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from the Value City Arena in Columbus, Ohio.

(The scene opens to a new camera crew team testing some equipment to get set for the upcoming PPV. Just as they make the final preparations to their equipment a Hurst races by smattering them with dust and small rocks.)

Rookie Cameraman: Damn! We are definitely gonna need to clean that lens again!

Rookie Driver: Wait! Did you see who was driving that thing?

(The camera crew jumps in their van and speeds off after the Hurst.)

Rookie Cameraman: Make a left! They flew down that back alley!

(The cameraman pulls up behind the vehicle and follows the recklessly driving maniac. The Hurst flies through a series of amber and red lights and jumps onto an on-ramp headed towards the local 4-lane highway. As the Hurst rumbles up the interstate, the driver recognizes who is behind the wheel!

Cameraman: There!! He's on the interstate!!

Driver: That's the Preacher driving that Hurst and he had a strange look on his face. It looked as if he were smiling!

Cameraman: Smiling? Hey wait, wasn't he taken away in a straight jacket?

Driver: I don't know, but let's follow. This is bound to get us noticed by the boss. Maybe even get us a raise.

(The driver spins the van around almost getting two wheels in the air and pops it in reverse. He then neutral drops into drive and takes off.)

Cameraman: (sniffing) Do you smell that?

(Smoke starts to pour up from the transmission of the PCW van, but they are able to follow at a distance keeping the Hurst in view.)

Driver: Shit, I think we blew a tie rod.

Cameraman: Keep moving! We aren't going to let the Preacher get away! This is great stuff!

(With that the Hurst takes off and disappears into the distance leaving the smoking and almost incapacitated van chugging up the highway slowly.)

Driver: Damn it!!

(The van malfunctions and stops abruptly as the scene fades to black)

The usual Turmoil opening promo showing PCW wrestlers in a burning, ruined city begins. Wrestlers highlighted are Trashcan Man, Ricky Nakagawa, Bang Peterson, The Preacher and PCW Cruiserweight Champion Kid Wonder.

The scene fades back in to show the outside of the Value City Arena in Columbus, Ohio as the Yellow Hummer pulls into the parking lot. The hummer makes it way to a desolate part of the parking lot then disappears behind some parked vehicles.

The scene then shift to the inside of the arena. Pyros shoot up from the ring posts and the entryway as lights whirl around the arena and the cameras stop to focus on several sign holding PCW fans throughout the crowd.

Dave Kern: Hello and welcome to PCW Tuesday Turmoil. I am Dave Kern and along side me, as always, are my partners in crime Jeff Marx and Steven Smith. Guys, we are just a few short days away from PCW Alliances and the teams are scrambling to sure up their rosters.

Jeff: That's right. I have personally been contacted by DAMN and Asylum and asked to be the fourth members of their teams, but I told both teams that Jeff Marx does not truck with jobbers.

Dave: Uh, yeahwhateverWe have a busy card this evening, so let's head to the ring for our first match.

On the Jumbotron a message written in blood appears saying "IT'S TIME!!!" The message then says IT'S TIME FOR KARNAGE as some crappy Heavy Metal rifs begin. There is an explosion and Karnage King enters the arena on a blood red coloured Harley Davidson. He then enters the ring climbing on each turnbuckle and sticking his middle fingers up to the crowd. The crowd boos.

Clay Clayborne: Now on his way to the ring, hailing from who knows where, weighing in at 360lbs, Karnage King!

The lights begin to flash red, "Hit the Lights" by Metallica hits

over the PA as Shadowman makes his way to the ring accompanied by his life companion The Ultimate Warlord.

Clay Clayborne: And his opponent, from somewhere, weighing in at 460 lbs, Shadowman!

Shadowman gets the early advantage by thrusting a knife edge chop into the throat of Karnage King. Shadowman follows in with a clothesline that sends Karnage King crashing to the mat. Shadowman stomps away at Karnage King. Shadowman pulls KK to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Shadowman goes for a big boot but KK ducks under and fires back with a diving lariat that sends Shadowman to the canvas. KK goes to the second rope and leaps off delivering a knee drop to the head off Shadowman. Cover 1......2.....NO!! KK pulls Shadowman to his feet and goes for a scoop slam but Shadowman blocks it. Shadowman delivers a crushing elbow to the back of KK's head that drops him to a knee. Shadowman grabs the back of KK's head and starts delivering a series of rapid knee strikes to the face of KK. Shadowman pulls KK back to his feet and delivers a running powerslam. Cover 1.......2......NO!! Big J sprints out of the back with a chair in hand. Shadowman pulls KK to his feet and sends him into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but KK ducks under. KK rebounds off the ropes only to be nearly decapitated by a big boot from Shadowman. Shadowman pulls KK to his feet and delivers the shadowdrop....1..........2...........No!!! Big J enters the ring and smashes Shadowman with a chair. The ref immediately calls for the bell.

Winner by DQ: Shadowman Time: 3:01

Dave: So Shadowman picks up the DQ victory!

Jeff: Does anyone cares?

Steven: I know I don't!

Dave: And ladies and gentlemen for the first time in his warped, twisted, sexually confused life, I believe Steven actually spoke for the general public on that one!

Steven: I am not sexually confused! I am completely in touch with my masculine side.

Jeff: Uh

Post match, The Legion duke it out with Big J and Karnage King until a sea of referees break up the carnage.

Dave: A glimpse into things to come at Alliances perhaps?

Suddenly, the Jumbotron bursts into an explosion of static. The camera shifts there.

.The scene shifts to a wrecker driving off with the broken down van and the cameraman loading stuff into another PCW van. The driver hangs up his cell phone.

Dave: Ok, what we are viewing here what happened after last week's Fusion. One of our crews was lucky enough to catch some of this footage.

Driver: Sheesh, boss man is livid that not only did we lose the Preacher, yet we also blew up his van! He said that if we don't locate the Preacher we could kiss our jobs goodbye!

Cameraman: You dork, what are you waiting for! Lets roll!

(The Camera crew rides around for about 20 minutes and getting themselves completely lost.)

Cameraman: Man, this is hopeless. I just got this job. Do you think unemployment will be understanding?

(The Driver just shakes his head in disgust about the whole ordeal.)

Cameraman: HEY! Over there!(The Driver, slowly this time, stops the van and looks in the direction the Cameraman points to and sees the Hurst parked next to an abandoned church.)

Driver: YES!

The crew quickly jumps out of the van and moves feverishly towards the church entrance. As they approach the doors they hear a commotion. The cameraman peers in and sees three men surrounding the Preacher. The three men are BA Bruiser, Ryan Knox and Ripper.

The inside the church however is a smoky aura that was not apparent from outside. The lighting that is illuminating the interior isn't apparent. Yet, there is light coming from somewhere. The air is thick and still. What you don't understand is that the three men seem to be talking, yet there is no sound coming from their mouths. It's as if there is some sort of incantation made to silence anyone who enters the premises. The Preacher has a look on his face like he is the cat that just ate the bird.

The Cameraman pans the scene and sees Mercedes out cold and barely clothed hung on the large wheel in the shape of a pentagram. Panning a bit more is another shape possibly Derrick Diamond hung on a cross.

Cameraman whispering to the Driver: Where is the Reverend?

(The driver shrugs his shoulders.) As Knox and BA Bruiser hold both arms of The Preacher, Ripper goes and frees Mercedes and Diamond from their shackles. He then takes them and gently lays them on theground. It's also apparent that he is frantically looking for someone else. Below is for those of you that can read lips."

Ripper: Preacher! What have you done with Reverend!

The Preacher begins to laugh. It's the only hauntingly eerie sound that can be heard in the church confines.)

Preacher: You Cannot have the holy man.

Preacher: He Does not belong to this plane of existence anymore foolish boy.

(Just as he says this the Preacher stomps his foot down on a slip plate that no one but The Preacher would've known was there. A dull flash occurs and a puff of green smoke starts to pour in from the floor.)

Preacher: Escape if you can

(The Preacher disappears from sight..)

Echoed Voice of the Preacher: For Your time will come to face my maker.

(The demonic laughter of the Preacher is heard as the scene fades out.)

Dave: So, Derrik Diamond and Mercedes have been rescued!

Steven: I bet Mercedes liked being shackled and proded by that hulking mass of ablino

Dave: (interrupting) Whoa!!

Jeff: Where's Mark Malloy when you need him?

Dave: Huh?

Jeff: Nevermind.

Dave: Ok, that video clip ran a little long. We need to head to a commercial.

(Commercial: The following words appear in white print on a on a black screen. In between each

set of words, one of the PCW stables is shown. Three rings.....surrounded by a cage......divided by a cage......30 plus men........four title shots......Who can you trust?

"Join Together" from the Who begins to play as a graphic for "PCW Alliances" hits the screen. Then the white letters hit the screen again......Sunday, November 26th, 2000......Live on Pay-Per-View.......Call your cable company today!)

Dave: Welcome back! Ok, Psyke and Hate Monger are already in the ring and the match already in progress!

Psyke gets to the business at hand quickly he begins smashing Hate Monger with a series of lefts and rights that drive Monger into the corner. Psyke is unrelenting in his blows and beats Monger until he drops down to the mat curled in the fetal position. Psyke then begins stomping away at Monger. He yanks Monger to his feet and sends him across the ring into the opposite turnbuckle. Monger stumbles out in a daze and is drilled by a diving shoulder smash from Psyke. Psyke covers.1........2....Kickout by Hate Monger! Psyke locks in a side headlock. After a few moments Monger works his way to his feet and lifts Psyke up and drops him into a knee breaker to escape the hold. Hate Monger locks on a figure four. The ref is asking Psyke if he wants to give up. Psyke will not give it up he slowly starts making his way to the ropes but they still are out of his reach. Finally Psyke reaches the ropes. Monger releases the hold and immediately starts working Psyke over with a series of stomps. Hate Monger drops a series of elbow's onto Psyke and goes for the cover..1.........2...NO!! Hate Monger whips Psyke into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Psyke ducks under. Psyke counters with a clothesline of his own that sends Hate monger crashing to the mat. Psyke pulls Hate Monger to his feet and attempts to send him into the ropes but Monger reverses it and sends Psyke into the turnbuckle. Hate Monger follows in with a splash but Psyke moves out of the way. Psyke rolls Hate Monger up from behind.1...........2............3!

Winner Psyke Time: 3:32

Dave: So, Psyke is victorious in his PCW debut!

Jeff: Hate Monger didn't have.

(Suddenly, the PCWtron erupts into a storm of static, as it has been prone to do in recent weeks. When the static fades, the picture is not that of Turmoil, but that of a filled courtroom. Standing at the head of the courtroom is the Brooklyn Brawler?)

Dave: What the hell is going on?

Jeff: Hey, have we signed the Brooklyn Brawler?

Baliff: "Would the prosecution please take their seat?"

(The doors at the back of the courtroom open, and a thin mustachioed man in his early 50's enters.)

Baliff: "District Attorney Don Atkins. Would the defense please take their seat?"

(The man takes a seat as the doors open once more, revealing Johnny Cochrane, followed closely by Delores Marx. They take their seats as well.)

Baliff: "All rise for the honorable Judge Mills Lane."

(A door opens toward the front of the courtroom, and out steps Mills Lane, clad in his judge's robe. He takes his seat at his upraised platform and begins to speak.)

Mills: "Alrighty, let's get this clam bake started! I've got to ref a Celebrity Death Match at 7 tonight! Should be a doozy, too! So, what's the case again?"

Baliff: "The People versus Dolores Marx, Judge."

Mills: "Hey, ain't you that Brooklyn Brawler guy from that WWF show? Why are you my baliff?"

Baliff: "To tell you the truth, sir, I need the money."

Mills: "Oh well anywho, let's get this thing going. Mister Atkins."

Atkins: "Please, call me DA."

Mills: "Okay, DA. You may start with the opening statements."

DA: "Thank you."

(DA stands up and brushes the wrinkles out of his suit. He saunters over to the jury and pauses for a few seconds.)

DA: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Today, my mission is to prove to you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Dolores Marx is a psychotic sex-fiend who deserves to be locked up for life. Thank you."

The camera ever so briefly shifts back to the arena where a stunned Jeff Marx is shown with his lower lip quivering. Then the scene shifts back to the court room.

(DA smiles and walks back to the table. Mills shakes his head in amazement at the shortness of the statement.)

Mills: "Well hot damn! I might be able to squeeze a golf game in at this rate! Your turn, defense."

(Johnny stands up and strides up to the jury, ultra-confident.)

Johnny: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today I'd like to point out a grave injustice that has been committed. A horrific misdealing of justice indeed. Ladies and gentlemen, today Mister DA would have you believe that Delores Marx is a fiend of the highest order! That she is a monster with no regard for human life! Just look at her! Is that the face of a woman who'd kidnap somebody? No, it's the face of someone who'd give you a slice of apple pie when you asked for it. That is the face of somebody who is being DISCRIMINATED against! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am playing the 'Age Card' so to speak. I am going to show how the man is keeping my client down on a daily basis! How she is being discriminated against! Oh, it is an outrage, and I am here to correct the outrage that put this woman in court!"

Mills: "I think that's enough, Mister Cochrane."

Johnny: "SEE?! THE MAN IS TRYING TO KEEP ME DOWN! REBEL! FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT! IF THE UTERAL DAM DON'T FIT, YOU MUST ACQUIT!"

(Suddenly, several men in white coats rush in and cart Johnny, who is babbling about 'F. Lee Bailey stealing my cookies', off. Missus Marx stands up, hand raised.)

Marx: "Your honor, I will be happy to represent myself in court."

Mills: "I'll allow it."

(The feed suddenly fades back to static)

Jeff: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dave: Ladies and gentleman, my colleague Jeff Marx' mother!

Jeff: I told you, Mabel King, best known for her role as Momma on the popular 70's TV comedy "What's Happening" is my momma!

Dave: (chuckling) Jeff's mom also maintains a website, www.iluvdt.com, check it out! OK, we are ready to head to a local Jiffy Lube here in Columbus, Ohio. The winner of this "Anything Goes Jiffy Lube Brawl" will receive a shot at the PCW Extreme Title at Alliances!

The competitors have all huddled inside the Jiffy Lube. The rain outside is coming down in sheets. Speedy Riggs jumps down on the wire outside, sounding a bell to start the match.

Miyagawa and The Trashcan Man surround Big J, smile at each other, and then proceed to start beating the hell out of him. The blows are coming fast and furious, they throw haymaker after haymaker. Somehow, Big J isn't losing consciousness.

Jon Kano and Rage have started focusing on each other. Rage rakes Kano across the eyes. He grabs a tire iron, brings his arm back to swing it at Kano, but his arm is grabbed by The Preacher. Preacher whips Rage into the wall, then hits Kano across the forehead with the iron. Preacher slowly walks to the side of the room, leaving Kano flat on his back on the ground.

Dave: The Preacher is here and involved in this match?

Jason Knight works his way over to the waiting room. He sits down, laughing to himself, content with letting the others fight it out amongst themselves. He then moves over to the vending machine, and takes the last pair of Twinkies. A growling voice behind him says, "I F%$#^NG SAW THAT S%#T FIRST!!!!". Bertha comes over and grabs Knight, and slams his head into the glass on the vending machine. She delivers a nasty legdrop. Knight is not moving. Bertha goes for the cover as Speedy Riggs comes into the room. ........1.........2........3! JASON KNIGHT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Revenant is having some problems with Rage. Rage picks up Rev and hits him with a body slam. Rage heads over to the side to grab a wrench. Revenant is slowly getting to his feet. Rage waits for him to get up. Revenant has his back turned to Rage. He starts to turn, and Rage starts to swing the wrench. But Rage's arm is hit by a tire iron. Preacher takes Rage and hits him with a neckbreaker. Preacher then leans leisurely back against the wall again. Revenant, the beneficiary, goes for the cover. ........1........2.......3. RAGE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Revenant notices Kano on the ground right next to Rage. He doesn't see what happened. And he really doesn't care either. He covers. .........1........2.........3! JON KANO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

TCM and Miyagawa have sufficiently knocked out poor Big J. They're trying to decide who pins him. After playing a game of "Rock, Paper, Scisscors" they decide Miyagawa gets to do it. But Big J has finally woken up, and leg sweeps Miyagawa to the ground. TCM grabs Big J, however and gives him a quick kick to the stomach. TCM THEN LANDS THE PYRO DRIVER! TCM goes for the cover. .......1.......2.......3! BIG J HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! Miyagawa thanks TCM and they move back into the frey.

Bang Davenport and Dan Hollywood are having an epic battle. They've worked their way up some stairs and into the Manager's office. They continue to trade blows as they walk through the door. Bang manages to get an extra shot in, allowing him time to grab a stapler. He smashes it into Hollywood's head. Dan Hollywood falls to the ground. Bang walks over to the desk and grabs the computer monitor off the desk. He lifts it high over his head. Hollywood manages to grab a bottle of motor oil. He tosses some oil on the ground at Bang's feet. Bang slips on the oil, and loses control of the monitor. The monitor lands directly on Bang's stomach! Hollywood goes for the cover. ........1........2........Bang kicks out. He slowly tries to get to his feet, but he keeps slipping up on the oil. Hollywood grabs a chair and breaks it over Bang's head! Bang finally stops trying to get up. Hollywood goes for the cover again. .........1........2........Bang kicks out again! A stunned Hollywood can't believe Bang kicked out again. He finally decides to take the manager's desk. He tips it over, right on top of Bang! Bang quits moving. Hollywood AGAIN goes for the cover. .......1........2.......3! BANG HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Revenant is battling Clyde in the center of the car examination area. Revenant is not faring well. Clyde lands three consecutive right hands. Clyde then legdrops him. He picks Revenant up and hits an atomic drop. Clyde is having no trouble right now. Clyde grabs Revenant, and locks in a sleeper hold. Preacher runs over to them, and whacks Clyde in the back of the head with the tire iron. Preacher then grabs Clyde, and presses him high in the air. Then he throws Clyde into the center pit!!!!

Preacher: "That will teach you to harm those younger and weaker than you."

Revenant, once again thankful for Preacher's help, climbs down the ladder and places one foot on Clyde. Riggs is in position to make the cover. .......1.......2........3! CLYDE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Steven: "How the hell is Riggs able to be in position for every one of these covers?"

Dave: "Speedy is just that good."

Revenant climbs back up out of the pit. He walks right into the waiting arms of Miyagawa. Revenant looks over to Preacher, hoping for a little more help. But Bertha and Hollywood are both working him over. A look of fear comes over poor Revenant. TCM and Miyagawa both lift Revenant up, and he goes down the pit! This time Miyagawa goes for the cover. .......1........2.......3! REVENANT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Bertha and Hollywood each have a hubcap, and they are beating Preacher within an inch of his life. Bertha climbs up onto a workbench, SHE LANDS PMS! Speedy comes over to make the count. ........1.......2........3! THE PREACHER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Hollywood: "You know, I was wrong about you. You aren't so bad after all."

Bertha: "THANK YOU VERY MOTHER F#^#(NG MUCH!"

Hollywood: (sniffs)"Say....do I smell a pot pie?"

Bertha: "POT PIE????? Where!?!?! I'M SO F#&%^NG HUNGRY!!!"

Bertha turns her back on Hollywood. He grabs the tire iron Preacher was using and smacks Bertha in the back of the head with it. Hollywood goes for the cover. ......1.......2......3! BERTHA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

TCM and Miyagawa make their way towards Hollywood, as this looks to have turned into a handicap match. Hollywood picks up the tire iron and tries to fend them off. But TCM and Miyagawa both have hubcaps of their own. They finally get to him and start doubleteaming him. They kick him a few times while he's down. Miyagawa picks Hollywood up and holds on to him. TCM searches the building for something good to hit Hollywood with. He finds an engine block, picks it up, and walks back to Miyagawa and Hollywood. TCM goes to crush Hollywood with the block, but Hollywood ducks out of the way at the last second, and Miyagawa is clocked with it! Hollywood goes for a quick cover. ........1........2.......TCM tries to break up the count.........3.....but can't do it in time! MIYAGAWA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Hollywood gets up to his feet. He then catches a tire iron to the face. TCM is visibly upset. He picks up the engine block and knocks Hollywood out with it! TCM goes to cover. ........1........2........3! DAN HOLLYWOOD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!

Winner: The Trashcan Man Time: 11:04

Dave: Whoa! What a match! Trashcan man will face Boda and Homicidal Anthony Cay at Alliances with the Extreme Title on the line!

(Once again, the screen erupts into static on the PCWtron before showing the courtroom.)

Jeff: (disgusted) Oh, what now?"

DA: "The prosecution would like to call Mister Doug Troy to the stand."

Baliff: "Doug Troy!"

(Someone in the back pushes the 'Play' button on a boombox as Doug Troy enters the courtroom. 'Brainless' blares from the box as Doug struts up to the front of the court and takes his seat in the witness stand. The Baliff walks over to Doug and raises a Bible, which Doug puts his right hand on.)

Baliff: "Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

Doug: "I do."

Mills: "GOOD GAWD! COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN THAT CRAP OFF?!"

(Mills chucks his gavel at the guy with the boombox. The gavel strikes the guy's forehead, making a rather large circular indentation. The guy's eyes roll into the back of his head as he slumps over. The Baliff walks over to the fallen guy, takes the boombox, and throws it into the middle of the room. The music skips, but continues to play as the Baliff steps up next to the boombox and rolls up his sleeves. He looks around, raises an eyebrow, then proceeds to drop a couple elbows on the boombox, which skips everytime but continues to play. Enraged at the ineffectiveness of his elbow drops, the Baliff picks the boombox up and gives it a DVD. That does the trick, and the boombox is shattered all over the courtroom floor.)

Mills Lane: "Thank you, Baliff. You may start your questioning now, Mister DA."

DA: "Thank you. Mister Troy, may I call you that?"

Doug: "Yes, you may."

DA: "Okay. Mister Troy, what happened a week and a half ago isn't just an isolated incident, is it?"

Doug: "No, it wasn't. For the past 3 months, Missus Marx has been stalking me."

DA: "Yes. 2 months ago, didn't Missus Marx ambush you during a live internet radio broadcast?"

Marx: "Objection! Subject is leading the witness."

Mills: "I'll allow it! Sit down, Missus Marx!"

Marx: "Well I never!"

Doug: "That's quite obvious. Who WOULD want to get with Madam Marx anyway? As I was saying, yes she did ambush me during a live radio broadcast known as MWF Aftermath. After a wrestler who is no longer employed to my knowledge hit me with a Singapore cane, Missus Marx attacked me and then proceeded to disrobe and give me a lap dance."

DA: "Thank you. Now, if you'd be so kind, could you go over the events that occurred on the night of November 7 of the year 2000?"

Doug: "Yes. A wrestler known as Kid Wonder entered my dressing room and injected me with a large amount of Morphine. After drugging me, Missus Marx entered the room and proceeded to tear the place apart, all while in the nude."

DA: "Did she violate you in anyway?"

Doug: "No, thank God. She only trashed the room."

DA: "But that wasn't the end, was it?"

Doug: "No, it wasn't. After the event, I was attacked in the back by a masked man and thrown into the back of the trunk. While in the trunk, I lost pretty much all judgment of time. The next thing I can remember clearly is me being chained up by the masked man and Missus Marx in her den."

Marx: "Objection, your honor! Doug's talking about it like it was a bad thing!"

Doug: "It WAS a bad thing, you skanky old tuna farm!"

(Mills bangs the gavel repeatedly.)

Mills: "ONE MORE OUTBURST LIKE THAT AND YOU ARE BOTH OUTTA MY COURTROOM! OBJECTION OVERRULED!"

Doug: "I apologize, your honor."

DA: "Now, when you were in her den, what took place? I know that this may be an emotional subject for you, but please answer."

Doug: "What happened? Nothing, really. She got dressed up in her *shudders* outfit while I hung from the ceiling in my boxers."

DA: "And then the police showed, preventing what might have happened."

Doug: "Yes. Thank God."

DA: "No further questions, your honor."

Mills: "Defense's witness."

(The DA sits down while Delores Marx stands up and slinks in a seductive way over to Doug, who cringes and leans away from her.)

Marx: "Mister Troy, if that is your real name."

Doug: "Yes it is, you old goat."

Marx: "Oh, yer just saying that to flatter me."

Doug: "Ick."

Marx: "Now, Mister Troy. Back to the locker room incident, I have a rather important question to ask. Did you enjoy it?"

Doug: "HELL NO!"

Marx: "At this time I would like to remind the witness that he is under oath! Mister Troy, were you in fact aroused by my activities in your locker room?"

Doug: "I'll say it again since you can't seem to understand. HELL NO!"

Marx: "Oh, c'mon Dougie-Poo."

Doug: "DOUGIE-POO?!"

Marx: "That's right, sweet Dougie-lumpkins! I bet you want to nail me right now!"

DA: "Objection! Counsel is being a f*cking nutbag."

Mills: "Missus Marx, is there a point to these questions?"

Marx: "I'm trying to get him caught in his own lie."

Doug: "WHAT LIE, YOU SMARMY OLD BAT?!"

Mills: "Okay, that does it!"

(Mills jumps on top of his podium and tears off his judge's robe, revealing a referee shirt underneath.)

Mills: "Alright, you two! It's time to settle this in the man fashion! This is a fight to the death! When the bell starts ringing, I want you to come out swinging! NOW LET'S GEDDIT ON!"

(Delores whoops with joy and strips off her shirt, revealing a sports bra and thong underwear.)

Marx: "Let's rassle, Dougie Poo!"

(Doug screams and races for the door as the feed crackles to static.)

Jeff: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Dave: Ok, we need to go to a commercial!

(Commercial: The following words appear in white print on a on a black screen. In between each set of words, one of the PCW stables is shown. Three rings.....surrounded by a cage......divided by a cage......30 plus men........four title shots......Who can you trust?

Dave: Ok, welcome back to Tuesday Turmoil.

Jeff: Boy, our buy rate must be down for Alliances, because we keep showing that commercial over and over again!

The scene shifts to the back where the yellow hummer is shown driving slowly into the building through a bay door.

Dave: Uh oh, you know that can only mean trouble. We will keep a camera in the back to keep us abreast of the situation. Let's head to the ring!

Manson and Porter immediately start to brawl as soon as both men enter the cell. Manson tries to slam Porter into the cell, but Porter stops him, then sends Manson face first into the cell. Porter then takes Manson and throws him into the cell on the other side of the ring. Porter then whips him into the ropes and takes him over with a hip toss. Porter keeps hold of Manson's arm and applies an armbar. Manson is able to get back to his feet and get out of the hold. He elbows Porter a couple times before whipping him into the ropes. Manson back body drops Porter but Porter lands on his feet. Manson turns around and is met with a strong clothesline by Porter. Porter makes a cover, 1.......2....Manson is able to kick out. Porter starts to stomp away on Manson. Porter pulls manson up and goes to whip him into the corner, but Manson reverses. Manson then charges at Porter but Porter gets his boot up. Porter then hops onto the second rope and goes for an axehandle smash, but Manson sees it coming and hits him with a fist to the ribs. Manson starts to go to work on the ribs of Porter. He pulls Porter up, whips him into the ropes, and hits him with a hard knee to the rib area. Porter looks to be hurt as Manson covers, 1........2.....Porter gets a shoulder up. Manson starts to taunt Porter as he continues stomping away on him. Manson lifts Porter high into the air, then throws him face first into the cell. Instead of making a cover, Manson gets on top of Porter and starts punching away at the head of Porter. It looks as if Porter's head is busted open a little. Manson pulls Porter up and whips him into the corner. While Porter is int he corner, Manson looks and finds a chair. He grabs it and approaches a hurt Porter in the corner. Manson lifts the chair up and is about to hit Porter with it, but Porter kicks it right into the face of Manson. Porter then grabs the chair himself as Manson goes down. Porter uses the chair and starts whacking Manson in the back with it. Once he feels that Manson is soft enough, he throws the chair away and locks on The Stroke of Genius. Manson is fighting to get out of the hold, but can't. As Porte rlocks the hold in even tighter, manson starts to crawl toward the ropes for no real reason. Porter continues to tighten the hold, but Manson won't quit. Finally, after enough crawling, Manson has reached the chair Porter tossed away. As Porter locks the hold in ever so tighter, Manson grabs the chair. He then swings it back and clocks Porter in the head with it. Porter lets go of the hold immediately and hits the mat. Manson slowly gets up, grabs Porter then hits him with the Sell Out. Manson makes the cover, 1.........2.......3

WINNER:"The Franchise" Chuck Manson

Jeff: Hahahahahaah!!!! Porter lost again. That's three in a row!

Post match Alan Kriegman and Professor Herbert D. Dorkiman hit the ring. Hits them with a double close line, dropping them both, then the big man exits the ring and taunts the three Think Tank Members.

Dave: I wonder who will be the fourth member of the Think Tank Team at Alliances?

Steven: What about Nick Taylor?

The camera shifts to a hospital room showing Nick Taylor in a full body cast due to injuries he sustained when Two Ton hit him with Tons o' Fun from the top of a ladder.

Dave: Whoa, I guess he's not able to go for Alliances?

Steven: So who will it be?

(One more time, the feed crackles into a mess of static on the PCWtron before coming back to the courtroom. In the room, the jury is filing into the court, one by one. As they take their seats, Mills Lane comes back in and takes his seat.)

Jeff: You know, we really need to cut the feed to the Jumbotron. This is a wrestling program after all, not Court TV.

Dave: I find this compelling TV.

There is a slap, then a pair of thunks, probably from head sets being removed. This is immediately followed by the sounds of a struggle, but the camera shot remains focused on the Jumbotron.

Mills: "Wow, only 10 minutes for the verdict? I might make two golf games today. Mister Foreman, would you please stand up?"

(The Foreman stands up and reveals himself to be George Foreman.)

Mills: "Oh, heya, George! Has the jury reached a verdict?"

George: "Yes we have, your honor. In the case of The People versus Delores Marx, we find the defendant guilty! As opposed to not-guilty, which is how you'll feel once you eat one of my succulent reduced-fat hamburgers from my patented Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Machine Grill!"

(George reaches off-screen and pulls one of his grills out, which already has a burger cooking inside.)

George: "Ah, now doesn't that smell good? You'll never taste the reduced fat, and you'll marvel at the weight-loss"

(George Foreman's speech trails off as another, more sinister sound fills the room. Something that sounds like a stampeding herd of elephants that seems to be getting closer and closer. Suddenly, the wall behind the jury smashes inward, and Two Ton lunges through the wall.)

Two Ton: "REAL FOOD!"

(Two Ton shoves George out of the way and snatches the burger. With two bites, he devours the burger and releases a satisfied sigh. His euphoria doesn't last long, because his eyes soon bulge in terror as he grabs for his stomach.)

Two Ton: "ARGH! Fat Free losing strength"

(Two Ton collapses in the courtroom as the jurors regain their composure.)

Mills: "Okay. Anywho, sentencing will take place tomorrow at noon. Until then"

Voice: "Hold it the f*ck on!"

(The doors open to reveal none other than Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield.)

Lars: "I wanna, like, press some charges against this c*cksucker right here!"

(Lars points at Doug Troy, who gives a 'who, me?' look at Lars)

Lars: "Yeah, you. You downloaded 'Enter Sandman' off of Napster, asshole, and now you're gonna f*cking pay! James, get this grabass!"

James: "Grabass, BAD!"

(James starts to advance toward Doug Troy, but suddenly, a squeal of delight interrupts the proceedings.)

Marx: "Now THAT'S what I call a man!"

(In a fit of lust, Dolores Marx comes galloping over to James, who looks at the camera)

James: "60 year-old tuna farms, BAD!"

(Suddenly, Dolores bowls over James with a flying tackle while Lars smirks at the standing Doug Troy.)

Lars: "James, I told you to get this grabass!"

James: "OLD PUSSY BAD!"

(Lars looks over at the rasslin couple and irks in terror. He slowly turns back around to see Doug Troy standing over him.)

Lars: "You don't scare me, c*cksucker! I'm gonna sue your ass for copyright violations!"

Doug: "Is that so?"

Mills: "See y'all on the links!"

(The scene scrambles to static before Doug administers whatever beating he had planned for Lars.)

Jeff: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Mark Malloy: Hello, I am Mark Malloy, and I am taking over for Dave who is being attended my medical personnel in the back. We are gonna stay right here as the PCW Television Title is up for grabs in our next match. Let's head to Clay Clayborne in the ring.

Clay: This next match is for the PCW Television championship

"Turn Me On Mister Deadman" by Union Underground plays as Judas Steele comes out.

Clay: Making his way to the ring, from New York City, at a weight of 290 pounds.......JUDAS STEELE

Hisses, chants, rants, and boos fill the arena as the theme from the hit PBS show "The Frugal Gourmet" plays throughout the arena. The Chef and his lovely valet Bertha Stewart enter the arena and slowly walk down the aisle.

Clay: His opponent, accompnied to the ring by Bertha Stewart, from Paris, France, at a weight of 325 pounds. he is the current PCW Television champion.......THE CHEF

JS jumps all over Chef as he enters the ring. Judas stomps away on Chef as the ref tries to intervene. The ref pulls Judas off of Chef giving Chef a chance to roll outside the ring. Bertha consoles Chef on the outside as JS comes out there. udas tries to get to Chef, but Bertha steps in the way. Judas tries to move her but found that a little hard to do. He then tries o hit her, but she blocks it and levels Judas with a right cross. Chef then helps Bertha beat on Judas before rolling him back into the ring. Chef re-enters the ring and starts to stomp away on JS some more. Chef then picks Steele up and whips him into the ropes. Steele ducks one clothesline from Chef, then tries a shoulder block but Chef doesn't go down. Judas runs against the ropes again, but Chef grabs him and takes him over with a belly to belly. Chef makes the cover, 1.......2.....Steele kicks out. Chef pulls Steele up, sets him up, then hits him with The Tenderizer. Chef makes another cover, 1.........2.....Steele barely gets a shoulder up. Chef pulls Steele up and whips him into the corner. Chef comes charging in but Steele moves out of the way. Steele then gets behind Chef and rolls him in a schoolboy, 1.......2......Chef kicks out. Bertha pulls out a pot from her large pants. Steele goes to whip Chef into the ropes, but Chef reverses. Steele goes into the ropes and is hit with the pot by Bertha. Steele turns around and he and Bertha start a cussfest. Suddenly "The Innovator" Brock Newbludd slips out of the crowd with a chair in hand. He jumps up onto the Apron and demolishes Steele and just for good measure gives Bertha a whack too. Chef makes the cover, 1........2........3

WINNER:The Chef TIME:3:58

Mark: Brock Newbludd just caused Judas Steele to lose a shot at the TV Title!

Jeff: Well, Mark, that still doesn't help Tiffany, who is still being held (sarcastically) prisoner.

Mark: You speak as if you don't believe it.

Jeff: She was a porn actress before

Mark: Now she wasn't!

Jeff: Wanna make a bet? At the PPV, I will prove it to the world!

Mark: If you say so. I suppose putting up with you is better than having to announce PIC matches with Knox and Diamond.

Steven: Speaking of Knox and Diamond, their titles are on the line in our next match.

Jeff: Is Diamond ready to go after his rescue on Friday night?

Mark: Dunno, I suppose we will find out!

KoRn's "Blind" plays as Asylum make their way out. Also with them is Miyagawa holding a trashcan lid.

Clay:Making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 480 pounds.......ASYLUM

Knox' entrance theme, "Rock the Party" by P.O.D begins to play. The lights in the arena go out. When the music speeds up, white pyro blasts near the entrance. When they clear the "Future" is standing there. He begins to make his way down the aisle. As he does, similar pyro blasts ignite along the sides of the runway.

Clay:Their opponent, from Boston, Massachusets, at a weight of 300 pounds. He is one half of the PCW Tag Team champions......."THE FUTURE" RYAN KNOX

TCM and Joker both start to put the boots to Knox upon entering. They pull Knox up and whip him into the ropes. TCM and Joker go for a double clothesline, but Knox ducks it, bounces back, and takes both of them down with a flying clothesline. TCM rolls out of the ring and Knox begins going to work on Joker. Joker is whipped hard into the corner and goes down. Knox calmly walks over and begins to stomp on Joker's back. TCM is up on the outside. Knox lifts Joker high into the air for a press slam. He then tosses Joker over the top rope and onto TCM. TCM and Joker regroup on the outside, then come back in together. Joker goes after Knox first, but Knox easily takes him down. TCM then attacks Knox. Knox and TCM start to trade punches until Joker gets up. Asylum are double teaming Knox when the Knight Rider theme hits and Lee Knight appears on the Jumbotron. He refers to Asylum as scum of the earth and the fact that they though the Knight brothers would just back down from them. While they are distracted by this Jason Knight enters the ring through the crowd carrying a sledgehammer and attacks Joker and TCM with two vile sledgehammer shots to the back. He then walks slowly up the ramp with a smile on his face. The ref sees it all and calls for the bell.

WINNERS by DQ: Asylum TIME:3:03

While Knight continues to slowly walk up the ramp, Miyagawa comes up behind him with a trashcan lid. He spins Knight around and clocks him in the head with it. Miyagawa proceeds to stomp a mud hole into Knight. Chuck Manson comes out and begins to mix it up with Trashcan Man, Miyagawa and Joker. Knox rushes down from the ring and the six men brawl their way into the back.

Mark: Wow! Could we see a Jason Knight, Ryan Knox, Chuck Manson and dare I say Derrik Diamond team at the PPV?

Jeff: Do we care? Somehow, someway, Knox is still holding those tag titles.

Mark: Well, he can't control the actions of others. Our main event of the evening is up nextWait a minute.

The camera shifts to the back where Meanstreak is shown walking past a heavy duty fork lift and some pallets of dried goods.

Mark: Meanstreak is in the building! We have to go to a commercial! When we return, we will have the PCW/Tampex Main Event of the evening!

(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Tampex, the quicker picker upper)

Mark: Ok we are back. Let's head to the ring for our Tampex Main Event of the Evening, which features two undefeated PCW wrestlers!

The lights in the arena lower to a sunset dim. "Aberacadabera" by Sugar Ray fills the loudspeakers, and three intense red spotlights focus on the entrance portal. Suddenly red pyro shoots up from the bottom of the ramp and makes its way to the top, showering the ramp in a crimson tide. After ten seconds of the pyro dies down and multi colored smoke fills the portal. Out through the smoke steps Jugs and Bambi, Smith's valets. They each strike a pose showing of their various femine wiles, and Smith steps out through the smoke also. The music pounds louder and another burst of red pyro goes off around them. Smith slips his arms around his valets and makes his way to the ring, laughing and strutting at the jealous drooling fans.

Clay Claybourne: "Now making his way to the ring, from Venice Beach, California. Weighing in at 295 pounds, "GENETIC PERFECTION" JOHNNY SMITH!!!

The fans in the arena are going absolutely nuts. They continue to cheer as the beginning of "Bawitdabaw" by Kid Rock plays. The fans start to quiet down as the music builds. Out from the back walks Amanda and Christy and stand at the top of the ramp. As soon as they come out, we hear "MY NAME IS KID!" blare over the PA system. The music then switches over to "Glory" by Sugar Ray as Kid Wonder comes out. He stands at the top of the ramp, puts his arm around Amanda, flashes an arrogant little smirk, then starts to head towards the ring. Once at ringside, Kid Wonder hops up onto the ring apron and holds down the middle rope for the ladies to get in. He follows in right behind them and heads over to the turnbuckle. Wonder hops onto the turnbuckle and gives the fans the Wonder sign. Kid Wonder hops off the turnbuckle and stands in the middle of the ring. Amanda walks up from behind him, takes off his silk jacket, and leaves the ring. Christy follows right behind her. Kid Wonder bounces against the ropes a couple times as he waits for the match to begin.

Clay Claybourne: "Now making his way to the ring, from Orlando, Florida. Weighing in at 169 pounds. He is the PCW Cruiserweight Champion. KID WONDER!!!"

The match starts with the two men locking up in the center of the ring. Kid Wonder, with a quick twist of the arm, gets behind Smith with an armlock. KW clamps the hold down hard on his opponent. "Genetic Perfection" Johnny Smith turns KW around a bit, and then swiftly backs up into the corner, crushing KW behind him. With the hold broken, and Wonder smashed in the corner, Smith lifts his boot and starts choking Kid Wonder. Buzz Meacham starts counting, trying to get Smith to break the hold. 1.......2.......3......4..... just before the count of five, Johnny Smith puts his foot back to the floor. He then hits KW with a series of hard chops to the chest, the sound echoing off the furthest rafters. Smith whips KW into the opposite turnbuckle. He charges at KW with a double axe-handle, but Wonder manages to move aside, forcing Smith to collide hard into the corner. Wonder puts Smith down in the center of the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex. Wonder goes to the top rope. And he hits Smith with a legdrop from the top rope! Wonder covers. .......1........2.......Smith kicks out. Wonder slowly brings Smith to his feet, and hits him with a standing dropkick. The force of the kick sends Smith over the top rope and onto the floor below. Smith takes some time getting back to his feet. While he's getting up, KW goes to the top turnbuckle. Buzz Meacham starts counting. .......1........2........3. He smashes GP with a flying clothesline! The crowd continues going nuts, as KW slams GP's head into the barrier. ........4...........5. KW tries to give a piledriver, but he can't pick up the larger Smith. Smith instead turns it into a backdrop. ..........6.......7.........8. Smith picks Wonder up, and sends him back into the ring, stopping Buzz Meacham's count. Smith kicks Wonder in the ribs a few times. He scoops up KW and crushes him with a hard power slam. GP goes to cover. Meacham counts. ........1.......2.........KW gets a shoulder up! Smith picks KW up and whips him off the ropes. GP tries to clothesline him, but KW ducks under it. KW comes off the opposite ropes and tries to hit a crossbody. But Smith catches him, lifts him up to his shoulder, and delivers an absolutely crushing power bomb! Smith raises his arms in the air to mass booing from the crowd. He goes for a cover, hooking the leg. .........1.........2.................Kid Wonder JUST gets his shoulder up before the three count. KW is hurting, and Smith wastes no time in continuing to apply the pressure. He kicks KW in the knees a few times, and stomps on his legs. Smith then goes for the Figure-Four Leg Lock. Meacham comes over to Kid Wonder asking if he wants to give up. Smith tightens the hold. KW is screaming in agony. After a few seconds, KW starts to push forward, turning slowly. He keeps pushing, trying to turn the hold over. KW succeeds in turning it over! Smith is now the one in pain. Smith grabs the ropes quickly to force KW to break the hold. Wonder limps a bit as he gets up, but still manages to perform a snap mare on Smith. Wonder picks GP up and this time hits with the piledriver! Wonder goes to the Top rope. HE LANDS SO WONDERFUL!!! Kid Wonder goes for the cover! ..........1.........2..............Johnny Smith Kicks Out!!! Kid Wonder is amazed. He picks him up and tries to go for another piledriver. He can't gather the strength to do it, and Smith flips him over with a backdrop. Smith takes KW up to the top rope. HE HITS HIM WITH THE GENETIC DRIVER!!! Smith covers. .........1.........2..............Wonder Kicks Out!!! Smith is dumbfounded. He picks Wonder up and whips him across the ropes. Smith bounces off the other side. Smith misses the clothesline. They come off the ropes again. They hit each other with flying forearms! Both are knocked out cold. Meacham starts to count. ........1..........2..........3........4........at the last second, Wonder flips over on top of a motionless Smith. Meacham counts the cover. ........1...........2............3!

Winner: Kid Wonder Time: 8:39

Mark: What match!!! Kid Wonder barely pulled that out!

Steven: I bet we will see a rematch on Friday between these two?

Mark: Why is that!

Steven: Because I just received word from the Phantom Booker that these two will go at it again on Friday!

Mark: Ok then, there you have it

The Jumbotron suddenly bursts into static as the hummer is shown idling in the back. Suddenly there is a crash. The camera wheels around to show The Monster they call Meanstreak has taken the heavy duty forklift and broadsided the hummer. The hummer tries to drive off, but the forks have already lifted the ATV off the ground, so its wheels are just spinning away. He continues to raise the forks of the lift to a height of five feet off the ground.

Mark: The Hummer is trapped! Meanstreak has trapped the hummer!

Meanstreak hops off of the forklift with a crazed look in his good eye. He ducks below the forks and squats beneath the hummer.

Mark: OH MY GOD!! What is he doing!?!?!?

Meanstreak lets out a great roar and thrusts his legs upwards. The Hummer rocks as Meanstreak strains. The veins in his forehead begin to bulge and he continues to roar but he cannot seem to dump the hummer from it the forks.

Meanstreak squats again then thrusts upwards causing the hummer to rock. Meanstreak squats again and lets out another anguished roar and repeats the process as he continues the rocking motion.

Jeff: A few more rocks and he is gonna dump the hummer from the forks!!

Suddenly the door to the hummer opens and a man begins to pop out.

Mark: Who is that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Meanstreak inhales and exhales wildly and lets out am echoing roar and trusts upwards, causing the hummer to begin to tip from the spokes.

Jeff: There it goes!!!

The driver of the hummer is stuggling to escape as the hummer begins to tilt.

Then.

Suddenly. There is a squeal of rubber and Meanstreak is suddenly blinded by high beams. The camera wheels around to show ANOTHER yellow hummer racing towards the scene.

Mark: WHAT THE F^CK IS GOING ON?!?!? THERE ARE TWO YELLOW HUMMERS??!?!?!

The hummer on the forks is beginning to tilt, while Meanstreak is standing between the forks trying to force the thing completely over. The man who was driving the hummer on the forks looks over at the rapidly approaching second hummer with a look of fear and shock on his face.and if we can see that, we can see who he is!

Steven: The driver of the tipping hummer is SERAPH!!!

The second hummer slams into the forklift, causing the lift to topple over, which sends the hummer it was holding to flip onto its top. Seraph who was half way out of the hummer falls to the concrete below and lands right on the top of his head!

Mark: OH NO!! THIS IS COMPLETELY OUT OF HAND LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!!!

As the forklift tips over, one of the forks catches Meanstreak in the head and he goes down and is pinned by the forklift as it falls to its side. The yellow hummer that caused the collision squeals into reverse and out of the building as security and medical personnel rush to the scene.

Mark: We are out of time! We will see you on Friday night! Good night!

The camera focuses in on an unconscious and bleeding Seraph then finally pans over to an unmoving Meanstreak who is pinned beneath the crushing weight of the forklift, before fading to black.