
Tuesday Turmoil for October 17th, 2000from the Wheel in Wheeling, West Virginia
The show opens with highlights of last week's Friday Fusion. A quick set of shots details the wave of chaos caused by VP-L on the program, and Anthony Cay's big win in the VP-L Invitational Battle Royal and Meanstreak's win over Troy Brown.
The scene then cuts away to show a UPS truck pulling up to the arena
The opening package for Tuesday Turmoil begins. This weeks package only highlight's four wrestlersKremmen, Reverend, Doug Troy and MeanstreakThen an image of the Commissioner wearing his David Stern mask over shadows them all.
When the opening package ends, the camera shot briefly shows the UPS truck backing up to the loading ramp of the Wheel in Wheeling, West Virginia, then the scene shifts inside to the interior of the jam packed arena. The camera zooms around the arena focusing on several people in the crowd. The shots are of the usual things. First, it focuses in holding signs showing support for each of the four wrestlers involved in this weekend's Main Event, World Title match, then on a busty girl wearing a Ryan Knox T-shirt. Then the camera zooms to a kid wearing a mask like the one worn by the Super Duper Masked Jobber King, then over to a couple of hot looking hillbilly chick and focuses in on an incredibly fat man sitting in the front row. The man has to weigh, well, over 700 lbs. He waves at the camera and stuffs his face with a hotdog.
Steven Smith: Jesus Christ, who the hellwell, let me change that, what the hell is that?
Dave Kern: (sighs) Hello and welcome to PCW Tuesday Turmoil!! We are coming to you live from the Wheel in Wheeling, West Virginia
Steven: Don't take the brown acid! If you have taken the brown acid, go to the wheel immediately!
Dave: Shut up, why don't you! Boy, what a PPV this Dawning is shaping up to be this Sunday from the Columbus Convention Center, in Columbus Ohio. I am Dave Kern and I am joined, as always, by wrestling's biggest moron, Steven Smith. Steven, tonight is the calm before the storm as several newcomers will go at it in their PCW debuts.
Steven: Yeah, management has given the main event talent the night off and loaded up this card with fresh meat for the grinder. We will be treated to a return match between Scott Naket and Ryan Knox for the PCW Extreme Title. More importantly, however, is we will get to see VP-L in the ring with Joker, as the Joker will get a little payback for VP-L's actions on Thursday night.
Dave: True. Now, we have a full card, so let's head to the ring for our first match.
("Paranoid" by Black Sabbath plays and the lights dim. The lights come back on as Prozac enters the ring.)
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring from Terre Haute, Indiana......PROZAC!!!!!
("Wait and Bleed" by Slipknot blasts over the PA system as The Boss walks out. The fans go wild and The Boss walks to the end of the ramp and raises both his arms. Lights flash and Pyros explode. Boss enters the ring and leans back against the ropes while the fans quite down.)
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent hailing from Miami, Florida......THE BOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The two men start off in the center off the ring with a collar and elbow tie-up. Prozac gets the quick advantage and sends the Boss into the ropes. Prozac goes for a clothesline but the Boss ducks under, bounces off the opposite ropes and returns with a hard shoulder block sending Prozac to the mat. The Boss then rebounds of the ropes again and goes for an elbow drop but there's no one home. Prozac quickly gets to his feet and stomps the Boss. The Boss fights to his feet only to be scooped slammed by Prozac. Prozac lifts the Boss to his feet and delivers an uppercut sending the Boss back into the corner. Prozac whips the Boss into the opposite corner and follows in with a back elbow splash. Prozac steps aside as the Boss falls to the mat. Prozac bounces of the ropes and delivers a big leg drop across the throat of Boss. Prozac goes for the pin 1..........2........NO!! Prozac lifts the Boss and chops him across the chest numerous times forcing the Boss back into the corner. He then begins delivering lefts and rights to the midsection of the Boss. Prozac once again whips the Boss into the opposite corner and charges in for a knee lift. The Boss moves out of the way. Prozac stumbles back into a school boy roll up by the Boss, 1...........2..................3.....NO!!!! Only 2 1/2. Prozac got his shoulder up. The Boss and Prozac rise to their feet simultaneously. Prozac goes for a big right hand only to be blocked by the Boss. The Boss returns with a serious of rights capped off by a big windmill right hand that sends Prozac to the mat. The Boss scoops Prozac up onto his shoulder and delivers a running powerslam. Cover by the Boss 1.........2..........NO! The Boss lifts Prozac up again and kicks him in the gut, he then locks Prozac up for a piledriver but Prozac turns it around with a back body drop. Prozac delivers a clothesline to the Boss as he rises sending the Boss crashing back down to the mat. Prozac climbs to the second rope and delivers a guillotine leg drop and then goes for the cover. 1...............2............NO! Boss sneaks his shoulder up at the last second. Prozac locks a sleeper on the Boss. The Boss is staggering with Prozac draped over his back with the sleeper locked in. The Boss drops to one knee. He then drops to the mat completely. The ref is checking to see if the Boss is out of it. The arm drops once..........Twice........Threeeeeee......NO... The Boss is still alive! He responds by keeping his arm raised. He begins to work his way to his feet. He delivers a couple of elbow smashes to Prozac's mid section to break the hold. Boss bounces into the ropes and ducks under a clothesline from Prozac and rebounds with a clothesline of his own sending Prozac to the mat. He lifts Prozac to his feet and whips him into the ropes Prozac is welcomed back with a sidewalk slam...1...............2..............No!!!! The Boss whips Prozac in once again Prozac is met with a big boot to the face. The Boss then lifts Prozac up for the RAS. But Prozac gives the Boss a thumb to the eye. He then delivers a kick to the gut of the Boss and plants the Boss with a ddt. Prozac then ascends to the top rope and goes for the Suicide Ideation(missile dropkick). But the Boss moves out of the way he then goes for the pin. 1.............2..............NO!!! Prozac got the shoulder up!. The Boss then scoops Prozac up and plants him on the top rope. Boss then climbs up. He hooks Prozac in for a superplex. Prozac pushes the Boss off to the canvas. Prozac rises to his feet on the turnbuckle, He leaps of and nails the SUICIDE IDEATION!!!! 1.........2................3!!!!!
Winner: Prozac Time: 4:51
Dave: Well, Prozac and The Boss put on an impressive show, but Prozac comes away with the win.
Steven: That was pretty impressive.
Dave: Is that the extent of your in depth color commentary?
Steven: Yep.
Dave: Alrighty then, let's move onto our second match of the evening!
Dim lights alternate between the colors blue and white as Outkast's "Gasoline Dreams" bumps through the speakers and Cole Envy makes his way to the ring with Shimmer. They stand in the middle of the ring as white pyro shoots out of two of the posts over blue lighting, then blue pyro shoots out of the remaining two posts over white lights.
Clay Clayborne: In the ring at this time, hailing from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, weighing in at 216lbs Cole Envy!
"Walk" by Pantera plays and John Patrick and his valet, Becca, steps on the entranceway. He is wearing black tearaways and a black t-shirt. As they walk down to the ring behind them are four red pyro blasts. He steps on the apron and raises both arms. He then steps in the ring and helps Becca in the ring. Becca takes off his tearaways and he takes off his shirt. He then goes to his corner and pulls on the top rope and stretches out.
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Becca, hailing from Wichita, Kansas, weighing in at 255lbs, The Eliminator John Patrick!
Becca and Shimmer begin jawing at each other, then the two pose provocatively for the crowd and get huge pop. Finally, referee Buzz Meacham takes control and orders both women from the ring, much to the displeasure of the crowd. The bell rings. CE immediately takes JP down with a baseball slide. JP springs up, but immediately is taken down by an armdrag take down. Envy puts his knee into the middle of JP's back and pulls his arms back.Buzz Meacham tells Envy to break the hold.Envy ignores him and Meacham begins to count1234 Envy breaks the hold and begins to jaw at Meacham. JP rolls out of the ring to the floor. Shimmer comes over and begins laying the heels to JP. Becca rushes over and grabs Shimmer by the hair and throws her to the ground and a cat fight ensues. The crowd is going nuts. Meanwhile, Envy had lept up to the top rope and attempts to hit JP with ENVIOUS in the ringside area. JP puts up his knees and catches Envy square in the gut. Meanwhile Becca has torn Shimmer's dress and the crowd begins screaming for puppies. JP picks up Envy and hits him with a verticle suplex. The referee begins to count both men out.1.2.Becca complete rips off Shimmer's dress and leaving Shimmer with nothing but a red lace bra and thong panties. Shimmer runs to the back while Becca shows off Shimmer's torn garmets to the crowd. The crowd pops.The ref continues to count.4.5Becca comes over and removes the mat from the ringside area. JP picks up CE and hits him with a huge pile driver onto the concrete floor.CE looks like he is out cold. JP picks him up and rolls him back up into the ring and follows. He goes for the cover.12kickout!! JP picks CE up by his hair. He flips him over and sets him up for his ELIMINATOR (Sharpshooter) submission.He flips Envy over.CE's face contorts in pain.the ref asks him if he has had enough, but he says no.He is struggling to get to the ropes, but seems to be too far away! Suddenly Shimmer comes running out of the back still half dressed. She charges up onto the ring apron, and pops her bra openJP's eyes nearly pop out of his head and he loses his bearings. CE manages to wriggle his way free and rolls up JP..1.2.3!!!
Winner: Cole Envy (and everyone who got a view of Shimmer's mams) Time: 3:03
Post match, Becca pulls Shimmer off the ring apron and begins clawing away at her eyes. A swarm of security comes out to break the two women up.
Dave: Well, ahem, that was enlightening.
Steven: Are we cutting to a commercial, because I need to hit the bathroom!
Dave: Why, yes, yes we are! We will be right back!
(Commercial: Four men(images of Doug Troy, Kremmen, Meanstreak and Reverend appear on the screen)one title.PCW Dawning, live on Pay-Per-View.Sunday, October 22, 2000.)
The scene shifts to the back where PCW employees are looking at a shipping crate that was just delivered by UPS. The wooden box is about 6' x 4', shows an origin of Melbourne, Australia and has air holes punched in it!
Dave: Now what in the world could be in that box?
Steven: It is VP-L, of course! I heard that the Phantom Booker was pissed off, so he probably sent some of his goons down to the land down under and they stuffed VP-L in that box!
The camera goes to the back where Big J is examining the box. The Kid rushes over and whacks him with a pipe from behind.Big J stumbles forward box, then the Kid follows up.Then out of no where both men are struck by "The Future" Ryan Knox and his yellow hummer. Knox and Derrick Diamond jump out of the front, while Doug Troy, Kremmen, PHD, Nick Taylor, Scott Naket, Reverend, and Revenant come running out of the locker rooms in street clothes.well Nick Taylor and PHD are wearing what they always wear.
All seven men begin kicking and stomping on Big J and The Kid. Knox grabs the pipe that the Kid was holding and whacks Big J over the head with it, splitting him wide open. Doug Troy picks up the Kid and hits him with the Take. Kremmen is alternating between both men with his kendo stick. When both men are barely conscious, Kremmen and DT pick up Big J and The Kid.
PHD: "Well, you two are something else. You came to the PCW with your little jobber stable, then had the audacity to advertise for your own little fed using PCW resources. Well, guess what? You two are FIRED, as are your little friends Big D and Bam Bam!
DT and Kremmen throw the two men outside and they metal door is slammed behind them.
Dave: Whoa! That was a shoot if I ever saw one.
Steven: Well, that's what happens when you mess with the PCW. Let's head to the ring for our next match.
Flying Tiger is already in the ring.
Korn's Blind starts to play on the loudspeakers. As Jonathan Davis bellows "Are you ready?!" over the loudspeaker an explosion occurs at the entrance and smoke is left covering the entrance. The Joker slowly makes his way down the steel ramp and into the ring. Once in the ring he ignites a joker playing card on fire and climbs a random turnbuckle. He climbs to the top and holds the card above his head while the crowd cheers.
Clay Clayborne:and his opponent hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada......THE JOKER!!!!!!!
The two men lock up in the center. The Flying Tiger whips Joker into the ropes and delivers a dropkick that sends the Joker to the mat. Joker hops up quickly and advances toward Tiger only to be hip tossed back down. Joker charges back in again and swings a wild right that the Flying Tiger blocks. Tiger rolls the Joker into a small package 1........2.....No! Joker reverses it...1............2...........No!! The two men charge at one another backslide by Joker. 1...........2........NO!! Flying Tiger tries to kick Joker but Joker ducks under and rolls the Flying Tiger up in a school boy 1..............2........NO!! Joker charges at the Flying Tiger, Tiger ducks and sunset flips Joker but Joker counters into a sunset roll up 1............2...........NO!! Flying Tiger rolls it over 1..................2.........NO!!! The two men separate and the crowd claps in appreciation of the series of near pinfalls. They lock up again and the Joker brings Tiger down with an arm drag. Joker flies of the ropes and comes back with a dropkick to the knee of the Flying Tiger. He then latches on to the Flying Tigers leg and delivers a series of step over toe holds. He then drags the Flying Tiger over to the side of the ring and drapes his leg on one of the ropes and begins to jump on it. He then lays the leg on the rope again and climbs to the top rope. He leaps in an attempt o break the Flying Tiger's leg but Tiger got his leg out of the way. Tiger gets to his feet and scoop slams Joker to the mat. He then hops to the second rope and delivers a leg drop...1...........2..........No!! Flying Tiger whips Joker into the turnbuckle and charges in with a huge stinger like splash. he then allows Joker to stumble out. The Flying Tiger then follows behind with a bulldog.....1............2.........NO!! A very close two count. The Flying Tiger runs and springboards off the second rope only to be met with a set of knees to the gut. Joker hops up and slaps the figure four on Tiger. He has the hold locked on for several minutes. Flying Tiger finally makes his way to the ropes. Joker will not break the hold the ref is warning Joker 1................2...................3...............4.......Joker breaks the hold. Joker whips Flying Tiger into the ropes and charges for a clothesline but Tiger ducks under and rebounds off the ropes and returns with a dropkick. Flying Tiger gets to his feet at the same time as Joker. Joker charges and the Flying Tiger but is brought down with a Japanese arm drag. Tiger then follows with a leaping stomp to Joker's head. He lifts Joker up and brings him to the corner...HURRICANE DDT BY TIGER!!!!!!! 1...............2............3......NO!!! JOKER GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!! Tiger sends Joker into the ropes and goes for a standing side kick but Joker dives under he kick and delivers another dropkick to the wounded leg of the Flying Tiger. The Flying Tiger is grasping his leg. The Joker slaps on the figure four again. He has the hold on for 30+ seconds. The FLYING TIGER FINALLY TAPS OUT!!!!!!
WINNER: JOKER Time: 4:01
Dave: The Joker with a well deserved win. And that's not the last we will be seeing of him this evening!
Steven: No, later on, he will tear VP-L limb from limb!
Dave: Ok, we are being told that Cal Seaver is in the back a special guest! Cal!
Cal Seaver - Thanks Steven. You are absolutely correct, I have for you this evening a first for PCW fans. I have lined up an interview with the number two contender for the PCW Heavyweight Championship, a man that has never consented to being interviewed live before, he is the man who reasserted his claim to the Title last Friday in Australia by taking out Meanstreak after the main event. He is Kremmen!
Kremmen - Thanks Seaver, you can be quiet now. I'm here, happily taking air time that up until 5 minutes ago had been booked for some mid carder to use, to talk about something I have lined up for later tonight.
Cal Seaver - You don't have a match tonight, so can you fill us in what the big secret is?
Kremmen - Do not talk over me Seaver. Yes, I'll talk about it, and no, I won't be giving details just yet. Lets just say that later on tonight I will have a little demonstration for Meanstreak, one that he would do well to pay attention to.
Cal Seaver - Meanstreak is in the house tonight, so it's pretty much guaranteed that he will see your demonstration. Aren't you the slightest bit worried about him interrupting proceedings and getting some revenge on you for last Friday?
Kremmen - Listen Seaver, even though you seem incapable of following simple instructions, I will answer anyway. Meanstreak got a demo last Friday of what could be done to him with a little bit of pre-planning. I threw the most dangerous weapon in the history of Pro Wrestling at him, giving him the opportunity to strike me with it, but he decided to examine it, to check it out, to feel its contours as they pierced his skin, and in that millisecond of time, he was taken out by something as simple as mace. We all saw what happened afterward. I will mention at this point that should HAC require an assist at some point in the future, all he has to do is say the word. Anyhow, back to the subject of derision, we strapped him up and rolled him down, but the desired crash landing didn't quite happen as planned. What I will show Meanstreak tonight is that while I made a small mistake that night and he didn't end up kissing guardrail, I don't make the same mistake twice. After my little demonstration, or trial run of something new I have acquired, he might be forced to change his outlook on life and towards how he approaches matches. Am I worried about him? No. Am I focussing on him for Dawning? Yes. Am I being weary that he might attack me? Yes. If he does, I have a little something in store for him.
Cal Seaver - So are we to assume that you will be making your presence felt in someone else's match tonight? Who is the unlucky man?
Kremmen - I've said enough for now. Keep your eyes open during the show, especially you Meanstreak. It will be a learning process for you, and a demonstration of my brilliance for everyone else.
Cal: Strong words from a determined man! Back to you Dave and Steven.
Dave: Boy, Kremmen does have it out for Meanstreak!
Steven: Does he ever!
The crowd begins to chant "We want tables! We want tables!"
Dave: That can only mean one thing! Out table match between Boda and The Machine is about to begin!
Lights go out in the Arena... a pause of a few seconds then "Last Resort" by Papa Roach blares from the dark... Pryos light up the Ramp and Ring as Boda walks slowly to the ring... then he stops. He looks around, the runs back up the ramp and starts hiding behind the PCW-tron.
Clay Clayborne: Now on his way...
Two red streams of pyro come down from the rafters, hit the stage then explode as The Machine rolls out on his bike, then screeches to a halt at the top of the ramp.
He looks for Boda, completely puzzled as Boda comes out from his hiding place and jumps onto the back of Machine's bike and starts pummeling Machine. Machine fights back and, while punching, accidentally engages the throttle at the same time. The bike roars down the ramp as the two continue to brawl. Faster and faster, the bike zooms down toward the ring. Boda sees this and bails out. Machine looks up and sees it as well, but it's too late as the bike crashes into the ring, launching Boda into the air and over the ring!
Dave: INCOMING!!!
His flight comes to a sudden stop as he makes contact with and goes through the announcer's table. Boda shakes off the effects of his fall and looks up. The timekeeper rings the bell, signaling the end of the match.
Winner: Boda Time: :07
Boda jukes, jives and even does the Electric Slide when suddenly Will Perdue comes up from behind with a basketball pump! Three thwacks with the pump takes Boda down, and Will Perdue, no quite finished with Boda yet, takes the nozzle, jams it in Boda's mouth and starts pumping as officials come in the separate the two.
Dave: Oh my God!! Wil Perdue has made his presence felt again, attacking Boda for the second time in as many weeks.
Steven: But Boda picked up a win over the hapless Machine!
Dave: Yeah, but now we have no announce table
Steven: Awe man! This sucks!
Dave: We have to go to a commercial, hopefully when we get back, we will have a new table.
(Commercial: Big J's mini weenies. The teeniest, weeniest little cocktail weenies available on the market today. Get some at your local grocer!)
Dave: Welcome back! We have a commotion in the back, let's see what is going on!
The Preacher is shown walking into the arena. Suddenly, a black limo comes speeding up and strikes the Preacher, sending him careening over the hood of the limo onto the ground. Then the black limo stops about 30 feet away and pauses.. Preacher lies motionless for a moment, the sits up!!!!
The limo peels out of the parking area, as the Preacher gets up, dusts himself off and walks in the direction of the limo.
Dave: Did you just see that? The Preacher just got hit by a limo driving at a fast rate of speed, and shook it off like it was nothing.
Steven: I hope for the Ultimate Warlord's sake, he wasn't in that limo!
Dave: AS IF the Ultimate Warlord could scrape together enough scratch to rent a limo
Steven: Yeah, what WAS I ever thinking. Oh look, Brawler and The Main Man are in the ring already and going at it!
The two men hook up and exchange a series of right hands. The Main Man tackles the Brawler down and mounts him and begins to deliver a series of lefts and rights. He then pulls him up and delivers a scoop slam. The Main Man then once again mounts the Brawler and begins to deliver lefts and rights.
Suddenly flashing red lights become a blaze from the backstage area. An ambulance speeds through the entrance way backing up down to the ring. Kremmen steps out of the vehicle brandishing his kendo stick. The two men in the ring have stopped battling and turned their attention towards Kremmen. Kremmen enters the ring and before the Brawler can say anything Kremmen blasts him with the kendo stick sending him crashing to the mat. Kremmen then blasts the Main Man over the skull with the kendo stick as well. Kremmen then leaves the two men in a crumbled heap as he goes back to his ambulance. He goes to the back and pulls out a gernie he pulls it to ringside. He then drags the Brawler out of the ring and lays him on his back on the gernie. He then pulls the Main Man out and lays him on top of the Brawler face down. He then straps both men in tightly on the gernie and throws them into the back of the ambulance.
Kremmen makes his way back to the drivers seat and speeds off up the ramp way. As he reaches the top the door of the ambulance swings open and the two men come flying out still strapped to the gernie. The gernie flies down the runway until it crashes into the ring post and topples over. Leaving both men strapped together underneath the gernie
Kremmen hops out of the ambulance with a microphone in his hand.
Kremmen - Meanstreak! Take a look at that! I had that gerney especially for you, and this Sunday at Dawning, it WILL go over and take you with it when it hits the turnbuckle with you on it!
The camera shifts back inside the ambulance. Kremmen jumps in and begins to pull into the back. All of a sudden there is some movement then a man's voice is heard!
Doug Troy: Clear!!
Doug Troy can be made out holding a defibulator!! He sticks the shocker devices to the sides of Kremmen's head and gives him an electrical shock. There is a loud crackling noise then Kremmen slumps over. The ambulance goes out of control, but wasn't moving fast enough to affect anything. Doug Troy mugs into the camera, gives a thumbs up and then runs off.
Dave: OH MY GOD!!!
Steven: What the heck just happened?
Dave: I think Doug Troy just defibulated Kremmen, who just displayed a specially made gernie for Meanstreak for this Sunday's title match at Dawning! We have to head to a commercial!
(PCW is brought to you by Med-alert)
Dave: Ok, welcome back. Let's head to the the ring for our next match!
(The lights go out, and a bell tolls. White lights flash around slowly throughout the building. Fog raises up from the stage and through it walks Death Toll.)
Clay Clayborne: First, Making his way to the ring from San Diego, California This is DEATH TOLL!!!!
(Pyro fills the air as "Devil Without A Cause" by Kid Rock roars over the arena. Chris Lee walks out slowly, not showing any emotions he climbs into the ring and waits to tear his competition limb from limb.)
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent. from New Haven, New Mexico... "ICON" CHRIS LEE!!!!
The two men lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. Lee gets the quick advantage as he arm drags Death Toll down and locks him in an arm bar. Death Toll quickly fights off the hold and gets to his feet only to be whipped into the ropes. He rebounds back and is met with a thunderous drop kick. Lee goes for a quick cover but Death Toll quickly kicks out. Lee brings Death Toll to his feet and delivers a couple of European uppercuts. Lee then delivers a northern lights suplex with a bridge. 1...............2............NO!! Lee drags Death Toll to his feet and kicks him in the gut and delivers a ddt. 1............2.........NO!! Death Toll kicks out!! Lee stomps Death Toll a few times then ascends to the top rope. He leaps for an elbow drop but Death Toll rolls out of the way. Death Toll scoops Lee up and delivers a big slam. Death Toll follows with a knee drop to the skull of Lee. Cover 1..............2..........NO! Death Toll scoops Lee up and delivers a vertical suplex. Death Toll rises quickly and whips Lee into the corner and follows with a spalsh attempt but Lee moves out of the way. School boy roll up 1...............2.........NO!! Death Toll got his shoulder up. Lee then kicks Death Toll in the midsection and tucks Death Tolls head in and delivers a double underhook ddt. 1................2........NO!! Lee brings Death Toll to his feet. Death Toll gets Lee of guard and delivers a poke to the eye. He locks Lee up for a choke slam, but Lee returns with a kick to the family jewels and delivers a chokeslam of his own. Lee then brings Death Toll to his feet and delivers the HEART STOPPA 1.....................2.....................3!!!!!
Winner: The "ICON" CHRIS LEE Time: 2:49
Dave: An impressive win for the "Icon" Chris Lee.
Steven: When are we gonna see some real wrestlers?
Dave: Well, tonight has been a good opportunity for some of the new bloods in the PCW to make an impact with the PCW fans.
Steven: (sarcastically) Yeahsmell the ratings.
Dave: Ok, speaking of our PCW's talented newcomers. Let's go to the ring to catch The Preacher in action against the Warlord!
(The lights begin to flash red, "Hit the Lights" by Metallica hits over the PA as Ultimate makes his way to the ring carrying a steel pipe in his left hand.)
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 450lbs, THE ULTIMATE WARLORD!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Total darkness befalls the arena right before The Preacher begins to walk down the Ramp. Then the theme from the movie The Omen begins to play as The Preacher appears and begins to walk to ringside.)
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent hailing from Biloxi, Mississippi, weighing in at 383lbs, THE PREACHER!!!!
The two gigantic men stare down face to face and begin to talk a bit of trash. They lock up in a test of strength. The two seven footers push each other back and forth a bit. The Ultimate Warlord delivers a kick to the midsection of the Preacher and then rebounds himself of the ropes and charges in with a shoulder block but neither man budges. The Ultimate Warlord goes into the ropes again and delivers another shoulder block but again neither man moves. The Ultimate Warlord challenges the Preacher to do the same. Preacher runs in and delivers a shoulder tackle of his own but once again no one budges. The Preacher attempts again for a shoulder block this time the Ultimate Warlord tries to deliver a big boot but the Preacher ducks under and rebounds back with a big clothesline that knocks the Ultimate Warlord to the mat. Preacher goes for an elbow drop and connects. He scoops the Ultimate Warlord to his feet and delivers a scoops slam. the Preacher goes for a quick cover 1.......NO!! That's all he gets. The Preacher Whips the Ultimate Warlord into the ropes and nails the Ultimate Warlord with a thunderous powerslam. 1..................2................NO!! The Preacher lifts the Ultimate Warlord to his feet and tucks the Ultimate Warlord's head between his legs................he delivers a piledriver. 1............. ..........2...........3NO!!! He did not get him!! Warlord got his shoulder up. The Preacher lifts the Ultimate Warlord to his feet and delivers a right hand. The preacher then whips the Ultimate Warlord into the corner and follows in with a splash attempt but the Ultimate Warlord moved out of the way. He then deliver a belly to back suplex to the Preacher as the Preacher stumbled back. Warlord is still hurt, he slowly rises to his feet. Preacher is doing the same. Preacher goes for a big right hand but it is blocked by the Ultimate Warlord who returns with a big right of his own. Followed by a big kick to the gut and finished with a running clothesline that knocks the Preacher to his back. The Ultimate Warlord brings the Preacher to his feet and hoists him onto his shoulder then drives the Preacher into a shoulder breaker. The Ultimate Warlord then locks on an arm bar. He has the hold on for several minutes until finally the Preacher gets to the ropes. The Ultimate Warlord lays the Preacher's arm across the mat and delivers a big knee drop to it, The Preacher grabs his arm in pain. The Warlord stretches the arm again and delivers a big knee again. He then drags The Preacher to his feet and delivers an arm drag take down on the Preacher. He then locks in a hammer lock on the Preacher. The ref breaks the hold when he sees the Warlord using the ropes for extra leverage. The Preacher is lying holding his arm. The Warlord drags the Preacher over to the ring post. The Ultimate Warlord slides out of the ring while holding the Preacher's arm. He slams the Preacher's arm off the ring post. He does it again. He then takes the Preachers arm and slams it off the ring apron. The Warlord gets back in the ring to break the ref's count. He then slides out again and grabs his steel pipe, he wraps the Preacher's arm around the ring post and winds up with the pipe but the Preacher gets his arm out of the way. The Ultimate Warlord gets back in carrying his pipe. He winds up to smash the Preacher but the ref pulls the pipe out of the Ultimate Warlord's hand. The Ultimate Warlord turns and starts pursuing the ref from behind the Preacher approaches the Ultimate Warlord. The Preacher delivers a low blow to the Ultimate Warlord. He then pulls the Warlord in and delivers the LAST RITES....1.........................2.....................3.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winner: The Preacher Time: 6:10
Post match: The Super Duper Masked Jobber King runs down the ramp and springs up to the ring apron, then to the top rope and delivers what started out as a frog splash, but ended up as a leg drop to the fallen Ultimate Warlord. After he executes the move, he sprints out of the ring, much to the delight of the crowd.
Dave: Wow, and double wow! What a display by two of the biggest men in the PCW, with Preacher coming out on top, then did you see the height the Super Duper Masked Jobber King had on that last move?
Steven: Yeah, but he weighs all over 125 lb! What is that all about?
Dave: Sigh.Must you see the bad in everything that is good?
Steven: Why yes, yes I must?
Dave sighs
Steven: Speaking of Big Men, what is Bertha, the Chef's "lovely" lady doing out here.
The camera peels away to show Bertha giggling and talking with the 800+ lb who was show earlier in the front row. The Chef comes out and Bertha and he exchange words for a moment, then the Chef has some animated words for the huge fat guy sitting in the front row before walking off.
Steven: As the Obese World Turns!
Dave: Oh, come on! It could be glandular!
Steven: Is that what you tell all the girls when you have trouble, uh, performing?
There is the sound of a slap then slight crying.
Dave: I would put you through the announce table, but we don't have one. If you are going to cry like a bitch, go some where else. We have a program to do.
Korn's Blind starts to play on the loudspeakers. As Jonathan Davis bellows "Are you ready?!" over the loudspeaker an explosion occurs at the entrance and smoke is left covering the entrance. The Joker slowly makes his way down the steel ramp and into the ring. Once in the ring he ignites a joker playing card on fire and climbs a random turnbuckle. He climbs to the top and holds the card above his head while the crowd cheers.
The Joker motions for the microphone and receives one.
Joker: First of all, I would like to thank the Phantom Booker for this great opportunity to kick VP-L's ass. I would like to thank whatever 90 year old woman seduced VP-L into getting into that box
Joker points up the ramp where the wooden crate is being put on a hand truck and carried to the ring.
Joker hops out of the ring and pulls out a golden crowbar from beneath the ring. The Joker laughs gleefully and rubs his hands together as the crate which reads "Fragile: Livestock" on its side.
Joker uses the golden crowbar and begins to break open the crate. He pops the top free and makes a face, as if there is a terrible smell. He peers into the crate.then he suddenly learchs back. As three, Koalas with white froth foaming from their mouth leap out of the crate and begin to attack Joker.
One of them begins to bite Joker's face, as one goes for the ankle. The third one latches onto you-know-where. Joker hits the ground and begins to roll around. PCW officials run out of the back with fire extinguishers to drive off the ravenous beasts, but only manage to make them angrier.
The Jumbotron flickers, then static appears. Suddenly the image stabilizes and VP-L can is shown laughing on the screen.
VP-L: Joker! You suck. You have always sucked and always will! Did you honestly think you could get over on me like that? Weak I say, very weak!
Dave: JESUS! What the f&*k! Someone call animal control!!!
The camera focuses in on the Koala chewing on Joker's nadular region. The crowd erupts into a PCW chant!
Steven is laughing too hard to utter ever a single word.
Dave: Oh the humanity!!! We have to go to a commercial!
The scene fades to a commercial as a rabid koala rushes towards the camera an bears its teeth.
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Tampex)
Dave: (sounds out of breath) Well animal control arrived and tranquilized the rabid koalas, while Joker was taken away in an ambulance by paramedics. It is time for our Tampex Main event of the evening
Suddenly the camera pans over to the top of the rampway. A gernie holding Joker suddenly appears and begins speeding down the ramp towards the ring. Kremmen then appears in the tunnel way. The gerney rams into the ring steps then flips up and over, pinning the strapped in and nibbled upon Joker beneath it. Kremmen looks on from the top of the steps and pumps his fist in the air, as if he just bowled a strike. He then smiles and mouths out "Two-for-two" and makes his way to the back.
Dave: My goodness. I think I have seen it all now! Hopefully we will have enough time to get this Extreme Title match in
Knox' entrance theme, "Rock the Party" by P.O.D begins to play then lights in the arena go out. When the music speeds up, white pyro blasts near the entrance. When they clear the "Future" is standing there. He begins to make his way down the alley way, but is immediately attacked from behind by Revenant and Scott Naket. The two men pummel him with kicks and double axe handles, then drag him to the ring and throw him in.
The bell rings. Referee Buzz Meacham admonishes Revenant from the ring, and he obliges, but not before tossing Naket a pair of brass knucks. Naket begins pounding away on Knox with the knucks and Knox goes down. Naket goes for a quick cover1Kickout. Naket picks Knox up and slings him into the ropes. As Knox bounces off Naket rears back and takes a big swing with the knucks, but Knox ducks the blow and slips behind Naket. He grabs Naket around the waist and hits him with a side slam. Naket grabs his back and flounders around on the mat. Revenant jumps up onto the ring apron, but Knox is too quick and catches him with a kick in the gut, followed by a Diamond Cutter, which sends Revenant off the ring apron to the ringside floor. Knox turns back to Naket, and finds himself kicked in the gut, then hit with The Hot Drop..1.2.kickout!!! So close!!! Naket locks on a rear chin lock. The ref asks Knox if he wants to quit, but the monster says no.The yellow hummer begins speeding down the aisleway. Naket breaks the hold, and slides out of the ring and tries to revive Revenant for some help. Derrik Diamond jumps out of the hummer and throws a trash can and a table into the ring. Knox sets up the table. Revenant gets up and charges Diamond. The two men begin trading punches and brawl into the back. Naket enters the ring. He and Knox circle, then lock up. The two men exchange standing amateur holds, with Naket eventually coming out on top in the exchange and taking Knox over with a German suplex. He immediately picks Knox back up and goes for a second German suplex, but catches an elbow in the chops. Naket grabs his jaw and Knox follows up by tossing Naket into the ropes. Naket comes off the ropes right into a well-executed Knox spinebuster. Naket is not moving. Knox picks up Naket and puts him into a torture wrack type submission manuever.The ref asks Naket if he wants to quit..Naket shakes his head no.
Meanwhile in the back, Diamond and Revenant continue to brawl. Then, The Reverend and Reverend Billy Blaze appear and begin to beat down Revenant. Diamond leaves the two holy men to their attack on Revenant and heads back out. The two Reverends lay waste to Revenant quickly and begin laying the boots to him. Then the lights in the back go for a second. When they come back on, The Preacher is standing behind the two Reverends. The two Reverend's turn around and right into the grip of The Massive Preacher. He grabs each one of them by the neck and lifts them both high to the sky, but before he can deliver the double chokeslam, The Ultimate Warlord appears and waffles The Preacher with his lead pipe. Preacher no sells the attack, and the two massive gladiators begin brawling away as the two Reverends slink off.
Back in the ring, Naket has slipped free of the torture wrack type hold by Knox and has slipped behind him. He hits him with a Russian Leg Sweep. Knox and Naket both get to their feet, and Knox catches Naket with a wicked standing clothesline. Knox picks up Naket and flings him into the ropes. Naket springs off the ropes, by Knox leaps over him.Diamond is running down from the back. Naket bounces off the opposite ropes and goes for a lariat, but Knox ducks it. Naket goes for a third rope bounce, but is caught with a punch to the back of the head by Diamond. He stumbles towards the middle of the ring into the waiting arms of Knox. Knox presses Naket high into the air, then moves him over towards the table. Then, hits him with FUTURESHOCK through the table. Naket is out cold. Knox goes for the cover..1.23!!!!
Winner: "The Future" Ryan Knox Time: 6:59
Knox and Diamond celebrate in the ring. Knox grabs the Extreme belt and holds it high above his head. Revenant stumbles out of the back to see his partner has lost and pulls out a cell phone and makes an animated phone call to someone.
Dave: What match!! Those two guys gave it their all!
Steven: Not what you know, but who you
Dave: Yeah, yeah, yeah! We are out of time! We will see you Friday night on Fusion! Good night everybody!!!