(John walks to mailbox, pulls out a bunch of mail. Onstage should be a trashcan and a bench.)

John: (speaking to audience) Why am I the only one who ever gets the mail? I go away for 4 days on a business trip, and all the mail is still in the mailbox. (walk over to trash can, sit on bench.)

This is how I deal with junk mail. (reading envelopes, toss after each junk mail) 0% APR credit card, get up to $50,000 out of your house, get 20 CDs for just ten cents, earn up to $100,000 a year working just 10 hours a week, oh, credit card bill (set on bench), credit card bill, (pause, look ashamedly at audience), credit card bill (pause)

What's this? John Turner, 1818 Roland Way. That's me. No return address. (Set rest of bills down, open letter.)

(reading the portions in quotes) "Dear John," You don't know how bad it is having a first name of "John". Every letter is a "Dear John" letter.

"I didn't know how to tell you all this in person, because we never talk anymore. You always get the mail and open it, so I figured I could get your attention this way." (look to bottom of letter, read name.) Margaret? (confused) What do you mean we don't talk? You can't be married and not talk! (go back to top)

"I feel like we're drifting apart. Like we have separate lives. I don't know when it happened. I think it began when you had to start working more hours because of that promotion. I thought the money would be nice, and I really like our house, but it's not a home, anymore, because you're never there. Now, you're travelling every week, and the kids have been asking when you're going to find time for them. Well, Tom and Darcy have. Tracy stopped talking altogether about 6 months ago. I can't get her to open up, anymore."

"I need you back, John. I need you to talk with me. Spend time with me. I feel like our relationship is dying, but you can't see it, because you're busy making money."

"Something needs to change, and it needs to change soon. I love you, but, I can't go on like this.

Your loving wife,

Margaret"

(Sit in stunned silence for a moment.)

I... I... didn't know. I thought everything was fine. I knew Tracy had been quiet, but I figured that was just teenagers. I know I've been gone, but I thought that was ok. I guess I never really asked. It just came with the job. Well, if she needs to change things, then, things need to change. I can take another position... we can move to a smaller house. I guess I didn't know time was so important to her.

(more confident) If it needs fixing, we'll fix it. (Put letter and envelope on the credit card bill pile), go back to letters.

Consumers power... (put on bill pile).

What's this? Donovan, Brown, and Young, attorneys at law? (set rest of pile down, open letter.)

"Dear Mr. Turner" (mumble like you're reading the letter, but not saying the words.)...

(suprise and shock): Divorce?!?! I don't even get a chance? I just got your letter! (grab letter and envelope, pause at the date, then read postmark) Dec 18th, 2001. (Look back and forth from letter to envelope.) It's too late, now? I didn't get the message in time. (take mail, and exit.)