OCTOBER.

I missed my Computer... [No, I will not start stroking it.]

I arrived last night... naturally I went straight to the computer, but I was too lazy to blog.

I hung out with Marc, Bea (Marc's friend), Tagui and Tasha today... we watched "Thirteen Ghosts" at Marc's other house. Like thirty mins before I had to go, we met up with Jeff and Lady. We dropped in at Francis' Party and Oli's (to greet him). Marc let me drive his car! HAHAHA! *jumps up and down*

Damn, I miss high school.

But... oh well

Dance with me, let it lift you off the ground, stary eyes, and love is all around us, i can take you where you want to go, dance with me, i want to be your partner dance with me...

I kinda miss just bumming around like that... bumming around in Alabang has never been the same... since, well summer. I still used to hang out with Marco then, you know I really miss Marco, the Marco I know. He really changed a lot. Or maybe I did, but it doesn't seem like it... even to sila Tagui and Marc. Personality wise... I'm still the same old me, maybe a few minor changes, but actually, they aren't changes; it's just a side of me they never saw, or never think they'd see.

Promises, too often spoken, are easily broken apart, I'm ready this time, I know that I'm no longer undecided, don't wanna be the fool wondering what might have been...

Oh... I scanned some pictures from when Ate Inggay was here... lookie!

Guess who just came from rotc?

I exaggerate so...

Bye.

Tito Dodo dropped by, he brought 4 postulants (three from myanmar and one from mindanao), and two other brothers (one of which was/is an Atenean).

I just got to thinking, can someone ever stop being an Atenean or a Lasallite [no, do not make an issue about the way I wrote that, whether Ateneo or La Salle was first, it doesn't matter]? I mean, when can one say he/she was a Lasallite? Will there been any point in time after that, which the person will cease being a Lasallite? or an Atenean? or whatever else [no offense, I don't mean anything by this]? It just makes me wonder how you should address someone, who used to come from the school... aside, of course, from alumna/alumnus of Ateneo/La Salle or Graduate of La Salle/Ateneo. La lang. I always thought that once you leave your alma mater, it still and always be a part of you, it will be who you are; therefore you'd always be classified as an Atenean/Lasallite.

This is pointless too.

I wonder how I'm going to distribute the work. *crosses her arms in front of her* Argh... *paces around* I reallly don't mind the work, but... I really don't mind the work.

I just had lunch, a slice of of seafood... something, from Mario's. Not really my type of pizza, but Ayos lang.

I was just thinking, of how unreal I can be. It is, in fact, hypocracy [spelling?] already. I keep telling myself how unethical it is, masking yourself from the world. Something I want so much for myself, genuine apathy. Apathetic as I might seem, I am in fact the opposite. The apathy I've achieved so far is not the appropriate kind of apathy, it's more of on ignorance. I admire people who don't care much of what people think of them, people who don't give in to the pressures of society. Sadly, I can only go so far as admire. As much as I tell myself I don't care what people think, I in fact do... a lot.
I was brought up with the idea that what people think of you matters, and I see the point in it. I see the truth in it. People judge others for the way they look, act and think everyday, and there really isn't anything wrong with that. That's what they see, that is who the person is. Their talents are acknowledged, yes, there is no discrimination what so ever in this process of characterizing people. But we can't stop the fact that people choose what they want by their standards, they want to see life in all its beauty and glory.
Argh! This is so overused.
This is so pointless.
This is going no where.
I'll shut up now.

Baguio is well... cold? hehe. Okay, It's cool...
I don't really know what to say about my trip, being I didn't really want to come here... But now that I am here, It sort of feels nice. As much as I'm not a fan of sleeping, I've haven't been doing anything else the whole day. It's the ultimate vacation for anyone, I just eat and sleep, read a little maybe write a little... although most of what I've written so far is about this trip, ergo, this Blog. I wrote a letter to Vida a few hours ago, on the Baguio Country Club stationary, haha... trip! I can't believe I'm still sleepy!

My feet are freezing! hehe. Cool!

My mind is totally blank right now, I'll continue this later.

Yes, its Morning. And No, I have no intention of sleeping just yet. (Although if my doctor finds this out, she will just kill me to get it over with.) I don't want to be stuck wide awake during the extremely agonizingly long, boring and uncomfortable ride to Baguio later this morning. Haha. It is quite obvious I hate long trips... I hate sitting around (in a very claustrophobicly small space might I add) doing nothing for 10 hours. I hate having to cram myself in with how many other people not to mention how many bags/suitcases/jugs/etc. in one car. I hate feeling dizzy and nauseated up a bumpy and winding road up a mountian. Bitter? Yes, I'm really not up to going, if it hasn't been obvious enough. Sarcastic? Yes, I'm known to do that... point being, I'm not even really pissed off, in fact I'm not pissed off at all. I just have this talent [Although I would hardly classify this as a talent] to bitch and whine about anything. Negativity? Yes, that too would be part of Sarcasm, (if you're an idiot enough not to know that.) oddly enough I'm full of it. Bitchy? Obviously. Yes, undeniablely I am one.

You know I should stop being like this... it's just wrong.

Hm.. if I do stop. Then I won't be me anymore, will I?

So, what I have here is a dilemma.
I can't be such a disagreeable person all the time, what kind of a person will I become as I grow older? shit... I can't believe I'm even getting into this.

I will stop now.

I will miss my internet this next 2 days.
Rest assured, I will force myself to go straight to the PC, once I get back.

I keep seeing signs everywhere!

Bz day.

Went to Lto in pasay, got my license.
Went to BPI at El grande corner aguirre ave at BF, to get my ATM card.
Went to annapolis greehills for the practice of K's debut.
Went home.
Went to my pedia at Taft ave.
Went to rockwell to drop of my mom.
Went home.
Went to the computer.

I got a temporary Job this sembreak helping out Tita Maret at Business Box. Hey at least its better than fattening myself up here.

HAHAHAHAHA! I just found out Mica is a cheerdancer (for her batch)! haha! I'm such a loser sister to only find out now... but! HAHAAHAHA! I swear I am so going to cut just to watch her! I don't care what people think about cutting, I don't care if anyone calls me a hypocrite... its a very good reason.

I just finished reading JM de Leon's Blog, I figured I haven't heard from him in a while, which was proven by his blog... goodness! I really should keep in touch with a lot of people. Too bad I can't seem to find his email address anywhere... hopefully I have it in my account.

I'm actually really missing everyone back in highschool. Those days when I was still a sophomore... okay wait I didn't really have as much fun during my soph year... but I figured JM, Nicolo and Sir Arian would still be around during those days. Wala lang. The glory days of Counterpoint. hehe.

I was reading back and I just remembered that I haven't fixed out my plan to go see a doctor for my knee. [twinnie: yes, you reminded me last night... it just sunk in now.] Hm... I better make a list of stuff I'm supposed to get cleared out or done this sembreak.

Oh yeah, I sorta got started on my christmas shopping... haha. I saw something in yesterday's mini bazaar (n Mama's homecoming thing in Assumption), which I just had to get for Li. [Li: If you are reading this, which I highly doubt you are, see... you're the first person I bought a christmas gift for]. Basically, I have an idea what I'm getting/ I want to get for Pau and Sir Jason... Hm... what do I get for twinnie? Problema rin what to get for sila Tasha, Boyong, Miko, Marc, Don... well.. them.
I think I need a christmas list

I just got the strangest urge to watch "The Neverending Story". hmm...

Ria's Birthday!

I just moved the connection here to the computer in the "study". Lousy, the other pc is being totally disagreeable. But I'm happy it got moved here! ;) Yey! All my mp3s were here... i get to download more! ;)

*sigh*

Headache.

I think I still lack sleep.

Damn, Inconsiderate sisters.

Jeric's Page :)[haha! love you Jeric!]

Twinnie: Bat ang taray niya? hehe

My paper was 30 mins late... but Carla talked to Ma`am, and we're only going to get a deduction. I feel really bad, cause she did most of the work... if not practically all. We used her research, mine sucked; she typed the report, I made the Biblio and Note Cards. *sigh*

Shit. I lack sleep.

Finally, I am at Carla's... *Crosses her fingers* hope we finish tonight! [Asa pa e!]

I'm stuck in Ateneo. Lakas ng ulan. How will I get to Prince David. Wee!

Damnit. Looks like the rain won't give.

wala lang ulit...

Ang labo naman ng schedule ko... I don't know how I am getting to K's place, and how I am getting back to Ateneo after that. She's here na though, she's going to pick up her friends to I suppose go to her place na... Labo ko.

Wala lang...

Jason [Banez, i swear there are too many Jason's in this world] is the sweetest and nicest person I swear! Sweety, thank you thank you thank you! He helped me figure out what should be in my research paper, even if he has exams the next day.

I should have printed out last year's thesis proposal. I might have been able to find somthing there... argh... We'll cause I thought, a research paper proposal would be different from a research paper, but who knows right?
Stooopid stupid stupid me. *grunt*

Li just texted me asking what time we're planning to go to Moro... Haha. I forgot all about that. I sort of dismissed the idea na e. Hm... since I don't have anything better to do anyway... might as well, right?

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. When I went to moro last friday (yes hell night) the pt told me that it could be two things umm... something about my patella, which I couldn't really understand, or a slightly torn ligament. Argh. I hate feeling helpless... Okay that statement doesn't make much of a difference, cause I usually am helpless... not that I want to be, I just am. Or maybe that's cause I'm lazy and I have no initiative... hehe. I think it is so.

I was feeling excessively bitchy last night. I kept picking on Sir Jason [D], hehe. I think the guy is finally annoyed at me. Haha. Well, It wasn't anything below the belt... yet.
I wonder am I capable of saying anything below the belt, I mean on purpose? hehe... cool! I hope so!

"Do me wrong, do me right, tell me lies but hold me tight, save your goodbyes for the morning light, but dont let me be lonely tonight..."

Yes, right right after that last entry I am typing yet another one...why bother changing the time? That's where my kalabuan goes in. You will see the difference. If not in topic, then in mood.

I'm weird.

I'm actually listening to James Taylor. Sorta reminds me of John Mayer... or Elvis Costello... no wait, its the other way around. John Mayer and Elvis Costello remind me of James Taylor. Aside from the obvious reason that they all play the guitar, there is nothing exceptional about their voices, but they have really great music.

Soothing.

I think I'll put in the Starbucks next...

I think if keep this up, I will most definitely fall asleep here.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Hmm... *thinks*

What am I doing typing so early? Nothing.
There's nothing else to do. I'm sort of stuck here in the library making a racket with the laptop... yes, I'm playing some music... Yes, in the library... Yes, I know I'm supposed to be quiet... And Yes, right now I don't really care.
What am I doing here this early in the morning, when fact of the matter is... I have no more classes? I had no other ride to ateneo except for the one to get here at 7:00 in the morning.
Am I bitter about being here this early? Not really... Just kinda bored, which lead to sarcasm.

Carla and I are going to start with our research paper, proper, today. We would start now... but she has a practice for their play in filipino. We would start later, but I have a practice for K's debut; yes, I'm part of her cotillyon [or how ever the hell you spell it]. So we are starting at around 17:00 and I'm going to stay over here till around 22:00; and come back tomorrow at 7:00 again to finish it before 15:00, by which we are supposed to have submitted it already.
Isn't life just dandy?
Honestly, I have no one else to blame but myself. Sure I don't know how to make a research paper, but I should have went out of my way to figure it out. Maybe I should have bugged my parents more into letting me move to Tandang Sora. I think the main reason why my move kept delaying (in that two months I was supposed to move) was because I didn't bother them enough about it. Nahihiya ako e, so sue me. There were a million other things... um... okay maybe 10, other things I could have done [which I can't think of right now, but I'm sure I could have come up with 8 other reasons] to do my paper.
Take now for example, what am I doing? Instead of trying to figure out how to do this damn paper, I'm what? Making a blog? heh. To some extent it seems like one of my journal entries. Just less profanity, and this is sarcastic, where as in my journal... it all just bluntly goes out.
So here I am still bitching about not being able to do/start/plan my research paper, and still not doing it. Heh. What a sad pathetic case is this?

This is pointless.

I am hopeless.

Yes, I haven't started my plan to make an outline for our research paper... if only i knew how. I really have no clue on how to make a research paper, much more an outline. [I never make outlines, unless they make us submit them. Now you know why my papers are all screwy.] sigh. But I will try.

I finished my letter to twinnie, who's next kaya?

Hm... what am I going to do about tom? How do I make time for the research paper, and the practice? And how am I getting home? argh!

Argh! I'm too whiny!

I will stop.

I finished with the last of my tests yesterday, at around 11... I only have 3 tests anyway. Okay I'm relieved, but not happy, go figure...

Sigh... after the research paper [which hopefully i get through] i'm free... Just makes me wonder, what am I going to do during sembreak? Aside from sit around on my ass staring at the computer the whole day... or in front of the tv. Oh goodness I need a life.

Chocolate chip cookies and milk.

I'm (am I?) chatting with Sir Jason and Liana. Now I have an idea of how it feels to be stuck with Me and Sir Abad [hmm... is the grammar right?], the difference is, I basically understand everything they are talking about... the point is, I just can't seem to... umm... get through? nah... It's like they're stuck in some other parallel universe... hmm...
twinnie: *grin* told you so...
hm...

Shit I really should get started on my papers.

Game 3!

Okay before I start, I know who will be reading this so... twinnie, alam kong mababara mo siya pero pagbigyan mo na lang ako for now okay?

An labo, they complain about school stuff, but then they let me go out with my hs friends... not that I'm complaining, I know they understand how it is... I need my hs friends! I miss them a whole lot. But why can't they just get over the fact that I am already there? It just pisses me off that they can't be happy about at least that. It like the first time I made a decision for myself, and I don't know why the right one always has to be the one they are going to choose...
Maybe I am selfish and I am not thinking of how hard it is on them. How much they are spending on gas etc. But, damnit if there's a will there's a way right? I think the main problem is they don't want things to change... Quezon City being as far as it is, would IS a very big change. They want things to be as close as it was to before, sure who doesn't want security right? But thats impossible... I made my decision cause I thought change would be a good thing, not that I wanted it... but its what I needed. I don't want to continue living in the shell I was... the world is such a big place, why should I be stuck here?

wala lang just had to vent.