Trailer to "Attack of the Were-Jesus"
NOTE: The Were-Jesus is warded off by radishes.
(man's voice)It's said, that many years ago, a distant relative of the main charcter was bitten by Jesus just before he died, and for many years this lie dormant, until now.
(dramatic music)Attack (dramatic pause) of the Were-Jesus
(switch to scene with young man and woman walking next to river at night with full moon)
Man: Oh my god, it's the Were-Jesus!
Woman: Quick, get into that boat!
(man and woman board small boat on river and begin paddling away)
(Were-Jesus walks on water, getting closer to the boat)
Woman: Did you bring the radishes?
Man: No, I forgot!
(man, woman and Were-Jesus go off screen, hear growling and man and woman screaming)
(merge from scene on river to Were-Jesus' face sweating)
(pause in music, show Were-Jesus' original identity lying in bed)
Main Character: Oh thank god, it was only a dream.
(looks down and sees Holy Water on his hands)
Main Character: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!(resume music)
(show woman walking down sidewalk at night)
(suddenly Were-Jesus jumps out and pours a bucket of holy water all over her head)
Woman: Eww, I'm all wet now.
(man's voice)Attack(dramatic pause) of the Were-Jesus
(black screen)Coming soon!
(slightly higher man's voice)Sweet, Were-Jesus turned water into wine!(drinking, spitting) Ewww, motor oil!?!
(one last burst of dramatic music)
(man's voice)I can't believe Were-Jesus turned water into motor oil!