happen to anyone.
Meanstreak grabs the back doors of the ambulance, only to find them locked. He then pounds his chest and let's our a bellowing howl as he grabs hold of the doors.
Dave: What's he gonna do!!!
Jeff: Well, we've seen him DVD a soda machine and flip a car in the past, so who knows?
Meanstreak let's out another roar, squats his legs, the thrusts back, ripping both doors complete off the emergency vehicle!
Jeff: The Monster just ripped the doors off that ambulance!
Dave: OH MY GOD! Look!
Meanstreak grabs Keeton by the leg and drags slings him up onto his shoulder. He then begins to walk towards the entryway.
Jeff: He's bringing him back to the ring!
Meanstreak emerges from the curtains with Keeton over his shoulder and makes his way down the aisle.
Dave: Someone call security to stop this mad man!
Jeff: You volunteering!
Dave: Absolutely not!
Meanstreak stops a few feet from the ring and places Keeton's back across his shoulders, and with one fluid motion drops the Cruiserweight champion with "At Deaths Door" He pulls him up and lifts Keeton over his heada nd tosses him over the top rope like a rag doll and into the ring!
Dave: Meanstreak just signed, sealed and delivered Jake Keeton to Miyagawa!
Jeff: Are they working together?
Dave: They had a loose relationship in the past back at Alliances!
Miyagawa looks down at Meanstreak whiling placing a his foot on Keetons chest and the ref counts 1...2...3
Winner: Miyagawa Time: :07
Dave: So Miyagawa moves on to fourth round action thanks to Meanstreak.
Jeff: Ack!!! He's coming this way!
There is the sound of headphones being dropped and people scattering, as the camera shows Meanstreak has moved over to the now vacant announce position. Meanstreak grabs a set of headphones.
Meanstreak: (to Miyagawa) Consider that a little present from me to you, boy-o. I wanted to make sure you didn't have any excuses later on tonight.
Ever the competitor, Miyagawa beckons Streak to come and do it now. PCW security rushes from the back.
Meanstreak: All in good time, all in good time.
Security hits the ring and forms a human shield between the two me.
The camera ever so briefly focuses back on the announce position, where Dave Kern, Jeff Marx and Steven Smith have tentatively reassumed their positions.
Dave: Ladies and gentleman, we are going to head to a commercial while order is restored. We'll be right back!
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by the X-Box, not to be confused with that piece of crap X-Pac)
Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil. We are ready to head to the ring for our next third round tourney match, so let's send it up to Clay Clayborne.
Clay Clayborne: The following match is a third round match in the PCW World Title Tournament! Making his way to the ring at this time, from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 205 pounds, he is the President of Primetime Championship Wrestling, Chet King the Chat King!
"Welcome Back My Friends" by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer starts to play as Chet King makes his way down the ramp, and rolls into the ring.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 245 pounds, Flaymin Aymin!
"Zero" from Smashing Pumpkins starts to play, but Flaymin Aymin doesn't appear. Suddenly, the Jumbotron flickers to life and shows Tyler Nelson directing the Media Assassins laying a beat down on Flaymin Aymin.
Dave: Media is just out of control! This is way over the line!
Jeff: Last time I checked , Nelson decides where the lines are drawn.
Dave: Problem is, there are two sets of lines!
Nelson picks Aymin up, and the Media Assassins, each wielding a kendo stick, nail Aymin on either side of the head with their sticks at the same time. The Media Assassins pick Aymin up, and start dragging him down the ramp, followed by Nelson.
The crowd explode into a rousing chorus of boos.
Dave: This is a bunch of crap.
The tag champs stop at the ring and slam Aymin's head down a couple of times on the ring apron before rolling Aymin into the ring. Nelson gets up on the apron and yells at the ref.
Nelson: Ring the damn bell or you're fired!
The ref calls for the bell, and the match begins. Chet picks Aymin up and drags him over to the corner. Chet hops up onto the top turnbuckle, his arm wrapped around Aymin's head. He leaps off and nails the Chatback! He covers and the ref counts 123!
Winner, and advancing to the fourth round of the tournament, Chet King the Chat King!
The crowd is tossing debris into the ring. Security rushes out to stop fans from hitting the ring.
Dave: What kind of crap is that? Media just robbed Flaymin Aymin. They should be thanking Flaymin Aymin because if he had injured all those people in a tractor accident, the purchase of PCW would have not have been possible.
Jeff: Well, that was coincidental. They own a loser like Aymin nothing.
Dave: While security gets things under control, we are going to head to a commercial. We'll be right back!)
(Commercial: PCW March Madness, this Sunday, live and only on Pay Per View. Call your local cable company or satellite provider to order today!)
Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil. We are getting ready to head to the ring for our next third round match. Let's send it up to Clay.
Clay Clayborne: The following match is a third round match in the PCW World Title tournament! Making his way to the ring at this time, from Las Cruces, New Mexico, weighing in at 227 pounds, the PCW Extreme Champion, Frisco!
"Dream a Little Dream of Me" from The Mamas and the Papas begins to play as Frisco makes his way down to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from Indianapolis, Indiana, weighing in at 250 pounds, Putter Mayhem!
Out of the giant arena speakers, the first few notes of Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" booms loudly, and as the drums kick in, Putter Mayhem, wearing orange goggles and wielding a pitching wedge (any random club, really) comes running down the runway. As the music continues to play, he jumps into the ring and runs around the inside of the ring a few times while swinging the golf club over his head. Then he stands in the middle of the ring and takes out a plastic golf ball. He sets the ball on the ground, and then he lines up a shot. He stands in the swinging position, yells "FOUR!", and hits the plastic ball into the crowd. Then he lays the golf club just outside the ring.
The ref calls for the bell, and PM starts laying into Frisco with right hands. Frisco ducks one, spins around behind PM, and delivers a side suplex. Frisco picks PM up and tries an Irish whip, but PM reverses it, clotheslining Frisco down on the way back. PM drops an elbow across Frisco's chest and covers 12 and Frisco easily kicks out. PM picks Frisco up, and brings a knee up into his gut, bending Frisco over before landing a DDT. PM heads to the top rope, and straightens out unsteadily on the top rope. He leaps off for a flying elbow drop, but Frisco rolls out of the way, and PM eats the mat hard. Frisco scoops him up in a half nelson cradle and the ref counts 12 and PM kicks out in the nick of time.
Dave: Frisco almost made quick work of Mayhem there.
Frisco picks PM up and delivers a snap suplex. He covers 12 and PM is able to get the shoulder up again.
Dave: Gotta admire Mayhem's toughness.
Jeff: No I don't.
Frisco picks PM up and slings him into the ropes, elevating him high into the air with a back body drop. Frisco drags PM into position and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He leaps off into a 630 swanton bomb, but PM is barely able to roll out of the way in time. Frisco rolls to his feet as PM pulls himself up using the corner. Frisco charges at PM, but PM meets him with a back elbow. Frisco turns around and staggers, clutching his face PM grabs him by the head and bulldogs him down. PM picks Frisco up and delivers a big brainbuster suplex. PM goes for the cover 12 and Frisco kicks out.
Jeff: That would have hurt if Frisco had a brain!
PM picks Frisco up and drags him over to the corner. He puts Frisco in a front headlock before climbing up facing the interior of the ring to the top turnbuckle. He's about to leap off with a tornado DDT, but Frisco starts landing big right hands into PM's gut. PM finally releases Frisco from the headlock as Frisco continues to pound him in the midsection. Frisco climbs up to the second turnbuckle, hooks PM's arm over his shoulder, and lands the Endorphin Rush!. Both men lie on the ground for a few moments, then Frisco rolls over and covers PM 12. NO! PM GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
Tommy Danger heads down to ringside.
Dave: What's he doing out here?
Jeff: I dunno.
Frisco slowly climbs to his feet, staggering back until he's leaning against the ropes. He shakes the cobwebs out as PM starts to get up on his hands and knees. Frisco sees PM trying to rise to his feet and nails him with a kick right in the ribs, flipping PM over onto his back. Frisco bounces off the ropes and drops a leg across PM's throat. He hooks a leg 12 and PM is barely able to get a shoulder up in time. Frisco picks PM up and starts to put him up across his shoulders for the Cerebro Asesino, but PM squirms behind him and lands a reverse DDT! Both men lay on the ground as the ref starts a ten count 12345PM climbs slowly to his feet 67 PM picks Frisco up. He slings Frisco into the ropes and nails a spinning heel kick. He picks Frisco up and slings him into the corner. He charges in and jumps up, planting a foot into Frisco's chest and grabbing his hands before falling backwards and sending Frisco flying over him with a monkey toss. He goes for the cover 12 and Frisco kicks out.
PM picks Frisco up and slings him into the corner, looking to land the Five Iron Frenzy, but Tommy Danger jumps to the apron and pushes Frisco out of the way, causing PM's elbow to slam into the top turnbuckle.
Jeff: (enraged) That's cheating!
Steven: It's not what you know
Jeff: (interrupting) SHUDDUP STEVEN!!!
PM spins around, clutching his funny bone. Frisco nails him in the back with a hard knee and immediately the F-Bomb! Frisco covers 123!
Winner, and advancing to the fourth round of the PCW World Title Tournament, Frisco!
The crowd erupts in approval of the wrestling display they just witnessed.
Dave: Listen to the crowd and rightfully so! Those guys put on one hell of a show! Too bad it had to end on a sour note.
Jeff: Yeah, but someone had to lose. Too bad it wasn't Frisco. Tommy Danger should be taken out back and shot.
Dave: (sighing) Nonetheless, Frisco will move on to face Chet King in the fourth round a little later on in our program. Ok, we are set to head to the ring for our last third round tourney match. The winner of this match will go onto to face Miyagawa in the fourth round.
Jeff: As if there is any doubt who will win this match. Joe Cross better have his hands held wide open.
Dave: Why?
Jeff: Cause he is about to have his ass handed to him!
Steven giggles.
Steven: Well
Dave and Jeff: (simultaneously) SHUT UP STEVEN!
Dave: Let's head to the ring!
("The Way I Am" by Eminem hits as Rachel Stevens accompanies Joe Cross to the ring)
Clay: The following is a 3rd round matchup in the 64 man World title tournament. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Rachel Stevens, from Manhattan, New York, at a weight of 256 pounds......."SMOKIN'" JOE CROSS
("Supernova Goes Pop" by Powerman 5000 hits as the Monster they call Meanstreak emerges)
Clay: His opponent, at a weight of 345 pounds.......MEANSTREAK
SJC jumps all over Streak as he climbs into the ring. SJC hitting Streak with multiple forearms and punches backing him up into the ropes. SJC goes to whip Streak but Streak reverses. SJC bounces off the ropes and ducks a clothesline attempt by Streak. He then bounces off the ropes again and dives at the knee of Streak, causing a little damage to him. SJC gets up from the dive and kicks at the legs of Streak until he falls down to the mat. SJC covers the big man, 1......2....Streak kicks out with authority. SJC gets to his feet and looks down at Streak who is slowly getting up after all the leg shots. Once Streak is up, SJC winds his foot back and kicks him right between the legs. Streak winces in pain and doubles over. SJC gets an arrogant grin on his face as Rachel Stevens claps on the outside. SJC is walking up to Streak to do something, but once he gets right in front of him, Streak throws his body up, pounds on his chest, and roars as we've seen him do many, many times. SJC's face turns to a pale white for a moment.
Jeff: I hope Smokin' Joe was able to get a discount on his tombstone cause the monster's gonna kill him.
SJC tries fighting Streak by punching away at his head, but all he's doing is pissing the monster off. Streak roars again at SJC, then grabs him by his throat and throws him into the corner. Streak starts laying into SJC with one stiff right hand after another. Pretty soon, a gash opens up above the left eye of SJC due to all the stiff punches from Streak. SJC is down and beaten to a pulp in the corner. Streak gets an evil grin on his face, then lifts SJC to his feet. Streak gets SJC into position for At Death's Door as Rachel hops onto the apron. Streak walks over to her, still holding SJC, only to get slapped. Streak's head jerks to the side due to the force of the slap, but he quickly looks at her and smiles. She has a look of fright on her face. before Streak can do anything to her as well, she hops off the apron. All this time, Streak still has SJC held in the air. Streak points down at Rachel, then delivers AT DEATH'S DOOR onto the poor rising star. Streak makes a cover, 1.......2.......3
WINNER: Meanstreak Time: 1:27
Jeff: I blinked.what did I miss?
Dave: (gritting his teeth, ignoring Jeff) So the two-time former World Champion Meanstreak makes quick work of "Smokin'" Joe Cross and moves on to face Miyagawa in the fourth round!
Jeff: I believe the over-under was a 1:30. You two each owe me 20 bucks!
Dave: (sighing) We need to head to a commercial break. When we return, we will head to the ring for our fourth round tourney action. We'll be right back.
(Commercial: Get your PCW Kermit D. Frog, Five Star Frog Splash T-shirt for only $8.95 from PCW mail order. Call 1-800-PCW-FROG now to order! Operators are standing by!)
["Why Don't You Do the Job (SDMJK Remix)" by The Offspring hits the PA.]
Dave: That's the Super Duper Masked Jobber King's music. Looks like we are ready to go.
Jeff: Oh great. We get to be joined by Kid Wonder in a mask. At least he gets to beat the crap out of that DAMN prick.
Dave: Should you really be saying that about your mother's lover?
[A scuffle between Jeff and Dave starts at the announce table as the Super Duper Masked Jobber King, along with one of the participants in the T&A Brawl, SDMJQ, emerge from the back and slowly walk to the ring. The fans are giving SDMJK a mixed reaction as the man in the golden mask enters the ring followed by his lady. SDMJK walks up to Clay Clayborne, who just happens to be standing there, and grabs the mic from him. The crowd quiets down some as SDMJK prepares to speak.]
SDMJK: I've noticed something over the last week or two. It seems that, everywhere I go, everyone thinks that I'm Kid Wonder. Jeff Marx keeps saying I'm him. Cal Seaver keeps thinking I'm him. The new bosses all think that I'm him. This extremely fat guy wearing a "DAMN" shirt probably thinks that I'm him too.
Jeff: And we shouldn't believe that it's Kid Wonder because........
SDMJK: And, during all this talk, it just so happens that my next opponent is none other than Doug Troy.
[Huge pop from the crowd as SDMJK mentions their DAMN hero's name.]
SDMJK: I know how much you all love him.......
Jeff: I don't love him!
Steven: I sure do, teehee
Dave: And so does your mom, Jeff.
[More scuffling between Jeff and Dave at the table]
SDMJK: ......And after enough thinking, I came to the conclusion that this is all just a trick. You all are trying to convince me that I'm Kid Wonder to throw me off my game. I mean, that's the only way Doug's gonna get out of doing his JOB tonight.
Jeff: NO! Doug can't get out of doing his JOB tonight!
SDMJK: But I won't let you guys get the best of me. Instead, since you all INSIST that I'm Kid Wonder, I'm gonna play along for a minute. I'm gonna pretend that I'm Kid Wonder. Let me take you all the way back to October 22nd. All the way back to the first pay-per-view in PCW history, PCW Dawning.
[The Jumbotron shows a clip from the main event at Dawning.
DT is still down coughing up blood. Kremmen goes back and picks him up puts him up into AT DEATH's DOOR. Just as it happened on Friday night, DT wriggles free and hits Meanstreak with THE TAKE. DT goes for the cover1.2.The pinning attempt is broken up a sudden leg drop to the back of DT's head. The camera pans away to reveal that The Super Duper Masked Jobber King as the culprit. He begins laying the boots to DT. Meanstreak shakes off the cobwebs and the SDMJK points that DT is layed out. Meanstreak makes the cover..1..2.3..!!! DOUG TROY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!! DT comes to his senses and the SDMJK leans over him and peels over his mask..DT's eyes grow wide.
Mark Malloy: The Super Duper Masked Jobber King has just cost DT his chance at the PCW World Heavyweight Championship AND revealed himself as international talent Kid Wonder!
The jumbotron cuts off and we cut back to the ring.]
SDMJK: You see that!? Kid Wonder came off the top rope and nailed Doug Troy firmly in the back of ther head. Just as Doug Troy has Meanstreak of all people beat, Kid Wonder stopped him. I know he was wearing that little thing right there....[pointing to SDMJQ's outfit].....but that doesn't mean a thing. I mean, "Genetic Jackass" has also worn that in an attempt to make something of himself, but failed miserably. But, as the clip saw, Kid Wonder cost Doug Troy his chance at becoming the first World champion with one simple move. That's not all though. Let's go ahead a month. Let's skip ahead to Thanksgiving weekend. PCW Alliances, November the 26th, let's watch the tape.
[The Jumbotron now shows a clip from the ladder match at PCW Alliances.
Naket falls from the top of the ladder crashing down to the mat. Wonder stands on the top of the ladder with in arm's reach of the contract. He looks at the contact and looks down at the helpless Naket. Adhering to the chants of "PCW" Wonder leaps from the top of the ladder. SO WONDERFUL OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!!! everyone is out in the ring it looks like a plane wreck. Doug troy lines the ladder up directly under the contract and begins to go up the ladder toward the contract. Kid Wonder scampers to his feet and goes up the ladder. He meets DT at the top. Both men are just a few feet from the contract. They begin trading shot back and forth. Wonder pokes DT in the eye. DT grasps at his eye. Wonder grabs the back of DT's head and smashes it off the top of the ladder. DT falls back in a daze. His commotion causes the ladder to tip. As the ladder is keeling over Kid Wonder leaps from the ladder and locks onto the cable holding the contract. Kid Wonder begins slipping from the cable. He grabs the contract and raises it high in the air. He then suddenly drops from high above the ring and crashing down to the mat.
Jumbotron cuts off. We cut back to the ring.]
SDMJK: Kid Wonder grabbed the contract at the top of the ladder and made Shazbot the OFFICIAL soft drink of PCW. That had to of been the greatest moment in PCW history. Even greater than when Britney Spears was kidnapped and had her head shaved. But the fact that Kid Wonder grabbed that contract is only half the story. You see who he threw off the ladder in order to get the contract? It was Doug Troy again. In the only singles match these two have ever been in together, Kid Wonder threw Doug Troy off the ladder and beat him, some Canadian buffoon, and a fired homo.
Steven: "The Mack" has "it" baby.
SDMJK: That still ain't the end of it though. Let's shift ahead just a couple days later. November 28th. Let's watch the tape.
[Jumbotron shows a clip from the match between Preacher and Doug Troy the Turmoil after Alliances.
Preacher and DT, once up, start to trade punches. DT starts to get the edge. He punches and kicks at Preacher. Preacher tries to stop DT's momentum with a roundhouse punch but DT ducks it. He then grabs Preacher and hits him with The Take again. Now the ref starts to show some movement, but remains down. Out from the crowd now comes Kid Wonder. DT covers Preacher but there is no ref to count. Wonder goes up to the top rope, then flies off and hits DT with So Wonderful. Both Preacher and DT are laid out. Wonder grabs Preacher and rolls him on top of DT. He then slides out of the ring as the ref sees the cover and gets into position. He holds the back of his neck as he makes the count, 1..............2...............3!
Jumbotron cuts off once again.]
SDMJK: Kid Wonder laid out Doug Troy YET AGAIN allowing him to do a JOB to Preacher that nobody would ever forget.
Jeff: HAHA! That's right! Doug Troy lost to Preacher.
SDMJK: So Doug, the evidence itself is pretty clear. If I'm Kid Wonder like everyone SAYS I am, I own your DAMN ass. Not one, not two, but on THREE seperate ocassions did Kid Wonder cost you what you wanted most. Twice it was the World title. Once it was your job with Coca-Cola. But, Doug, right now the only JOB you'll be doing is in this ring later on. Seeing as how everyone says I'm Kid Wonder, I'm gonna make tonight #4. Doug, tonight, you're road to March Madness ends while mine just starts to heat up. Doug, tonight you've got a DAMN JOB to do and I'm gonna be there to make sure you do it.
Now get your DAMN self out here!
SDMJK drops the mic and hops up on the turnbuckle awaiting the entry of Doug Troy.
Clay Clayborne: The winner of the following match advances to the Final Four of the PCW World Title Tournament! In the ring at this time, being accompanied by Super Duper Masked Jobber Queen, from Orlando, Florida, weighing in at 169 pounds, Super Duper Masked Jobber King!
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from Omaha, Nebraska, weighing in at 230 pounds, Doug Troy!
"Brainless" from The Urge plays as Doug Troy makes his way to the ring.
DT enters the ring and points over at SDMJK and laughs.
The bell rings and DT's jovial expression changes quickly, as charges at SDMJK, who catches him with a deep arm drag. DT rolls to his feet as SDMJK tries for a drop kick, but DT swats his legs away, then dropping an elbow on SDMJK's fallen form. DT wraps SDMJK up in a la magistral cradle and the ref counts 12 and SDMJK gets the shoulder up. Both men rise to their feet and start trading punches back and forth, neither man getting an advantage. Finally, SDMJK kicks DT in the gut bending him over. SDMJK drapes a leg over the back of DT's neck for a rocker dropper, but DT straightens up. SDMJK does a backflip, landing beside DT. He wraps his arms around DT's waist and delivers a side suplex. SDMJK runs and jumps up to the second turnbuckle, then flies off with a moonsault, landing squarely on DT. He hooks a leg 12 and DT kicks out. SDMJK picks DT up and tries an Irish whip, but DT reverses it, nailing SDMJK with a clothesline on the way back. DT picks SDMJK up, kicks him in the gut bending him over, and bounces off the ropes, nailing SDMJK with a swinging neckbreaker. DT covers 12 and SDMJK kicks out.
Dave: We have had several near pin falls in the early going here tonight.
Jeff: I doubt these guys can keep up this pace. Well, I know that sissy Doug Troy can't.
Steven: (giggling) Your mom tell you that.
There is the sounds of headphones being dropped, followed by a scuffle.
Meanwhile, back in the ring DT picks SDMJK up and slings him into a corner. He picks SDMJK up and places him on the top turnbuckle. DT starts to climb up afterwards, but SDMJK rakes him in the eyes, and DT drops back to the mat, staggering back and clutching at his face. SDMJK leaps off the top turnbuckle and nails DT in the back with a missile dropkick.
Suddenly, Dan Hollywood starts to walk down the ramp, smiling.
Dave: Oh, jeez, what is he doing out here?
He gets to the ring and climbs up on the apron as SDMJK is stomping away at DT on the mat. Fallen suddenly sprints down the ramp and yanks on Hollywood's feet, dropping him to the floor. He slams Hollywood's face into the apron.
Dave: Fallen is a weirdo, but he did the right thing there!
In the ring, SDMJK picks up DT and delivers a snap suplex. He covers 12 and DT kicks out.
Back outside, Fallen tries to sling Hollywood, but Hollywood reverses and slams Fallen's back into the guardrail. He goes for a clothesline, and both men spill over into the crowd.
Back in the ring, SDMJK picks DT up and slings him into the corner. He hoists DT up onto the top turnbuckle and climbs up after him. He jumps up and delivers a huricanranna.
Back out into the crowd, Hollywood is staggering back as Fallen lays in punch after punch. Security is too hard pressed keeping the crowd back to separate the two combatants. They continue to fight their way backstage.
Back in the ring, SDMJK crawls over and covers DT. 12NO! DT BARELY GETS THE SHOULDER UP IN TIME! SDMJK gets to his feet and gets in the ref's face, complaining about a slow count. Finally, he decides to climb to the top turnbuckle. He holds out his arms and leaps off for Finishing the Job, but DT rolls out of the way. The Ref gets clipped by SDMJK on the way by and goes down. Both SDMJK and DT are down.
Suddenly a chorus of boos runs through the crowd as Bethany and Clyde emerge from the tunnel. Bethany tells the crowd they should all die, while Clyde sprints to the ring.
Jeff: YES!!!! DA MAN is HERE!!
DT stumbles to his feet and is immediately nailed with the INFERNO by Clyde. Clyde rolls out of the ring.
Jeff: YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Meanwhile, the SDMJQ and Bethany are scratching and slapping at each other in the aisle.
The ref begins to stir. Guy Leslie charges out of the back.
SDMJK rolls over and covers DT.1..2.Guy Leslie hit the ring and tries to break the cover.TOO LATE.3!!!!!
Winner, and advancing to the Final Four: Super Duper Masked Jobber King
Dave: The Super Duper Masked Jobber King has won and advanced to the Final Four at Madness!
Jeff: And CLYDE, DA MAN the man made it all possible!!!
Dave: Indeed Clyde did gain a measure of revenge by defeating Doug Troy, who eliminated him from the tournament.
Jeff: Might is right baby!
Dave: What does that have to do with anything?
Jeff: Nothing, just felt like saying it!
Dave: (mumbling) Moron. (normal) OK, we are going to head to the ring for our next match of the evening featuring Trashcan Man taking on Kremmen.
Jeff: Trashcan Man is well rested from his third round bye thanks to Scott "Shouldabeenkilledwhen" Born, so I would find it hard pick against him this match.
Dave: Kremmen is a former World Champion and a Hall of Famer. If anyone knows how to dig deep to score a victory, it is Kremmen. Let's head to the ring.
----------------------------
("Carima Burana-O'Fortuna" by Orff starts to play as the Hall of Famer, Kremmen, comes out. But, for some odd reason, Kremmey comes out dressed as a garbage man and is carrying a trashcan.)
Dave: Kremmen has a trash can in his hand.
Jeff: What the hell is he doing?
Steven: I don't know, but I'm sure glad he doesn't have that Britney girl around.
Clay: The following is a 4th round match in the 64 man World title tournament with the winner advancing to the Final Four March Madness. Introducing first, from Melbourne, Australia, at a weight of 250 pounds.......KREMMEN
("While the City Sleeps" by MC 900 Ft Jesus plays as Trashy comes out with trash can.)
Clay: His opponent, at a weight of 275 pounds.......TRASHCAN MAN
The two men circle eachother in the center of the ring. Kremmen lunges at TCM, but TCM backs away. They circle eachoher a little more. This time, TCM lunges at Kremmen but Kremmen backs away. The two men circle each other a little more..
Jeff: BORING!
Dave: Nothing happening so far
After enough circling, the two men lock up. They are about even; neither man getting an advantage. After enough grappling, the two men break and just stare at eachother. A bit of a "Boring" chant starts up amongst the sheep in crowd. After a bit of staring, the two men go to lock up but TCM kicks Kremmen, then starts hammering away at him. TCM whips Kremmen into the ropes and takes him down with a clothesline. TCM drops an elbow, then makes a cover, 12.Kremmen kicks out. TCM pulls Kremmen up and whips him into the corner. TCM charges in and hits Kremmen with a big splash. As Kremmen slowly staggers out, TCM grabs him and goes to whip him but Kremmen counters with a short arm clothesline. When Kremmen goes for it, TCM ducks and Kremmen hits referee Bob Charlie who "just happened" to be standing there.
Jeff: That's got to be the earliest ref bump in history.
Steven: Maybe I should go help him
Jeff: Anything to get you away from me
Kremmen, for once, seems to care about the referee. He's seeing if the ref I alright. Something a face like TCM might do. While Kremmen checks the ref, TCM walks over and grabs Kremmen's trash can. He then grabs his own trashcan and puts it inside Kremmen's making it 2 trashcans put together. He slowly comes up to Kremmen as Kremmen is turning around. Once Kremmen turns around, TCM clocks him with both cans. Kremmen goes down but quickly gets back up and smiles at TCM. He tells TCM to hit him again. When TCM lifts the can up to do so, Kremmen kicks it in his face. As TCM is staggering back, dropping the cans, Kremmen grabs him and hits him with a fallaway slam. Kremmen makes a cover but the ref still ain't up. Kremmen gets off of TCM and goes to the ref to get him up.
Once the ref starts to get him up, TCM has also gotten up. Kremmen turns around only to be kicked in the gut by TCM. Kremmen doubles over, but fights through pain and surges in and up, lifting up the 275lb TCM onto his shoulders. With one fluid motion, Kremmen rotates the former Sanitation Worker in Denial of his Former Occupation and deposits him to the canvas courtesy of X-Kremment.
Dave: WHAT A MOVE!!!
Jeff: That is why he is a former World Champion!
The ref comes over and makes the cover.1.23!!!
WINNER and advancing to March Madness: Kremmen
Dave: So Kremmen moves on to the Final Four at Madness!!!
Jeff: Well, since Clyde can't be there, Kremmen is almost as good in my book.
Dave: You own books?
Jeff: (off guard) I'll give you that one.
Dave: Give it to me? Hah! I just took it. We need to head to a commercial! We will be right back.
(Commercial : PCW is brought to you by Mr. Potatohead)
The program reopens showing former Primetime Indy Circuit World Champion sitting at ringside signing autographs.
Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil. There was a look at former PIC worker Nate Dumas, doing a good thing for the young fans.
Jeff: Too bad he doesn't have a job!
Dave: (sighing) We are ready to head to the ring to determine who the third member of the final four this Sunday ay Madness. Let's send it up to Clay!
Clay Clayborne: The winner of the following match advances to the Final Four in the PCW World Title tournament. Making his way to the ring at this time, from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 205 pounds, he is the President of Primetime Championship Wrestling, Chet King the Chat King!
"Welcome Back My Friends" starts to play as Chet King makes his way to the ring to a round of boos.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from Las Cruces, New Mexico, weighing in at 227 pounds, he is the PCW Extreme champion, Frisco!
"Dream a Little Dream of Me" from The Mamas and the Papas starts to play as Frisco makes his way to the ring.
The ref is about to call for the bell when "Californication" by Red Hot Chili Peppers starts to play over the arena speakers. Dan Hollywood appears at the entranceway, mic in hand to a chorus of boos.
Dan Hollywood: Hello all, it is I, your Commissioner, Dan Hollywood!
Dave: (snottily, mumbling) and as you can see, he frigging rules!
Jeff: Shhhhhhhhh!
DH: (continuing) And I've came out here to make a little change in the match. You see, lately DAMN has been putting their noses where they don't belong, so I've decided to make sure they don't interfere. You see, this match is going to be a lumberjack match. Allow me to bring out the lumberjacks who will be guarding the ring.
"Welcome Back My Friends" by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer starts to play as Tyler Nelson, Kano, the Media Assassins, and Chef appear behind Hollywood. As a group they walk down the ring as the fans throw various pieces of refuse at them. They surround the ring as the ref calls for the bell.
Dave: I've seen smaller loads of crap at sewage treatment plants.
Jeff: Anytime something is bad for a member of DAMN, I am all for it!
CK starts to throw right hands at Frisco, staggering him back into the corner. Frisco suddenly explodes out of the corner, leveling CK with a clothesline. He picks CK up and suplexes him over. He bounces off the ropes, but HAC grabs his ankle, spilling him to the mat. HAC then pulls Frisco out and the Media Assassins start pounding away at Frisco. HCA grabs Frisco and holds him as HAC grabs a chair. HAC swings, but Frisco ducks and HCA takes the chair shot instead. Frisco kicks HAC in the gut and DDT's him down to the floor. Frisco rolls back into the ring as the rest of the Media converge on him, and CK is there stomping away at him. CK slings Frisco into the ropes and nails him with a drop kick. CK covers 1...2... and Frisco kicks out. CK picks Frisco up and goes for an Iris whip, but Frisco reverses it, and he flips CK over with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Frisco goes for the cover 12 and Hollywood reaches in and pulls Frisco out.
Dave: This is a load of crap!
Hollywood pounds away at Frisco, and Nelson and Chef come over and help him. Chef and Nelson pick Frisco up over their heads and drop him throat first across a guardrail. They roll him back into the ring and CK quickly goes for the cover 12 and Frisco kicks out. CK picks Frisco up, but Frisco immediately starts nailing CK with right hands, staggering CK back. He slings CK into the ropes and picks him up in a gorilla press before landing the Alesicoaster!
Dave; This could be it!
Nelson jumps up on the ring apron and starts arguing with the ref.
Dave: Get off the apron you ninny!
Jeff: Did you just say ninny?
Dave: Yes, why?
Jeff: Assclown is more appropriate, that's all.
Frisco is covering CK, but the ref is being distracted. Frisco gets up and starts to walk over to the ref and Nelson, but Chef rolls into the ring, turns Frisco around, and nails him with the Filet Mignon! He pulls CK on top of Frisco and rolls back out of the ring. Nelson finally drops down to the floor and the ref turns around to see the cover 12 NO! FRISCO KICKS OUT!
Suddenly, Doug Troy and Guy Leslie run out from the back and down to the ring, Troy with a Singapore cane and Leslie with his shovel.
The crowd pops!
Dave: Here comes the cavalry!
They start laying into Media, nailing them except for Nelson, who retreats around to the other side of the ring, near former PIC World Champion Nate Dumas. Dumas gets up, folds his chair up and proceeds to waffle the unsuspecting CEO in the back of the melon with it.
The crowd roars its approval.
Dave : OH MY GOD!!! Nate Dumas just smashed the CEO in the skull with a steel chair!!!
The rest of Media regroups at the foot of the ramp and start backing off as Troy and Leslie slowly advances on them. Finally, they back all the way backstage as Troy and Leslie follow.
Security floods the ringside area and drags Dumas from the arena.
Back in the ring, CK picks Frisco up and slings him into the ropes. He brings him face first to the mat with a drop toe hold, and locks on an STF. The ref checks with Frisco, who slowly crawls to the ropes, using his arms to pull himself along. CK cranks back with the pressure, but Frisco doesn't submit. Finally, Frisco reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. CK doesn't release the hold, and the ref starts a five count 1234 and at the last moment, CK lets go. CK gets up, frustration clearly written across his face. He slings Frisco into the corner and starts laying in boots to Frisco's ribs. He drags Frisco out of the corner and holds him by the hair. CK starts to climb up to the top rope, still holding onto Frisco. He wraps his arm around Frisco's head from behind, but Frisco reaches behind him, wrapping his arms around CK and flips him over onto the mat. Both men lie motionless on the ground and the ref starts a ten count 1234 CK starts to climb to his feet 56 Frisco begins to stir and slowly begins to climb to his feet 7 CK is all the way up now, leaning in the corner as Frisco falls back down 89 Frisco is barely able to drag himself up as CK jumps up and down in frustration. CK charges at Frisco with a clothesline, but Frisco ducks it and lands the F-BOMB! Frisco covers 123!
Winner, and advancing to the Final Four: Frisco!
The crowd explodes!
Jeff: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Dave: FRISCO HAS DONE IT!!! FRISCO IS IN THE FINAL FOUR!!!
Jeff: (furious) Damn it! Where is Stewart Hix when you need him?!!?
Dave: We here at PCW do not condone the use or sale of illegal drugs.
Jeff: I didn't mean I needed Hix to score a little weed. I wish Hix was hear so he could continue his utter mastery of Frisco. Hix was the one who sent Frisco into his brief retirement ya know.
Dave: Why we even discussing Hix? Hix is old news!
Jeff: Well, he is leading the Hall of Fame run off against Chuck Manson!
Dave: He's old new, don't bring him up again! We need to head to a commercial! When we return, we will head to the ring for our Tampex Main Event of the evening! We will be right back.
(Commercial: Tampex: The quicker picker upper)
Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil. Well, the Super Duper Masked Jobber King, Frisco and Kremmen are in.now to find out who the fourth will be. Let's head to the ring!
("Supernova Goes Pop" by Powerman 5000 hits as Streak comes out)
Clay: The following is a 4th round matchup in the 64 man World title tournament with the winner advancing to March Madness. Introducing first, at a weight of 318pounds.......MEANSTREAK
("One Step Closer" by Linkin Park hits as Miyagawa runs out)
Clay: His opponent, from Anaheim, California, at a weight of 210 pounds.......MIYAGAWA
Miya slides into the ring and is quickly up. Streak tries hitting a lariat on Miya, but Miya ducks it, bounces off the ropes, and hits a flying clothesline that wobbles the big man. Miya starts punching away at the big man as he's still wobbling a bit. As Streak backs into the ropes, Miya hits a big dropkick, one that would make the Holly family proud, sending Streak through the ropes and out of the ring. Miya goes out after Streak as he's quick to his feet out there.
Kremmen begins to stroll out of the back, blatantly brandashing an electric cattle prod.
Dave: There's the cattle prod Kremmen used to become the first ever PCW World Champion. Security better put a stop to this! We all know about his bitter rivalry with Meanstreak.
Miya hammers on Streak some but his weak punches have no effect on the monster. Streak just stares Miya in the eyes, grabs him by his throat, and slams his back into the ringpost. Streak does it again and again and again until referee Speedy Riggs makes him stop. Streak drops the former crusierweight champion and stares at Riggs. Streak then climbs back into the ring, pounds his chest, and roars as Miya struggles to get up outside the ring. As Miya climbs onto the apron, Streak grabs Miya by his hair and yanks him over the top rope and back into the ring. Streak easily lifts Miya up, hoists him onto his shoulder, and goes to ram his head into the turnbuckle but Miya slides off of Streak and pushes him into the turnbuckle. Miya then rolls Streak up from behind and grabs the tights to get any advantage he can, 1...2..Streak kicks out.
Both men are quick to their feet. Streak charges at Miya but Miya ducks him. When Streak turns around, Miya hits him with a stiff sidekick to the chest. The kick causes Streak to bend over just enough for Miya to grab him and hit him with a DDT. Miya covers, 1..2.Streak kicks out. Miya pulls Streak up and tries to send him into the ropes, but Streak reverses. Miya bounces off the ropes and Streak kicks him in the gut. Streak then lifts him high in the air for vertical suplex but Miya wiggles out of it. He gets behind Streak, grabs him, and locks on THERAPY!!!
Jeff: OH MY GOD!!
Jeff: Miyagawa has Therapy locked on Streak. This could be the biggest upset in PCWEVER!
The Super Duper Masked Jobber King begins walking to ringside.
Dave: Looks like SDMJK is coming out to do a little scouting.
Jeff: How the hell do you scout Meanstreak? Look for a tell in his roar and chest banging sequences?
Miyagawa has it locked on tight as it looks as if Streak is starting to fade. The big man won't give up though. Miya has the hold locked on tight and Streak goes down o one knee.
Dave: This is it. The crazy, little man is gonna beat the unbeatable monster.
Right after Dave says that, Streak gets grin on his face. Streak then slowly rises back to his feet as Miya locks the hold on even tighter. Streak gets up, pounds his chest, then lets out a mighty roar. With Miya still having his submission hold locked on, Streak lifts Miya off of the ground. He then gets the little man in position and drops him with AT DEATH'S DOOR!!!
Jeff: (mockingly imitating Dave) This is it. The crazy, little man is gonn beat the unbeatable monster! (no longer imitating Dave) Jackass.
Frisco comes sprinting out of the back.
Dave: Here comes Frisco!!!
Jeff: Who cares!
Streak is still shaking off the effects Therapy but has the presence of mind to cover Miya, 12.3
WINNER and advancing to March Madness: Meanstreak
Dave: Meanstreak is in the FINAL FOUR!!! The table is set now it's time to bring on the meat!!
Steven: Yeah the MEAT!
Jeff: Both of you SHUT UP AND LOOK!!!
Meanstreak staggers back to his feet as Kremmen slides under the ropes and jabs the still groggy Monster they call Meanstreak with the cattle prod.
ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!
Meanstreak convulses and goes down. Kremmen stands over the twitching monster jawing at him, so he fails to not notice that the Super Duper Masked Jobber King has ascended to the top rope.
Dave: Here we go!!!
SDMJK leaps from the ropes and cages Kremmen in a flying head scissors take down. Kremmen lose his grip on the cattle prod upon impact and it scatters from the ring. SDMJK landed awkwardly and is still down, which is highly unfortunate for him, as Frisco leaps from the floor and grabs to top rope, then springs to the top rope and immediately into a springboard swanton bomb onto Kid Wonder.
Dave: OH MY GOD!!!!
The crowd pops!
The Crowd: PCW!!!! PCW!!!! PCW!!!! PCW!!!! PCW!!!!
Suddenly, the chants turn into boos as three dozen PCW/Media security members rush out of the back and flood the ring, separating the four combatants.
The crowd begins throwing garbage and foreign objects into the ring.
The Crowd: LET THEM GO!!! LET THEM GO!!! LET THEM GO!!!!
Dave: We are out of time! The lines have been drawn, the gauntlets been dropped and the mothers insulted ladies and gentleman. This Sunday at March Madness, The Super Duper Masked Jobber King, Frisco, Meanstreak and Kremmen will go at it in a round robin, double elimination tournament with the winner being crowned the PCW World Heavyweight Champion.I am Dave Kern
Suddenly, the "Welcome Back My Friends" from Emerson, Lake and Palmer hits the PA system.
Dave: WHOA!!!! What now!
The scene shifts to the entranceway of the arena as Media's rarely seen, mysterious, sunglass wearing, black beret donning Executive Producer makes his way out of the back along with his towering, shaven headed body guard known only as Key Grip.
Jeff: It's the Executive Producer!
The crowd immediately reacts in an unfavorable fashion.
The Crowd: A$$HOLE!!!! A$$HOLE!!! A$$HOLE!!!
The Executive Producer looks out from over his glasses and surveys the crowd. He then holds out his hand and Key Grip produces a microphone.
The Executive Producer mills around the stage for a moment stalling for he derogatory chants to end, but they just get louder. Finally he raises the microphone and begins to speak.
The Executive Producer: That's fine, boo me if you like. It won't help a bunch of potato picking, potato eating and potato humping farmers see these fellows go at it in the ring tonight. No, that action will be reserved for real cities, like San Diego.
The Moscow, Idaho crowd boos.
The Executive Producer: (continuing) .and LAS VEGAS!!!
Dave: WHOA!!! WE ARE IN LAS VEGAS THIS FRIDAY!!! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!?
The camera scans the ring where the four combatants for Sunday, though separated by security, are looking on intently at the Executive Producer.
Executive Producer: That's right. Frisco, SDMJK, Kremmen and Meanstreak. Since you fellas seem to have so much energy and you don't need any rest before this Sunday and your matches at Madness, this is what I am gonna do.to help you spend some of that nervous energy.
This Friday, on Fusion from Las Vegas, Nevada.A real city that understands entertainment
The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos.
Executive Producer: (continuing) You four men will step into the ring, in a very special tag team match.
Dave: WHAT?!?! A TAG TEAM CONTEST!!
The camera shifts into the ring where all four men are shown with angry looks on their faces at the mention of a tag team match.
Executive Producer: This Friday, The Super Duper Masked Jobber King and Frisco, will take on Meanstreak and Kremmen in a no DQ, falls count anywhere match.Now that my friends, IS ENERTAINMENT!!!
"Welcome back my friends" hits the PA system again as the Executive Producer tosses the microphone down and stares up at the Final Four in the ring.
Dave: WHOAA!!!! We are out of time!! We will see you in two days times from Las Vegas, Nevada! Good night everyone
The scene shifts to the ring where the Final Four are looking at each other and the Executive Producer with looks of rage and disbelief on their faces. The scene shifts back to the Executive Producer, he calmly stares back at the four PCW superstars with an evil smirk on his face, as the show fades to black.