Tuesday Turmoil for March 20th, 2001

Live from the University of Delaware Gymnasium, in Newark Delaware

The show opens in the back parking lot of the University of Delaware Gymnasium to as Media's infamous black Hummer limousine comes to a slow halt at the back door on a dark and stormy evening in Newark Delaware.

Cal Seaver hops out of the front in his standard chauffer gear: black suit, black shoes, black hat, and latex rubber gloves. He opens an umbrella, then quickly steps to the back of the vehicle and opens the rear door. Out from the limo step two gentlemen that we have never seen before. One is a middle-aged gentleman, slightly grayed hair and a mustache of the same color. The other is a younger man, probably late twenties or early thirties, with brown hair and cleanly shaven face. They are both very well dressed in Armani type suits. Cal hands each man an umbrella to shield them from the driving rain.

As two men begin to walk towards the entrance when a voice is heard from off camera.

Voice: Welcome, gentlemen! I trust your flight was good.

The camera turns to see that the voice belongs to none other than the CEO of PCW Tyler Nelson. He walks towards the men, in a dark blue Armani suit, with his arm extended. He shakes both of their hands with an almost devious looking smile on his face.

Older Man: Yes, the flight was very nice. Your private jet is magnificent.

Tyler: Good to hear. And the hotel?

Younger Man: The suite is immacculate. Every ammenity has been provided for us. These suits are great, too. Thank you.

Tyler smiles and gets in between the two men, placing an arm around each of their shoulders. He begins to walk them into the building.

Tyler: Hey, it's the least I could do for my favorite network execs. Let's head in now, we're about to get started. Simmons....door!

On command Mr. Simmons pulls the door open for the three men. They enter the building and Simmons follows, allowing the door to shut behind them, as the scene fades to black.

The usual opening for Tuesday Turmoil depicting PCW wresters in action upon a backdrop on a ruined and burning city begins to role.  Wrestlers highlighted are Da Westsidaz, Brock Newbludd, Two Ton, Slade and Miyagawa.

The show fades into the inside of the gymnasium at the University of Delaware as pyros shoot off from the ceiling, ring posts and entryway and "Big Time" from Peter Gabriel hits the PA system.

The cameras begin zooming around the arena sampling the rabid PCW fans in attendance.  The first stop for our roving camera is on a striking blonde haired co-ed dressed in a Blue Hens cheerleading outfit.  She is holding up a sign which reads "I wanna be schooled by the Graduate."

The second stop for the camera is on a group of fraternity boys holding up a sign which reads "K-Rock rocks, but not as much as Kano!"

Finally the camera stops on the same little old lady that has been seen at each of the past several PCW events.  As usual, she is completing ignoring all the chaos around her as simply sits in her chair, knitting a green sweater.

Finally the scene shifts to the announce table where PCW announce team is waiting to call the action.

Dave Kern:  Hello everyone and welcome to the UK-L187 debut of PCW Turmoil!  I am Dave Kern and I am joined at my ringside announce position by the "Banditos of Broadcast"  Jeff Marx and Steven Smith.  We are coming to you live from the jam packed George Thurogood Gymnasium on the campus of the University of Delaware and what a card we have for you tonight. Not only will we have a 10 man street fight between members of the Media and Asylum factions, but main event pitting Mike Marvelous vs The Monster they call Meanstreak.

Jeff:  Perhaps most importantly, Kurt Ragnarok will come to the ring and formally ink his PCW contract tonight, finally giving PCW another marketable talent to go along with DA MAN, Clyde.

Dave:  (dismissive) A number of experts are predicting your new golden boy will wash out of PCW like other big name Fed Wars free agents such as Shawn Cage the members of the Franchise have before him.

Steven:  The only thing Shawn Cage has been washing out as of late are toilet bowls.

Jeff:  (excitedly)  Awe man, lucky him, because I dropped a doozy in the toilet that doesn't flush this morning

There is dead air for 1.2345 seconds.

Dave:  (sighing)  You know, people wonder why it took so long to be signed to a national

Dave's words are interrupted as "Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison hits the PA system.  The crowd immediately reacts in a negative manner.

Dave:  (disgusted) Now what does he want?

The crowd erupts into boos as "the Mack" Ed Novak and Mini-Mack, his British midget

look-alike, strut down the ramp and enter the ring, skipping his usual dance segment.

Steven: (disappointed) AweNo dancing?

Jeff:  There is a God!

Dave:  I can't believe he's got a vertically challenged manager.

Jeff:  PCW is well known for being an equal opportunity employer.  I mean, they hired you fresh off the tard cart on your way home from a tough day at school at the resource center, we have a raging homo for a color commentator and don't even get me started on the hiring of Sandy Wong

Dave:  I am not even going to dignify those comments.  I apologize to the fans at home for my colleague Jeff Marx' comments.

Novak, calls for a microphone from the ringside area, and ring announcer Clay Clayborne obliges him by tossing one into the ring.  Novak grabs it with a behind-the-back catch, lifts it, and immediately begins to speak.

"The Mack" Ed Novak:  Hey-lo, Newark!

The crowd boos loudly in reply, though a few more inebriated fans cheer and start a weak chant of "Mack's da Man!"

Jeff:  How many times do I have to say itthere is only one DA MAN in PCW and it is Clyde!

Dave:  Shhhhh!

Novak:  Thank you, thank you.  I am the man.  But as much as I'd

like to stand here and bask in your adoration and love--

He stops as another chorus of boos drowns him up, and another chant

of a more spiteful nature starts up.  Once the noise dies down, "the

Mack" continues.

Novak:  Your adoration and love...I've got something important to

talk about!  Actually, five things:  Asylum!

The crowd pops loudly at the mention of the lunatic stable.

Novak:  Yeah, cheer them all you want.  They are going to do the

collective J-O-B today, out in the middle of the street, out there in the pouring rain

(Novak is interrupted by the sound of crashing thunder in the background.)

Dave:  It sounds like it is absolutely nasty out there.

Jeff:  Either that or the dumbass match writer had the street fight take place inside for some reason.

Dave:  No comment.

Steven giggles.

Novak (continuing) as I was saying, Asylum is going to job to the most powerful and influential group in PCW and that group, of course, is Media!

Again, "the Mack" stops to bask in the heat radiating from the crowd.

Dave:  You can't argue that Media is the most influential group in PCW.

Novak:  It's a pretty even matchup.  The Media Moguls, Chris and

Allen, will neutralize...well, let's face it, destroy Pheonix and Miyagawa!

The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos.

Dave:  I think Novak is living in a fantasy land if he actually believes that

Novak paces around the ring for a bit and cockily smirks out at the crowd.  Finally, he lifts the microphone and continues.

Novak:  Chet and the CEO will obliterate Bang and Sodacan Man!

The crowd once again explodes into an agry chorus of boos.  Security rushes out to stop fans from hopping the guardrail and hitting the ring.

Dave:  HA!!!  He's been sniffing glue.

Steven:  My Boca likes to sniff glue.  It is a cultural thing among the people in Ecuador.

Jeff and Dave:  (simultaneously)  SHUT UP STEVEN!!!

Novak:  (continuing) And of course, yours truly, "the Mack" Ed Novak, will beat the living hell out of the hardcore wannabe, "KYJ" Jack Welch!

Steven:  I'm hardcore!! I'm hardcore!!

Jeff:  You're gay!! You're gay!!

Dave: Not that there's anything wrong with that!!! Not that there's anything wrong with that!!!

The crowd pops at the mention of Novak's rival hardcore legend, and

in memory of the classic battle the two had just seven days previous.

Novak:  (continuing) KY Jellyman, you can feel free to call yourself hardcore. Feel free to say that you're a legend, that you're more extreme than anyone else. 

Novak looks down and pauses for a moment.  He puts his hand to his chin, smirks, then continues.

Novak:  (continuing) Come to think of it, while you're at it, why not claim to be an Egyptian god descended from the heavens to strike fear into the hearts of men?  Because you and I, and all these Delawarian idiots, know that you are about as hardcore as Scott Naket!

The crowd gives a mixed reaction, popping for the unemployed Canadian Hero and booing Novak's trashing of Pat Walsh.

Jeff:  UghScott Naket.  Let's hope we never see him again.

Novak:  But your time will come Y2KY.  We'll have a rematch somewhere

down the line, for my PCW Homestead Extreme Title.

The crowd pops at the idea Y2W facing the Mack for the Extreme Title sometime soon.  Novak paces a bit.

Novak:  Now everyone, I would like to introduce you to my little friend.  So put your hands together for Mini-Mack!

Jeff:  Dude, Willow is gonna talk!

Dave:  He goes by the name of Mini-Mack!

Jeff:  Hey, I heard Tom Cruise was considering appearing in the Midget Mayhem Match at Spring Fling, but was denied by PCW officials.

Dave:  Really?  Why?

Jeff:  They felt he was too short to compete.

Steven giggles.

Dave:  (sighing)  Why do I bother?

The crowd pops as "the Mack" turns to his midget manager and hands

him the mic.  Mini-Mack struts around the ring, grinning in an exact

imitation of Novak's toothy smile.  After awhile, he stops, and

speaks.

Mini-Mack: (British accent. Good day, Americans!  I am, as you know, Mini-Mack, the miniature look-alike of "the Mack" Ed Novak.  Anyhow, as you also likely know, tonight there will be a match between the Monster they call Meanstreak, and the smaller, wimpier, and ultimately doomed Mike Marvelous.  While I have no problem with either of these gentlemen, I do have a grudge against Mr. Marvelous' miniature clone, Mini-Mike!

The crowd pops again.  A "Midgets Rule!" chant starts up.

Jeff:  DO THEY EVER!! Midgets are almost as cool as nippage!

Dave:  How many times do I have to tell you that nippage is not a word?

Jeff:  If's it not a word, why did you just properly use it in a sentence?

Mini-Mack:  Mini-Mike, as I told you before on Sunday Sabotage, you

are nothing!  Watch your back, little man, for you may find a sharp

instrument used for cutting embedded in it! 

Steven:  Or my.

Dave:  (interrupting)  WHOA!!! Looky there, he is still speaking!

Mini-Mack:  Oh yes, and remember...

The midget grins and waits as "the Mack" Ed Novak walks over to him

and crouches low enough to be heard on the mic.

Novak & Mini-Mike:  We've got "it", baby!

Jeff:  I think I'm gonna be sick.

"Return of the Mack" by Mark Morrison hits, and the two exit the

ring and make their way back up the ramp.

Dave:  We'll keep your lunch down, Jeff, because we are going to keep it right here and head to the ring for our first match of the evening.  Let's send it up to Clay Clayborne!

("Come With Me" (Puff Daddy) plays over the PA as Duzza  makes his way to the ring.)

Clay: Now coming to the ring, weighing 232 lbs., from Harlem, New York, Duzza!

Dave:  There has been talk that PCW should have signed Red Rock to go along with Duzza.  Duzza has struggled on his own in PCW.

Jeff:  Red Rock would be laying down just like Duzza has been here in PCW.  Red Rock is best left to toil along with the rest of the no talent losers in the NTICW.

(Lit's "My Own Worst Enemy" blares over the PA system as the fans in attendance shoot off a nice pop. Putter Mayhem begins to make his way to the ring swinging around a 3 iron.)

Clay: His opponent, from Indianapolis, Indiana, weight 250 lbs., he is a former PCW Rising Star Champion, Putter Mayhem!

(Putter climbs into the ring and sets up and gold ball in the middle of it. He hits the ball into the crowd with a might swing. Duzza attacks Putter from behind. The golf club goes flying out into the crowd from Duzza's impact. He's working Putter over with several rights and lefts. Putter begins to fight back. He kicks Duzza in the gut, holds his hands as if he were holding a golf club. Putter screams FORE! And brings his hands up to connect with Duzza's chin sending him across the ring. Putter climbs the top rope and signals out to the crowd. Duzza is back and charges at Putter. Putter ducks Duzza's clothesline attempt, kicks him in the gut and hits a ddt. Putter pulls Duzza back up and sends him into the turnbuckle. He stands on the second rope above Duzza and begins to punch away. The crowd counts for him.

Crowd: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

(Putter acknowledges the crowd and then hits a monkey flip on Duzza. Putter climbs back to the top rope. He screams FORE! And jumps off the tope rope nailing the FIVE IRON FRENZY! Putter with the cover. 123!)

Winner: Putter Mayhem       Time: 2:21

Dave:  So Putter Mayhem continues to pile up victories with an easy win over Duzza.  I suppose Duzza needs to pay his dues here in PCW before catching a little success.

Jeff:  Just another case of the white man keeping a brotha down.

Dave:  (disagreeing tone) NoHe's just a little green.

Jeff:  Funny, I thought Duzza is black.

Dave:  I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.  We are going to head to a commercial.  We'll be right back.

(PCW Spring Fling, Sunday, April 8th, 2001, Live and only on Pay Per View.  Call your local cable company or satellite provider today to order!)

Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil.  We are about ready to head to the ring for our.

Dave's words are cut off as "Quiet" from the Smashing Pumpkins hits the PA system.

Dave: OH MY GOD!! THAT'S THE PHANTOM BOOKER'S MUSIC!!!

Jeff:  Look, someone is coming out of the back!!!

The crowd immediately the crowd erupts into a chorus of boos as a smirking Tyler Nelson struts out of the back followed by the two network executives we saw during the show's opening.

The crowd is enraged by Nelson's mocking gesture of coming out the Phantom Booker's music.

Dave:  (disgusted)  Oh, he is now mocking the former president of PCW.  Talk about kicking a dog when he's down!

Jeff:  The only thing better than kicking a dog when he's down is kicking a one legged midget.

Dave sighs.

The CEO has his Television Title slung over his shoulder. Tyler heads down the ramp towards the ring as the crowd starts to hurl a barrage of debris at the CEO. The two network execs try to shield themselves from the garbage as they make their way down as well. Tyler walks up the ring steps and climbs through the ropes. He smiles and mocks the crowd and the boos become deafening. The two network execs have finally made their way into the ring, both of them covered with soda and other various items. Tyler walks over and demands the microphone from Clay Clayborne. Then the CEO walks back to the center of the ring and stands in front of the two execs, who have some what frightened looks on their faces. Tyler takes a look at them and chuckles a bit. He then peers out over the crowd.

Tyler: Ha ha! Look at you maroons.  Did you honestly think your precious Phantom Booker was coming out? 

The crowd is enraged at the total lack of disrespect for the man who built PCW.

Nelson turns to the executives, who still look petrified at the crowd's reaction.

Tyler:  I bet you guys never had a reception like this while you were broadcasting GsE, did you?

Both men shake their heads emphatically "No".

Tyler: That's because they never had any fans in the arenas

Jeff:  HA!!!

Dave:  Ouch.

Tyler: (continuing) Well, fellas, get used to the boosbask in them even, because people hate those with power. Now, if I can be greedy for a minute.

The crown raises the volume of the boos to new heights. Tyler looks around disgustedly and then proceeds.

Tyler: Will you children of the corn shut your pie holes! The CEO has a special announcement to make.

The noise doesn't lessen and Tyler turns to the execs who are talking amongst each other. He motions to the two men that everything is under control. Then he turns his attention back to the fans.

Tyler: You see, just like a promised the world, Media has gotten PCW on network television. This past weekend, I signed a deal with UK-L87 Network to broadcast all PCW programming, including the Chet King Show and The Chef's cooking show.

The crowd erupts angrily.

The Crowd:  YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!!

Tyler: Come on people! Show a little respect for who put PCW in the big time, Media. Myself, 'The Commish' Dan Hollywood, Chet King, the Chef, 'The Mack' Ed Novak, and the Media Moguls Allen and Kano are the ones you tune in to see. We said we were going to get rid of the ratings dead weight, and we did it.

Tyler starts to count on his fingers.

Tyler: Naket, GONE!

The crowd pops at the sound of Naket's name.

Dave:  

Tyler: Knox, GONE!

A smaller pop.

Tyler: Showtime, GONE!

The crowd pops, but not for the mentioning of Showtime's name, but in agreement with the CEO.

Tyler: Revenant, Gone!

No reaction.

Tyler: Lack-o-Stress, GONE!

Another HUGE pop for the former PCW Television and Rising Star Champion!

Tyler: Every one of those guys held this company back from ratings superiority. And wouldn't you know, after we CANCELLED all of their asses we go Network. These two gentlemen are from our network, UK-L87. I flew them in and put them up in the best hotel I could find in this trailer trash town...

Jeff:  Speaking of trailer trash, Nelson has to sully himself by defending the TV title against Bang Davenport on Sunday.

The crowd goes off in a chorus off jeers again and launches yet more debris into the ring.

Tyler: ...because I have a little token of good will for them.

The CEO turns to the two men who are almost shaking in the ring. He puts a hand on his Television Title.

Tyler: As a sign of Media and PCW's loyalty and gratitude to UK-L87 Network, I am hereby renaming MY Television Title the UK-L87 Network Television Title.

More negative feedback from the crowd as Tyler smiles and shakes hands with the executives. He hands the older man the microphone.

Older exec: Thank you Mr. Nelson for that generous token of appreciation. I'm sure you will defend that title with honor and dignity. On behalf of the UK-L87 Netowrk I would just like to say that we look forward to broadcasting all of PCW's programs and marketing it's brightest stars like Media...

Tyler gets a huge grin on his face and raises his head high.

Older exec: ...and the PCW World Champion Frisco...

The crowd erupts at the mention of the DAMN member. The smile quickly erases from Tyler's face and he coldly stares at the older man.

Older exec: ...and Kid Wond-

Another huge pop for the returning teen idol. Tyler yanks the microphone out of the executive's hand. He then turns to face the crowd.

Tyler: Whoa, would you look at the time. We have to get on with the show. Don't worry, though. Media will be out later for all you people to cheer us on as we destroy those ratingless members of Asylum. Ta ta!

Tyler throws the mic down in the ring and turns to the executives. He looks to have a couple choice words for them and then motions them to follow him out of the ring and up into the back.

Dave:  A disgusting display of stick work there by the CEO.

Jeff:  Speaking of disgusting displays, our next match features not only JJ, but TriP too.  (Audibly sniffing the air)  Smell them ratings folks!

Dave:  (grumbling)  Ignore him ladies and gentlemen.  We are now going to send it to the ring where JJ will try to even the score for 24k's interference in his match last week.  Let's send it up to Clay Clayborne.

("Take It" by Insane Clown Posse hits as the team of Carl Cash, Scott Hunta, and LeShawn Spade come out.)

Clay: Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 735 pounds, Carl Cash, LeShawn Spade, and "The Show Stoppa" Scott Hunta.......24K

("Da Bomb" by The Bucketheads hits as JJ makes his way out looking as goofy as ever.)

Clay: Their opponents, first, from Wutdahell, Idaho, at a weight of 229 pounds.......JJ

("Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen hits as the T&A champion, Brown Sugar, accompanies Empyre out.)

Clay: His tag team partners, being accompanied to the ring by Brown Sugar, at a combined weight of 519 pounds, TRiP and Kaoblivion.......EMPYRE

CC and TRiP are the two men that'll start things off. They lock up. CC locks TRiP in a wristlock for a few seconds until TRiP stings CC with a vicious chop. TRiP with another chop, and another backing CC into the ropes. TRiP goes to whip CC into the ropes, but he reverses. CC sets up for a back body drop as TRiP bounces off the ropes. TRiP flies over CC and hits him with a sunset flip. Referee Bob Charlie counts, 1.....2....CC kicks out. CC runs to his corner and tags in LSS.

LSS runs in at TRiP but is taken down with an arm drag. LSS gets up and charges at TRiP again, but TRiP takes him over with another arm drag. TRiP then locks an armbar on LSS, reaches over to his corner, and tags in JJ. As TRiP lets go of LSS, JJ hits him with a senton, then makes a cover, 1.......2....LSS kicks out.

JJ pulls LSS up and backs him into the ropes with a couple knife edge chops. He then goes to whip LSS into the ropes, but LSS reverses. As JJ goes to bounce off the ropes, SH hits him with a hard knee to the back. JJ turns around right after getting hit and punches SH knocking him off the apron. He turns back around to focus his attention on LSS, but LSS is already ahead of him and takes him over the top rope with a running clothesline. Outside the ring, SH is up and pulls JJ up. The two of them brawl outside the ring, then all the way up the ramp.

Inside the ring, referee Bob Charlie begins counting JJ out until TRiP and Kao run in and attack LSS. CC comes in and the war is on. Bob Charlie forgets about JJ and worries about the action going on inside the ring. After a bit of brawling, TRiP and CC both leave the ring and go back to their respective corners leaving LSS and Kao as the legal men.

Jeff:  God, this is awful.  The only threesome that could possibly be worse is Justin Sane, Myst and JJ.

Steven:  Eh, actually, a Dave Thomas from Wendy's, Buddy Hackett, Ed Asner threesome would be worse.

Jeff:  (pretending he is on the phone)  Hello, Euro Networks?  Don't give our spot away, we may be on our way back!

Kao goes to lock up with LSS, but Spade gouges the eyes of Kao, then kicks away at him. LSS whips Kao into the corner. LSS charges at Kao but gets caught with a boot to the face. While LSS is staggered, Kao goes to run out of the corner at him, but CC grabs the shoulders of Kao and yanks him down to the mat. LSS comes to and starts to choke away at Kao. Bob Charlie orders for the break, so LSS breaks, then tags in CC. CC comes in and hits a legdrop onto Kao, then covers him, 1......2.....Kao kicks out.

Jeff:  Please oh merciful God!!!  End this match quickly!

CC pulls Kao up and sends him into the ropes. He kicks Kao as he comes back, then lifts him up and drops him with a brainbuster. CC makes another cover, 1......2....TRiP comes in and breaks it up. As Charlie gets TRiP out of the ring, CC and LSS double-team Kao. Both men lift Kao up and drop him with a facebuster. LSS gets out as the ref turns around. CC covers Kao, 1.......2.....TRiP in to break it up again. CC says something to the ref, then stomps on Kao a bit. CC sends Kao into the corner. He charges at Kao, but Kao gets an elbow up to stagger CC a bit. He then grabs Kao, hops onto the middle turnbuckle, then nails CC with a tornado DDT. Both men are down in the middle of the ring. Kao slowly starts crawling towards his corner to make the tag as CC just lays there. CC starts to move but Kao makes the hot tag to TRiP. CC gets the tag to LSS.

As TRiP comes in, so does LSS. LSS charges at TRiP but is taken down with a dropkick. CC gets up but is taken down by another big dropkick from TRiP. LSS gets up again, but is taken down with a hip toss. CC is slowly starting to get up, as is LSS. TRiP stands and waits for CC to get up. Meanwhile, LSS uses the ropes to get back up. Once LSS is up, Kao charges at him. LSS sees him coming and back body drops him over the top rope and down to the floor.

At the top of the ramp, we can see the battle between JJ and SH hasn't quite finished. JJ has SH down, then yells something we can't hear. JJ then drops a big elbow onto SH.

Inside the ring, CC gets up only to be met with MAGICALLY DELICIOUS by TRiP!! TRiP goes to cover CC, but LSS comes up from behind him and nails him with THE ACE OF SPADE!!! JJ is too busy pounding on SH at the top of the ramp to notice that LSS is covering TRiP. Charlie counts, 1.......2.......3

WINNERS: 24K

Jeff:  YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Dave:  I didn't know you were such a big 24K fan, Jeff!!!

Jeff:  I'm not!  I am just grateful its over and JJ and his friends can stop boring me to death.

Dave:  Someday you will learn to see what other people admire about JJ.

Steven:  I know I'd admire JJ more if he would just come out of the closet and admit his is "one of us."

Dave:  Uh.

Jeff:  Don't refer to "us" in that fashion.  Use another phrase like "my people" because I certainly not a fan of the old skin enema.

Dave:  FAMILY SHOW, JEFF!!! FAMILY SHOW!!!

Jeff:  You're bashing me with FAMILY SHOW, when the spooge receptical here is spouting his gay

Dave:  (interrupting)  Oh, looky there!  We are ready to head to the ring for our next match!  Let's send it up to Clay.

("Wake Up" by Rage Against the Machine hits as The Masters of Destruction come out.)

Clay: Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 580 pounds, The Master and The Destructor.......THE MASTERS OF DESTRUCTION

("Smack My Bich Up" by The Prodigy hits as The Iron Cross comes out along with Rachel Stevens.)

Clay: Their opponents, being accompanied to the ring by Rachel Stevens, at a combined weight of 523 pounds, "Smokin'" Joe Cross and "Twisted" Chris Metal.......THE IRON CROSS

("Voices" by Disturbed hits as The Storm Brothers come out)

Clay: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 415 pounds, AJ and Jay Storm.......THE STORM BROTHERS

AJ and TCM are the two men that'll start this match up. The two men lock up. AJ puts TCM in a hammerlock. TCM goes for a back elbow, but AJ ducks under it, then hits TCM with an inverted atomic drop. AJ hits TCM with a standing dropkick taking him down. AJ makes a cover, 1......2...TCM easily kicks out. AJ goes over and tags in Jay. AJ wrenches TCM's arm, then Jay kicks him square in the ribs.

Jay kicks away at TCM backing him into the corner. Jay with a couple chops to the chest of TCM. He then climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and pounds away at TCM's head, 1.......2......3......4......5......6......7.....8.....9....10! Jay hits TCM with a monkey flip sending him halfway across the ring. TCM shuffles over and desperately tags SJC.

Dave:  The Storm Brothers work well together.

Steven:  Not as well as Boca and I do

Steven's words are cut off by a loud, meaty smack. 

Jeff:  Sorry Dave, I couldn't take it anymore.

As SJC comes in, Jay charges at him. SJC ducks under Jay, grabs him from behind, and hits him with a german suplex. SJC covers Jay, 1.....2.....kick out. SJC pulls Jay up and applies a wristlock. He pushes him towards the corner and tags in The Master!? SJC lets go of Jay and goes back to his corner where TCM and he exchange a few words.

Inside the ring, Master is working on Jay. He beats on him in the corner with some stiff punches. He then lifts Jay up high in the air and hot shots him off the top rope. Master drops a chop across the throat of Jay, then covers, 1.....2....Jay kicks out. Master lifts Jay up and bodyslams him. He then runs over and nails AJ on the apron knocking him off. Master goes to his corner and tags in Destructor.

As Jay struggles to his feet, Destructor stomps him back down to the mat. Destructor drops a huge legdrop across the chest of Jay, then covers, 1.......2....TCM in to break it up. TCM and Destructor exchange a few words as TCM leaves the ring.

Dave: Nobody seems to like "Twisted" Chris Metal right now.

Jeff: Can you blame them!!?

Steven:  Nope!

Destructor lifts the much smaller Jay up high in the air and in a military press position. He holds him up there showing off for the crowd. Unfortunately for Destructor, he holds him up too long as Jay manages to wiggle free and gets behind Destructor. Jay pushes Destructor towards the corner of The Iron Cross. When he arrives there, TCM tags himself in with a solid punch to Destructor's jaw.

TCM charges at Jay and nearly takes his head off with a running lariat. TCM pounds at the skull of Jay as referee Speedy Riggs pulls him off. As TCM argues with Speedy, Jay uses the ropes as a way to get back to his feet. Speedy leaves TCM alone as Jay gets to his feet. TCM charges at Jay, but Jay ducks and TCM hits SJC with a lariat instead knocking him off of the apron. TCM looks at SJC outside the ring as he gets up. TCM tries apologizing, but SJC says something to him, then grabs Rachel and the two of them start backing up the ramp. During the distraction, Jay gets to his corner and tags in AJ.

Dave:  Is anyone else annoyed by the fact that this particular match writer chose to use TCM to indicate Chris Metal, when it is well established it is Trashcan Man's abbreviation.

TCM and SJC are still exchanging words as AJ runs in. He comes up from behind TCM, spins him around, and takes him down with a falcon arrow. AJ then runs over to the MoD corner, grabs master and Destructor, and smashes their heads together knocking both off the apron. AJ then drags TCM into the middle of the ring and tags in Jay. Jay goes up top as AJ holds the legs of TCM to keep him from moving. Jay comes off the top and connects with THUNDER FROM ABOVE!!! AJ keeps Master from coming into the ring as Jay covers TCM, 1.......2........3

WINNERS: The Storm Brothers

Dave:  So the Storm Brothers pick up the win.  It seems to be just a matter of time until these talented brothers follow in the older brother Mike's foot steps and make some hay in the singles ranks.

Jeff:  If they make hay, they will be following in the foot steps of Bang Davenport.

Dave (sighing) We need to head to a commercial.  We'll be right back.

(Commercial:  PCW is brought to you by Ovaltine, Tang and some other crappy instant beverages)

Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil.  We are ready to head to the ring for our next match of the evening which features one fourth of Friday's #1 Contender's Match for the PCW World Title in Slade, and good looking newcomer Raphael DeMarco.

Steven:  I don't think he's handsome at

Dave:  (interrupting)  It was a figure of speech StevenLet's head to the ring.

("Sweet Dreams" by Marilyn Manson hits as the former, and last, Rising Star champion makes his way out.)

Clay: Making his way to the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada, at a weight of 265 pounds......."THE LEGACY" SLADE

("Words Are Weapons" by Eminem hits as the newcomer, Raphael DeMarco, comes out.)

Clay: His opponent, from Sacramento, California, at a weight of 238 pounds.......RAPHAEL DEMARCO

Jeff: (sarcasticly)This oughtta be good

Slade stomps away at RD as he slides into the ring. After enough stomping, Slade starts hitting a couple forearms to his back, then chokes him. After enough of the cheap moves, Slade covers, 1......2...kick out by RD. Slade pulls RD up and sends him into the corner. Slade cockily walks towards RD as he looks helpless. Once Slade gets to him, RD starts kicking Slade, then tosses him into the corner. RD begins to slam Slade's head hard into the turnbuckle. he then spins Slade around and nails him with some stiff knife-edge chops.

Dave: You can just feel the force of those chops from hear!

Jeff: (pauses)Nope....don't feel a thing.

Steven: I wish Raphy would feel me.

Dave:  I thought you said you didn't find him handsome.

Steven:  Yeah, but that was before I saw this part of the text.

Dave:  Lazy editor syndrome?

Steven:  Yeppers.

RD sends Slade into the ropes and takes him down with a high knee to the face. RD makes a cover, 1.....2...Slade kicks out. RD locks Slade in a side headlock. Slade fights to his feet and hits RD with a few elbows to the gut. He then grabs him and picks him up for a belly to back suplex, but RD lands on his feet, then grabs Slade and drops him with a belly to back of his own. RD makes a cover, 1......2....Slade kicks out. RD puts Slade in a head scissors. Slade fights his way out of the hold of RD and gets back up. Both men are up and stare at each other for a moment.

Jeff:  Raphael DeMarco reminds me of a less talented yet more annoying version of Scott Naket.

Dave:  Is that possible?

Jeff:  Which, being less talented or more annoying than Naket?

Dave:  Either.

Jeff:  It was not thought to be possible, then WHOA, the Chef suggested we call up RD from the NZW. 

Dave:  Damn you Chef, damn you to hell!

Jeff:  If you want him to go to hell, make him come out and call this match for me.

After another moment, the two men lock up. Slade hits RD with a couple knees to the gut, then nails him with a t-bone suplex. Slade makes a cover, 1.....2....RD kicks out. Slade starts to choke at the newcomer again. After enough choking with his hand, he uses the middle rope. Referee Speedy Riggs forces him to break the hold. Slade breaks, then bounces off the ropes and tries jumping on RD, but RD moves out of the way. RD then grabs Slade from behind and rolls him up, 1......2...Slade kicks out. RD pulls Slade up and goes to send him into the ropes, but Slade reverses. Slade catches RD for a samoan drop but RD counters it with a crucifix pin, 1.....2....Slade kicks out once more.

Dave: Slade's being forced to work here tonight. DeMarco's had some kind of defense to everything he's tried.

RD pulls Slade up and backs him into the ropes. He goes to whip him, but Slade reverses. Slade then catches RD as he bounces back with a sleeper. RD starts to go down and eventually does. Speedy checks to see if he's out or not. He lifts his arm and drops it. ONE! Lifts it again and lets it drop. TWO! Speedy lifts RD's arm up once more and lets it drop. RD stops it about half way and starts to fight back. RD fights to his feet. he hits Slade with a couple elbows, then pushes him into the ropes. Slade bounces off and tries catching RD with a running lariat, but RD sees it and catches Slade. He has him in position for the RD Bottom, but Slade is ready for it. Slade hits RD with a hard elbow to the back of his head, then drops RD with some kind of Flatliner variant. With RD down, Slade grabs him and locks him in the SLADE STRETCH!! RD holds off for a bit, then has no choice but to tap out.

WINNER: Slade                              Time:  6:00

Dave:  So Slade builds a some momentum going into Friday's #1 contender's match for the world title.

Jeff:  Slade better make sure his insurance is up to date, because he'll be stepping into the ring with Meanstreak on Friday.

Dave:  I am told one of our crack reporting team is in the back with Jeff's buddy

Jeff:  (interrupting, excited)  DA MAN, CLYDE!!!!

The scene shifts backstage a lone cameraman stands, warily eyeing Clyde and Bethany. Never averting his eyes......never dropping his guard. He waits.....he watches......

Clyde: (Chuckling) Why is it I never get the real interviewers anymore?

Bethany: Could be they're all scared you're going to hurt them.......

Clyde: What ever would give them that impression?

The makeshift interviewer, clutching his microphone like a sword, finally has the wherewithal to speak.

Cameraman: How did I get roped into doing this again?

Clyde: Are you going to do this interview or not?

Cameraman: You called for this thing.......what do you want?

Clyde: (Raising an eyebrow, then shaking his head) Right. I called you

here because I wanted to provide a demonstration.......I have a rather

interesting match coming up. A Tai Pei Deathmatch.......do you know what that entails, friend?

The man only shakes his head.......

Clyde: (Laughing) That's the problem......I'm sure not many people do

either. So.......for the benefit of those at home, I'm going to explain

to you the rules of such a match. Bethany.......

The little girl in the black dress walks off camera for a bit. When she

reemerges, she holds two buckets. One is filled with alcohol, the other

with shards of broken glass......

Clyde: First off, both my opponent Trashcan Man and I will dip our

hands in alcohol, like so.......

Clyde's burned hands enter the tub of solvent, then out again.......

Clyde: Then.......we wrap our hands in tape..........

Bethany provides the honors, covering Clyde's burned hands in a sticky

gauze.

Clyde: Finally into this lovely vat of sharp objects we have here. Now

ordinarily we could use any manner of pointy things......tacks, pins,

razor blades......but for our match at Spring Fling we'll just be using

glass.

Laughing all the way, the burned man rolls his tape covered hands in

the vat of broken glass as the cameraman can only shake his head.

Cameraman: You're sick, you know that right?

Clyde: Am I? Am I really? Trashcan Man's been a thorn in my side for

God knows how long........one way or another, in the name of peace,

this has to stop......

Cameraman: In......the name of peace.....!?

Clyde: (Raising his now glass covered fists) Now then, here comes the

fun part.......anything goes! TrashHeap and I, we're gonna fight till

one man goes down for a ten count.

Playfully Clyde begins sparring with the cameraman, who ducks and

dodges the incoming glass for dear life.

Cameraman: Hey.....stop it! Cut that out!

A jab, a shot to the body......then a hook which actually connects,

causing the interviewer to bleed.

Cameraman: Ouch! You cut me you crazy sonofabitch!

A glazed look comes over the face of Clyde.......no longer seeing the

cameraman, or the world for that matter. His punches speed

up......flailing away at the air in rapid succession.

Clyde: TrashHeap......you make me SICK, do you understand that? SICK. I

am SICK of you......I NEVER want to see you again. One way or another,

one of us will not come back from this pay-per-view.......and IT WILL

NOT BE ME! Do you understand!?

Bethany: Clyde.

Clyde: Sick.

Bethany: Clyde.

Clyde: Sick!

Bethany: CLYDE!

Finally the burned man breaks from his ramblings. He looks over to the

girl with a blank expression.

Clyde: What?

The little girl points down, gesturing towards the cameraman who lies

in a bloody heap on the floor.

Clyde: .............oops. I think we'd better leave.......

With a shrug, Clyde makes his escape with Bethany.

The camera shifts back to the stunned announce team.

Dave:  (stunned)  That, ladies and gentleman, is the person Jeff Marx refers to as "DA MAN."   We have to head to a commercial.  We'll be right back.

(Commercial:  PCW is brought to you by Foot and Mouth disease.  Nothing adds flavor to beef and mutton like a little F & M.)

Dave:  Welcome back to Turmoil.  We are ready to head to the ring for where Jon Zombie and Kage are set to make their PCW debuts.  Let's send it up to Clay Clayborne.

Clay: Now making his way to the ring

("One Step Closer" by Linkin Park begins to play over the loud speaker as the fans jump up looking for Phoenix or Miyagawa. Instead, the PCW newcomer Kage steps out from the back and begins to make his way to the ring.)

Clay: from Venice Beach, California and making his PCW debut, Kage!

("Spirit in the Sky" begins to blare over the PA and the crowd begins to boo wildly. The lights flicker with each guitar riff. As the other instruments begin to join in with the guitar, white explosions go off all over the arena ending with one huge one at the top of the ramp. Reverend appears behind this explosion. He turns and points to the entrance as Jon Zombie steps out from the back and follows Reverend down to ringside. Reverend ignores the fans' boos as he leads his newest protégé.

Dave:  Where does Reverend find all these guys?

Jeff:  Homeless  shelters, free health clinics, Hooters

Zombie climbs into the ring as Reverend walks around it on the outside eyeing Kage. Kage returns the glare, taking his focus off of Zombie who rushes him from the blindside with a hard knee to his back. Speedy Riggs backs Zombie up as Kage hangs through the second rope. Reverend plants a stiff right hand to the face of Kage knocking him back into the ring. Kage begins to slowly make his way up but is met in the corner by Zombie. Zombie punches Kage a couple of times and then sends him across the ring to the other turnbuckle. He attempts to follow him in, but is caught with an elbow to the side of the face Zombie staggers back. Kage flies out of the turnbuckle and hits Zombie with a leaping clothesline. Kage stays on the attack. He climbs to the second rope and leaps off in an attempted double axe handle but is caught in the mid section with a punch by a recovering Zombie. Kage is bent over as Zombie bounces off the ropes and jumps up attempting a hurricarana. Kage catches him and slams him down in a sitting powerbomb. He stays down for the pin. Riggs counts, 12..Zombie barely kicks out. Kage picks Zombie up and whips him into the ropes. Zombie ducks an attempted clothesline, jumps onto the second rope and does a Tombsault onto Kage. He follows with a pin. 12..Kage barely kicks out! Reverend is screaming at the ref from outside the ring, accusing him of a slow count.

Jeff:  The Reverend is complaining about a slow count, yet he is distracting the referee giving Kage valuable time to recover.

Kage and Zombie up at the same time. Kage kicks at Zombie. Zombie catches it, turns him around and hooks around his waist. Zombie picks Kage up but Kage flips over Zombie. Kage lands on his feet, hooks around Zombie's waist and hits a german suplex. Kage is up and on fire. He jumps up to the top rope. Zombie begins to slowly stand. As Zombie turns toward Kage, Kage leaps off of the top rope flipping over Zombie, but grabbing his neck and executing THE LIGHTSPEED NECKBREAKER!  Kage is hurt and stunned momentarily by the move. He eventually rolls over for the pin. Reverend hustles to the side of the ring and puts Zombie's leg on the bottom rope. Riggs counts, 12..Riggs stops when he notices Zombie's leg on the rope.

Dave:  Having the former World Champion in his corner certainly helped Jon Zombie there.

Jeff:  Just associating with the likes of Jon Zombie brings down Reverend's reputation.

He shows Kage who looks frustratedly at Reverend. Reverend holds his hands up claiming his innocence. Kage begins to walk over toward Reverend. Zombie grabs Speedy Riggs to keep his back turned and to help himself up. Reverend jumps up on the apron, blocks a punch from Kage, grabs him and guillotines his neck over the top rope. Kage stumbles back into a waiting Zombie who hits him with the HELLBILLY DELUXE!  Zombie with a pin. 123!)

Winner: Jon Zombie         Time: 5:35

Dave:  So Jon Zombie wins his PCW debut, while Kage suffers the sting of defeat.

Jeff:  Meanwhile, the rest of us suffered the sting of having to witness that abortion of a match.

The camera shifts to the ring, where Reverend has hopped into the ring and has asked for a microphone. The ring announcer obliges by tossing it into the ring. He stands over Kage and points his finger at him.)

Reverend: Now you know your judgement! You come into this fed looking to make a big splash so you take out my man Crom. You engaged yourself in a war you don't want to be a part of. Get out now Kage. Leave PCW running. You can't handle the war I'm waging on this federation.Get him out of here.

(Zombie kicks Kage out of the ring as Reverend asserts himself firmly in the middle of the ring.)

Reverend: Again tonight, The Congregation makes its presence known. The newest member of my army has a successful debut over an over hyped opponent. PCW you have witnessed another piece of my plan. Another addition to my army in action.

Jeff:  Blah, blah, blah!

Reverend:  (continuing) More pieces to this puzzle will fall into place soon enough. The New Congregation will rule with a fist of judgement! The war is declared!

(Reverend and Zombie leave the ring and walk up the ramp as Spirit in the Sky plays.)

Dave:  So the Reverend has once again declared that the Congregation is here to go to war.

Jeff:  (sarcastically) Nothing like a stable of satanic jobbers to drive ratings.

Dave:  Yeah, look at XCW's rosterif that's the case, we're in trouble!

All three announcers share a hearty laugh.

Dave:  (still chuckling)  Ok, we are ready to head to the ring for our next match up, which is of the four corners variety, as the Chef will defend his PCW European Title against Jake Keeton, PCW Cruiserweight Champion Amazing Mike Storm and Stephen Blood.  Let's head to the ring.

Clay Clayborne: The following match is a four corners match for the PCW European title. Making his way to the ring at this time, representing the Five Star Five ........... "The Future" Jake Keeton!

"Take a Look Around" from Limp Bizkit starts to play as Jake Keeton makes his way to the ring.

Debonair by Dope blasts throughout the arena as Stephen Blood makes his way to the ring.

Clay: Now making his way to the ring one half of the Blood Brothers.............STEPHEN BLOOD!!!!

("Guilty Until Proven Innocent" by Jay-Z hits as Mike Storm comes out)

Clay: Making his way to the ring, at a weight of 220 pounds......."AMAZING" MIKE STORM

("Eat It" by Weird Al is playing over the PA and the crowd begins to boo heatedly. The Chef appears with microphone in hand, walking side by side with Bertha Stewart who carries a rolling pin with her. )

Clay: Now coming to the ringside, accompanied by Bertha Stewart. He is the PCW European Champion, The Chef!

Chef: Shutup Clay! I'm trying to speak. I have decided to use the  power I now hold within this federation since I've become a member of the Media. This match will now be a no dq, falls count anywhere match. How's that for a tasty treat?

Jeff: He holds power?

Dave: Apparently so.

Steven: It doesn't compare to the power my Boca holds between his legs!

(A slapping noise is heard in the background.)

(Storm charges across the ring and begins trading shots with Jake Keeton as Blood slides outside the ring and begins trading shots with Chef. Chef gains advantage and whips Blood toward Bertha. Bertha attempts a clothesline but Blood hooks her arm with his rotates around behind her, hooks her head under his arm and lands a DDT on the outside. Bertha is out cold. Chef catches Blood with a clothesline to the side of the head, knocking him down. In the ring, Keeton now has the edge on Storm and clotheslines him to the outside. Storm lands on his feet. Keeton propels himself over the top rope and lands on Storm. He stays on top of him punching him several times. Chef comes around the corner and slings Blood toward Keeton. Blood just runs right over the smaller man. Blood looks down at Keeton and picks up. He tosses him to Chef who catches him and drives him down with a power slam. Chef gets up and picks up Storm. He tosses him at Blood who catches him on his shoulder and drills him to the ground.)

Dave: They're playing catch with the cruiserweights!

Jeff: At least the division is good for something.

(Blood and Chef smile and charge at each other. Blood gets the advantage with a knee to Chef's midsection. Chef is hunched over and Blood follows through by ramming Chef head first into the guardrail. Keeton is up and crawling behind Blood. He hits Blood with a low blow. Blood yelps in pain and grabs for his testicular area. Keeton hooks Blood in a headlock, using the guardrail for leverage, then jumps into the crowd, sending Blood facefirst into the guardrail with a bulldog. The first couple rows of fans have to clear out of the way. Storm is now back up and dives off of the ring apron into the crowd with a flying body press on Keeton. More rows of fans are forced to clear out of the way. Storm picks up a chair and raises it high above his head. It's taken away from behind him. He turns only to be caught in a huge bear hug by Two Ton.)

Dave: What's he doing here?

Jeff: Lunch time?

(Two Ton splashes Storm down with a huge belly to belly suplex. Storm screams in agony and tries crawl away from Two Ton but is unable to move hardly at all.)

Dave: OH MY GOD!  Mike Storm is DEAD!!!

(Keeton begins to stand but sees Two Ton and tries to run the other way. He jumps over the guardrail and right into the arms of Chef. Chef tosses Keeton back to Two Ton who delivers another belly to belly suplex on Keeton and right on top of Storm.)

Jeff: Now he's buried!

(Blood is now getting to his feet. Chef turns and his hit with a power slam by Blood. Blood whips Chef into the steel steps and follows through with a clothesline that sends Chef flipping upside down. In the crowd, Two Ton has brought out a steel ladder.

The crowd erupts.

Dave:  UH OH!!!

He lines the two cruiserweights up side by side and begins to climb the ladder. He gets to the top and pauses for a moment. 

Dave:  WHAT'S HE GONNA DO!?!?!

Jeff:  I SHUDDER TO THINK!!!

Two Ton leaps off the ladder and flips in mid-air.  Flash bulbs go off from around the arena hits a moonsault on the two motionless cruiserweights!

The crowd explodes!!

Crowd: PCW!!! PCW!!!! PCW!!!!  PCW!!! PCW!!! {CW!!! {CW!!! {CW!!! {CW!!!

Jeff: Two Ton is feasting on cruiserweights!

Dave: And the fans love the action!

Steven: I like getting action too! Boca uses that same move on me during foreplay!

(More slapping!)

(Blood rolls Chef back into the ring and attempts an irish whip. Chef reverses it. Bertha is up on the apron with the rolling pin. She cracks Blood over the head with the rolling pin. He stumbles right into Chef's grasp and THE FILET MIGNON! Chef with the cover. 123!)

Winner and still European Champion: The Chef                Time: 5:01

Dave: A cheap win.

Jeff: But a win none the less.

Dave: I don't think it's over yet.

(Chef lays Blood in front of one of the turnbuckles as Two Ton steps into the ring and begins to climb the turnbuckle. Brock Newbludd comes sprinting out from the back.)

Dave: Thank God Brock is here.

Jeff: He won't make a difference.He NEVER DOES!!!

He jumps up on the apron and begins pounding on Two Ton. Bertha blindsides him with the rolling pin.

The crowd begins throwing trash into the ring as Brock drops like a stone.

Two Ton climbs back up the turnbuckle and prepares for another moonsault.

Suddenly the crowd pops!

Dave: LOOK!!!!

Franky The Mook, baseball bat in hand, jumps out from the crowd and towards the ring.

Dave:  Franky the Mook is back in PCW!!!!

Two Ton launches himself off the turnbuckle.  Flash bulbs go off.  Just as Two Ton is about to land on Blood, The Mook pulls Blood out of the way!  Two Ton meets with the canvas face first. Bertha rushes at Franky with the rolling pin but Franky ducks and nails her with the bat sending her down.

The crowd explodes into a chorus of cheers.

Meanwhile, as fan hops the guardrail.  Security tries to stop him, but the man slides into the ring and begins to trade shots with Chef.

Jeff:  Who the hell is that?!?

Dave:  I dunno!

Franky nails a recovering Two Ton with the bat to the midsection and then breaks the bat across the back of Two Ton's head!

Dave:  OH MY GOD!!!

The crowd explodes!

The Crowd:  PCW!!! PCW!!! PCW!!! PCW!!! PCW!!!

The fan is gaining control of Chef. The fan then kicks Chef in the stomach then nails Chef with a nasty Pedigree/Dominator combo.

Dave:  JESUS!! Did you see that?!?

Jeff:  Do I look like Marley Matlin?

Dave:  She's deaf, not blind.

Jeff:  I don't care.  I'd still nail her!

Dave (sighing): Just when it looked like Chef and Two Ton were going to wreak havoc tonight, an old nemesis of Chef and a new one appear to save the day. The Mook is back and carried a big stick!

Steven:  (giggling)  Like my Boca!

The camera shifts to the ring, where the police have come into arrest the fan.  The crowd boos the appearance of the boys in blue.

Jeff:  That'll teach that guy for trying to gain some cheap heat!

Dave:  Either way, he didn't belong here.  Sometimes these fans drink one too many beers and get carried away.

Jeff:  How many fans do you know can execute a Pedigree/Dominator combo like that?  That guy was some sort of trained professional.

Dave:  We'll see if we can track more on this story.  We are going to head to a commercial!  We'll be right back!

(Commercial:  PCW is brought to you by Spam.  Spam:  The official food of crappy federation advertising departments everywhere.)

Dave:  Welcome back to Turmoil.  We are ready to head to the ring for our next match of the evening where the #1 Contender for the Extreme Title

Jeff:  That'd be the Homestead Extreme Title

Dave:  Whatever, Brock Newbludd is ready to take on Guy Leslie of DAMN.  Let's send it up to Clay.

("Sirius" by the Alan Parsons Project hits the PA and Guy Leslie begins to make his way to the ring.)

Clay: Now coming to the ring, representing DAMN and weighing in at 260 lbs., from Cleveland, Ohio, Guy Leslie!

("Search and Destroy" from Metallica hits the PA and Brock Newbludd begins to make his way to the ring.)

Clay: His opponent, representing the Outcasts. He is one half of the PCW Tag Team Champions and #1 contender for the Extreme Title. A 4 time Tag Team champion, Brock Newbludd!

(Brock hits the ring with a head of steam and spears GL to the mat. BN pounds away at GL's head as Speedy Riggs tries to pull him off of him. Riggs gets BN off and calls for the bell.)

Dave: Newbludd comes out fast and furious.

Steven: My Boca comes out the same way.

Jeff:  I'll take things I didn't need to know for $500, Alex.

(GL is up and ties up with BN. GL with a headlock. BN sends GL into the ropes. GL knocks BN down with a shoulder block. GL back into the ropes. BN lays down on his stomach, GL over the top of him. GL comes back and BN jumps over him. GL bounces off the ropes again but is met with a superkick from BN! Goes for the pin. Riggs counts, 12..GL kicks out! BN picks GL up. GL rakes BN's eyes and punches him in the face a couple times. BN is dazed and backing up into the turnbuckle. GL irish whips BN to the opposite turnbuckle. BN hits the turnbuckle with such impact that he flips over it and onto the floor. GL follows pursuit. 1.GL grabs BN and irish whips him into the ring post..2.GL goes for a clothesline but BN ducks.3.BN kicks him in the gut and DDT's him on the floor.4.Both men are down.5.BN is getting to his feet.6.He rolls under the bottom rope to stop the count and then back outside the ring.1.he stands on the apron and waits for GL to get up.2.Once he's up BN leaps off the apron and nails GL with a missile dropkick.3.BN grabs a steel chair from ringside.4.GL is up but is cracked over the head with the steel chair and sent back to the floor.5.BN throws the chair on GL and climbs back into the ring.6.7.GL starts to get back to his feet and moves toward the ring.8.BN goes for a baseball slide on GL.9.GL pulls BN out and nails a thunderous clothes line.)

Dave: What an exchange between these two superstars! Brock Newbludd showed why he deserves that Extreme Title shot.

Jeff: What's even better is that he did it to that DAMN idiot!

(He slides back into the ring to stop the count and then back out. He rolls BN back into the ring. He pulls BN up and whips him into the turnbuckle, BN charges back at GL, ducks a clothesline and hits him with a side suplex. He covers GL. 12..GL kicks out!

Steven:  LOOK!!!

"Return of the Mack" hits the PA system "The Mack" Ed Novak with "Bob" in hand appears at the top of the ramp, followed by Mini-Mack, who is carrying a foot stool, which has been wrapped in barbed wire and studded with mail.  The duo with "It" then begins to make their way down to the ring.)

The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos.

Dave: (disgusted) Not more Media interference.

( Newbludd spots him and tells him to come on in. GL is recovering behind him. GL rolls Newbludd up. 123!)

Winner: Guy Leslie            Time: 4:24

(BN gets up furious about the loss and runs up the ramp and after Novak and Mini-Mack, who have disappeared backstage.)

Jeff: Nooooooooooooooo! Not another win for DAMN! That Doug Troy faction needs to be cursed to hell by The Reverend!

Dave:  I bet I know who wrote this match based on that statement.

Jeff:  Actually, VP-JC needs to be cursed to hell for dumping this match on such short notice.

Dave:  Well, in the immortal words of Pete Clemenza, "Oh, JC, we won't be seein' him anyamore"

Jeff:  Bene!

Dave: Well, the Mack just cost Brock Newbludd a victory.

Jeff: Damn The Mack! May he be forced to job to Steven for giving DAMN a victory.

Steven: I have a great job for him to do!   Remember, I broke the story he was gay way back when.  Check the archives.

Dave:  That's quite OK.  We are going to keep it right here as two impressive newcomers to PCW will do battle in the ring.  Let's send it up to Clay.

("My Hero" by the Foo Fighters hits the PA system as "The Idol" Jacob Jackson makes his way to the ring.)

Clay: Making his way to the ring, representing Five Star Five, from Salt Lake City, weighing 229 lbs., "The Idol" Jacob Jackson!

("My Way" by Limp Bizkit hits the PA and Sean Matthews begins to head toward the ring.)

Clay: His opponent, from Sacramento, California, weighing 265 lbs., Sean Matthews!

(Matthews slides under the ropes and ducks a right hand from Jackson. He returns with his own right hand. He hits another and another backing Jackson up to the ropes. SM clotheslines JJ over the top rope. Jackson lands on his feet but slaps the apron is frustration. The ref holds SM back as JJ walks around the ring. He stops at the stairs and begins to climb back in the ring. SM and JJ lock up. JJ knees SM in the groin area causing SM to hunch over. JJ begins to pound on SM's back with hard double axe handles. SM stumbles to his knees. JJ hits the ropes behind SM, comes back and flips over SM grabbing his head with hands and planting SM face first into the mat. SM holds his face in pain. JJ makes a quick cover. 12..SM kicks out easily.

Dave:  Do you feel the Five Star Five has lived up to the hype.

Jeff:  Well, Steve Jackson has washed out, but the rest have held their own.

Dave:  What chance do you give Mike Marvelous tonight against Meanstreak.

Jeff:  Marvelous has about as much chance of beating Streak as Steven does of bedding me tonight.

Steven:  Go Mike Marvelous!

JJ pulls SM up and scoop slams him back down. He bounces off the ropes and hits a leg drop across SM's throat. Another pin. 12..SM kicks out easily. JJ begins to pull SM up, but is caught with a few elbows to the gut. SM bounces off the ropes, JJ on his stomach, SM runs over him and hits the other ropes, JJ jumps over SM. JJ attempts a monkey toss, but SM blocks it and nails a Russian leg sweep on JJ. SM pulls JJ up hooks him and hits a belly to belly suplex. SM with a pin. 12..JJ easily kicks out. SM stays on the attack whipping JJ into the turnbuckle. SM follows in but is met by a boot to the face from JJ. JJ jumps to the second rope and nails a bulldog on the unaware SM. 12..SM kicks out. JJ goes for the second rope again and attempts a leg drop but SM moves. Both me are on the mat as the ref counts. 123SM and JJ are both pulling themselves up with the ropes4JJ is to his feet stopping the count. SM is now on his feet. JJ charges at him but is back body dropped over the top rope and to the floor by SM. SM tries to go outside the ring but the ref pulls him back in. SM is in the face of the ref. JJ is slowly getting back to his feet and climbs up to the apron behind the unaware SM. He pushes SM into the ref. Their heads connect and the ref is down hurt. SM a little woozy turns to be hooked in a suplex position by JJ. JJ lifts SM up and suplexes him from in the ring to the floor. SM is down. JJ jumps off the apron and nails an elbow to the chest of SM. He grabs a steel chair from the announcers table.

Dave:  HEY!  Give me that back!

Jeff:  Ha ha!! Dave has to stand and deliver!

Steven:  I like to stand and receive!!!

SM is now slowly standing. JJ raises the chair above his head but is caught with several puches to his stomach from SM. JJ drops the chair him. SM is up and still punching at JJ. He whips JJ into the steel steps. JJ flies over the top of them on impact. He begins to stand right back up but SM is charging at him with the steel chair. SM jumps on the steps for leverage and then pounces on JJ with the chair across his skull. JJ stands for a moment woozy. SM spins and nails JJ with the chair again. JJ is down and bloodied. Jake Keeton comes sprinting out from the back.

Dave:  What's he doing here!?!

Steven:  It's not what you know, but who you know!

SM notices him but it is too late. Keeton kicks SM in the gut and nails a release dragon suplex on him. Keeton climbs up onto the apron, jumps on the second rope and hits a moonsault on SM. He rolls SM back into the ring and begins to try and revive JJ. JJ begins to get up slowly. Keeton helps the groggy Jackson up the steel steps. JJ begins to instinctively climb up the turnbuckle. He balances on top and nails a flying legdrop on SM. JJ with the cover. The ref is still down for the accidental head butt but tries to crawl over for the count. 12.SM barely kicks out! Keeton is up on the apron screaming at the ref for the slow count. The ref now almost recovered stands and warns Keeton off. Keeton continues to argue. JJ pulls SM up. JJ tries to punch SM but it is blocked. SM kicks JJ in the gut and nails THE FRAGILE!  Keeton pushes the ref but the ref pushes back harder sending Keeton off of the apron.

Jeff:  Ha!  Keeton just got punked out by the referee!

The ref turns to see SM covering JJ. 123!)

Winner: Sean Matthews     Time: 6:54

Dave:  So Shawn Matthews remains undefeated in PCW with a hard fought victory over "The Idol" Jacob Jackson.  We need to head to a commercial!  We'll be right back!

(Commercial:  PCW is brought to you Poser Factory.  Just when you thought you had friends, you realize they are all just Posers.)

Dave:  Welcome back.  I am being told that inclimate weather has

Suddenly, "Rollin'" by Limp Biscuit hits the PA system.

Dave:  WHOA!!! That is Kurt Ragnarok's music!  He isn't scheduled to be out here until after the street fight!

The camera shifts to the entrance as the golden haird K-Rock storms out of the back and towards the ring, with microphone in hand.  There is a mixed reaction from the crowd. 

Shortly after K-Rock emerges from the tunnel, PCW Personnel Director shimmies her way out of the back.  The auburn haired siren is wearing a flower print halter top, a skin tight red, pleather skirt and a pair of thigh high boots.  In her hand she carries a clip board.

K-Rock slides into the ring and hops up onto the turnbuckle with his arms raised high.   He then criss-crosses the ring until he stands atop every turnbuckle.  Once again the reaction is mixed to the appearance of this mega-superstar, but the reaction, though mixed is certainly vocal.

Reagan finally makes it to the ring, and slithers between the ropes.  She pulls out a microphone and waits for K-Rock's music to finish.  When it does, she raises the microphone to her full lips and begins to speak.

Jane:  Ladies and gentleman, I hold here in my hand (extending the clip board) a four month contract for the services of former GSE and JEW World Champion Kurt Ragnarok.

This time, the boos out number the cheers.  Again, the reception is loud.  A small "DT  chant" begins in the crowd.

Jeff:  These fans don't know real talent.

Jane:  Now, Kurt, you have looked over the contract.  Do you have any questions?

Kurt Ragnarok puts his hand on his chin and looks to be in deep thought.  He then raises the microphone and begins to speak.

KR:   Yeah.  Where is the red carpet to welcome me and why has Nelson sent the office blow job machine out to conduct this signing.

Jane frowns and looks at KR with a look of hatred.

The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos.

Dave:  He's a jackass.

Jeff:  YeahIt's great, ain't it!?!

KR:  You know, had I not been blackballed by the union of owners, I wouldn't even be in the cracker jack federation.

K-Rock snatches the clip board out of Jane's hand.

KR:  I suppose since I can't sink any lower.well, CCW and XCW would be lower, but not by much.

The crowd boos.

KR:  (continuing)  I have no choice.  Now, pull that vibrating pen of yours out of your ham-lined taco and hand it over.

Jane's jaw opens wide in shock and disapproval.

Jeff:  HA!!! He said ham-lined taco!

KR:  Your mouth would have to open wider than that, honey.  Now hand over the pen.

Dave:  This guy is a piece of (bleep)!

Jeff:  Yeah.It's great, ain't it!

Jane hands K-Rock the pen.  K-Rock looks over the contract, then files through the pages.  He gets to the last page and prepares to sign.but is interrupted as "Brainless" by the Urge hits the PA system.

Dave:  LOOK!!!

The camera suddenly shifts to the top of the tunnel, as Doug Troy, Guy Leslie and the PCW World Heavyweight Champion Frisco emerge from the backstage area.

Dave:  DAMN is crashing K-Rock's signing party!

Jeff:  Of course they are crashing the party.  It's not as if they ever get invited to any!

The crowd immediately reacts in a resounding explosion of cheers as the three members of DAMN stand on the top of the ramp.  After a moment, Doug Troy pulls out a microphone and signals for the guys in the production truck to cut his music.  The oblige him.

The crowd is behind Doug Troy all the way.

The Crowd:  DT!!! DT!!! DT!!! DT!!!

DT asks the crowd to quell their euphoria, and they do.  He then raises the microphone to speak.

DT:  Hey there, K-Rock.  Before you sign that contract, I figure you should know that I am gonna make your life a living hell here in PCW.  In fact, I can promise you won't have a clean ending to a match during your tenure here in PCW.

K-Rock looks out at DT and smirks.

K-Rock:  I wouldn't have it any other way, brotha.

DT:  I ain't your brother, but this Sunday, I can promise you one thing.  I am gonna be your daddy, or maybe you'll be calling out me uncle, begging me to stop beating you like a common law wife living in a trailer park.

K-Rock exits the ring, clip board and microphone in hand and begins to walk towards the three DAMN members.

K-Rock:  Well, if your feeling like you wanna go, why wait until Sunday.  Let's do this right now!

The crowd cheers.

Dave:  WHOA!!!

Jeff:  K-Rock is one tough dude, but I don't know how smart it is for him to take on three guys.

All three DAMN members begin walking towards Ragnarok.

Dave:  LOOK!!!! OH NO!!!

Suddenly out of the back run Carl Cash, LeShawn Spade and The Show Stoppa Scott Hunta, all with chairs in hand.  K-Rock charges at DAMN, who have their attention set firmly upon the former multiple time world champion.

The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos, but by the time DAMN figures out what is going on.

BANG!!!

BANG!!!

BANG!!!

All three men are dropped with nasty chair shots to the back of the head.  The members of 24k then begin laying the boots to DAMN.  K-Rock comes over and joins them.

Dave:  This whole thing was a set up.  K-Rock was in cahoots with 24K all the time!

Jeff:  It's not what ya know

Steven:  but who you know!!!

24K continue stomping on the three members of DAMN.  LeShawn Spade picks up a woozy Guy Leslie and nails him with the Ace of Spade, while Carl Cash demolishes the PCW World Champion with a Platinum Bomb to the steel ramp.  Finally, Kurt Ragnarok picks up DT and nails him with the Kurtosphere to the cold, hard steel.

Dave:  This is horrible!!! Someone call security!

The fans are getting irate.  They are throwing garbage at K-Rok and 24K. Scott Hunta catches a full cup of beer to the side of the head.

Kurt Ragnarok kneels down and picks up a DT, who is bleeding from his nose.  He then picks up his microphone.

KR:  You know Dougie, I got news for you.  K-Rock is in PCW, and it is your life that is going to be a living hell. 

Ragnarok takes his pen and wipes some fresh blood from DT's face.  He then uses the blood to sign his PCW contract.  He then throws down the clip board with the contract onto DT's unmoving body as "Rollin'" from Limp Bizkit hits the PA system.  Rags and the members of 24k high five each other and walk to the back, amidst a stream of garbage and a chorus of boos.

Dave:  This is disgusting.  Ragnarok is a total piece of filth.

Jeff:  Yeah.it's great aint it?!?

Dave: (disgusted) We need to go to a commercial.  When we return, the 10 man street fight between Media and Asylum will go down.  We'll be right back!

(Commercial:  PCW is sponsored by Etch-A-Sketch)

Dave:  Welcome back to Turmoil.  I have been informed that our street fight has been moved in doors due to the 50 mph winds, lightning and pouring rain outside.

Jeff:  Match writer (bleeped) up and wrote the match inside, huh?

Dave:  Yep

All three announcers let out a collective sigh.

Welcome Back my Friends blasts throughout the arena. The members of Media make there way out to the extreme dismay of the fans that toss particles of trash at the members of Media

Clay Clayborne: Now making there way to the ring at this time, representing Media...Ed Novak, Chris Allen, Jon Kano, Chet King and Tyler Nelson!! Crazy Train by Ozzy Osborne hits the sound system as TCM, Y2W, Phoenix, Miyagawa and Bang Davenport head to the ring. Clay Clayborne: Now making their way to the ring.... Trashcan Man, Pat Walsh, Phoenix, Miyagawa & Bang Davenport!!!

Suddenly the Media stable mates rush and meet the Asylum in the runway. TCM and Tyler Nelson clash with one another.

Walsh and Ed Novak begin to do battle. Novak grabs Y2W and tosses him off the incline off the rampway onto the steel guardrail. Novak leaps off and crashes down with a double axe handle to the back of Y2W. Novak grabs Y2W and smashes his head off the guardrail. Y2W stumbles off toward the backstage area with Novak in pursuit.

TCM takes Tyler Nelson down with a double leg pick up and starts pounding down onto Tyler Nelson. Chet King quickly runs over and knocks TCM off the CEO.

Chet has no time to celebrate as he is scooped up from behind and reverse body slammed on the runway by Bang Davenport. Chet King rolls off the ramp onto the floor. Bang quickly hops down and begins chasing after Chet king who tries to evade Bang.

Chris Allen and Miyagawa have battled through the entranceway and are fighting backstage. Chris Allen has Miya on his shoulder. HCA runs Miya headfirst into the concrete wall. He then drops Miya face first on the concrete.

Phoenix and Jon Kano are fighting on the stage. Phoenix is nailing Kano with a series of stiff shots that are driving Kano back to the edge of the stage. Kano is dazed, rocking back and forth on the edge of the stage. Phoenix backs up and charges at Kano but Kano ducks dodging the wild right hand of Phoenix. Phoenix stops just shorts of falling and balances himself. Suddenly Kano grabs Phoenix and delivers an inverted Russian leg sweep of the stage.

Jeff: That's the pyro control table!!!!

The two men crash down onto a large series of controls by the stage. Sparks suddenly a series of pyrotechnic blasts erupt along the stage.

Dave:  OH MY GOD!!!

As TCM and Tyler Nelson begin to battle again the pyros begin to run down the ramp way one of them shoots up behind TCM and ignites his T-shirt on fire. TCM frantically drops to the runway and rolls down it to put the fire out.

Jeff:  HAH!!! If you play with fire!!!

Tyler Nelson who dropped to the floor like there was an air raid. Nelson pulls his head from under his arms. He looks around to see all the chaos has halted. He hops up and goes after TCM who is pulling the remains of his shirt off. Nelson quickly nails TCM with a knee that topples him against the ring apron. Nelson starts bashing away on TCM with a fury. Tyler Nelson grabs TCM by the back of the head and sends him crashing headfirst into the steel ring steps.

We are suddenly taken to the parking lot of the arena. Ed Novak has Walsh pressed up against the side of a white Mercedes Benz. Novak winds up and releases a vicious right hand. Pat Walsh quickly slides out of the punch's path. Novak's hand goes right through the window of the Mercedes. Walsh steps back and watches Novak pull his hand from the window to see splinters of glass poking out from his sliced flesh. Walsh charges at Novak and nails with a running lariat that knocks Novak onto the hood of the car. Walsh climbs up onto the hood of the car he grabs Novak and pulls him to his feet. Suddenly Ed Novak hits Walsh with a shot to the midsection. Ed pushes Walsh onto the roof of the car. Novak hooks Walsh in for a suplex on the hood of the car. Walsh blocks it and suplexes Novak off the hood of the car onto the hood of the car of the Lexus parked next to the Mercedes. Novak grabs at his back then rolls off the hood with a thud to the cement.

Suddenly in the background, a police car screeches through the shot and into the garage door of the arena.

Jeff:  What the hell is that all about?!?

Dave:  I dunno!

Phoenix and Jon Kano are starting to show signs of life. Kano is on his feet. Kano pulls Phoenix up amongst the mess from the control tables. Kano tosses Phoenix through the curtain leading beneath the stage. Phoenix crumbles to his feet. Kano stalks Phoenix. Kano grabs a cable from beneath the stage and wraps it around the throat of Phoenix and begins strangling him.

Bang Davenport and Chet King are in the upper rows of the arena. Chet king is getting the better of Bang Davenport. Chet is slamming Bang's head off the back wall off the arena.

Marx: He may be knocking some sense into Bang!

Chet turns and tosses Bang down the long row of steps. We see Bang go flying down the steps, bouncing along before coming to a sickening crash when he reaches the wall of the balcony. Chet King raises his arms in the air but is suddenly blasted by all kinds of trash particles from the fans. Chet covers up and makes his way down toward Bang.

HCA picks Miya up and slings back first into a wall.  He grabs Miya by the back of the head and opens the door to the Men's restroom.  He launches Miya inside and follows him in.  Miya pulls himself to his feet and slyly reaches up to the soap dispenser by the sink.  HCA stalks in to begin pounding on Miya, but Miya flings a handful of soap into his eyes.  HCA staggers back with a scream, clawing at his eyes.  Miya reaches up and pulls a paper towel dispenser off the wall and clobbers HCA over the head with it.

Back in the parking lot, Walsh has climbed up on the roof of the car and leaps off, dropping a leg across Novak's chest.  He pulls Novak up to his feet and slings him back first into a car.  He charges at Novak, but Novak drops down and drop toe holds Walsh face first into the car door.  Both men lie on the ground, groaning.

Kano finally stops strangling Phoenix and picks him up.  He hooks Phoenix for the Kanoplex, but Phoenix throws back and elbow and catches him in the face, then grabs his head and delivers a thunderous DDT onto the concrete floor.

Back in the arena, we head to the ring, where Tyler Nelson and Trashcan Man are fighting on the outside.

Dave:  LOOK!!!

Jeff:  What the?!?!?

The camera shifts to the entryway where the police car we viewed earlier has just squealed into the arena and comes barreling down the aisle as "Paradise City" by Guns and Roses hits the loud speakers.

The car slows down toward the ring and stops feet before it.

Trashcan Man and Tyler Nelson stop brawling for a moment, wondering what the hell is going on.  Suddenly the fan who attacked The Chef earlier, hops out of the car and onto the hood of the police car.  This time the blond haired, blue eyed "fan"  is wearing wrestling gear, consisting of gold metallic pants, knee pads and elbow pads.

Dave:  Wait a minute.that's.that's..

The fan drops down off the car and charges Nelson.  Nelson ducks a clothesline, but the Fan stops and reverse kicks Nelson square in the gut, then follows with a DDT into the steel ring steps.

Jeff:  THAT'S NO FAN!!! THAT IS TONY STECCHINO!!!! FWL NET'S "HEEL OF THE YEAR" FOR 1998 AND 1999!!!

Dave:  What about 2000?

Jeff:  They can't give it to him every year or it would look like favortism!

Trashcan Man comes over to offer his hand to Stecchino for taking out Nelson.  Stecchino offers his hand in return, but then pulls TCM in tight, kicks him in the gut then nails the PCW Continental Champion with POWER BETWEEN MY LEGS (pedigree/dominator combo)  Trashcan Man's head hits the concrete with a sickening thud.

Dave:  OH MY GOD!!! TONY STECCHINO HAS JUST TAKEN OUT THE PCW CONTINENTAL CHAMPION AND THE PCW TV CHAMPION/CEO!!!  TONY STECCHINO IS HERE IN PCW!!!

Stecchino stands over the fallen Nelson and TCM and begins pointing at each of them in rapid succession.

Dave:  He is doing eeny, meeny, miny, mo!

Stecchino finally stops on Trashcan Man.  He picks up the body of Nelson and drapes over the body of Trashcan Man.  Referee Speedy Riggs makes the count1.2.3!!!!

Winners:  Media                              Time:  !0:01

Dave:  TONY STECCHINO HAS JUST HANDED A VICTORY TO MEDIA, BUT YOU CAN BE SURE ONCE THE BOSS SEES THE TAPE THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!

Jeff:  I am liking Stecchino already!

Dave:  Figures.

Steven:  He is kind of sexy

Stecchino begins arguing with Speedy Riggs that he should be raising his hand in victory.  Riggs refuses, so Stecchino smiles and says it's okthen kicks him on the gut and executes THE POWER BETWEEN MY LEGS on the small referee.  Riggs is out cold.

The crowd boos like there is no tomorrow.

Dave:  Tony Stecchino is out of control!!!  We need to head to a commercial.  When we return, we will head to the ring for our main event of the evening.

The camera focuses in on the proud smile of Tony Stecchino as he takes a look at his handyworkthen it fades to a commercial.

(Commercial:  PCW is brought to you by Tampexthe official tampon of (bleeps) like Shawn Cage.)

Dave:  Welcome back to Turmoil.  We are set to head to the ring for our main event of the evening, so let's send it up to Clay Clayborne!

("Money" by Pink Floyd plays as 1/5 of the Five Star Five, Mike Marvelous, along with his midget look-a-like mini-Mike, makes his way out.)

Clay: Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Mini-Mike, from Nova Scotia, Canada, at a weight of 243 pounds.......MIKE MARVELOUS

("Supernova Goes Pop" by Powerman 5000 hits as the man everyone seems to fear, Meanstreak, makes his bone-chilling entrance.)

Clay: His opponent, at a weight of 345 pounds.......MEANSTREAK

Jeff: 50 bucks says Marvelous doesn't last two minutes in there with Meanstreak.

Dave: You're on! After what I saw him do to Meanstreak last time, we could see a huge upset here.

Steven: Speaking of upset, Boca didn't return my calls last night.

MM jumps all over Streak feeling that that will be the only way he can do anything to the monster. MM pounds on the back of Streak and has him caught up in the ropes. MM goes to whip him into the ropes, but Streak reverses. He tries catching MM with a short arm clothesline, but MM ducks under it. When Streak turns around to face MM, Marvelous begins punching away at him. All this does is piss Meanstreak off. MM tries bouncing off the ropes for a greater effect, but Streak just grabs MM by his throat. he then lifts him high in the air, but MM counters with a kick to the little monster.

Jeff: The nut shot DOES NOT WORK against Meanstreak!

Suddenly the crowd begins to boo as Mini-Mack runs out of the back.  Mini-Mike sees him and the two midget look-alikes meet in the middle of the aisle and begin to brawl.  Just as suddenly as Mini-Mack appeared, so returns Tony Stecchino, rushing out of the back.

Mini-Mike sees him and waddles off, but Mini-Mack is not so lucky.  Stecchino grabs the midget by the seat of his pants and carries him to the ringside area.

Dave:  What's he gonna do?!?

Stecchino carries the struggling midget to the announce table.

Dave:  UH OH!!!

Jeff:  Punching out!

Stecchino hops ontop of the announce table as the announce team bails out.  Stecchino then turns the midget upside down puts his head between his legs.

Dave:  (still apparently able to call action)  OH MY GOD!!!  HE'S VERTICALLY CHALLENGED FOR GOD SAKE!!!

Stecchino smiless, then proceeds to piledrive the midget through the announce table, much to the dismay of the crowd.

Jeff:  Stecchino is COOL!!!

Dave:  He has no soul!!!

Jeff:  That just makes him cooler in my book!

Back in the ring, instead of just being satisfied by hitting Streak in the nads, MM follows it up with a big DDT. He then makes a cover on Streak, 1.......2....Meanstrek kicks out with a vengence. MM kicks away at Streak as he gets up. Streak still gets to his feet like he always does. MM goes to whip Streak into the ropes, but it's reversed. Streak tries catching MM with a big boot, but MM slides under it. He then locks Streak in a sleeper from behind. Streak feels none of this and just flips MM over his head. MM, however, lands on his feet and catches Streak with a jawbreaker. Streak reels back into the ropes. MM gets up and hits a running clothesline on Streak. Streak goes over the top, somewhat, and gets caught in a hangman. MM thinks about letting him free, but decides that he'll let the ropes choke the life out of him instead of risking a beatdown at the hands of Streak.

Dave: Meanstreak is caught in a hangman. How long can he survive!!?

Jeff: Knowing Streak, he's probably no-selling the whole DAMN thing.

Steven: You said "DAMN", hehe.

Dave: Speaking of DAMN, how's your mom doing?

Jeff and Kern go at it at the announce table for a few brief moments. They stop as soon as Streak does something.

Kern and Marx: OH MY GOD!

Meanstreak uses his free hands to grab the top rope. Then, with all his monsterly strength, he actually RIPS the top rope off to get himself free. MM and referee Buzz Meacham have both dropped their jaws in disbelief.

Jeff: It's official! Meanstreak is NOW unstoppable.

Meanstreak catches his breath on the outside for a moment, then climbs back into the now 2-roped ring. As Streak comes back in, MM comes up with an idea. Once Streak is in, MM charges at Streak. He goes for Off the Market, but as he goes for the spear portion of it, he just bounces off of Streak and ends up on the mat. He immediately grabs his ugly looking shoulder.

Dave: Mike Marvelous looks hurt. He could have a seperated or dislocated shoulder. Perhaps a hurt collarbone.

Steven: Who can stop him?

Jeff: CLYDE!!!

Dave and Steven share a laugh. Inside the ring, MM is down and in extreme pain. Streak just looks down at him and, instead of feeling bad for him, he just does as he always does; pounds his chest and roars to a mild pop. Streak then lifts MM up and drops him with AT DEATH'S DOOR!!!

Jeff: You can add broken neck to that list Dave, hehe.

Streak drops MM like a bad habit. The monster then pounds his chest, roars, and places his foot on the chest of MM to symbolize a pin, 1.......2........3

WINNER: Meanstreak

Dave:  So Meanstreak picks up a win and a ton of momentum going into Friday's #1 contender's match?!?!

Jeff:  Can anyone stop Meanstreak?!?!

Dave:  I dunno!  But we are out of time!!!  We will see you this Friday for Fusion!!! Good night everyone!!!

Meanstreak stands over the grotesquely wounded Mike Marvelous, pounds his chest and lets out a roarin the background, intermixed in the crowd, appear to be five men wearing stockings covering their faces.or were there?  As the fans at home squint to get a better look, the scene has already faded to black.