Marc's Despedida. I went to Marc de Leon's Despedida last night... well technically I did, I just dropped by to say Hi and I ditched... After looking around, I felt sort of out of place... I was planning to go back, since I made Marco wait outside the house, but then I decided to not go back... when I got to my Lola's house [I was spending the night there] Alex texted me that he was on his way to the party, since I had a hard time getting in the house I decided not to go back anymore. Sorry Marc!

Meeting. We had a good meeting for Copo earlier today, it was funny. We were all vain and self-centered people but no one can do shit about it! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I still sound like a lunatic!

Books. I've been meaning to go book shopping, I've been in the mood to read lately, but then I'm still my picky old self.
Princess Diaries 1,2 and 3
The Shining by Stephen King
Sex in the City [my phone rang while we were checking it out, which was so appropriate since my ringtone was the tv series theme]
and whatever else I can get my hands on.
Yam: you are such a good influence sometimes! ;Þ

Work. Another boring day at Theobroma... another useless day in town.

I was just thinking about how it must feel to break up with someone; I was talking to Char the other day, and I couldn't believe that she and her boyfriend broke up. Sure a lot of couples have been breaking up during the end of the year [I'm pertaining to seniors/graduates], but for some reason a lot of them where those I didn't expect to break up... weird! Seriously I can't help but feel bad for a lot of them... I saw how much "in love" they supposedly were, and they become a part of you...
This gets me to thinking, what more if I [in some distant future] get a boyfriend, fall madly in love... and he breaks up with me? hmm... Karma? haha nah.... I'm a good little girl! I'm no heartbreaker... asa pa e!

Lady's Party. Well I just got home like 30 mins ago... it sorta felt like a soriee... good thing I come from a coed school and at least adaws and sila jeff, puffer and marc were around ;). Sometimes I wish I don't have this 12 hour cerfew thing... but other times I thank God for it ;) but right now im wishing the first one... Oh well... *martin taray! hehe jk* I was so sabog [not in the high sense] I got all frank... it turned really blunt! So if anyone reads this... I apologize!... its sorta my retraction. Although in real life retractions are can never be accepted.

Its been a while...

Lady's Party. Well its tonight; its a strange feeling, like I can't wait for it, but I don't want to go... labo! Amusingly Vida is excited... and I think I know why, Pao knows why too! hahaha right vida? jk!

Work. As of next week I only have work on fridays! I mean I'm sort of happy about it, but mostly sad... I don't care about the money, its the only time i get to hang out with anyone else, aside from the people here at home... it really isn't my fault that I live in the middle of no where, and I'm a girl; I know it sounds all sexist, but believe me I hate the life imposed on me for lacking one "small" meaningless pathetic appendage. [I apologize if anyone gets offended]... oh well... sexist pigs! ;Þ

senti trip...

Kailangan ko'y Ikaw

Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw
Dito Sa Piling Ko
Kailangan kong madama ang pag-ibig mo
Sa bawat oras na, di ka nakikita
Para bang kay' bigat ng nadarama
O giliw nasan ka?
Bakit lumisan ka?
Paano na ang puso kong nag-iisa

O giliw nasan ka?
Bakit lumisan ka?
Paano na ang puso kong nag-iisa
Kailangan ko'y Ikaw
Sa bawat sandali
Kailangan ko ang yakap mo
At iyong halik
Kailangan ko'y ikaw
Dito sa buhay ko
Paano na ang puso kong nag-iisa

its a cute song ;)

Lady's gift. It ends up that me and Boyong will split Lady's gift, I didn't expect a picture frame and getting a picture recopied thru image magic could cost so much... I was planning to get her a rose, w/c I found out is 150 php a stem!?!?! wtf! Anyway, I was "trying" to help out Martin for Lady's gift... hehe... ang kulit niya! sobra! I blew off 50 php worth of text messages on that, my poor cell phone bill! But I didn't mind helping him out, its not his fault, I mean I could have just not replied right... but its Lady's 18^th birthday, I want it to be special for her... as opposed to my birthday; which might I add didn't feel so 18^thbirthdayie for me, except of course for all the greetings... which I appreciated so much.

I wish I have one thing I can truly call mine, I decide for it, I work for it... its mine... No one meddling, no one in the middle, no one, no one! It's my one wish in the world... I think I do have that one thing right now... my journal, no one else can say otherwise, no one else can criticize or destroy its being to me. Its all mine... but I'm really pathetic if this is all I have for myself...
Our lives are never our own, it belongs to everyone and everything else but yourself. Without everyone and everything else in this world your life wont be as it is, therefore it never did belong to you...
I'm not making sense... I'm not in the mood...
I just wish people would leave me alone sometimes... I wish I were in control of my own life, rather than someone or a group of people. I wish... but wishes are all they are, for now... and for quite a while more
Busy Day. Joel is so mean... [yes i hope he reads this] ;(. Okay so the busy day was yesterday

Write ups. I'm helping the Yearbook staff out with some of their work; they in my opinion are understaffed. I just finished doing, Glenbert, Anton [p], Tagui, Chino, Sabaw, Vic and Byron's write ups...

Work. I had to go to work today, I felt sorry for Matt no one would take his place for him, and he had no choice cause he was stuck in taft. Inspite of all the other stuff I'm doing today, I went to work. Inspite of day two... never mess with day 2.

---

College. "o be or not to be, that is the question..." Why is it that some people are making it seem that going to Ateneo would be a wrong choice... and some think its a very good deal... I'm going out of my mind! What a way to crush all your hard work...

---

Marco's Party. When did everyone become so diverse? When did they become so distant? It's a puzzle... it was cool... but it was an enigma... maybe its just me, maybe its not... but everyone changed...

---

I'm not mad at Joel anymore... in fact I never was, just annoyed... I guess cause a lot of stuff has been eating up my mind, I really am busy... although when I think of it, I don't literally seem to... I can't understand why I seem to be so preoccupied.

Another day has gone...

Counterpoint Meeting. It was decided that we try to recruit the best people for the job, irregardless of number. We will also be training them for each specified field in the paper. Its going to be a busy summer...

Bday Gifts. I went shopping for Marco and Boyong's birthday gifts. I'm giving Boyong a purple necktie, so sue me if I'm a cheapskate [I bought it in the 99 pesos store], well he isn't having a party, and he didn't give me anything... so okay na siguro yun, I don't have money kasi e; otherwise I would have gotten a pillow and tied the necktie around it. I'm sharing with Tasha and Missy with Marco's gift, we're getting him soy milk and skittles tom. Today we got him a stuffed doggie [it was so adorable] and a baby bottle hehehe.... I was feeling creative...

Its been a week and a day, basically cause i left for Sagada last tuesday morning around 4 in the morning, and I got back on Saturday... so what have i been doing the past 3 days? .... A lot of shit, and the only time I manage to find myself wandering towards the computer, I was beaten to it by one of my sisters addicted to SIMS. Okay sure I chatted saturday night, but then blogger was acting up [or was that my connection?].

Sagada. The air was fresh and clean, the weather was fair, the climate was cool [cold in fact], he food was good [i guess fresh air can make anything you take seem a lot better than it really is], and the view was breath takingly gorgeous! What more can a girl ask for... oh yes, she can ask for clean bathrooms.
I had so much fun, hiking, spelunking ...?!?!?!.. okay caving, eating, just absorbing the beauty of nature... I sound like a cheezy line out of a brochure.
I was oddly facinated about the culture... weed culture of sagada [oh yeah and the shrooms too]. Not exactly weed at its sense, but only that of which is in sagada. Like i said Odd, don't worry im still a good clean little innocent girl.
We went up this hill, [okay maybe it was a mountain, but since I was on a mountain, it seemed like a hill] to watch the sun go down... .... beautiful.
I missed a couple of things though, globe had no signal so I missed texting, I missed this computer [duh!], my bed and my bathroom.

Summer Job.Well I'm working for theobroma again; ironically if you asked me 4 days ago if i was working this summer, I would have said no. It all happened in a blur... next thing I knew I was called for an assembly, and today was my first day on the job.
It was BAD, no one would buy from 4-8 except for marco, who bought one piece of chocomallow. Some guy bought for his girl on the last few mins, which we put under our sales today, and around 4 more people bought right before we closed, which was put on the late sales... damnit!
Me and Mikael counted all the chocolates... okay si Mikael counted them, and I wrote it down on the paper. For apparently we are still living in a very sexist world, so why not use it to my advantage as much as it robs me of my human rights.

" ".I realized how much discrimination is still left in this world, people wouldn't really think about it, but when it comes to age... We are discriminated and deprived of the right of self expression or the freedom of speech and feeling by no other than adults. I mean sure we owe them a lot, they built this world we live in, they provided us with good safe places to grow and nourish; but I hardly believe that gives anyone the power to be exempted from negative feelings and expressed feelings being felt by someone of smaller stature. Even as adults, just because he or she is our boss, it doesn't mean that we can't question, or show question in our faces or expressions... Sure we obey, but then we should always have that right to express our feeling of the matter, right? We just have to realize that there are also consequences for such words or feelings felt, you may find out something you don't want to, you may get fired... but i always believed that I shouldn't get involved with something I have no clue about, no clue about safety, about what I really am getting into, its one of those impulses we have as humans. I have no ill feelings about how people are, after all what would it resolve? I guess I was just thinking out loud...

Yam was discussing her 18^th birthday plans... It would be so cool if goes as planned [beach]. The lights would be torches, then everyone would be dressed in hawaiian outfits... cool! I was thinking of this thing I saw in some movie... i think "racing the sun" was the title; anyway, at the end of the movie, they had this little wooden bowl with the stuff they are giving up, [or anything they'd like to put in] then they put it in this little raft, set it on fire then pushed it into the ocean... I got to thinking it would be cool if Yam did that... but maybe instead of stuff they are giving up, it could be like symbols... or stuff to comemorate...

I come up with the wierdest stuff...

Before anyone says anything, that poem wasn't refering to anyone, [or anything, for that matter]. I just thought it up, thinking I'm leaving for sagada in a few hours, aaaaaaaaaaaargh a really long road trip!

It just occured to me I have a tendency to use a lot of "..." [I forgot what you call it] in my sentences; I like it, but it makes the sentence structure wrong; I'm trying to get rid of it. You can't imagine how many times I have to go back and erase one of my ...'s it comes naturally to me...[see]

Last night was very... erm fun filled? nahhh... the Candy - John incident. hehe I think I'll just leave it as that...

This song is so adorable...

I saw Charley a around an hour ago in church; well it got me to thinking, what a waste of a guy... I can't deny he's very good looking, and tall; he is actually smart, if he studied at all; and he is a really nice guy, if he wanted to be; but that's beside the point, I just think that its sayang, he deserves a lot better than what life throws at him... the guy is my cousin [even if he doesn't act like it] and I care.

Vida called me up to ask me to accompany her to Giorgio's party tom. Well, Giorgio is being inconsiderate, he should have said something yesterday at the least... but it looks good, since Vida isn't allowed out with out a Yaya and transpo, it looks as if they're allowing me... hell the only reason I'm doing this is cause Vida needs someone to go with her ;) *vida: see how much i love you?*

Here I am wasting me free messages [actually come to think of it I'm already spending a lot] in the name of love. Sadly it doesn't concern me one bit; I'm fishing for my friend to her boy. hahaha I turned into an over night spy. Whats so hard about it is everytime i send a message I cringe at the thought of my expenses; the things I do for my friends!

Sometimes I really think people tend to over act a little too much...

Like now sabaw is ranting over his grad pic which I posted on my site, as much as everyone elses picture... I worked so hard and he just wants me to remove it? Come on! He looks cute! Ü

And Lady with the whole Martin thing, the only reason I'm wasting my valuable pesos on him [hell I don't even spend my messages on my family much more other people] is because I'm fishing to see if he's mad at her or something... haha this is how much I want them to end up! *Lady: see how much i love yah?*

Another day, another thought? haha Highly Unlikely... I am one of the most small minded people I know, if it doesn't revolve in the universe I have created for myself, chances are I don't give a damn. haha. This is pointless...

Annoyingly everyone is out of town, I don't blame them, heat in manila right now is intolerable, (did I have the right term?). Just sitting in front of the computer is making me feel all oily, sweaty and icky... I'm in need of a nice cold shower! Good thing I'm going out of town as well next week; We are leaving for Sagada on Monday, its a 5 day trip, majority of that will be spent in the car as well... sigh...

I was on the phone last night from around 10:30pm-1:20am with Aljo [my late night phone buddy]. We figured we we're around the few of our friends who would still be wide awake and hyper at that time of the evening. We were talking about college, friends and the beach; it reminded me of how much I want to go to the beach, and I haven't been able to do so lately. The odd thing about it is that I don't usually swim in the beach, in fact I hate swimming in the beach... I love to swim, but only in the pool.
I find something so absolutely romantic, serene, relaxing and beautiful about beaches... so I hate getting the sand in my toes, or a wet butt [with sand], all the sun block and stuff you have to bring to the beach, and the traveling; but when I am finally looking out to the sea, watching the sunset and listening to the waves lap against the sandy shore... *sigh* as much as it makes me feel so small and insignificant, i feel so relaxed and so part of the world.
I sound so girly... haha CRAP!

I'm experiencing the usual problem of students while on summer vacation... Boredom. [which is the reason why I ended up here in the first place] It makes me wonder, is there more to life than this? Obviously yes, I just haven't found my thing yet...