Tuesday Turmoil for Halloween
October 31st, 2000
From the First Union Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The show opens with a recap of Friday's Main Event between Kremmen and Meanstreak. A series of rapid fire still shots show Meanstreak riding a bull which butted Kremmen, then the mysterious Druid attacking Meanstreak and nearly costing him the match followed by Ryan Knox dumping the Druid out of the ring. Finally a three rapid succession stills of Meanstreak dumping Kremmen with At Death's Door and scoring the pin is shown.
The Turmoil Opening begins showing several wrestlers posing for camera shots in a flame engulfed, ruined city. Wrestlers highlighted are Judas Steele, Stewart Hix, "The Scholar" Howard Porter, Doug Troy, Kid Wonder, Ricky Nakawaga and the PCW World Champion, Meanstreak.
Finally the scene shifts to show children Trick or Treating around the streets of Philadelphia then quickly shifts into a sold our Corestates Center. 19,000 screaming, sign holding, mask wearing PCW fans are going nuts as pyro shoots from the entranceway and the ring posts.
Dave Kern: Hello everyone, and welcome to this Halloween Edition of Primetime Championship Turmoil. I am Dave Kern and along side me are Steven Smith and Jeff Marx. Jeff and Steven, we are coming off an absolutely chaos filled Friday Fusion.
Steven Smith: That show had a little bit of everything. We got to see over a half dozen PCW wrestlers arrested for kidnapping and/or assaulting PCW announcers and personnel, setting up this Friday's eight man, jail house, anything goes TV Title match at Pittsgrove Correctional Facility.
Jeff Marx: You know what else that show featured?
Dave and Steven: What?
Jeff: Bovine....(there is a sniffing sound) Smell them ratings boys and girls.
Dave: (sighing) On Friday, we saw an interference marred main event, which, when all the chaos was completed, saw the monster they call Meanstreak walk away with the PCW World Title belt.
Steven: That's right. The Joker masqueraded as referee/rodeo clown...
Jeff: Well, he is the latter, so I dunno about masquerading.
Dave: Good point, but we also saw the mysterious Druid attack Meanstreak during the main event and he probably would have cost Streak the match had he not received help from an unlikely source, the PCW Extreme champ "The Future" Ryan Knox.
Steven: Let's not forget that Knox is also 1/2 of the PCW Tag Team Champions along with his long time friend "3D" Devestating Derrik Diamond.
Jeff: Isn't Diamond that schmo who lost because he got ink from a fountain pen sprayed in his eyes?
Steven: (chuckling) That'd be him.
Jeff: Jesus, lucky for Knox and Diamond that they are taking on Excession perhaps the biggest jobber tag team to grace the ring since Disorderly Conduct.
Steven: You mean to say ya think Tough Tom and Mean Mike are jobbers?
Jeff: With names like those, who would have thunk it?
Dave: That's enough you two. As my two knucklehead announce partners just mentioned, Knox and Diamond will defend their tag time belts against MWF tag team champions, Excession. We will also see "The Scholar" Howard Porter go at it with Death Dealer tonight.
Jeff: Porter cheated to get a cheap win and the MWF Heavyweight Belt a little over a month ago, so tonight, my man, Death Dealer, will show the world he is the best of the best.
Dave: Yeah, if you say so...OK we have a jammed pack card tonight, so let's head to the ring.
KoRn's "Blind" starts to play on the loudspeakers. As Jonathan Davis bellows "Are you ready?!" over the loudspeaker an explosion occurs at the entrance and smoke is left covering the entrance.
The Joker slowly makes his way down the steel ramp and into the ring. Once in the ring he ignites a joker playing card on fire and climbs a random turnbuckle. He climbs to the top and holds the card above his head while the crowd cheers)
Clay Clayborne: First making his way to the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada.......JOKER!!!!
(Blur's "Song 2" starts to blare over the speakers and the crowd begins jumping up and down and cheering for The Main Man. He makes his way down the steel ramp slowly with his valet, the former porn star Alexis Star. He yells at all the fans who think they are worthy to touch him or Alexis. He steps into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle. He lifts his arms into the air listening to his name being chanted by the crowd as it echoed through the halls of the arena.)
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, hailing from St. Louis, Missouri.......THE MAIN MAN!!!!!
The two men got started in a collar and elbow tie up. Joker got the quick advantage and whipped the Main Man into the ropes. Main Man was greeted back by a big dropkick from Joker. Joker quickly grounded the Main Man with an arm bar. Man Main fought to his way to the ropes. Joker immediately broke the hold and rebounded of the ropes he came back with an attempt at a running clothesline but Main Man ducked and back dropped Joker out of the ring onto the floor. Main Man followed out. He lifted Joker to his feet and whipped him into the guardrail. Joker crashed into the guardrail hard and fell with a thud onto the floor. 1.............2.............3... Main Man brought Joker to his feet and body slammed him onto the concrete. 4...........................5..............Main Man slides back into the ring. 6.........7...................8..............9.. Joker slides back into the ring to break the count. Main Man immediately starts putting the boots to Joker. Main Man drops an elbow into the small of Joker's back and hooks the leg......1....................2......NO!!! Main Man brings Joker back to his feet and attempts to whip him into the turnbuckle but Joker reverses it sending Main Man crashing. Joker flies in with a big splash. He lets Main Man stumble out in a daze. Joker bounces of the ropes and drives Main Man down with a bulldog. Joker goes for the pin 1................2...............NO!!! Joker lifts Main Man up and delivers a belly to belly suplex. Joker quickly makes his way to the top rope he leaps of and goes for a body splash but Main Man rolls out of the way causing Joker to eat a face full of canvas. Main Man quickly pulls Joker up and sends him into the ropes. Main Man takes a wild swing but Joker ducks under. He quickly spins Main Man around and kicks him to the gut. Joker then quickly delivers THE JOKERS WILD.....1...............................2..............3!!!!
WINNER: JOKER Time: 4:12
Dave: That was a hard fought match, but the Joker came out victorious.
Jeff: Who the hell cares about those two guys. Get them out of the ring as quickly as possible so we can begin showing off some real talent.
Dave: Well, we are just about ready for our second match up, let's head to the back.
The scene shifts to the back. Stephen Blood is shown approaching the tunnel when and Johnny V attacks him from behind. The two men brawl their way to the ring. Blood gets the advantage hitting V with a series of rapid right hands. Finally he grabs Johnny V and throws him into the ring. Blood follows. He whips V into the ropes and takes him down with a big clothesline.
Boda charges out of the back.
Blood immediately turns his attention to Boda and begins pounding the big man with a series of rights as he enters the ring. Blood takes Boda over with an arm drag. Blood rebounds of the ropes and goes for an elbow drop but Johnny V interferes by delivering a drop kick to Blood. Blood topples over the top rope to the outside. V goes back to Boda but Boda has gotten back to his feet and nails V with a big boot. Boda drops a leg onto V and hooks the leg.......1................2........NO! Johnny V kicks out. Boda brings V to his feet and whips him into the corner. Boda follows in with a big splash. Blood makes his way back into the ring. He goes over and begins teaming with Boda to help work V over. They double Irish whip V into he opposite turnbuckle Boda follows in once again with a splash. Blood tries to follow behind Boda to squash both men but Boda moves. Blood nails V then stumbles back into a big clothesline from Boda. Boda brings Johnny V to his feet and winds up for a big right that is blocked by Johnny V. V starts delivering rights and lefts of his own. He drives Boda back into the corner and mounts him delivering a series of rights hands.......1...........2.........3........4.........5.....6.........7......8.........9.....10. V steps down and watches Boda fall to the mat. Suddenly V is spun around and gets a low blow delivered to him followed by a piledriver. Cover by Blood........1.................2.................3!!!
WINNER: Stephen Blood Time 2:56
Dave: Well, Stephen Blood with an impressive PCW debut.
Steven: Do you think Boda will ever string together enough wins to get a title shot?
Dave and Jeff: Nah!!
Dave: OK, we need to go to a commercial. We will be right back!
(Commercial: PCW Alliances, Live on Pay Per View, November 26, 2000. Call you cable company today....Steven Smith: It's not what you know, but who you know.)
The scene reopens in a prison laundry. Scott Naket is shown manning the steam presser. He presses a pair of boxer shorts, opens the presser, stops for a moment, then wipes his brow.
In a split second, Prisoner 61185 appears from around the corner and slams Naket in the back of the head with a hand held iron. Naket falls onto the open steamer61185 follows up by closing the steam presser on top of Naket. Naket lets out a scream of steam seared agony. Prisoner 61185 runs off just before Correctional Officers arrive at the scene.
Dave: OH MY GOD! That had to hurt!
Steven: Prisoner 61185 is a f^cking animal! At least Naket's hair will be straight.
Jeff: (monotone) I have no comment. Prisoner 61185 is a fine athlete and a good man.
Dave: What the hell are you talking about?
Jeff: (monotone) I have no comment. Prisoner 61185 is a fine athlete and a good man.
Dave: WhateverLet's go to our next contest.
Trumpets blare as Fenix walks out in his toga and Roman sandles.
Clay Clayborne: Already in the ring at this time.........FENIX!!!!!!!!
(Hisses, chants, rants, and boos fill the arena as the theme from the hit PBS show "The Frugal Gourmet" plays throughout the arena. The Chef and his lovely valet Bertha Stewart enter the arena and slowly walk down the aisle. )
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, hailing from Paris, France......CHEF!!!!
The two combatants lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. Chef quickly pushed Fenix into the ropes. It seemed that Chef was going to give a clean break but he quickly began delivering a series of wild punches. He whips Fenix into the ropes and delivers a back breaker over his knee. Chef rebounds of the ropes and splashes onto Fenix......1...............2......NO!! Chef whips Fenix into the corner.....Avalanche splash. Fenix stumbles out and falls flat on his face. Chef delivers a leg drop to the back of Fenix' head. He rolls Fenix over for the cover..........1..................2.......NO!!! Fenix gets the shoulder up. Chef starts to bring Fenix to his feet but Fenix nails Chef with a low blow. Fenix begins to work over Chef with stomps. He whips Chef into the ropes. Chef gets locked up in the ropes Fenix begins pounding Chef with rapid fire rights. Suddenly Two Ton makes his way out to the ring. He hops onto the apron and draws Fenix attention. Chef looks away from Fenix and Two ton. He seems to have his shut tightly. All of the sudden Two Ton turned and dropped his pants mooning Fenix. Meanwhile Bertha has unleashed Chef from the ropes. Fenix is blinded by horror form what he has just seen. He stumbles right into Chef's grips. Chef delivers the FILET MIGNON!!!.cover.........1...........2...............3!!!!!
WINNER: CHEF! Time:2:05
Jeff: My eyes! My eyes! On fire! I can not see.
Dave: (voice is slurred) That was the most horrific thing I have ever seen!
Steven: OH, THE HUMANITY!!!
Dave: Commerical! My kingdom for a commercial!
(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Maalox)
Dave: (speech still slurred) Welcome back to Turmoil. I believe that was more of Two Ton then we ever wanted to or needed to see of Two Ton!
Jeff: Hopefully that will be the last we see of that fat piece of crap for a long time!
Dave: Ok, I am told one of our reporters is standing by with one of PCW's top stars.
The scene shifts to the back where Pimply Faced Intern is standing with Two Ton. Jeff, Dave and Steven can be heard screaming in agony.
Pimply faced intern: Thanks guys, I'm here with Two Ton backstage.
Two Ton: They noticed. Anyway, this ain't abowt yew, it's abowt me havinsumthin ta say.Two Ton grabs the mic and steps away from the intern
Intern: Hey, how am i gonna get credit for this? I want to ask what the heck were
Two Ton ignores him and continues his interview solo.
Two Ton: Ya see ladies and gintilmins, boys an gurls, I had a hankerin fer sum good eatins today, and ya know what I did? I stopped by Old Country Buffet and had me 57 plates. I woulda had more, but I'm goin on a diet.
Intern: can I at least ask you some questions?
Two Ton: make it kwik, boy.
Intern: What about the Two Ton Invitational match?
Two Ton: glad ya asked twerp. Ya see, I may not know too much, but I know my buffays, and at Old Country Buffet, they treat me like a king. That's why when all those other punks compete for tha privlige of facin me, they will not only be competin for tha glory an honor an whatnot, they will be fightin for a chance at one of the most presteegis matches of all time. A shot at tha biggis man alive. A shot at tha bestdamn rassler in tha biznis! And if that ain't enough, they can do it all for tha cookies at the dessert buffay! Haha!
Two Ton licks his lips at the thought of cookies and his eyes glaze over.
Intern: What about the super heavyweight division you proposed?
Two Ton stares dreamily into space, then begins walking towards his imaginary cookie, smiling away.
The scene cuts back to the arena where a handsome, well built man is shown sitting in the front row. He has a title belt or some kind around his waste. He gives the peace sign and smiles for the camera.
Jeff: Who the hell is that?
Dave: Why, that's, Nate Dumas. The Primetime Indy Circuit's Heavyweight Champion!
Steven: Betcha he bought his own ticket.
Jeff: Probably here to see what real wrestler's do for a living!
Dave: Ok, while our incredibly insightful interview with Two Ton was going on, someone wheeled a Zantar Fortune Telling Machine out to the ring.
The scene cuts to the ring, where indeed a Fortune Telling Machine has been set up.
Steven: Isn't Kid Wonder supposed to be crushing DJ Raw right now?
Jeff: That is what is says on my schedule.
The arena gets dark, then fills up with smoke as "Straight Outta
Compton" by NWA starts to play. Then the arena lights up with pyro from all directions as DJ Raw makes his way to the ring.
Dave: What is this all about?
DJ Raw enters the ring and paces around waiting for Kid Wonder. After a few impatient moments he goes over and examines the machine cautiously, remembering what happened the last time he had interaction with such a machine. He checks all around the Machine, then looks on the top of the machine. Satisfied that there is no danger, he pulls a quarter from his pocket and begins to move towards the machine. Finally he begins to put the quarter in the machine..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZAP! A flash of light and a crackling noise is heard. DJ Raw's hair stands on end and he is thrown backwards. Suddenly "Zantar" from the machine begins to climb out of the machine. He walks over to a fallen and twitching DJ Raw and puts his foot on top of him. The ref counts12..3!!!!
Winner: Zantar the Swami Time: 1:30
Post match "Zantar" removes his turban and fake mustache revealing himself as Kid Wonder. He pulls a note pad out of his pocket and crosses another name off of his list.
Jeff: I don't know what sucks worse, that match, Kid Wonder's gimmick or DJ Raw's talent?
Steven: I am afraid that is a question that will plague mankind for eternity.
Dave: Well, let's head to the ring where two real wrestlers are going to go at it in a first blood match!
(The lights go down and the arena is bathed in a blue light. The 'Half Face' symbol is projected around the arena like a searchlight. A voice is heard announcing "Ladies and Gentlemen the Hardcore Icon Hex". 'Eye of the Tiger' hits, simultaneously a big explosion of Pyros erupts from the top of the ramp and when the smoke clears Hex is standing in the entranceway. With a focused look in his eyes he walks down to the ring . He climbs up onto the announcer's table and salutes the crowd before entering the ring)
Clay Clayborne: Now entering the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada...."THE HARDCORE ICON" HEX!!!
("Dead Bodies Everywhere" by Korn is the them music some pyro shoots off and Stewart Hix walks out lights up his joint and walks to the ring as the fans toss trash at him.)
Hix and Hex immediately began trading blows. Hex quickly got the best of it. He kicked Hix to the gut and ddt's him to the mat. Hex brought Hix back up quickly and body slammed him to the mat. Hex quickly rolled out of the ring and grabbed a steel chair. He places the chair in center of the ring. He brings Hix to the chair and piledrives Hix onto the steel chair. Hex quickly got on top of Hix and started pounding Hix with right after right. He then started to bite the cranium of Hix. Hix poked Hex in the eye to break the hold. The ref checked Hix but he was not bleeding. Hex charged back toward Hix but Hix once again gouged the eyes of Hex. Hix charged and slammed Hex down with a clothesline. Hix stomped Hex and then dragged him to his feet. Hix whipped Hex into the corner and charged in with a running clothesline. Hix then attempted to whip Hex across the ring into the opposite corner but Hex reversed. Hex tried to follow in with a running clothesline of his own but Hix ducked and back body dropped Hex. Hex lands on the apron and tried to strike Hix but Hix clotheslined Hex of the top rope sending Hex to the floor. Hix slides to the outside and begins pounding Hex with a series of stiff shots. he whips Hex into the guardrail. Hex collides with the guardrail with a thud. Hix runs toward Hex and leaps off the ring steps onto Hex. Hix makes his way over to the time keepers table and takes the bell. Hix charges toward a dazed Hex with the bell but Hex takes Hix down with a drop toe hold. Hix smashes to the ground and slams his head of the bell at the same time. Hex pulls Hix up by the hair and starts dragging him up the runway. Hex stops in the middle of the runway and powerbombs Hix onto the runway. Hix is totally out of it. Hex begins pummeling Hix with right hands. He brings Hix to his feet and begins to fight him back toward the top o the runway. Hex smashes Hix over the head numerous times with fists of fury that drive Hix toward the edge of the stage. Hex charges toward Hix and takes a wild swing but Hix catches Hex and delivers a HEAD AND ARM SUPLEX OF THE STAGE THROUGH A TABLE! Hix lies exhausted on the ramp as Hex lies unmoving on the floor. The ref makes his way over to check on Hex. Hex is gushing. He has a splinter of the table stuck in his cranium. It's all over Hex is the first to bleed.
WINNER: STEWART HIX!! Time: 7:09
Stewart Hix stands over a fallen and bloody Hex and talks trash. Hardcore Anthony Cay bursts out of the back carrying a steel garbage can and smashes into Hix' skull. Hix goes down and is busted open. HAC thumps smashes the can into Hix three more times, then spits on him and walks off.
Dave: Stewart Hix with and impressive win over the Hardcore Icon Hex!
Steven: His celebration was cut short by a shot from a trashcan though.
Trashcan Man emerges from the back shaking his head in disbelief. He picks up the dented garbage can with a look of anguish and pity on his face, then carries it to the back.
Jeff: You know, if there is anything worse than a crappy gimmick match, it is two crappy gimmick matches in a row. Let's head to the ring.
(Paradise City by Guns and Roses plays throughout the arena.)
Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring......ARCHANGEL!!!
("Fuel" by Metallica begins to play on the P.A. system as a figure appears at the top of the runway. Pyro goes off and he makes his way down the runway... It's Fuel. Blue strobe lights circle through out the arena as he steps into the ring. )
Clay Clayborne: And his opponent FUEL!!!
The perimeter of the ring becomes ignited in flames. Archangel removes his wings and tosses them into the ringside area. Fuel charges at Archangel and the two begin battle. Fuel slams the large Archangel down to the mat. Fuel works stomps Archangel a few times then drops an elbow in the center of Archangel's chest. Fuel brings Archangel to his feet and begins smashing him with a series of big forearms. He starts to push Archangel toward the flames. Archangel's face is literally inches away from the flames but he drives Fuel back with a series of elbows to the midsection. Archangel scoops Fuel up and delivers a thunderous body slam. Archangel then delivers a huge elbow drop. Archangel immediately mounts Fuel and begins pounding his head of the mat then delivers a series of lefts and rights. Fuel rolls Archangel over and starts blasting him with rights and lefts of his own. Fuel brings Archangel to his feet and goes for a suplex that is blocked by Archangel. Archangel delivers a brainbuster to Fuel. Archangel begins to drag Fuel toward the flames but Fuel starts to claw away. Archangel hoists Fuel onto his shoulder and delivers a running powerslam. Archangel locks on a trapezes nerve hold onto Fuel. He grounds Fuel out for several minutes. Fuel fights his way back to his feet and side slams Archangel to the mat. Both men are lying out of it on the mat surrounded by the inferno. Archangel gets to his feet first and lifts Fuel to his feet. Fuel drives a right hand into the midsection of Archangel. Followed by a kick to the gut. Archangel doubles over and is driven into the mat with a pedigree driver. Fuel brings Archangel to his feet and goes to whip Archangel into the flames but Archangel reverses it and Fuel heads to the flames but stops just before them. He turns back toward Archangel in relief but Archangel charges toward Fuel and annihilates Fuel with a huge running boot that lands Fuel into the flames. A rescue crew immediately rushes into the ring and extinguishes Fuel
WINNER: Archangel!!
Stephen: (singing) Burn Baby Burn!
Jeff: (singing) Disco Inferno!
Dave: Jesus, don't say thatnext thing you know he we will have a wrestler with a duck out here. Let's go to a commercial.
(Commercial: Scene Opens with Chef in a playground, Bertha is shown playing with children on a teeter-totter)
The Chef: Greetings, I am here to talk to you about the Little Johnson Foundation. This foundation exists solely to feed the "Little Johnsons" of the world.
(Bertha sits on the teeter-totter and launches a kid into the next time zone)
The Chef: If you can give any bargain bin ravioli or other canned goods you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole, please donate them to the "Little Johnson Foundation". Some kids like Kenny Johnson are too poor to afford food, so with your donations we can be sure that even the "Little Johnsons" get some... Thank you...)
When PCW returns from commercial, the scene opens to show a pair of hands wearing gloves filling a sock with quarters.
Dave: Huh? I wonder if that was another scene from the jail?
Jeff: I believe we are cutting away to another jail house love scene now.
The scene opens to show Precious Peter love and Boca del Inferno entering the shower of the prison. The are alone. The drop their towels, but steam obscures the nudity.
Boca looks over at PPL, and PPL blushes and looks away sheepishly. Boca continues to smile and PPL returns his glance, boldly this time. PPL reaches over for some soap, and drops it.
PPL: (acting poorly and obviously lying) Oh my, I seem to have dropped the soap! I suppose I should bend over and pick it up.
Boca picks up some soap and it pops from his hands.
Boca: (acting poorly and obviously lying) Oh now, I also seem to have dropped the soap! I suppose I should pick it up.
PPL: But Boca, I dropped the soap first!! I insist I pick up my soap first, then you can pick up your soap.
Boca: Ok buddy!
Boca approaches PPL as steam obscures the camera.
The scene shifts back to the arena where Jeff and Mark stare at the monitor. Steven licks his lips as beads of sweat form on his forehead.
Jeff: All right, which was worse, that segment, or Two Ton's fat, dimpled ass?
Steven and Dave look at Jeff with blank stares on their faces.
Jeff: Ok, let's go to the ring for a much anticipate matchup between Banshee and Prophesy.
Prophesy is already in the ring.
Banshee enters to the beat of African drums with the lights dim. He moves slowly out of the curtain at first, before running full speed into the ring.
Clay Clayborne: Now sprinting towards the ring, from somewhere not in the US, weighing in at 37lbs, Banshee.
Banshee enters the ring and lets out a keening wail which causes Prophesy to grab at his ears. Banshee seizes this opportunity to lunge forward chomp down onto Prophesy's sack. Prophesy screams out in agony as the tiny pygmy continues chomping away. He finally tells the ref he quits, and the ref calls the match.
Winner: Banshee Time:0:22
Post match Banshee calls for a microphone.
Banshee: Meanstreak, yousa see dat? I beesa comin' fer yo and yousa gonna die!
Dave: I am not sure what to do or say at this point.
Jeff: I know what to say.BANSHEE SUCKS! I know what to do, too. Steven, hand me a can of Raid!
Dave: Ok, let's go to a commercial.
(PCW Alliances Live in Pay Per View, Sunday, November 26, 2000.)
Dave: Ok, we are back. Now let's go to the ring for
"Brainless" by The Urge blasts the arena with its ska fury as Kid Wonder, dressed up as Doug Troy, walks out onto the ramp. Right behind him is Amanda, dressed up as Wonder Woman, and Christy, dressed up as PCW's presonal punching bag, Christina Aguilera.
Dave: Well I'll be damned
Jeff: I can't believe that there's actually a woman out there that HASN'T filed for social security that actually likes Doug Troy.
Jeff's mobile begins to ring.Then there is a sound of his mobile phone being smashed on the floor.
"Doug Troy" looks around, smiles, thens throw the sign of the Kliq into the air. He smiles again, walks to the ring, and poses on the turnbuckles for all of his admiring fans, (who are booing the hell out of him). All 3 of them appear to be carrying Halloween bags. Wonder reaches inside his bag and pulls out a mic.
Kid Wonder: Happy Halloween to all my Smackaholics out there!
The fans are booing him
Kid Wonder: It's about time you guys start to boo me. After all, I'm part of DAMN. Anyone that's with DAMN doesn't need to be cheered for. Plus I'm SO predictable. I remind myself of that song "Who Let the Dogs Out". he first few times you see me, it's entertaining, but after that, it gets boring and repetitive. If you want excitement, watch a Kid Wonder match. Now THAT'S excitement! You will get something new every time.
The fans continue to boo the fake Doug Troy. They start to chant for the real one. Wonder just looks over towards Wonder Woman, then thinks of something.
Kid Wonder: SUUUUUUUUUUUURGE!
Kid Wonder gives the thumbs up sign, leaves the ring, and heads to the announce table.
Dim lights alternate between the colors blue and white as Outkast's "Gasoline Dreams" bumps through the speakers and Cole Envy makes his way to the ring with Shimmer.
Clay Clayborne: Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Shimmer, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, at a weight of 216 pounds.......COLE ENVY
They stand in the middle of the ring as white pyro shoots out of two of the posts over blue lighting, then blue pyro shoots out of the remaining two posts over white lights.
The lights flicker out, the crowd are ooing and aahing, suddenly the blue strobe comes on as the theme to "The Blood The Sweat The Tears takes control" by Machine Head. The strobe shimmering around the arena looking for Lithium, the strobe stops as we see the star stood on top of the tron. His head lifts as the music bangs in and lowers himself down from a rope, unhooks himself and rips off his top and walks intensively down the ramp and slides under the ring and onto the buckles to get a pop from the crowd.
Clay Clayborne: His tag team partner, from Osaka, Japan, at a weight of 212 pounds.......RICKY "LITHIUM" NAKAGAWA
Jeff: Now Doug, with you being the #1 contender to the Crusierweight title, do you look at these two men and see contenders in them?
Dave: Gimme a break
Kid Wonder: Please Jeff, the match is about to start. You wouldn't want to miss anything that you wouldn't see in any of my matches, now would you?
Dave: Drop the act, we know it's you Wonder.
"P.S.I Cological" by Pitchshifter plays as DAMN makes their way out. Doug Troy plays up to the crowd while Pgod walks down to the ring with intent.
Dave: How do you explain this then "DOUG?"
Kid Wonder: That man is an imposter!
Clay Clayborne: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 440 pounds, Pgod and Doug Troy.......DAMN
Pgod enters the ring and goes right after Ricky. Cole gets in a few shots on Pgod, helping Ricky to get the advantage. Doug Troy just stands in his corner, eyeballing Wonder. RN whips Pgod into the ropes and takes him down with a hip toss. Pgod gets back up but Nakagawa takes him down again with an armdrag. He keeps hold of Pgod's arm and tags in CE. CE kicks Pgod int he ribs a few times, then whips him into the ropes. He goes down for a back body drop, but Pgod sees it coming and kicks Cole in the chops. Pgod then starts to chop away at Cole. He backs him into his corner and tags in DT. DT enters and goes right to work on Envy. He hits him a few times before taking him down with a suplex. Doug tags in Pgod. Pgod enters and starts to go back to work on Envy. Meanwhile, once Doug is in his corner, Wonder's 2 girls start to throw halloween candy at him. He is obviously not happy with this. He's about to go down and do something about it, but Pgod tags him in instead. Inside the ring, Pgod and DT are hammering on Cole. DT whips Envy into the ropes, blind tag from Ricky, and Doug takes him down with a dropkick. Doug turns around and says a few words to Wonder, then Nakagawa nearly takes his head off with a running lariat from behind. Pgod tries to get into the ring, but the ref won't allow him to. Meanwhile, Cole has gotten back up and they are double teaming DT. They back him up into the corner. Ricky kicks Doug a few times in the ribs, then tags Cole back in. Cole climbs up to the 2nd turnbuckle and starts to punch at DT's head. Once he gets down, he tags in Ricky. Ricky goes and stands in the center of the ring. Cole grabs DT and whips him toward Ricky. Ricky then grabs DT and takes him over with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Ricky makes the first cover of the match, 1.......2....DT kicks out. Ricky puts DT in a side headlock, drags him to the corner, then tags in Cole Envy. Cole enters, kicks at DT a couple times, then hits him with the Amplifier. Cole then signals for his finisher. Envy heads up to the top, then comes flying off for Envious but DT gets his knees up. Both men are down. DT rolls over and starts to crawl to his corner while Envy is rolling around, holding his ribs. CE gets to his corner and tags in RN. Lithium tries to get to DT, but DT is able to tag in Pgod. Pgod starts hammering away on Ricky. Cole tries to stop him, but he goes down. Ricky comes charging but is taken down with a clothesline. Pgod then measures Cole up and knocks him over the top rope. While Pgod barks at Cole, Ricky hits him from behind. The two of them start to brawl in the corner, then out of the ring. DT has gotten back up, sees Cole, then does a suicide dive onto Envy. Doug then gets up and punches Wonder at the announce table, knocking him over. The girls throw candy at him. Doug grabs one of the pieces and eats it, then rolls Envy back into the ring. Envy gets back up while Doug enters. CE swings at Doug, but DT ducks it. CE's momentum spins him around allowing DT to hit him with The Take. Pgod and Lithium are battling on the outside. DT makes the cover on CE.
Wonder:Alright, enough of this
Wonder grabs his halloween bag, leaves the broadcast position, and enters the ring. Doug realizes that there would be no count, so he gets off of Cole. Doug turns around to meet Wonder. Wonder hits DT in the head with that halloween bag, knocking him out. He then places CE on top of DT and leaves. The ref forgets about Pgod and Lithium and goes int he ring to make the count, 1.......2........3. Pgod tries to get back in but Lithium won't let him.
WINNERS:Cole Envy and Ricky Nakagawa TIME:9:48
Post-match, Kid Wonder opens the halloween bag a takes out a 2-liter bottle of Shazbot ORANGE SODA.
He opens it up, lets the fizz flow over the top, then takes a drink.
Kid Wonder: You can NEVER get enough of the Shazbot, eh Doug!
Dave: Well I don't believe it.
Steven: Me neither. I never thought a watered down soft drink could do wonders for a man's wrestling career.
Jeff: Shazbot is now officially my favorite drink!
Mack Daddy is shown walking through the back. Suddenly, a man wearing a mask similar to what was worn by the killer in the movie scream, appears and smacks Mack Daddy in the skull with a sock full of quarters. Mack Daddy is out cold.
Dave: Who do you think that was?
Jeff: I dunno, but I like him already! Speaking of people I like!
"War Pigs" from Black Sabbath hits the PA system as Death Dealer makes his way to the ring.
Clay:Making his way to the ring, from Gulfport, Mississippi, at a weight of 276 pounds.......DEATH DEALER
Once he enters the ring, red fire works explode behind him in the shape of a burning cross.
"Canon in D" by Johann Pachelbel graces the speakers as golds pyros begin to shoot off at the entrance.
Up on the Jumbotron a picture of a pulsating brain is flashed and "The Scholar" is slowly scrawled across it in gold cursive. "The Scholar" Howard Porter walks out from the back accompanied by The Dean. He snootily turns his head away from the crowd and he and The Dean walk down to the ring.
Clay:His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by The Dean, from Scottsdale, Arizona, at a weight of 235 pounds......."THE SCHOLAR" HOWARD PORTER
The scene cuts away to show Kremmen relaxing in a large beach house. He has his feet up. On a large screen is Turmoil, live, so he can see himself on the TV and smiles.
Dave: Looks Kremmen is keeping tabs on the goings on here in the PCW.
Jeff: Who cares, Death Dealer is about to demolish Harry Potter.
DD starts to stomp on Porter as he enters the ring. DD picks Porter up, whips him into the ropes, then takes him down with a drop toe hold. DD then starts to choke HP. The ref calls for a break and both men get back up. DD comes charging at HP, but HP drops him with a drop toe hold. Porter then puts an ankle lock submission on Dealer. DD is able to make it to the ropes. Dealer gets up and charges back at HP, but HP ducks the lariat attempt, grabs DD, then takes him over with a dragon suplex into a bridge, 1......2...DD kicks out. Porter applies a side headlock to DD. DD fights to get back to his feet, then pushes HP into the ropes. A leapfrog by Porter. DD then goes for a dropkick but HP hooks onto the ropes. DD is put back into a side headlock by Porter. This time Howard applies more pressure. DD seems to be out on the mat. The ref raises his arm, down for 1. He raises it again, down for 2. He raises it one more time, but it doesn't hit the mat. DD starts to fight back to his feet. He elbows Porter a few times, then pushes him into the ropes and locks on a sleeperhold. Porter isn't even in the hold for 5 seconds before he gets out of it by hitting DD with a low blow. Porter then drops Dealer with a DDT followed by The Stroke of Genius. Porter has the hold locked on, but DD won't quit. Out from the back runs The Ripper. He enters the ring and clubs Porter from behind. The ref calls for the bell.
WINNER via DQ:"The Scholar" Howard Porter TIME:4:04
Post-match, the rest of the NUO comes running down and it's a 6 on 1 against "The Scholar". Then out from the back runs The Think Tank. The NUO scatters out of the ring as "Canon in D" graces the speakers. Some words are exchanged between the two factions, but officials prevent any more physical action.
Jeff: Damn it! Howard Porter managed to cheat Death Dealer out of a victory again!
Dave: How do you figure that one?
Steven: I dunno, by why didn't "Snooples" stop Ripper from interfering.
Dave and Jeff: Who is "Snooples?"
Steven: I will explain everything over the break.
Dave: Ok, let's go to a commercial. When we return, Ryan Knox and Derrik Diamond will defend the PCW Tag Team belts against Excession in our Tampex Main Event of the evening.
(PCW Turmoil is brought to you by Tampex!)
Dave: Ok, let's head to the ring for our Tampex Main Event of the evening!
Clay: Our next match is for the PCW Tag Team championship.
"Starin at the Sun" flows across the arena and lights of red and blue flood the enterance, Linda, Mariah, Sol, and Viper show up at the top of the rampway. They make their way down and step onto the apron. They pause for a moment then Linda and Mariah sit on the second rope as Sol and Viper slide in.
Clay: Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Mariah Hoffman and Linda Schaney, at a combined weight of 399 pounds, The MWF Tag Team Champions Sol and Viper.......EXCESSION
Knox' entrance theme, "Rock the Party" by P.O.D begins to play. The lights in the arena go out. When the music speeds up, white pyro blasts near the entrance. When they clear the "Future", 3D Heather and Holly are standing there and they begin to make his way down the aisle. As they does, similar pyro blasts ignite along the sides of the runway.
Clay: And their opponents from Boston, Massachusetts, at a weight of 540 pounds. They are PCW Tag Team champions......."THE FUTURE" RYAN KNOX and "3D" Derrik Diamond
Knox is wearing what appears to be a brand new PCW Extreme Title Belt, which replaced the one that was burned Kid Wonder then it's ashes stolen by Boda.
The 4 ladies on the outside all eyeball each other while all 4 men are in the ring. Sol and Viper look at each other, then charge the PCW champs. Sol is on 3D while Viper is on Knox. Sol knocks 3D over the top rope. Meanwhile, Knox has gotten the upper hand on Viper. He easily picks Viper up, setting him up for the Future Shock early. Sol sees this and takes Knox's knee from out under him. Viper lands on top of Knox in a pinning combination, 1......2...Knox kicks out with authority. The ref is finally able to restore order. Viper and Knox are the legal men. Sol and 3D stand in their respective corners. Viper goes to whip Knox, but Knox reverses sending Viper into the corner. Knox comes charging but Viper moves out of the way. Viper then gets behind Knox and rolls him up, 1.......2....Knox kicks out. Knox comes charging, but Viper ducks his attempt at a lariat. Viper then delievers a stiff standing side kick to Knox. Knox doesn't go down though. Viper tries to kick him again, but Knox grabs his leg, then takes him down with a dragon screw legwhip right into a half crab. Sol comes in and hits Knox from behind causing him to release the hold.
There is movement from underneath the ring. The Preacher, slides out from under the ring.
Sol hits Ryan Knox down low then whips him into the ropes. Preacher jumps up onto the apron and hits Knox with a huge double axe handle sending him down to the mat with authority. Sol comes over and starts laying the boots to Knox. The ref comes over to yell at the massive Preacher, but finds himself grabbed by the throat and slammed to the mat courtesy a huge chokeslam. Preacher enters the ring. 3D runs in and tries to stop him, but gets a big boot to the face. Preacher continues towards Knox. Sol backs off, wanting no part of the 7'1, 373 lb Preacher. Preacher picks up a downed Knox and presses him high to the sky and hits him with LAST RITES!!!!
Dave: Oh my God! Ryan Knox has just been hit with Last Rights from The Preacher!
The scene shifts to the back where the NUO are watching the match from their dressing room. Death Dealer is on his cell phone not paying attention to the match.
Brock Newbludd: Hey Death Dealer, you hear that?
Death Dealer: Shhh! I am on the phone with you-know-who!
Brock Newbludd: Okaaaay, but do you happen to know the name of Preacher's finisher?
Death Dealer: (annoyed) No! Enlighten me!
Brock Newbludd: Last Rites. Catchy, isn't it?
Death Dealer gets a crazed look in his eyes and storms out of the NUO dressing room.
Meanwhile back in the ring, The Preacher stares at Knox then leaves the ring and slowly walks up the aisle, not paying attention to the boos of the crowd. Sol is covering Knox, but there is no ref to count. Viper rushes over and begins attempting to revive the ref. The ref begins to stir. He makes the count..1..2No!!! Knox kicks out. Sol is frustrated and climbs to the top rope. He goes for a leg splash on Knox, but Knox rolls out of the way. Both men are down. Sol seems to have injured his back from the impact of the fall. Knox begins to get up. He picks up Sol and sets him up for Future Shock. Viper runs in and puts a stop to that with a stiff right to Knox' jaw. 3D comes charging into the ring and all hell breaks loose. All 4 men are going at it. Viper and 3D and Sol and Knox. The ref just lets the 4 men battle it out.
Preacher reaches the top of the ramp and turns to view the action. He is suddenly spun around and receives a kick to the gut from an enranged Death Dealer. Preacher doubles over, and Death Dealer sets him up for his own version of Last Rites..and executes it, sending Preacher off the ramp and throw the wooden stage below. Preacher is not moving.
Jeff Marx: Death Dealer has just hit his Last Rites powerbomb on Preacher and put him through the wooden stage!!
Steven: Well they both have Last Rites, but who has the legal rights?
Dave: I dunno, but it is certainly the stuff that PPV Matches are made of.A Last Rites match has a certain ring to it!
The four men continue to battle it out in the ring. Then the lights go out for a moment, then suddenly come back on. The Druid is standing on the ring apron.
Steven: It's that Druid again!
"The Druid" enters the ring and cracks "The Future" over the head with his ceremonial staff. Knox goes down. The ref has had enough and calls for the bell.
No Contest Time: 6:32
The Druid continues to slam his staff down upon a fallen Ryan Knox. 3D comes over to help his partner but Excession stops him. Viper works on Diamond. Viper then sets Diamond up as they Sol heads up top. Viper picks Diamond up, then Sol comes flying off and they hit Derrik with Equinox. Both Knox and Diamond are down as Excession exits the ring.
Supernova Goes Pop" by Powerman 5000 play and out of the back charges the PCW Heavyweight Champion, Meanstreak! He bounds up to the ring apron the slings himself over the ropes. The Druid turns to face him, but gets absolutely leveled up and over the ropes by a Meanstreak lariat.
The Druid crashes to the ground on the outside and Meanstreak lets out a roar. The Druid climbs to his feet and points his staff at Meanstreak. Meanstreak responds by pointing one of his arms at The Druid and one at a recovering Ryan Knox, then he points to himself.Then finally, he points to Knox' Extreme Title belt and the World Championship Belt around his own waist. Then with one earth shaking roar he let's bellows
Meanstreak: FRIDAY!!!!!!
As soon as he gets the words out of his mouth, all three members of DAMN hit the ring. PCW Continental Champion Frisco hits Meanstreak with a chair to the back, but the Monster merely stands up straight and no sells the shot. Frisco looks on in fear as Meanstreak reaches out and grabs. Pgod charges in but finds his own stable mate thrown at him by Meanstreak. The airborne Frisco collides with Pgod and the two slam into the corner fall into a twisted heap. Meanstreak roars and pounds his chest in triuphantly. A kick to the crotch from behind cuts turns the monster's roar into a scream of agony. He finds himself spun around and is quickly hit with THE TAKE onto the chair that Frisco brought with him to the ring.
DT pumps his fist into the air then points to Meanstreak and begins talking trash. He then pulls a microphone out of his back pocket.
Doug Troy: You know, three's a crowd guysbut four is this Friday's Main Event! Count me in!
The camera shoots around to show the Druid pointing his staff up at DT, then to Ryan Knox who is up to his feet and spitting out a bloody luger, the next shot shows DT posing on one of the turnbuckles then finally to a still groggy Meanstreak.
Dave: Whoa! We have what a main event we have slated for Friday's main event! Doug Troy, Ryan Knox, "The Druid" and Meanstreak will go at it for World and Extreme title belts. Couple that with the jail house brawl for the TV Title and three way dance for the Continental Belt, Friday is gonna prove to be a PPV quality card! That is all the time we have! Good night everybody!