Tuesday Turmoil for September 26, 2000
Live from Madison Square Garden
New York City
A video recap is shown of last Friday's PCW debut program. Then, a shot of the outside of Madison Square Garden is shown, and on the lit billboard is an advertisement for Tuesday Turmoil.
The scene changes to inside the arena, where the crowd is going wild and pyros and lights are going off everywhere.
Dave Kern: Hello everyone, and welcome to this premier edition of PCW Tuesday Turmoil! I am Dave Kern and am joined, as always, by Steven Smith. Steven, I mean, wow, what can we say about the debut of PCW television last week?
Steven Smith: It was an incredible night for PCW and all of wrestling. It shows that even though the PCW is new, we are chock full of young and talented wrestlers who are willing to work and make their mark.
Dave: So true, Steven. On tonight's program we will feature eight, count em eight, first round matches in the PCW Heavyweight Title tournament designed by the President of Primetime Championship Wrestling, Professor Herbert D. Dorkiman.
Steven: That's right, the "big, little man" came out and said he was going to take control of the madness that had quickly engulfed the PCW booking situation and scheduled this tournament. The winner of this tournament will be determined at PCW Dawning on October 22nd and will be the first ever PCW World Heavyweight Champion.
Dave: Ok, we have 10 matches on the schedule for this evening, so let's head immediately to the ring for the first of our Heavyweight title tourney matches.
Steven: Wait a minute...look at the entranceway. Who is that?
Dave: Oh for God's sake its Jason Chase.
Steven: What's that sissy doing out of the hospital?
Dave: Maybe he was released, but he sure does look beat up.
The camera pans over to show that Chase is on crutches and has a bandaged head.
Dave: What I don't understand is why is he on crutches he just took a chair shot to the head.
Steven: Well, when you are a sissy like Chase, which bones made of crystal and a jaw made of glass, I suppose its easy to get hurt.
Chase slowly makes his way down the aisle. The crowd is booing him and an "Asshole!" chant begins. He gets to the ring and is helped in by two attendants. He motions for a microphone and a staff member brings him one.
Jason Chase: How dare you boo me. What have I done to you? Everyone was begging Chase to join the PCW. Everyone wanted Chase to help the PCW out, to bring a BIG name into this federation. And what do they do once Chase is in here? They boo me and call me an asshole. . Well, I've had enough of this crap. I am not going to risk my body just to please you low life, scumbag fans. Uh-Uh. No way. Chase ain't doing none of that. I'm going to reluctantly take my leave of absence, a leave that a man by the name of Axe Nazeem has forced upon me by his criminal actions last Friday in Atlantic City. So tonight, you won't see Chase wrestle... Tonight Chase will just sit back relax and TRY to enjoy this miserable circus that they call the PCW.
Chase throws the mic and exits the ring, crutches and all with the help of two attendants and makes his way to front row, and grabs a seat.
Steven: Chase is certainly a whore for airtime.
Dave: That would be putting it mildly. Let's head to our first match.
"Sad but True" rips out over the PA system as TTD exits the tunnel. A video package of TTD on his bike and in action appears on the Jumbotron. An explosion appears at the top of the ramp as TTD surveys the crowd blankly. Then he smirks and begins to walk slowly down the ramp to the ring. When he reaches the ring, he climbs to the top turnbuckle and looks out across the crowd.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from New York City, weighing in at 300lbs, The Third Degree!!!
"Break Stuff" plays as Lisa Walks out and stands at the entrance the lights go out as blue strobe lights flicker on the entrance blue and white pyro shoots up and down the ramp as "The Idol" Cody Townsend joins Lisa and they walk to the ring. Townsend slides in and then helps Lisa in, then Townsend takes a seat in the corner.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at 256lbs, "The Idol" Cody Townsend!!!
CT and TTD enter the ring and referee Buzz Meacham checks TTD's boots for illegal objects. The bell rings and the match is on. TTD shoots in and slips behind CT. CT quickly reverses this and locks an arm twist on TTD and stomps down on TTD's toes while tightening his hold on the biker's arm. Buzz Meacham comes over to break the hold. Lisa jumps up on the ring apron and Meacham heads in that direction to admonish her. When Meacham turns his back, Townsend goes for a rake to the eyes. TTD stumbles towards the corner blinded. Lisa jumps down from the apron. CT rushes over and takes TTD with a running lariat. He follows up by pressing his boot to the back of the head of the downed biker, using the ropes as leverage. Referee Buzz Meacham breaks the hold and draws flack CT and Lisa. Lisa jumps back up onto the ring apron and once again Buzz Meacham heads over there to admonish her. During this period of non-referee supervision, CT pulls out a pair of brass knucks and begins to pound TTD with them. Then, suddenly, the lights go out. After a long five seconds, they go back on, and we see that and unconscious TTD has been placed on top of an also knocked out CT. Buzz Meacham looks confused but has no other choice. 1....2....3!!
Winner TTD Time: 3:01
Dave: What happened?
Steven: I dunno. Meanstreak again?
Dave: WAAAY too subtle for Meanstreak. We will have to ask Monica or Cal to get to the bottom of that. Speaking of Cal, I am told we have Cal Seaver standing by with Scott Naket. Cal?
Cal Seaver: Thank you Dave! I am indeed here with Scott "The Hott One" Naket. Scott, tonight, you will face off against Prophesy in the first round of the Heavyweight Title tournament. Any predictions?
Scott Naket: What kind of stupid ass question is that. You know what, Cal, it really doesn't matter if I move onto the next round. The real question is how far can Scott Naket move on to after the first round. This bum named Prophesy doesn't talk, and hasn't done a thing, while I cut in ring promos, and argue with a guy that calls himself Rev Bob. No Cal, tonight's a cakewalk, and for the sake of PCW, they better hope that I don't make this place a mess, when I become their first, Heavyweight champion!
Naket storms off.
Cal: Scott Naket is a man on a mission tonight, guys. Back to you.
Dave: Naket certainly seems focused. (We will Rock you hits the PA system) Well it looks like our basketball vs hockey grudge match is going to begin.
Steven: Crossover athletes never make it as wrestlers.
Dave: That's not true!! Look at Goldberg, The Rock, Darren Drozdov
Steven: (Interrupting)...Steve "Mongo" McMichael, Dennis Rodman, Shaq, Karl Malone, Joe Lewis, Kevin Greene...
(OOC: This will be the only time I EVER will do an OOC on a card. Say a prayer or give Darren Drozdov a thought today. He and I grew up together in Mays Landing, NJ and I consider him a close friend. He has had two terrible streaks of luck in life. Thanks.)
Dave: Ok, I concede that it is a hit or miss situation with crossover athletes. Just a note to the viewers at home, this IS NOT a tournament match. Brown is scheduled to face The Ghost on Friday night at Fusion.
A red goal light circles just above the center of the ring as "We Will Rock You" by Queen starts playing. Troy Brown comes out wearing a full Toronto Maple Leafs uniform, skates, stick and the rest included. After he climbs into the ring, he takes his skates and helmet off, and drops his stick and gloves.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 228lbs, Troy Brown!!!
Lights go out in the Arena...a pause of a few seconds then "Last Resort" by Papa Roach blares from the dark. Pryos light up the Ramp and Ring as Boda walks slowly to the ring. When he reaches the ring, he grabs the top rope and jumps over it and poses with both arms out and above head.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, hailing from Orlando, Florida weighing in at 350lbs, Chris "Boda" Sloboda!!!
Boda comes to the ring, and referee Speedy Riggs orders him to leave his basketball outside the ring. Boda mouths off then fires it at Troy Brown, pelting the hockey "legend" in the chest with it. TB, goes nuts and charges Boda. The bell rings and the match is on. Boda catches TB with a big boot which sends TB reeling towards the corner. The former Orlando Magic stiff makes follows up and begins to lay a series of knife edge chops to TB, but TB's thick Maple Leaf jersey takes away most of the effects of the blow. Finally, TB pushes his way out of the corner, entangling his own arms with Boda's. TB gets his right arm loose and begins pounding away on Boda's ribs, then TB gives him two shots to the head. Boda staggers back into the corner. TB follows up with a left then climbs the ropes to get a better angle to punch at to the big man's head. TB gives him a couple of more shots, then grabs the bottom of Boda's Orlando Magic jersey and pulls it up over the Boda's head, entangling his arms. Boda seems baffled by this hockey brawling maneuver and flails wildly to free himself, but can not. TB whips him into the ropes on the opposite side, Boda comes off, Troy goes for the Slapshot, but misses. Boda continues to the opposite rope, bounces off then charges at TB. This time TB does not miss the Slapshot, as he lands a huge uppercut to the head of Boda. Boda goes down in a heap. Brown makes the cover....1....2....3!!
Winner: Troy Brown Time 2:46
Steven: Jesus, that match sucked ass! Those two guys bite!
Dave: Well, speaking of two guys biting and sucking ass, when we return, Peter Puffer will take on Blood in a first round tourney match! We will be right back!
(Commercial: Purchase the debut edition of PCW Friday Fusion on video for only 37.95 and relive all the fun and excitement! Call 1-800-CALL-PCW today! Operators are standing by!)
Dave: Ok, our next match is about to begin!
"What I Really Want" by the Spice Girls blares over the PA system and out walks Peter Puffer. The fans boo and chant "FAGGOT, FAGGOT, FAGGOT!" As Puffer walks down waving the Gay Pride flag, and his manager Twink parades a gay rights sign. He walks to the ring as his pyros go off: Light green, pink, yellow, and purple pyros shoot from the ring posts, and around the Jumbotron. Puffer walks up to the ring and steps through the middle and top ropes and waves the flag to a chorus of boos. His video package of his in ring highlights plays on the Jumbo Tron during his entrance.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from San Francisco, California, weighing in at 242lbs, Peter Puffer!!!
"Party Up" by DMX fills the arena as the lights go out throughout the arena. Red lights then appear around the stage area and Blood makes his way to the ring. When he enters the ring, red pyros go off from the ring posts.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, hailing from Los Angeles, weighing in at 249lbs, Blood!!!
PP looks at Blood and blows him a kiss. Furious at this, Blood runs at Peter Puffer and takes him down with a huge spear, bouncing his head off the mat and winding him. Blood sits astride Peter Puffer and rains blows on him. Peter Puffer smiles, reaches up and hugs Blood to him. As Blood tries to escape the embrace, the referee counts Peter Puffer's shoulders to the mat 1...2...kick out! Blood pulls Peter Puffer to his feet. Puffer drives two elbows into Blood's gut on the way up then whips him into the ropes. As Blood comes off the ropes, Puffer hits him with a back-body drop. Jason Chase stands up in the front row and begins to yell at Puffer. Puffer looks over in Chase's direction. Right behind Chase, a man stands up, turns around, then drops his pants and moons Puffer. Puffer stands there with a look of excitement on his face. His manager and lover, Twink, stands on the outside looking on jealously. Taking advantage of this, hits Puffer with a low blow, then rolls him up. 1....2....3!!!
Winner: Blood Time: 2:02
Post match we see Chase handing the mooner some cash, just before security hauls him off.
Dave: I just don't know what to say about what we just witnessed.
Steven: Some things are better left unsaid, Dave.
Dave: That is the wisest thing I ever heard you say, Double-S.
Steven: Was that hair on that guy's ass?
Dave: (disgusted) Why do I bother? Let's go to our next match.
Steven: Oh goody, a non-tournament match between three religious extremists. If that doesn't spell ratings, I don't know what does!
First the lights go out, then dark blues lights highlight the arena when "Anti-Christ Superstar" by Marilyn Manson blares through the arena with a shot of fire going off at the entrance as The "Anti-Christ" Jake King walks out.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Chicago, weighing in at 300lbs, "The Anti-Christ" Jake King!!!
The arena goes dark as "Hail Mary" by Tupac Shakur begins to play. fireworks shoot straight up from the ramp leading to the ring, as they explode sparks rain down from the top of the Jumbotron. The Reverend Billy Blaze steps through the sparks and slowly raises his arms until they form the Iron Cross.
Clay Clayborne: Now in the ring, hailing from Kosciscko, Mississippi, weighing in at 243lbs, The Reverend Billy Blaze!!!
The arena goes black then a single spotlight illuminates the entryway. A man in a white suit known only as The Reverend stands there with his head bowed low. Then "Spirit in the Sky" begins to play, and the Reverend begins to make his way to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from San Antonio, Texas weighing in at 260lbs, The Reverend!!!
The three men enter the ring and circle. Then, the RBB charges the Reverend and hits him with a clothesline that sends him over the ropes and out onto the ring floor. RBB climbs to the top rope and executes a leg drop onto the downed clergyman. ACJK sits in the ring and laughs maniacally at what he is witnessing. The referee begins to count. RBB whips the Reverend into the guardrail then charges forward and attempts a drop kick. Oh! No one home as the Reverend manages to dodge the attack. The Reverend, does a standing elbow drop on the prone RBB. ACJK exits the ring on the opposite side and grabs a chair. The ref continues his count. The Reverend picks up RBB and hits him with a DDT onto the floor. The Reverend looks up and points to the sky. Unfortunately, he does not spot ACJK before it is too late. ACJK whacks the Reverend in the head with a chair, then takes the chair over the back of the RBB. He smiles, then chucks the chair aside and slides back into the ring. The referee continues his count....7....8....9....10!!! The Reverend and RBB have been counted out!
Winner: "The Anti-Christ" Jake King Time: 1:39
Dave: Certainly appears that Jake King took advantage of the two Reverend's hatred for each other.
Steven: Well, that won't be the end of that battle. Religious zealots will fight on and on. Look at the Christians and Muslims, they have been fighting for what, decades, and they are showing no sign of stopping.
Dave: You think they have only been fighting for decades? You are such a dumb piece of...
Suddenly the arena goes dark.
Dave: What's going on?
The Jumbotron lights up and begins to play a video.
The scene is of a desert, of the variety typical of the American Southwest. This particular piece of land has a highway stretching through it, like the shadow of a great tower cast on the cracked, worn-boot colored ground. The highway has lane markers, but these have long been obscured by the sand that has blown onto and across the asphalt, sand that can be seen to rise up in a quiet whirlwind in the distance. Next to the highway, aside from the odd, almost man-shaped cactus, there stands a worn, sand-swept sign. It is dark green, with white lettering that clearly reads, "Route 66 Nevada State Line." Behind the sign, there are mountains, which, from afar, seem like an army of flexed biceps, caked in dust. Over the heads of the mountains, a storm brews. The storm has not yet formed, and is of yet only a gathering of aspiring thunderheads. These clouds pulsate and strain, trying to join together, seeming to know that eventually, soon, they will succeed and from then on they shall be a roiling mass of gray-blue rage.
Now we hear the roar of a mighty, but clean engine. A shape can be seen forming over the horizon, forming as if out of the would-be storm. It is the silhouette of a man on a motorcycle. As the bike moves closer, the sound of the engine increases, and we can make out more detail both the vehicle, and the rider. The bike, judging from its make and build, is a Harley Davidson Road King, the kind commonly associated with extended bike rallies. The man sitting astride the hog is certainly an impressive specimen, easily big enough to support the weight of his vehicle. He sits tall and relaxed in the saddle, massive arms spread wide across the bike's handlebars, with his right index and middle fingers resting on the brake lever. As the bike gets even closer, we can take a good look at him. He's a Native American. Sioux, by the square of his jaw and arc of his cheekbones. His skin is the copper one only finds on Indigenous flesh, and his long, black hair flies wild behind him like the raven who gave that color to his people. His face is quite handsome, with the bearing of quiet pride that gave rise to the idea of the noble savage. He wears silver-rim sunglasses, a button-up denim vest and beaded bracers, that do nothing if not accentuate his highly toned physique. But he is not alone on that bike, for as we can se more and more of it, we can see that there is a pair of paper-white arms locked tightly around the biker's waist. The bike pulls up to coast alongside us, and we can clearly see that the person holding on to the driver's waist is a girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen years of age, clad in blue-jeans and a zipped-up leather Aviator's jacket that is definitely too big for her. She smiles contentedly as she rests her send-blown cheek against the biker's back. Her eyes, silk-screen eyelids and all, are closed and at ease.
Now we hear a voice, like the voice the oldest mountains or wisest chieftains would have. It is clearly the voice of the biker.
BIKER'S VOICE: Thunderbird, hear me! It is Johnny Mayweather, whom you named Raindance, and I need your council.
Behind the bike, we can see that the storm clouds have come together, and are blessing the desert with an almost unknown rain. Thunder sounds.
JOHNNY RAINDANCE: I'll take that as an "I'm listening, JRD, go right ahead." (He looks over his shoulder for a second.) Look, T-Bird, you know me. I'm not big on the whole "Pray-to-the-gods-of-ultimate-woopass" thing, so I'll do what I can to make this easy on us both. I want to thank you for helping me out at the AWS. Thanks for helping me learn to wrestle, and for steering the crowd's thoughts in my general direction. I mean, you have no idea how much that did for T-shirt sales (The thunder crackles again.) Alright, chill! I was joking. I want you to know that I'm grateful that you helped me to find Sandi (taking one hand off of the handlebar, he places it on the interlocked hands of the girl behind him. She sighs.) She's a great kid now if only you could do me a favor and hit her with a lightning-bolt whenever she gets into trouble but then, I doubt you have that many lightning-bolts.
For a minute, the bike rolls on, and Johnny is silent.
RAINDANCE: Right now though, it seems I need your help anew. I've been invited to join the PCW, and I figure, seeing as how elite they are over there, I might as well give it my best shot. So I was wondering if you could hook it up with the blessings (He sighs.) Thunderbird, great lord of the rolling clouds, bless your chosen son. Give me your courage to fly headfirst into the winds of fate, and to throw myself upon the mercy of this new adventure which I undertake. Give me your wisdom to know when and where to fight my battles, your courage to fight those battles to my utmost, and your discretion so that I may know when to regroup for the next fight. Give me your pride so that I might live up to the expectations of my friends, my family and myself, but also the humility to know that there are causes for which pride must be momentarily laid down. Give to me your bird's-eye-vigilance so that I may better protect those closest to me. But foremost, give unto me your greatest gifts. Give me your will to succeed, to be the victor in all my endeavors, and at all costs, and your ability to strike with great fury and suddenness from out of nothingness and defeat.
Finally, the great white-and-red Harley rolls on, until we are looking at the back of the girl riding behind Johnny. On the back of her jacket, we can clearly see a large patch of a bald eagle, it's winds spread, with two blots of lightning in its talons.
RAINDANCE: Oh, and T-bird, give me a diner or a bed-and-breakfast or something! I'm starved. (As if in response, lightning strikes no more than fifty feet away from the bike.) And quit it with the weird coincidences that make it look like you can really hear me it. It's creeping Sandi out. (And with that, the mean machine rolls over the horizon, leaving nothing but the now raging storm.
Then these words burst from the sky and onto the Jumbotron screen.
Then the Jumbotron fades out.
Steven: Who the hell was that?
Dave: How did you get this job? Weren't you paying attention? He said his name was Johnny Raindance.
Steven: And he is...?
Dave: Well, I don't really know. Maybe we can find out more and report it on Aftermath later this week. OK, we have onto our next tournament match up. O.d makes his PCW debut against Razor.
Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies plays on the loud speakers. The crowd screams. In the ring the O.d logo(red and says O.d and has a smile under it. it looks like a smiley face.) circles around from a red strobe light. O.d walks out from the curtain then looks both ways with caution. He makes his way to the ring with red and white pyros going off along the walkway. O.d gets to the ring and slides under the ropes.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Gazzette, Missouri, weighing in at 290lbs, O.d!!!
Razor walks out to a sound of a shotgun and then 28 days RIP IT UP hits the speakers and Razor walks out flipping the bird to the crowd.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Los Angeles, weighing in at 280lbs, Razor!!!
Pre-match, Scott Naket comes out with a lawn chair and Igloo cooler and sets it up in the ringside area. He sits down, opens up a can of 7-UP and watches the festivities.
The bell rings. The two men circle, then lock up. Razor pushes free and begins hammering O.d with right hands. He whips him into the corner O.d doubles over from the force of the impact. Razor charges in for a double axe handle, but O.d dodges it, causing Razor to slam his hands down onto the turnbuckle. O.d hits Razor with an atomic drop. Razor grabs his jewels, then spins around, just to be hit with an inverted atomic drop, then a running lariat for his troubles. Razor rises to one knee, and O.d grabs him by the Mohawk and picks him up the rest of the way and hits him with a scoop slam. Cover 1...2, kickout! O.d begins to take the boots to Razor. The crowd roars their approval. O.d picks Razor up and whips him into the ropes, then hits him with a back body drop. Then he locks on the Suicide Sleeper. Razor holds out for a few seconds then taps out!
Winner: O.d Time 2:49
Post match, Warden Widger comes to the ring and tries to help Razor up. Razor refuses, and goes off on his own.
Dave: Ok, that was a good showing for O.d in his PCW debut. We have to head to a commercial.
(Commercial: PCW Dawning: October 22, 2000, Live and only on Pay-Per-View. Call you local cable operator today and place your order!)
Dave: Welcome back. This upcoming match should be a dandy...
Steven: Dandy? Puffer has already wrestled.
Dave: Would you shut up! Let's head to the ring for another first round tournament match.
The lights dim as "Creeping Death" from Metallica cranks over the PA system. Pyros go off as Nazeem casually makes his way to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Los Angeles, weighing in at 290lbs, Axe Nazeem!!!
"American Badass" By Kid Rock plays as Big J, accompanied by Rachel, walk down to the ring. Two pyros go off, one garnet and the other black as the trendy couple climb through the ropes.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, hailing from Columbia, South Carolina, weighing in at 270lbs, Big J!!!
The bell rings. The two men exchange amateur holds, then finally AN takes down BJ with a snap mare. Justin Sane, David and Goliath all come to ring side. Axe sees them and backs off to the opposite corner and points it out to the referee. The ref goes over to admonish them, then The Kid rushes out from the crowd with a baseball bat and hops up onto the ring apron and demolishes AN with it. Then he climbs up top and executes the Kid Killer onto the downed AN. David, Goliath and Justin Sane leave the ringside area. The Kid slips back out of the ring and pulls a table from beneath the ring. The he slides the table into the ring. The referee is back on the job. The fans are booing loudly and tossing trash into the ring. Big J sets up the table. Big J grabs the downed AN and pulls him up to the top rope and sits him on the turnbuckles facing the crowd. BJ slips through the ropes and climbs the ropes and sets AN up for the South Down drop. He then raises AN high into the air and powerbombs him through the table in the ring. AN is out. BJ poses for the cameras and gets pelted with a cup full of soda. He goes over and makes an easy cover...1....2...3!!!
Winner: Big J Time: 1:46
Dave: That was one of the biggest rip-offs I have ever seen! Nothing but flagrant cheating in that match!
Steven: It's only cheating if you get caught. I suppose the bigger story is that it looks as if Justin Sane, David, Goliath, Big J and The Kid have some sort of working agreement. It's not what you know, but who you know, I always say.
Dave: And you certainly do always say that. It is difficult to fit ten matches into a two hour time period, so let's hit the ring for our next tournament match up.
"Carmina Burana - O'Fortuna" by Orff blares through the PA System as Kremmen, completely ignoring the jeers of the fans, strolls nonchalantly to the ring, decked out in simple black jeans, tee-shirt and wrestling boots, carrying a Kendo Stick.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Washington, DC weighing in at 250lbs, Kremmen!!!
The lights dim to green, "Unforgiven" by Metallica hits, and smoke fills the arena as a muscular 6' figure walks from the back and to the ring down the ramp with a black leather whip in his left hand.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent on his way to the ring, hailing from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 215lbs, Freak of Nature!!!
Kremmen grabs a microphone and points his Kendo Stick at FON.
Kremmen: Freak of Nature. You have a Whip. I have a Kendo Stick. What say we make this a weapon vs weapon match?
FON declines to answer, but instead rolls into the ring, holding his whip curled up in one hand, ready to strike. The referee signals for the bell, and the two men start circling each other. FON strikes out first, trying to intimidate Kremmen by cracking the whip just inches in front of his nose. Kremmen steps back and rolls out of the ring, to the jeers of the crowd. FON follows Kremmen outside, and chases him around the ring, cracking the whip in front of him. Kremmen rolls back in and gets to his knees. FON follows and is greeted by a Kendo Stick blow across the back of his head. FON drops his whip and holds the back of his neck, and rolls around the ring in pain. Kremmen takes advantage by striking FON several times with his Kendo Stick, and takes the opportunity to kick the whip out of the ring. FON sees this and rolls outside after it. FON picks up the whip, and stands, doubled over, sucking wind from the repeated kendo stick blows. Kremmen postures to the crowd, and is met by boos and a flurry of garbage.
Scott Naket comes to ringside, sits in an easy chair and starts munching on some popcorn, watching the action with great intensity, reacting to every move.
Dave: Do Naket's actions tonight, strike you as a little weird?
Steve: Compared to Puffer's actions? No.
FON recovers and climbs back into the ring. FON circles Kremmen, and with a quick flick of the wrist, wraps the whip around Kremmen's Kendo Stick, and draws Kremmen in to him. Kremmen uses his height advantage to stun FON with a vicious headbutt. FON staggers back, and the whip unravels itself from Kremmen's Kendo Stick. Kremmen swings at FON, connecting with a glancing blow to the ribs. FON gasps for air and backs off from Kremmen. FON starts playing to the crowd, who respond with "Lets go Freak-o Lets go!" chants. Seraph runs down towards the ring, but Naket reclines his easy chair as he goes by, causing Seraph to trip over the footrest. He tumbles towards the ring and crashes into the steel steps headfirst and is out cold. Meanwhile, back in the ring, FON recovers sufficiently to crack the whip at Kremmen again, this time striking him across the wrist, forcing Kremmen to drop his Kendo Stick. FON wraps the whip around both hands and tries for a neck-high clothesline, but Kremmen ducks, turns around and catches FON with a kick to the gut as he bounces back off the ropes. Kremmen lifts FON up and drops him hard in the "Kremmen Special" Death Valley Driver. Kremmen covers FON. The referee counts 1...2...3!
Winner: Kremmen Time: 2:45
Steven: Another impressive win for Kremmen.
Dave: He beat Freak of Nature. Not exactly something to brag about. What was Seraph up to?
Steven: I dunno, but he certainly got acquainted with the ringside steps thanks to Scott Naket.
Dave: Speaking of Naket, his first round tournament match against Prophesy is about to begin.
Steven: (feigning excitement) Woo hoo! Prophesy, the man! (no longer feigning excitement) Hey, I am heading to the concession stand. Want a hot dog?
Dave: Sure, I'll take one with chili, relish, mu...
Steven: Whoa! I said a hot dog. Condiment requests will not be honored.
Dave: Ok, I suppose I will settle for a plain hotdog.
The lights dim. "Somebody's Gotta Feel This" by Kid Rock hits and blue pyro explodes. The lights return and Scott Naket hops out of his easy chair and slaps hands with some of the fans at ringside. He climbs up and enters the ring. He walks to the center and poses while Jeff Jarrett pyro explodes behind him. He stands and waits for his opponent.
Clay Clayborne: In the ring at this time, hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, weighing in at 247lbs, Scott "The Hott One" Naket!!!
The arena goes dark and the music from the Madden 2001 commercial and the lights flash red and green. When he emerges red and green fireworks go off and then Prophesy makes his way to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 270lbs, Prophesy!!!
Naket and Prophesy lock up. Naket sends Prophesy to the ropes. Prophesy ducks a first clothesline attempt but is flattened by the second. Naket plays to the crowd, which goes wild in response to the popular man. Prophesy gets to his knees, and grabs Naket by the tights and sends him out to the floor between the top and middle ropes. Naket lands hard against the guardrail. Some fans lean over and help him up to his feet, patting him on the shoulder. Prophesy jumps off the ring apron and connects with guard rail as Naket moved out of the way in time after being warned by the fans. Naket stomps Prophesy repeatedly, picks him up and rolls him back into the ring. Naket climbs back onto the apron, then up to the top rope. Naket launches himself into the air and is power slammed to the mat by Prophesy. Prophesy covers Naket. The referee counts 1....2.... Naket kicks out! A frustrated Prophesy argues with the referee, pushing and shoving him, and Naket rolls him up from behind in a small package. The referee counts 1...2...3!
Winner: Scott Naket Time: 2:16
Dave: (with his mouth full) Now that's a good hot dog! How much do I owe you?
Steven: $11.50.
Dave: (choking) What!?!
Steven: If you want free hotdogs, go to Puffer. If you want them here at the MSG concession stand, they are $11.50.
Dave: (clearing his throat) Let's go to the ring for our next tournament match.
"Justice for All" by Metallica hit the PA system as white sparks shoot up in the air with the tempo of the music as Brian Hanson makes his way to the ring with his cocky, pretty-boy attitude.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from New York City, weighing in at 325lbs, Brian Hanson!!!
The lights go out until just the spotlight is left facing the entryway as "Surfacing" from Slipknot hits the PA system. Byron and Pancho walkout, look around then look back at the entryway. The C-6's music hits and Crazy Six then comes out and they walk slowly to the ring. C-6 climbs up to the top turnbuckle and Byron and Pancho get on the ring apron right beside him as he thrusts his hands in the air and screams.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, also hailing from New York City, weighing in at 278lbs, Crazy Six!!!
Brian Hanson challenges Crazy Six to a test of strength. Crazy Six accepts the challenge, but is quickly overpowered by BH. BH releases Crazy Six, and is applauded by the crowd for his good sportsmanship. Crazy Six bounces off the ropes and tries to take down Brian Hanson with a clothesline, but to no avail. CS tries again, no good, BH laughs at him. The third time CS throws his whole body behind the clothesline and succeeds in rocking BH on his feet. CS rains blows on BH's face, head and neck, trying to put him down. BH staggers back and leans against the ropes. The referee pulls CS back and lectures him about the rules of contact with the ropes. BH recovers and charges CS and takes him and the referee down with a huge clothesline. The referee rolls into the corner and holds his head. The lights suddenly begin to strobe as Supernova Goes Pop by Powerman 5000 blares over the PA system. As the instruments come together, Meanstreak charges down the entrance ramp. He slides into the ring and tackles Brian Hanson to the mat. Crazy Six stands there, frozen in place as Meanstreak turns to him, glaring. He takes a step forward as the crowd starts to boo. Brian Hanson makes his way to his feet and turns to Meanstreak. He grabs him by the shoulder and turns him around. The 7'0" Hanson swings madly at Meanstreak. He hits him head on, causing him to stumble back into Crazy Six. Crazy Six pushes him forward with all his might as Hanson goes for a clothesline. Meanstreak ducks under his arm and lifts up the 325 pounder on his shoulder in a Reverse Death Valley Driver. He lifts him into the air, grunting loudly and slams his head into the mat. Crazy Six leans against the ropes, debating whether to leave or not as the scarred man stands up, turning his attention to him. He charges at Six and stops only inches before him. Grinning madly, his eye open wide, he stares down at Crazy Six and shakes his head slightly. Supernova Goes Pop hits again and Meanstreak rolls out of the ring to a chorus of boos. The referee recovers, and Crazy Six, with a shrug of his shoulders covers BH. The referee groggily counts 1......2......3!
Winner: Crazy Six Time: 4:00
Dave: Meanstreak strikes again!! What an animal! Steven, you can come out from under the desk, now.
Steven: I wasn't hiding under the desk. Is he gone?
Dave: He's gone.
Steven: Good. I doubt we will see him again, because I was about to step into the ring myself a lay an ass whipping on that piece of crap.
Dave: (sarcastically) Sure you were. Ok, we will be back with our main event of the evening after these commercial messages. Stay tuned!
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Mrs. Paul's, Sarah Lee and Tampex)
Steven: Where the hell is PHD finding these sponsors.
Dave: Who knows, but let's go to out Tampex Main event of the evening!
Steven: Hold up. What the heck is with that!
Dave: Well, Tampex wanted to sponsor the main event, so we call the main event the Tampex Main Event. You know, like Pro Player Stadium and 3com Park.
Steven: Bloody hell, and I am not trying to pun!
Dave: Shut up! Let's head to the ring.
'Brainless' by The Urge blasts the arena with its ska fury as Doug Troy walks out onto the ramp. He looks around, smiles, then throw the sign of the Kliq into the air. He smiles then walks to the ring and poses on the turnbuckles for all of his admiring fans.
Clay Clayborne: This is tonight's main event. In the ring at this time, hailing from Omaha, Nebraska, weighing in at 230lbs, Doug Troy!!!
American Psycho" by Trebel Charger hits the PA system as light flash and silver pyros begin exploding. Then, the massive Goliath comes out and makes his way to the ring.
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from New York City, weighing in at 320lbs, Goliath!!!
DT looks up at the massive Goliath with a look of fear on his face and begins to bite his fingernails, starting with his index pinky. Goliath crosses his arms and looks amused. Finally DT gets to his middle finger, and shows it Goliath and begins to crack up and the fans laugh. Goliath gets angry and charges DT, just to get taken down by a drop toe hold. DT quickly scampers on top of the big man applies a crossface type submission maneuver, a hold which he breaks quickly, then goes for something more primitive: He grabs Goliath by the ears and begins pounding his head into the mat. David sprints out of the back. Meanwhile, Justin Sane is shown trying to make his way through the crowd. DT, begins to picks up the massive Goliath then hits him with a knife-edge chop to the throat, followed by a superkick. Goliath is staggering, and DT gives the sign for the Take. David slides under the ropes and grabs DT from behind and goes for a belly to back suplex, but DT reverses it and hits him with the "Take". The crowd goes nuts, but a quickly recovering Goliath takes down DT with a big boot. The referee rolls David out of the ring.
Meanwhile, Justin Sane begins to climb over the ringside railing. Jason Chase sprints up from his chair and jumps on the railing and hits Sane with Cut to the Chase inside the ringside area. Goliath drops DT with a European uppercut. Big J and Rachel begin making their way to the ring. Goliath gives the sign for the Goliath bomb. He picks up DT for it and raises him high in the air, but DT has enough foresight to grab Goliath's head on the way down and reverse into a face buster. The crowd goes nuts. Jason Chase is laying the boots to Justin Sane in the ringside area.
Rachel jumps up on the ring apron and begins distracting the ref. The ref commands her to leave, but she reaches around to her back and after a couple of seconds, pulls a red bra out from under her dress then leans over the top rope. The ref seems pleasantly stunned. Meanwhile DT, is attempting to cover Goliath, but the ref is not paying attention. DT gives Goliath seven or eight shots to the head for good measure, then gets up to get the referee's attention. Big J enters from the opposite side of the ring and catches DT with his Bling Bling Superkick. Rachel is still distracting the referee. Big J picks up DT and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Jason Chase grabs his crutch and climbs up to the ring apron. Goliath is beginning to stir. Big J climbs up the rope sets up DT for the South Town Drop. Jason Chase tells big J to hold DT still and winds up with his crutch and takes a swing. At the last moment, Justin Sane reaches up and pulls Jason Chase's leg, causing him to miss Doug Troy and blast Big J instead. Big J falls into the ring, Doug Troy falls into the ring. Goliath is on his feet, but is wobbly. Jason Chase and Justin Sane are battling in the ringside area. The referee seems to sense something is wrong, but Rachel lays a kiss on him, then grabs his head, drops to her knees and hits him with a stunner!! The ref is down! David begins to gets up and climbs into the ring and helps Goliath get his bearings. DT is stirring.
Then, suddenly, Supernova Goes Pop by Powerman 5000 suddenly hits, and the lights going down. A video of Meanstreak's recent assaults on Friday Fusion and other random footage plays on the Jumbotron. A shadow suddenly appears behind the tron. It gets larger as if the thing behind it is heading closer to the cloth of the tron. As the instruments come together, Meanstreak blasts through the tron, ripping right through the fabric. He holds his arms out, obviously on a harness, as he flies to the ring. Everyone in the ring who is coherent looks up in astonishment at the flying lunatic. Meanstreak releases the harness a moment before it comes over the ring. His 318 pound body slams into David and Goliath, knocking them both to the mat. Meanstreak is the first to his feet as Goliath soon follows. Goliath looks over to him in rage as Meanstreak cracks a cocky grin. This sets Goliath off, who charges full speed at Meanstreak. He jumps up just as Goliath dives in a spear at him. Landing onhis back, he forces the big man to the mat and jumps off his back. Meanstreak stands Goliath up, unaware of the approaching David. Just as David is about to hit him, Meanstreak brings his elbow back fiercely into his head. David stumbles back and falls to the mat, holding his nose. Meanstreak's arm, still held back lunges forward, straight into Goliath's face. The sound of the impact seems like two trains colliding as Goliath stumbles back. Meanstreak goes quickly around to the 7'3" Goliath's back and lifts him up onto his shoulder in his signature move. He drives his head into the mat as Big J slowly gets to his feet. Doug Troy rolls out of the ring. Meanstreak stays on one knee, his hair covering his face as he cracks another grin, this time directed toward Big J. Big J growls at him and runs forward and attempts a lariat, but instead finds himself taken by the throat, into the air, then slammed down onto the mat. Meanstreak picks up the 270 Big J off the mat, straight onto his shoulders and delivers his reverse DVD with ease. Then, he jumps out of the ring, grabs a mic, and heads up the ramp. He turns to the ring about halfway up the ramp and speaks. "Come one...come all!!! You have all just been...At Death's Door!!!" Meanstreak whips the mic to the floor and continues up the ramp as his music hits again. Doug Troy crawls back into the ring and flips over Goliath. A new referee runs out of the back. Rachel tries to distract this referee but DT slaps off the ring apron. DT covers Goliath...1....2....3!!!
Winner: Doug Troy Time 17:54
Dave: What a wild finish! Meanstreak is completely out of control!
Steven: Is he gone!?!
Dave: He's returned to the back. We are out of time! We will see you on Friday, from the RAC at Rutgers University. Good night everyone!
The closing shot is of Meansteak leaving the building. The scene pans away, then goes black and white, then the shot pans away from a black and white video monitor in a posh room. The room is furnished with a combination of leather couches and dark wood tables.
In the corner sits a portly man wearing a red baseball cap, with his back to the camera busily working away on a computer. The camera pans in on the computer screen and to show a picture and biography of Meanstreak.
Along another wall of the room sits a mismatched gray desk, with piles of comic books and electronic doo-dads cluttering its surface. Seated behind the desk is none other than Professor Herbert D. Dorkiman. On the wall behind the desk is a poster of Lucy Lawless, an atomic element chart, and a small picture of three men, holding up five title belts among them. The picture is too small to make out two of the men, but PHD is easily recognizable by his black horn-rimmed glasses and white laboratory coat.
Facing PHD's desk is a high backed, leather chair. The back of the chair obscures the occupant of the chair, if any, from the view of the camera.
PHD: See what I am up against. Can you lend me a hand with this?
Voice obscured by the high backed leather chair: You know I have commitments, Herbert, but I think I have away around them. Sure, you can count me in. Anything for a friend.
PHD cracks a huge bucktoothed grin. He stands up and gives the "Live Long and Prosper" Sign to the person sitting across from him. The man in the chair stands up, still with his back to the camera. He has neatly cropped hair and is wearing a camel hair sport jacket.
PHD: Thanks a lot, commissioner!
PHD cracks open a can of generic brand crème soda and pours it into a Dr. Who, Tardis mug. The man with his back to the camera pops the cork of a bottle of what appears to be white wine and pours it into a crystal wine glass.
The clink glasses and PHD smiles as the scene fades to black.