The accident.

The twisted metal hulks burned. The acrid smell of smoke filled the air. I stood by. Silence. I watched, striking a dark, black silhouette against the setting sun, a fiery orb sinking into it’s darkest night. No darkness could hide this hideous shame, the fires would not allow it. The metal burned, and so did I. A rage welled up from within me, threatening my very existence. I screamed toward the heavens, but there was no response. With a lonely howl, I collapsed with exhaustion. Yet sleep could not overtake me, for the smell of cremated flesh filled my nostrils, hung to my clothes, mingled with my blood, my sweat, my tears. I wept, unconscious of the fact my own life was threatened, my arm was torn, almost off, but not quite. Why? The question kept running through my head, yet I could find no response, no plausible answer. There was none. Now I was truly alone, with only my tormenting thoughts to keep me company. I cannot bear this pain, not this again. I dared to look into one of those hideous pyres, I had to know. Nothing. Nothing living. Just a pile of bones, scorched black in places, but generally white, except for the random scraps of flesh the greedy flames forgot to consume. I retched, the green liquid hitting the metal with a satisfying hiss. My head swam. No, my mind screamed, this cannot have happened. I didn’t dare look into the other, for I knew the strain would be too great. I walked away, only now noticing the trail of blood I left behind. I shivered, for I was cold, yet I dare not go near those pyres, even though they were still burning. I’d rather die of cold than go near those places of death to live. Best leave the memory as is, and not disturb these disturbed structures. The moon decided to show her face. Was this her doing, is she hiding a guilty secret that one is not meant to know. I give her an imploring look, but she would not respond. I felt faint, the loss of blood was taking it’s toll. I applied a rough and ready tornique to my elbow. They said I shouldn’t, but how do you put a pressure bandage on single handed. Impossible. I began to walk, to keep warm, to get away from this death trap, and to get help for myself, for it was too late for the others. The others, I didn’t really know them, and they are gone, not just them, all of them, gone. Never again, I said. It should not have happened, so never again. What’s a promise if you cannot keep it. I have no control over this. It was an accident, yeah, that’s what it is. I see the black smudges, those two long snakes, pointing like two long fingers at the point. There can be no way for this to be hidden. I set off into the dark night, the moon hasn’t shown herself fully yet. She must be hiding from this horrible incident, hiding herself from her guilty secret. I cannot take it again, I cannot go on with this on my shoulders. I am weighed down, and I cannot see how I can get out of it. I walk, the lights of the hospital throw a welcome light on the foot path outside, and I guide my weary feet towards it’s glass doors, the concrete box, with it’s sterile white walls actually seemed inviting to me. I stumbled up to the nurse at the front desk, and the room began to swim. I leant heavily against the counter and with my bad arm, hit the bell. The nurse turned around and gave a scream. I smiled as best I could through the pain, then collapsed an the hard linoleum floor. As they hoisted me onto a gurney, they asked me what happened. An accident I replied. Where they said. Down the street, you can’t miss it, just follow the skid marks. And with that I blacked out, a sorry sight, with a mangled arm on a white gurney, my clothes generally black, with splashes of blood on my shirt. Whose blood it was I cannot say. Maybe it was mine, maybe it was the other driver, or maybe it was the one who drove us to this, the cause of this for being drunk and stubborn as a mule. The one who wouldn’t listen to advice. Her! That stupid wretch. Yet she was gone, gone, gone! No, my heart screams, yet my head yells back good riddance, she was nothing but trash. I am torn between these, yet I must follow my heart, and mourn for my wife.

TwistedEar