Quotes

Emily

Jessica

Ethan

Amanda K.

"Technically, tennis is Ping-Pong played while standing on the table. Great concept, not a sport. In fact, all racket games are nothing more than derivatives of Ping-Pong. Even volleyball is, technically, racketless, team Ping-Pong played with an inflated ball and raised net while standing on the table." (A quote from George Carlin for me and my tennis/volleyball playing friends)

~~~"Life runs itself in vicious circles."
~~~"When I want your opinion, I'll shoot myself."
~~~"Rainbows are fun to look at, but don't expect that pot of gold to land in your lap...you gotta
            work to get it."
~~~*smacks hand on forehead* "UGH!!"
~~~"Got my pizza?" :-D
~~~"The heart controls the mind, and the mind punishes the heart."
~~~"I'm thinking the same two things I was the last time you asked."
~~~"Every time I try and get my ducks lined up they all just scramble and go in different
           directions..."

~~~"...That's when you catch them all...chop off their heads...and go with a different species."
~~~"We need...to put her tape dispenser back together...and make it reappear in her room. She's a
           little...um...upset that it's missing. I played innocent and said I had no idea where it
           was...prolly in Kate's messy room with the hole punch. But if you could bring it over
           tonight...I'd just HATE for mom to go on a warpath...and clean Kate's room in an attempt to
           find her precious tape dispenser. *laughing*"
~~~"My mother just gave the cat another buzz cut. Usually practice makes perfect. In her case,
           practice makes great entertainment for weeks."
~~~"I've lost my blue toenail polish. The world is coming to an end!!!!!!"

~~~*holds up broken fork* This is why I'm going to start carrying a camera everywhere I go!"
~~~"The kickoff of the newest entertainment for IMers everywhere. People are gonna schedule
            their weeks around my changing of the quotes. They'll cancel business meetings, hold
            football games, call off elections....it's gonna be big."
~~~"Wendy's should change their sign to get more business. Instead of 'Quality is our recipe' they
           should add "But quantity doesn't hurt.' No....hmm....What they need to do is change Wendy
           to a blonde....make her a lil more real looking. Now THAT would get some sales."
~~~"Yeah, I know all about you skateboarders, uh huh. Grinding that box and that halfpipe."
~~~"Here's what you do: You walk up and stop at 5 feet away and curtsey, and then ask my
            permission to approach."
~~~"I do know they're starting to paint tennis courts blue and purple and other various pukey
            colors, that needs to stop. Marbled aqua or lavender work for me. Maybe pin-striped grey.
            Better yet....how about we make the tennis court a yellowish color and then add two more hits
            to each player per turn, cuz the total of their possesion to equal three, then raise the net a little
            to say about 8'0 to add a challenge, and oh yeah get rid of those rackets, that's nothing but
            hassle and grief to work with, and maybe blow up the ball a little smaller than a basketball, and
           get a partner, that's a great game to play. Forget the yellowish, just put sand down. Just more
           fun than swinging a racket with Muffy all day in the sun."
~~~"Extra cushioning added for your protection."
~~~"Boots, guns, and trucks....we got culture here, lemme tell ya."
~~~"It's okay, some of us are fast and some take time to catch up to the rest of us up here already. We've
           slowed down, just try and hurry."
~~~"I heard a pick up line tonight and I thought you'd appreciate this one:
            Excuse me for interrupting
            And I'm not trying to make a pass,
            But you must be leavin' the country
            If you're packing that much ass."

~~~" 'Word'.....what is that? That's like the stupidest expression ever. Word. It's like walking up
            to someone and going......."CHAIR!" "
~~~"I've explained this to you before. I don't lie. I believe everything I say."
~~~"Yeah, well, children are the cochroaches of the human race."
~~~"Don't make me come over there and hit you again.................................please."
~~~"Look!!! There I go!!! I'm going faster than myself!!!!"
~~~"You're just mad that you're inferior to the white fluffy stuff that grows on the bottom of
            showers."
~~~(when asked about her curly hair) "I made an executive decision last night and sat out in the
            rain and then didn't blow dry my hair. I had fun though, and that's all that counts."

~~~"When I sit like this I look like a have a beer belly. This is awesome. I gotta go get a camera. I
            could sit a 6-pack on this puppy. Isn't that one of the best qualities to look for in a man?
            Keeps ya from going to the fridge as much." [Emily: I go to the fridge for no one but myself.]

~~~"I really don't have much to say anymore since Justin destroyed my previous page. I really
           need to not let him touch anything of mine because everything he seems to "fix," just goes to
           hell in a ball of burning flames."
~~~"....Then he tried to kill his sister...."
~~~"Theoretically yes, BUT..."
~~~"I'm enacting poll warfare against him."
~~~"She's a raging WHORE....but I love her." [Speaking of Chelsea]
~~~"Emily Sandilands, you are nice.
       I don't have lice.
       That's why I got to come here,
       My scalp is clear.
       I am a negro, you are a raoww,
       please don't be mean and hit me with a farmer's plow.
       Hope you had a good time at camp, see you at home.
       Dan"
~~~"Hi. My name is Justin, and I'm a whore. Oooeeeoooeeeoooeeeooo."

~~~"Emily, make sure you're ready to go in for me if I get food poisoning from camp food or if I've
             somehow massively slept in."
~~~"Dispenser tax."
~~~"I would like to point out that yes, indeed, Justin Sandilands IS in fact the supreme and
            foremost of whores. I would like to make an analogy, and go as far as to say that he is the
            Coke of all whores. He is the leading whore on the market, and there was never a more
            unanimous choice than him as THE name-brand whore. Dan is more like the Sprite of
            whores. He's very whorish still, but with less dyes and calories, is a bit less of a whore.
            People still recognize him as a whore, which he is since he bubbles and fizzes like all whores
            do. When I say that Dan is the biggest of all whores, I am not discounting Justin Sandilands'
            status. It is just like calling all sodas "coke." When I said Dan was a huge whore, it was like
            calling him a coke, when in reality he is Sprite. I was referring to him by the name brand of all
            whores. It is already understood that Justin is the biggest, most internationally partaken of
            whore in the world. Everyone loves Coke in all countries, especially Italian women, and nothing
            can take away from him and his sweet, surupy goodness. I realize that coke (Sprite [or Dan])
            and Emily may have difficulty understanding this concept, but with time and patience, they may
            understand.

~~~"Dan! Stop it."
~~~"Dan......stop it!"
~~~"Dan, stop it!"

~~~"Did you know it was illegal to drag a squirell carcass behind a 4-wheeler? The Nature and
            Wildlife Organization likes to try and fine you $400 for that."
~~~"Yeah so here's the thing: buy popcorn chicken from KFC, then go into like......Wendy's, and
             spill it in the middle of the floor, and leave the box. You get dirty looks from the employees.
             Then take the KFC cup to the counter and ask for a refill. It's fun."
~~~"I had a dream that was some guy standing in the kitchen right when he wakes up, with a cup
             in his hand and music playing, going "the best part of waking up is Emmpaloompas in your
             cup" and then it had a million little Emmpaloompas waving..." "If there were Emmpaloompas
             in my cup I'd write a letter of concern to the beverage company."
~~~"lol the beloved Empa Loompa... tho far from being a miss colored midget...she does bring joy
             into our hearts with her zany antics.. She goes by the names ...Emmie ..Em... Emplode...
             Emaroonski.. Emmaramma.. Emma rinky dinky dink emma rinky doo. and many more.
             Emily is always there for support and help which is very nice and thoughtful...although I
             usually don't confide what I'm feeling to her for fear of a long conversation ...explosions and
             mass destruction (that sort of thing happens often with her)"
~~~"Just look at her..it seems as if she's plotting the demise of the camera man!"
~~~"Oh.....ya I'm mad, but I figured teasing you would help."

~~~"Seriously guys, I'm seriously serious."
~~~"Where'd my sandwich go?" [Seth: Dude...you ate it.] "Oh yeah."
~~~"I promise you'll like this. There's really no rap in it this time."
~~~"hahahaha.........I actually have no idea what you meant by that. What I gave you was a curtesy
             laugh."
~~~"She doesn't count. She ate the competition."

~~~"Have fun, be good, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
~~~"If I set my mind to it, I can.....hurt myself."
~~~"She is NOT going 'Au naturale!' "
~~~"Ice just tastes so good." [Emily: Ice doesn't have a flavor!!]
~~~"Where's my daughter?? EMILY! I am NOT paying $250 a head for your wedding!"

~~~"Just remember I USED to be taller than you. Yeah, in the future I'm going to have you sit
            when you address me.
~~~"To hell with this diet!" *goes and eats one cookie*

~~~"Out like a fat girl playin dodge ball."

~~~"Jessica!?! That's something I would expect out of Emily!" *Emily, feelings completely unhurt
             is rolling around on the kitchen floor laughing*
~~~"What does that mean....it was you? I'm really mad at you guys. I just can't stop laughing."

~~~"20 years old...not a boy...not yet a legal drinker."
~~~"I still have yet to go clubbing.. I need a wingman though.. I've been reading this book my friend got me
            at the feast, How To Pick Up Chicks.. lol.. It goes completely in detail about what to do and say.. M
            friend got it for me as a quasi-gag gift. I did not purchase it. Some advice isn't too bad
            though..."
~~~"If it weren't for the crazy people, I'd be one." [A psychologist]
~~~"Crouching tiger, hidden spittle."

~~~"It's awful sometimes though...church bball is like a free aggression therapy thing for some people."

~~~"A few fries short of a happy meal."
~~~"I feel like roasting marshmellows."
~~~"Height: 5 feet.....short jokes can lead to sudden, unexpected death."

~~~"I draw blood."
~~~"Know what the only thing I'm afraid of is?? Aliens."
~~~"That's not true, you can't fool me!"

Seth S.

Dan

Justin G.

Cody

Jon

Shonda

Dad

Mom

Justin S.

Danielle

Eric

Amanda H.

Becky

Laura