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Piper: Come see where we're putting the nursery.
Phoebe: You're putting it in your closet. I've seen your closet, there's a lot of shoes, honey.
Phoebe: Well, you know, nothing perks up a girl's career like sending her husband straight to hell.
Paige: So much for the theory that Borneo demons are impervious to magical powers. I can't wait to tell the local witch doctors.
Leo: And you, you're getting so caught up with this magical kick, I mean, look at your hair. It's so red from the potion you blew up last night.
Paige: Do you have any idea how much this would cost in the salon?
Paige: Look at you blowing up around town. Billboards, radio, TV... What's next? Phoebe, the world tour?
Paige: What's life like under the sea? Does your skin get wrinkly? Does algae pose as a personal hygiene problem.
Phoebe: All that for a guy? Boy, did you get taken for a ride.
Mylie: You mean, that I'm a genetic freak with a fish tail coated in glandular slime?
Craig: Let me guess. She sent me a singing telegram. No-no, strip-a-gram, that's more Mylie's style.
Craig: Craig: What is this? The delusional girls club? Come on.
Paige: You stabbed him?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Paige: Good.
Piper: Well, maybe if you put your head underwater.
Phoebe: And get my hair wet?
Paige: That's actually the most fun I've seen Phoebe have since Cole died.
Leo: Which time?
Paige: Good point.
Craig: How... What... Who are you people?
Paige: Witch.
Leo: Angel.
Phoebe: Mermaid.
Paige: It's official. Phoebe's on the run.
Leo: On the swim technically.
Paige: Book Of Shadows, library of congress, internet. Anywhere we can to get rid of Phoebe's tail.
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Grams: Honey, I'm good but I'm not that good.
Leo: We built a nursery in our bedroom closet.
Grams: Closet? Well, no wonder this baby called me.
Paige: No offence, but, uh, aren't you supposed to be dead?
Grams: Oh, I'm over that.
Paige: Athame, axe, what's the difference?
Grams: I mean, I certainly don't want a body if it's gonna get chopped up.
Head Dwarf: Someone here eat a poison apple?
Leo: Actually, they prefer to be called little people now.
Phoebe: Snow White and the Little People.
Grams/Wolf: Well yes, but that one was made up to scare little kids. I mean after all, a little girl gets eaten in the end, what a downer.
Dwarf #2: You think she knows that's a wolf?
Head Dwarf: Not our business.
Cole: Leo, he's evil.
Leo: Really? And what are you?
Head Dwarf: You know, you really ought to get yourself a prince, in case this ever happens again.
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Phoebe: Death did us part, Cole. Just because you figured out a way to come back, doesn't mean that I didn't keep my end of the bargain.
Piper: Geez, you look like my husband with boobs.
Paige: Oh my god, I can't believe he's doing "look at me I'm a good guy" routine on prime time.
Piper: Well, speaking of Whitelighters, I dreamt an animated musical last night. Is that txt?
Leo: I am sure that it's just all this arguing has got the baby upset.
Piper: Leo, the baby is an inch long. All this arguing is upsetting the mummy.
Piper: See? This is why we do not summon Darklighters to the house!
Piper: Okay, vanquish demon first, kill husband later.
Leo: Are you alright? What happened?
Piper: Before or after you were making out with the demon?
Leo: Give daddy his powers back now!
Paige: Abracadabra!
(The broken glass on the door magically gets repaired.)
Piper: Ugh, I hate that. It's just so very after school special.
Cole: Wait, w-wait, you're pregnant?
Piper: Well, I was but now I think Leo is.
Phoebe: Because magic has a sick sense of humour. Just enjoy it.
Leo: Are your boobs always this sore?
Piper: Come on, come on, she's giving me a migraine.
Piper: (in French) Calm down, I'll protect you. (in English) Whoa, was that French?
Phoebe: We harken ye? What, are we trying to summon a leprechaun here?
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Piper: Yeah, well, haven't you heard? Women can have careers and babies now, it's been in all the papers.
Piper: Well, uh, Paige, how do you think I got pregnant?
Paige: Err, I don't wanna know that either.
Phoebe: Who was that mask man?
Leo: Uh, Paige, where did you orb in from?
(Paige covers herself with her gown.)
Paige: I was dealing with some personal problems.
Leo: Well, I'm your Whitelighter, so if you ever wanna talk...
Piper/Paige: No!
Phoebe: Ok gimme a sec while my organs catch up.
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Piper: Like "look it's Jasper's first photo and it's gonna go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says Jasper's first photo"!
Paige: I'm just a big, fat unemployed loser.
Piper: No, Paige, you're a big,fat, unemployed loser who saves the world.
Piper: See, I need an apedoral shot just to watch this!
Paige: Uh what are you watching? What is it some kind of horror movie.
Piper: Wow Prenatle Yoga This Morning And Now You Wanna Crash A Strange Person's Funeral,You Really Do Need Friends.
Paige:You're Mean.
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Paige: Uh uh. Prenatle police lady. Put the mug down, step away from the coffe.
Piper: It's herbal tea...
Paige: What does this Barbas do? What's his thing?
Phoebe: He brings really bad things to life.
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Piper: What is this a brothel?
Pheobe: How long have you guys been standing there?
Paige: Long enough to know you've got some serious 80's dance moves.
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Piper: You knew about this supernatural Jenny Jones reunion, didn't you?!
Piper: We gotta find Sam. He's our only chance.
Paige: Then I'm screwed.
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Piper: Look, do you have anything that will go with combat boots? Ya know, something for the mom to be who kicks some ass on occasion.
Piper: Are you telling me she's going to evict somebody from their own body? That's rude!
Cole: Damn, still here.
Piper: What's the matter Cole, forget your indestructable?
Cole: Oh, can't you at least let me not die in peace?
Piper: So what? Dude, I'm unbreakable.
Paige: Dude, I'm not.
Piper: How can you be so evil?
Cole: It's a gift.
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Cole: Phoebe, is that you?
Phoebe: Yes, It's me. What are you, evil and blind now?
Paige: We need a plan.
Piper: Okay, We go home, we vomit...
Paige: And?
Piper: I don't know, that's all I got so far.
Paige: Okay.
Paige: Leo, we saw Phoebe and Cole tongues locked, hands groping all over each other.
Leo: Ok, didn't need the visual.
Piper: Does Cole have you under some kind of spell?
Kaia/Phoebe: Maybe.
Piper: Maybe! Maybe is good. Because magic we can fight. Lust, desperation, insanity, we cannot fight. But magic we can fight!
Phoebe: You're Blond! I should have known!
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Leo: Damn it, Paige! I would appreciate it if you didn't practice on me. I may be dead, but it still hurts!
Piper: Hospital, People. How many times do I need to tell you I'm going to the hospital?
Paige: Okay, When I fix this, You are going to ought me big time!
Paige: Happy Birthday, Cole.
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Leo: Witch doctors are kind of a wild card. That's why the elders don't want us working with them.
Piper: Well, sometimes we don't want to work with the elders. So we're even!
Witch Doctor: How may I be of service?
Paige: Are you a witch doctor?
Witch Doctor: Let me guess. You were expecting someone with a bone through the nose and shrunken head necklace, perhaps?
Phoebe: Yeah, actually. Yeah. Yeah.
Paige: Listen, Piper, you can't just vanquish a house. Especially our house! People will notice.
Leo: Piper, what're you doing?
Piper: I'm replacing this roof- it's filthy!
Phoebe: You know what? You are a turkey. And turkeys don't write columns. (she turns Spencer Ricks in to a turkey) But they do make delicious diners.
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Paige: Besides, Everybody is odd in San Francisco. That's why we fit in so well!
Leo: It doesn't take a shrink to figure out Pipers dreams. You wanna screw somebody else.
Piper: Well at least he makes me feel sexy and not like some walking incubator. Although I guess that's what you've been dreaming about.
Paige: Actually, i think ive seen more than my share of a certain finger today.
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Phoebe: Since when do sorcerers have cell phones?
Cronyn: You think that's bad? I've got a taxi out front.
Piper: Sorry about your demon wife!
Stanley: My name will haunt you to my grave!
Phoebe: Who was that?
Paige: I don't remember his name.
Phoebe: Step aside, BITCH!
Paige: Yeah, that's our job!
Paige: Chain mail top from my club days, steel toed boots from my mosh pit days, handcuffs from. . . last Friday.
Phoebe: We don't need no powers to kick some demon ASS!
Cronyn: There are Demons and Warlocks, down there with no way of getting up, and up there with no way of getting down.
Phoebe: Awe, poor little evil creatures.
Paige: Stand back! I think he's gonna break out in song.
Piper: Phoebe, if you love me, you will send this crazy bastard straight to hell.
Piper: I may be stuck in bed. But I'm not stuck on *stupid*.
Paige: Is that what I think it is?
Pheobe: If you are referring to Mr. Winky between the legs, yes.
Phoebe: Ohhh!he's so cute i could just eat him up!
Piper: Pheebs, please, somebody already tried to do that!
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Phoebe: Ooooh! I could eat'im up, I swear I could - with a little Ranch dressing.
Piper: Okay, but let's not. Ok?
Phoebe: I can't make that promise!
Piper: You want me to leave my new born baby? I mean, he's just so hard to leave. (Phoebe hugs the Baby) Piper: Just so hard to make Phoebe leave.
Phoebe: Oh, I could just eat your little face...
Piper: Yeah, after the parasites really did want to eat him...not so funny anymore.
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Piper: I thought the Elders didn't want you to bring the baby up there.
Leo: Well, screw 'em!
Paige: It's hard to concentrate with you and Piper snipping at each other every two...
Leo: We weren't snipping!!
Shamus: Hold on to your knickers darlin'.
Neil Giraldo: Hey, how ya been Shamus? It's been a long time.
Shamus: Don't even try it Niel, I already gave you some luck. I hit you with my best shot.
Piper: We'll just have to turn our luck around the old fashioned way. A little potion, a little determination, a little fate...
(A chandelier falls in front of them)
Phoebe: You were saying?
Phoebe: My bruises have bruises.
Piper: Hello, have you forgotten about the big-boob fiasco??
Paige: No, my back STILL hurts.
Piper: Hi, ok, hi. Shoo---go away, see, I don't like snakes AT ALL, shoo, GO AWAY!!
Shamus: Have you ever dated a little person before?
Phoebe: My dates a demon!
Piper: What? Who? That Guy? But He's so cute.
Piper: My sister, the demon magnet!
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Leo: Piper, what are you doing? You can't freeze the shrink, we're on the clock!!
Shrink: Now when you say she shattered you....
Piper: Metaphorically.
Phoebe: I was under a spell. Evil.
Paige: Evil? You're blonde!
Phoebe: Wait a minute, you just said something.
Paige: I did? Was it smart?
Piper: Dont ask, next memory!
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Phoebe: I slept with my boss.
Piper: Jason?!?
Phoebe: No, Elise...YES Jason!
Piper: You color-coded the Book of Shadows?
Paige: Uh huh.
Phoebe: Well thanks to me my paper's going to do an exclusive on her because I slept with my boss!
Piper: Oh good, so this is all your fault?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Piper: Good.
Piper: He is so innocent. If only he knew what mommy and Auntie Paige did today.
Leo: They turned a VERY bad man into a VERY big tree.
(ליאו מנסה לעשות תנועת ידיים ל"Rock on")
Leo: Rock on.
Piper: Don't do that.
Leo: Rock on.
Piper: Give it up man.
Paige: Vanquishing demons is no a sport, Piper.
Piper: It is if you're good at it.
Piper: hi. no offense, but we were looking for some wood nymphs.
Piper: you know, we can just keep doing this but he is never going to talk and then he's going to try and fry us and we are going to dive out of the way, get all dirty, and we're going to end up vanquishing him anyway.
Phoebe: so should we just cut right to the chase?
Piper: i don't see why not.
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Paige: It's kinda sad when a mime makes fun of your phone usage.
Paige: Can I just say...
Phoebe: What?
Paige: Anything. Damn, it's good to hear me speak.
Leo: I see.
Piper: Well I don't!
Phoebe: My nephew's a genius. He gets it from me.
Piper:You guys, I don't know what happened. I wrapped my car around a pole and I can't see anything!
Phoebe: Oh my god, Piper, you're BLIND!!!!
Piper: Phoebe, I just said that!! Now, I think the monkey had something to do with this.
Phoebe: I Think the monkey did something to u, Piper!!
Piper: Phoebe, I just said....you... you are acting like u can't even hear me.
Phoebe: OH, It's no use!!I can't even hear you!! The monkey demon stole my hearing!!!
Piper: Everything okay?
Paige: Better than okay. I am gonna have a love life.
Phoebe: You're making a love potion?
Paige: No, I'm making a stun potion.
Piper: So, that lovers will be stunned by you?
Paige: No, so Kazis will be stunned by me.
Phoebe: You're in love with a Kazi demon?
Paige: Try to stay with me, people. I am making a stun potion so that I can maybe have a date that doesn't end with, "Nate, you gotta leave. I have to clean some demon guts off the ceiling."
Phoebe: Nate, much cuter than a Kazi demon.
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Grams: You'd be better off with a dog. They're more loyal and they die sooner.
Grams: I told you, she should have gotten a dog.
Paige: We done here?
Piper: Yeah, sleaze away.
Paige: Ghosts can feel pain. Maybe I could just orb his testicals somewhere.
Piper: Paige! There will be no talking of testicals in front of the child!!
Leo: Or in front of his father.
Piper: Okay, well, now she's dead!
Paige: You sound so happy about that.
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Paige: Ok, you're way too perky and you're frightening me.
Piper: Oh my God, tell me that's just a REALLY good likeness of Paige.
Leo: You call that magic?
Paige: Did you get anything?"
Phoebe: Yeah, frost bite.
Phoebe: Did I mention this sucks?
Paige: Yes.
Leo: I love you--even though I have to go.
Piper: I swear to God that if he doesn't come back with Leo I am going to blow his ass back to the future. Orbs and all!
Phoebe: You're not breathing.
Piper: Nope.
Phoebe: Breathe.
Paige: Thank God.
Piper: You're welcome.
Phoebe: Elise, you blazin hussie!
Dwarf: HE'S the leprechan. I'm one of the seven dwarves. Try and get it right.
Phoebe: You're going to throw that glass at me, aren't you?
Phoebe: You and Leo are back in the sack?
Piper: So to speak..
Phoebe: God I miss sex!
Phoeeb: Have you taken a vow of celebacy?
Phoebe: Or how about "I'm going to go check with the elders". Do you really think he checks with the elders?
Paige: No. He probably orbs to a sports bar and buys his buddies a round of drinks. "Yeah, my wife thinks I'm up there. Here's to the elders".
Phoebe: I've got one more question. What are you wearing under that robe?
Elder: More robes.
Phoebe: That is sooo HOT!
Phoebe: You're here, I'm here. You know what that means...
Demetrius: We're both here.
Piper: It's not nice to piss off mother nature.
Paige: Power! Power's good. I like power. Why do I like power?
Chris: What the hell is this? Goddesses gone wild?
Piper: I say we castrate him.
Paige: On your knees. Kiss the hand of the Paige!
Paige: Are you eyeing me soldier?
Phoebe: Chris, you never told us. Do you have a girlfriend in the future?
Piper: Don't you jingle me!
Piper: Naturally. Well, then that must make me the goddess of sanity because I find this ridiculous.
Phoebe: Paige, make love. There's no door love can't open, no wall love can't climb, no hurdle love can't... Hurdle.
Piper: You expect us to beat the Titans dressed like this? Maybe at a costume party.
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