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Tuesday Turmoil December 5, 2000

From the America West Arena in Phoenix, Arizona

The show opens showing a still photo of Judas Steele standing in the top turnbuckle holding up the PCW Television Title. A ring bell begins to ring in the background and the words "Judas Steele: 1975-2000" appear on the bottom of the screen. After the bell rings for the last time, the screen fades to black.

The normal opening for Turmoil begins featuring the usual images of PCW superstars standing within the ruins of a flame engulfed, ruined city. Wrestlers highlighted are The Preacher, "The Phenomenon" Adam Riggs, Jake Keeton, Ed Novak, Chuck Manson, Kid Wonder, Alan Kriegman and Meanstreak.

The scene shifts into the inside of the America West Arena where pyros shoot up from the entryway and the ring posts. The camera whirls around the arena focusing on several of the fans in attendence before finally settling in on the PCW announce team.

Dave Kern: Hello everyone, and welcome to Primetime Championship Wrestling's Tuesday Turmoil. I'm Dave Kern and along side me as always are Jeff Marx and Steven. We are coming to you live from the America West Arena in beautiful Phoenix Arizona. Tonight we will get chance to see eight of the PCW's up and coming talents in the first round of what the Phantom Booker has dubbed the "Newblood Tourney."

Jeff: Why are we talking about fresh meat for the grinder while the Preacher still has his tarnishing grip on what used to be the highest prize in all of professional wrestling, the PCW World Title?

Steve: Why are either of you talking about anything other than the fact than the fact The Violator will be in action?

Jeff: Would you and your yearning sphincter just chill the f

Dave: (interrupting) Whoa!!! We have a boat load of matches on tap for tonight so let's head directly to the ring.

(The lights go off.A computerized voice says "LIGHTS..CAMERA...ACTION!"Th en the sirens and strobe lights start and Dan can be seen in the entrance way with his valet, Buffy Vegas. They make their way to the ring, then Dan stands on the apron facing the crowd.He slowly raises his arm aloft, signalling for a stream of fireworks to go off in the ring behind him.Then Dan vaults the ropes into the ring)

Clay Clayborne:Making his way to the ring, from Hollywood, California, at a weight of 225 pounds......."THE A-LIST" DAN HOLLYWOOD

(On the Big Screen SHOWTIME IS NOW appears and begins to flash the lights go black and a deep voice says SHOWTIME IS NOW!.Danger by Mystikal begins to play and the lights rise as Mr.Showtime steps onto the stage.Blue pyro shoots out of the stage as Mr.Showtime walks to the ring.He gets in the stands walks to a corner he puts his hands up.He steps down and stands on the middle of the ropes and raises his hands as Blue Pyro shoots off behind him)

Clay:His opponent, from Brooklyn, New York, at a weight of 300 pounds.......MR. SHOWTIME

DH tries to get the early advantage on Showtime by attacking him as he enters, but Showtime doesn't really feel the blows. He turns around and starts to punch the daylights outta DH. He then takes him and tosses him over the top rope and hard onto the floor. Showtime goes right out after him and starts to pound on him some more. He takes DH's head and slams it into the steel steps a few times. Showtime whips DH into the ringpost, then he rolls him back into the ring. Instead of making the cover, Showtime starts to show off for the fans. Hollywood gets on both knees behind him, then he rolls him up from behind, 1......2...kick out by Showtime. Showtime is up, as is DH. Showtime charges at DH, but DH ducks his clothesline attempt, slips behind Showtime and hits him with a German Suplex. DH picks Showtime up and tries whipping Showtime, but Showtime reverses and sends DH into the ropes. Dh ducks a clothesline by Showtime, then hits a cross body block on Showtime knocking him down. Speedy Riggs gets into position for the count, 1......2.....kick out by Showtime. As Showtime gets up, DH bounces off the ropes. When he comes back, he's met by a big boot from Showtime. Showtime then picks DH up and hits him with the Showtime Slam. Showtime makes an arrogant cover, 1.......2.......3

WINNER:Mr. Showtime TIME:3:20

Dave: So Mr. Showtime is successful in his PCW debut against another up an coming wrestler, A-List Dan Hollywood!

Steven: What a minute!

The camera shifts back to the ring where Mr. Showtime is still mugging for the crowd. While he is busy posing, Boda slips in from the opposite side of the ring. The crowd roars the approval, and Mr. Showtime absolutely believes it is for him. Boda crosses his arms and waits for the PCW newcomer to get a clue.

Finally Mr. Showtime turns around, only to find Boda charging at him. Boda hits him with a vicious running lariat, sending Mr. Showtime up and over the top rope to the ringside floor below.

The crowd roars. Boda calls for a mic and someone at ringside tosses him one.

Boda: Yeah, celebrate all you want.Yuck it up, because on Friday night, your "impressive" one match winning streak is gonna come to a screaching halt!

Mr. Showtime points up at Boda talks some smack. Boda helps Dan Hollywood to his feet and beckons Showtime to enter the ring.

Jeff: Where's Shaq at when you need him.

Steve: Tell ME about it. Just last night I was surfing the net and

Dave: (interrupting) We don't need to hear the rest of that! As I mentioned, our card is packed tonight, so we are going to immediately head to the ring for our first of four first round Newblood Tourney matches. Let's head to the ring.

(The arena lights go out, as Portisehead's "Wandering Star" begins to play. Victor Keith emerges from the back and walks down the ramp, shaking hands with the fans but not making eye contact as he quickly walks down to the ring. Once within the ring, he remains in his corner, staring intensely at the entrace, waiting for his opponent)

Clay Clayborne:This is a first round match in the PCW Newblood Tournament. Introducing first, from San Francisco, California, at a weight of 235 pounds.......VICTOR KEITH

(Through the crowd-- "After Forever" Black Sabbath-- none of that pyro stuff, but maybe some grey smoke and a "he's hardcore" chant)

Clay:His opponent, from Bombay, Michigan, at a weight of 195 pounds......."THE PARIAH" TONY ALVARADO

Keith and Pariah lock up at the start. Keith whips Pariah into the ropes and hits him with an armdrag. Keith keeps hold of the arm. Pariah gets back to his feet and out of Keith's hold. The two men then start to punch eachother with VK getting the advantage. He whips Pariah into the ropes and goes for a boot to the face, but Pariah slides under it. He then grabs Keith and whips him into the ropes. Pariah then takes him down with a clothesline. Pariah makes the cover, 1.....2...kick out by Keith. Pariah pulls VK up and goes to whip him into the corner but Keith reverses. Keith charges at Pariah in the corner, but Pariah moves. He then gets hold of VK and hits him with Broken Hope. Pariah makes the cover, 1.......2........3

WINNER:"The Pariah" Tony Alvarado TIME:1:21

Dave: So the Pariah makes quick work out of Victor Keith to move on to Friday's semifinal round of the Newblood tourney.

Suddenly "Quiet" from Smashing Pumpkins hits the PA system.

Jeff: What a minute, isn't that the Phantom Booker's music?

Dave: IT IS! The Phantom Booker is here!

The camera shifts to the entryway where a man wearing a woman's stocking over his head to hide his identity steps out of the back wearing a pair of jeans, a tattered brown wool sweater, and a pair of work boots. He has a microphone in hand.

The camera angle shifts to show Victor Keith who is staggering to his feet in the ring.

TPB: Ya know, we have 60 some-odd guys here in the PCW who work their asses off night in and night out. Air time is coming harder to harder to come by.

Jeff: What the hell is he talking about? Dude, back off the crack pipe!

TPB: Victor Keith, there are too many hungry guys on this roster to have a slacking piece of crap like you taking up airtime. So why don't you head on back to your locker, pack your sh!t and hop on the bus Gus, because your ass is fired!

"Zero" hits the PA system again as The Phantom Booker throws down the microphone and heads to the back. The camera focuses in on a stunned Victor Keith.

Dave: The Phantom Booker has just fired Victor Keith! Wow!

Jeff: Keith was a slacking jobber that didn't work stiff in the ring. No big loss.

Steven: Hehehehehehehe.You said stiff.

Dave: JesusLet's head to a commercial.

(Commercial: PCW Decimation! Sunday, December 17th, 2000, Live on Pay Per View. Call your cable company and order it today!)

Dave: Welcome back to Turmoil! I am told Jason Maddux

Jeff: HA!!! We hired that loser back!

Dave: I don't know about loser

Jeff: (singing) "In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey"

Dave: Shut the hell up! As I was trying to say I am told Jason Maddux has something to report in the back. Jason!

The scene shifts to the back where MWF reporting legend Jason Maddux is standing outside a door with the name Adam Riggs written on it.

Jason Maddux: Hey Marx, bite me!

Steven: I'll do it!

Jason, Dave and Jeff: (simultaneously) Shut up Steven!

Jason: Hello folks I am waiting outside Adam Riggs' lockeroom to try and get a few words from him about his recent statements saying that he is going to wrestle on this show somehow, someway. Let's try and get him out here.

Maddux knocks on the door, it opens, and Miss Ireland open sit wearing a whipped cream bra and panties.

Jeff: I'd like to nibble on the cherry under that whipped cream.

Steven: I don't get it.

Maddux: Uhhhh...excuse me if I am interrupting something I just....

Riggs: (interrupting, yelling from the background.) Your damn right you're interrupting something, you're interrupting my training! All you need to know Maddux is that Adam Riggs will be on this card tonight whether PCW likes itor not! Miss Ireland get back here before you melt!

The door slams, and loud crashes echo from inside the lockeroom.)

Maddux: Well apparently we will just have to see what unfolds with Adam Riggs tonight on Turmoil. Back to you guys.

Jeff: Who the hell cares what happens with referee Speedy Riggs' long, lost, white, half-brother. I want an expose on Ms. Ireland!

Dave: Ok, we are going to head to the ring for the second of tonight's Newblood Tournament matches.

Genesis vs. Perry Dollar

(The lights suddenly go off as opening guitar riff of Hero of the Day by Metallica begins to play. The lights turn to a blend of green and blue and shine towards the entrance way. The music continues to blare over the PA system...The lights continue to change frequently alternating from the darker shades of green and blue to a brighter, more vibrant combination of red and yellow. The music continues...All of a sudden there as the lights brighten to a hightened intesity of the red and yellows, there is a huge pyro explosion and out of the entrance steps Eve, the lovely manager of Genesis. She steps forward and allows the crowd to respond to the lovely body that she has. Eve is dressed in a skin tight black leather mini skirt and a black sting bikini top, much to the liking of all the males in the audience. Eve steps to the side as the music continues to play...Genesis steps into the entrance way, wearing his black trench coat over his wrestling tights. The bright lights bounce wildly off his cross. As the crowd erupts the music continues to play...Genesis takes Eve by the hand and together the two walk very deliberately down to the ring, stopping to shake the hands of fans as they make their way down the aisle. The end of the song is heard as Genesis and Eve climb into the ring...)

Clay Clayborne:This is a first round match in the PCW Newblodd Tournament. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Eve, from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, at a weight of 249 pounds.......GENESIS

("Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit plays as Perry Dollar makes his way out.)

Clay:His opponent, from Albany, New York, at a weight of 275 pounds.......PERRY DOLLAR

Genesis is all over PD as he enters the ring. He stomps away at him as Dollar tries to use the ropes to get up. Genesis chokes Dollar with the ropes as Buzz Meacham tries breaking it up. He is able to get Genesis off of Dollar for a moment, but then Genesis is all over him again. Genesis then tosses Dollar from the ring. He goes out after him against ref's orders. He pulls Dollar up and goes to whip him, but Dollar reverses and sends Genesis into the guardrail. PD kicks at Genesis as he leans against the guardrail. He then lifts him up and goes to ram him into the ringpost, but Genesis slides off and pushes Dollar into the ringpost. Genesis then rolls Dollar back into the ring and covers him, 1......2....PD kicks out. Genesis pulls Dollar up and whips him into the corner. Dollar goes into the corner, then comes right out and nails Genesis with a mean running lariat. Genesis gets up but is knocked down by a PD right hand. Genesis gets up again and swings at Dollar, but Dollar ducks, then grabs Genesis and nails him with The Money Maker. Dollar makes the cover, 1......2......3

WINNER:Perry Dollar TIME:2:06

Dave: Perry Dollar with an impressive victory over Genesis.

Jeff: Well, all the hype of that Genesis promo last Friday when up in flames as he jobbed in just over two minutes! I haven't seen anyone flop that bad after being put over like since Joh

Dave: (interrupting) I am being told we have some commotion in the back!

The scene shifts to the back where Riskbreaker is shown lying motionless on top of the remains of once was a table. A dented steel chair lies near by. Medical crews are rushing to the scene to check on his condition.

Dave: Someone has layed our Riskbreaker! He is scheduled to take on Scourge in our next match!

Steven: A Newblood Tourney match nonetheless!

Jeff: That was the first non-faggofied comment you have made all night.

Steven: Bring on the Violator!

Dave: Ok, well, Riskbreaker didn't look to be in any condition to take on Scourge in our upcoming Newblood Tourney match. Let's head to the ring .

(The Arena lights go out and Red fire work shoot into the air as Lifter by Deftones hits, soon after red lights start to flicker forming a strobe effect, a man emerges in the entrance way, he walks down to the ring stops half way and looks at the fans, signs a few auto graphs then carries on walking)

Clay Clayborne:This is a first round match in the PCW Newblood Tournament. Making his way to the ring, from London, England, at a weight of 269 pounds.......SCOURGE

("Phenomenon" by LL Cool J begins to play)

Dave: What a minute, that's not Riskbreaker's music!

As soon as the music hits, the house lights go dark when green and orange spotlights turn on. They flash around the arena, before focusing on the entranceway, where Adam Riggs makes his way out with his manager, Miss Ireland. Colored pyro explodes, green flames on the left, white flames in the middle, and orange flames on the right, as Riggs makes his way to the ring. He insults some choice fans, gives a few others the finger, before stepping in the ring. Riggs then climbs a turnbuckle, throws back his head, and raises his arms in the air, loving the booes he is getting. The house lights flicker on, and Riggs begins to disrobe)

Clay:His opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Miss Ireland, from Dublin, Ireland, at a weight of 285 pounds......."THE PHENOMENON" ADAM RIGGS

Riggs is all over Scourge at the start of the match. He punches away at the face of Scourge as Scourge is backed into the ropes. Riggs takes Scourge and whips him into the ropes. Scourge ducks a Riggs clothesline, then comes back with a running clothesline of his own. Scourge makes a quick cover, 1.......2......Riggs kicks out. Both men are up and tie up. Riggs uses his slight size advantage to get the advantage over Scourge. He hits him with a couple knees to the gut. While Scourge is doubled over, Riggs hits him with a swinging neckbreaker. Riggs covers, 1.....2....The ref is distracted by.

Suddenly, Archangel charges out of the back towards the ring. He gets about half way there, then the arena goes dark and someone starts shouting "It's Time." Karnage King appears on the Jumbotron and Bat Out of Hell by Meatloaf starts to play.

Archangel spins around as flames erupt from the entrance. Riggs gets up from his cover of Scourge and looks on as Karnage King comes out of the back with a sledgehammer in hand. Archangel stops and heads over to Karnage King, who is pointing his sledgehammer up at Scourge in the ring. Archangel nods approvingly and holds out his hand to KK, who returns the gesture. As KK grabs a hold of AA's hand, AA pulls him forward suddenly and scoops him up, then delivers a reverse DVD on KK onto the steel ramp!

Dave: Archangel has just hit Karnage King with FALL FROM GRACE on the steel ramp.

Archangel spits on KK and heads to the back. KK is not moving.

Meanwhile back in the ring, Riggs pounds on Scourge's head, then pulls him up and sends him into the corner. Riggs charges in but Scourge moves, then rolls him up, 1......2.....Riggs kicks out. Both men are quick to their feet. Riggs goes for a running lariat but Scourge ducks it. Scourge then hits Riggs with some rights and some lefts, knocking him to the mat. He then bounces off the ropes and hits Riggs with a legdrop. Scourge makes a cover, 1......2....kick out. Scourge pulls Riggs up and sends him into the corner. Scourge then charges at Riggs but "The Phenomenon" gets his boot up. He then hops onto the second rope and hits Scourge with a double axehandle. Riggs makes the cover, 1......2...kick out by Scourge. Riggs is up and stomping away at Scourge. He then lifts him up and drops him with a suplex. Riggs makes another cover, 1......2.....Scourge gets a shoulder up. Riggs pulls Scourge up and whips him hard into the corner. Scourge bounces out as Riggs bounces off the ropes. Riggs then connects with a vicious clothesline. Riggs covers again, 1......2....shoulder up for Scourge. Riggs grabs Scourge and puts him in a side headlock. Scourge looks like he's fading so the ref starts the count. he lifts his arm, and drops it for 1. Lifts it again, and drops it again for 2. he then lifts it one more time, but it doesn't go down. Scourge starts to fight back. He fights to his feet and elbows Riggs a few times in the ribs. he then pushes him into the ropes and catches him with a sleeper. Riggs easily gets out of it with a mule kick. He then grabs Scourge and hits him with The Eighth Wonder. Riggs covers, 1......2.......3

WINNER:"The Phenomenon" Adam Riggs TIME:4:41

Dave: The Phenomenon with a highly impressive PCW debut with a win over Scourge. Riggs will move on to the second round of the Newblood Tourney on Friday!

Riggs pulls out a can of whipped cream and shakes it up to the delight of the crowd. He shoots some into his own mouth, then in to mouth of Miss Ireland, who seductively licks it up. Then the two leave the ring.

Meanwhile Clyde comes sauntering out of the back and walks to where medical personnel are checking out Karnage King.

Dave: (disgusted) Oh, now what does he want!

Jeff: Hey! Clyde is the man! With no Irbe, and no Death Dealer to follow, this guy is the next closest thing to a total scumbag I can find! My kind of guy!

Steven: They're

Steven's words are cut off by the stinging sound of a slap. Slight wimpering is then heard.

Jeff: Don't even think about completing that sentence you faggstronaut!

Steven: (simpering) sorry

The camera shifts back to Clyde who is looking at the downed Karnage King. Riggs and Miss Ireland walk by and Clyde and Riggs stare each other down for a moment, before Clyde bursts out into laughter. Riggs give him the finger and escorts Miss Ireland to the back.

Clyde looks back up the ring, where Scourge is still down, with a wicked looking smile on his face. Then he looks over at the sledgehammer dropped by Karnage King.

Dave: He wouldn't!

Jeff: If he does, then I will have more respect for this guy than any other wrestler in the PCW.

Clyde picks up the sledgehammer and heads towards the ring. He slides under the ropes and lefts the sledgehammer up high above his head and is about to slam the hammer down with all his might, when referee Buzz Meacham pulls the hammer away from him. Clyde wheels around to strike at the ref, but a sea of security people hit the ring. Before they can drag Clyde out, he kicks the downed Scourge in the head several times.

Dave: All hell has broken loose here in Phoenix! We need to head to a commercial!

(Commercial: Miss Ireland is shown nude with whipped cream covering strategic parts of her body.

Voice Over: Isn't time you bought yourself some Jiffy Whip? Check the dairy section of your local grocer today!)

The scene fades in to show an incredibly fat woman enjoying herself at the America West Center in Phoenix. The camera pans out to show her fat, bald husband holding up a Jiffy Whip can while his wife holds up a sign which reads. "I'm gonna get whipped tonight!"

Dave: (shuddering) Welcome back to Turmoil

Jeff: (interrupting) Did I we really need THAT last image?

Dave: No. No we didn't. Ok, let's head to the ring for our final first round Newblood Tourney Match of the evening.

Flaymin Aymin vs. Johnny G

(Lights turn a blue colour and suddenly a red siren begins to wail. "Everything to Everyone" by Everclear plays as Aymin comes out. The massive red siren flashes around the arena for the remainder of the entrance. The pyro consists of the flames coming out of the main podium (exactly like it does for Booker T) and the flames also come out of the ring post (like kane).)

Clay:This is a first round match in the PCW Newblood Tournament. Introducing first, from Sydney, Australia, at a weight of 182 pounds.......FLAYMIN' AYMIN

(Red flares go off forming a heart, and the music "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summers. Makes his way to the ring, struttin, and hops over the ropes. He climbs up 2, opposite turnbuckles, and raises his right arm, then settles in the middle and does a little dance.)

Clay Clayborne:His opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada, at a weight of 267 pounds.......JOHNNY G

FA and JG circle eachother for a moment, then tie up. JG just pushes FA down to the mat. FA looks at JG, then gets back up and locks up with him again. Once again, JG uses his size to push him down. FA just stares at him, then gets back up. JG goes to tie up with him again, but FA slips behind him, then hits him with a russian leg sweep. FA drops a couple elbows on JG, then covers, 1.....2...kick out by JG. FA pulls JG up and goes to whip him into the ropes, but JG reverses and turns it into a short-arm clothesline. JG then makes a cover, 1.......2.....kick out by Aymin. JG is up first, followed by FA. JG picks FA up and drops him with a suplex. He then puts him in a side headlock. FA is easily able to slip out of the hold and they are both back to square one. The two men lock up once more. This time JG hits FA with a couple knees to the ribs, then whips him into the ropes. FA ducks a clothesline by JG, but then JG is able to grab him and put him in a gorilla press. He holds him over his head, walks over to the ropes, then tosses him all the way to the floor below. JG stands on the inside as FA is very slow to get up on the outside. The ref gets to 8 before FA is back in. JG stomps on him a little, then covers, 1.......2....FA is able to get a shoulder up. JG pulls FA up and whips him into the corner. He comes charging in but FA moves. FA then grabs JG and drops him with The Scorcher. FA is slow to make the cover, but he does, 1.........2.........3

WINNER:Flaymin' Aymin TIME:4:09

Dave: Flaymin Aymin picks up a much needed win over the Funkmaster, Johnny G.

Jeff: Could there be any two worse gimmicks in the PCW?

Dave: Revenant and Kano?

Jeff: Agreed.

Dave: I am being told we have one of our crack reporting team standing by in the back with Boda.

Jeff: Wait, can I exchange Kano for Boda as one of the two worst gimmicks in the PCW.

Dave: I'll buy that. Let's head to the back!

The scene shifts to the back where the Pimply Faced Intern Kid is standing next to Boda.

PFIKThanks, guys!

Jeff: Hey Zitorama! Just speak and stop hogging my airtime!

PFIK: Sorry Mr. Marx. I am here with The Extreme Machine Boda. Last we heard , you were flying here to witness... first hand...whyt hey are paying Mr. Showtime that amount of money!!

Boda: You damn right , kid !! That guy comes into the PCW and without proving anything gets a contract that large and the tells the world about it!! What kinda idiot is he!! There are hard working talent out here that don't get a quarter of the pay the suits are offering him!! And for what... I haven't seen anything great about this MR. HBO , Cinemax, Starz or what ever movie channel he is!!

PFIK: Well he does have 3 years of wrestling experience under his belt!!

Boda: I don't give a damn! He could have been around as long as Ric Flair , why does he deserve this kinda

contract??

Jeff: What the hell does the Nature Fossil have to do with this?

PFIK: Well , there really isn't anything that you can do...you really are crying out in vain!!

Boda: Crying out in vain?? Is that what you think I am doing?? Hell no....I am here .. In Phoenix Arizona...

Boda gets cheap crowd pop by mentioning the city name.

Boda: (continuing) to challenge Mr. Overpaid Halftime Show to a little match... this Friday on Fusion with Mr. Showtime's $11 million contract hanging from above the ring... and a ladder.

The crowd pops. A "Do it now" chant begins.

Dave: Whoa!

Boda waits for the crowd noise to die down.

Boda: The first one to get the ladder...climb it rung by rung and grab that contract...gets the $11 million dollars a year . The loser (chuckling) well, the loser gets the current jobber pay that most of us are recieving !!

PFIK: A ladder match with $11 million dollars at stake!! WOW , That is huge!!

Jeff: Not as big as that honkin' white head which is about to burst in the middle of your forehead!

Boda: And when I win.. I will be "Millionaire" Boda--and I will share the wealth with those that need it the most!!

Jeff: Chuck Manson?

Boda: (continuing(So what will it be Showtime.. are you man enough for the Primetime... Man enough for the Extreme Machine Boda himself ! Let me know , punk!!

Boda storms off.

PFIK: Back to you guys.

Dave: Well, it would seem Boda

Dave's words are cutoff when "Quiet" from Smashing Pumpkins hits the PA system.

Jeff: The Phantom Booker is coming out again?

Steven: When, where?

Jeff: Jesus Christ, Steven. That is come with and "O", not a "U"

The Phantom Booker, with a stocking concealing his identity comes out of the back with a microphone in his hand.

The Phantom Booker: Cut the music!

The music is cut.

The Phantom Booker: Boda! Showtime!! Consider that match booked for this Friday, but consider it a trial run.

Dave: What?

The Phantom Booker: That's right, Boda. You got Showtime in a ladder match this Friday, but his contract will not be on the line

The crowd boos.

The Phantom Booker: This Friday will be a dry run for when you two wrestle in a pole match, with Showtime's contract on the line at Decimation on December 17th!

The crowd pops!

Dave: WOW!!! A pole match with 11 million dollar implications!

"Quiet" hits the PA system and the Phantom Booker makes his way back into the tunnel.

Dave: Ok, we are going to head to a commercial. When we return, we are going to head to the cafeteria of the America West Arena where the Chef is going to defend the PCW Television Title against Scott Naket. Don't go away!

(Commercial:

(male singing a jingle to the tune of the old Solarcane commercials) Lubicain stops ass ream pain, when someone you love is hurting!

Precious Peter Love is shown handing a pain faced Boca del Inferno a tube of Lubicain. PPL takes the tube, looks at it then smiles widely.

Announcer: Lubicain. Available at fine pharmacies everywhere!)

Dave: Ok we are back!

Steven: Lubicain.L-U-B-I

There is a stinging sound of a slap which abruptly cuts off Steven's words.

Dave: (sighing) Let's head to the arena cafeteria for our next match.Wait a minute.

Johnny Raindance is shown walking through the back of the arena searching for Meanstreak.

Jeff: Hey, Johnny Crappingdeer doesn't work here, someone call security!

He walks past the catering table, then stops and begins to sample some cold cuts. Reaper makes his way over to the table and shoves JRD out of the way.

Reaper: This food is for employees only.

Johnny Raindance gives Reaper a grin and bites his bottom lip. He then nods his head and walks off.

(The scene shifts into the cafeteria area of the arena. We see a series of bench like cafeteria tables and a bunch of clustered round tables with steel folding chairs circling around them. There is a long set of wooden tables that have a fruit and desert setup on them. We then see a long series of cafe food burners. There is a plethora of feuds ranging from sliced chicken and beef to French fries and soup. We then see a gigantic cooler that is formed to look like a huge Shazbot can. We see a scattered Shazbot cans among the cubes of Ice. Suddenly the set of double doors leading into the cafeteria swing open. In struts Scott Naket. Speedy Riggs enters behind Naket. We are than taken to a camera angle outside of the double doors. We see PCW officials chaining the doors so no one can escape until there is a winner. We go back inside where Naket is carefully walking through the cafe looking for the missing Chef. Suddenly a cream pie comes blazing across and smashes Scott Naket right smack dab on his face. Naket begins to wipe his face of the cream when he is suddenly drilled by a giant soup ladle wielding Chef. Naket stumbles away with cream dripping from his face. Chef follows behind Naket and smashes Naket over the back with the ladle. Naket drops to a knee. Chef winds up with a Mark Mcgwire style swing and hits a home run with the cranium of Naket. Naket drops to the floor. Chef holds the ladle up and sees he has bent it to the shape of Naket's head. Chef throws the ladle down to onto Naket and begins stomping away at the Hott one. Chef pulls a hurt Naket up to his feet and whips him into the food warmers. Chef sprints toward Naket and looks for a splash but Naket moves causing Chef to slam hard into the cafe food stand. Naket grabs the back of Chef's head and slams it off of the stand a series of times. He then pulls Chef's head up for a moment then submerges Chef's head into the piping hot, sliced Roast beef. Chef struggles and squirms to free himself but to no avail. We can hear his screams muddling from the burning hot food.

Naket: Where's the beef fatty!?!?

Naket pulls Chef away from the Roast and whips Chef to the ground. Chef is wiping and grabbing at his face in pain from the burns. Naket grabs one of the round tables and flips it over on top of Chef. Chef pulls himself from beneath the table and crawls away a bit. Naket grabs one of the chairs that had been placed at the table and methodically follows Chef. Naket makes his way in front of Chef cutting off His path. Chef is on his knees groveling at Naket's feet. Naket holds the chair high above his head to crack Chef when suddenly Chef delivers a tremendous low blow. Naket drops the chair and keels over grabbing at his beanbag. Chef gets to his feet and body slams Naket onto the chair. Naket rolls over in pain trying to shake the pain away. Chef grabs Naket and brings him back over to the Cafe food stand. He picks Naket up and slams him onto the tray runway on the food stand. Chef grabs Naket by the back of his pants and head and runs him down the tray runway and sliding off crashing to the floor. Chef grabs a lunch tray from a random pile of trays and snaps it in two over the head of Naket. Chef pulls a near unconscious Naket to his feet and submerges his head in the gigantic Shazbot cooler full of ice and soda. Naket's arms flail about as his head is buried among the ice and soda. Naket mule kicks Chef in the family jewels. Chef drops to a knee stunned. Naket digs his arm into the cooler and is seemingly fishing for something. Suddenly Naket whips out a 7 up can. He looks at the can with a sinister smile. He goes to pop the top then shakes his head rethinking his plan and

Naket: Make 7- UP.....

Naket smashes the can over the head of Chef. ...

Naket: Yours baby!!!

The can bursts spraying soda wildly about the cafe. Naket then tips the gigantic cooler can onto Chef. Ice and soda cans spill about the area. Naket puts his weight onto of the cooler.........1..................2.........NO!! Chef gets out! Naket pulls Chef to his feet and tries to scoop him up for a body slam but slips amongst the ice cubes. Naket slips to his back with Chef crashing down hard onto of him..... ......1.................2. .......Naket gets his shoulder up. Chef and Naket get to their feet Chef whips Naket over toward the desert and fruit tables but Naket slips from the ice and slides head first into the table containing the fruit portions. The leg of the table crumbles and a large spread of fruits comes pouring down onto Scott Naket. Chef slips and slides his way over to Naket. he picks Naket up by the hair and smashes Naket's face into each of the delicious deserts. He pulls Naket up only to see the challenger's face bathed in an array of frosty and pudding delights. Chef throws Naket onto the table. Chef climbs his way onto the table as well.

Steven Smith: That's some damn strong wood to withstand those big boys!

Jeff Marx: Umm..yeah

Chef picks Naket up to his feet. Naket quickly starts to fire a barrage of right hands followed by a kick to the gut. He then pulls Chef in and nails the HOTT DROP THROUGH THE DESERT TABLE!!!! Naket drapes an arm over Chef.....1..............2...............3!!!

Winner and new TV champion: Scott Naket Time: 8:56

Jeff: Jesus, do we really have to hear Scott Naket gloat now?

Dave: Well, he is the new TV champWait, I am being told we have a camera in the back.

(We cut to the back to show Doug Troy drinking a can of SUUUUUUUUURGE. He looks all happy for some reason.)

Marx: Hey, I thought he wasn't supposed to be drinking that anymore.

Kern: Oh, give me a break Jeff

(We watch as Doug throws the can in the trash. In the background we see a young lady wearing a yellow tube top and mini-skirt come walking up to him. As she gets closer, we can recognize her identity. The lady is none other then Kid Wonder's good friend, and occasional valet, Christy. She walks up behind Doug. As he's about to walk away, she taps him on his shoulder. He stops, then turns around to see who it is. His look of happiness goes away in an instant.)

Doug: Well if it isn't the little $5 ho. Like what I did to your man on Friday?

(Doug gets a grin on his face but she's not amused.)

Christy: First off, I'm not his "girl". I'm only his on-again, off-again frind.

Doug: So little Skiddie can't keep friends full time now, huh.

Christy: Look, Doug, quit it with the hanky panky garbage for a minute. We need to talk.

(Doug gets a disgusted look on his face. He turns around to walk away, but she stops him.)

Christy: One way or another, you WILL listen to me.

Doug: And why should I do that?

Christy: Cause I've got some information you'd like to know.

Doug: Although I don't need any information from YOU, I guess I have no other choice. Go ahead, speak your part.

Christy: That was quite a number you did to Wonder there on Friday.

(Doug gets another grin on his face.)

Doug: Well, little Skiddie can expect more of it. After he cost me all that money, he MUST pay.

Christy: Yeah, well I have no problem with someone kicking his ass, as long as they do it MAN TO MAN. That's something you've never been able to do.

Doug: What are you talking about?

Christy: Well, from where I stood, it looked like a typical Doug Troy attack. This time it was with Smith instead of your DAMN running mates.

Doug: Smith didn't help me on Friday. I was the one that put little Skiddie through that table. He had nothing to do with it.

Christy: That's not what he's been saying.

(Doug looks at Christy with interest, and intent, now. She just stares back at him as he still wonders what she is talking about.)

Doug: What exactly DID he say?

(Doug and Christy continue their conversation as the feed cuts back to ringside.)

Jeff: (making a snoring sound)

Dave: Now that's rude! Falling asleep during a Kremmen promo is completely acceptable, but a Doug Troy promo? Ok, speaking of guys who can (sarcastically) light the mic on fire with their stick skills, let's head to the ring for our next match.

(The arena goes black. "Falling Away From Me" by Korn hits the PA system. Strobe lights come on and their is a pyro explosion on the entranceway. As the smoke clears, Reaper is standing there motionless. Then he walks slowly towards the ring, surveying the crowd along the way)

Clay Clayborne:Making his way to the ring, at a weight of 339 pounds.......REAPER

[The lights go out, and a woman's voice is heard saying "Thou Shall Be Written, Thou Shall Be Done" over and over. Then a big pyro explosion hits and "I Disappear" by Metallica goes thru the speakers as out from the back comes the Homicidal One with singapore cane in hand and Lizzy Borden by his side. As they both walk to the ring HAC lifts Lizzy to the ring apron and hands her the cane.And as HAC stands in front of Lizzy he lifts his arms in the air, and Lizzy lifts the cane in the air. As pyro in the ring explodes]

Clay Clayborne:His opponent, from Kansas City, Kansas, at a weight of 259 pounds......."HOMICIDAL" ANTHONY CAY

Reaper lays a beating on HAC as soon as he enters. He tosses HAC to the outside with relative ease and beats on him some out there. Reaper takes HAC and whips him into the guardrail. Reaper comes charging at him, but HAC gets a boot up. He starts to beat on Reaper with rights and lefts before rolling him back in. HAC looks under the ring and grabs a kendo stick. He then rolls back in but Reaper is back up. Reaper stomps on HAC some, then grabs the stick and beats HAC in the back with it. He then uses the kendo stick to choke HAC some. Once he's done choking him, Reaper makes a cover, 1.......2....HAC gets a shoulder up. Reaper whips HAC into the ropes, then throws him to the outside. Reaper calmly goes out there and drabs a chair. He hits HAC in the back with it, then drags him to the announce table. He tries slamming his head into the table, but HAC blocks, then repeatedly slams Reaper's head onto the table. HAC rolls Reaper into the ring, then goes under the ring and pulls out a table. HAC slides the table into the ring as Reaper slowly starts to get up on the inside. HAC waits as Reaper is getting up. Then, once he's up, HAC hits the Homicidal Spear. HAC walks over to the table and sets it up. He then grabs Reaper and pulls him up. HAC sets him up for the Homicidal Plunge, but can't lift him up. Reaper takes the opportunity and starts to beat on HAC some. He hits him with some forearms and punches.

Suddenly, Johnny Raindance sprints out of the back.

Jeff: Somebody call security!

Reaper then kicks HAC in the gut and plants him with the Gateway to Hell through the table. He walks over to make the cover, but Johnny Raindance lunges towards him and hits him with the OBSIDIAN ARROW. Then quickly leaves the ring and exits through the crowd. Lizzy comes over and revives HAC, who covers Reaper 1.......2.......3

WINNER: HAC TIME:4:21

Dave: Johnny Raindance just caused Reaper the match!

Jeff: Reaper picks up a much needed victory in this clash of jobbing titans!

Reaper gets up and begins to trade punches with HAC. Lizzy enters the ring and taps Reaper on the shoulder.

Dave: Now I don't know if she wants to do this!

Reaper spins around, and Lizzy hits him down low, you know, THERE. Reaper doubles over and Lizzy grabs a handful of hair and executes and face buster.

Dave: Whoa!!!

Reaper is down rolling around on the canvas. Lizzy laughs and dances around in a bizarre fashion before she helps her man from the ring.

Meanwhile in the back Chef and Bertha are shown cleaning up after the cafeteria match. Chef looks up at the monitor.

Chef: Mon petit et jue, Bertha! That Lizzy, is not bad, no?

Bertha: What the f^ck you getting' at!

Chef: (defensive) No! No! No! You misunderstand me, les jous buttercup!

Bertha bitch slaps Chef and storms our of the lockeroom.

Jeff: (mockingly serious) And those kinds of compelling vignettes are what make the PCW so special.

Dave: Speaking of special, Vegita is about to take on Novak. Let's head to the ring.

Jeff: (singing) Vegita-mitada!

Clay Clayborne: Already in the ring at this time.....VEGITA!!!

"Bad Religion" by Godsmack hits and after seven blaring base chords, yellow pyros go off on both sides of the entryway. Novak appears, waving his arms around screaming about something. He grabs Bob, his barb wire covered, nail encrusted chair and throws it at Jumbotron. He is covering his ears and pointing at the PA system. The music stops, then finally "Whiskey in a Jar" from Metallica hits the PA system. Novak pumps his fist into the air and the crowd goes nuts as he sprints towards the ring.

Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring. he hails from Peoria, Illinois......ED NOVAK!!

Vegita tackles Novak to the mat sending Bob to the outside. Vegita mounts Novak and starts delivering a series of thunderous rights and lefts. He pulls Novak to his feet and piledrives him to the mat. Vegita stomps away at Novak then hits a leg drop. Vegita covers.......1......2......NO!!! Vegita pulls Novak to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Novak is spun around and then driven to the mat with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Vegita covers Novak..1.............2........NO!! Vegita picks Novak up and frustratingly whips him out of the ring. Vegita follows him out. 1.......2..... Vegita is met by a series of furious right hands from Ed Novak..........3............4..... Novak stuns the big man then drops to a knee and delivers an uppercut to the family jewels. ........5..... Vegita keels over and is ddted to the floor. ...6... Novak hops onto the apron and leaps off crashing down with an elbow to the sternum of Vegita. .....7.....8...Novak whips Vegita back into the ring to stop the count. Novak climbs to the top rope and leaps off and nails a guillotine leg drop. Novak hooks the leg.........1.............2.........NO!! Vegita kicks out.

The Pariah Toby Alvarado makes his way to ringside.

Dave: What's he doing here?

Jeff: Do you really care?

Dave: No, not really!

Novak pulls Vegita up and whips him into the corner. Novak follows in but is stopped cold by a Vegita big boot. Novak stumbles back grabbing at his face but quickly regains his composure and charges back at Vegita but is slammed hard by a Vegita spinebuster. Vegita grabs Novak's legs and slingshots him into the corner. Novak's head rings hard off the steel ring post. Novak drops to the mat as a slow trickle of blood slowly starts to expose from his forehead. Vegita starts to pound away at Novak opening the wound to a steady stream. Vegita lifts Novak to his feet and whips him hard into the corner. Vegita goes in for a big stinger like splash but Novak moves out of harms way. Vegita is hung up on the corner. Novak pulls Vegita out of the corner and goes for the Brink of Insanity but he can not hoists the big man up. He goes for the lift again but Vegita punches out of the hold. He kicks Novak in the gut and delivers a crucifix powerbomb. Vegita hooks Novak up............1.................2.......

Dave: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!1

Jeff: YES!!!!!!!!!

..........3!!!! VEGITA UPSETS ED NOVAK!!!!

Winner Vegita Time: 5:50

Dave: Novak has lost to Vegita!!!!

Jeff: Good thing the title wasn't on the line!

Dave: You gotta figure it is just a matter of time until Vegita gets his shot at the Extreme Title. Speaking of title shots, Miyagawa is finally gonna get his long overdue shot at the cruiserweight title!

Jeff: (chuckling) Long overdue?

Dave: That's what it says on the cue cards!

The volume goes down in the arena as the first few strands of "Song 2" by Blur begins... suddenly, the vocal's kick in, accompanied by one pyro going off on either side of the door, and then Miyagawa leaps out through the entrance way, and makes his way down to the ring.

Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring at this time hailing from Anaheim, California.....MIYAGAWA!!!

Take a Look Around by Limp Bizkit blares over the arena. Jake Keeton struts out with the cruiserweight title draped around his waist.

Clay Clayborne: And his opponent. He is the PCW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION...........JAKE KEETON!!!

As Keeton hands the belt to Speedy Riggs Miyagawa attacks. Miyagawa nails Keeton with a series of vicious blows. Miyagawa whips Keeton into the corner. Miyagawa charges in and nails a back handspring elbow to Keeton. Keeton stumbles out only to be driven to the mat with a Miyagawa bulldog. Miyagawa hooks the leg......1......THAT'S ALL!! Miyagawa pulls Keeton to his feet and delivers a thunder driver (Juvi driver). Miyagawa quickly runs and springboards off the ropes looking to nail a moonsault but comes crashing down on the knees of Keeton. Keeton gets to his feet and lands a few well placed stomps on Miyagawa. Keeton hops up onto the second turnbuckle and delivers a Hart like elbow drop from the second rope. Keeton covers.......1................2......Miyagawa kicks out. Keeton pulls Miyagawa to his feet and sends him into the ropes. Keeton charges for a clothesline but Miyagawa turns it into a hurricane ddt. Miyagawa rolls Keeton up ................1................2............Kickout!! Miyagawa pulls Keeton up and goes for a scoops slam.....Keeton counters into a small package.......1..............2.........NO!!! Miyagawa hops up and quickly starts putting the boots to Keeton. Miyagawa quickly shoots off the ropes and dropkicks Keeton to the head while he recouped on a knee. Miyagawa is like a man on a mission as he pursues Keeton. He pulls Keeton to his feet and sends him into the ropes. Keeton goes for a huracana but Miyagawa counters with a sit out powerbomb.......1...........2..............3.NO!.....NO!....KEETON GOT HIS SHOULDER UP!!

Brock Newbludd is shown walking down the aisle with a cooler full of beer.

Dave: He's not gonna lose weight by downing those brews!

Miyagawa pulls Keeton to his feet and whips him into the corner. Miyagawa goes for another back handspring back elbow splash but Keeton somehow latches onto Miyagawa. Keeton whips Miyagawa around and delivers a head in arm suplex. Miyagawa comes crashing down on the top of his head. Keeton slowly crawls over to Miyagawa and drapes an arm over him........1............ ..........2.........MIYAGAWA GETS THE SHOULDER UP!! Keeton slowly drags Miyagawa to his feet and body slams him to the mat. Keeton goes to the top rope. Miyagawa quickly rushes to his feet and splashes onto the ropes causing Keeton to come crashing down on the top turnbuckle and being hung out to dry. Miyagawa gets a running start and dropkicks the helpless Keeton from the tope turnbuckle and crashing down to the floor. Miyagawa goes to the opposite side of the ring and perches like a vulture waiting for it's next meal as Keeton slowly gets to his feet. Miyagawa sprints and launches for a suicide plancha but Keeton steps out of the way and Miyagawa crashes down hard onto the floor.........1..........2..... Keeton takes advantage and hoists Miyagawa up and drops him throat first on the railing.........3...........4.....Keeton goes to whip Miyagawa into the ring steps but Miyagawa reverses it and sends Keeton crashing into the steps......5............6.....Keeton lays huddled against the steps. Miyagawa charges at Keeton for a dropkick but Keeton rolls out of the way......7..............8..........Keeton slides back into the ring.......9............Miyagawa stumbles to his feet................10!!

Winner via count out: Jake Keeton Time: 6:17

Dave: So Jake Keeton manages to hold onto the cruiserweight belt despite a stiff challenge from Miyagawa.

Steven: Heheheheheheeheh, you said stiff

Brock Newbludd slides into the ring and offer Keeton a beer. Keeton accepts, only to have Newbludd waffle him in the head with a beer can punch. Keeton goes down, while the now broken can of beer sprays everywhere. Newbludd catches some beer in his mouth then spits it on the downed Keeton.

Newbludd pulls out a microphone.

Newbludd: Hey Keeton, guess what! I weighed myself today and found I was 232 lbs. Only two more pounds to shed then I'll be coming for my cruiserweight title!

Newbludd gives Keeton a couple of kicks then exits the ring.

Jeff: The Innovator is getting a little bit of a Meanstreak! I like it!

Dave: Well, I don't know if I like it.Wait, I am being told we need to head to the back.

We cut to "Genetic Perfection" Johnny Smith's locker room. He's got his jacket on, bags packed, and is ready to leave the arena. He opens his locker room door to leave when, all of a sudden, a young lady appears at the door. She is wearing a pink top and leather pants. After a second look, we recognize that it is none other then Kid Wonder's beautiful girlfriend, Amanda.)

Kern: What have we got going on here?

(Smith just stands there and stares with a smile on his face. She looks at him with a look of disgust.)

Smith: I always knew you'd come around.

Amanda: Can it Johnny!

Smith: What's wrong, you still upset that I put your little boy through the table.

(Amanda goes to slap him, but he grabs her arm)

Smith:Nothing is stopping me from taking you out right now.

Amanda: Well, Johnny, I've got a little something you want.

(Johnny lets go of her and looks interested. She just stares at him like he's an idiot as he smiles at her.)

Johnny: What is it?

Amanda: I've been coming out with Jimmy for the past 6 or 7 months. And, after watching the pro game, I know stuff like Friday night is gonna happen.

Johnny: And it's gonna happen a lot more, you better believe it.

Amanda: Whatever. Now I've grown to accept the fact that crap like that is gonna happen. But when it takes 2 BIG, STRONG men like you and Doug to take out someone as little as he is.

Johnny: What the hell are you talking about, woman. I took your little boy out on Friday and you know it.

Amanda: That's not what Doug's been saying.

Johnny: Is that so?

(She just nods her head)

Smith: What all HAS Douggy been saying?

(Amanda finishes talking to Smith as the feed goes back to the announcers.)

Jeff: I could care less about this

Dave: Well, we can't make all the people happy all of the time. I know this next match will make Steven happy.

Steven: The VIOLATOR BABY!!!

Clay Clayborne - In the ring at this time, the Ana-- The Violator!

The crowd gives no reaction as the Violator stands on the top rope and taunts the crowd. Several people hold up "I Came To See Christy" signs. Suddenly, "Bawitdabaw" by Kid Rock blasts through the speakers. Kid Wonder, flanked by Amanda and Christy, as "MY NAME IS KID!" blares over the PA system. The music switches to "Glory" by Sugar Ray as the teenage girls in the audience scream in ecstacy. Kid Wonder gets into the ring, leaving his lovely ladies outside, and begins taking off his silk jacket. Suddenly, the Violator charges up from behind and hits a shoulder block, knocking KW over.

Steven Smith - Go Violator! I love you!

Jeff Marx - You are such a mother fu--

Dave - Ahem! The Violator is taking advantage of Kid Wonder's distraction, and starting the fight before the fight started!

Marx - What Dave is trying to say is that he's retarded.

Dave - Shut up.

The Violator lays in the boots as Kid Wonder tries to get to his feet. He grabs the ropes and pulls himself up, as Amanda frets over him. Violator runs backwards across the ring and bounces off the ropes, going for a clothesline. KW ducks under it and as the Violator bounces back, he delivers a hard roundhouse to the face. The Violator stumbles back into the ropes, and Kid Wonder comes up with a hard knee to the chest. Violator flips over the ropes and lies motionless on the ground. KW pumps up the crowd as the referee goes to ringside to check on the fallen Violator.

Steven - That...that awful man hurt Violaty!

Marx - There aren't words to express how gay you just sounded, Steve.

The Violator finally rolls back into the ring, and crawls slowly over to the motionless Kid Wonder. He covers KW, weakly hooking the leg.

Dave - That's it, this is over. Kid Wonder's knocked cold!

Steven - Go Violaty!

Speedy Riggs makes the count. 1...2... Kid Wonder kicks out! The crowd erupts as an exasperated Violator struggles back to his feet. He loses his balance and stumbles back across the ring as KW gets up. Violator begins walking back towards him, when suddenly Kid Wonder bounces off the ropes and hits him with the Wonder Drop! The crowd explodes as KW hops back to his feet, stumbles a bit, looks at the seemingly unconcious Violator, and signals the So Wonderful!

Steven - NOOOOOO!

Dave - That's it! The Violator is down, and Kid Wonder is headed for the top rope! SO WONDERFUL!

Kid Wonder leaps off the turnbuckle with a frog splash, then turns it into a guillotine leg drop! Violator spasms around, until KW covers him, hooking the leg. The ref drops and counts. 1...2...3!

Clay Clayborne - The winner of this match...KID WONDER!

Winner: Kid Wonder Time: 3:37

Dave: We need to immediately head to a commercial! We will be right back!

(Commercial: PCW Decimation, Sunday December 17th, 2000 live on Pay Per View. Call your local cable company today!)

(The camera cuts back to Kid Wonder's locker room where it looks as if he's playing with something. He doesn't look one bit tired after his match with The Violater. As his back is turned to the camera, the door opens and in walks Christy. And, boy, she does not look happy.)

Christy: I hope you're happy! I just had to spend some 10 minutes "pleasing" Doug Troy just so he'd listen. Whatever it is you are doing, it better be good.

(As she continues to talk, Wonder's back remains turned. At that moment, the door opens again and Amanda comes in looking pissed. She grabs a bag sitting nearby and throws it at Wonder, narrowly missing him. That near miss got his attention and he turns around.)

Wonder: What's your problem?

Amanda: Because of you, I just had to sit in the same locker room as Johnny Smith.

Wonder: He didn't try anything, did he? Cause if he did.........

Amanda: No, he didn't try anything funny.

Wonder: Then what you mad about?

Amanda: But I had to sweet talk to him just so he'd listen. Whatever this thing is you're doing, it better be good.

Wonder: Well, I just finished one thing. Like it?

(Wonder moves away to show that he has made a replica of the PCW title on the "Light Bright". Amanda's mad look goes to a look of, well, confusion.)

Amanda: What is it?

Wonder: What is it? It's the PCW title, that's what it is. And I plan on having that thing with me sometime soon. You deserve all the gold in the world little princess.

(Wonder and Amanda start to get all close, acting all mushy. Christy lets out a couple fake coughs to get their attention away from each other.)

Christy: What is it you plan on doing?

Wonder: Well, if all goes according to plan, you'll find out very soon. Now let's just sit back and enjoy the rest of the evening.

(Wonder gets an evil grin on his face as we cut to commercial.)

(Commercial: PCW is brought to you by Lite Brite)

Dave: Welcome back! This just happened moments ago!

The scene shifts to the back. A small graphic in the corner of the screen reads "Moments Ago. "Doug Troy is show walking through the back. Suddenly, Genetic Perfection Johnny Smith appears from a side room and slams DT with a trashcan. DT goes down, but before GP can follow up, a swarm of security.

Dave: Ok, we need to head to the ring where Cain Manson Crow and Kris Kanton are already getting it on?

Steven: Getting it on!! OOOOh!

A stinging slap is heard as the scene shifts to the ring.

"Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers hits the sound system of the arena,

followed by a chorus of boo's from the fans. Alan Kriegman, in all his

maniacal glory, emerges from under the entrance screen and strikes a

dramatic (yet comical) martial arts pose at the top of the rampway. He

walks down to the ring with a sinister look on his face, grinning with

anticipation.

Clay Clayborne: Now making his way to the ring, hailing from

Pleasantville, New Hampshire........ALAN KRIEGMAN!!!

"FEEL GOOD" By [(Hed)PE] blasts over the PA system as the spotlight

beams twirl around the entrance. Moments later "The Franchise" makes his

way from the backstage area to be greeted with a mass of boos and

cheers. Pillars of flames explode from the sides of the ramp as he makes

his way to the ring. His red and black Armani suit top is slid off and

handed to the ringside assistant.

Clay Clayborne: His first opponent from Death Valley,

California........... "THE FRANCHISE" CHUCK MANSON!!!

Total darkness befalls the arena right before The Preacher begins to

walk down the Ramp. Then the theme from the movie The Omen begins to

play as The Preacher appears and begins to walk to ringside.

Clay Clayborne: Their opponent, He hails from Biloxi, Mississippi. He

is the PCW World Heavyweight Champion...THE PREACHER!!!!

Preacher slides into the ring and is immediately welcomed by the stomps of Kriegman and Manson. They two men whip Preacher into the ropes. Kriegman delivers a knee to Preacher's gut and Manson charges after and snaps a swinging neck breaker onto the doubled over Preacher. Kriegman grabs the downed Preacher and begins to pound away at him with a series of furious right hands. Manson signals for Kriegman to bring Preacher to his feet. Kriegman pulls Preacher to his feet and holds him. Manson backs up a few steps and drills Preacher with a haymaker. Kriegman whips Preacher into the corner Manson charges in and splashes Preacher. Kriegman follows in with a stiff knee. Kriegman then pulls back and starts nailing Preacher with a series of rapid fire right hands. Manson charges in behind and splashes onto Kriegman's back sandwiching Kriegman and Preacher between himself and the turnbuckle. Manson pulls Kriegman to the center of the ring and powerbombs him. Manson rolls him up...........1.............2........PREACHER DIVES IN TO BREAK THE PIN. Manson springs up and takes a big right at Preacher but Preacher blocks it and kicks Manson to the gut, Preacher capitalizes and delivers a gut wrench back breaker on the 6'10 Manson. Kriegman gets to his feet and charges at Preacher but Preacher side steps and whip Kriegman over the top rope to the floor. Preacher lifts Manson up on his shoulder.

Preacher methodically struts around the ring with Manson on his shoulder. He drops Manson down into a shoulder breaker. Preacher quickly slaps on an arm bar. Manson drags himself to the ropes and Preacher is forced to break the hold. Preacher lifts Manson to his feet and hoists him up for a suplex but out of nowhere Alan Kriegman sprints in and clips the back of Preacher's knee. Preacher crumbles to the mat. Manson comes crashing down on top of his head. Kriegman grabs the leg of Preacher and drives it knee first into the mat a series of times. Kriegman lays Preachers leg on the bottom rope. Kriegman leaps and splashes onto the exposed leg of Preacher. Manson gets to his feet and takes a wild swing at Kriegman but Kriegman locks Manson's arm and spins him around into an Impaler. Kriegman makes the quick cover and hooks the leg......1.............2.......NO!! Manson kicks out. Kriegman gets up but is quickly knocked into a turbulent corkscrew by a vicious Preacher clothesline that turns Kriegman inside out. Preacher stomps Kriegman and kicks him out of the ring. Preacher turns to make his way back toward Manson but Manson is right in Preacher's face. Manson drives himself and Preacher up and over to the floor with a clothesline. Manson gets to his feet as well does Kriegman. Manson and Kriegman begin trading shots back and forth. Manson's shots start taking a tollon Kriegman. Manson grabs a stunned Kriegman and whips him into the guardrail. Preacher is up and makes his way over toward the announcers table. he grabs a steel chair and heads over to Chuck Manson and Alan Kriegman.

Manson presses Kriegman into the air and drops him throat first across the guardrail. Suddenly Preacher smashes Manson over the back with the steel chair dropping Manson to a knee. Preacher winds up and smashes the chair over the head of Manson. Preacher grabs Kriegman and shoves him further up the runway. Preacher cracks AK over the cranium with the chair. The chair bent from the impact. Preacher discards the chair and picks Kriegman up and body slams him onto the runway. Preacher leaves Kriegman hurt on the runway and makes his way back toward Manson who is just getting to his feet. Preacher sprints and levels Manson with a clubbing forearm that knocks Manson back to the floor. Preacher pulls Manson to his feet and goes to whip him into the steel ring steps but Manson reverses it and sends Preacher into the steps. Preacher's legs smash the steps and he flips up and over the steps. Manson grabs the steel steps and drops them onto Preacher. Manson whips Preacher in the ring. Manson goes in and climbs to the second turnbuckle and leaps off delivering an elbow drop onto Preacher. Manson hooks the leg....1...........2.......Kickout by the Preacher. Manson pulls

Preacher to his feet and goes for the SELL OUT but Preacher fights his way out of it with a series of elbows. He pushes Manson away and kicks him to the gut. Preacher locks onto Manson and nails the LAST RITES OUT OF NOWHERE!!!! cover by Preacher...........1.................2........3!!!! NO!! No!!! MANSON HAS HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!! Preacher is furious. He starts to furiously pound Manson's head off the mat.

Alan Kriegman has gotten back to his feet and slides into the ring. He

grabs Preacher and spins him around.......THE END!!!! HE GOT THE BIG

MAN IN THE END!!!! Kriegman covers......1...............2..........PREACHER KICKS OUT!!! PREACHER KICKED OUT OF THE END!!!! Kriegman frustratingly pulls Preacher to his knees and starts kneeing him with a fury. Suddenly Chuck Manson scrambles up behind Kriegman and spins him around and nails the SELL

OUT!!!!! Manson hooks Kriegman's leg.....1.............2........PREACHER DIVES ON TOP OF MANSON AND BREAKS THE PIN!!! All three men lay beat and exhausted in the ring. The ref starts to issue a

count......1................2............3....................4............Preach starts to show movement..........5..................6..........Manson is

starting to come around.........7.............8..Preacher gets to his knee while Manson pulls himself up with the ropes. Preacher charges at Manson and nails him with a big boot that sends Manson up and over to the floor. Manson takes a nasty spill to the outside, smashing his head off the guardrail. Preacher turns and sees Kriegman back on his feet. Preacher charges at AK but AK takes him down with a drop toe hold. Preacher comes crashing down face first on the mat. Kriegman jumps up and leg drops the back of Preachers head. The evil genius slides out and grabs a chair from ringside. He stalks back toward the ring and sees Manson pulling himself up with the apron. Kriegman waffles Manson over the back of the head with the chair and drops him to the floor motionless. Kriegman slides in and drives the steel chair into the knee of Preacher. Kriegman then slightly opens the chair and puts Preacher's ankle into it. He then closes the chair on it. Kriegman goes to the second rope and comes crashing down onto the chair. The Preacher flops

like a fish out of water due to the agonizing pain. Kriegman runs into the ropes but his feet are pulled out from under him by a bloody Chuck Manson. Manson pulls Kriegman out of the ring and nails him with a few European uppercuts. He then sends Kriegman into the steel ring post head first. Kriegman drops to the floor and sits in a huddled daze. Manson slides into the ring and starts stomping away at the Preacher. Manson pulls the chair off of Preacher and pulls him to his feet. Manson drops and nails Preacher with a low blow. Manson then pulls Preacher's head between his legs. Manson positions himself over the chair. MANSON PILEDRIVES PREACHER ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!! Manson hooks the leg........1.............2........NO!!! PREACHER KICKS OUT!!! Manson pulls Preacher to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Alan Kriegman pulls down the top rope. Preacher flips up and over and crashes down on the floor head first. Kriegman pulls himself up on the apron. Manson goes to grab Kriegman but Kriegman drives his shoulder into the midsection of Manson and pulls himself in with a sunset flip.......1.............2.........NO!! Manson kicks out!!

Manson springs up and starts pounding Kriegman. Kriegman ducks a Manson right hand and it connects with the jaw of referee Speedy Riggs. He tumbles out of the ring and is out. Buzz Meacham comes out to take his place.

Preacher spins Manson around and hits him with LAST RITES.Buzz Meacham hits the ring late12..cover broken by a kick to the spin from Kriegman. Preacher slowly rises. Kriegman continues to kick away at the mid section of Preacher, but Preacher begins to get up. Kriegman pulls out a foreign substance (flour) and flings it into the eyes of the Preacher. Buzz Meacham looks like he is going to call for the bell, but an blinded and enranged Preacher reaches out and grabs him (thinking he is Kriegman) and hits him with a CHOKE SLAM!!!

Dave: Two refs are down.

Kriegman seizes this opportunity the pull out a foreign object from his suit jacket.

Dave: Is that a tazer!?!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!

Jeff: Yep!

Preacher goes down. Kriegman makes the cover but there is no one to count. Kriegman shocks Manson for good measure then stands up and looks at his watch. Suddenly, the Pimply Faced Intern Kid rushes out of the back wearing the referee's stripes!

Jeff: What the?!!?

Right behind the Pimply Faced Intern Kid, runs Kid Wonder, Amanda and Christy.

Dave: Chaos has errupted!

Christy and Amanda catch up to the PFIK and push him to the ground. Then they begin laying the platforms to him.

Jeff: Look at him. What a wuss!!

Kid Wonder streaks to the ring, bounds up on to the apron, then leaps ontop of the ropes and springs out at a shocked Kriegman, connecting with a hurricirana. Kriegman is down and grabbing his head. Kid Wonder quickly scampers to the top and executes SO WONDERFUL on Kriegman.

Amanda and Christy have pulled PFIK's referee shirt up over his head and he is having trouble untangling himself.

The scene shifts to the back momentarily where Scott Naket is enjoying a 7-UP (which the logo has been digitally blurred) He is watching PFIK struggle with his shirt. He looks up at the monitor and snickers.

Naket: Bufoon!

Back in the ring, Kid Wonder, Amanda and Christy have layed all three men on their backs, and placed each man's arm on top of one another. Christy and Amanda are giving Referee's Speedy Riggs and Buzz Meacham smelling salts, bringing them back to consciousness. PFIK has finally untangled himself from his own shirt.

Kid Wonder exits the ring.

A dazed Buzz Meacham, a groggy Speedy Riggs and a frazzled PFIK all climb into the ring and count simultaneously count1..2..3!!!!

Dave: What the hell?

Buzz Meacham grabs The Preacher's arm and raises it. Speedy Riggs raises Chuck Manson's arm, and (perhaps predictably at this point) The Pimply Faced Intern Kid grabs Alan Kriegman's arm and raises it.

Jeff: Who the hell won?

The three ref's look at each other with confused looks on their faces.

Dave: We are absolutely out of time! All three men are out! Three different referees have each announced a different winner!

Jeff: But who is the champ?!?! WHO IS THE CHAMP!?!?!?

The camera focuses on all three competitors who are still down. The referees continue to look at each other with baffled looks on their faces as Turmoil fades to black.