it's not everyday u hear ur heart go THUMP, THUMP, THUMP.. those heavy beats that somehow go slow & dragging..

then u realize it calls the mind to ease up on its usual load about school, family pressures, bad news about the economy, such stuff that make u lose about a 32th worth of brain cells everyday.. the heart whispers to the mind, 'can u hear me out down here?'..

the beats go even more heavy, u need not put ur ear to ur chest to hear its steadiness..

then it hits u.. ur experiencing one of those exhilarating things called a heartache.. the sad love song playing on the radio add insult to the injury.. the phone that has been silent for uncountable hours now does not help either.. u grab the nearest, softest pillow..... then u realize it's just another reminder of your former special someone..

the heart continues its THUMP,THUMP, THUMP.. u close ur eyes & think of strawberries & ice cream, but ur mind plays tricks on u.. it flashes a slideshow of u.. of ur someone.. of the 2 of u together.. of the 2 of u apart.. of ur someone with another.. of u alone..

u shake it all off.. but every gnawing piece of hurt, lonelines & agony is there, a leech sucking ur blood along with the sanity u tried hard to save during the past weeks..

the heartache chose the perfect time to eat u all up.. ur mind is idle, ur entire system just wants to go numb with the thought that u have no reason to anticipate anything by the end of the month.. there's no way of denying the crunchy bite of the pain.. yet no tears fall.. u just look at the blank wall & begin to wonder if u were feeling this exact thing a year ago, & the year before that, & before that.. & before that......

u need not tell urself ur living in reality, for u've realized long ago that THIS IS REALITY.. the past has long gone, & the future is still out there.. what u have is urself & the present..

u run out of questions to ask urself.. yet it seems that neither one of them had answers.. all u know is that ur heart is going THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, and u're sighing with more depth..

u try to smile... but the empty spot on ur bed takes all that effort away....

u wish for just one last long, sweet kiss.. just one last night u can hug each other all night thru.. just one last time u can get lost in the warmth of ur someone's arms.. just one last time.......

ur mind flashes more clear, resolution-perfect pictures of ur someone with another.. it makes so cringe somehow, but then u know that's all there is.. there's no more chance for last wishes....

the heart then goes into a synchopated rhythm.. the heaviness slowly lifts up.. it must lift up.. it must...

u close ur eyes.. just in time a tear falls on ur cheek.. u lull urself to sleep...