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Phoebe: Ok, If Piper ever comes back, I'm going to kill her.
Cole: Ladies, my name is Cole Turner. I'm the Assistant district attorney assigned to this case, so I was wondering if either of you saw what happened here
Phoebe: I did!
Phoebe: Nervous?
Prue: Oh, you know witches and trials. It's that whole Salem thing.
Phoebe: All I know is..Cole is an angel. He was awesome in that courtroom yesterday.
Prue: See something you like, sis?
Phoebe: Maybe. Or maybe it's just nice to run into someone who's not a college boy. You know, more years, less hormones.
Prue: Not a bad butt, either.
Piper: Who's Cole? What did you do to your hair?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Leo: Piper!
Piper: Leo, who you talking to?
Leo: Me? Nobody, just myself.
Piper: Yourself? You were telling yourself how much you love you?
Leo: Piper, I told you I thought this whole thing through.
Piper: Uh huh, is that why you asked me to marry you in a toilet?
Phoebe: You got the Barenaked ladies, how?
Piper: Actually, I just made a couple phone calls.
Phoebe: And I can't even get Barry Manilow on the phone.
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Prue: She's gonna choose you.
Phoebe: Is not
Prue: You get to hang out with her a lot more.
Phoebe: You've known her longer, there was that whole bonding time before I was even born.
Prue: Ok, she was 1, and I was 3. What did we bond over, diapers and drooling?
Phoebe: Leooooo!!
Leo: Shhh!
Phoebe (whispering): Leoooooo!
Phoebe: If I had a dollar for everytime I saw an owl turn into a hot guy on our porch, I'd be...
Piper: We've seen worse.
Phoebe: I don't get it. If our ancient compilations of spells, witchcrafts, and rituals cant help us, what makes you think Martha Stewart can?
Phoebe: Assistant district attorney, we have to stop meeting like this.
Cole: You better be careful, a guy might think he's being followed.
Piper: You better be careful, or a girl might think her sister's getting a really cheesy pick up line.
Piper: I swear to God, I've seen this in a movie somewhere.
Grams: The charmed ones are destined for greatness, but that fact doesn't keep a girl warm on a cold winters night.
Phoebe: So add a blanket. Grams, I can't believe you're saying this.
Grams: I'm saying what I know. I remember the loneliness all too well.
Phoebe: You were married 4 times.
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Piper: Leo's not coming back.
Prue: Honey, it was just a bad dream.
Piper: No, it wasn't, it was real. I don't understand, why are they doing this to us. It's like destroying lives is how they amuse themselves.
Prue: Piper, watch what you say.
Piper: Why ? What are they gonna do to me ? They couldn't hurt me more then they already have.
Phoebe: Uh, keys ?
Prue: What ?
Phoebe: You know, silver shiny things that go jingle, jingle.
Piper: Come on Phoebe, trolls and fairies ? You don't believe that stuff.
Phoebe: Sure, why not ?
Piper: Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa.
Piper: If they were, you would've seen what had clawed her ? Why are you being so stubborn about this ?
Phoebe: Because I'm a Scorpio. What's your excuse ?
Prue: Okay, so it's kind of late and, um, we're all a bit tired, so how about we finish this up tomorrow ?
Phoebe: Now look what you did. You went and turned Prue into the middle child.
Phoebe: Did you not look at those drawings ?
Piper: They're cute, yes.
Phoebe: Cute ? Cute ? We all had the same invisible fairy friend, Piper. That is proof that fairies exist.
Piper: Or it proofs that one of us had a really fertile imagination and the other two were really good copycats.
Piper: Okay, what ass backward spell did you guys cast ?
Prue: We.. we.. we didn't cast a spell.
Phoebe: No, it's true, we did not cast a spell but we did use fairy dust.
Piper: Fairy dust ?
Phoebe: Yep.
Piper: Okay, great, so you can go home now and reverse it, Tinkerbell.
Cole: Um.. It's a long drive home. Do you think I could use your restroom ?
Phoebe: Number 1 or number 2 ?
Prue: He has to go tootie.
Cole: Excuse me?
Prue: Sober. Stairs can be sobering.
Phoebe: Right. Okay, um, I'm really sorry about our plans there, Cole, I really am.
Cole: No worries. I'll keep trying.
Phoebe: Stairs can be sobering ?
Prue: Okay, what was I supposed to say ? That some unknown demon came in to try and steal our magic book and than little trolls came and pushed us down the stairs ?
Phoebe: Right, okay.
Phoebe: Very funny. Look, we need you to come home right away, by midnight or else...
Piper: The tooth fairy's gonna come and harass us all for not flossing ?
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Piper: Right, which is why you're dressed as the mistress of the dark.
Phoebe: This costume happens to be a protest statement.
Prue: I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.
Piper: Nice costume.
Darryl: Yeah, it's from my rookie days. Still fits.
Leo: Yeah, mine too.
Darryl: Aren't does from World War 2 ? Who are you ?
Piper: Don't tell me we've time traveled again ? I hate time traveling.
Phoebe: You do ? I was burned at the stake last time, remember ?
Prue: All right, lets try and make sure that doesn't happen again. From what they're wearing it Looks to be, what 16th, 17th century ?
Phoebe: Where the life expectancy of the average witch is, what fifteen minute ?
Prue: Alright, wait, uh, who do you think we are ?
Eva: The most powerful good witches of all time, of course.
Phoebe: Okay, lucky guess.
Prue: Okay, um, excuse us for a minute. Talk. Alright, I think that I have this figured out. I think that "they" sent us here and that's what Leo was trying to tell us.
Piper: Oh, leave it to them to zap first and give instructions never.
Piper: Who's gonna deliver the baby ?
Phoebe: Personally, I think you should considering we know that you're gonna have one in the future.
Prue: I second that.
Piper: Wait a minute.
Prue: Go, bye.
Piper: I always get the messy jobs.
Piper: And I helped to deliver our great, great, great, great, whatever, great grandmother.
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Prue: Oh! Oh! Sean.. Just give him a drink.
Piper: If we give him anymore, we're gonna have to send him to an AA meeting.
Prue: How long is he been there?
Piper: I'd say about an hour, and 327 peanuts.
Piper: Do you think it was a human bad guy?
Darryl: Any other house, yeah. Around here, ya never know.
Darryl: Your whole attitude about security baffles me. You have no, no alarm system, no deadbolt, no dog.
Prue: Darryl, we're 3 witches. I think we can handle it.
Triad #1: We did not expect it to take this long.
Cole: You've had 2 years by their time without success, I've had a month.
Triad #2: A month with 2 years worth of information. Information collected by the blood of demons before you.
Prue: Yeah, well I was up in the attic, and when I woke up, there was a pillow hovering above my face about to smother me.
Piper: A pillow?
Phoebe: Hovering? Well that must be the infamous pillow smothering demon.
Phoebe: Prue, this is important. Maybe the guy who broke into the house took them.
Prue: Yeah, or maybe it was a demon who took them for some weird ritualistic ceremony.
Piper: What is this?
Prue: A way to always be prepared.
Phoebe: These are very big contraceptives, Prue.
Prue: They're sneakers, alright. You know we are always wearing inappropriate footwear when demons attack. Now we will be prepared. Keep them with you at all times.Phoebe: I am gonna be so fast in these.
Phoebe: I'm bummed for you piper, I really am, but I gotta tell you. Leo is looking fine!
Piper: I thought you said you didn't see anything.
Phoebe: Well, nothing good.
Phoebe: Here's my stalker list. It's mostly guys I knew when I was in new york.
Piper: Wow. You were busy in new york.
Phoebe: What happened to there's a demon on my ass Prue?
Prue: Well, um I set a trap.
Piper: a trap?
Prue: we are gonna catch this demon, and instead of vanquishing him like we usually do, we're gonna make him talk about the triad.
Phoebe: So, is this like a bear trap? With big claws?
Piper: this is not good
Phoebe: no, if she keeps this up we're gonna have to do a demon intervention.
Piper: Cole?!
Phoebe: What?
Prue: Wait. It could be dangerous.
Phoebe: For god's sake Prue, He looks really hurt.
Prue: Phoebe, It's a trap for demons. You do the math.
Cole: Do you know that your trap is the equivalent of having a loaded shotgun with a trip wire behind your front door? That's illegal! I'm an ADA, an officer of the court. I could have you arrested.
Phoebe: How could you? How far are you gonna let this obsession go, prue?
Prue: phoebe, listen.
Phoebe: No! I'm not gonna listen prue. You didn't nearly catch a demon, you nearly killed a district attorney. MY district attorney.
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Leo: I..I just can't believe you introduced me as a friend.
Piper: Okay, social malfunction. I hadn't seen the woman in years. I'm sorry.
Leo: I lost my wings for you, I've hurled my body into the path of oncoming demons, you wanted heaven, I took you there literally. I'm more than a friend.
Prue: No, no, no, I'll get the book alone. You guys have couple issues.
Piper: Wait, we have couple issues ?
Prue: Resentment, denial. Be nice.
Piper: Phoebe, where were you when I called ?
Phoebe: Cole's.
Piper: You could've changed. All night ?
Phoebe: Mmhmm.
Piper: Did you...?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Piper: Was he...?
Phoebe: Uh huh !
Leo: Okay, can we talk about this later ?
Nurse: And who are you here to visit ?
Phoebe: Um, we came to visit our father.
Nurse: What's his name ?
Phoebe: Dad ?
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Phoebe: Hey Leo, do you think you could make yourself look like Brad Pitt?
Piper: Leo, you obviously do not have sisters. One minute you're arguing about something, and the next minute you're arguing about who stole who's Malibu Barbie in 1979.
Phoebe: He wants to have the talk. You know, are we a couple, are we a one nighter, are we friends, are we friends that had a one-nighter.
Cole: Wait, you actually wore a penguin costume?
Phoebe: Yes, and I handed out balloons to kids. I was 15, leave me alone. I needed a job.
Prue: Where's Phoebe?
Piper: The little witch is not home yet.
Phoebe: Ok, you're married.
Cole: What?
Phoebe: That's the big secret, you're married. You have 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a really cute cat, right? And I'm the seven-year itch.
Phoebe: About the other night.. Are you sorry that we... ?
Cole: Not at all, are you?
Phoebe: Depends on what happens next
Cole: Too bad you can't predict the future
Phoebe: Who says I can't?
Prue: Well, I see that you inherited dad's talent for bailing.
Phoebe: That's because the two of us couldn't stand living with the two of you.
Leo: Let's start with your little tiff.
Piper: Well little is an understatement, it was big.
Leo: How big?
Prue: Do you remember Pearl Harbor?
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Prue: Pigs feet.
Piper: Yech.
Prue: Yech ?
Piper: Yech.
Prue: So you can slice up a chunk of demon flesh but you can't touch a pigs foot ?
Piper: I'm a vegetarian.
Prue: Since when ?
Piper: Since now
Krell: Obviously not. Otherwise I wouldn't have needed to intercept your little calling card, now would I ?
Piper: Hey, you know what ? How about next time I just freeze your head and then maybe I could kick you in the...
Prue: Alright.
Prue: Alright, give us a minute. Come here. Alright, listen, here's the deal. Belthazor killed the Triad, now the Source wants him dead. Krell is trying to suck up to the Source so he wants to kill Belthazor.
Piper: Belthazor wants to kill us so the Source won't kill him.
Leo: And if you work with Krell you can vanquish Belthazor before he kills you.
Phoebe: Works for me.
Piper: What are we gonna do ?
Prue: We're gonna vanquish him.
Piper: We're gonna vanquish Phoebe's boyfriend ? That's gonna cause problems.
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Piper: Great, I'm going to go to my 10 year reunion and win most likely to scare people away at the door.
Prue: Mmm hmm. Who do you think helped Phoebe go blonde?
Leo: What do we do?
Prue: We double team. You help Phoebe with her demons and I will help Piper with hers.
Prue: Oh, I have one word for you: halitosis. And he only scored a two.
Piper: Oh, Prue, please don't tell me you're making lists again.
Prue: Oh, don't worry about him, Leo. He's just a friend from school. Besides, he had a really big crush on me. He used to follow me around like a puppy dog.
Prue: Now just remember, even if you can't tell them that you're a super witch, you can still act like it.
Prue: Wow. You only scored a four. That is just so sad.
Justin: Well, excuse me, but you only scored a five out of ten on my list.
Prue: Right, so I got an F but, dude, you got an F-minus.
Justin: Ouch. That's a bad high school flashback.
Piper/Terra: Okay. (to Missy) Hey! Bitch! Move the trays yourself.
Prue: Alright, um, that was great, although the bitch part might have been a little much.
Woman: Benjamin Coleridge Turner died in 1888, although there's no date of death for his wife. That's odd. There should be some record of that.
Phoebe: Um, they had a baby though, didn't they? I think.
Woman: Yes. A son. Cole Turner. Born in 1885. Never got to know his father, unfortunately.
Phoebe: Cole Turner. It can't be.
Woman: That's strange. There's no date of death for him either. Must be another clerical error. I can't imagine he's alive and kicking at 115.
Phoebe: No. Can't imagine that.
Piper's reflection: What the hell kind of demon has a panic attack when her boyfriend comes to visit?
Piper/Terra: Uh, Tom, you scared me. I didn't hear the door.
Leo: I didn't use the door. Did you just call me Tom?
Piper/Terra: Did I? Forgive me.
Leo/Terra: That I didn't expect. Little sibling rivalry I failed to take into account?
Phoebe: Shut up.
Prue: Bring Piper back to life and I'll let you keep Leo's body. Refuse and I'll put that knife through his heart and suck you back into the bottle forever.
Leo/Terra: But then your sister and her boyfriend would be dead. Not the world's smartest plan.
Prue: She's already dead. I have nothing left to lose.
Leo/Terra: Give me the bottle and I'll bring her back.
Phoebe: Bring our sister back and we'll give you the bottle.
Prue: Oh, I'm so sorry that you missed your reunion.
Phoebe: Put on a good show, though. Table dancing, cat fight.
Prue: Oh, what, kill you?
Piper: Yeah. Couldn't come up with a better plan, huh?
Prue: Um, no.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess I'm gonna call Morris to tell him about... the dead body in the alley.
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Prue: Hi, hey, alright, I need some professional help.
Phoebe: No arguments here.
Prue: Ha, cute.
Prue: I'm not gonna sing it for you.
Piper: Why not? Maybe we'll recognize it.
Prue: Okay. (She hums something.) Anything?
Piper: Nada.
Phoebe: I'm thinking if you try it again with a little bit more oomph, you know, maybe some choreography, and Piper could back you up with some old school beat box?
Prue: Why did I know that I would not get any help out of you crazy people?
Piper: Alright, I don't know what you guys are talking about, but what I've got is better... at least bizarrer.
Prue: Bizarrer?
Piper: Mmm hmm.
Prue: Is that even a word, Piper?
Piper: Whatever. Anyway, Cara called last night, and she had a meeting in the Bay Tech Building yesterday, and she swore that she saw Victor walking through the lobby.
Phoebe: As in dad Victor?
Piper: As in "we haven't spoken to him in a year, and now he's probably in town, and he hasn't even bothered to call us." Yes, that would be the one. Now you see my need to share?
Phoebe: Okay, riddle solved. Now you can stop humming that stupid song. So I think we were in the middle of you trying to make a strong argument of why you're not gonna go to Justin's barbecue. (Prue continues to stare at the truck.) Prue, if you keep ignoring me, my feelings just might actually implode.
Prue: No powers, no powers, no powers.
Phoebe: I'm not surprised, I'm not surprised, I'm not surprised.
Piper: Prue, it's me leaving you another message after leaving Phoebe another message. I tried you at work, but they said you never checked in after your shoot, so where are you guys? Uh, look, so call me, or better yet, just show up and save me from having to perform an impending awkward rejection all by myself.
Caleb: You've got sisters? Really? Well, maybe we could, all, uh, get together sometime. Does your fiance like to hang out with your sisters, too?
Piper: Okay, uh, you know what? I don't know what kind of kinky stuff you're into, but there's a club down the street you might be more comfortable in. They've got cages and rubber floors, and a three for two special on Fridays.
Phoebe: Why couldn't you get a boy band song in your head like everybody else?
Piper: Leo! Leo. It's about time.
Leo: Piper, I was busy.
Piper: Well, don't you have orb-waiting?
Leo: Why don't we try focusing on the positive? They're together.
Piper: That's it? That's your positive? Because I've got a list mile long in the negative column. They've been gone all night, Leo, and not even you can find them.
Piper: Where...
Phoebe: Where we? Oh, I would like to know the same thing.
Prue: All that we know is that we have to go back.
Piper: Wait a minute, is this demon or sibling related?
Phoebe: A little bit of both. We thought the good guys were bad guys, and in trying to vanquish them, we helped the real bad guys, which were dead ringers for good guys.
Leo: Was that English?
Piper: So, he's a demonic dog catcher, and he uses ice cream as bait? Great news for the lactose intolerant demons.
Piper: Welcome to Club Switzerland.
Prue: Alright, could we just curb the sarcasm there? I just didn't really feel like inviting him to our home for tea and cookies.
Phoebe: It's good to see you, daddy.
Victor: Oh, baby, you have no idea. Wow, what a place. This is yours, Piper? It's terrific. The three of you together. I hardly know where to begin.
Prue: Well, I have a suggestion. How about we just cut to the chase?
Piper: Uh, Prue, he just got here. Can't that wait, like, five minutes?
Piper: Why did I get the feeling these kids weren't looking to pick a fight with the Charmed Ones? They were just looking for the truck and we crashed their party.
Phoebe: But we're like a mile ahead. I mean, we know where it is.
Ari: It's in the junkyard.
Phoebe: Oh. Did I say a mile?
Phoebe: Alright, you little brats. Bring it on.
Victor: What's the story with this Leo character anyway? How much does he know about you?
Piper: Uh, just about everything.
Victor: Oh, so he's...
Piper: He's a wonderful man, yes.
Victor: Well, still I think I should have a little chat with him sometime.
Piper: Dad...
Victor: It's a father's prerogative.
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Prue: Ok, it's (BOS) up in the attic.
Natalie: Attic? You mean the altar room, don't you? The rules are perfectly clear. Every witch must keep her BOS in a sacred and protected spot.
Prue: Right, of course.
Leo: Maybe you can bring the book down here.
Prue: Yeah.. yeah! I'll just run up to the altar room, which by the way is right next to the potion lab and I'll be right back.
Prue: Piper froze you!
Natalie: She what?
Prue: Yep!
Leo: Didn't you hear what she said? Consulting with the Elders is for your own protection.
Piper: And siding with us for yours!
Natalie: You must prepare yourselves for battle mentally, physically, sartorially...
Phoebe: I'm sorry, what?
Piper: She doesn't like our clothes.
Natalie: You need outfits that are loose and move. That means no more braless, strapless and fearless attire.
Prue: Ok, but then I have nothing to wear.
Phoebe: Hey, if we don't vanquish Eames, can we at least vanquish Natalie?
Piper: Don't tempt me!
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Prue: Alright, what do we do if Darryl can't convince him to lay low?
Phoebe: Oh, well, we follow him and if a demon attacks we kick some wiccan ass.
Darryl: What happened? Why did you let him get away?
Prue: I know that demon. I dated that demon.
Leo: Phoebe.
Phoebe: I don't want to talk about it.
Leo: You have to tell them, Phoebe. You can't wait any longer.
Phoebe: Well, it's not really an easy thing to drop into conversation, Leo. You know, like, "Your hair looks great. Cole's not dead. I let him go."
Leo: Confession is good for the soul.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, how about we skip the confession part and go straight to penance? Okay, I will be such a force for good, the bad guys won't know what hit them.
Piper: So this is where this new wonder woman attitude comes from? A guilty conscience?
Prue: Hey, what's all this?
Phoebe: Oh, we were just looking for Tom. You know, with a little spell that we created.
Piper: You created.
Phoebe: Wow, you came up with the whole ritual that fast?
Piper: Actually, not as fast as you would think.
Piper: Rasputin! Get off the... get... Rasputin?
Darryl: You got a dog?
Phoebe: No, that's our Grams' dog, and he's been lost for
Piper: Seven years, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Okay, so there's one small side effect. We can handle that.
Phoebe: I cast a little spell.
Darryl: The less I know, the happier I am.
(Hundreds of socks fall out of the laundry room).
Phoebe: Okay, so it's a big side effect.
Piper: Those better be clean. If not, it's laundry day for you, missy. (They hear a door close.)
Piper: What was that?
Prue: That would be Tom escaping.
Phoebe: What?
Prue: Yeah, I loosened his ropes. I'm hoping to track him down to the demon that turned him, break him, break his hold on Tom. Anything that you can get me on Kellman I'd appreciate, okay?
Phoebe: Alright, I guess we're going now.
Piper: Remind me again why we are doing this.
Phoebe: Because your sisters have a thing for saving bad boys.
Piper: If I die before I get married, I'm gonna be really mad at the two of you.
Phoebe: Uh, Prue, there's one more thing.
Piper: Now? Now is your perfect moment?
Phoebe: Piper, we might die in there.
Piper: That doesn't mean you should tell her now.
Prue: Okay, tell me what?
Phoebe: Cole is still alive. I never really vanquished him.
Piper: Ah! If anything happens to me, he's gonna stay that way.
Phoebe (whispers): Is that true?
Piper (whispers): Yes.
Piper: Hey, you that bad feeling I was talking about? It's getting stronger.
Prue: Alright, you need to stay here and keep Tom frozen, okay?
Piper: I hate this crappy freezing power!
Prue: Alright, we have to save Piper.
Phoebe: How do we do that?
Prue: By kicking ass
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Leo: Great idea. Maybe she can bring some of her fairy friends. Or trolls, even better.
Piper: Okay, tell me the truth. Do you think I'm overdoing it with the wedding stuff? Hello?
Prue: Uh, okay, why is Phoebe going to school without her books?
Piper: Okay, why is Prue not answering Piper's question?
Cole: Okay, that's okay, I understand. As long as you didn't tell Leo. (Phoebe looks away.) Oh, for god's sake, Phoebe. Why didn't you just put an ad in the paper, tell the whole damn world!
Piper: Find her?
Phoebe: Not yet.
Piper: We're screwed.
Phoebe: Not yet.
Piper: Leo, what did you find out?
Leo: Nothing.
Phoebe: Okay, now we're screwed.
Male Planner: I revisited the dinner menu, Piper, and you are going to be thrilled. I have some dynamic choices that I...
Piper: I want pigs in blankets.
Cole: Phoebe, if what I found out is true, Prue's in serious trouble. She's been forced to marry a warlock.
Phoebe: Figures that bitch would steal Piper's thunder.
Phoebe: I just hope the wedding planners don't remember what we did to them.
Leo: Unfortunately, they will, but I doubt they'll believe what happened.
Piper: And unfortunately you will.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, Leo, sorry we killed you.
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Phoebe: Sleep. You've been yawning all day.
Prue: Try all week. It's this reoccurring dream I keep having. It's keeping me awake.
Phoebe: Really? What's in the dream?
Prue: Well, uh, there was this biker guy and he's kinda cute and kinda dangerous.
Phoebe: Sounds kinda yummy.
Grams: I'll see you tomorrow at 4:00, Mrs. Halliwell. The women keep their names in this family.
Inspector: Is that her? Is that the woman you were with last night?
TJ: Yeah, so what?
Inspector: So what's her name?
TJ: I don't know.
Inspector: Ah, you stick your tongue down her throat but you don't know her name?
TJ: That against the law?
Piper: It is bad luck to see the bride's dress before the wedding.
Leo: But you're not even wearing the dress.
Piper: The same rule applies to the bride's... curlers. Go away.
Prue: Yeah, I mean, look, I told you, you have nothing to worry about today, alright? It's going to be a demon-free day. (Cole shimmers in and scares Prue and Piper) Hey!
Cole: Sorry I'm late.
Piper: (to Prue) You were saying?
Piper: See? No matter what, a demon will attack today. It's just the natural order of our universe.
Phoebe: Piper, you have to stay positive. You know what? I have Celine Dion 'Behind The Music' on video cassette. Would you like to watch that?
Piper: Would you like to get slapped?
Patty: Hello, Victor, how are you?
Victor: Good. I mean, I was good. Alright, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?
TJ: Had to beat the cops. I won't let them take you.
Piper: Prue, what the hell is going on?
Phoebe: Prue, you get your astral ass back here
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Leo: Look, I can orb you because you're my wife but I'm not a cosmic taxi for the whole family.
Prue: Uh, yeah. Um, Leo, is there such a thing as death? Uh, I mean the Angel of Death.
Leo: Yeah, sure. Why?
Prue: Because I met him.
Phoebe: Uh, what, are you kidding me?
Prue: Yeah. I kicked ass.
Cole: No, you kicked air.
Cole: Inspector, you're in a room with three witches and a demon, do you really think that gun's gonna help?
Phoebe: I don't understand. You tell a guy that Death is after him and he goes to a cemetery. How smart is that?
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Piper: Leo and I are moving.. thinking of moving.. out of the manor. Milk?
Prue: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Wait a minute. Life altering plans cannot be squeezed in between pass the newspaper and who ate the special K.
Piper: I've been married for weeks, and we're still living in a bedroom with the wallpaper I picked out when I was 9!
Cop: Mrs. Halliwell?
Grams: Can I hear what she did first, before I answer that?
Grams: Is it too much for an old lady to ask her granddaughters to retract their claws, stand still, and look at me long enough to take one lousy picture?
Phoebe (singing): I've been working on a vanquish all the live long...
Piper: You know ,this trunk would look great at the foot of our bed.
Prue And my foot would look great on your butt. You are so not taking that.
Prue: Wow, you've been thinking. That's a pretty big step for a warlock.
Piper: So what is our level of confidence in this plan?
Phoebe: Well on a scale of 1-10, 10 being we whoop ass, 1 being he laughs at us while we're on fire... and naked.
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Prue: Think about how many times he's risked his life to save you, I don't think that's just sex.
Phoebe: But what if it's really really great sex?
Prue: You can't remove sin magically or otherwise, it's part of all of us.
Piper: Even you?
Piper: Leo needs suits.
Prue: Leo doesn't wear suits
Piper: Yet!
Phoebe: One minute I was telling him why my paper was late, and the next thing I knew I was unzipping his pants with my teeth.
Prue: Oh, Phoebe. You do know that charming the pants off someone is just a figure of speech, don't you?
Piper: I just let my fingers do the walking, and the clicking, and the flipping.
Prue: Flipping? As in the pages of the book of shadows? You used magic?
Piper: Well yeah, I couldn't wait 6-8 weeks for delivery.
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Piper: Welcome to the power of four.
Phoebe: I demand a recount. Wait, that never works.
Phoebe: Where were you? What happened to you?
Cole: You just vanquished my brother.
Piper: Ok, we're just about to find out who the real killer is, and the pager goes off. So this better be a really good emergency.
Phoebe: Well, I'm the real killer. I just vanquished Cole's brother.
Prue: Whoa, this is so much better than the movie.
Phoebe: The prophet I tried to save was talking about Luxerom.
Piper: The internet provider? What, the demons want their own website now?
Piper: Wait, we're gonna fight the brotherhood with Ben & Jerry's?
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Prue: You don't make demon of the century without having a few tricks up your sleeve.
Piper: As romantic as you make that sound, I would rather fly air-France then air-Leo. Just like every other txt newlywed.
Leo:Piper, this is completely illegal.
Piper: Yeah, well so is marrying a dead guy, okay? Lets not get technical, now.
Prue:What's up?
Leo: Oh, probably three to five years in jail if we're lucky.
Leo: Whitelighter, is that my occupation or should I just put guardian angel?
Prue: Okay, was it a demon?
Piper:No, it was watermelon!
Phoebe: Honey, why did you vanquish watermelon?
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Prue: Mr. Interesting would do or Mr. Personality or even Mr. Take My Breath Away, I don't care.
Phoebe: Be careful with the last one. They tend to surprise you in all the wrong ways.
Piper: I'm fine. The Christmas decorations are not.
Phoebe: You can't stay down their forever.
Piper: Yes I can.
Phoebe: No, you can't. You have a club to run and a husband who can't stand to live without you.
Prue: That's right. And two sisters that need you to cook for them and to fight evil with them.
Phoebe: Okay, do you want her to come up or do you want her to stay down their?
Prue: You're not still writing in their about Cole, are you?
Phoebe: No.
Prue: Good.
Phoebe: I'm actually writing about his demonic half, now.
Phoebe: Actually, Inspector, we're witches, okay? We actually think that a demon might have done this. Probably my ex-boyfriend and if he did do this then we have to find him and vanquish him. Satisfied?
Prue: What's the worst that could happen?
Piper: With our history? Don't go their.
Piper: Prue is walking around on all fours and barking! If that's not a back fire then what is?
Phoebe: Rock, paper, scissors?
Piper: No way, you already lost.
Phoebe: Two outta three!
Piper: I think you've got fleas.
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Piper: I think we made it. I'm sure we made it. Do you think we made it?
Piper: He screamed, he went poof, just like they all do. Third demon in a row by the way that I've vanquished with my new power but, who's counting?
Piper: Isn't that illegal? Can't you do something about that?
Darryl: Killing somebody live on TV is pretty illegal too, you know.
Prue: Okay, it wasn't somebody, Darryl, it was a demon.
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